Latest / Multiple Nerdgasm / Remember That Time… Volume 1

Transcript

Remember That Time… Volume 1 · Multiple Nerdgasm

0:00
[Music] welcome to multiple
0:02
nerdgasm your destination for all things
0:08
nerdy hi it's Matt here um we don't have a new episode this week I'm very sorry
0:13
about that what we do have are a selection of clips from earlier shows
0:17
that we think are pretty funny think of it like one of those Simpsons episodes
0:20
where they just show you old bits and pieces except probably not as funny
0:25
Jenner has been nice enough to edit these together for you so be sure and
0:27
thank her on Twitter for her hard work thanks for listening and we'll be back
0:30
next week as usual [Music]
0:36
thanks and welcome to multiple nerdgasm
0:38
I'm David I'm Matt [ __ ] Johnny [ __ ]
0:46
Pig and you can be luk Al sex
0:53
offender well there's also another first with this podcast is I'm actually doing it
0:58
naked thankfully that is a first Are you
1:02
seriously naked or I am naked I I can't concentrate now hang on
1:09
because hang on when you when you called me on Skype it said [ __ ] wants to share
1:14
video now I'm extra Disturbed I'm glad you cck to know [Music]
1:20
then when Dan was a bit younger he actually started a radio station on is a
1:25
bit younger he means like over half my life ago 18 no no I bought you like 10
1:30
no 12 12 I was 12
1:37
uh so D was 12 and he had this Mar H never listens to just out at this guy I
1:42
love Mark H too this can we take a moment to explain not like a not like
1:46
Mark H loves a boy but I mean I love Mar
1:52
H I think we should explain there's just been two things that we've seen in the
1:58
last 24 hours that have alluded to the fact that Mark H makes
2:04
inappropriate there's a video on on YouTube that I guess I think it was
2:08
going like doing the rounds it's all shut
2:12
up it's uh this kid won a prize to go on the set of Empire Strikes Back and it's
2:18
it's really awkward and uh uh Mike hell's having a picnic with him
2:23
and whing him dining him you watched it
2:27
okay it is so awkward to see camel makes
2:30
small talk with with a 10-year-old boy he literally says things like so how you
2:36
doing in school yeah I think it was on the TV show because and then it cuts
2:40
back to the studio and the because the kid gets teleported because apparently
2:43
Star Trek now he gets teleported back into the studio and then chewy walks in
2:47
to the to the Imperial Death March
2:50
thing that's that's a bit confusing that's a misuse of elite Motif yeah yeah
2:56
yeah and uh and yeah and even the I don't know what the show is it's it's
3:00
all just yeah it's just really really awkward and so there's that and then
3:04
also all right so we were already making jokes about Mar ham bringing young boys
3:10
to Deo right and then today we watched this behind the scenes where Hamill
3:17
shows a bunch of clips of Star Wars fan films that kids have made and he makes
3:22
particular attention to point out how young they are DN 14 because it's
3:27
impressive to be fair created this she's only 10 years okay okay just to confirm
3:33
that he didn't sound like that he didn't sound like a creepy mining boy hungry
3:40
penile it's
3:45
just so if for some unexplained reason
3:49
Mark H is listening why if you know Mark H yeah we not try we just it's just a
3:55
joke yeah Commander Blair Commander four and five and three you were awesome you
3:59
were awesome love I mean I was one of those rare people that still stands by
4:02
Luke was my favorite character in Star Wars I didn't I didn't Pand it to harm I
4:06
I loved Luke it was a great character I mean if I could go back in time like as
4:09
a kid and offer myself I would I he would take you up on that off he would
4:14
I'd be like I am six take me on a picnic take me on a picnic oh Dy
4:20
six time to take a picnic picnics in quotes yeah did he take you into that
4:26
dark tree where he met his [ __ ] s in the Darth ba suit is that where you did
4:30
it you will not me them what's in there only what you take with you I'm taking
4:34
this boy stop taking this young boy so don't you be me and the boy then yeah
4:39
had some BS oh my
4:42
dad dar's going to kick your ass so Dan um you went on a bit of a
4:49
sojourn to get a [ __ ] mouse pad didn't you I did and it didn't turn out
4:53
well did I does anyone want to hear the story me trying to find a [ __ ] mouse
4:57
pad I want to hear it because I live for this [ __ ]
5:00
you would assume well I did that a mouse pad is a pretty easy thing to find right
5:06
but I live in a town that doesn't have an office works or any real computer
5:09
store so I thought all right well I'll just go to my local Kmart and I'll find
5:14
one there but all they had there was a 3D Dora the Explorer mouse pad doesn't
5:20
really go with everything else on my desk no cuz everything else is the
5:24
wiggle get in desk get in your desk everything's from the film Necro
5:30
romantic yeah so came out was a bust I
5:35
then decided to go into just my local ww Worth's uh Supermarket because they do
5:40
have a computer section in there I went in they've got [ __ ] portable hard
5:44
drives they got discs they got everything no [ __ ] mouse pad all
5:47
right fair enough so I decided to go to the uh the post office because they've
5:52
got computer equipment there you can buy a [ __ ] printer there you can get your
5:55
ink you can get everything like that you can't get a [ __ ] mouse pad Jesus Christ
6:00
so I went to uh you were so set on
6:06
