Latest / Divas That Care Network / Permission To Shine

Transcript

Permission To Shine · Divas That Care Network

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast for women who are done shrinking, done circling the same patterns, and ready to grow with intention.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: Today's theme, determined, not distracted.
0:45
SPEAKER_01: Because confidence isn't doing more, it's about staying anchored to what actually matters when life tries to pull you sideways.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to introduce today's guest, Reverend Dr.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: Ellen Mosty, founder and CEO of Lightness for One All, a transformational guide, speaker, and Amazon best-selling author of From Simply Surviving to Radically Thriving.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Ellen creates spaces of unconditional love and acceptance where healing feels lighter.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: Transformation feels celebratory, and joy becomes a daily practice, not a someday goal.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: After leaving a 22-year marriage and rebuilding her life from the ground up, she now helps women turn trauma, anxiety, and old patterns into energy, freedom, and boundless energy through her powerful light formula.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: Her work blends wisdom, playfulness, creativity, and deep self-love.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: And today we're talking about what it really takes to stay determined without becoming distracted by fear, habits, or old identities.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Ellen, I'm so excited.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for coming here today.
1:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you for having me.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: It's it's always an it's always great to see you.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: So our theme with the divas that care this month or this season is determined not to distracted.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: What does that phrase mean to you at this stage of your life?
2:16
SPEAKER_01: And how does and how has that meaning evolved over time?
2:21
SPEAKER_02: That's an interesting question.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: So determined not distracted.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, they're just it's so easy for me, especially, to be distracted.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, that is uh a lifelong pattern.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I wonder if there's a lot something else going on.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: And what I've what I've determined is one step of my light formula, and that's gratitude and grace.
2:56
SPEAKER_02: So it's having gratitude in the moment for where I am, and giving myself grace to not be perfect.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: And so I can be when I am distracted, I allow myself the grace of being distracted.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: And then um, for me, it's a matter of keeping that vision.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: So I have a board in my office with the things that spark fun and light and joy in my life, and the things that I'm up to.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: And so when I do get distracted, I can look at that and get back to what my intentions and where I want my attention to go.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: And that gets me determined again to reach out for those goals.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that, you know, that's a great idea because I mean, I'm sure like most women I know, you can probably relate with, you know, how easy we get distracted, right?
4:03
SPEAKER_01: We can have a path that we're walking, and all of a sudden we're finding ourselves, you know, in the ditch or on the sidewalk, right?
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Like we're doing something that's sort of completely different.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: And we kind of look around and go, what do we do?
4:17
SPEAKER_01: What am I doing?
4:18
SPEAKER_01: How did I get here?
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Right?
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Like what do I get?
4:21
SPEAKER_01: How do I get myself back?
4:22
SPEAKER_01: But that's a great idea, right?
4:25
SPEAKER_01: And and I know myself here in my office, it's so easy to get distracted, right?
4:31
SPEAKER_01: There's I so here is the perfect uh, you know, um, blend of personal and business in my office.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure most offices, I got, you know, my business stuff, I got stuff I'm learning, books I want to read, right?
4:44
SPEAKER_01: And then I've got the stuff that I have to be working on.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: How easy is it for us to look at that pile of, oh, I have to balance my money, right?
4:53
SPEAKER_01: Or let's see how much money I don't have today, right?
4:56
SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's so easy to get distracted like that.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: And and that's like, you know, simple things.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we all know the doom scrolling, right?
5:04
SPEAKER_01: We've all, you know, yeah, at some point found ourselves there, right?
5:09
SPEAKER_01: And so when we look back over the years, Ellen, I'm wondering, you know, I mean, you said you left a 22-year marriage, right?
5:16
SPEAKER_01: So your life has been it's been busy, it's been like you've got a lot of stuff going on.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, how did that how did that change for you over the years to to I guess manifest this vision?
5:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh I mean, I don't want to call it a vision board because I don't know that that's what you called it.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: You just said it was a board in your office, right?
5:38
SPEAKER_01: Is that how it is?
5:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just going through life and you're like, how do I keep this from happening again?
5:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a good part of it.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: Um, I also did a program called um learn do become.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: It's a a stepwise approach to getting your life in some semblance of organization.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: I did go through the program early in like 2021 during this pandemic because I thought that was a great time to get organized.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: And I wish I could say that I completely embraced the program.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: My emails are at zero and everything's running smoothly.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: And as you mentioned, I did leave a 22-year marriage.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: I left in November of 24.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I've been in Florida now for over a year, and learning to lean into my intuition and say, you know, what would support me instead of looking outside of myself for yet another package or a program, it's like I've been around a few decades.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: So, like what works for me, what doesn't work for me, what supports me and getting my goals achieved.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: And so that's how the whiteboard came about was having a place that is visual that I can see.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: It also comes out of part of the genius unlocked work um with uh Jen Beninger's uh post-it notes.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: I haven't quite gotten to that point yet.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, but part of the STEP program that I mentioned earlier, one of their things is you do not have more than like six or eight projects going at once.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: And how many times do we all start projects and then add another project without ever finishing the first one?
7:31
SPEAKER_02: And so that's part of what I am working on is I I look to have less than eight projects going at one time and make sure that I finish one before I start another one.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, when you say that number eight, I think, oh my God, eight projects.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: But then I think if I listed them all, yeah, I we're probably I'm probably there, right?
7:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm doing a thousand things.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: It feels like a thousand things at one time, right?
8:00
SPEAKER_01: But this whiteboard, I really like that idea because it it's not just like what I where I'm working towards, it's also what I'm working on, excuse me, right now, right?
8:10
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that's great.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: Now so you had one time described your transformation as uh from anxiety-filled people pleaser to a joyful, intuitive guide.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: What was the moment that you realized distraction was costing you yourself?
8:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh well, certainly the whole people-pleasing perfectionist outside focus.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, actually, for my 60th birthday, I did a self-love eight-week program with Dr.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: Chelsea Page.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: And be prior to that, I had broken my wrist and about a year before that.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: And so my health had this sort of creeping up on my to-do list from you know, somewhere near the bottom to the top, um, because I knew I had osteoporosis and actually had gotten to osteopenia and then uh osteopenia and then not to osteoporosis, and then I've now I've actually got it back to osteopenia, which is low bone density, but not the disease state of osteoporosis.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: So that was one, that was my big wake-up call to realize that the only person that's responsible for this body that's going to be with me my entire life is me.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: Um, because when we're focused on, and so I think there are so many women out there that focus all their time and attention on everything around them, making sure that everybody else is okay and everybody else is taken care of, and they neglect their own self-care.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: And so for me, that's that was the turning point.
10:01
SPEAKER_02: Um was my broken wrist.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: And then from there, the self-love course to to really deepen that connection with myself, my own intuition again, and my own inner guidance, so that yeah, I am putting my care first.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: And then and then from there, you know, I have a lot more joy and energy and excitement for life.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: And then that's where I get to give and serve others from a place of lightness and groundedness and and well-being, versus out of that fear of not being enough.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: Right.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's really unfortunate that we have to go through a health scare, right?
10:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, I mean, you broke your wrist, you know, like I mean, it could have been much worse, right?
10:51
SPEAKER_01: It could have.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, you know, when when something like that happens and you're sitting in the ER room and you're going, How does this happen?
11:00
SPEAKER_01: Right.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: And then you think back of all the years that you were caregiver or you were, you know, always looking outside of yourself to please everyone else.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: And you never got that pleasing, you never got that joy that you were giving to everyone else, right?
11:17
SPEAKER_01: And you look at yourself and you're like, okay, you know what?
11:19
SPEAKER_01: I've given myself to everyone and anyone all these years.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: It's my time.
11:26
SPEAKER_01: It's right.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, and I mean we again finding that balance.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: And it's it's not like an either-or, it's not like I don't care about my friends and my family.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: And it's it's coming from a different place.
11:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, I really love Mel Robin's book, Let Them and Let Me.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, if you're doing things out of obligation, eventually, at least for me, I found, you know, that I got angry and resentful that like it wasn't necessarily coming back to me.
12:02
SPEAKER_02: And yet I realize it's because I was just out of balance.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, like you said, it's not coming back to me because we didn't ask for it.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: That too.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: You ask for the love and the attention that you were giving, right?
