Latest / Forget The Noise / 6. Finding your Authentic Self | Featuring Taylor Toms

Transcript

6. Finding your Authentic Self | Featuring Taylor Toms · Forget The Noise

• Speaker 1: They say motivation is something you want. Discipline is something you need. Obsession is something you have to have. I'm gonna show you what I wanted, how I got it, and how I was obsessed to get there. Alright, we're gonna hop into another episode of Forget the Noise Podcast. AJ Cappuccini, today we have Taylor Tom's. We have her group real estate. Now, she has done millions of dollars in real estate, has a full team. We're in her brand new office today. You guys can see some content on that. Besides that, we're gonna get to know her. And the reason I wanted to have her on is one, I've been so following her on social media. We've kind of like chit-chatted back and forth. And the cool thing is like the team mentality, going out on your own. She's faced some uphill battles of people telling her she can't do it. She again, she's got a young family. She's married to another business owner, which I can relate to. So there's a lot on the plate today. Got my notes again. But what we're gonna do is try and stay on topic. We're gonna try and dive into some stuff that she wants to talk about, promote her, and then see what it takes to run a team, run a household, and be married to another business owner on top of starting a whole new venture. So we have Taylor. Tell us about yourself a little bit. Just quick. Speaker 2: Hello. You know what? I feel like I've reinvented myself in the last little bit. So this is that's a new thing for me. But I am a mom. I'm a business owner. I've been in real estate for nine years this year. it seems like a long time. but you know, this year, 2026, I took the leap to start my own team. So that was crazy and scary and all of the things, but I've built my business totally on repeat and referral. So, you know, I'm I'm a relational person. I'm super friendly and outgoing and that's what people know about me. But yeah, there's a lot there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes. Speaker 1: So one thing that stood out to me when we were chit chatting, you sent me on your form was the work hard, stay positive and be kind. Now, you're probably a better person than I am because I have a hard time as a business owner now that I've been in business for a few years, growing thicker skin. Like, how do you stick with that? Like that's Speaker 2: Like tattoo it on my arm because I totally live by that. I actually don't even know where that came about. People ask me that all the time, but this business is so hard. Like it's emotionally draining. I posted something on Instagram the other day, was like, real estate is so funny, you can have the best day of your life and the worst day of your life in five minutes because it's just so up and down, and working hard, staying positive, and being kind, like that was the only thing that really. it just stuck with me. Like I'm I'm gonna work hard, I'm gonna stay positive and I'm gonna be kind. And if the outcome is still bad in the real estate transaction, I can sleep at night knowing I did everything I could. I think we have a lot of like there's a lot of bad things that people say about realtors, I think. Like we get paid too much money. They're all snakes. They're really just talking about Yeah, like they're in it for themselves and like If you know me and you've worked with me, all my clients will tell you, like, there's no way. Like I will go above and beyond. But I follow those three mantras so much. And like I used to lose sleep over every deal, every client, every divorce, every money loss. Like, and I just finally said to myself, like, if I do those things, I'm doing everything right. So I just I've lived by it. I've built my business on it. I tell all my clients, like, this is who you're getting. You know, there's days where I'm not my best self, but I'm so authentic now I feel like that I'm like if I live by those things then it's gonna work. Like that's yeah, that's how I sleep at night. Speaker 1: That manager, though, do you find because what I'm getting at is like you have a checklist in your head. And I have the same thing, I have core values, I have a mission statement for my company. And now it's like second nature for me to run that through my head. But I found at the beginning when I was really trying to have that growth stage, I'm sure you just opening this office and building a team, those problems have come out to you at you a thousand times faster, right? You have to make faster decisions. Speaker 2: Well, I have everybody else's problems on you problems on me too. So every every agent on my team's clients, I also now have to sleep with that at night. So there's a lot of there's a lot of doubt, I would say. And now I find myself, which feels so good. Like this is like, you know, I tell my girls all the time, like, if you did the right thing, then you don't need to worry about anything. Like and they second guess themselves and I see them acting the way that I did, and I'm like, no, I stop it right in its tracks and I'm like, you did everything right. You did everything right and you can't beat yourself up in this business because it's so easy to like blame yourself for every crappy market and everything that happens. Speaker 1: Literally your job as the owner. As a leader. It's your job. Speaker 2: I'm like, no. And I and I feel that they feel so inspired by some of the and I I just wish like eight years ago when I was going through things like that, like someone said those things to me, like you're doing the right thing and like you're fine. Cause I had so much anxiety in the beginning of my business being like, ⁓ my god, it's a million dollars. Like I had no money. I didn't know anything about anything. I was like I didn't I didn't even own a house when I got into real estate. So people were like, Should I buy? And I'm like, Yeah. It's like renting. I'm like So now I like Tell my girls all the time, I'm like, if you did the right thing, it doesn't matter. Like you did you followed your values, you did what you had to do, you s you did what you said you would do and that's it. So I come back to it a lot. Like I have to kinda check myself 'cause myself a lot. Yeah. Speaker 1: Consciously you go back to and say, I technically Yeah, because I find with my core values, it's kinda like just in my head. And like before I get into situation, I know it's because I've been doing it so long, it's just like yeah I walk into a situation or a project or something, I'm like, that's gonna be a problem, that's gonna be a problem, that's gonna problem. Okay, okay, okay. And then when I get to it, it's like I already have the solution back. You're like the point where you like you said you were building a team, I'm gonna go off. Speaker 2: Yeah, you already knew. Speaker 1: kinda left field here. It's like I was just doing another podcast and I told someone like, as the owner, it's not your fault, but it's always your problem. Always. So how are you adapting with that now, running a team? Have you got used to Speaker 2: It's new. It's new. ⁓ it's funny because I'm such a worrier. Like I'm I'm a I have OCD, not like OCD, like count click the door shut three times. Like, not like that, but more like I'll overthink it a hundred times and think about every possible scenario. And that came a lot with like coinciding postpartum and then also starting the team. So I've really like Other people's problems, I can solve them. Like I can fix any the the craziest problems, people are losing their house, there's divorce, the bank's coming. Like those problems aren't big for me. It's like the little stupid things that I obsess about. So having the team, I think this is like the best thing that ever happened to me because that's where I really am good at like handling it for them or like teaching them how they should feel. Because I've been through it. Like every experience they send me, like. ⁓ there's aluminum wiring and the buyer's walking away and blah blah it's fine. We have somebody, we'll figure it out. Like but little Speaker 1: From experience though, because you've been doing it what before you had your own team. Make quick decisions because you have quick someone else's deal on a table. Lots of money. Lots of money with one of your team members being represented by you. Yep. Or you are represented by them. Speaker 2: Yeah I I'm telling you. Yeah. I just have the right people now that make me feel confident in the decisions I make. So like, you know, if there's mold in an attic, like I know the guy to call to fix it, so it's not that big of a deal. At the beginning, I was like, I don't have anyone. It's 10 grand. Now I'm like, no. Yeah, like I'm like, it's fifteen hundred bucks. We're good. We'll call somebody. We'll call my buddy. Like it so it's definitely experience. It's like being established as someone people can trust. So when I talk to you and you're my seller and I'm like, don't stress about it. Like Speaker 1: fucking contract. Speaker 2: I have people for you. Like, then they're like, okay, thank God. So I'm just teaching my girls that now. Like you are not your own. You have a whole team that backs you. We are all here. Like, so the little, the little problems I get caught up on, and like that's what I'm really working towards. But like the big problems, I can handle it. Like, I don't know. I've always been like that though. Speaker 1: Do you think that's why it puts you at the top three in V Max, top three, big thing there. Speaker 2: Yeah, I was number three for 30 under 30, which was huge for Remax. ⁓ that was Canada wide. So I was like 21, then seven, and then three. Now I'm over 30, but yeah, that was huge. That was crazy for me. I had no idea. I'm not a numbers person. Like I I don't like so many agents are like top 100, like top produ everyone's a top producer in the industry. That's I don't know what that means, but I mean I don't post how much money I make. I think that that's ridiculous. but that was pretty cool to tell people. And I tell people a lot, like, I'm top three in Canada and I tell you that only because I have the experience to represent you. Not because I think I'm the best. Speaker 1: And that's the thing, like I feel like you get to a certain point in business and it feels like you're veteran and seasoned enough where Like I look at myself in business and like I was just talking with Thrun and it was one of those like I have eight players on my team. Yeah. I really try to treat them well. I try to make sure we get the job done right. And when I tell people like we are the best contractor or I prom I I get I'm getting into consulting, coaching, I kinda say, like, I have a book, I have a podcast, I have the gym every morning, I run a construction company. I'm not doing it to brag. It's building that credibility. It's credibility. Yeah, it's credibility. It's depositing receipts, like proof of concept that