Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #596 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#596 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Time poor parent who just once answers. Now they'll add
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: it into a conversation and all of a sudden you're like,
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  Speaker 1: how does my child know this? But what we've learned
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  Speaker 1: over time, they actually don't. And now here's the stars
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: of our show, my mom and dad.
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  Speaker 3: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson, the found of Happy
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  Speaker 3: Families dot com dot you. Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Friday,
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: the sixteenth of September. We've only got three months to
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  Speaker 3: go to a Christmas Kylie, I.
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  Speaker 1: Think we need to have a CEO meeting.
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  Speaker 2: A CEA meeting. What's a CA meeting?
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  Speaker 1: Chocoholics Anonymous. If you'd be listening to the podcast for
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  Speaker 1: a while, you might have worked out that that we
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  Speaker 1: have a problem.
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  Speaker 2: But when you say we you you're putting this on me.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, of course you.
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  Speaker 3: You eat way more chocolate than me, only because you
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  Speaker 3: bring it home. Well, tell me, well, we have to
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  Speaker 3: have a CEA meeting.
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  Speaker 1: Well, we made a commitment, and so I'm putting it
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  Speaker 1: out there. We've made a commitment that we're going to
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  Speaker 1: not entirely obliterate refined chickens from our diet, but we're
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  Speaker 1: going to do a really solid job of it. So
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  Speaker 1: guess what I did today in support of.
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  Speaker 2: Your need to not eat chocolate junk food? Yeah, what
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  Speaker 2: did you do? Well?
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  Speaker 1: I really wanted some chocolate, so I boiled a hard egg.
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  Speaker 1: I ate an egg.
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  Speaker 2: You see that sounds so tragic.
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  Speaker 1: It was. It was really tragic. I put it into
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  Speaker 1: my mouth and it was not satisfying. So a texture,
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  Speaker 1: everything about it.
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  Speaker 3: You're not aware of this, but you remember, I mean
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  Speaker 3: for long term podcast listeners, you'll know that for the
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  Speaker 3: last few months we've been talking about the Haggs chocolate
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  Speaker 3: not sponsored that I've been stashing and eating, and I've
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  Speaker 3: got mouth poulses and I'm not sleeping properly and I'm stressed.
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  Speaker 3: And that's why we've decided to do it, because I
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  Speaker 3: need to look after myself better. I'm gaining weight, nothing's
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  Speaker 3: going right, and I've still got right now as you're
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  Speaker 3: talking about the hard boiled egg that you ate and
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  Speaker 3: felt so dissatisfied, that's a good it was anti climactic.
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  Speaker 3: So I've got half a bag of Haig's specially freakly thing. Ohs.
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  Speaker 3: Just to me this to my right in the cupboard
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  Speaker 3: that you can't see because the door's closed.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I probably should tell you then that I have
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  Speaker 1: a packet of baby balls half eaten in my draw.
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  Speaker 2: Have you been eating them? No?
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  Speaker 3: You had a hard boiled egg. You actually haven't been
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  Speaker 3: eating them? Well, not today, Kylie Coulson. I haven't eaten
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  Speaker 3: one of these Haig's freckles for ages.
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  Speaker 1: No, but what else have you been eating?
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  Speaker 3: I think I've been good all week. All week, I've
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  Speaker 3: been perfect. But that brings us to a littly better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: For those of you who are knew to the podcast,
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  Speaker 3: every Friday we talk about what we could do better
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  Speaker 3: and what or what we're doing well as parents so
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  Speaker 3: that we can intentionally make our parenting better tomorrow and
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  Speaker 3: next week.
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  Speaker 1: Well, the first step is recognition, my honey, So you
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  Speaker 1: need to at least acknowledge that you're an addict.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I'm not going to say that I'm an addict.
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  Speaker 3: I'm uncomfortable with that word, especially in reference to me
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  Speaker 3: in the way that I consume sugary, process crappy foods.
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  Speaker 3: But I have been eating way too many of them
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  Speaker 3: this week. I have been perfect in my staying away
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  Speaker 3: from anything processed, rubbishy stuff.
