Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why are some narcissists so MESSY?

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Why are some narcissists so MESSY? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about why are some narcissists
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  so damn messy? Like why are they so messy and
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  don't clean like unkempt, don't clean them after themselves.
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  Hair messed up but blue bananas on what?
• 0:16
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist. Welcome to another episode of
• 0:20
  The Narcissist Code. Bam.
• 0:39
  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:41
  Yes, the messy narcissist. The messy, toxic narcissistic
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  person. Like, why the hell are some of
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  these narcissists so damn messy? Lee, Tell us why.
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  Why? Why?
• 0:55
  Before we hop in today's episode, y'all make sure if you
• 0:57
  haven't already to check out my kids book.
• 0:59
  It's on Amazon, it's called remember it's not your fault.
• 1:02
  Check it out. It's a good conversation starter
• 1:04
  to have those tough conversations with your kids
• 1:06
  about Todd's relationship dynamics, telling them the
• 1:08
  truth, body positivity, loving yourself, all that other good
• 1:10
  stuff. Y'all called remember it's not
• 1:12
  your fault, it's on Amazon. But yes, y'all if y'all had a
• 1:16
  book, hit me with a 5 star review please.
• 1:18
  I know it says y'all tell you about a lot of y'all just their
• 1:21
  review. Thank you.
• 1:23
  But yes, narcissistic people y'all, including myself and now
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  this. And not only narcissists do
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  this. And if you do this, it doesn't
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  make you a narcissist y'all. Messiness is a sign of like
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  being messy. Being like this,
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  discombobulated, leading a messy lifestyle sometimes is a sign of
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  like depression. And are there a lot of
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  narcissists that are depressed? Absolutely, yes.
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  Let's keep it hot. It's just the truth right here,
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  y'all. And I'm not just saying every
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  single narcissist or vice versa, whoever is a clinically
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  depressed person that's just dealing with clinical
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  depression. Now, I'm not saying that at all.
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  What I'm saying is there are a lot, quite a few that are
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  dealing with it, right. There are quite a few
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  narcissists and toxic people that are dealing with depression
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  and they show it through their messiness, right?
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  They show it through their message that messiness.
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  They're, they are depressed, they're not in the mood to be
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  dealt with. They don't want to deal with
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  you. They're not where they are in
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  life, right? What they're, they're not in
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  life where they want to be. So they take it out on their own
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  messiness and things like that, right?
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  That's a part of it. That's it.
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  That becomes a big piece of it right there when you're trying
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  to deal with this type of personality, right?
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  It happens to so many people. It's happened to so many people
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  in these spaces. So again, you can kind of tell
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  when your narcissist is going to like not necessarily being
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  depressed, but going into a depression, right?
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  Because they'll start being messy because they'll stop
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  taking care of themselves, because they'll stop like
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  getting haircuts and things of that nature.
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  Like I'm kind of in one of those spots right now.
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  Y'all can say I have this bandana on, y'all know, But
• 2:57
  like, look at me, I got to get this redone.
• 2:59
  Y'all will see here, it'll be redone the next few days, come
• 3:02
  out to film another course while they fill another course.
• 3:06
  That course is going to be available at mentalillness.net
• 3:08
  or courses.communitythecourses.mentalillness.net.
• 3:12
  You ready to check those out? I have a course up already and I
• 3:14
  also have a support group and whatnot, but you can kind of
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  tell when narcissistic people are in disarray.
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  Their lives are in disarray because they're messy.
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  They don't claim about the decision.
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  No, no, no, let me say this right here, not every single
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  narcissist is going to be depressed.
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  I've actually been diagnosed with clinical depression.
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  I have, right. I have been diagnosed as
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  clinically depressed. I have that that's part of me.
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  That's part of my story, right? And I'm here to tell you the
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  tale of depression. No, that's a big that's a that's
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  a piece of it. But just being a narcissist or
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  just being messy doesn't mean you're depressed.
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  Some narcissists are just lazy as hell.
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  Y'all. Let's just let's get let's just
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  get that out the way. I know everybody was waiting on
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  me to say that leave behind hasn't seen depressed.
