Latest / Drawn of History / Theo and Duncan Trussell Ponder Life in Pioneer Times(M4A_128K)

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Theo and Duncan Trussell Ponder Life in Pioneer Times(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Conestoga wagon times, right? Like it's the old days
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: and it's like, you know.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: There's a Conestoga wagon.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: And it stalled out on the side of the road, right?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Because anything could have happened when you had a Conestoga
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: wagon because you had wooden wheels, remember?
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: And dude, you could have gotten termites overnight.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Many things. Termites. I mean, just think of wooden wheels
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: on some old fucked up. Nobody's paving roads back then.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: You're going through forest creeks.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Your wife is guessing where a road could be?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: If she's still alive, if she doesn't have an arrow
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: through her throat, if she's not choking on her own
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: blood spray. Your wagon's stained with blood.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you had 11 kids. Your wife has had kids
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: this week.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This week.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It was like that. People don't realize what it was like. Oh, no.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: No, people don't.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: We know because we've had past lives.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, I remember sitting on like a– Like a
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: hillside or whatever, because everything back then was a hillside.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all hills.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Remember that?
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: All hills.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Remember, everything was a hillside. It's like now there's like
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of pavement. There's flattened areas.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you, CERN. The fucking particle accelerator fucked everything up.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Now there's flat places. It used to just be a
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: series of hills.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Everything was a hillside.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Everything. Dude, even people's bodies. You'd have one, like you'd
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: have the strong side of your father and the weaker
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: side because of how he walked to work.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: You know, because you'd have to walk at an angle.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Everybody was. Diagonal. Yes.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Everybody walked diagonally.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It was so different. But dude, your wagon could easily,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning, some termites had showed up,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: like a gang of termites or Italians, some people called them, right?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Showed up and ate a spoke off your wagon wheel.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: And you got a flat.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Well, Italians used to eat wood. So you would literally,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: you didn't even know what it was. Was it like
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: a wild ravaging group of Italians or was it termites?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you'd have no idea.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Conestoga Wagonwood was like the precursor to pizza apparently.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's called the first pasta in some cultures, dude.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: That's the craziest thing.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Doesn't Conestoga mean pasta? It means pasta wagon.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Well, dude, it's just, of course, like you could see
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: like some strong jawed Italian showing up, right? I mean,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: he's just, well, he's so strong jaw just because, you know,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: his neck and everything is strong from wearing all of
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: his chains. They wore like all the chains.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: And he's so jacked and he just sees a fucking
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: warm wagon wheel. It's warm because it's been rolling all day. Yeah.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Plus the stink of birth of wagon birth.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: And then, yeah, you'd hear him come slithering out of
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: the woods down the hill. You're lucky if you are
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: on top of a hill, because if you're at the bottom,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: they just sled on down.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Dude, you'd be standing at the bottom of a hill
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: and an Italian would just roll right up against your leg.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: They just, that's how it is. Gravity and Italians.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Dude, back then their stomachs were just like calloused underneath
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: the hair. It was just from sliding down those hills,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: attacking the wagons. It's a thick, sheeny callous to help
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: them slide.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Terrifying times. People are a-historic these days. And, you know,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: if we don't remember history... We're fucked. You've got to
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: know what actually happened, what this country was founded on.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: And I want you to say that word again. People
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: are ahistoric. Yeah.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: And what does that mean, Duncan, when you say that?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: People don't give a fuck about history. They don't care.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: No one's looking back. Most people don't. And not just
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: with U.S. history, world history, but musical lineages and stuff.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: People just don't really care.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Well, reparations people are looking back. Yeah, but– That's the
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: ultimate rearview mirror is people– Right. If you ride in
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: a car with somebody who's big on reparations, there are
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: like seven rearview mirrors in their car. You notice that?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: That's a lot. But you have to stop. With that
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: kind of thinking, you do have to stop at a
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: certain place. You have to stop in a certain frame.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: You can't keep going back.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: You have to stop there is where you– But come on, man,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: wouldn't you, like, if there was some way for you
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: to get reparations, wouldn't that be amazing? Like, people start,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: that's an incredible income source, you know?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: If they can tap it, I think one of the
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: biggest groups, or some of the biggest groups that probably
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: have at least called out to the gods of reparations,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: probably in our time, would probably be black, or I
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's African-Americans, I don't know if it's
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: black people in general, but I think it would be
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: some African-Americans who people that came from Africa into slavery