getting a mouse pad you could have just waited till you went to work one day and
6:09
nicked one from there or just G to the shop near work but I was off work I had
6:13
two weeks holiday hours off work I had the time and and my mouse that was your
6:17
plan for that day exactly only reason I left the house take two weeks off I need
6:21
to go get a mouse pad cuz a mouse pad I've got it's not like I don't have one
6:25
I just do have one it's just old and uh it's getting some kind of d and divots
6:30
in it that really [ __ ] around with my mouse and when you're doing kind of
6:32
precision things it's annoying it's a pain in the ass so finally I I ended up
6:37
in the in the uh the discount Variety Store hot dollar and they they did
6:42
indeed have a mouse pad there one did you just say hot do hot
6:47
hot it's a bit racist um that's what it's called yeah this we
6:54
do live in Orban so uh so I I purchased
6:58
said mouse pad uh I was kind of thinking it did look a little small and when I
7:03
when I brought it home I realized it it is really only 2/3 the size of a regular
7:07
mouse pad so right there it's not ideal the other thing is it doesn't say mouse
7:13
pad you know like I was expecting it says high level anti-radiation
7:17
mysterious Mouse evil spirit pad now [ __ ] that's the name and that's
7:23
in bold at the top of the packet and that should have thrown me off but
7:29
literally I've been in four [ __ ] stores by this point that's all about convergence Dan
7:35
like they packed a lot into that mouse pad well sorry go
7:39
on so there's a there's a big paragraph on the front here if you'll permit me
7:45
some of it makes sense uh some of it doesn't and it seems to lose clarity as
7:50
it goes along so if you'll permit me the mysterious mouse pad uses the import
7:55
non-toxic food grade silicone material annoy
8:00
titanium principal after the national SGS six heavy metal content examinations
8:06
achieves the European rohs examination standard conforms to the National
8:11
Environmental Protection standard the mysterious mouse pad sorry I assume that
8:16
was the end of a sentence but but it isn't the mysterious mouse pad also
8:20
considering the human body engineering which function May reduce Wist
8:27
weary protect radiation and increase blood circulation when using it the
8:32
mouse pad Surface after the special texture processing and surfaces smooth
8:37
which is extremely sensitive to the optical Mouse and moving smoothly the
8:42
soft material has the strong absorptive attraction to the table facet and not
8:47
easy to remove the silicone mouse pad may clean time and time again with
8:54
nonfading random curl with non deformation carry home one word carry
9:00
home can be customized any designs and colors obviously
9:07
obviously it's using life that's hyphenated compound word using life is
9:12
very long and suitable for and then it just
9:17
stops no but then on the other side it's got some consumer advice which is lucky
9:23
uh cuz I needed to know if this was suitable for me and it says the
9:26
mysterious mouse pad is suitable group The Long longterm users the office
9:31
computer Asian healthy condition easy weariness the longtime computer player
9:37
light working pressure group and Pregnant SL underage
9:43
group so all my questions were answer I've got know D how much did this mouse
9:48
pad cost the mouse pad cost all of
9:52
$1.99 and the thing is I was prepared to spend up to 20 bucks on this [ __ ]
9:57
mouse pad I was really expecting to get one order something online oh look I [ __ ]
10:02
will I'll just wait till I'm back at work tomorrow and I'll just take one
10:04
home but I took this thing out of the packet and nearly choked on the stench
10:09
of got hex all through it mate it it's if you use it you might die in your
10:14
sleep I put it down for about 5 minutes of computer use and my eyes started to
10:20
hurt so I sealed it in a plastic bag and put it in the garbage what what um what
10:26
binding material did it use to stick to the table what what what special feure did they
10:33
um let me just find uh the strong absor
10:36
of Attraction for the table facet using
10:40
um oh the um the food grade silicone
10:44
material food grade annoying I don't even know what annoying is I'm just back
10:51
to the pregnant slash underage yeah like that very specific pregnant underage
10:56
sorry yeah that's that's right yeah yeah oh oh dear well that's great well I'm
11:01
glad you uh you finally gave up and decided to well let's just say for $1.99
11:07
I got my money with you get what you pay it seems that way Jesus
11:13
[Music] Christ I uh I spent some time in the early 80s uh living with Mark HL and is
11:20
there is there anything you'd like to tell us about uh that time spend well
11:24
it's funny because I came across um I
11:26
was fiddling through my drawers and as
11:33
he and um I I found my old diary from when I lived with Mark Hill diary is a
11:37
bit gay but go on well yeah I mean it was it was the ' 80s dude everyone had
11:41
Diaries and you know I was I was just trying to break into um you know the
11:44
scene in LA and and try and get some work and the gay scene yep go for it
11:47
well you know I just uh I just wrote some thoughts down that's all let's uh
11:53
let's hear it it's a bit private I don't know if I want to share them to be
11:56
honest do it God all right okay Jud really like Shar that thing he did with
12:01
that dead body and his exgirlfriend yeah true all to put this recording up on the
12:08
Internet or anything yeah yeah all right just between us then Dave just between