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  Speaker 2: But I've been a really.
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  Speaker 1: So you're obviously not including Sunday.
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  Speaker 3: No, Sunday was the day that we made the decision.
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  Speaker 3: So from Sunday afternoon I was great. Yeah, because on
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  Speaker 3: Sunday we did indulge. Thank you for pointing out that
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  Speaker 3: I'm still human human.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: But this week what I found is that I'm not snacking,
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  Speaker 3: which is great because one of the reasons that I
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  Speaker 3: want to get off junk food is because I want
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  Speaker 3: to stop snacking. But I'm also starving all the time.
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  Speaker 3: I'm constantly hungry and a carrot or a piece of lettuce, or.
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  Speaker 1: You're going to have to eat four boiled eggs instead
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  Speaker 1: of one.
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  Speaker 3: It's doing my head in. And when I get really hungry,
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  Speaker 3: I just especially late at night, especially with the stress
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  Speaker 3: of trying to finish the book.
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  Speaker 1: Then you get hungry, is what you're trying.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I haven't.
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  Speaker 3: I haven't lost it with because in fact, I think
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  Speaker 3: I've been pretty done good, but pretty good considering the circumstances.
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  Speaker 2: I just have not.
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  Speaker 3: Been I haven't got the energy to wrestle and play
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  Speaker 3: and do all the stuff that I'm supposed to be
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  Speaker 3: doing and.
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  Speaker 2: It's so so hard, and.
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  Speaker 3: So my odd better tomorrow is I need to find
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  Speaker 3: a way to get some calories into me that are
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  Speaker 3: healthy because I'm really really struggling and it's not going well.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm going to put it out there. If you've
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  Speaker 1: got any ideas on how Justin can get his chloric
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  Speaker 1: intake up so that he's not angry by the end.
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  Speaker 2: Of the night in a healthy way.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, email us at podcasts at happy families dot com.
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  Speaker 3: Dot podcast at happy families dot com dot you as
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  Speaker 3: long as you promise to follow the recipes and I
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  Speaker 3: can just enjoy the treats it.
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  Speaker 1: Why is it that it always just adds more work
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  Speaker 1: to my I'm.
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  Speaker 2: Trying to write this book. I signed up for four books.
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  Speaker 1: Write a book.
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  Speaker 2: What would you write a book about?
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  Speaker 1: I have no idea, but I can promise you that
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  Speaker 1: I would enjoy the process, just so that everybody else
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: could take care of my life? Am I washing?
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  Speaker 2: So that you can complain? I've got to do this
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  Speaker 2: book just and I need help do everything for me.
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  Speaker 1: No, No, I could to write these books, so I
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  Speaker 1: need to disappear.
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  Speaker 2: Right, I could enjoy that? It does sound good?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah? I think I need to think about this a lot.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do want to just quickly mention a win. Though.
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  Speaker 2: This past week.
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  Speaker 3: We went for a big family bike ride. It was
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  Speaker 3: actually last Saturday, the day before we swore off sugar.
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  Speaker 3: I don't think I've got the energy to go for
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  Speaker 3: a bike ride right now because I'm not any calories.
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  Speaker 3: But that bike ride we found a like a I
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  Speaker 3: don't know, a whole lot of canals and tributaries and
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  Speaker 3: things to ride around tributaries?
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  Speaker 2: Is that the right word?
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  Speaker 1: Why are you asking me?
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  Speaker 2: Lots of lots of watery stuff to ride around? Caught
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  Speaker 2: a canal, took the whole took the whole.
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  Speaker 3: Family, And how much fun was it for a family
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  Speaker 3: bike ride? Got swipped by magpie, It found sting rays
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  Speaker 3: and fish in the water. It was amazing. So, even
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  Speaker 3: though it hasn't been the greatest week because I've been
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  Speaker 3: writing a book and I've been calorie deprived and feeling
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  Speaker 3: miserable because I've missed my chocolate. My treats are my lollies,
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  Speaker 3: we have had some great margins.
