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How do we Return (S5) S22:E6 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hello there, everyone, it is Chauncey Morley
0:27
here, serial entrepreneur, great to be with you
0:30
on this wonderful Thursday evening, it is May
0:34
28, 2026.
0:35
If this is your very first time joining
0:37
me, well, welcome.
0:39
Thanks so much for joining me, really do
0:40
appreciate that.
0:41
And if you've been here one time, five
0:43
times, 100 or more, of course, I want
0:46
to say thank you, but I want to
0:47
say the words, welcome back, I really do
0:49
appreciate those that enjoy the quality and content
0:51
that I produce and wish to come back
0:52
and soak up more of it so they
0:54
can become a little more wiser.
0:57
All right, guys, so another great show.
1:00
If you guys are thirsty, feel free to
1:01
go get yourself a water, a beverage, a
1:04
snack, cookie, fruit, whatever it is, and come
1:08
on back to the show, get yourself comfy.
1:12
Don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for,
1:15
of course, more of my amazing, inspiring creations,
1:17
which you could do, incidentally, guys, 24 hours
1:21
a day, you can do that.
1:23
Started enabling a new monitoring program that I
1:26
wrote and set up here because we've been
1:28
going up and down a lot.
1:29
So I started this actually yesterday, and I've
1:34
been monitoring the different ups and downs.
1:36
And the last time that we went down
1:39
was actually at 1638.
1:42
So that would be 4.38 p.m.,
1:47
and we came back up at 4.42.
1:52
So hopefully we're not going to go down
1:54
anymore, but who knows, but we've been monitoring
1:55
this because I plan on letting them know
1:58
that this has been a recurring situation.
2:02
All right, guys, so let's dig into the
2:04
show.
2:04
But before we do, I want to let
2:06
you know that this whole week is another
2:10
great topic.
2:10
We always have great topics.
2:11
I don't think we ever have bad topics.
2:14
Don't forget to check out JCMAcademy.com, by
2:16
the way.
2:17
You can get to that from BelieveMeAchieved.com,
2:19
but you can go right to JCM Academy,
2:21
and you can soak up some more great
2:24
knowledge right there.
2:26
I've got lots of articles and things about
2:29
my book and other insights.
2:31
So you're definitely going to probably want to
2:33
check that out.
2:34
But this master topic for the week is
2:38
Belonging Drives Action, Series 5, Show 22.
2:42
Incidentally, this is episode number six tomorrow, so
2:47
episode seven, then we have a brand new
2:48
master topic for Saturday.
2:51
All right, guys, let's kick this show off.
2:55
How do we return?
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That's what tonight's granular topic is.
3:01
How do we return?
3:02
Series 5, Show 22, episode number six.
3:07
Yeah.
3:09
So, let's get into this, all right?
3:12
We're talking about returning.
3:13
I know that can be a little bit
3:14
challenging, but we're going to dive into it
3:17
pretty easily.
3:19
There's a moment after any great experience when
3:22
you ask yourself one simple question.
3:25
What's that question?
3:26
Will I come back?
3:28
Not because you have to, not because someone
3:31
told you to, but because something inside you
3:33
wants to.
3:35
That's the moment where belonging begins.
3:37
I know I run some groups, and sometimes
3:39
we get people I call window shopping.
3:41
They come once, and then they don't come
3:42
back again.
3:43
Other people, they like the culture, and they
3:45
keep coming back again.
3:46
By the way, my name is John C.
3:48
Morley.
3:48
I'm a serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video
3:51
producer, podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student,
3:56
a passionate lifelong learner, and now I'm so
3:59
grateful to be a published author.
4:01
And on Inspirations for Your Life, I don't
4:04
just talk about growth, guys.
4:05
I don't just share quotes.
4:07
I live it every single day.
4:09
I've built companies from nothing.
4:10
I've stood on stages in front of thousands.
4:12
I've recorded hundreds of episodes.
4:14
I've coached people through their darkest moments, and
4:17
I've learned one truth that changes everything.
4:21
People return to what feels right.
4:24
You don't come back to what drains you.
4:27
You don't return to what confuses you.
