Latest / Cash Confident with Brie Sodano / Embracing Pleasure for Financial Well-Being with Sex Coach Shannon

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Embracing Pleasure for Financial Well-Being with Sex Coach Shannon · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident Podcast.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: If you're a woman ready to take charge of your finances and create a life of abundance and exponential wealth, you've found the right place.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your host, known to my clients as the Queen Maker.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Get ready to dive into a world of money management, mindset and manifestation.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Brice Deno here coming to you with the Cash Confident Podcast, and today we have the best guest ever.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: You're going to love her to bits.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: This is one of my clients, one of my dear friends, a woman who has taught me so much.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Her name is Sex Coach Shannon, officially known as the queen of the sex nerds.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: She is a certified sex and orgasm coach from New Orleans and she is a pure delight.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And so today we're going to be talking about how pleasure really plays out in a full life.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Wealth like well-being, and we're basically just going to give you permission to enjoy, just enjoy, and you're going to hear all the juicy tidbits.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: So, sex Coach Shannon, tell us a little bit about you.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: How did you get into your work?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: First, thank you for that amazing intro.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Ooh, you're making me blush a little bit.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so the journey for me started really early.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I was that kid who lived at the library and I wanted to read all the books about things they weren't teaching us in school and sex was a thing they weren't teaching us about in school and so I read all those books and then I became the kid who knew all the things, and so I've been the friend who people go to.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Bless you.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: They'll edit.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, go back a second.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Sorry, there may be one more.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Good, I think so.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: All right, all right.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: And so I've been the friend who people go to for sex advice or insights for pretty much like almost my entire life, since as early as I could read, and for a long time that was just the friend that I was, and at some point I discovered that sex coaching is a career that people do and I was like that sounds way more fun than what I'm doing for work.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I'd like to do that, so I went ahead and pursued that, and here I am.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I've been in business for four years now and it's been an absolute delight.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Ah, so good.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love stories of women doing whatever they want for their work.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Right, that's like my favorite.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Like everything I love, when women do everything they want to do and nothing they don't.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: That's the goal, that's the dream, right?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent, oh, so let's just get into it how I?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: That's the dream right A hundred percent?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, so let's just get into it how.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like wondering what's the best question to start with.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: But tell us, why is pleasure so important?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Like why does it matter?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Why would anybody hire a coach to have more pleasure?
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Like why is it?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh Like why wouldn't you?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I know, but I but obviously the reason my job exists is because for me and my experience moving through the world and the things I've experienced like women in particular have a hard time opening up to pleasure, accepting it, feeling good about accepting it, asking for it, defining what pleasure looks like for them, like we just have a complicated relationship with pleasure and there's so many reasons for that.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: There's all these kind of stories around.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's a little bit like selfish to want to experience pleasure, or needy, or makes you seem like someone who there's also like a lot of shame in some circles attached to pleasure and especially sex, and so, yeah, so taking some time to intentionally sit with that and go oh, there's this whole world full of pleasure opportunities.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: One of them is sex.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: There's also many other opportunities for pleasure too, like being able to spend lots of money on flights to places you want to visit.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: That's a pleasure, yeah.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I'm here for that.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: The same.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, so acknowledging that a lot of people, a lot of us, are in this world where there are a lot of things that are not pleasurable.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: There are a lot of people, a lot of us are in this world where there are a lot of things that are not pleasurable.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: There are a lot of, like, uncomfortable, even painful things.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Pleasure is important for just balancing that.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: You're not even necessarily needing to go above and beyond and go wild and way out there with your pleasure.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: You can even just use pleasure to balance discomforts and the pains if it feels like too much to go to, to go like really super far and ask for a lot.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and what I find too in my work, which is around money.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So this is listen, the connection between sex and money is so juicy and where a lot of the hangups that culturally and just for people, just whatever we have around sex, a lot of the times there's something really mirrored in there in money.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: And so one of the things I noticed too is women who have a really low capacity for pleasure are usually really disconnected from their desires.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: And the thing about desire that's so magical for making more money is like when you're on the path of the truth, of like really what your heart wants.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: That's the place where all the co-creation exists, that's the place where the universe just puts the right people to introduce, where the opportunities are just there, where the money just flows, and it's like when we're off of that.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it can really feel like a lot of hustle and grind and push and strive and struggle, but it's so knowing.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like pleasure and desire is that internal feedback loop.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's so amazing how, as you say that I know you're speaking from a place of, you're talking about money and what you desire to do with your money.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Every word you just said also like you could say the same exact thing for sex, where a lot of my clients are disconnected from desire.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: They'll say I don't, I'm not even sure what I want, honestly, like I know I want my sex to be more pleasurable, or I know I want to orgasm, or I want to orgasm more or feel bigger ones.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: And as we do our work, I'm like, ok, a lot of enhancing orgasm is mental, and so what is it that really turns you on and gets you going?
