Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 67: neutralizing the fear of judgment

Transcript

67: neutralizing the fear of judgment · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  I don't need to tell you this twice, but your fear of judgment is certainly holding you back.
• 0:04
  Your fear of what people might say, the fear of humiliation, the fear of judgment,
• 0:09
  the fear of criticism. These are all things that stop us from expressing our magic and our gifts
• 0:15
  and our power and being loud and shining that light the way we might have as a child.
• 0:20
  Just being the sparkle in the room, this light in the room that refuses to dim itself,
• 0:25
  that has not yet been conditioned or programmed to do so, to shrink instead of expand,
• 0:30
  which is, by the way, part of your path in this life is to continue to express and expand.
• 0:37
  And so the fear of judgment is blocking this expansion that life wants to do and experience through you.
• 0:44
  And you are so magical, so divine, so talented, so brilliant, like you shine, your soul is here to be
• 0:50
  a magnet to everything that is in alignment with it, all the people, all the opportunities,
• 0:56
  all the moments, all the memories, all the money that your soul is meant to attract at once to,
• 1:02
  and yet there is this block. So what I want to do for you in this soul session, which is what we
• 1:07
  call episodes within the soul salon, which is my podcast, is we want to neutralize judgment.
• 1:14
  We have this story that being judged is intolerable, like we cannot tolerate it.
• 1:19
  You know that feeling when in the group chat, you get the sense that everyone is talking about you
• 1:24
  outside the group chat, like suddenly it's going silent and you have this deep nervous system
• 1:29
  breakdown that your message is being screen-shotted and you're being discussed or talked about,
• 1:33
  all that feeling that if you post something on social media or you say you're a role that no one
• 1:39
  has really qualified you as, like let's say you want to say, oh, I'm a coach or you want to say,
• 1:43
  oh, I'm actually an energetic healer or actually I'm a poet or actually I write,
• 1:48
  and there's this deep fear that people will be like, oh my god, who are you to claim that?
• 1:53
  Know you're not a writer, know you're not a chef, and so there's so much fear around
• 1:57
  what other people might say about us if we truly claim our dreams, claim our passions,
• 2:02
  claim our light. But what I want to say to you, my love, is the idea that judgment is intolerable,
• 2:08
  is a belief that's actually blocking you from stepping in alignment with your truth,
• 2:13
  power, and purpose. Judgment is tolerable. You can tolerate judgment. It is actually safe
• 2:23
  for you to be judged. I can choose to see judgment as something that is just part of the human
• 2:27
  experience. It's not something that I came here to avoid, oh my word, wait, listen, you actually
• 2:34
  didn't come to earth to avoid judgment. It is so staggering, my love, that you are here right now,
• 2:43
  not only because of what you've lived and survived, but what your lineage had to live and survive
• 2:49
  and fight for in order for you to be here right now. It is staggering, and you know what I always
• 2:54
  find so interesting, we're all on earth, so we don't find it that profound that we're alive.
• 2:59
  We're like, well, look, all these people are alive. But it's staggering how many people are not
• 3:05
  here, my love, and you are here. You have souls conspiring to keep you alive. You don't even know how
• 3:12
  it's happening. You have breath breathing you. You have life living you. You have a heart beating in
• 3:18
  your chest. You have a voice that can express you have language. You can write, you can dance,
• 3:25
  you can sing whatever you do. It is a miracle that you do it and the way that you do it.
• 3:34
  So the idea that you came to this earth plane to avoid judgment of people to me is completely
• 3:42
  incomprehensible. It cannot, I cannot accept that. Everyone who does something meaningful, big,
• 3:52
  that leaves an impact on the collective, writers, dancers, poets, singers, coaches, leaders,
• 4:00
  each of these people, you see the face of their success, right? You see them succeeding. You see
• 4:06
  your favorite writer or speaker or podcast host, your favorite activist, and you're like, oh my god,
• 4:12
  look at them. You don't see all the people in their life that judge them. You don't see the
• 4:20
  conversations they had to have with their parents who completely rejected what they were doing,
• 4:25
  who laughed at their path, who said, you'll never be successful at that. You don't see the friends
• 4:31
  they went to high school with, laughing at them in a group chat, or their fear that that would be
• 4:36
  the case. You don't see the judgment that they had to face. But what is the difference between
• 4:42
  them and us? It's how we choose to respond to the fear of judgment. We all fear being judged.