4:30
You return to what lifts you, what values
4:33
you, what makes you feel seen, and that's
4:36
exactly what we're breaking down here today.
4:40
This episode is called How Do We Return?
4:44
The core truth about that, it's not as
4:49
hard as you think, right?
4:51
Let me say this clearly.
4:53
Most people measure success by the first impression,
4:57
by the first sale, by the first event,
5:00
by the first follower, by some other criteria,
5:04
but that's not real success.
5:06
Real success is when someone comes back.
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I had somebody on LinkedIn today asking me
5:13
a question, what kind of trick can I
5:15
do to catch people's attention?
5:19
And like at a party or an event,
5:22
and I said to him, I said, you
5:23
know, why don't you just try being yourself
5:26
and becoming genuinely interested in the other person?
5:30
He's like, oh, John, that's not a trick.
5:32
I said, I know it's not a trick,
5:34
but Dale Carnegie taught it many years ago,
5:36
and we strive to become genuinely interested in
5:39
someone that will last with them.
5:42
When you just try to do something as
5:45
a quick little trick or something, you're going
5:48
to be like forgotten two minutes after you
5:54
do the trick.
5:55
But he was one of these heavy financial
5:57
guys, and he was just from the mindset
5:59
that we have to kind of manipulate people,
6:02
and that's wrong.
6:03
And as a speaker, guys, when I get
6:05
up on stage, I tell the truth, okay?
6:09
I don't try to wow people.
6:10
I just give you my story and tell
6:13
you who I am and create experience for
6:15
you.
6:16
Real success is when someone comes back.
6:19
Return is proof that the experience worked.
6:22
Return is the strongest compliment.
6:24
Return turns interest into belongingness.
6:27
So let me say these truths out loud.
6:31
These are not just words.
6:32
Let me say that again.
6:34
These are not just words.
6:36
These are not just words.
6:38
These are the foundation of everything we're building
6:40
here.
6:41
These are the foundation of everything we're building
6:43
here.
6:43
It's like a parrot, right?
6:44
These are the foundation of everything we're building
6:47
here.
6:50
And this is important to acknowledge.
6:53
Point one, people return to what feels right.
6:57
When something aligns with your values, your core
7:00
values, your energy, your truth, you come back.
7:03
You don't think about it.
7:04
You just do it.
7:06
Number two, return is proof that the experience
7:09
worked.
7:10
If someone returns, it means the first time
7:12
was worth it.
7:13
It means the value was real for them.
7:15
It means it mattered.
7:18
Number three, good moments bring people, but they
7:26
don't remember every detail.
7:29
They remember how it felt.
7:32
And when it felt good, they choose to
7:35
return.
7:36
Number four, return is the strongest compliment you
7:39
can get, likes.
7:43
You can get comments.
7:45
You can get shares.
7:47
But when someone comes back, that's real respect.
7:52
Number five, repeat visits build community.
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One person showing up once is a visit.
8:00
One person showing up again is a community.
8:05
Number six, return means the space delivered value.
8:10
If the space didn't matter, they wouldn't return.
8:15
Return is the metric that matters, not the
8:18
likes, not the shares, not even a ticket
8:21
purchases.
8:23
It's the fact that they chose to come
8:25
back.
8:26
Number seven, people come back for how something
8:29
felt.
8:30
It's not always about the content.
8:32
It's about the feeling they get, the safety,
8:34
the energy, the connection, the belongingness.
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That's the truth, guys.
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Number eight, return turns one moment into a
8:46
pattern.
8:47
One time is an event.
8:49
Repeat times are a habit.
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A habit is where change happens.
8:56
Number nine, belonging grows through return.
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You don't belong the first time.
9:02
You belong when you keep showing up.
9:05
Return is how belonging deepens.
9:09
When you go to an event one time
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and you're on the fence about coming back,
9:13
you don't belong.
9:14
You try it out.
9:15
You're coming back again, you belong.
9:18
The best experiences, number 10, create a reason
9:22
to reappear.
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Great experiences don't end when they're over.
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They linger.
9:28
They invite you back.
9:30
Number 11, return is where loyalty begins.