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And they'll have maybe a couple of things oh, my husband turns me on, or, like, a good erotic novel turns me on.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: But they don't really have an internal sense of me.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: I am really into X, y or Z, and a lot of people are scared to dig into that, because what if they find an X, Y or Z that they're, like, not supposed to have?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: And what if they're deviant?
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: What if what they want is bad?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: And I'm going to tell you, like, if what you want doesn't hurt anyone, it's just it might be different, but it's not bad if it doesn't hurt anyone.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And I'll speak from my own experience here.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I did many years of Catholic school, like many years of Catholic school, and even though I don't even know where I'm going with this, other than like, the idea of having my own desires was so weird to me until I was like into adulthood, like I would, I'm about to be 40.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I would even say like, within the last handful of years, the idea that like, oh, some of this isn't wrong and bad and I'm probably not going to burn in hell.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know the whole thing, because it just sits so deep in the subconscious when you learn it from such a really young age.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And so the levels of resistance around pleasure, it just, it's just just.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: For me it took unwinding.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: There was like many layers of unwinding.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just like a thing that I was like oh, I'm just going to be like this super sexy goddess.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: It was like there's a goddess.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Absolutely yes, yeah, and it transforms into so many for different people.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: That same or similar experience.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I did a little bit of Catholic school, not a lot of it.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: It wasn't something my family like super, super made us like do a lot of, but we did some of it.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: So the influence is definitely there and even outside of that, our American culture is very influenced by Christian ideas and so we all get little tastes of it, no matter whether we're going to church or not.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: And that experience turns into things like who am I to ask for pleasure?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Who am I to ask for what I want in the bedroom?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Who am I to even have wants in the bedroom?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: My job is just to show up for my partner and their pleasures, the important thing I got to keep them happy, and things like that, and feeling guilty about maybe you do have an idea of what kind of pleasures you want and you're like, oh, I'm not supposed to ask for that, that's selfish, that's asking a lot.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that also comes up in people's money all the time.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: People are afraid to ask for raises, afraid to ask for like working accommodations, flexibility, afraid to.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll even have clients who own their own businesses, who are very successful, and they will be like feeling so guilty about working odd hours, like they're like I didn't work from nine to five today and I'm like, yeah, which?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: is interesting because when I started also when I started my own thing I would go to my office from nine to five and I was like that's so weird, I play.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I would be like watching cat videos in my office the last hour of the day and I was like I could just go home, Nobody's.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: The same sort of thing is where it's if you're afraid to ask for what you want in your bedroom.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Asking for what you want.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I myself obviously have always been very sexually open because I was reading the books at an early age and always talking about it.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: But obviously I started working with you for a reason, right, I had money blocks that I wanted to break through, so I didn't have any pleasure blocks.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I love me.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, let me open this door and once I let that understanding start working its way into my work with clients, almost every client I've had since starting to work with you has either started her own business or switched to a better paying job with people that respected her more or like already had a business that was like part-time and it was me.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: And by really leaning into her pleasure and really defining what she wants in the bedroom, it got really easy, really clear to see what she wanted out of the bedroom and she was like, oh, this is what I want, I want my business to be full-time and I want to quit this job.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: And she did it and she's doing great because she's just charged up and leaning into pleasure every step of every day.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It's amazing how much connection there is there.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that makes me feel so happy.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I love that and I will, and we could talk about this too.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: What I also notice is people's capacity for money really has a huge amount to do with how much intensity, like feelings of intensity, that they can hold in their body.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: So much of the work that I do with my clients is around I call it emotional range, but it's the ability to be with really intense sensations and be okay.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: If you're making a sales call, you might get a rejection sandwich, or if you're putting a big launch out there, you might face a disappointment or something super delicious, like something going viral and a zillion people finding out Although actually that's also super, super intense and so-.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: One of the things that I love that you talk about is just like there's a connection there.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Let's uncover it, let's talk about it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I completely agree.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: I mentioned your concept of emotional range to someone yesterday I was talking to.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I said I was like I already knew that I was capable of intense emotions, and then stepping into this territory of admitting that I had money blocks was itself an intense emotion.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Right, and the work of unpacking where all that came from and what moving forward looks like.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: It's been an intensely emotional journey the whole way.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: But for a lot of my clients who are trying to get more comfortable with pleasure but are feeling very intensely about oh, but what if this, but what if?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: But what is it?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Because it's so hard to imagine getting rejected if you share what you really want with a partner.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: For example, you're like this is what I really want, and what if your partner thinks that's weird?