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  They just lazy as hell. They just don't clean up after
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  themselves. They just drop everything in the
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  floor. Underwears, pizza crust,
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  panties, tank tops, just socks, hairnets, you know, the your
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  hair, your wig. Me, me and my narcissist, the
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  X-Men. And she used to come out, come
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  home after work and just take her wig off and leave it in the
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  floor. Well, she didn't, she didn't
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  even hang her wig up like a hat. She would just leave it at the
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  floor and expect me to clean it up.
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  And I did because I want to argue.
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  Is that. I'm sorry.
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  Yeah. It's magic coming off, taking
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  you, taking your wig off and just hanging it up like a hat or
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  just taking it off and just twisting around your head and
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  just throwing it on the couch or something like that just to
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  annoy your partner. Some of them are just lazy,
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  right? Yeah, some of them are tired.
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  Some of them would just expect you to clean up after them
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  because they feel like that's your role, right?
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  They feel like that's your role to clean them after them.
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  And they would just want to make your life harder.
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  It's like some narcissistic people are not just, you know,
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  just not depressed. Some of them just want to make
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  your life harder. Y'all they do y'all see, I've
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  seen these videos every so often there's videos that pop up on
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  TikTok with a narcissist and their partner like arguing,
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  fussing and fighting and stuff like that.
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  I mean, they don't be arguing, fussing and fighting.
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  They'll be like the narcissist, the the survivor of the victim,
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  right? Will be like, well, my
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  narcissistic partner just is just the messiest, filthiest
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  person I've ever been with. Like if I don't clean it up, it
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  doesn't get cleaned. So I'm going to show you guys.
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  I'm going to document the house for this week.
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  I'm going to show you guys what it looks like now before the
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  misogynistic, narcissistic people hop in the comment
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  section. We'll leave.
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  That's what they're supposed to do if they're stay at home
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  parents. This person worked as well
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  because she would also go to work, right?
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  Both of them worked 5050, you know what I mean?
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  I don't know how y'all feel about 5050, but 5050 works for
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  them. So she would go home and she she
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  cleaned up. She she showed the video showed
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  the house completely spotless. It was completely spotless,
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  right? And then the day too, like the
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  next day started, the stuff started piling up like dishes,
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  you know, laundry like clothes right beside the laundry basket,
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  like we streak the underwear with streaks in them right
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  beside the laundry basket turned inside, turned inside out.
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  Like didn't even try to cover the streaks up.
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  Water left the streaks in his underwear like outside in, you
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  know, just so the world could see it.
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  He's he went streaking literally and he showed the world that he
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  was going streaking, not even figuratively streaking literally
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  streaking in his underwear. But that's the space that so
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  many people fall into right there.
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  Y'all, I'm just telling you like that mentality, that mindset,
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  that's what happens. They just don't want it.
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  Like day 2, messier, messier message just piling up.
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  Day three, the day, the third day she put him on camera, like
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  she set the camera up watching him come into the house, take
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  his coat off, throw it like the hanger right there.
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  Y'all just left the hanger on the floor.
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  Just do the do the coat on the floor.
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  That was intentionally making her life hard.
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  Day 4, pretty much like a hoarder house by day four flies
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  everywhere and she was just going through it.
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  She's like, I'm just going to show you guys.
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  Look at the clothes like he was putting the clothes on top of
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  the washing machine because the floor is getting so piled up.
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  He was putting the clothes on top of the washing machine and
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  going to sit down in his hoard. He was like starting to hoard,
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  right? Day six, Day 7, like day seven,
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  she filed for divorce and he got she was shocked What's going on?
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  I didn't know you were unhappy. She's like, look how we living.
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  Oh, I you all you had to do was ask me how it helped you clean
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  up. He was doing it on purpose.
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  Like you know how hard, how easy it is to throw something in the
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  basket right there in the wall like he would like she would set
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  him up to put the basket in front of the door.
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  Y'all like the the basket be in front of the doors.
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  You couldn't you, you to get out the door, you had to move the
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  basket. And guess what he wouldn't do?
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  He wouldn't move the damn basket.
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  So it's crazy. And then she fell for divorce.
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  He's he's angry as hell at her, he's mad trying to hold her
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  accountable, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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  Y'all get it. But some of them don't just want
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  to be in your way. Some of them are lazy.
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  Some of them are just trying to punish you.
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  Like narcissistic people when they get messy, they get angry.