12:18
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I mean, it's human nature to just take what's given to us, right?
12:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I get that.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: I get that.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: So, how do you think then that self-love sort of becomes a strategy for women, right?
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm I'm assuming your clients are women.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: So, how do we we be like create like a um a strategy of self-love rather than it being just a concept?
12:47
unknown: Right?
12:48
SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's a great, that's a great question.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of us, you know, we hear like okay, I'm just gonna like phrase it this way as well.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: So we all hear self-love, self-love.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: A lot of women don't even understand what that means, right?
13:04
SPEAKER_01: You know, like if you ask many of your clients and you say, Do you love yourself?
13:09
SPEAKER_01: Most of your women are, I'm gonna assume because I hear it myself, well, of course I love myself, right?
13:15
SPEAKER_01: But if you really take the idea of what self-love really is, are you caring for yourself the way you need to be cared for?
13:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: That's that's a that's a great way of phrasing it.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: And when you ask those types of questions, like what are you doing for your self-care and for your self-love?
13:35
SPEAKER_02: Um that's where most women stop and really have to pause and really think about it.
13:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, I have a fun exercise that I like to do, and it is the self-love high five.
13:49
SPEAKER_02: So it's I love you, I love you, I love you.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: I can do it here with the Zoom camera.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I do it in the mirror every morning and usually every time I go to the bathroom.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: So, and I look myself in the eye and tell myself that I love myself.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: And it's that unconditional love, it's that accepting ourselves just the way we are and just the way we aren't.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: And then you can grow from there and you can make different decisions based on that.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: And what I find is if you don't start with that level of acceptance and that acknowledgement of where you are right now, um you're trying to fix or change yourself.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: Where when you come from that level of acceptance, it's like, oh, you get the freedom to make different choices about how you care for yourself and what you say yes and no to.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know about you, but how many times do you hear the word yes come off your lips and you get this gut tightening or your chest tightens or your body's like screaming no?
15:03
SPEAKER_02: And yet the word coming out of your mouth is yes.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Because so many women have been taught that like we have to be there for everyone, that we can't say no, um, or that we have to explain why we're saying no.
15:17
SPEAKER_02: It's like no's in complete sentence.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: No, that doesn't work for me right now.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: Right?
15:23
SPEAKER_01: When someone says no to you, you get that gut punch again because you're like, Well, I always say yes to you.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Why do you get to say no to me?
15:33
SPEAKER_01: Right?
15:33
SPEAKER_01: Is that for my yeah, I that was one of my you know awakening moments where well, wait a minute, I'm always saying yes to everybody, right?
15:42
SPEAKER_01: Anybody wants me, I'm there.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Why can't I say no?
15:47
SPEAKER_01: Right?
15:48
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I can't, sometimes I really can't, right?
15:51
SPEAKER_01: I make it happen, but sometimes I'm like, this is like I'm overstretching myself, right?
15:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: So I want to-it's that how do you feel when you say yes or when you say no?
16:05
SPEAKER_02: Like if you're going to see family out of a sense of obligation, like, oh, it's the holidays, so I have to be there, or like whatever situation.
16:15
SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously, there's emergencies and there's exceptions to every rule.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: Of course, of course.
16:21
SPEAKER_02: And I think what's really empowering and what allows us to shine our light brighter in the world is by tuning in and saying, Can I do this right now?
16:33
SPEAKER_02: How am I going to feel if I say yes?
16:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, am I going to be joyful and can do this from a place of love and joy, or am I going to do it from a place of anger and resentment?
16:45
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, people can feel your energy, whether you're you may you may have a smile on your face, which is what I did for years.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: You know, put that mask on.
16:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh happy sunshine Ellen.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: And inside that it didn't resonate.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: There was that disconnect.
17:02
SPEAKER_02: Right.
17:03
SPEAKER_02: And so now I'm learning to make sure that what I'm feeling inside resonates through.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
17:11
SPEAKER_01: And you can do whatever work you are out to do at that moment.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: If you're doing it out of love and joy, you're gonna, you're gonna feel that and they're gonna feel that as well.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Right.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: They're not gonna just say, well, Ellen just Ellen just came and helped me.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: Like Ellen wanted to help me, right?