12:11
us all right okay you'll cut this out you yeah we'll cut this out of the
12:13
podcast yeah of course okay cool all right so this is uh the first extract um
12:19
and it's uh it's from 1981 um I've only I've only got uh months listed in here
12:24
so I don't I don't know what the story is uh oh wait no did I say 81 it's 84 my
12:29
mistake so anyway this is uh this is February uh
12:34
1984 I woke up this morning and headed out into the kitchen Mark was already up
12:39
cooking eggs and generally singing show tunes I [ __ ] hate it when he sings
12:43
those things he gets really into it and it makes me uncomfortable he always gets
12:47
right in my face with it and it has some kind of deep-seated psychosexual
12:51
innuendo that makes my skin crawl but as usual he cooked breakfast for himself
12:55
and didn't offer me any I used to get pissed off but now I just come to expect
13:00
it from him coming off the back of Jedi I've noticed some distinct personality
13:05
changes he's always on about how far he's come what great movies he's been in
13:09
one time he told me that he and George Lucas had a long talk about Mark's
13:12
future George saw him becoming a leading man exploring complex roles and being a
13:17
huge star I mean normally I just nod my head and ignore it but something about
13:21
it got to me I mean deep down though I have the feeling he's going to be the
13:25
next Pino I'd never tell him that though
14:29
future you know what we wanted to do who we wanted to [ __ ] usual gu stuff
14:34
sometimes however Mark will come out with some really weird [ __ ] on this
14:38
occasion I was telling him about how much I wanted to have a family one day
14:41
you know a wife kids the whole nuclear family thing the usual BS by this stage
14:46
I was getting really passionate talking about how I'd love to read them HP
14:50
Lovecraft stories as kids play ball with them you know enjoy that time we had
14:54
together while they were young anyway he gets this really quiet Serene look about
15:00
him for a minute and he turns Bon JY down he looks me dead in the [ __ ]
15:05
eyes with those piercing peepers and
15:08
says you know I love 12y olds I don't know why but that really
15:14
[ __ ] unnerved me I mean that's so [ __ ] specific isn't it I mean most
15:18
people just say they like kids not Mark though he's always really particular with
15:24
stuff I brushed it off with a laugh then we Cru down to car's house the music was
15:29
blaring and we could hear it as we pulled up to the driveway Mark jumped
15:33
out first and started singing another show tune a real song and dance number I
15:37
guess he's practicing for a new role or something [ __ ] always gets work I
15:42
still haven't had a single acting job 3 years in LA and I have [ __ ] to show for
15:45
it except living with Mark [ __ ] Hamill I know what you're thinking but
15:49
why does a movie star share a three-bedroom apartment with a nobody
15:53
well let's just say [ __ ] happened in the past and Mark and I are pretty tight now
15:57
suffice to say blow [ __ ] and crossbows don't make for the best [ __ ] party
16:02
[ __ ] gets out of control real quick so we head inside the first thing
16:07
I hear is screaming at that moment I thought Carrie or one of her dead beat
16:11
friends at [ __ ] OD but when I walked into the lounge room the truth became readily
16:16
apparent Carrie was lying down on the C couch with some huge [ __ ] black guy
16:21
her legs were spread wide open and hanging in the air she's squealing like
16:26
a [ __ ] pig on a stick and Mark takes one look at the scene just grins at that
16:30
moment I had to admit I was a little jealous but there was no way I was going
16:35
to [ __ ] say anything to the guy faced deep in Carry's
16:38
poon besides Mark had always told me way worse stories from the set of Empire and
16:44
Jedi I just walked past shaking my head and headed for the kitchen I asked Mark
16:49
if he wanted anything to drink and he said to make him a Soder and dry he can
16:53
be such a [ __ ] sometimes anyway I'm getting pretty
16:58
tired I'm going to head to bed and ride some more later so there you go that was
17:02
from uh February 1984 when uh I live with Mark H it was a different time back
17:08
then it was a different time it was literally was a different time it was
17:11
1981 yeah oh man we're going to
17:16
jail we're going to jail somehow for [Music]
17:22
that all right please tell the story when I was in in high school in your
17:27
12 um I was drama and you had to do you had to write like a monologue
17:31
performance for the end of your 12 to be judged on the whole class set and and we
17:35
everyone watched your performance and um so this one guy got up and I mean he
17:42
wasn't particularly unusual guy or anything like that he was just a guy he
17:47
was in my class he got up and he did this on The Tubby side he may have been
17:50
a little bit chubby but um there we
17:55
go so he gets up and he's he's doing his thing and the the pieces you know it's
17:59
him dancing and he's in a club somewhere you do and um was there music to this or
18:03
was he just he's just m he's just Ming so he's M dancing he's dancing really in
18:07
the moment good and then obviously some someone comes over and starts talking to
18:10
him cuz he he's going what's that sorry oh sorry the music's really loud I can't
18:13
can't quite hear you what's that just to clarify there's no other actor it's just
18:17
it's just him it's just him and he he so he's going what's that what's that oh
18:21