• 4:51
  But if you can choose to see it as simply part of this earth plane, like the sand,
• 4:58
  neutral. How do you feel about sand? Like the soil. It can be a fertile place for growth,
• 5:07
  or it can be something viewed as dirty and messy and wrong, something that ruins instead of
• 5:14
  something that replenishes. So I invite you to see how can you reduce this aversion, rejection
• 5:21
  you have towards judgment, because we came here to experience all of life. And part of all of life
• 5:29
  is every emotion that comes up and that is your superpower is your sensitivity. The fact that
• 5:34
  you feel, you are part of the collective's feeling, you are part of the collective's antenna,
• 5:40
  you are how we feel. So when you don't express how you feel or express through your art,
• 5:46
  through your offerings, through your music, through your teachings, we are less nourished
• 5:51
  for your lack of expression, because you've been given the gift of sensitivity.
• 5:57
  And you've been given the gift of alchemy. So you are not here to just let the fear of judgment stop
• 6:02
  you. You are here to alchemy that fear of judgment into creation, into expression, into sharing.
• 6:12
  You are here to share. You are the universe's generosity. It is not your job to fixate on how
• 6:21
  and who and why they may judge you. You're rising above that consciousness because the people who
• 6:28
  you see who you admire, every single person that you admire, they are judged. There's probably
• 6:34
  articles about them judging them. There's comments about them judging them. There's so much noise
• 6:40
  around them. And still they continue. Why? They're devoted to something bigger than the fear of
• 6:46
  judgment. They devoted to something bigger than their desire to be liked by people. They devoted
• 6:53
  to their craft. They devoted to their vision. They devoted to their mission. And here's what I
• 6:58
  always say. And it's quite heavy. So buckle up. What I always say when I face the fear of judgment,
• 7:03
  which I faced plenty and which has silenced me in many ways, many ways.
• 7:10
  I say to myself, at the end of all of this, at the end of my life, no one can die for me.
• 7:21
  No one is going to be on my deathbed, dying in my place. It's going to be me.
• 7:31
  And so if I choose to let what people might say about me, stop me from living my truth,
• 7:36
  from honoring my soul's calling, from honoring what feels true to my heart, from sharing my voice,
• 7:41
  even in moments where I feel it's too intense, or even in moments where I feel I'm not saying
• 7:46
  enough, or doing enough, or even in moments where I feel like it's not good enough.
• 7:50
  I say to myself, I have this life. I don't know when it's going to end. And at the end of the day,
• 7:57
  none of those people, friends, family, strangers, connections. None of them are the being that's
• 8:04
  going to be on that deathbed when I die. It's going to be me. So I better honor my truth in this
• 8:09
  lifetime. And so I say to myself, no one can die for me. And therefore, no one can live for me.
• 8:15
  I'm reading this incredible book called The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. And what he says
• 8:20
  is unless we can appreciate death, we will never fully appreciate life. Unless we understand the
• 8:29
  meaning of death, we cannot understand the meaning of life. And we move through this existence,
• 8:36
  the way we're socialized, as unprepared as we are for death, as we are unprepared for life.
• 8:46
  And my darling, life has chosen you. Life has chosen to dance with you. Life has chosen to sing
• 8:53
  through you. Life has chosen to teach through your words, your language, your understanding.
• 8:59
  You have multiple passions because life wants to experience through you multiply.
• 9:05
  Life wants to multiply through you. Life wants its own complexity to be felt and seen through you.
• 9:11
  Life wants to experience expand and express through you. Life has chosen you.