17:30
SPEAKER_01: She was here and gave me all of her, right?
17:32
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's there, and there is a difference, right?
17:34
SPEAKER_01: Um there is a difference.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: I want to talk a little bit about your book.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh tell me again, Let me it's from simply surviving to radically thriving, five steps to unleash unstoppable you.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk about the book, but I want to know one thing, and that's what's the biggest distraction that you think keeps women parked in survival mode?
18:01
SPEAKER_02: I think not giving themselves permission to take care of themselves.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: And to fully love themselves.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: I I really think that that's the biggest distraction is just the societal family religious programming of, you know, I just think a lot of women have been programmed to put other everyone else first.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: And so that distracts from, you know, if you're always externally focused, you're distracted from focusing on you and what you really need and what you really want.
18:36
SPEAKER_02: And to me, that's what it's that fear then of displeasing others, of disappointing others that keeps us um in survival mode.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: And then when you are out there on your own, you don't know where to start, right?
18:52
SPEAKER_01: I've been doing everything for everyone else for so long, I wouldn't even know where to start.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: So tell us a little bit about your book.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: I know, I mean, I don't want you to tell us what the five steps are because then that would like, you know, we wouldn't have to read the book.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: But tell us a little bit more about what we're gonna learn, you know, reading your book.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: So reading my book will again get you through the light formula, which is the five steps to unleash unstoppable you.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: Um and normally I do mention them because I think it's empowering.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: You can certainly delve deeper into each of them.
19:30
SPEAKER_02: It is love yourself first, it's the inner check-in, checking in with yourself.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: The third step, the G is grace and gratitude.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: The fourth step is healthy foundations.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: And I just think if you don't know where to start, um, the H is really a great place to start because that is hydration, nutrition, rest, and movement.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know about you, but in my 30s, when I was working for a pharmaceutical company, my next meal was whatever I was driving by.
20:02
SPEAKER_02: And we know that that's not optimal nutrition.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: And I like to use the analogy of a car.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: If you have a sports car that takes high octane gas, you can put regular gas in it and it will run and it probably will run fine for a while.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: And if you keep putting regular gas in it, eventually it's gonna start knocking and pinging and not running as well.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: And our bodies are really the same.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: You know, our bodies can run on whatever we whatever fuel we put in them.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: And if we want to run at an optimal, at a thriving pace, we know what what we need to eat and what we need to um, how much uh hydration we need.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: And again, I mean, I used to run on caffeine, and now I have one cup of green tea in the morning, and the rest of the time I drink water or decaffeinated tea, because I found that caffeine would like it would spike my energy, but then it would plummet.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: And so again, it's it's that inner awareness.
21:05
SPEAKER_02: Like, how does my body run on this?
21:08
SPEAKER_02: A donut and a cup of coffee is great for about three or four hours, but then the crash that happens at three or four hours, then I'm like, I want to go take a nap or go curl up somewhere because my energy now is at zero.
21:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, so it's like what sustains me?
21:24
SPEAKER_02: What keeps me going?
21:26
SPEAKER_02: And the same with rest and movement.
21:28
SPEAKER_02: I mean, so many women get less than six hours of sleep a night.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: And that's great if you run optimally on less than six hours, but most of us do not.
21:40
SPEAKER_02: I love your friend, by the way.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where my cats are, but they're not walking across my computer skin.
21:47
SPEAKER_02: Um so again, it it is knowing what your body needs.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: Does it need more sleep?
21:53
SPEAKER_02: And that was after I broke my wrist.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: That was one of the things that I did is I I made sure that I was getting set.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Seven hours of sleep.
22:01
SPEAKER_02: Then I upped it to eight.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: And now I've backed it down to seven and a half.
22:05
SPEAKER_02: And that seems to be an optimal balance for me.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then obviously moving our bodies, they're meant to move.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, so whether that's dancing, working out, whatever.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: And then the last step is my favorite, and that is take time for joy.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: And we've talked a little bit about that earlier.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and then to me, that's my caveat for the determination, because sometimes I can get so determined to achieve my business goals or do all the things that I want to do that I lose out on the joy in the process.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: And again, then you're coming at life from a low energy state versus a high energy state of love and joy.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I love that.