you want to go outside oh all right okay yeah let's let's go what no no no the
18:24
the the front door's this way what oh you want to you want to go the back
18:30
was just the alley all right can I also just point out the fact that they went
18:34
out the back door foreshadowing set this up didn't so he
18:39
follows this you know this person out so he's acting you know he's outside he's
18:43
like oh you know what did you want to what did you want to talk oh what are
18:46
you doing no no no and so he's Ming out being accosted by this guy and basically
18:52
he minded out in detail him being like thrown up
18:58
against the wall and like his pants being pulled down was he pulling his
19:02
owns he was pulling his own pants down no no oh my God I'm assuming the room
19:07
was deathly silent we couldn't even laugh it was like what is he doing and
19:14
and so anyway yeah so he mind and and then he mind being raped in the ass he
19:17
mind being raped yeah how did it in with him crying on the
19:21
floor so basically the scene ended with him this fat chubby little kid C down
19:28
Ling on the floor and scene and Q egg
19:35
W isn't that in Dragon Age though there's racism like if you're a a um if
19:41
you're a dwarf or something like You' get treated like [ __ ] isn't that well
19:44
that's that's normal I wouldn't know I'm not going to play as a
19:47
dwarf but no that is true yeah shout out to any dwarves
19:52
listening you got that picture I sent you right Dan which no did I the one
19:56
with the little little guy ordering KFC oh yeah [ __ ] yeah that was hilarious I
20:01
felt so guilty after that I'm like what did he order and you're like to feet
20:05
yeah I'm like I hope he can he can finish it all he's only little wait you
20:09
saw a dwarf like in real life he took a
20:13
picture such a Dave is a true friend and if either of you see a dwarf I expect a
20:18
photo I for Dan's benefit if anyone out there excuse me sir friend loves your
20:24
people your people yeah I friend spit on you my
20:31
friend female dwarf so if you know any and I assume you do cuz I assume you
20:35
hang out together yeah oh dear possibly
20:38
your mother oh awful awful people
20:42
dwarves no we are me no I like
20:47
them how can it be racist [Music]
20:52
going well um I mean it's sad that kind
20:56
of Matt took advantage of the that um you were kind of opening up to us really
21:02
by reading out of your diary I mean because now that's that's a great
21:06
segment over but I mean but if it's any constellation I'd just like to say that
21:10
um Dave you weren't the only one that um well 30 odd years ago spent some time
21:14
with a um Star Wars cast member no um and um I've actually uh I'd like to
21:20
follow up your mark and me segment with um with a little segment I call Peter Mayu and
21:26
me this isy chewbaca yeah yeah guy that talks like
21:33
this yeah yeah him obvious um him and I um knew each other back in the day and
21:39
um I mean I never kept a diary but I mean I I could read a chapter out of my
21:44
Memoirs if you'll permit me please do I me if we don't have time then you can
21:49
cut this but can I give a bit of a jingle for here uh for p please go go
21:55
for it P Mayu and
22:00
M nice I like it I like it it's beautiful I want I want like a kind of a
22:05
rock guitar in the back like a real 80s kind of ' 80s rock not the good rock I
22:09
mean like the Bon Joby Rock sure all right so we'll we'll insert the
22:16
jingle in and then I'll go straight in so in Jingle inserting in Jingle seting
22:22
oh Oran all
22:27
right [Music]
22:33
in the summer of 1981 I was backpacking through Europe on sabatical I'd
22:38
inherited a small fortune from an obscure relative and decided to take the
22:41
opportunity to see the world the trip would fill the year before I began
22:44
college and also provide a good opportunity to lay low after an
22:47
unfortunate incident involving a mid-level prostitute and my consumption
22:51
of what doctors were already calling a courageous amount of
22:54
methamphetamine by the time ID arrived in Britain the money had all but dried
22:57
up to make 's meet I'd beg working as a dishwasher for a local Pakistani
23:02
restaurant in central London it was there in those dank roach fi kitchens that I met Peter
23:08
Mayu Peter had been thrust into the public arena with the success of Star
23:12
Wars but three years later was shooting still yet to begin on the much
23:15
anticipated sequel Peter had subsidized his lack of income by waiting tables at
23:19
his local Curry House and it was there amongst those greasy
23:27
immigrants on the back steps of the restaurant passing a spliff back and forth during
23:32
break time Peter used to tell me of his plans for the future he'd submitted his
23:37
own script to George Who focused primarily on his character chewbaca in
23:41
Peter's script it's chewy who single-handedly goes off to fight the
23:44
Empire after the final battle Princess Leia would be so enamored with the new
23:48
hero that she'd forget all about The Love Triangle she'd previously been
23:51
involved in and the film would end with what Mayu described as the filthiest
23:55
walkie onw woman scene you're ever likely to see I asked if he thought his
23:59
postar would be up for that he just smiled and told me that Carrie was up
24:02
for anything so because of his size Peter was popular with the ladies he
24:07
could have taken his pick of any of the young Packy girls but it didn't interest
24:11
him Peter had a particular
24:14
taste his pensant was Asian girls and the younger the better he used to call