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It's not about how many likes you get.
9:40
It's not about how popular you are online.
9:44
Loyalty isn't loud, okay?
9:48
It is something that is quiet.
9:53
And I think that's something that a lot
9:55
of people don't realize.
9:58
Loyalty isn't loud.
10:00
There's a guy online that has a slogan,
10:02
out loud something.
10:04
I don't want to criticize it, but the
10:06
problem is when we're trying to be loud,
10:08
we're already going against and we're kind of
10:11
contradicting ourself.
10:13
We're manipulating our audience to be something.
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I don't want to manipulate them.
10:18
I want them to feel something because they
10:22
do.
10:23
Not because of something I'm fabricating.
10:28
Loyalty is quiet, guys.
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It's showing up again.
10:33
It's returning again, again, again.
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Not because you have to, but because you
10:37
want to.
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Number 12, coming back says more than liking.
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You can like something from a distance.
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You can't return without investing.
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Could be time.
10:47
Could be money.
10:49
Number 13, people return to trust.
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Trust is built over time.
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And return is how trust shows up.
11:00
Return is how trust shows up.
11:02
Number 14, repeat connection creates depth.
11:06
One conversation is nice.
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Repeat conversations become relationships.
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Someone say, oh, you know, I want to
11:13
connect with you.
11:14
I want to hang out, right?
11:15
But then they don't follow up.
11:19
That means they don't take action.
11:21
Repeat conversations become relationships.
11:25
Depth lives in repetition.
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Not the one fleeting conversation that you had
11:31
at the bus stop.
11:32
Number 15, return is how groups become real.
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A group is just a name until people
11:38
show up again.
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Return is what makes it real.
11:43
Number 16, the invitation works when people come
11:48
again.
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You can send the invite, but the real
11:51
success is when they return.
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They choose to return.
11:54
Number 17, return means the room mattered.
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If the room didn't matter, they wouldn't come
12:00
back.
12:01
Return is proof.
12:02
Sometimes people show up, but they don't come
12:05
as themselves.
12:07
What I mean by that is they don't
12:08
want to open up.
12:09
They don't want to share.
12:10
They don't want to be a little vulnerable.
12:12
So it becomes hard to build community.
12:15
Number 18, good energy invites repeat presence.
12:21
But it's got to be natural, guys.
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It's got to be natural.
12:27
It's not something you can fabricate.
12:31
You can make somebody feel something.
12:34
But if it's not genuine, it's going to
12:36
be fleeting.
12:37
Like that guy that wanted me to give
12:39
him a trick so he could capture people.
12:42
I had a few tricks, but that's not
12:44
something you do.
12:45
That's something you did in grammar school or
12:49
high school or college.
12:51
You want to capture people.
12:52
So you did something like a quarter trick.
12:54
You did some type of a hocus pocus
12:56
with a coin.
12:57
And that's wonderful, right?
12:59
But is that really you?
13:04
Or are you just learning that to basically
13:06
buy them?
13:09
And the truth of the matter, guys, is
13:11
that's not who you are.
13:13
It's not.
13:16
And when the person realizes that's not who
13:18
you are, everything you did was like you
13:22
didn't even do it.
13:24
Number 18, good energy invites repeat presence.
13:31
Energy, ladies and gentlemen, is contagious.
13:33
And good energy brings people back again, again,
13:35
again, again, again, again.
13:36
You get my point.
13:37
Number 19, return closes the loop.
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You start with an invitation.
13:42
You end with a return.
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Invitation, return.
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See, that's the full cycle.
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I know a lot of people that go
13:50
to an event, don't have a good time,
13:52
and they don't return.
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And there's people that go to an event.
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Let's take college for a moment, right?
13:57
Maybe you were rushing a sorority or fraternity.
14:00
Or maybe you were deciding whether you want
14:02
to be part of a certain club.
14:04
It could have been anything from the Newman
14:05
Club to a variety of other clubs on
14:09
campus.
14:11
And the first time you went, you were
14:14
checking out, right?
14:16
But then when you had the inkling to
14:19
come back and return again, and return and
14:23
come back, that was the payoff.