• 9:19
  And you did not survive. Ancestrally and currently to shrink yourself to avoid what someone might
• 9:29
  say about you. And the funny thing is most of the people who are truly judging you,
• 9:35
  like they're really judging you, you probably don't even like anyways. But your people,
• 9:41
  the people you are here to magnetize towards you, they will feel so nourished by you,
• 9:47
  so grateful for you, they will celebrate for you, they will cheer for you. And in you sharing
• 9:52
  yourself, you will attract more of these people. Right into your field, more friends, more
• 9:58
  collaborators. This has been my truth. I cannot believe the depth of my friendships right now.
• 10:05
  And they have come from me sharing myself and attracting sole aligned friends to me. Or
• 10:11
  deepening friendships that already existed because of us engaging with each other at this level
• 10:18
  of our artistry. It's a very vulnerable level to share your work with people or for people to
• 10:23
  get to know you through your own artistry and creation. So it's deepened connection.
• 10:29
  And so we are fixating on the wrong story. What if they judge me? What about all the people who
• 10:34
  will love you? What about all the people who have no other way of finding you and becoming your
• 10:39
  friend, becoming your student, becoming someone who loves your work because you're not sharing it?
• 10:46
  So if you think about the magnetism of your being, like let's say, there is a field of everything
• 10:51
  in alignment with you. How can you attract that field into your being if you are not
• 10:58
  sharing your magnetism with the world in the way you feel called to? So am I darling my love?
• 11:05
  You can hold judgment. I promise you, I know it feels impossible. But you have survived so much.
• 11:12
  Like you are so resilient. Your body is so resilient. Your mind, your soul, your heart.
• 11:22
  You're underestimating your ability to respond. You are underestimating the universe's ability
• 11:28
  to magnetize the exact support system that you need in order to hold you through those moments
• 11:33
  of judgment. Because all those people I mentioned who are judged because they're doing something
• 11:38
  on a big scale. And so you'll always be judged if you share your light with the world. Those
• 11:42
  singers, podcast hosts, leaders, speakers, writers, those people who are being judged, what do they
• 11:47
  have? They have a support system. And I'm telling you now, their support system now is so much more
• 11:54
  robust than it was before they shared themselves with the world because it had to be. And what I
• 12:00
  love about the path of visibility from a spiritual sense is it strengthens your connection to
• 12:05
  yourself because we only rise rooted. You cannot just grow more fruits from the top of the tree.
• 12:10
  You have to rise rooted. And I say this in my free ebook, The Soulful Visibility Guide, which is
• 12:17
  here to support you on your fear of being seen, which is here to hold your hand as you step into
• 12:22
  more visibility as you share your light with the world. So go to my website, I understood.com and
• 12:28
  pick up your free copy while it's available. All links are underneath. We only rise rooted. And so
• 12:35
  the path of visibility invites you to root yourself so deeply. To take care of yourself, to love
• 12:43
  yourself. And because in the book The Hidden Life of Trees, he speaks about how trees are all
• 12:48
  connected beneath the surface. He calls it a wood wide web. I'm forgetting the author's name.
• 12:55
  Basically, they're sharing information and nutrients with each other. So the path of visibility
• 13:00
  is going to connect you to not only yourself more deeply as you root yourself, but to others in
• 13:06
  alignment with who you are actually here to be. It's going to connect you to the most robust
• 13:10
  support system that can hold you in your visibility, that can hold you in your power, that can celebrate
• 13:16
  you in your light, that can dream even bigger with you, that can vision and hold your vision,
• 13:21
  that you feel safe, sharing your dreams around, that you feel safe, expressing your creativity around.
• 13:27
  That is a support system you are meant to have in this lifetime. And sometimes being visible is what
• 13:31
  attracts that support system to us. So the people we see doing things on a big scale, they have a
• 13:36
  team, and they have a support system in their private life. And that is what allows them actually
• 13:42
  to hold the judgment, to hold the fears, to hold the nerves, to hold the tensions of their path.