I am the person to work on. A hundred percent. So do find Speaker 2: Google reviews like I want receipts. Speaker 1: Yeah, no that that's what it is, right? Yeah. And you find like being team lead and promoting that top three, does your day to day change now? Like do you see yourself as like I hate to say it but like an A player where you're like it's not a confidence thing, it's like confidence and because when you first start your business you have this like I hate you have like you're afraid but you're like I need to be like in your face I need to be the best. Yeah, the best out there. But now you just walk in the door, it's kinda like my baggage will tell you who I am. I don't need to introduce myself. Speaker 2: So afraid. Yeah. It feels so It feels so good now. It's more like I can be selective with the people that I work with. You know, I have a son that's the time like my I work this hard for my family. I don't work this hard to have the best real estate business. Like I think I'm really good at it. I think I it's where I thrive. I think running the team is totally exactly what I needed to do. But I do this for the time with my family too. So like I Well, o like when I go to a listing appointment, like I'm very honest. I'm like, listen, I have Liz, I have Madison, I have Norma. You're gonna meet all of them because I can't run a one woman show. That's why I have a team. So no, I'm not gonna do every open house for you. I'm not gonna do every showing, but I have the best people here to help you. And I also say, like, listen, I pick up my son at four or three thirty and I won't respond to you till seven thirty. Like my phone's off. It's not accessible at all. Yep. Unless I'm in the middle of an offer or like, you know, if I have showings like I have the best husband ever that will deal with it, but my family time is so sacred. And if clients are like that doesn't work for me, I'm like Okay. Call me in three months. Speaker 1: Did you have those standards before you had a family in it? So it was twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Yep. Speaker 2: I never saw my husband ever. I never saw my family. Which you know what? Honestly, I tell everybody if you don't have a son or or a a daughter or a family, work as hard as you can at the beginning. Pound it because Speaker 1: I'm a strong believer in that because I don't think there and I talk about it on every episode that the work-life balance is there's no balance. Like no, but like it's like if you wanna succeed and get forward and move forward, like do what those other people are doing plus some. Yeah. If you're not there yet, right? Speaker 2: No balance. So I still don't balance. I did everything. I did the weirdest shit ever in the beginning of my business. Like I don't even I don't even know what I was doing to like get people to trust a twenty four year old realtor who didn't own a house. Yeah. I was selling shoes for ten years before this, like running a Browns shoes in Ontario sales team, things like that. Like I had no experience doing this. So Speaker 1: ⁓ battle before you walked in the door. Speaker 2: ⁓ God, like it was like what? Like she's this like skinny blonde girl that thinks she's gonna sell real estate now. Like people looked at me and was like, okay. Yeah, exactly. Even my family used other realtors in the beginning and I was like, These people like now I'm like now they're like, You have to sell my house. Like now I sell their cousins and their fri like, you know, and I'm like so yeah, it's there's no such thing as work life balance. I think that's a joke. I think that Speaker 1: So does sell and sunset you want. Speaker 2: Worked so hard like a crazy person for seven years. And then I had my best year ever when I was pregnant because I thought no one would ever hire me again once I had a baby. So I w sold 60 houses or something crazy. That's crazy. The year I was pregnant. I didn't see my husband once. Like I think we went to bed together and that was it. Yeah. I sold a house while I was in labor. I never took a mat leave. So like I don't believe in that. Yeah. But I do believe in my business. So figuring out a way to like make them work. Some days it's it's different every day. Speaker 1: So real estate is and I don't want this all to be real estate, but I think this is important as I guess an individual. It's fucking cutthroat. Like honestly, like I deal with so many realtors because I do Speaker 2: eighty five thousand realtors in the Toronto real estate. Speaker 1: But even the way real ester realtors like operate, I know you guys have a code of ethics and stuff like that. But I do a lot of walkthroughs and have real estate agents call me and say, Hey, this person's buying a house, they wanna know how much equity they gotta pull to do a rental. I'm like, okay, I'll come in, this and that. I see some of these real estate agents and they're like smoke, they blow and I'm like, guys, stop telling people I can almost wish I can go to masterminds that I know realtors are at and tell them how it is as a contractor and what you're getting into when you're buying a house. Because I'm like, stop lying to these people. Speaker 2: They don't even know though. They don't even know what they're talking about. Speaker 1: Top three standard. So that's what I want to talk about because I find contractings like this. So you're in that top three. And I have this theory. I don't know how we explain it. Like, imagine a hundred people trying to climb to the top, right? When you're floating in that middle, you only have 30, 40 people below you. Yeah. Right? And you're trying to get to that number one position. Yeah. So you're really only competing with 51, 52, 53. But when you're at like top three, right, you have 97 people behind you coming for your throat. Even if one person lets off, you have ninety six more people. Yeah. Does that make sense? I feel like there's more pressure when you're at the top. ⁓ yeah. Do you feel that now when you go into a negotiation or something like that? Because I'm comparing to contracting too as one of the better contractors, I feel like when I go in for a tender, it's one of those like, okay, I'm going against these guys and these guys like really low ball their price because they're like, I know what he has to offer, so I'm gonna cut him down to get there. Do you find when you go in negotiations, especially like younger female, just starting your own team? Yeah. How do you feel the control with our Speaker 2: lot of with other agent like so I'm practice yeah I have a lot of agent friends and I think that that is what put me at the top. I get deals done because of the connections that I have. So if my buyers are going in on a property and I know the listing agent and we're friends and we get drinks together and I support them and you know I big them up I know I'm getting it over the other one without negotiation because that's just who I am. So I learned that really early on. I saw people in my office being like the best negotiator, and I'm like, that doesn't jive with me. Like I can negotiate no matter what. Like that, that's what I'm good at. But I also know I'm better at being a friend, a a social person. I'm better at taking care of you, calling you on your kids' birthdays. You're not competition to me. So I learned that really early. Is like I'm gonna. Have good friends in the industry that are gonna pick my offer over other ones, even if their price isn't better. Eve and they're gonna tell me, like, here, listen, you know, we have another offer coming. Like, transparency, I think, was so big. So, you know, I don't find myself negotiating a lot anymore because the value speaks for itself. It's more like, you know, and I'll tell people, like, look, this is my book of everything I've done. I won't sit here and tell you I've sold 700,000 houses, but You know, this is the type of person I am. So who do you want to work with? Right? And then other people are like, Well, I like her. I dun you know, so it's changed. It's changed. I used to negotiate a lot. Now I'm more like, This is me. This is my these are my results. Let's be friends. Let's work together. That's basically it. Speaker 1: So with being able to walk into a negotiation with that it's called power or leverage. Leverage is a better word. Yeah. With leverage, do you find the more leverage you gain because I I I I'm starting to feel like this as I'm building the credibility is like the chip off my block is getting bigger and not in a like fuck you way or like I'm gonna step on your toilet. Just kinda like I just don't care. Like I I have this Chip off my block that's like this big and when I walk in somewhere I'm like, it's up to you. Like I literally just let go of like a million dollar contract. Yeah. I just dropped another contract with like a franchise. And I'm like, we just don't jive. Like eye to eye, we don't Speaker 2: always tell people I'm like, listen, this is not an interview. This is a meeting where we decide if we work well together. Yeah. That's it. Hundred percent. You're not interviewing me. Let's sit here and decide if we want to work together. And I've left listing appointments being like, ⁓ my God, please don't hire me. Please don't hire me. Cause and I'll take it, 'cause that's how I am. I'm gonna take it anyway. But I'm like, and now I'm like, ⁓ my God, okay, here we go. But you know what? The tough people, like my team always laughs. They're like Taylor, you always get like Speaker 1: Using veterans, right? Speaker 2: People that try to I don't know, I I do get a lot of people that kind of think like they're negotiating with me even though I'm their agent. So I'll like put them in their place a little bit. Well, or just like, you know, you work for me and I'm like, okay, yes, but you hired me for a reason. So like I just kind of set that tone, like, yes, we work together, I know it's high stress, I know there's money on the line. Like I try to like resonate with people a lot because there's so much emotion that comes into it where you have to take yourself out of it, I think. Speaker 1: I can tell it at one point. You've been on the flip side of that where people have told you you can't do it, you can't make it. Because I I did see that on your forum where you're like, people have literally told you, like, you're not gonna make it, you're not gonna do it. Like, in specific, was there someone close to you? You know how to say names, but I'm just saying like relevant, I see them every day kind of people told me I didn't, or just kind of like friends and past I know from high school told me I wasn't gonna make it. Like it's almost a double-ended sword because, like, when I was starting my own business and stuff like that. I had a lot of people that supported me, but I had people that told me I shouldn't do it, but I'm like, but you've never gone through it. How would you know? Like you know, I'm not gonna tell someone like, you know, white water rafting isn't fun. I'm like, I haven't fucking gone. Yeah. Right? Like that. But anything coming from people Speaker 2: I don't want to go either. If you don't do it, how do you know? Speaker 1: But it actually when I was reading that, it actually kind of resonated with me and made me think like, was there anything anyone said to you about not being able to do it that came true? Because I look at it and I'm like, I made it, I built it, like I did it. Like people that doubted me I started thinking about like, yeah, but this person said I may have a lot of sleepless night, so yeah, they were right about that. And I didn't listen at the time. Speaker 2: There's things that people said like that I don't like to do, like paperwork. Like, you know, ⁓ like I love training people. I think that that's where I'm good, but like the paperwork aspect of the business and like things like like there's more admin than I maybe thought that there would be running the team, but like I'll figure it out. Like so that was true. I think all the good totally outweighs the bad. So, you know, there's sleepless night there were sleepless nights before. Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like there's always sleep. All right, so we're gonna touch on one thing you talk about your team with, but I'm gonna throw something at you. The ego wants to be seen. Intention just wants the work done. And I think that kind of cor correlates with intention not ego. Mm-hmm. So I wanna touch on that a little bit. Speaker 2: Always sleepless nights, right? Yeah. I you know what i the ego in this business and like in my team is out the door. Like I let all the girls know twenty four seven, like there's no ego found in this room. So I don't think that I know better than they do. I don't think that they know better than me. I think the biggest thing that we want is to be intentional with what we do and be proud of it. And, you know, the ego kind of comes with that. Ego is results for me. Like if you have a big ego and you love what you do and whatever, that's that's results driven. Like that better not be based on like that. Yeah, like it but you better have results to back up that ego. If you don't, like I have no place for that in here. So Speaker 1: Get out of Speaker 2: You know, I don't there's for me, this business is so intentional. My time is so intentional. Like I'm a crazy person with time. Like I'm like, okay, how long is that gonna take? And we set a timer and we get it done. Like I don't have time for BS. If it's four o'clock, don't call me. Like my girls know, don't call me. Four to seven, I'm unavailable. Text me, I'll call you at seven ⁓ one when my kid is sleeping. Like I only get a couple hours in the day to be a mom, be a wife. Like we have to be intentional, right? Speaker 1: It's awesome that you can set those standards. Right. Like it's so I read a quote the other day and when I was going through your form where we were chit-chatting and everything, I'm like, this is again this is like it. So when people tell you who they are, believe them. Mm-hmm. When they tell you who they are, don't. Mm-hmm. So wait, when people tell you who they are, believe them. Mm-hmm. When people tell you who you are, don't. So I think that kinda correlates with the ego with like Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: who you are when you started your business, everything like that. So who when you were starting, well let's say starting your team. Mm-hmm. Because I feel like there's a little bit more backlash on that than there was starting as a realtor. Speaker 2: People just laughed at me starting as a realtor. Speaker 1: Yeah. But but do people actually come to you and like say, This is who you are or this is what you're gonna become or this is what you're gonna have to be doing. You put yourself in the spotlight, even with myself, yeah, people tend to like build this persona in their head of who you are or who you're gonna be without even giving you the opportunity to kind of prove that or Speaker 2: ⁓ yeah, limitations and stuff. Think people put limitations. Like like you're gonna go here. Like I think the biggest thing people said to me when I opened the team was like, ⁓ so are you gonna grow like a big team or like are you just gonna keep it you guys? I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. So like I don't know. We're just trying to go with the flow. So people do put like people say like you don't you don't wanna start a big team, do you? Like you don't wanna have to be responsible for ten people. And I'm like I don't know. Like not really not today, not this year, but I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't like So people put limitations on it like that. but you know, I kind of bring my I try really hard to bring myself back to like why am I doing this? What is the root of why I'm doing this? Because that's all that matters. Like, I'm doing this for that person, me ten years ago or whatever, being like, What am I gonna do? Like, am I gonna get my license? Am I gonna do this? Like, I wanna make an impact on people, I wanna make an impact on the community, I wanna help my girls, I wanna give Norma the best life she can have, like. Those things are so important to me. The money, the deals, how many houses I sell, it doesn't matter. Like Speaker 1: I think that comes with having just setting a standard for yourself, right? And I find entrepreneurs, team leaders, whoever else is at kind of like the peak of the iceberg, I find we all get judged for by other people on the limitations they put on themselves. Yeah. So if someone's like, Well, we were just having a talk and someone's like, I can never buy a house, it's kinda like, well Speaker 2: You can never buy a house. Speaker 1: You know, now you're telling me I can't buy a house because you believe you can't buy a house. A hundred percent. Yeah, I feel those limitations are really pushed on us. And we're constantly breaking through those barriers where it's like resistance, resistance, resistance because people can't see it. Like I'm big on networking. Mm-hmm. And actually I can give you your book. I just wrote a book on networking. So Yeah. Speaker 2: I just got it. You don't need yeah, it just came yesterday. ⁓ sweet. Yeah. Speaker 1: Beautiful. See another supporter? but I find support like finding a support system and networking around other people that have that same kind of mindset, yeah, really changes what you believe in yourself you can do. Right. Because you're not deal sure you always believe you can have a team of seven, eight, ten people, right? Yeah. When twenty people are telling you like you should you just start with a small team, keep it small, keep it small, you slowly start to put that Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, Okay, I'll keep it small too. That's why I was on a team for eight years. Speaker 1: Ma yeah, but you may still get to eight people on a team. But might take you five years rat rather than if you put yourself in a room with people that set the limitations on like she can do a team of eight because I do a team of twelve. You'll do that in a year. Yep. So do you have to s shift your surroundings or your environment to Speaker 2: So it's funny. I would say like so my son's nineteen months, he's gonna be two this year. And like when I before motherhood or pregnancy and all that stuff, like I was very much like, these are my group of friends, you know, I network, I do things like that, but like we weren't all in the same position. Like I had one best friend who had babies a little bit like five years before me. Yeah. So no one was ever there for her out of our friend group. No we had we're like we had no idea how to support a mom. So we were all on different levels. And then I'm like, listen, I need a group of people that are in the same spot as me. They're business owners, they're mothers, whether they're mothers or not, but they're running a business, they're they have families, like we're all in the same point because I need people to talk to that actually understand what I'm going through. Yeah. So like I changed my not my friend group, my friend group I'm so proud, like we've been friends for 25 years. All my girlfriends, my best friends, my bridesmaids, like that's my core group of friends. But I really surround myself on a day to day with like another group of people that are in my femme social group, which we'll touch on like that's important to me to have different areas where I get support from. Like sometimes I need a girls' night where we're drinking wine and going out and not worrying about being a mom or running a business or whatever. Some nights I need a femme social night where we're masterminding and we're talking about ways to get business and referrals and it's really hard sometimes. So I learned early on, like I need different pockets of support for it to work for me. Yeah. And that was the only way I got through like postpartum and starting the team. And like I hired Madison, who is my new agent, who also has a son similar age to my son Bennett. So we connect on that level. Like I think it's just putting the right people around me. to give me the the strength to, you know, make it bigger than what people think it is. Speaker 1: Totally get that because my big thing with the podcast, this is a passion project. Yeah. Like I'm not making no money from this. It's all coming out of my pocket. But I believe down the road I'm having ROI for it. Like my personal branding. But I'm selective on who I'm bringing up. I either want to be have guests on that relate with me. Yeah. I can pull back the curtain and actually show people this is who AJ is. He's just some guy in front of the camera. It's people like you building a team. I want people like my wife was on the episode where she's like, This is a real fucking AJ. Yeah. Right. I had a friend on there who he started his business around the same time as I am. Yeah. We're kinda at the same level now, so we've gone through that growth together. We've had each other's kind of backs and stuff. So I'm a huge advocate for having people in your season around you at the right time but also having a support system. Yeah. But you were talking about Chris, your husband. And he's also visionary. Yep. So when I had the episode with my wife, the cool thing was, like I was telling you earlier, was I learned stuff about her that I didn't really think about. Like I always had this mindset, like I'm the visionary, she's the integrator when it comes to business. Yeah. And I always had this stressor where I was like, every time I come to her with an idea, she's gonna be worried or stressed out. Speaker 2: Me, yeah. Speaker 1: And in the episode, she's like, You've done it ten times. I don't fucking care anymore. Or like just do Trust you now. Yeah, I'm like, ⁓ wow. Like you felt like this for a while. I could have done so many more things. Like it's kind of like cool to learn about my wife, like setting in front and being vulnerable in front of people. But you and Chris are two