24:19
him his little Beauties anytime there was a group of Chinese school girls in
24:24
the restaurant Peter would conveniently be on a smoko and suddenly nowhere be
24:28
found but I knew where he was he was on the back fire escape ramming his immense
24:33
appendage into a willing but unprepared virgin fortune cookie girls of that size
24:38
lack the elasticity required to take Peter's disproportionate
24:43
member but Peter rarely talked about his sexual Conquest he was more excited to
24:48
tell me that they'd already began building the sets for the Deo bar
24:51
sequence and that they were already being used by Hamill who was hosting a
24:54
series of bizarre picnics on the swampy set one Friday I left early to babysit my
25:01
friend L from San Francisco he was in London following diamond head on their
25:05
UK tour that night we went along to the woit odion to see them play Peter came
25:10
along and he and lar hit it off immediately L told us he was going to
25:13
start a band and be the biggest musician in the world one day big talk for
25:17
someone that didn't play an instrument his plan was to give their albums out
25:20
for free cuz [ __ ] the record companies Peter liked his attitude and commented
25:24
that L was a cool guy the next day headed off to El stre
25:29
for filming on Empire I was sad to see my friend go but had my hands full
25:33
trying to get rid of the [ __ ] that me and L had shared the night before and
25:36
find someone in town that could give him drum lessons but the [ __ ] was telling
25:39
us that the double penetrative anal we'd given her was costing more than we'd initially
25:44
negotiated as usual Peter had come to the rescue slinging me a 20 to cover the
25:48
difference before heading out the door on Monday I was surprised to see Peter
25:52
back in the restaurant he told me that shooting had been pushed back after a
25:55
carpenter had discovered the bodies of half a dozen young kids hidden in the tank theer
26:00
bus apparently they'd all claimed to won some sort of competition but no one
26:05
could seem to find any record of it the kids from all over the world boys and
26:09
girls and the only thing they seem to have in common was that they were all
26:12
exactly 12 years old I told Peter that I thought it all
26:16
sounded pretty dodgy he told me not to be so judgmental and we headed off to
26:21
get some Chinese Takeaway that's the end of the chapter
26:26
oh my God
26:34
[Music]
26:42
I'd like I'd like to ask something of you uh basically where is this going Dan
26:47
it's called uh it's called [ __ ] watch and
26:52
um and basically uh how it works is that uh you're out and about you're at work
26:59
or you people to do this wherever you
27:02
are and you see a [ __ ] doing anything
27:06
no and you very discreetly no take out your phone and take a picture of the
27:13
[ __ ] and send into us do not do this
27:17
and each week the best photo will be put up as our [ __ ] watch photo of the week
27:23
no it it will the uh the winner of
27:29
course is Dave's [ __ ] at KFC that was a special treat for you it was a it was
27:36
and now I've gotten greedy and now I need more no listeners do not feed Dan
27:40
sick little fetish now I'm I'm pretty sure very wrong with this segment and I
27:46
this is not a sexual thing this is not a sexual but I think we all know that it's
27:50
not right I just really really like midgets and I really really want to see
27:55
them doing stuff in their everyday lives so in a very respectful way I'd like you
28:00
to spy on them and send their pictures in to our website I'm prepared to add
28:06
this is a pod about stuff it's not your personal repository to have every sick
28:12
little whim of yours fulfilled then look if you don't like [ __ ] watch we can
28:16
call it dwarf watch how that is that better or [ __ ] photo time yeah
28:22
everyone super happy fun [ __ ] of
28:24
Reason in this am I apparently I'm
28:29
I think we need to take a quick vote uh so I'm I'm for yes for [ __ ] watch Luke
28:35
i' also just like to say if you are a [ __ ] yourself feel free to just take
28:39
pictures of yourself and send them in I mean you'll be the clear winner so
28:42
that's fine too that's not cheating feel oh I'm a [ __ ] I can't enter this you
28:47
can't just use go image do we have to have this no they have to send them in
28:51
they have to send them in it has to be viewers or listeners of the show or you
28:56
know anybody who watches our s going out and I want to get people active you know
29:01
what I mean I want to I want to really I want to just start something you know I
29:05
want to start [ __ ] watch yeah so that's awful Matt are you voting yes too
29:09
look I think it has to it's got to be done oh well that's uh that's three to
29:13
one people I thought you would too would be [ __ ] watch is a thing Y and I'm I'm
29:19
yellowing this out on the spreadsheet because it has been mentioned
29:23
and look I I actually I've got some [ __ ] news oh that can be another that
29:28
can be another segment [ __ ] news [ __ ] news Dave can you do a jingle for [ __ ]
29:34
[Music] news all right and now you have to do one for [ __ ] watch yeah or if you're
29:41
offended
29:46
midet oh okay okay that was good I like that uh I think we need to pitch shift
29:52
that up so it sounds like a munchkin and I need you to um put some kind of uh
29:56
filter on it so it sounds like there's hundreds of them singing it is that okay
30:00
yeah so it's probably end up sounding a little bit what the [ __ ] are you doing