22:56
SPEAKER_02: And the other things in my book are, you know, my own personal stories.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Um, so you'll learn a little bit more about me.
23:03
SPEAKER_02: And then the fun thing is there's journaling prompts and there's also journaling pages.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: So in five weeks, you could get through the book.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: It's a it's 135 pages.
23:15
SPEAKER_02: It's not a real long book.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: Um, but they could really get you started on a path to step out of that survival mode and start thriving.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love one small decision at a time, one small decision at a time.
23:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: And so, I mean, I love the whole like the the five steps.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it sounds sounds doable, like it doesn't sound like it's you know, far-fetched or way out there.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking that it would probably help when women need to sort of redirect their energy from old wounds and into like more of an aligned action or at least like a more positive way of living, right?
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Like, let's get out of let's get let's get out of the dump, right?
24:04
SPEAKER_01: And onto the street.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: Let's walk a path of some kind.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: Now you had exactly a long marriage, and then you said that you've moved to Florida.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: So I'm assuming that was a big, big move for you.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: What helped you stay grounded?
24:19
SPEAKER_01: Like that that's huge, right?
24:21
SPEAKER_01: Like that's a big change.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: What helped you stay grounded in focus?
24:25
SPEAKER_02: Really knowing that I was following my heart, that I really wanted to live in Florida.
24:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I came down here.
24:32
SPEAKER_02: I rented a townhouse um for the first year.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: Actually, I didn't have a place to live when I first came down here.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: So I spent a month looking for a place to live and then um moved into a beautiful townhome and just signed another year's lease.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: So um, you know, it's just again, following the joy, following what was lighting me up and being in Florida and seeing the sunshine and the palm trees and the water.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Every every time I look outside, I just I smile.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: When I open the blinds in the morning, I'm happy because 90 some percent of the time there's sunshine out there.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: There's a few days of rain and clouds, but for the most part, it's sunny, it's bright, and I've just met amazing people since I've moved here and gotten you know involved in the community.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, you know, that's the other thing is is getting getting involved where where you are, and you know, it and and if you haven't moved in and you're still and you feel like you're stuck in the same patterns, maybe try taking a class or joining a new group or you know, saying like bring your schedule, saying no to something so you can put something else new on there and see see what the how that how you make how that makes you feel.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: I know that you and I uh we met during some coaching training, and every time you came on the screen, you were on your deck, right?
26:06
SPEAKER_01: And I believe it was like early in the year, like last year, and so here it was cold, we had a ton of snow, and you're standing on the deck, the sun is so bright, we couldn't even see your face, but you were you just looked so happy, and you had purple hair at the time, and I remember that purple just reflected into the sun, and I thought, wow, I look out my window and it's so cold, and it feels so like bitterly cold here, and she's standing on her deck.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: Like I was a little bit envious, I'll be honest.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: I've never been to Florida, I've never been to Florida, so I don't know.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: Well, come on down.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so now you know, like 90% sunshine, yeah, we need to visit, right?
26:47
SPEAKER_01: We need to come and see what it's like down there.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Come on down.
26:51
SPEAKER_01: So, why do you think why do you think that joy is such an important tool in the healing and staying on purpose in most people's lives?
27:01
SPEAKER_02: Like I said earlier, if you've if you've ever seen the graphic where like guilt and shame are at the bottom, there's a cone, and it as you increase the energy and vibration of emotions gets wider and bigger and higher, a high just a higher frequency.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: And when we're living in those higher frequencies, when we can live in joy and acceptance and bliss and enlightenment are at the very top, which are hard states to maintain 24-7.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it just seems like the world, if you've ever had the experience of just coincidences or things just flowing and working out and being easy, I think that that's what comes from living at those higher states of of love and joy, that you just become more magnetic, you attract to yourself what what your intentions and attend attentions are.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: I have a coach that says uh attention.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I better not quote it because I'm gonna say it wrong, but it it kind of came into my mind and then it flew right away.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: But it's about like where you set your um attention, it's is that's where your intentions flow, right?
28:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, where attention goes, energy flows.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: And so, and I mean it makes sense, right?
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Like if that's something that you really want, you're gonna make sure that it really happens, right?
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, ideally.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, you know, we we all have those goals where I really want that, especially when it comes to like health goals, like weight loss and movement, right?
28:49
SPEAKER_01: We all want those goals, but it's actually making them happen that we're where we well, I should speak for myself, right?
28:55
SPEAKER_01: I struggle with that.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: I struggle with taking the action, right?
28:59
SPEAKER_01: And I know that that's and that's part of the self-love, right?
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, how much do you really love yourself, right?
29:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, you're not doing what you say you want to do.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to be healthy or do you want to like live, you know, like because as we age, like you said earlier, our our health naturally just you know, it I I don't want to say gets worse, but we weaken, right?
29:21
SPEAKER_01: And then we can't fight the bad part of the health as well, right?
29:26
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: So now you have a do you still have your business stamping up?
29:31
SPEAKER_02: I do, yeah.
29:32
SPEAKER_02: Right.
29:33
SPEAKER_02: I am still a stamping up demonstrator.
29:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we we've all learned, right, that creativity is is also part of being joyous, right?
29:42
SPEAKER_01: How did you go from, you know, like coaching?
29:47
SPEAKER_01: Um would you call your stamping up a coaching business?
29:50
SPEAKER_01: It's it's a creativity business for sure.
29:52
SPEAKER_02: It's a creativity business.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: It's a it for those of you that don't know, it's a decorative rubber stamp company out of Utah, and they sell rubber stamps, ink, paper, and it's amazing what you can do um with those three simple ingredients.
30:09
SPEAKER_02: Um, most of it, my focus has been over the years of making handmade greeting cards.
30:14
SPEAKER_02: But I have made wall hangings, I've made framed pieces, um, I've done a variety of uh gift packaging and tags and things like that.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, creativity for me has always been something that brings me joy and also allows me to relax.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: Like people talk about being in the zone, that's where my zone is, is when I'm being creative.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: Right.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: And I think, well, and I've learned, you know, over the past few years and having guests like yourself come on, you know, we've talked about creativity a few times, and I think it helps us to sort of quiet down a little bit of the distraction, right?
30:57
SPEAKER_01: It sort of brings us into a world of just this, like let's just work on this.
31:02
SPEAKER_01: It brings up a little bit of joy and imagination.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: And I think, and you can, you know, you can confirm this with me, is I think it also reconnects you with yourself.
31:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
31:16
SPEAKER_01: It makes you realize I like this, right?
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Or I don't like this, right?
31:21
SPEAKER_01: It's not for me.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: And it's that sense of accomplishment that comes from creating something as well.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, so whether you know it's pottery or puzzles or coloring, I mean, whatever that is for you that allows you to be in the present moment, like you said, relax so you're more present with yourself.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then I I think when we're in that right brain too, that's where our creativity lies.
31:52
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes if we are facing some challenges, doing some stepping aside and doing something that's creative can allow our brains to relax, stop worrying and focusing on the problem and allow a creative solution to bubble up.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: Exactly, exactly.
32:11
unknown: Yeah.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: So I wonder, so for women who are feeling pulled in a hundred different directions right now, what is one gentle but powerful way to come back into determination?
32:26
SPEAKER_02: So for me, the first step when I'm feeling pulled in a hundred different directions is just feeling my feet on the ground, taking a breath.
32:34
SPEAKER_02: You can put your hand on your heart and your belly.
32:37
SPEAKER_02: And if you're in the middle of a work situation or a family situation, just excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and just feel your feet on the ground.
32:47
SPEAKER_02: If you can take your shoes off, put your hand on your heart and your belly, just take some deep breaths, and then imagine the crown of your head opening and you connecting to God's source, divine energy, whatever that is for you, um, whatever you think is above or around you.
33:08
SPEAKER_02: And just take those couple moments to just tune in and to take a breath.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times I find when I do that, I can calm my brain down and get out of that survival, that fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
33:23
SPEAKER_02: Because when you're in that survival mode, your brain actually does shut off.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: The cognitive part of your brain shuts down so that you can respond to the immediate danger.