visionaries. Yeah. And we kinda touched on that in on our on our on on our episode. Yeah. How is like how does it work with the visionary two visionaries? Because I find the visionary Speaker 2: Telling In a different setting. Speaker 1: is kinda like the Tasmanian devil. Yep. And then the integrator kinda says, Okay, but we gotta do it a certain way. Speaker 2: So he's more the Tasmanian devil for sure. He has so many ideas and he's just really good at everything. So any idea he has is always executed and then it lasts for 30 days and then we move on to the next thing. So it's funny because his business, like he's been doing this longer than I've been in real estate. He started in our garage, like doing like vehicle decals, things like that, window tint, you know. And so he was building a business when I was maybe in real estate school or like still working for Browns but doing the online school and like he supported me 100%. Like he was like, you you need to do this, I'm gonna do this. So we met in high school, like in grade nine or maybe grade eight. So we've been together for a very long time. So we've kind of built these things together, but it's hard. Like I'm more of an executor, I would say. I'm very I don't like change. So like I will commit to something and then that's what it is. So it takes me a little bit longer to get there. He's more like we can change our mind every thirty days about things that we want to do. So it's hard for me sometimes to keep up with him. I've kind of learned now with being together for like fifteen years, like, just do what you want to do and I'm gonna do what I want to do. Let's not comment on each other the way that we do them. Let's just support each other the way we want to, right? So Speaker 1: It's career and hobby wise though. Like what does dinner talk look like? Like when you guys are running a household. Speaker 2: Yeah. With a nineteen month old. Speaker 1: Real wise, like me and Malik pretty good. We're kind of like she's she's You wanna do I'm like, You wanna do that? We support each other. Speaker 2: It's hobbies like that too, I would say, like dinner properly. Speaker 1: You guys are like running a home was like business. ⁓ my god. Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to touch on my house manager too because this is my new era of happiness. I yeah, so at home we have a very chaotic life. Like I people that come to my house, like it they're not chilling. They walk in the door and we have two labs, chaos is happening, there's hot wheels everywhere. There's like and I'm a clean freak. Like, look at my office, this is how my house is. But it's very chaotic. So like we don't get a lot of time together. Which is funny, because he's my total best friend ever. I would do everything with him first out of anybody, because he's so chill and normal and just makes me feel comfortable. But we don't talk a lot at home. We have like, what are we feeding the baby? What are we like just chaos? And then seven o'clock happens, my son's going to bed. And then we were talk talking about this. Like seven o'clock, I'm like, okay, good night. Like, we're so tapped out from the day that we like intentionally schedule like date nights. Like my mom will take my son for the night, my mother in law, like We need help to connect because we try not to talk a lot about business. I think it gets boring. So we just talk about like, I don't know, things that are upcoming, things we want to do. We love to travel together. So like aspirations, but we try not to talk a lot about business. Speaker 1: So that kinda touches on what I was gonna ask is like, do you have like an unspoken role? Like me and wife don't really have a role because we're both I guess very disciplined like that. Like she knows if I'm asking her something about work, like, hey, this project I forgot today. Yeah. It's generally because it's pressing. Yeah. Speaker 2: Needs Speaker 1: To happen. It needs to happen kind of thing. So we don't really have an unspoken rule. But I have talked to some business owners that are married to each other and they're kinda like, we just don't do this on Fridays. Yeah. Or Saturdays are our day off. Like, I like to get the insight from people and kinda say like where everyone's at and stuff like that. And I find that's very new business owners that have that unspoken rule. I think people that Speaker 2: It's funny. I feel like being like, let me actually see that work. I feel like people say I'm like, yeah, okay. My phone rings and they're like, ⁓ my God, this is like chaos happens all the time. I think we've learned like our values are to be with our son between four and seven every day. Weekends, like I really try hard to not work on the weekends anymore. That's why I built the team is to get the girls doing open houses, showings. Like I wanna be home with my kid. I wanna be with my husband. So Speaker 1: It doesn't work. Speaker 2: We really try not to, but if I have an open house or something's happening, like he's not gonna be like, But you said that you don't work weekend like I'm like, dude, sorry. It's gotta happen. ⁓ Speaker 1: And we were talking about that on the episode with my wife where she's like friends are always like because they don't they're not business owners, so they don't get it. They're like he's always on his phone, this and that. And she goes, If he's on his phone, he's probably making us money. So I'm gonna do it. Yeah, so I'm gonna shut up and let him do his thing. She goes, Because I trust that he's gonna do his thing. She goes, It doesn't bother me. I don't care. It bothered. It has to happen. Speaker 2: It bugs me if my if we're like sitting there and sometimes I think this is a guy thing, so I don't mean to be an ass, but I think you get stuck scrolling in the Doom Scroll and my husband does this where I'm like, Hello, like, are you here? And then he's like, ⁓ shit. Like he actually isn't even there because he doesn't even know what he's doing. So I'm like, that bugs me a bit. Yeah. Cause I'm like, hey, you know, I Like I want you to pay attention, but I do it too. Like I'm like and then he's like, You just did that. And I'm like, I know, but I'm gonna call you out because I'm like 'cause that's what I'm gonna do. He'll never call me You would never. But then I'm like, why do I do that? Like so you like question yourself, but it's only it's not cause I wanna be a bitch or a nag. I just want him to be present present with us, which he is the best d like anyone that knows my husband is like Speaker 1: No, no, I know yeah, I mean. Speaker 2: He's like the mom too. Like we're s I was saying this to you. Like, we're so 50-50. Because I never took a mat leave, I'm like, you have to learn how to wake up in the night. You have to feed bottles. Like, he puts my son to bed to n ⁓ to bed every single night. So he's the one that does that, not me, because I usually work in the night. So I'm so grateful for that. But there's not really un I think the unspoken word is like, let's be together as much as we can and be present when we are together. But let's also support each other when other things come up. We're like, I don't want to be working at nine in my bed, but I have to tonight. Yeah. Right? And I'm like, does and I say to him, like, does this bug you? Like, do you want me to go to my office? And he's like, No, I don't care. Yeah. So I think it's just like that open, like communication. I'm not gonna piss him off by being on the laptop if he's trying to sleep. But if he's just chilling there too, like I'd rather be beside him than you know, like be hiding in the basement. And I'm like, so I think it's we've learned a lot of like time management, but also asking, like, does this bug you? Is this okay if I do this? Yeah. And that's really worked recently. Speaker 1: So you think the communication helps with because I I'm I love seasons. I think everyone goes through seasons. People I say, I'm good, I'm set up, my thing is stagnant. No, you're not. You're not you're not progressing then. So I think and we I was just talking with my videographer in the car on the way up, and I'm like, you're gonna go through the lonely season, and then you'll go through the shiny objects and season, then you're gonna go through the success season, and then you're gonna go back to the lonely season because now you're leveled up and you're with different people. Constantly like that. Like, how do you guys Speaker 2: Yeah. Now you need more. Speaker 1: Like is it communication that helps you guys get through the ⁓ get the other one through a hard season? These are our hard hard seasons. So, like if you're in a hard season Speaker 2: Yes, I was just gonna say we've only ever been in a hard season together once, which was postpartum. Like that was the only season we were in the same season at. Everything else we're kind of like like w right now with my team, he's not trying to grow his business right now. Once I'm a stuck because he's helping me. Like he's he built everything in this office, like that's his focus. So he focuses on me and like his business is great. It's running, it's lucrative. But now that he has this, like he's like, okay. Now he's thinking about doing the mezzanine at his place and like doing all that. So now I can give him that time. So we try to balance out the seasons like that. We went through a very, very hard like to be honest with you, right after I we had like I had my son, it was hard because we were both trying to grow a business and being like, Wait, we don't have free time. You have to ask me to go to the gym. You're ten minutes later than you said you were gonna Now I'm like, No, you're not going anywhere. Like you just have that like Speaker 1: In a human now, like Speaker 2: freak out mentality and it's like we can't live that way. So we really had to like we had a brand new marriage, like I'm telling you. People, people are not honest enough about this. And I think that it's so that's why I said to you, like I wanna touch on this because people post on Instagram and I was so bad for this being like, well look at this family. Like they can do it. They can manage. They can do this. And it's like they have they're doing exactly what we're doing and they're Freaking out every night, they're anxious, they're nervous, they're not sleeping, they're fighting, their marriage is on the rocks, like and then I just like scaled back and I'm like, listen, like we have to be there for each other or else this is not gonna work. So we had a serious conversation being like, How do we fix this and like be parents together and be business owners and support each other? Because I can't be the best mom, the best realtor, the best wife, the best cooking person. Like I can't. Speaker 1: That's the that's it. Like that's the whole work life balance I was talking about. I'm like you're gonna get seventy in some spots and there's only a hundred percent. There's only you have to split somewhere and so d when you guys had that talk, did you find