• 13:48
  And that will be the same for you. You're assuming who's supporting you now is who's
• 13:52
  always going to be supporting you. Some people, that's true. But as we step into new roles and new
• 13:57
  light, it shifts. Some connections will strengthen, some connections will die, and some connections will
• 14:04
  be born, because you are becoming reborn by sharing yourself with the world. Remember fear is
• 14:11
  just an indication that we are doing something in alignment with our destiny. And if we listened
• 14:17
  to fear, and it was up to most of us, most of us would have never left the womb. We would have
• 14:24
  stayed there. We had all our nutrients. It was dark. It was cozy. It was a controlled environment.
• 14:30
  And then we were forced without our consent to leave every being going through some sort of
• 14:37
  transformation, the caterpillar into the butterfly, the tadpole into the frog, the baby in the womb,
• 14:44
  or the fetus into the world. It's painful. There's crying. There's screaming when we see beings
• 14:50
  crack through a shell like an egg shell. Do they look pleased? Are they like, I'm here now. Let's
• 14:56
  call. Let's dance. Let's be alive. They're like, they're screaming. They're wailing because
• 15:02
  transformation can be so painful. Stepping into the light, being visible, stepping into the world,
• 15:09
  it is painful. But does it not unlock so much joy, so much aliveness, so much magic, so much
• 15:15
  pleasure, so much connection? Because if we were in the womb, we would have been so isolated. We
• 15:20
  couldn't talk. We couldn't communicate with the world. Like it was just us and our moms. And we
• 15:25
  deserve so much more connection than that. And so the universe says, okay, you're going to go
• 15:29
  through this portal, which is the womb, and you're going to come out and you're going to get
• 15:33
  to experience life. And that is the part of visibility babes. You will be reborn in the sense
• 15:38
  that you're shifting into a new identity. And there are pains in that shift, but there are also
• 15:43
  the law of polarity for every down there is an up. So while it is painful to transform, to step
• 15:48
  into more visibility, to step into more light, there will be so many gifts coming your way. And
• 15:53
  please try to redirect your attention, your focus, your belief system to all the gifts, the magic,
• 15:59
  the juiciness, the deliciousness that is coming your way as you step into this path that you already
• 16:05
  know is your own, which is the path of being seen. I love you so much, my darling. You are so
• 16:11
  resilient. You are so powerful. You can hold the fear of judgment. You can hold people judging
• 16:17
  you. And you have no clue just how many people you will inspire through sharing your light, your
• 16:22
  gifts, your magic, your medicine with the world. I am sending you so much love and so much support.
• 16:29
  Go forth and be seen, be felt, be witnessed lovingly, devotedly, beautifully. Go forth and
• 16:36
  fully express your truth in this lifetime. I'm sending you all the love. I love you. Bye.
• 16:43
  My darling, my love, my soul sibling. Thank you for stepping into the soul salon. If you are
• 16:49
  still hearing or watching this, we are soul siblings. We are resonating on the same frequency.
• 16:54
  And so something you may struggle with that I struggle with is the fear of being seen.
• 16:59
  You know that visibility is involved in you living your creative purpose and being in your power,
• 17:05
  serving the collective through your gifts, through your magic, through your medicine.
• 17:10
  In order to do that, you know you need to be more seen than you are allowing yourself to be
• 17:15
  right now. I have a gift just for you, heart made for us on this frequency. And it is a free
• 17:22
  ebook called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility. Like we don't just want to be
• 17:28
  seen. We want to be felt. We want to be heard. We want to move and be moved. So I do have a free gift
• 17:34
  for you. And all you need to do is go to my website. I understood dot com. And there you will be
• 17:40
  able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox. This is such a juicy
• 17:47
  and delicious guide. And I change the free offering every few months. So you know, get it while you
• 17:53
  can. All the links are in the show notes. So thank you so much. I love you. And I will see you
• 17:57
  on the next sole session. Okay. I love you. Bye.