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  Speaker 1: Well after the break, I'm going to share what our
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  Speaker 1: kids really know about what they see in the movies.
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  Speaker 2: It sounds rude.
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  Speaker 3: Just when you think you've got this parenting gignailed, your
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  Speaker 3: child hits some new milestone that leaves you figuratively banging
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  Speaker 3: your head against the wall. You wonder, where's the instruction manual?
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  Speaker 3: Your Growth Guide is that instruction manual? A webinar outlining
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  Speaker 3: basic milestones so you know where your child's at, where
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  Speaker 3: they're going, and what.
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  Speaker 2: You can expect.
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  Speaker 3: Get insights, reassurance and support from your Growth Guide. Available
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  Speaker 3: online at Happy Families dot com dot au.
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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time
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  Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now, what happened with the movies? Missus, Happy Families, You've
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: funniest experience. Yep, So kids have seen something rude and they.
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  Speaker 1: Well, we had a Papa holiday a little while back
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  Speaker 1: and one of our daughters invited a handful of friends
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  Speaker 1: over to watch a movie. And we have a very
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  Speaker 1: open house, open planned house, so they can't hide anything
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  Speaker 1: from me. I can see it all. And i'd finished
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  Speaker 1: doing what I was doing, and they were halfway through.
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  Speaker 1: They were actually just watching Jim ungiep And it's a
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  Speaker 1: pretty cool movie. I really really enjoy it. And so
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  Speaker 1: I sat down, and Jack Black plays the character of
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  Speaker 1: a girl because he's a character of the avatar.
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  Speaker 2: In the game. In the game, so the girls being
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  Speaker 2: the boy, that's right.
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  Speaker 1: And so she's going through all of these experience as
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  Speaker 1: a woman in a man's body. And so at one
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  Speaker 1: point Jack Black gets an erection, but it's not you
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  Speaker 1: don't see anything, you just kind.
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  Speaker 2: Of he he looks.
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  Speaker 1: Down and he goes, oh, that's how that works, and
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  Speaker 1: the kids erupt into nervous laughter. They're all laughing. And
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  Speaker 1: part of the reason that Britt nervous is because I'm
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  Speaker 1: obviously sitting in the room.
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  Speaker 2: So which kids are these? How old are they? They're twelve,
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  Speaker 2: twelve year.
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  Speaker 1: Old twelve year olds and so finally one of the
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  Speaker 1: kids might happen to have been our daughter, said, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I don't get it, guys.
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  Speaker 3: So they're all laughing, but they're all laughing because everyone's laughing,
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  Speaker 3: they're not actually laughing because.
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  Speaker 1: They get that's right, And so all of them and
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  Speaker 1: in chorus go you don't get it really made her
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  Speaker 1: feel like she was an idiot because she didn't know
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  Speaker 1: what's going on, and that they're all still laughing, and
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  Speaker 1: she's like, no, no, I actually don't get it, and
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  Speaker 1: so one of the kids then goes he wear his
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  Speaker 1: pants and I have done everything I can to just
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  Speaker 1: hold this in until finally another kid's gone, uh no,
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  Speaker 1: and he's looked down at his own penis and he's
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  Speaker 1: kind of gone ah, and the guy's.
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  Speaker 3: Gone, oh, did the others get it?
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  Speaker 2: No?
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  Speaker 1: No, But it just it really highlighted to me because
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  Speaker 1: a few nights later, we're watching a movie You and
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  Speaker 1: I and there's a scene in there with a whole
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  Speaker 1: heap of kids around about the same age. They're playing
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Spin the bottle and one kid starts using all of
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  Speaker 1: this terminology with this best mate next door because they're
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  Speaker 1: gonna go into the cupboard to have seven minutes in heaven.