things got better instantly or was there a lot of adjustment? Speaker 2: Only a hundred percent. Like we yeah, I would say it took us a good year to be comfortable in in our new routines. Like, I mean, you know this, you're a father. As your kids get older, it becomes easier. It's so hard at the beginning because you don't know what you're doing. You're so anxious, you're so nervous, you're you're freaking out about everything, like you don't want people to touch the baby. And y Instagram is so bad. Like it's like social media makes you so afraid to be a mother and be a father that it's like It's ruined so much for people. So I think we like pulled back on that. Like we're not listening to what other people say. We're going with our gut more. Like, so we just outlined like what is not working. Like I'm stressing out and doing laundry at 10 o'clock at night and trying to like make meals and do all this stuff. And I'm like, I need a house manager. I need someone to come and help me with all the things so that I can run the business to pay for her. Yeah. Like and Chris and I were like, it's a no-brainer. Like we both make enough money to do this. Why are we going crazy? Like Speaker 1: I'm huge on that and I love the house manager idea because I've told everyone if I become a millionaire, I will not spend money on Lamborghinis, I will not spend money on fancy houses, I will spend money on buying back my I will get a personal chef, I will get a house manager, I will get a cleaning ⁓ service, I'll get like those are the things I will put my money into. It is Speaker 2: A hundred percent. I will do that. The best thing I ever did in my life. Like I tell everybody, Julie, I love you. It is the best thing I ever did in my life. She comes Monday, Wednesday, Friday. She doesn't take care of my kid. He's in school. Like he's in a daycare. She is there by herself at the house doing cleaning. Not even like deep clean. Like she just man she does the bedding. She makes sure the laundry's done and put away. She makes the meals for the week. Like it is the best she's there for the dogs. She feeds them. She gets our groceries. Like things that I was being like, ⁓ my God, I have to do this. ⁓ my God, I have to get diapers. I have to get this. Like, it's just done. I get home, the dishwasher's empty. I'm like, ⁓ my God. So we can go for bike rides. We can like the snacks are prepped and cut up in the thing, and I can just take it from the fridge and go to the beach. Like that to me is time. We were coming home and being like, hey, you're gonna watch the baby, I'm gonna unload the dishwasher, you're gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. And it was a constant like, well, I did that. So you do this, I did that, and I'm like, no one's doing it anymore. Julie's doing it, and we're going to the beach. Yeah. So we just hired her two months ago. I'm telling you, my marriage and my family life and like the time I spend with my kid has gone from like a two to a two hundred. Like it's amazing. It's the best thing I ever did. Speaker 1: So what season do you believe people in a marriage with kids should get to that point? Financial decide. Like I know you don't be able to afford it. But like do you feel like there's a stage at it? Because I feel like now, like where I'm at, like I'm I'm forty. Yeah. And we have my son going on seventeen this year and my daughter going on fifteen. Yeah. So they're pretty independent. My son drives. I don't see a house manager at this point. My kids are never home. No. No, like me and wife both. So would you recommend it pre kids or right? Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You guys are fine. ⁓ I think once your kid is in daycare. Like well, I said to Julie the other day, I'm I was a we're having one child and that's it. And then when Julie came, I was like, I th if I had you, I would have another baby. Because she helps me so much that I'm like like she would be helpful in postpartum maybe to like help me with foods and like things like that. But having her there at my house when no one is there is the best feeling in the world. So I would say like twelve months and on, that's when I would look into doing it, if you're so busy and you can't do it. Like Speaker 1: Jump back time to spend with your family. Speaker 2: That's all it is. It's not because I have the time. Like, you know, and I if you know me, I'm a clean freak. Like I'm doing laundry, I'm cleaning, I'm doing everything constantly, but I'll spend too much time doing that, that then I'm not in the business. So I don't get paid to do laundry. Like no one at my house is paying me. So I'm like, I'm gonna come here, sell some real estate, and we'll pay Julie, and Chris will go wrap some cars and we'll pay Julie. Like Speaker 1: Yeah, and my like I'm very head down and I'll just do it myself. And my wife is phenomenal at kind of pulling in the reins for me. Kind of saying, What is your time worth? Like we actually have Speaker 2: How much would you charge to do that? That's the thing. Speaker 1: She like and I I got that in my head. I just it's not my first nature to go to that. Like we're picking we have a permit coming up in Hamilton. Yeah. And I actually had to physically drive this permit. Yeah. Because if you're from the city of Hamilton and you work in the office, please tell me why such a big city doesn't have a fucking portal. But I had to physically go Speaker 2: ⁓ yeah. Go drop it off. Speaker 1: And she's like, Call pure later and Yeah, and do like thirty bucks and send it over there. She she goes, That thirty dollars is not worth your time. And I'm like shit that's Speaker 2: Courier. Yeah, do a courier. So I learned this too. I would do that. I would do that. I would pick up deposits from people in frickin' like I don't know, Wasega Beach, all the and I'm like, what am I doing? What am I doing? It's thirty dollars. I'm gonna spend more on gas in my stupid Bronco. I'm gonna drive there and drive back for no reason. I haven't checked emails. I can't call anybody back. Like so I I started doing that, but I like that first like I'll just do it. I'll just do it myself. Speaker 1: I'm not good at Yeah, and when she says I'm like, why didn't I think of Like I don't know if it's just not second nature for me or she's just a lot more practical because honestly, like I was starting my business and if I wasn't working my business, I was working like six days a week and we had our babies. Yeah. So she was our house manager. Yeah. And she did a fucking phenomenal job. She had like everything to a T, knew what was efficient, what wasn't. Like I'd come home and she's like, You need to do this, this and this and this, I'd just shut up and do it. Yeah. I'm like, because clearly she's thought this through. Yeah. And I just don't have the mindset like that. So like Speaker 2: Change it up. Speaker 1: Having that house manager I could see Speaker 2: ⁓ my god, it's like the best thing, honestly. And because like I feel like I was trying so hard to be the best mom and the best wife and the best homemaker and the best realtor. And it's like, cause that's me. Yeah. I that's me. I am the best in my head. In my head, I'm the best. So I'm like, which sounds so stupid, but I'm like, I have to be the number one. And I'm like, I can't. And I had so many breakdowns being like to my husband, like, I can't do this. Like, and he's like, You don't need to. Like, and he would keep telling me that, but it didn't matter to me. I was like, I need it. So I need her to make my house feel clean every day. Yeah. Whereas some people, I go to some of my like clients or friends, I'm like, doesn't like I just think to myself, like, doesn't it drive you nuts to have this on your counter? But like I won't go to bed. If the counters aren't clean, like I'm not going to bed. Like I'm staying up all night. Like we don't go to bed with dishes. Speaker 1: Honestly, my wife is like that and I love her for it because my house is always clean and but like my son will wipe the counter, then I will wipe the counter. She'll come back and she she'll wipe it. I'm like, ⁓ my god. I know. It's been but when I wake up in the morning Speaker 2: Yeah, but it makes you feel good. And I My mom is like that, so I blame her. My mom my mom made me Speaker 1: In turn, like if you're living with someone like that, like I complain about because I'm like, Why am I doing this? And you're just gonna come behind relax, right? But truthfully, like I get up at four fifteen. When I come downstairs to make coffee, I'll bring your I'll bring your coffee in bed and I feel better waking up because I'm like, Whoa, the kitchen's clean. Like you know what I mean? Speaker 2: But when you wake up and mess, it's you're automatically having a chaotic day. 'Cause you're pissed off and at six AM you don't want to be unloading the dishwasher. So I'm just like I'd rather do it at night where I have the energy. Yeah. But yeah, I'm like that too. It's crazy. Speaker 1: Okay, so a rising tide lifts all boats, but only if the boats stop trying to sink each other. Mm-hmm. So I wanna get into the whole FEM group and stuff like that. So where, why, how so what is it about Speaker 2: So my mortgage brokers and best friends, April and June, we worked together very, very closely from the very beginning of my business. So they were starting their business at the same time, same year. this was like 2019-ish, I think. And we were like, okay, we're doing so much business, like 10 deals a year, maybe together. That was a lot at the time, like in the beginning of our business. And we were doing all repeat and referral. And I'm like, we need something that. Brings female business owners together and also like we get together once a month. So we basically have like a membership. So they pay $250 a year, which honestly doesn't cover much, but it's just like a buy-in for your membership. So we do applications. There's one female per industry. So like a home inspector, a psychiatrist. We have everybody, like a a web designer, a life coach, all these different people. So we did applications. Speaker 1: Like if you want value, yeah. Speaker 2: We've done it for four years now. I we took a break in 2024 when I was pregnant because it was crazy time. ⁓ then we came back last year, amazing, best year ever that we had. We had 22 girls. ⁓ we had like over 30 applications. We had to say no to some people because there was duplicates. So basically what we do is we meet monthly, at different places, but we do like masterminds. So sometimes we just drink wine and we chat and we literally don't have a topic. Like we're just together kind of networking. Like kind of people. The point of the group is like, listen, if you need a realtor, are you calling me? Am I your realtor? Yes. If I need a home inspector, am I calling you? Yes. If I need a psychiatrist or my friend says, Hey, do you know a good psychiatrist? Yes. I'm calling this person, right? So It you what, I went to so many B and I's like have you been in