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  Like there, there's something going on in their head.
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  They're, they're not stabilized. It's, it's just they're not at a
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  point of being stable, like, like they're emotions that are
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  not at the point of being stabilized and whatnot, y'all.
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  So that's something that you have to consider as well when
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  you're dealing with a manipulative abusive person.
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  That's the type of stuff that will happen to some people.
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  Like you have to understand that this is going to be, this is
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  probably going to be part of your life when you're dealing
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  with this abusive person. I know it can be a frustrating,
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  it can be a frustrating dynamic. It can be a frustrating space to
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  be in, but this is something that you have to get used to.
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  It really is, y'all. It's something that you have to
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  get used to or you have to get accustomed to because that
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  they're right there. You know what I mean?
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  They're right there is going to happen to a lot of people like
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  narcissistic people. And I would like, so I'm being
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  messy because I'm self aware, right?
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  And I'm not, not only am I self aware and diagnosed narcissist,
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  I'm also in therapy. I've been in therapy for seven
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  whole years working to myself. So this is not like I notice
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  when I'm in disarray. I notice when my when my mind is
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  kind of floating around or whatever and I'm not focused.
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  I noticed that so I can course correct.
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  Most narcissists don't notice it and some of them don't care.
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  Like I said, most don't notice it because this is part of their
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  life. Some of them don't care because
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  they expect you to pick a bathroom and they expect you to
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  clean a bathroom. Again, they have these roles in
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  their mind that no matter if we both 5050 you take care of the
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  kids like we both work. You're supposed to take care of
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  the kids. You're supposed to take care of
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  the house and I'm supposed to chill because I'm I'm, you know,
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  of the opposite gender. You're supposed to take care of
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  everything. That's the mindset that so many
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  so many y'all are going to face. You know what I mean?
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  I know people just like what down that sucks.
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  Hey, I know it sucks. I'm telling you that it sucks.
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  I I look, I am own team. This sucks with you, right?
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  But this is something that you have to understand is going to
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  continuously happen because you have an abusive, neglectful ass
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  narcissistic partner. You're just going to keep doing
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  the same thing over and over again because it works for them,
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  because this, you know, this serves them right.
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  So this is the part, this is the point that so many people fall
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  into right here. This is the abusive behaviors,
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  the manipulate, the manipulation.
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  The manipulation works for them. They it serves them.
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  They get something out of it, right?
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  So they're going to be in disarray.
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  And like, if you see your narcissist like start to be
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  messy or they're just like, this is like, I feel like this is not
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  even a red flag that y'all you could miss, right?
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  The if they're messy when you first meet them, think about it.
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  If nothing changes, right? If nothing changes, like I met
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  this person, they were messy as hell, disgustingly nasty, blah,
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  blah, blah, Boo Boo Boo Boo BB, nothing and nothing.
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  You just say, say to yourself like, OK, this person messy as
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  hell and nothing's going to change from this point forward.
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  Am I OK going forward, moving forward with this type of
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  person? If not, you might have to call
• 10:42
  the quits right now because so many people get into their minds
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  that this may, maybe there's a change in the rule, maybe
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  they'll be better, maybe it is, maybe they do that, blah blah
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  blah, Boo Boo Boo BB. You know what I'm saying?
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  That type of stuff happens to everybody.
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  Not everybody happens to a lot of people.
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  You know not. Let me end with this job.
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  Not every single narcissist is a messy, messy, messy bastard.
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  There are some that are OCD and just clean freaks, right?
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  There's some that do this. They they're just clean.
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  You might have got you like you got you.
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  You got your narcissist from the messy bunch.
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  You got you got your narcissist from the messy batch, right?
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  And that's what you know and not fair.
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  But that's the type of stuff that does happen to so many
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  people. Y'all, this this is type of
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  behavior that that exhibited and a lot of people fall into.
• 11:24
  But anyway, y'all, let me get ready to hop off this thing.
• 11:26
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• 11:27
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• 11:29
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• 11:33
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• 11:35
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• 11:38
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• 11:40
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• 11:44
  see you all later. Be safe to care yourselves until
• 11:46
  it misses up peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:49
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• 11:51
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• 11:53
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• 11:57
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• 11:59
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• 12:02
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• 12:04
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• 12:06
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