Latest / The You Project / #1622 The Doctor Scared Me - Harps

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#1622 The Doctor Scared Me - Harps · The You Project

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: A good a team. It's me. Hope you're bloody great,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hope you're enjoying your day. So just a brief you today,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: kind of brief. It's been an interesting day for me.
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  Speaker 1: I wanted to share some thoughts and ideas with you
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: about or around the propensity that we humans have to wait,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: to avoid, to procrastinate, to deny, to delay, to not
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  Speaker 1: address things that we should, to not take ownership of
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: things that we should, despite the fact that if we
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: really open our eyes, I mean literally and also metaphorically
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: open our eyes toward our life and our situation and
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  Speaker 1: our environment. Now outcomes are telling us there's a lot
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: of insight. There's a lot of information to be gleaned,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of wisdom. There's a lot of insight
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  Speaker 1: that we can pay attention to and do something within
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a very practical sense, strategic sense, to make us better,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: to make our life better, to make our relationship or
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: environment or outcomes better. But nonetheless, quite often we wait
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: for the catastrophe, We wait for the wheels, the metaphoric wheels,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: to fall off. And I'm being mildly reflective today because
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I just got off the phone about twenty minutes ago
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  Speaker 1: with the doctor who you may or may not have seen.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I've had some stuff cut off my face in the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: last week. As I record this, it's Thursday, and exactly
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: one week ago, I had two things cut off my face.
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  Speaker 1: Three things were one big, which was an actual little
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: surgical procedure to cut some shit out and make sure
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  Speaker 1: they cleared all the margins and all of that because
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: they were quite sure it was skin cancer, and also
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  Speaker 1: to buy up see two other things, one on my
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  Speaker 1: forehead and one on my forearm. And they've also identified
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: about another eight things which I need to go back
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  Speaker 1: and get checked and not checked, but IOPSID and then
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: probably a procedure or three anyway, So they chopped away
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: at my chin last week, and the pathology came back
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: today the chin and also for the biopsy from the forehead,
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  Speaker 1: and the forum turns out that all three were forms
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  Speaker 1: of skin cancer basil cell carcinoma, which is not obviously
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  Speaker 1: as bad as melanoma, of course, but nonetheless not something
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  Speaker 1: that you want in your body, and can eventually turn
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  Speaker 1: into something quite nasty down the track if left unattended.
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  Speaker 1: And what's interesting for me is I'm generally the guy
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: who likes to think anyway, I was going to pump
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: up my tiyes who likes to think that he is
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: all over everything and switched on and paying attention. Why
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: is he talking in the third person? But I like
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  Speaker 1: to think I'm the guy that looks after my health
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  Speaker 1: and my body and pays attention and pays attention to
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  Speaker 1: my business and my friends and my relationship. And I
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  Speaker 1: think that for the most part, I do. But there's
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  Speaker 1: clearly times when I'm not paying enough attention. There's times
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  Speaker 1: where I'm not really in tune with all of the data.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not really in tune with all of the information.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not really in tune with what I'm being told,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: not told verbally by somebody else. But my results, what
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: my world, what my environment, What my interactions and encounters
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and outcomes are telling me. And you and I are
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: always getting signs. We're always getting signals. We're always getting
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: messages and data and information and downloads. There's always something
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  Speaker 1: to be gleaned from our environment, from our relationships, personal relationships, intimate,
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  Speaker 1: super personal relationships, professional, and those relationships that we know
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to be typically toxic. We're getting download from our body,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: from our emotions, our emotional system from our subconscious mind,
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  Speaker 1: that knowing that we have that deep underlying awareness, that knowledge,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: and sometimes it's more like an instinctive or an intuitive
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: thing like our internal sat nav, to which I often
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: refer that deep knowing that we have that internal whether
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: or not it's emotional or psychological, or some kind of
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: subconscious guidance system or some kind of spiritual sat nav,
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  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I do know
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  Speaker 1: that for me anyway, and most people that I talk to,
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  Speaker 1: there is an awareness, There is a knowing, There is
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  Speaker 1: an urging from something or somewhere deep down pointing us
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  Speaker 1: in a direction or opening a door of awareness about
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  Speaker 1: a thing that we should pay attention to and potentially address.
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  Speaker 1: You know, we're always getting We're always getting feedback from
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  Speaker 1: our peers, and information and data from our social interactions
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  Speaker 1: and experiences, and from even the things that we can
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  Speaker 1: measure and quantify. I can measure my body composition, I
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: can look at my bank account. I can see how
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: many people are listening to my episodes. I can see
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: how many people are connecting with an idea or a
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  Speaker 1: message that I share through my whiteboard like I can
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  Speaker 1: get quantifiable data and measurable results. The challenge with that
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  Speaker 1: for me is not to get sidetracked with how much
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: to people like me and how popular I am, but
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  Speaker 1: rather to have an awareness around what's the data telling me,
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  Speaker 1: who is resonating with, what kind of themes, ideas and messages,
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  Speaker 1: What should I do more of? What should I do
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  Speaker 1: less of? So we're always getting this information that we
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: can do something with your financial situation, and even even
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: the day to day stuff that seems somewhat incidental a
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: look a glance. We don't want to overthink everything. But
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  Speaker 1: at the same time, I feel that many of us
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  Speaker 1: have this real propensity and capacity to be able to wait,
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  Speaker 1: to be able to to unwittingly maybe maybe to wait
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  Speaker 1: until the wheels fall off, the metaphoric wheels fall off,
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  Speaker 1: till till the shit hits the metaphoric fan, till things
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  Speaker 1: get either out of control or almost out of control.