B and I groups? Like, okay, so I hated them. I hated them and I was like, this is the most boring crap shit of my life. Yeah. I need to make a B and I cool and fun and for females only, and we drink wine and we eat cheese and we cry sometimes and we talk about highs and lows and motherhood and businesses and clients that are driving us nuts and like we've just built such a good friendship, but I get 50% of my business from these groups. So like I'm running these female social groups and I'm so vulnerable with them now, which I never used to be. I was always like, now we're running this, da da da. And now I'm like, ⁓ my God, today was really hard. Yeah. This guy said this to me. This, you know, this deal's falling apart. I just lost 20 grand. Like, so I'm really honest and I got more referrals since that. So it's just kind of a way to support women in business, but also like be there for each other. when we need it most. So it's it's been the best thing ever. So what's Speaker 1: gap you find with women entrepreneurs right now. Because be surrounding yourself with them, clearly you you must see something. Like I can put myself in a room right away and kinda say, okay, this room's missing this. Like what what do you find is the biggest gap right now? Speaker 2: ⁓ Like in terms of industry? Speaker 1: Just women to women as entrepreneurs. Like do you find there's a scary Speaker 2: It's the balancing. Like I think so many people feel the way I did, like, and they don't want to say it. I think that the biggest gap is like being honest and vulnerable about what's really going on and getting the support that you need. A lot of people can't afford it. So, you know, it's great that I can say, ⁓ we got a house manager, but a lot of people are like, Good for you. Yeah. You're a realtor. Of course you have a house manager. So I'm like, no, I just decided I'm gonna work harder. to get to pay for her. Like I you know, I'm gonna buy this house and I'm gonna work harder for it. Like my stepdad always said to me, like put a little fire under your ass and you can do anything. Like get a bill, owe a bill. Yeah. Get you're gonna pay it. Speaker 1: one boss tell that he goes you want good when you start your business, you want good employees, find people with more shit. That like fucking hit home. was like, that's crazy. Speaker 2: And I'm like, holy sht. A hundred percent. Like I know the people that work for me need the money. Yeah. I know that they're hungry. I know that some of them have kids. I know that, you know, my operations manager has a mortgage to pay. Like I know and they're gonna be there for me a hundred percent. But if you want something, like go get it. Like there's no limitation on what you could do. I love Speaker 1: have that mindset because I feel like so many business owners go out there and portray this like luxury lifestyle. But the way you explain it is like sure people would look at like a cleaner and a house manager as a luxury. Yeah. But the way you explain it, which I always hope like my employees understand I portray it this way where it's like I'm doing it to better the business. Like you got a house manager so you can work harder and you can be more dialed into the business. You're not stressing while you're in the office. Speaker 2: Hundred percent. Speaker 1: If one of your girls has a million dollar deal on the table and you're stressed out that your house has this your head's not straight to give them the best answer to help their business. No I find well, I never hope employees look at it like this, but like I do try to do passion projects like my podcast. But I'm really trying to build a personal brand. So when people do bring me into their house for a quote, they're like Speaker 2: To be clean and there's no groceries. They trust you. Speaker 1: Do you trust me? I've actually had clients come to me and like one client was like talking to his wife and he does follow me personally and he's like and she's like, Well, we got this timeline and I go I will meet your timeline and the husband actually turned around and it's like this guy's like writing a book, he's wants to start a podcast, he's personal Brandy. I follow him, he's at the gym every morning at five eight But it's also if he says he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it because he has that proof of concept. Yeah, right. So like it's cool that with the Femme group like you guys can get vulnerable about stuff like that and put it out there because I feel like us as business owners we don't really have many Speaker 2: Feel like they know you. Yep. Speaker 1: Let's like input, input, input. Speaker 2: Same with men. I think that's a huge thing that doesn't get talked about. And like I'm all like her group, femme social, like I love women, I love women in business. I was raised by a single mom at 18. So like that's why I am the way that I am. But I think that men in business and like my husband too, like I was telling you, like all of his customers are trades guys, like most of them are like the backbone of the family. They're out there Roofers and plumbers and they're working twelve hour days to provide for their wives that are at home with the babies and like they don't have anybody to talk to. Like they don't talk you don't talk to each other about the struggles. It doesn't work. No. Speaker 1: It doesn't I've tried to be in those men's groups and this was I was gonna t touch on next is like in those men's group it's either guys are completely vulnerable or it's like there's no way to help you because you're past that broken you need to help yourself or it's a lot of chest it's a liar or there's a lot of chest beating. Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean? And I I I'm not like that. Like means if you want to go toe to toe, I'll blow you the water every day. If you come to me and say, AJ, I'm doing this and you're not and I'm like, Give me a month and I I guarantee you I'll be Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not as like I need help, right? Women I find in the group, which is new, I would say, because at the beginning, like I said, people were like advocate like bigging themselves up in the group, and then finally we started to ask questions that were like vulnerable, like, so have you ever had like somebody make you feel whatever, right? And then people would and people would tear up and be like, you know, I I didn't even want to come tonight because my husband and I just got into it before we got here and he didn't want to watch the baby. Like, so we're honest about these things now. And I feel like it helps. Like it's like get people you can rely on to to actually help you versus like here's what you can do to get more business. Like it's like yeah, we can chat GBT that. Right? Speaker 1: Exactly, yeah. ⁓ but with the women only and I always wanna ask women groups only because I think women do phenomenal business. I I was actually just talking I think it was with my wife and I'm like, What do you think of this quote? I go, Women are born with value, men have to build it. Mm-hmm. Because it's true. Like women are born, like you guys have value right. But you know what I mean, right out of the gate. Speaker 2: Intuition and empathy, yeah. Speaker 1: Us we're men, we're older. Like you know what mean? Like we had to build credibility, we had to build value, we had to build a standard, we had to build, you know, trust, respect, like strength, like we had to build all that. Women are just bit like built with value. Right off so but I see a lot of these like women groups, right? And I always ask, like, why only women? I do not see men in industries like real estate or like obviously I wouldn't be able to bring and nothing against the trades, but I wouldn't be able to bring an underground plumber. Yeah. into a femme group there full of real estate agents. Like it just doesn't drive. Yeah. But like mortgage brokers, let's talk about real estate agents. Let's talk about ⁓ consultants. Let's talk about ⁓ you know like administrative professionals. Do you not feel like they have a spot to fit to become vulnerable in groups because I find there's a lot of like only groups or the groups but if there is a mixed one, there's no vulnerability Speaker 2: Hundred percent. Yeah. Men only groups that are Those Speaker 1: Groups because it it's all business. Yeah, it's all business, business, business. But the women groups and men groups there's more vulnerability. And is that because the sexes are split that you can have a mixed one where it kinda works? Speaker 2: You believe. I feel like men are not honest in those situations. I think that's the biggest thing. Like I think I wish they were. I wish they were. I think as a man, you don't want to be, and as a father and a husband, I think maybe single men would be more open to having these conversations, but I think as a husband and a father, there's so much expectation put on the man to be the pillar in the family and the pillar in the business and the So they don't ever want to say like this is really hard, or like the expectations my family puts on me are really hard. So I find like I've done a lot of groups that are mixed, and they're not like the femme social groups, but I do like business networking things. Some of my closest buddies are trades guys. Like I get along the best with like my roof or friend Cameron. Like we have the best conversations and we relate a lot because we run businesses. But do I think they would be as vulnerable? No. And I think women don't feel as comfortable. Sharing how they feel in a room of men 'cause they think they're gonna be judged, even though they're not. Like it's it's hard. It's a tough you have to get the right people, mate. Yeah. Speaker 1: See, I feel like could I be in a group like that? A hundred percent. Yeah. I think like I'm good with people opening up, I'm good with people going through seasons. I think my biggest problem would be like say I'm in a group, ten men, ten women and the men became vulnerable. I think naturally because of my position with my company, what what I built, I'm a Speaker 2: fixer. Yeah, like let me tell you what to do. That's how I am. Like Speaker 1: I'm a fix. So like I would never get a chance to come out with my problems because I'd be like, there's nineteen other problems in this room, I gotta solve those first things I can deal with and that's I find is a problem for me getting into these groups. I find I'm never asking for help because I'm always trying to fix something. But in turn I find when I'm helping someone fix something, I don't know if you're because you said you're like that, I almost find out something about myself. So I've learned like well if I keep bringing value and fixing things for people, I fix my own problem. Speaker 2: No, I am. ⁓ for sure. That's how I feel with the team, right? For sure. Absolutely. Speaker 1: ⁓ and then let's get into manifestation. Mm-hmm. How'd you get into it? I'm a journaler. I'm not a manifester. I'm a journal Speaker 2: You know, I never was a manifester or a journaler. Is that a word? Manifest. A manifester. Manifester. I never manifested. I mean, I guess I did. I'm a vision board person, so I always do my vision boards every year. This year, and I and I look back on them, and it's funny because I have this like big frame and I have them all stacked from like the last six years. So when I do one, I always look at all of them. And I remember like there was a pregnant girl on one, and like I'm gonna get engaged, and I and like I'm gonna buy a house and all those things, and I get so proud of them. I look at it every day. It's like in my office right in front of me. But I'm like a if I say I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. If you tell me I can't do it, it's gonna be even bigger. So to manifest for me is like, what's the life I want and how quickly can I get there? Cause I don't wanna waste time not having it. So like how quickly can I get this waterfront office? What do I have to do to get this to happen? So I see, yeah. It's more like It's more like have a vision and then get it going versus like I'm gonna dream about it and pray that it happens. Like, I don't know. I'm not I'm not a pray Yeah. I'm like I'm doing it. Like I'm Speaker 1: No, I ⁓ yeah, no I I'm not looking at manifestation as something as like it's the next step in the road. Like either way you're on the road, you can't drive off the road, there's nowhere to go. Yeah, you're gonna get to that checkpoint, just when am I gonna get there? Speaker 2: Like a goal, I guess. 