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: What if your partner doesn't want to do it too?
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: What if it scares them or like really turns them off and changes the way they see you?
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: There's all these really big emotions around that, right, and so some of what I'll do is I'll go okay, we're going to do itty bitty, baby steps, we're going to take it one little step at a time and we're going to make a plan in advance for failure.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: What is I like to call it.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: In the sex ed community we call it aftercare.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: When you do an intense sexy thing with someone, you can plan ahead of time.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: What are we going to do after this experience to make sure that we both feel safe, cared for, loved, respected.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: If things went in an unexpected direction, what's our aftercare plan for that?
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: So I make an aftercare plan with my clients.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: You're going to make a small ask.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: You're not going to ask maybe for the entire thing you want immediately.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: We're going to test it out.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: We're going to tiptoe in, make a small ask in that direction and let's make an aftercare plan for what happens if your partner says no, that's yeah, all right, that's real good and that's.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: I love the parallels because sometimes when I'm working with people on like sales or something they're like so afraid that they're going to be rejected.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: And if you're doing sales like it's, you are like it's happening.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: There's no nobody's closing 100 percent of their sales.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sure some people, I'm sure it's happened for people but you've eaten a rejection sandwich along the way.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's if when you can be with that sensation in your body, it moves so quickly.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: But when you're unwilling to experience something, it bothers you for it, and so I'm going to just equate this to sales real quick.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: But it's when, a couple of years ago, I was really working on like increasing my sales and making more money and being bigger and doing all this work and I was so afraid to feel rejection that if somebody rejected me on a sales call, like if I would want to take it personal, I would feel personally rejected, which is like its own little mental bag of crap.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: But what I would do is I would mentally bicker with this person for like days, maybe weeks, because the rejection would be right there for me to be with and experience.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: But I would be so against being like letting that rejection move through me that I would just like waste so much energy in there.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And once I was like, all right, let's just practice feeling rejected.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: What I notice is like, when I feel rejected, it's just practice feeling rejected.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: What I noticed is like, when I feel rejected, it like it hits me in the belly.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I'll feel like I'm tightening like a little clamp.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: It flushes up against my chest, my face, like again, like flushes hot, and within like less than two minutes that rejection is done and I'm like ready to carry on with my day.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: And so I love that you're saying this, because the fear I'm sure that the fear, especially when you're like it's not just like a sales conversation you're putting at risk, but it's like your relationship, your core and most intimate relationships that level of intensity is just super vulnerable and intimate for people and that's I love that.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: You said that you put together like a whole plan of like aftercare for that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really how we stretch our capacity, because it's just because you ask for something doesn't mean that like it's guaranteed to happen.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Or it's guaranteed to happen that time, like every time we want to grow and expand, like failure is on the table, like that chip is on the table, and it's easier to take bigger leaps with sex and money if you know that there's a safe maybe not a comfortable, but a safe landing pad on the other side if it goes wrong so having being able to take a financial risk, you're going to be able to take a bigger financial risk if you know that if all goes wrong, it'll suck but you're not going to be completely ruined and in a really bad spot.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: So the same with sex knowing that there's a safe maybe not great, maybe not ideal landing spot on the other side where it's not devastating, devastating to your relationship, where you're going to be able to come back together, makes it easier to take bigger, like sexual, out of comfort zone steps, yes, and I think the ability to hold oneself like, the ability like self-soothe and take care of yourself and relax, relax your own nervous system, is something that we need in pursuing any flavor of success, whether or not it's like financial success, sexual success, like whatever it is we're going for.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I think once you've got yourself, you have so much more freedom to take risk, like once you're like yeah, if I eat this rejection sandwich, it's not going to be the first, it won't be the last, I'll be all right.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: And I like, basically I could take care of myself, like I could hold myself through this.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely myself, like I could hold myself through this.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely I.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: So much of my work is sharing sensual self-soothing and sensual self-care techniques, so much so that one of my more popular resources that I give out is my sensual activation guide, which, if you get the seven day version, it just gives you a five minute activity to do every day seven days in a row.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: It's just seven different sensual self-care activities that help you decompress from a world that can sometimes be very not sexy and then also help you feel like you're personal, regardless of everyone else, just you as an individual, feel into your individual sensuality and remind yourself that you have it within you to be sensual, feel sensual, do sensual things all on your own, and then you get to bring that to other people if you would like to, or to the world if you would like to, or, as I'm discovering, to your work if you'd like to.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: You don't have to be overtly and appropriately sexual at work to bring your like sensual self to your work can.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Really that can spark a lot of changes in people's work lives.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because to me it sounds also like embodiment, like so many of the women that I talk to are.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: We're in a world that's really hyper over focuses and over values on mass, like the masculine, the doing, the planning, the striving, the thinking, that all the projective behaviors.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Thinking.