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  Speaker 1: And it dawned on me that I've really waited for
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  Speaker 1: too long. I used to get my skin checked all
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the time I used to get it. I've had a
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  Speaker 1: bunch of things cut off, and there's no excuse, but
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  Speaker 1: I literally have not been back to the skin cancer
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  Speaker 1: clinic where I used to go twice a year. I
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  Speaker 1: haven't been back for four and a half or maybe
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  Speaker 1: five years, and fair to say, it's good that I
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  Speaker 1: went when I went, stupid that I didn't go for
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  Speaker 1: that long, And the same can be said for lots
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  Speaker 1: of other health checks and updates and kind of that
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  Speaker 1: we can make. You know, our body is always talking
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  Speaker 1: to us. Our body is its own form of wisdom.
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  Speaker 1: You know. The subconscious mind is wise. The subconscious mind
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  Speaker 1: is I believe, always knowing and prompting and urging us
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  Speaker 1: in a direction or a way towards something or away
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  Speaker 1: from something. I know when I try and rationalize dumb
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  Speaker 1: shit with my prefrontal cortex, I try and be illogically
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  Speaker 1: logical by rationalizing shit that I shouldn't and I can
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  Speaker 1: make a case for it, and I can, I can
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  Speaker 1: turn it into a reason when deep down I really
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  Speaker 1: know it's not a reason, it's an excuse. Deep down
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  Speaker 1: I really know, I know that there is something that
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  Speaker 1: I'm doing that I shouldn't or not doing that I should.
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  Speaker 1: You know, for me, for example, I spend a lot
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  Speaker 1: of years working in the fitness industry, a lot and
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  Speaker 1: a lot of years owning my own gyms, a lot
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  Speaker 1: of years working on the gym floor, having thousands of conversations,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: managing leading hundreds of trainers and fitness professionals. And it
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: was great. It was really good, and I loved it,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: and the fitness industry was great for me, and my
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: staff and my clients were great. And I learned and
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  Speaker 1: I evolved and I grew and I really benefited and
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  Speaker 1: I became. I think through those experiences and that time
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  Speaker 1: and those encounters and relationships and peaks and troughs and challenges,
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  Speaker 1: I became a much better, more capable, adaptable version of me.
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  Speaker 1: But it got to a point where I wasn't learning
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  Speaker 1: and I wasn't growing as much, if at all. It
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  Speaker 1: got to a point where for me, that particular thing,
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  Speaker 1: that particular time, in that particular industry, doing that particular
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  Speaker 1: job that way wasn't that it was bad at all.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't that I hated it. I didn't hate it,
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  Speaker 1: But I just got to the point where I felt
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  Speaker 1: like my time was up. I felt like with that
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: particular life style and job and career and that particular
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  Speaker 1: operating system for me, I'd reached my use by date.
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  Speaker 1: But stupidly, for me, I think I waited. I think
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  Speaker 1: I waited about a year or two too long, maybe
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  Speaker 1: even three, And it didn't end up catastrophically, but it
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  Speaker 1: could have because I knew. I knew a year or
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  Speaker 1: two or three before I got out, or before I
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  Speaker 1: kind of stepped away from got out. Means it sounds
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  Speaker 1: like I was escaping something terrible. I was I definitely wasn't.
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  Speaker 1: But you know when you start working in an industry
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  Speaker 1: at eighteen, and you're working on a gym floor literally
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  Speaker 1: and helping people and teaching people how to squat and
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  Speaker 1: deadlift and talking about bums and legs and micros and
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  Speaker 1: macros and mindset and motivate and structure and blah blah
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  Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. Autopilot. Right, you can hear me,
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  Speaker 1: And then thirty years later you're still doing a version
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  Speaker 1: of that. Of course, I was doing other things at
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  Speaker 1: the same time. I was doing a bit of talking
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  Speaker 1: and writing, and I'd spread my metaphoric wings a bit,
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  Speaker 1: but I knew the signs were there. If I think
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  Speaker 1: if I had have done it too much longer, I
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  Speaker 1: might have hated it. But I didn't pay attention. I
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  Speaker 1: didn't pay attention to my feelings. I didn't pay attention
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  Speaker 1: to my subconscious mind. I didn't pay enough attention to
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  Speaker 1: the kind of results that I was producing, which weren't
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  Speaker 1: as great or as good as they once were. You've
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: been around people, or you might even be the people
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  Speaker 1: who has comma, has waited too long with health, where
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  Speaker 1: your body's screaming at you to do something. Your body
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  Speaker 1: is telling you. You know it, not even like you
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: need to guess. You know that something is wrong. You
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  Speaker 1: know that something is going to break. If you don't
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  Speaker 1: pay attention, if you don't make a decision, if you
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  Speaker 1: don't acknowledge what is, if you keep putting your head
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  Speaker 1: in the sand, if you don't take action, if you
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  Speaker 1: don't be brave, if you don't be accountable, shit is
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  Speaker 1: going to break. And then once something breaks, then once
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  Speaker 1: something that, once the catastrophe happens, you are forced to act.