100%. It's like a timeline goal, kind of like a okay, I want this office done. Like I was telling you about my office. Like I need my girls to be settled first and then I'll worry about my office because I'll work right here. Like I don't care. I think it's more just like, what's the goal? Okay, now I've reached the goal. And my thing is is I always have like 30 goals beyond that goal. Like there's never I've never made it. Like I'm like, I've never made it ever. I never will till the day I die. It's always gonna be bigger. So like manifesting for me is like, you know, getting Norma to look at this view every day, that was my goal. Cause she was in an office with no windows before and I'm like, I'm not having my best friend of twenty five years live like that in this industry. So yeah, it's more like happiness, like manifest the happiness, the life you want, and then how do we do it, right? Speaker 1: I think that's why I stay away from manifesting and like threw in our videographers game with thumbs up in front the camera because we were just talking about that and you touched on it. And he was saying, like, when you get to it, like when you think of a goal, like, how do you get to that point where you're like, I'm like, I'm gonna do it or I'm gonna accomplish it? I'm like, I don't have No, I'm just like I'm doing it. Yeah, I just gonna do it. Like I have to do it now, right? And it snowballs to this, like. Speaker 2: I don't have it either. I'm just doing it. Speaker 1: reputation, I'm sure you portray this to your team, is like eventually become that person. So now like when people reach out to me, like at my sauna talk. I literally have people I I went away camping, I had messages saying, Bro, where's the sauna talk? I'm like, I'm in a fucking bush, I have a sauna. Like I can't, right? And I went out golfing. I'm like, you know what, I gotta do a talk. Like just to show people Speaker 2: Yeah. People like consistency. Yeah. They like to see other people it's why we're influenced. Like that's why social media is such a big thing. Like we like to see other people doing things that we like to do. It can be negative, but it's also like, you know, it can be it can be a positive thing too to make an impact on people. Speaker 1: And that honestly a lot of the personal branding is what I'm trying to do. Like you cause impact. Like ⁓ we were when we were talking, he's like, like, I kind of look at you as like my mentor. Yeah. Because I hope that's okay. And I'm like, okay, one, it's not something you ask about, but two, it's also like I want that. That's why I'm personal branding. Like the personal branding is built because it's a passion of mine. I didn't have a mentor. I ate shit so many times I didn't have to. Yeah. I started putting myself in rooms around people that were doing more than I wanted to do, but doing what I wanted to do. And I'm like, I wish they were here two years ago. I wish you were here three years ago. Like I'm like, Well if I didn't have that, I wanna become that person for other people. Right. And it seems like building this team, giving the views to your team and Speaker 2: I'm trying to give every opportunity possible. Like, I think for me, like, what is wealth and what is happiness and what is this stuff if the people that you're with don't have it with you? Like, I think, you know, if I can take my girlfriends out for a nice dinner, I'm doing it. Like, if I, you know, if I can Yeah, like I want to take care of people. That like I am built and I was born to take care of people. That's just how I am. Some people aren't like that. I'm a giver. I want people to have what I have all the time. Speaker 1: Competition stage. It's like Speaker 2: I think that's a big thing for my team too and they know that. Like if I have it, you'll have it too. So that's it's super important. Speaker 1: Alright, so one more thing, we're gonna talk on the era stage. Mm-hmm. And you're saying it's the best era of your life. First off, have you ever said that during another era? Speaker 2: No. No. Never. This is like a new Speaker 1: Always knew like this is not it, this is not gonna be the best. This is Speaker 2: I have yeah, the last the last four years I would say, well, let's take away this last year. The four years before that were the most stressful, anxious, ⁓ my goodness, times of my life, like getting married, buying houses, running teams, like doing things like that. Now I'm in a spot of motherhood and my marriage and my team and like it just I feel free a little bit. I think it's like freeing for the first time ever. I like have a really good life coach and I chat with her a lot and I'm like and she always says like well what do you want and I'm like I just want contentment like I want to feel content because for me as a person I never feel content. I'm always like, okay, I got the team, I got the office, I got this, now I need the next thing. Like I want moments of content. Speaker 1: Everyone has it. Like it's like when I get to this point I need the message. Speaker 2: I need the next one. I need a next And I was like, I need to and my husband struggles with this too, like where it's like, we need a new car or we need a new thing or we need a new renovation or like we're always which I think is good and it makes us who we are. But I really, really tried this year to be like, I want to be sitting here on the floor and playing blocks. I don't want to be checking my email and keeping my son distracted and blah blah blah. Like I really want to be present in the moments I'm in. And I I've done it now. Like I know how to do it. I know how to shut off. I know who's important and who's not. I know how to how to make my time with the team feel good. I know how to bring them snacks and lunch and like make people actually feel valued where where I was in my life for the last eight years, I didn't feel that way. So built it. Like it's Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1: right resources for that too. The tools for for that. But the era before this, what did that look like? If that if this is the best like before this, was this like the one before this era? Was this I consciously know the next era I'm in is gonna be the best, so I need to build what I need to just kind of like I don't even know I'm in an era. Speaker 2: Yeah, I was I didn't know no, I knew at the end of it that I was in a really bad like from the outside it looked so good. It looked like I was building this amazing career and this amazing life and having a beautiful wedding and like all these things, but I was not happy. Like I was like drinking too much wine, feeling stressed out all the time, anxious, like you know, just not feeling myself at all, not working out, like I'm an avid I love to do Pilates, I love to do spin, like though I wasn't doing any of that. I was Just living in this vicious cycle of working 24-7, like letting everybody's problems become my own, being somewhere that I didn't feel like I belonged, I couldn't be myself. So I knew at the end like I better change something. Like something has to happen here because I was so unhappy. And it was like, how could you be unhappy with this life? Like it it's too hard to to live like this. So I just made a conscious decision. Like I need to figure it out. Like Speaker 1: Now people listening, because I do want people to get value out of this. I don't want just two of us talking. Like if you someone just listened to you and said, Holy shit, like I feel like I'm going through that. Like, what was something you had to turn on or turn off to get you through that phase? Because someone's I want someone to relate to this. And even if you take sound bites out of it, I want one of your followers to look it and kind of say, like, I feel like that. Now she's in her best era. What was the switch? Was it like or was it just something that Speaker 2: I mean and I want It was a long haul, but I think I I changed my mindset. Like I was like, what's gonna make me happy? What so I went back to like, okay, what did I what do I like to do that's not selling real estate? Like, what do I like to do outside of taking phone calls, having listing appointments and having deals? 