30:04
it's going to end up sounding a little bit like [Music]
30:10
this and that's where I'll put it in that's great perfect um can I just say I
30:16
in no way condone this [ __ ] what well you have because you've just performed
30:20
the jingle yeah so yeah you can no longer back out you're you're an
30:24
accessory after the fact or before the fact well or dur fact cuz the first
30:28
picture is going to be from you someone that I know attends a gym yes oh okay
30:34
I'm listening now let me just working at the gym yeah that's exactly what this is
30:37
come someone I know works at a gym where there is also a a [ __ ] who works out
30:42
and all right I'm only going to ask you this once Matt and I want you to think
30:45
very very carefully before you answer sure which
30:50
gym I asked for photographic evidence however well he can send it into midet
30:56
no because no you you get banned if you take photos of other people at the gym
31:01
that is the only reason there's no photo oh oh that's the only reason is above
31:08
okay apparently there's a big sign it says do not photograph the
31:12
midgets inside the gym inside the gym inside the gym yeah inside being the
31:18
operative word yeah I want a photo of that [ __ ] entering or exiting that gym
31:23
with his little gym bag his little tiny gym bag
31:28
you know he he goes in to Wayne Enterprises and asks for a job in
31:35
applied sciences meets Fox and gets Luci the tumbler which was commissioned by
31:41
the government and just paints it black and then oh well we have no idea what
31:45
that is dude have you ever seen the D and D's [ __ ] re the dod's research
31:48
stuff man I didn't know what the [ __ ] going on all right fine Ser it's a
31:52
mountain of paperwork somebody knows we're talking about the US
31:56
government man like the most inep bureaucracy in the entire world bring it
32:01
back there's some guy who actually oversaw and built that he's not going to
32:05
go this BL there blueprints no no it was it was over and built by Lucius under
32:10
contract from the US government all right so so he built some guy behind the
32:15
desk went yeah try and make something that does this the mechanics involved in
32:20
this on the news and go wait a minute that's the Batmobile I just built the
32:25
Batmobile I spent the last 3 months from the that's mine yeah someone stole my
32:31
agent well I think they actually even addressed that in the second one yeah
32:35
the guy when thees to yeah yeah yeah yeah but if you're going to play
32:40
something for truth and play it for believability I think you you you have
32:43
to honestly say there's going to be a line you have to draw somewhere and for
32:46
me that line was when the Batmobile just crashed and pretty much caught on fire
32:50
and then a motor bike popped outside uh hold on do you know where I actually saw
32:55
this cuz I saw this last night we rewound it we knew you were going to bring this
33:01
up the front two wheels are the wheels of the motorcycle yeah so so what
33:07
happens is why does it turned into a motorcycle because it's multi-purpose
33:11
it's the eject sequence it says eject sequence in the from the 80s how what
33:18
does an airplane turn into a chair you eject
33:23
exp can I just give this some context for the people who are lost at the
33:29
when we saw the Dark Knight Dave's one criticism or his first criticism the
33:33
first thing he said I thought it was a [ __ ] movie because quote there was a
33:39
exploded into a motorbike no there was a car that exploded into a bike sorry your
33:43
exact word were there was a car that exploded into a motorbike that's when I
33:46
tuned out that's when I was like okay I watched this I saw no explosion with
33:50
this car okay the car just ran into a giant fiery crash no it sits there for
33:55
about 3 or 4 minutes after that crash into the oh yeah of course so so you
34:01
type in turn into motorbike enter before that he's already gone into motorbike
34:07
mode remember he up like this and then he goes down yeah he goes down into a
34:10
motorik he knows he's going to very clever very clever which in in Batman
34:15
Forever he don't even talk to me about those movies no no sorry he should that
34:19
that actually I didn't like about that how he's already in motorcycle mode
34:23
before he even knows he going to be he does that it's such a stupid
34:28
that's jump from that's that's but it really characterized what
34:32
I found distasteful about the film because I thought it had lost that
34:35
appeal to truth that you were talking about earlier I see my I I don't think
34:38
the first one had as much of this cuz I watched the first one again recently
34:42
yeah and I mean that part where he's driving on the rooftops in the tumbler
34:45
exactly it and uh God what else but it was dark yes I like to see how Ste mode on
34:52
the car is literally just turning off the lights steal mode on the car I do
34:58
sometimes I'm like Ste mode my lights we say last night some of this stuff like
35:02
you know when sometimes I accidentally dri mode he decides he's not going to be
35:06
Batman anymore and they burn all the paperwork in that and so they're
35:08
shutting everything down and the lights turn off in the same direction so at some
35:13
point he said to ALF it's very important that the lights turn
35:16
off one day I'm not sure what you mean by that what what you day Batman
35:23
anymore all go off at once no no second thing I don't like
35:28
okay I'm not a huge fan of Katie Holmes I mean after I saw her ticks in the