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  Speaker 1: You are now in a reactive state without a choice,
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  Speaker 1: because if you don't do something, you're going to die,
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  Speaker 1: or if you don't do something, you're going to metaphorically die.
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  Speaker 1: I've seen people do that in relationships where they're in
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  Speaker 1: a toxic, destructive, horrible relationship and they just stay there
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  Speaker 1: because I guess they think on a level, or they
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  Speaker 1: believe on a level that it's easier to stay in
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  Speaker 1: then get out, and they might be right. And yes,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: this is a very complicated, multi variable kind of issue relationships,
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  Speaker 1: of course, and I'm not in this case. I'm not
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  Speaker 1: talking about domestic violence and all those horrible things. That
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  Speaker 1: is for another time, but just people who happen to
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  Speaker 1: be in relationships that they might be friendships, they might
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  Speaker 1: be business partnerships, they might be people who work side
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  Speaker 1: by side, but it's just like the nature of the
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  Speaker 1: relationship for the most part, is destructive and toxic and unhealthy.
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  Speaker 1: Yet people either one don't do anything truly to fix
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  Speaker 1: it or address it or get out of it. And
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: then we wake up and it's five years down the track,
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  Speaker 1: and now my anxiety is through the roof and I'm
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  Speaker 1: still not addressing those problems and I'm still not having
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  Speaker 1: that hard conversation and I'm still pretending it will fix
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  Speaker 1: itself and it won't. You know, one of my better friends,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I don't want to disclose who, and it doesn't matter why,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: but one of my better friends in the last couple
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  Speaker 1: of years passed away and I saw this person not
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  Speaker 1: long like within days of when they passed away. And
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: every time I saw this person, for probably the last
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  Speaker 1: ten to fifteen times that we got together, I was worried.
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  Speaker 1: There was a bunch of alarm bells going off for
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  Speaker 1: me about a bunch of things that I won't open
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  Speaker 1: the door too wide. But even from the outside looking in,
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  Speaker 1: I could tell that this highly gifted, talented, intelligent person
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  Speaker 1: was not addressing things that they should and for that person,
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  Speaker 1: time ran out, you know. And I'm not trying to
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  Speaker 1: be melodramatic, but I've had that experience with a bunch
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: of people. Maybe that's because I'm old, so I've been
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: around for decades. But people that I've lost that I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: don't think needed, I know, didn't need it, didn't need
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  Speaker 1: to be lost. And I can't undo that. But I
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: don't want to lose any more friends. I don't want
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  Speaker 1: to lose any of you. I don't I don't want
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  Speaker 1: to hear, you know, I don't want to hear about
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: somebody who passed away because they wouldn't make a decision,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: because they wouldn't go and get a check, because they
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: wouldn't step up or own up or be honest or
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: be brave. And of course it's not about what I want,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: it's about what's great for you. But but it's just,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: you know, when I see people who are unnecessarily in
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: a holding pattern of destruction and anxiety and toxicity and
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: overthinking and rumination and mental and emotional and physical despair,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: when there's an answer, not a quick, easy or painless answer,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: but there's an answer, there's definitely a path to take,
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  Speaker 1: There's definitely there's definitely something or things that can be done.
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  Speaker 1: You know, When I see that, it makes me sad,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: you know, And on this show we do our best
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: to you know, enlighten and inspire and educate and all
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: those things. But at the end of the day, what
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: really matters, what really matters, is yet becoming the best
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: version of you and optimal you and living your purpose
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and all of those things that I am passionate about,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: lifelong learner and supporting. All of that stuff matters. But
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: almost the most basic of requirements, the most fundamental of
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: human needs, is for you, is for you to pay
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: attention to what your life is telling you. Your body
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: is telling you, your emotional system, your internal sat nav
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: is telling you. So this is a brief one, but
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I'm going to leave you with this. What is the
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: catastrophe that is imminent for you if you don't take action,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: if you don't pay attention, if you don't acknowledge, if
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you don't open your eyes, if you don't be brave.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: What is the thing you need to stop avoiding and
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: own up to or address and when will you do it?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: See you next time.