14:26
Maybe you told another friend about the group.
14:32
Why did people come back?
14:34
Authenticity, truth, being who you are, not being
14:39
afraid to be who you are, having a
14:42
safe space for everyone.
14:44
Number 20, the second time matters.
14:47
The first time is just curiosity.
14:49
Let me just check this out and see
14:50
what this group is going to be like,
14:52
right?
14:53
The second time is the choice.
14:56
The choice is where commitment begins.
14:57
So I don't want to burst everybody's bubble
14:59
saying, hey, you know, I appreciate you came
15:00
out.
15:01
The first time is just your curiosity.
15:05
The second time is when you become part
15:08
of the community.
15:11
I appreciate you've all come back here, and
15:13
I know you were curious and you came
15:15
out, and your curiosity got you to come
15:17
out.
15:18
But it's the second time that you come
15:20
out that builds the community.
15:23
Number 21, repeat attendance builds memory.
15:27
People forget one-time events.
15:29
They do.
15:29
They remember what they keep coming back to.
15:33
I had somebody from a year ago that
15:36
hadn't returned to our events, not because they
15:38
didn't like him, because he moved, because his
15:39
job changed, and suddenly he was coming back
15:42
to an event just last weekend.
15:45
Number 22, guys, return makes the community visible.
15:48
When people return, you can see the community.
15:51
You can feel it.
15:52
You can measure it.
15:56
Not by the likes.
15:59
Not by the comments.
16:03
But by people genuinely showing up and being
16:06
who they are.
16:07
Number 23, the best sign is when people
16:10
want more.
16:12
When someone asks for more, when they request
16:14
more, that's the highest compliment that you can
16:17
get.
16:19
I know a lot of you go to
16:21
events, whether you're in college or other places,
16:23
you're like, John, I don't know.
16:25
I've gone someplace, and if it didn't feel
16:26
right, I just didn't go back.
16:28
Exactly.
16:30
But suppose you were the person organizing, and
16:33
you're like, why do these people not come
16:35
back?
16:36
I'm trying to run a game night, but
16:37
the first night we had 24, and then
16:40
the next night we only had six.
16:44
Those other people weren't really vested.
16:45
Those other people were curious, but they didn't
16:49
get enough value out of your evening.
16:51
I can say the same thing about networking
16:53
events, guys.
16:54
You come the first time because you are
16:56
curious, because you're desperate to get business, let's
16:59
just say.
17:00
Hopefully not.
17:02
And then if you come back again, you
17:05
believe in the group's mission.
17:07
You got enough value out of it.
17:09
Didn't matter whether it was five people, 10
17:11
people, or 50 people, you got value out
17:14
of that meeting.
17:18
That's the key.
17:20
Number 24, guys, return turns interest into belonging.
17:29
I said the first time is about curiosity.
17:33
The first time.
17:35
The next time, you become part of the
17:39
community.
17:41
Interest, guys, is casual.
17:44
No commitment.
17:46
Belonging becomes committed.
17:48
When you ask somebody to take a photo,
17:51
you're with a group, and they're like, oh,
17:53
you know, I'd rather not.
17:55
That means they don't want to belong.
18:00
They were just kind of window shopping to
18:03
see what the day was going to be
18:04
like.
18:06
But they're not really vetted into doing this
18:09
again.
18:12
I call those people users.
18:14
They come, they get the products or services
18:18
or what you promised to deliver for the
18:19
ticket, and then they just leave.
18:25
Don't even want to share a photo or
18:26
anything like that because, no, I'm good.
18:30
Sometimes the people leave early once they've gotten
18:33
what they wanted.
18:34
They don't care what the rest of the
18:35
people want.
18:36
They're selfish.
18:38
People that don't belong in the community.
18:40
Number 25, guys, people reappear where they feel
18:44
included.
18:44
Inclusion is not just words.
18:49
You've heard me say we don't discriminate for
18:50
race, religion, sexual orientation, creed, color, political party.
18:54
Right?
18:56
It's one thing to say the words.
18:59
It's another thing to actually act them out.
19:05
Everyone's welcome.