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: The thinking is so big, a lot of so much thinking we're doing.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I like thinking, like thinking, I love thinking, I love being present with my body yes, and that ability to move out, to get your attention out of your head into your body, is something that's so important in business and in money too, because that's where our intuition is, that's where you're going to get like that like gut feeling, that in that, that guidance and that's where all the power is too is like in the present, like sometimes, when we're in our, when we're in our minds, we're actually not in the present, we're in the future.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: We're in the past, we might be in, but we might be in three places at once.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: We might be having a conversation, bouncing it off of things that have happened in the past and trying to keep an eye on where we're going in the future, and that split energy causes just so much like exhaustion for some people that are overwhelmed, and it's like just learning how to drop into the body is one of those things where that clears itself up.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: You can be in a present moment.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: That's also the secret to orgasm, wow.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: So much struggle with orgasm is the head, is the brain is busy with thoughts of the past or thoughts of other people or thoughts of am I going to come, like future thoughts?
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: And the secret to orgasm is actually just what I call being like radically present with your body and the pleasurable thing it's experiencing, and just really being with that pleasure and experiencing it and noticing it again and again in the present, as the as it unfolds.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: And that's it's hard, I know.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: As I say it, it sounds like people are like how do you do?
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: That is a process.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: That's why orgasm coaching exists, but that is really the secret to it.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah to just to learn to drop into your body.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And I find that even with clients where we're not working on anything quite as intimate, learning to drop into your body does take.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: It does take some practice, especially if you have a lot of old feelings that are just stored there.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: So that just has come up.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: So what are some ways that so let's just say we're blowing somebody's mind right now They've never even considered that pleasure was important for their overall wellbeing, or like it's got anything to do with money, wealth, the capacity for that.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: What are some ways that somebody could just dip their toe into the water of increasing pleasure in their life?
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the easiest way, especially if you're someone who's like super busy and doesn't have a whole lot of time, is to and this is something you do with money as well is to just start noticing and appreciating pleasure throughout your day.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: For example, if you wake up in the morning and you're noticing, oh, I got a really good night's sleep, just notice that for a moment and go.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: My muscles feel relaxed, my body feels really sunk into this bed.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: That's nice, and I know I'm going to have to leave in a moment, but that's future In the present.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Being like really sunk into these pillows and sheets feels really good and the temperature is perfect and my mind feels clear.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: This is delightful.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Ok, now I'm going to get out of bed.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give you all a gift.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I once read in my because I was a nerd who read everything I could read about sex when I was young.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I, early in life, read about.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: There's an orgasmic disorder where people orgasm almost too easily.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: In one woman's case, she couldn't not orgasm when she was brushing her teeth.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: The stimulation of the bristles of the toothbrush on her gums would make her orgasm and it was something.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: It was actually distressing for her because she couldn't not do it because it would distract from her morning routine.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: So she actually started.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: She just switched to a different method of oral care that didn't use toothbrushes, because she was just like I can't keep doing this.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: And so now for me, every time I brush my teeth I get to think about, oh my God, these bristles against my gums for one woman, this ismic, and so things like that, just like noticing sensations, and, if it's, I encourage clients as well if they're, because some people are really, really have a hard time with sensual pleasure because there's so much guilt and shame wrapped around it.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: So things like the scent of your coffee is pleasurable, the beautiful view that you might have either from your home or from your workplace or along your morning commute Enjoy appreciating beautiful views, appreciating oh, I'll play if I'm having a morning where I'm like, oof, I'm not sure if this morning is starting off the way I want, I'll purposefully play some of my favorite songs from like the 90s Because I'm just like, yeah, there we go, that's pleasurable, I like hearing those sounds.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: And so just noticing pleasure throughout your day, or choosing the more pleasurable thing, I at one point decided I no longer listen to the news in the morning.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: It's just not the way I want to start my day, so that's a later in the day thing.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I start my morning with either podcasts that personally titillate and make me feel good and fun.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I like the Dan Savage Lovecast sex advice one that's a really good one, and then yours.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I listen to this podcast all the time because you delight me and then yeah.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: So as your day goes on, sometimes it's easy to get that afternoon slump, noticing I'm feeling great and like looking around for the pleasure.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Ok, I can adjust the seat of my office chair to feel more pleasurable for me, or I could even leave if, maybe, if you work from home, you can leave your office chair and sit on a couch or a bed that feels more comfortable and be like I'm going to do this now.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: It feels more pleasurable for me.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Notice, if you enjoy cooking, noticing the pleasure of cooking that food, smelling it, tasting it I love the pleasure of tasting good food or good drinks and like it moving into the body.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's such a good practice.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to tell everybody a little story.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: So I met a sex coach, shannon.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: We were we I did a retreat for my clients in New Orleans and we were doing a pleasure mapping class with her.