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: or their ancestors did. And then Native Americans, like what about,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: that tab was never paid.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Listen, this is why we got to invent a time machine.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Because once we get that fucking time machine, we could
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: go back in time to the actual colonizers and slaveholders
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: and take their fucking shit. That's true reparations because they're
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: the ones who did it. You know what I mean?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, the idea of the reparations is like we,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to call you out everybody knows you
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: have slaves now but I am not a slave owner
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: come on we all know what's going on in Nashville
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: come on I'm sorry I don't mean to do you
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: guys can cut this out you guys can cut this
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: out no but I on the other hand don't oh
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: you're the unslave guy it's not doing as good I
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: don't get the numbers you're getting so so you know
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: you do you should pay reparations but Otherwise, we got
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: to get a time machine, man.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: What would we do? Here's the thing. I'm saying this,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to be honest with you. We get
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: a time machine. Yes. We go back, first of all,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: in time, right? And we get there. The colonizers, I
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: just don't– what is our strategy going to be when
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: we get there?
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: We've got guns. What do they have?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: They have guns. That's how they did it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but not like AR-15s. They've got like shitty muskets
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: and stuff. It's going to be very easy to colonize
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: the colonizers. No.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: What if there is a metal detector when you get
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: into the time machine?
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Disable it. Like it's my time machine. You don't think
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: you– what? You think that's just part of the build?
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: You think a time machine is going to come without TSA, dude?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: You think that the government in Israel is going to
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: let us have a time machine without TSA?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: You're right. They ruin everything, man. They ruin everything. You're
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: going to have like off-market underground time machines that are
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: going to spaghettify your ass when you travel through time.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: It's not going to be safe.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I will say this, bro. They will have like... Dude,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: you know what's pretty wild? I was thinking about this
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: the other day. There's not another famous person with the
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: last name Lincoln. Whoa.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know any Lincolns.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Like there's him... Abraham. Was that his name? Or Abram? Abram.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln. And then Mary Todd Lincoln was his wife.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Who was kind of like, and then his son, Tad Lincoln,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I think who died.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: No shit.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: At a young age. What did Tad die of? But
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: no other famous Lincolns. Think of one.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know any.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: That's pretty unbelievable.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I know like a lot of people whose first name
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: is Lincoln. I don't know any famous. Oh, there you go.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Edward Baker Lincoln. He died on February 1st. At age three, tuberculosis.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: These are the kids. These are his children.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: William Wallace Lincoln.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Cool name. Died at the age of 11. Typhoid fever.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Thomas Lincoln, known as Tad. His cause of death is tuberculosis, pneumonia,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: or heart failure. Holy shit.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: But people, people do not understand. And we do not
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: understand that this was the president of the United States
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and three of his kids died by the age of
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: 18 of tuberculosis. Um, whatever the other one was, I
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: think just, and one of them probably was gay and
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: they killed him.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: That's always happened. That was one out of three kids.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then they say that they give it a
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: bigger name.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Like pneumonia or whatever.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Heart failure.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Heart failure.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: We know what happened.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: But dude, isn't that the craziest way to describe gay?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: It's like he should love a woman, but.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: His heart was failing.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But his heart failed and liked men.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: And he fell into the pigs. Fell into a pig
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: pen and was devoured. Dude, I'll tell you.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Really, it looks like he was like planning for a
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: beautiful day at a picnic basket.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: He had a letter to Randall in it, you know.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Dale Randall, I know that you're but a peasant. My
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: father's president. But, you know, I'll tell you.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: That's why, think of how wild that is. You have
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: three children. Four. You have four fucking children, dude.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Four children.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just had another child while we were finishing
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: this sentence.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: But just imagine that. Go on, what were you saying?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: No, you didn't finish your point. Imagine... Like when you
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: have kids, you can no longer watch Dateline. I used
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: to be able to, when I was single, I could
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: watch Dateline. Some murderer came in. killed a bunch of kids,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: exploded a house with kids in it, killed a mom
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: and the kids watched. And, you know, it sucks. It's sad,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: but whatever.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dateline.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: When you have fucking kids, anything about a kid dying,
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: it's like your DNA changes, for real. Even dads.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: So it hits so hard. Losing three of your children?