33:34
SPEAKER_02: The thing is, is that most of us aren't in immediate danger.
33:37
SPEAKER_02: It's just we've taken on a lot, or there's a lot coming at us.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: When you said, you know, you're going in a hundred different directions.
33:46
SPEAKER_02: So it's just a matter of stepping back and getting your brain online, getting your heart.
33:52
SPEAKER_02: And so some of you may or may not know that we do have a brain in our heads.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: We also have a brain in our heart and we have a brain in our gut.
33:59
SPEAKER_02: And so it's getting those three brains aligned, getting our intuition online, getting our cognitive brain online.
34:07
SPEAKER_02: And then we can make better choices.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: Or what I like to ask is what's the next action or the next inspired action that I can take that would move something forward.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, so it's not looking at all a hundred things, because I don't know about you, but when I have a hundred things on my to-do list, my brain just starts going, trying to go in all a hundred directions.
34:32
SPEAKER_02: But when I can step back and breathe and say, what's the next best step to take now?
34:38
SPEAKER_02: It seems like I calm down.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: And then when you're focused and present, then you bring more energy and focus energy.
34:47
SPEAKER_02: And then that that next task actually gets done.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you do a better job, right?
34:53
SPEAKER_01: Like you do a better job when you focus on one thing at a time, right?
34:57
SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean that you know, I'm not, I'm not listening to anyone right now.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna empty the dishwasher.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, no, it doesn't work like that, right?
35:05
SPEAKER_01: But it, you know, you've got all these things to do, and you've got a lot of time to do it.
35:10
SPEAKER_01: But and I and I don't know if you find this, but I find when I try to do everything all at one time, nothing gets done.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, just focus on one thing at a time.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: One thing at a time.
35:23
SPEAKER_01: It's not going anywhere, right?
35:25
SPEAKER_01: We know that.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: So it'll still be there.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: But it's not gonna go anywhere.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: So if a listener is feeling today like she's on the edge of her next chapter, but is hesitating, yeah.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: What would you lovingly say to her today?
35:40
SPEAKER_02: So she hasn't moved forward into her next chapter, she's just feeling like there is something else out there for her.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: Is that what you're asking?
35:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
35:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: I would say go for it.
35:57
SPEAKER_02: I I know it can be scary to make changes, um, and it does take some courage.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: But when you tune in and you really listen to your heart and it says where to go next or or what where to step next, I've found that following that, trusting that um has just opened a whole new world to me.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
36:24
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: I want to thank you so much for being here with me today.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: We you bring in so much light and truth, and you've given us all permission to just be okay with who we are.
36:39
SPEAKER_01: And I love that.
36:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh you like it's a it's just a beautiful reminder that the determination that we have doesn't have to feel heavy, right?
36:51
SPEAKER_01: We can do it with joy, right?
36:54
SPEAKER_01: We still gotta we still have to get the work done, but we can enjoy getting it done.
37:00
unknown: Yes.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: And if you're not, then I would highly recommend that you take a look at what that is and and see what you can do about maybe either not doing it or coming at it from a different perspective.
37:12
SPEAKER_02: Right.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for that.
37:15
SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else that you would like to tell our listeners today?
37:21
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: It is that you are all unique, you are all loved, and you are all light.
37:29
SPEAKER_02: And whether you're a night light or a megawatt bulb, shine your light into the world because your light is needed.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
37:42
SPEAKER_01: If today's conversation resonated with you, I encourage you to connect with Dr.
37:47
SPEAKER_01: Ellen and explore her book from Simply Surviving to Radically Thriving.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: Her coaching, creativity circles, and self-love offerings.
37:56
SPEAKER_01: We'll share all the links in the show notes so you can find her easily.
37:59
SPEAKER_01: If Confidence in Bloom is your space for reflection, growth, and aligned action, I'd love to invite you into the Bloom Room, a community for women ready to stop circling the same patterns and start living with confidence, clarity, and self-trust.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: Remember, you don't need to be louder, busier, or more disciplined, just determined and less attract distracted.
38:21
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep blooming.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divashatcare.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.