19:07
You may say that, but does your motto
19:11
stand for that?
19:17
Inclusion, ladies and gentlemen, is action.
19:19
And return is the proof of inclusion.
19:25
People want to come back.
19:29
Sometimes when somebody comes out, they might have
19:32
just been looking to kill the day.
19:35
Maybe you were going to an exhibit.
19:38
Could have been a museum or something.
19:41
And they just were interested in that topic
19:43
or the museum, so they came.
19:44
But they weren't really vetted into your group.
19:49
We have hiking groups.
19:51
Guys come out, they're curious about it.
19:54
But then when they realize that hiking is
19:56
a lot of work, it's not a picnic
20:00
the whole time.
20:01
They may not come back.
20:05
And I think the hardest thing when you're
20:07
running a group, being an organizer, whether it's
20:09
something you're doing socially or whether it's something
20:11
for your company, it's hard to get people
20:14
to come back.
20:15
It is so difficult.
20:17
I find it's not about getting a lot
20:20
of people.
20:20
It's about getting the right people into the
20:22
seats.
20:26
Not because you want to put them in
20:28
there.
20:29
Because they're meant to be in there.
20:32
There's a difference, guys.
20:35
Number 26, return proves the welcome was real.
20:39
You can say welcome, but return is when
20:41
the welcome is real.
20:43
I can detect from somebody right away where
20:48
they're not going to come back.
20:50
They thank you for your hospitality.
20:53
Somebody that leaves early in the group.
20:55
Somebody that barely shakes your hand on the
20:57
way out.
21:01
Somebody that doesn't even say thank you for
21:03
the experience.
21:07
Am I here to judge these people?
21:08
No.
21:10
But certain groups are for certain people.
21:13
And you want to be part of a
21:15
group where you feel belong.
21:17
You remember the show, what was it, cheers,
21:19
right?
21:20
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows
21:23
your name.
21:24
And the people are always glad that you
21:26
came.
21:27
You want to be where you can see.
21:29
The troubles are all the same.
21:31
You want to be where everybody knows your
21:32
name from cheers.
21:37
And when you can just belong.
21:39
And you can just be there.
21:42
It gives you an excuse to want to
21:44
come back.
21:46
Because let's face it, guys.
21:47
Belonging in a group.
21:50
It takes some work.
21:53
It takes some work.
21:56
You've got to basically share a little bit
21:59
about yourself.
22:00
Somebody's got to be a little vulnerable.
22:02
If you're not willing to take one for
22:06
the team, the team's probably not going to
22:09
want to take one for you.
22:10
I'm being proverbial here.
22:13
Number 27, guys.
22:15
Ongoing connection is built one return at a
22:18
time.
22:19
It's not one big moment.
22:20
It's many small returns that happen.
22:24
And one at a time.
22:28
One at a time.
22:33
Genuine connection is priceless.
22:37
Why don't people do it?
22:41
Because they're not honest.
22:44
They're not honest to you because they're not
22:47
honest with themselves.
22:51
Maybe they're on a golf outing with you.
22:55
But telling their partner that, oh, they had
22:57
to work.
22:58
So now they're feeling guilty the whole time
23:00
they played.
23:00
And they're probably not going to come back
23:02
because of that guilt that they left with.
23:06
It wasn't your fault.
23:08
It was their fault for coming and playing
23:12
hooky saying that they were going to work.
23:15
I mean, I think that's just wrong.
23:17
That is just wrong.
23:18
Number 28, guys.
23:20
The goal is not one night or one
23:22
day or one hour.
23:24
It's return.
23:25
One event is a splash.
23:28
The return is the wave.
23:31
Remember the wave like in Giants?
23:33
We all get up.
23:34
We stand with your hand.
23:37
When one person stands up and sits down,
23:39
it's like, okay, that was just like a
23:40
little splash.
23:41
Nobody does anything.
23:42
And then there's another moment where there's a
23:43
little more tension.
23:44
Then they're like, okay, let's really do this.
23:46
Everybody on the row, let's do it.
23:48
And you get the whole row.
23:49
When I do this, you're all going to
23:50
stand.