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Like I before she worked with me, I hired her to run this whole class and what was funny is that the day before we got there we went out for oysters.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I was with some of the ladies and we went out for oysters in New Orleans.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Now, if you've never been to New Orleans, they are doing things with butter down South that we just do not do up north.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: We just don't do these things with butter.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: So, basically, we went to this restaurant and there's charbroiled oysters and they're like in this hot red butter sauce that's honestly the shrimp.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: The oysters were like a vehicle to get more butter into your face, like they could have put anything into this butter.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: It's pleasure, yes, and I was eating these oysters and I'm like getting like this, like bright red butter all over my face because there's you, it's like seafood, this you gotta like pull it apart and I like get my oyster ready.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: One of my clients like wheezes the lemon like a little drop a lemon.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: She's need one more drop.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, and we're doing this.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, my word, it was so good.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: And my another lady would cross the table was like you're like covered in butter.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, my word, it was so good.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: And another lady would cross the table and was like you're like covered in butter.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like I know, I'll take care of it.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: When I'm like one thing at a time, I'm just going to be covered in butter.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Thank you, yeah.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: And what was so funny was when we were at the pleasure mapping class.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: You know, we're like a day forward.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Well, the clients that were out to do with me were like, dude, like you enjoyed the ever loving shit out of that like seafood, and it was like we're so attracted to watching people in pleasure that it came up like my like disgusting oyster covered like butter sauce face.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: People were like, yeah, that was, you had it, you were having a time, maybe even Wow, and so, anyways, I'm sharing that.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: But when we were in the class, what did you give us?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: You gave us blueberries.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: It's choose between a blueberry or a raisin, yeah.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: And so she gave us this little activity where we like touch the blueberry and smelled it, or a raisin and then you put it in your mouth but you don't eat it just yet.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: And I've eaten blueberries a thousand times, maybe more, in my life and the way that, when you're really focused on it, the amount of like joy that one could extract from a blueberry, I've never really considered.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I've never really considered how much like pleasure there is in a single blueberry.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: But when we were doing this class, I was like, all right, like you touch the blueberry and you're like, oh OK, it's great.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And then you like put it in your mouth and you're waiting for a second and then you eat it, but like you bite into it but you don't chew it just yet and it's like when you're really present with it it expands into something that's so much bigger than just like eating a blueberry.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the oyster story had nothing to do with this.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to paint it did.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Because just eating, feeding ourselves, here's a good.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Why is pleasure important?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: It's the same, it's as important as eating.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: It is feeding yourself, it is feeding your wellbeing, it is fueling you and all the things you do and at it best, it's maintaining you.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Pleasure maintains you.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: The pleasure of eating delicious food and really, really actually tasting each bite and really feeling into the pleasure of it becoming a part of you as it moves into your body.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Right that pleasure is?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: It might not give you like a physical energy the way food does, but it does give you energy.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: It does make your day a lot easier.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: If you notice that pleasure and lean into it, and if you really lean into it and you start moving toward pleasure in an intentional way and start thinking about what do I want, what pleasures do I want in my life, then you can really start to like, increase, increase and move into a life where pleasure more than just balances the discomforts and the pains and the inconveniences and you start to feel like charged up and ready to go.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: And I think when we're in a life that's like a little void of pleasure, everything seems even the best of things seems like a pain in the ass, like I've definitely been in situations where I've been in beautiful landscapes, eating wonderful food, with the sun hitting just right, and having company.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: That's, oh, it's too hot here, and you're like, okay, all right, you're on your way to paradise, and somebody is just so much more willing to be critical with the line.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I feel like when you're really, when there's an adequate amount of pleasure running through your system, to me there's just like a softness and openness, like a patience, a kindness that just also comes through.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: That just also comes through.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Like when we're like so tight and devoid of pleasure, it's like you can eat the exact same thing and one person could have the most awesome experience with a blueberry that there ever was and somebody else is oh yeah, I mean, think about meals you've eaten that you like hardly even remember eating or let alone tasting, like the meals that you just like yep, eating a meal to get through.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to eat or else I'll be grumpy later.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to put food in my mouth and move on, and you like hardly even taste it and there's no joy in it at all.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: And compare that to being like I'm just going to take one extra minute to actually taste my food, and what a better afternoon you're going to have if that's how you approach lunch even if lunch is a granola bar.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Yes'm, I love that totally with you, all right, so that seems like a really easy way to get way more pleasure into the day.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: So it sounds to me just to like really take a moment, be present with it, use all of your senses, like taste, smell, touch, whatever your music was that is there another sense?