'Cause that's what I love to do. And like my husband laughs a lot. He's like, You have no hobbies. I'm like, No Speaker 1: That so did you feel like at in the worst era or the bad era, your real estate business it was amazing, but it became who Speaker 2: It was amazing. It was who I was. Yeah, who you were. I had nothing else. Okay, yeah. That's I literally had nothing else. All I was was a shell of me and the best realtor ever. Yeah. That's it. And that looks amazing. And I was getting clients and deals. I told you I had my best year ever when I was pregnant. Because I thought no one's ever gonna hire someone that has a baby. Yeah. That was my thought. So I became a shell of myself. I didn't work out, I didn't do anything I like to do. Speaker 1: Like that. Speaker 2: And I'm like, hey, I I what the hell is this? Like this isn't me. I didn't go out with my girlfriends. Like I was not social at all. So then I was like, okay, I need to I I did therapy. I like had a life coach. I did all the things that were gonna take me out of it. I had antidepressants, I went through everything, and I was like, all this shit is bullshit. First of all, I gotta figure out myself here and like what what can I I loved myself before. So like what has to happen here? I used to work out, I used to do spin every day, I used to Go out with my family. I would see my brother. Like my brother's my best friend. Like now I'm gonna get emotional. Speaker 1: This is a second or third person's gotta dial into it. Like be as Speaker 2: ⁓ my goodness. Yeah, like I was missing my family so much and like my best friends, like so I I made a list. I remember I had like a note on my phone, like all the things that I really loved, and I was like, fuck it, I'm doing them all. I'm doing everything. I'm taking the time every day after school with my son. I'm going paddle boarding with my husband. Like we're doing all those things again. And then my business went from like here to here. Like it was like Yeah, I it skyrocketed when I finally was like, I'm taking myself out of places that are draining me and I'm gonna focus on, you know, I get deals from the gym now. I get deal like that's where my business comes from is when I'm the happiest. So I just, yeah, I had to like really dial it. Speaker 1: You can do when you're not looking for it. Yeah. And like the way things pan out. What literally that's how me and Anna met. She came up to and like we knew each other through social media. She's like, Are you the AC custom guy? I'm like, Well, I'm AJ, but I can be him too. Like you know what I It's kinda like it's like that. So it's cool that you can do that. And like it's nice that someone listening is gonna look at that and kind of say, I'm in a really shitty low spot and all I have to do is make a list and say, I'm gonna do my fucking list. Speaker 2: I got like a paint by numbers from Michaels and I would do that every night. Like stupid stuff that's like, I honestly I think it was my husband saying to me, like, what are your hobbies? Like, do you have because he's a hobbyist. Yeah, yeah. He loves everything. I'm like, I don't know what I like to do. Like, I I watch my housewives and I like whatever. He's like, that's not a hobby. I love to play tennis. Like, those are things I like to do. So I was like, okay, what do I even like to do? Like, maybe I I'm not a You know, I'm not a hobbyist, but there's things that make me happy that are not real estate. So I just wrote them down and I'm like, I'm gonna do and I'm gonna try new things. Like, I don't know. Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna touch on. Would you suggest to someone now that you've gone through and it seems like you're thriving, even if they don't have a whole list of hobbies or things they like to do, would you suggest to them try new things? Do even if it's something you wouldn't even do, like Speaker 2: Yeah, we have Yeah, like Liz, my agent, my f my such a good friend of mine, but an agent on my team, she's like, I signed us up for tennis lessons. I'm like, What? She's like, We're going to do tennis every Monday at eight o'clock. I'm like, Okay. So now we do that and it's fun. And like her and I connect outside of work. Yeah. We are so shit at it, but it's so funny. Like we've met other people, like, so things like that and we didn't want to do it. We were like, ⁓ my god, fuck this. But like we went and it was so fun. Like So things like that or yeah, step outside of your comfort zone and like do things. Like my operations manager Norma's doing Zumba Monday nights with her mom and I'm like it's so funny, but like it's she loves it and I'm like, that's what I love her to do those things. Cause I'm like, you can't just do this all the time. Like this sucks all the time. Like you have to like we need some happiness, right? Speaker 1: Yeah, so w we talked a lot about real estate. We talked about marriage and stuff. I love how we're getting into the personal branding. Or personal development because that's what I'm trying to do right now. It's a lot of personal development. I'm fortunate enough that I can take a day off to do content. And I think everyone needs it. Like literally, if you're like out there trying to get better at something, you're trying to like develop yourself, you're in a low, your marriage is on the rocks, your career is falling apart, your business is in cramp or s ⁓ Is crumbling down. Like personal development is the key to it. And I generally believe that is the starter block of anything that's gonna become successful. Even my business, I felt like felt like it thrived once I started concentrating on myself. And sure, I'm taking away from time with my employees, I'm taking away time from like the business itself. But when I'm there, like I could probably make three times the better decisions in half the time than I did when I was stressed out, not feeling good about myself. Yeah. Not doing it. Speaker 2: You have to take time to work on the business, not in the business. So I think that's really important as a business owner. Like when you have s lulls, like slow times are like, you know, you don't have for me, like if I don't have showings or I don't have like in person things, I'm like, okay, I have to work on the business now, not in it. Yeah. Right? So I separate that a lot, but what sometimes I feel like I feel unmotivated a lot. Like I'm a self motivator. I'm like a podcaster. I'm a I'm signing up for courses. I'm doing things like that to keep myself busy. But I've found many times like realtors especially or like people in my type of industry, they get themselves so secluded. They're by themselves at home, like working from home. I don't know what they're doing, but you you have to like sign up for things, read a book. Like I'm a big advocate of like invest in yourself. Like you are the business. So if you're not smart enough, if you're not educated enough, if you can't represent your license, like these are things you should be working on, right? So That that's like self motivating, I think, is the biggest thing when you're in those down times. Like get up. Don't sit there. Speaker 1: And I think when you said write down that list it really resonates with that because it's like I have a lot of people that I talk to and they're like, I don't even know where to start. You know I'm and I tell them like, you know, educate yourself, you know. That's it. Think something that's self-taught, pick up a new hobby. And like, what do I do? And I'm You're you're right. Just make a list. Speaker 2: Don't know where to start. Do a deep dive. Also though, like, you know, I think there's so many people that get caught in the like I don't know, like the rut. Like they're stuck in the rut and it's like you are your you're the only person getting yourself out of it. Like, you know, when I was in that like deep I wouldn't call it a depression. I think it was just an anxiety loop of like anxiety. Like I was still living. I was to the everybody else, I was living the best life. Like I wasn't sitting at home, like in my bed. I was getting up but living through this like panic, freak out, heart racing 24-7. And like my husband said to me, like, you're the only one gonna get yourself out of this. So snap out of it. Like get yourself out of it. And I was like, You're so mean. But like he was so true. Like, nobody's getting me out of it. There's no pill, there's no doctor, there's like get up. Like, so I think that was that was huge for me. Like, I'm gonna change this. Speaker 1: So getting through that phase now, I'd like to ask two last questions. Is one, now that you're in the best area of your life, marriage is good, kids are good, home's good, your team's built, you have your office. Like, if you got to sit across from yourself and you really want to be honest with yourself, what's one question you'd ask yourself? Very simple, quick, one-liner, like. Speaker 2: What makes you happy? Love it. Yeah, like what makes you happy? Because I didn't know for a long time. Speaker 1: Last question is we've gone through this episode, we touched on everything. I think it was an awesome episode. I fucking loved it. That was really cool. and I feel like we resonate a lot on a lot of topics. But when we post this one, what do you want to name this episode? Speaker 2: Hmm. I think something to do with like authentic, like like being authentic, like you know, finding your authentic self, like finding out who you are. 'Cause I just finally feel like I know who I am now or like what my purpose is. I think that's I was Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gone that up, but I like that. Yeah, that's awesome. Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's purpose and and being authentic and yeah. I think it it if you're authentic, you're gonna attract the bright people that are for you. Yeah. That that's just it. Like I'm a mum. I I can't you know, and I laugh with my friends all the time. I'm like, I can't hide my son, like unfortunately either. So I can't go to dinner at six 'cause I got this guy. Like he's not going anywhere. So same with my clients. I'm like, no, I can't go out with you at eight o'clock at night. Like Maybe once in a while, but that's my life. Like this is the life I build and chose, right? This wasn't an accident. So I'm like, this is it, right? Yeah. Speaker 1: So your turn to give yourself a plug. Anything you wanna put out there autos, socials, websites, get a hold of you, what you're looking for next in business. Totally. ⁓ Speaker 2: I didn't think about that. You know what? Well, you can find us on social media, her group real estate, ⁓ or Taylor Tom's Realtor. That's where we have everything posting about, you know, all things buying, selling, renting, things like that. The biggest thing is like join our femme social groups. If you're a female entrepreneur and you're looking for connection, reach out to us. We're always looking for more people. ⁓ in terms of real estate, you know, we work with everybody. So anywhere an hour and a half from the GTA and Simcoe. That's where we service and come check out our new office. Hopefully we can get some clips and share a little bit about it with you guys. But I'm I'm so appreciative for you having me here and it's yeah, it was amazing. Speaker 1: Love that you shared your space and you know, congratulations on the whole office. Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's cool to have people coming to check it out. You're our first guest, so Speaker 1: Go, yeah. First guest. ⁓ forget the noise podcast, another episode. It is gonna be authentic, it's gonna be true. We're gonna keep the episodes rolling like this. We're loving the guests we're having on. We appreciate everyone listening. We appreciate you for coming on today. Thank you for becoming vulnerable, opening up with us. That's what we're looking for. It looks like glam all over social media, but trust me, there's struggles, there's hardship, there's ups, there's downs, there's different seasons, there's bad eras, and there's the best eras people's lives. Get to know people, reach out to them, connect with our guests. They'd love to hear from you and give us your feedback on the episode. And until next week, get the noise podcast, AG CapT.