23:51
And when the whole row does it, the
23:52
other person says, oh, wait a minute.
23:53
That whole row did it.
23:53
We should do it too.
23:54
One guy isn't enough.
23:55
But when there's like a whole row of
23:57
50 people, oh, whoa, the wave.
23:58
Look at the wave.
23:59
It's coming.
23:59
Here's the wave.
24:00
And everybody jumps on board.
24:02
It's the feeling that gets people to participate.
24:05
It's not you saying to do it.
24:07
It's the feeling.
24:08
And they want to feel as if they're
24:11
part of something.
24:12
So the goal is the wave.
24:13
The goal is, hey, I don't want to
24:16
be left out.
24:17
I want to do the wave too.
24:18
Yeah, yeah, I want to do it.
24:19
Oh, it's coming again.
24:20
Oh, whoa, yeah.
24:21
Number 29, repeat presence is how trust solidifies.
24:26
Trust isn't built, guys, in one conversation.
24:28
It's built in repeat presence.
24:34
Repeat presence takes humility.
24:37
It takes honesty.
24:39
It takes respect.
24:41
Number 30, return is the final sign of
24:44
belonging.
24:45
Belonging isn't a feeling you announce.
24:47
It's a pattern you show from what you
24:50
feel.
24:51
Return is the final sign.
24:53
I can look at a group, and I
24:54
can tell you who's not aligned.
24:58
I can tell you who's going to return
25:00
and who's not going to return.
25:04
Let me break this down for you guys.
25:09
People return to what feels right.
25:12
Return is that proof that the experience worked,
25:17
that it felt good, that I want to
25:18
do more of it, right?
25:21
Good moments bring people back.
25:25
Return is the strongest compliment you'll ever get.
25:30
Repeat visits, let me say this again, build
25:32
community.
25:34
Build community.
25:38
Return means the space they were in delivered
25:43
a value to them.
25:45
It made them feel worthy.
25:46
It made them feel as they were part
25:48
of something.
25:51
Do you think people just play sports because
25:53
they just want to throw the ball around
25:55
all day or, you know, they want to
25:57
win?
25:58
Yeah, they want to win, but they want
25:59
to feel part of something.
26:04
Return means the space delivered value.
26:07
People come back, guys, for how something felt.
26:13
Return turns one moment into a pattern.
26:19
And that becomes almost subconscious, like, oh, I
26:21
just love this.
26:22
I got to do more of this, right?
26:26
Belonging, that feeling starts to grow through the
26:29
more return you do.
26:32
The best experiences create a reason to reappear.
26:36
And when that happens, you're like, oh, I
26:38
got to go.
26:38
I got to go to this group.
26:39
Oh, I got to go again.
26:40
I've got to go to this.
26:41
We're going to a trip.
26:41
We're going here.
26:42
I got to do that.
26:45
Return is where loyalty begins.
26:51
It's where loyalty begins.
26:56
Coming back says more than liking something.
27:04
People return to something they trust.
27:11
Repeat connection, create more depth.
27:14
Return is how groups become real.
27:16
The invitation works when people come again.
27:18
Return means the room mattered.
27:20
Good energy invites repeat presence.
27:23
Return closes the loop.
27:25
The second, time matters.
27:29
Repeat attendance builds memory.
27:31
Return makes the community visible.
27:33
The best sign is when people want more,
27:36
return turns interest into belonging.
27:38
People reappear where they feel included.
27:41
Return proves the welcome was real.
27:44
Ongoing connection is built one return at a
27:47
time.
27:47
And the goal is not one night.
27:49
It's to keep returning.
27:52
Repeat presence is how we do trust.
27:55
It's how we do trust.
27:57
And these are important things to understand, guys.
28:02
So I invite you to check out BelieveMeAchieved
28:04
.com for more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
28:07
And remember, when you belong to something, you
28:10
feel a certain way.
28:12
So discern what you want to belong to.
28:13
But when you do, commit to it, okay?
28:16
Have a great night and check out BelieveMeAchieved
28:19
.com or a great day whenever you listen
28:20
to it.
28:20
Be well, everyone.