35:34
gift don't jume don't jump ahead what but we're still talking about a car that
35:38
explodes into a bike I thought I thought we go back to the ' 80s or the early
35:42
'90s the Tim Burton ones which you've already stated you do like the
35:47
Batmobile putting that out there what's that Batmobile Sid shoot off the middle
35:52
becomes the bat missile isn't that in the second one yes yeah I thought the
35:55
second one was sh that's with missiles attached to the B what
36:01
you're saying is you actually don't like Batman I like the first
36:08
Batman you just like origin you just like origin stor so you like the first
36:14
Tim Burton Batman where he has a jet that conveniently has a thing that grabs
36:18
balloons on the and then cuts the strings my wonderful balloons and then
36:23
he floats them out under the sea so it's some other City's problem
36:31
wind currents and what I'm you like the one that the soundtrack was done by
36:34
Prince yeah bad dance yeah
36:38
okay I'm going to punch ight shamalan in the twist if I ever see him in the twist
36:45
TST it's not his twist gland that's where he gets all his ideas down I know
36:48
it is I'm going to punch him hard in it don't breathe the air I got to cut it
36:54
run it's the wind [ __ ] fake yeah M you are the worst
37:00
filmmaker ever I I think we have to agree he's the
37:05
worst he he may not be the worst but he's terrible name one worst uh then run
37:10
it's the win name name a worst movie where something worse than run it's the
37:16
wind happens uh what's the the day after tomorrow where they run away from the
37:21
cold I think the cold would kill you before the wi yeah but you can't run
37:25
away from it you can't run away from
37:32
E next time we're all over let's see if we can outrun I think you got a better
37:37
chance of out running Ice let's have a movie marathon of films where they have
37:40
to run away from something that is like abstract Concepts
37:46
right yeah yeah I think we need to make that film where people are chased by a
37:50
giant metaphor yeah I mean I thought it look cool but I
37:54
was I was expecting it to be over the top cuz it's Too Faced I liked it I
37:59
thought it was because this is a Batman movie it's not a Merchant Ivory film
38:03
yeah and in fact I would have been annoyed if it was too subtle because I'd
38:06
be like well it's you know it's got to be it's very it's got to be very well
38:09
nothing's less subtle than a car exploding into a motorbike I tell you
38:12
that much so you got what you wanted it didn't explode I'm sick of you saying
38:18
seen two wheels at the front two wheel at the front the left wheel shoots goes
38:23
forward you guys really did pause it and
38:26
what the right hand wheel acting this
38:30
out the left wheel starts going comes out and then the where he's sitting and
38:37
and it spins it's hard to do oh you're convinced now I I'm making actions but this is
38:43
obviously not good listening but anyway the whole thing pivots around and
38:47
then the right wheel spins around back and anyway actually something else Luke
38:52
pointed out you liked something less yeah what was I stupider was when he
38:57
drove up to a building drives up the wall and spins around stupid okay but
39:02
and I want to point out that I don't think anyone addressed this is you're
39:05
saying that the fact that the bike can do that is silly yeah but it does stuff
39:09
like that earlier on it's just I don't know if anyone notices but when he comes
39:13
out of the shopping center no no did it sort of spin or something the wheels
39:18
Grandad what did you do when you were young we talked about Batman son talk
39:22
about that no I don't mean when you were a kid I mean when you were like a young
39:25
adult like in your 30s talk about that the wheels spin through like all the way
39:30
I saw that but I didn't think I actually saw it no no because the lights are on
39:34
because that would just be stupid no it's not stupid it's [Music]
39:38
awesome I get a dragon story I haven't played Skyrim yet but but it the talking
39:42
about Skyrim did remind me of uh when I
39:45
was at work fairly recently and my boss had seen what I can only imagine is a
39:52
mockumentary about dragons right yeah and um but he didn't realize that it was
39:57
a mockumentary it was a documentary he
40:00
comes in and with no irony and no kind
40:05
of uh you know joking around at all he just says did you guys know Dragons Were
40:10
Real oh what and most people in the
40:15
office just humored him and went oh what and he started just really really
40:21
nonchalantly telling the story about yeah no they um I watched the sto on
40:25
them and um and they uh they uh they ate rocks which is why they got the fiery
40:30
breath and they uh they were egg layers and U and he just started rattling off
40:37
facts I'm doing air quotes facts that he had heard in this documentary um and I
40:43
was looking at the guy I work with in my department Ben kind of like what the
40:49
[ __ ] is this conversation no one else was calling him out on it everyone was
40:53
just like oh okay okay and we were like sorry I stop you there there's no
40:59
[ __ ] dragons and he actually started getting quite uh aggressive and saying
41:05
well I saw the documentary you obviously didn't see it
41:11
and I I don't care what you saw there weren't any dragons like that's that's
41:16
just a fact and he's like well I saw a doco all right you saying I'm lying that
41:19
I didn't see a doco and we're like well no you you obviously did see a doco that