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine. You're not
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: sleeping anymore. You're just a walking... corpse you're you're gone
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: your heart is never going to be better after that
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: so that might explain why lincoln looked like shit before
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: he got assassinated no offense but this is what it's
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: like you know this is human existence that's how you
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: know having becoming a breeder really teaches.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: You when you choose to have something you choose to
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: create more and then we're all we're all vic there's
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: always been some form of like at that time where
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: everybody's a slave to the lack of knowledge maybe oh
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: yeah Is that is that a realistic thing oh I.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Think so I think like back then you get an
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: infection you're dead they're sawing your arm off I don't
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: even think they had like they had ether they didn't
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: have like the incredible anesthesia that we have right now
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: where they can dial in just the dose, you know,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: the exact amount of time before you wake up. Back then,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I think they were just like putting a rag on
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: your face if you're lucky.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Or somebody sometimes would just whisper in your ear like this,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you're not feeling anything. You're not feeling anything. You're not
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: feeling anything.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Just sawing your fucking arm off. That was what it
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: was like back then.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're dreaming, dude.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: This is actually great. You guys are good. 1850s average
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: cause of death, tuberculosis.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And what was tuberculosis? Let me say real quick. The
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: single biggest killer in many places, especially among adults and children,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: which is everyone. It's a weird thing to say. In
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: one 1867 Kentucky sample, 18 of 100 deaths were from consumption.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Similar patterns held in the 1850s. What is consumption? Can
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: you give me some– Can you also be looking up
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: what tuberculosis is?
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I think that's what they called it, consumption, right? That
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: was the name for it, consumption.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: But, dude, imagine you get invited probably one weekend at school.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: You're a school kid, right? Consumption is an archaic historical
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: term for tuberculosis, a highly contagious bacterial infection primarily attacking
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: the lungs.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Coughing up blood. Happened to Edgar Allan Poe's. wife she
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: died of tuberculosis like just everybody you would have little
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: this is i think where the handkerchief in the pocket
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: came from is like if you wanted to politely cough
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: up blood in front of people at dinner parties and
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: stuff so.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah because if you were poor you just coughed it
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: into your hand or whatever that was what it's like
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: back then but dude imagine one weekend as a kid
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: this this could be a real life of a child
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: back in the day yeah You go to a kid's
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: party one weekend. Some kid is having his fifth birthday party,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: which at this point is probably one quarter of his life. Right.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: He's about to go to work in the factories.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He'll be at war in two years.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Two years. He's going to be fighting.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: He's getting ready to go to work. So this is like.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Almost working age.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: You go to his birthday, and the next weekend, you
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: could conceivably go to a funeral of another child or adult.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I guarantee that every Sunday you're going to a funeral
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: back then. A Sunday you're not going to a funeral
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: is a good Sunday.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Just go to any old graveyard. Look at all those
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: little graves. Dude. kids were dying left and right. It
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: was a miracle for a kid to survive.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it'll be like Rick, and it was like he's
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: 11 years or something.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Yellow fever. You know, where I come from
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: in Georgia, the cemetery where my family's buried, it's just
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: like filled with these old graves, and it's all yellow fever.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: It's all just weird, old.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: And some yellow fever. Some people think it's because people
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: hate Asians so much that they die, that their heart snaps.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: That's not it.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the original one.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Actually, yellow fever is my favorite K-pop band.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. I do have. I'm sorry.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: It's hilarious, dude. They know what's going on, dude.