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I forgot one.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I'm the worst, it's all right.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, vision like seeing oh yeah, oh yeah, beautiful things.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Aesthetically pretty things, yeah, so that's.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: That seems like a really easy place to get started, because it's really just a little shift in your awareness.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: It's not even like you were going to eat the lunch anyways.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And so then you can start to have more and more pleasure, and that seems really important.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, oh, I love having this talk with you.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Where?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: can people get more Sex Coach Shannon in their lives?
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Where can people find you?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: So my handle is sexcoachshannon on most platforms.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I finally got on TikTok.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I'm on TikTok now, but I'm also on Instagram, facebook.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not as active as I used to be, but I am there and there are links to my website, sexcoachshannoncom.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: There's a resources page there with a lot of resources.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I would say I'm most active on Facebook these days.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: If you're really feeling my stuff, I'm going to try and get more active on TikTok and if you sign up for my email newsletter or download a resource, you will get emails from me with what I'm up to, what I'm doing virtual classes I'm teaching thoughts I'm having.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: That, I think, will be helpful for integrating more pleasure, sensuality and sexuality into your life and feeling more sexy day to day.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, those are some options.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: So people?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Can they sign up for your email list from your resources page?
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, resources page, or even just my website, sexcoachshannoncom.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: All right, so we could go to sexcoachcom, or if you find there on Instagram or on Facebook, it looks, I think the bio link would have the resources and then you can get onto the email list from there.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: So that's super, super wonderful, all right.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Anything else that you want to share with us before we wrap this episode up?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Gosh, I don't know.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: I think just yeah To everyone listening Brie's awesome, brie's amazing, brie's life changing.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: If you're thinking about Brie, you should reach out to Brie.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: I'm just yeah, I'm just 100% like a big Brie fan.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: I'm a Brie Topp fan.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: That's all I've got to say, I think.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, thanks.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I'm a Shannon Topp fan and I'm also a big fan of ladies having delicious lives.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: That's like the main thing Sexy, wealthy lives.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: That's what I want to see a world full of yes, deliciously sexy, wealthy women.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Deliciously sexy wealthy women.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: That's I'm here for that.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I love that, all right.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Actually, I'm going to share with you all.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: So my book is out for pre-order.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: So if you wanted to go to any place that books are sold, you could.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: The name of the book is Cash Confident a practical guide to money management for the modern woman.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I hope I got all those words perfectly correct.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: It'll be very embarrassing if I have my book title wrong, but that's available for pre-order.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: The book actually comes out December 3rd, but you can go and just get your name on the list, so that way it'll be at your door, all right.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: So, shannon, thank you so much for being with us today.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it tremendously.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I love you and everybody.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, I appreciate you and I will talk to you next week.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you, love you, bye.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Cash Confident Podcast.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Remember, knowledge alone isn't enough to build wealth.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: It's what you do with that knowledge that counts, and that's where the Cash Confident community comes in.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Our community is where aspiring wealthy women gather together to master money and mindset and build exponential wealth.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I invite you to join our community where women are cultivating a healthy relationship with money and living the life of their dreams.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Visit wwwcashconfidentcom to learn more.