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  Speaker 2: Right. Yeah, Yeah, I didn't. I didn't love that movie,
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  Speaker 2: but I remember the scene.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the boys starts using all of these terminologies,
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  Speaker 1: you know, first base, second base, what it's all about,
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  Speaker 1: and all of these different things, and the other kids going, well,
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  Speaker 1: what's that and it's gone. I don't know, but my
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  Speaker 1: mum said it's really good or something like that. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: And it was just it was it was just again
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  Speaker 1: highlighting the fact that our kids are consistently having conversations
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  Speaker 1: about terms they actually have no idea about. And if
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  Speaker 1: we don't have our own conversations with our kids, their
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  Speaker 1: head is being filled with stuff that is completely, like
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  Speaker 1: completely wrong on every level. And this is because this
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  Speaker 1: is educating them on a the very beginnings of their
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: journey of sexuality and you know, just maturity.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So they're learning in the playground and then as
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  Speaker 3: they get older, they start to learn from the internet,
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  Speaker 3: but it's usually not helpful and it's usually not accurate,
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  Speaker 3: and it's certainly not going to be giving them the
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: scripts and the information that they need to have healthy
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: intimate lives.
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  Speaker 1: That's right, And so we actually have what we call
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Sexy Sunday for now first Sunday of every month and
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: we sit down and we have these conversations with our
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: kids and we actually asked them, what do you want
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  Speaker 1: to know about? So last month we had a conversation
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  Speaker 1: about sdis Yeah, like they wanted to understand what is
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: that people are talking about it at school and you know,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: how do you get one? And can you pass it on?
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And do you have it forever?
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  Speaker 3: And I guess the next one we're going to do
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: is jumunji in directions. Right, gosh, so and this thing
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  Speaker 3: six daughters, none of them all?
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  Speaker 2: Right, let's move on.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: So the older better tomorrow is take home messages from today.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: I need to figure out what I'm going to eat
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: podcasts at Happy families dot com today. You please help me.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I'm calorie deprived and I want to be a better dad.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: We've got to go for more bike rides. I've got
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  Speaker 3: to stop signing up to write more books.
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  Speaker 1: And I think don't make assumptions that your kids, even
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: though they are using the right words, actually know what
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: they're talking about. For starters, and you know, we've had
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: experiences where our kids have actually come home and said, hey, Mum,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: the girls are talking about you know this particular term.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: What does it mean? Or they'll add it into a
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: conversation and all of a sudden, you're like, how does
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: my child know this? But what we've learned over time,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: they actually don't. And so what does that? What does
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: that look like to you? You know, when your five
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: year old comes home and says they've got a boyfriend,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: instead of freaking out, they've got a boyfriend, What does
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: a boy what does a boyfriend? Does that look like
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: and more times than not, you'll find out that your
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: assumption and knowledge of what that term means is actually
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: very different to what theirs is, and we can educate
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: them in you know, appropriate ways as the need arises.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of like the Princess Brian inconceivable. I don't
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  Speaker 2: think of me, So what do you think of miss Hey?
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Just before we run, I have a great weekend.
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  Speaker 3: On Monday night, We've got this incredible webinar lined up.
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  Speaker 3: A couple of weeks ago, I wrote in The Daily
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Telegraph about the Knox Boys School scandal with all the
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: stuff happening on Discord, the abhorrent, scandalous content that they've
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: been posting there. Building on that and talking I guess
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  Speaker 3: a bit about what you've just described, Kylie pornography and
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: exposure to stuff online gaming, gambling, all the challenges that
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: boys have with the online world. We're talking about it
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: on Monday night, Boys and our screens. It's a webinar
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to be doing through The Happy Family's
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: website or through our membership if you'd like information about it.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: It's going to be so good targeted for parents of
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: boys between eight and eighteen who are using their screens
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: are about to be using their screens in ways that
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: we as parents sometimes get nervous about.
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  Speaker 2: Please join us. Find all the details on.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Our Facebook page, Doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families, or at
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: happy families dot com dot au. Have a great weekend,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Like I said the Happy Family. This podcast is produced
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: executive producer and if you'd like more information about making
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: a family happier, visit us at happy families dot com.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Do