41:25
doesn't prove that they were dragons just agree to disagree well agree to
41:29
disagree then no documentary it was presented by um by Christian Bale and uh m
41:36
m yeah that was a great concept Rin he's not listening to this is he Dan so that
41:41
was a that was just a uh who Christian
41:46
Bale no it was just a conversation I never
41:51
thought I'd actually have to have tell somebody look I don't care what you saw
41:55
dragons are not real Jesus Christ um yes and sorry for anyone who's listening to
42:00
this who thinks dragons are real they're not oh no not sorry you're a [ __ ]
42:06
idiot well put [Music]
42:10
D so I um I was the gray the other day with Liam n oh you watched the movie
42:17
with Liam n yeah did he like it oh he he was in it he enjoyed it doesn't take is
42:23
it good it's the wolf one yes Liam wolf
42:26
wolf puncher crazy C that's oh my god really is that is that what people are
42:32
calling it yeah wolf puncher wolf puncher that's what do he punch that's
42:37
funny only because if you see it that's not what you think oh really yeah isn't
42:42
it a movie about him punching wolves well no oh no not punching them no is he
42:48
a wolf question well I don't know what
42:54
it's about then now I'm have to watch it no it's it is a tale of survival yeah I
42:59
thought he he gets trapped in the snow and there's wolves so he fights them hand to hand
43:05
combat if that isn't a movie that should be and it it looks like he he like takes down
43:11
these wolves like a like he's the predator and they're Arnold schwarzen Niger and his
43:18
team no it's um it's actually quite a spiritual film it's so oh sounds great
43:25
yeah run out and see that you D okay I'll watch is it good it's good it's
43:30
good is it it's in 3D I only watch M punch 3D I assumed it was just going to
43:36
be him and some dudes punching wolves like you said man but um I'm
43:40
disappointed that it's not oh no it is it is it is that what what are you
43:44
telling me here it is secondary it's it's so secondary to do wolves get
43:50
punched or not yes wolves do get punched fine well
43:56
watch the but to call it Liam n's wolf puncher
44:03
would be disingenuous and not and not and not true to the spirit of the film
44:08
I'm just saying it's it's it's it's more about survival and the is there a scene
44:13
where he's like a negotiator on the phone with the Wolves
44:18
skitt which will make your life very unpleasant would would would we still
44:23
get the gist of it if we just fast forwarded in between the wolf punching scen
44:28
like so you only watch The Wolf punching bits yeah is there a scene like is there
44:32
like a special feature on the disc where you can skip to just the scenes where
44:35
wolves get some kind of wolf punch Montage I don't know I don't he's a
44:41
manly man though isn't it I'm going to come out of it going a man I wish Le n
44:44
was my dad yeah pretty much yeah yeah
44:48
you would be such a disappointment to
44:51
Le we all would not just you m I'm could you just gay or something yeah
44:58
that's right [Music]
45:02
yeah woman in Skyrim we all marri that same woman and it's odd because we do
45:08
have quite different tastes generally we do and we joke about that and we in the
45:12
game and Skyrim we we all just wanted in all honesty guys it was the first bit of
45:16
poon that wandered our way that's why we all Mar seem no no because we discussed this on
45:22
this show on on this on this very show you guys I told you guys how to to to go
45:28
about getting married yeah and then you then went and all married the same
45:32
person I had no but you didn't tell us who you had marri that's what I'm saying
45:37
yeah but that's the first woman that expresses any interest yeah but I'd be
45:40
playing the game for like 20 hours before I actually got
45:44
married that's me too but like I had to get that necklace and then I had to
45:48
travel back to her and I've met other girls on the way have you I didn't meet
45:54
a single other woman who expressed any interest in me you can marry that woman
45:57
in um rifton who uh the the woman a filthy rifton woman are you crazy she's
46:03
not the she's it's a [ __ ] sewer Town she's the goody two shoes that's there I
46:07
know I I mean doesn't interest me but uh I know that you can I think I've got
46:13
what mat so like me Dan and Luka you know we be the kind of guys that would
46:16
marry a [ __ ] sewer Town [ __ ] is that what you're saying I'm not
46:19
saying if you want to you know that's how you want to run with
46:24
then look I mean you all you guys all want my [ __ ] whatever yeah well I'm
46:30
just saying I saw her first yeah well you know you if I could murder her I
46:34
would well I moved mine into a three-story house where she now lives in
46:37
um absolute luxury so uh oh you're not living in White Run anymore no no we
46:41
moved to uh Solitude because um it's too snowy inside no I have a beautiful I
46:45
know I have a beautiful
46:49
house we just listen to ourselves
46:53
sometimes moving to a different town MTI oh done it's beautiful in solitude yeah
46:59
you really haven't spent enough time there Solitude ruin 20 years ago Daniel
47:05
this is the video game talk people want where real estate tips in the
47:11
virtual world you we should open up a real estate agent in [ __ ] Skyrim
47:16
that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you enjoyed the
47:21
show if you enjoyed it then please subscribe and items to receive episodes of
47:27
automatically we'll see you next time