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Transcript

The Woman You’ve Been Erasing (How to Stop Carrying Everything Alone) · Your Utmost Life

• 0:00
  Misty Celli: It's Tuesday night, you're setting the table, one plate, two, three, and your one short.
• 0:05
  Misty Celli: You stand there confused for a second before it clicks.
• 0:08
  Misty Celli: You forgot yourself again.
• 0:10
  Misty Celli: That's not a fluke.
• 0:11
  Misty Celli: If you're the one who remembers every appointment, tracks what's running low in the pantry, knows which form is due when, and you still can't manage to book your own doctor's appointments week after week, you're not disorganized and you're not failing.
• 0:25
  Misty Celli: Research out of the University of Bath found that women carry roughly 71% of their household's mental load, even in dual career homes.
• 0:34
  Misty Celli: This isn't a you problem.
• 0:36
  Misty Celli: It's a pattern so common it's been studied.
• 0:39
  Misty Celli: The appointments, the forms, the pantry, the social calendar, who's low on socks.
• 0:44
  Misty Celli: When the car's due for service, you are running your entire household's mental load quietly in your head because some part of you believes that if you don't carry it, it won't get done right.
• 0:55
  Misty Celli: So here's what I want you to think about.
• 0:56
  Misty Celli: Whose standard are you actually running on?
• 0:59
  Misty Celli: And did you ever actually choose it?
• 1:01
  Misty Celli: Because by the end of this, you're going to see exactly why that question changes everything.
• 1:07
  Misty Celli: Do you ever catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back?
• 1:12
  Misty Celli: The one who once dreamed big, burned with passion, and had purpose that went beyond meeting everyone else's needs?
• 1:17
  Misty Celli: If you've caught yourself thinking, is this all there is, and then felt guilty for even thinking it, you're in the right place.
• 1:24
  Misty Celli: You were never meant to disappear into your roles.
• 1:26
  Misty Celli: But somewhere between everyone's needs and expectations, you got quieter and quieter until invisible, disconnected, and running your days on autopilot started to feel like just the way things are.
• 1:37
  Misty Celli: It isn't.
• 1:38
  Misty Celli: You are not defined by what you do.
• 1:41
  Misty Celli: You are defined by who you are, and she is still in there.
• 1:44
  Misty Celli: The woman with dreams that matter, a voice that deserves to be heard, and a life that was always meant to include her.
• 1:50
  Misty Celli: This is where you come back to her, not by accident, not by obligation, but by design.
• 1:55
  Misty Celli: Welcome to Your Up Most Life Podcast.
• 1:57
  Misty Celli: I'm Misty, Identity and Life Design Coach for Ambitious Mothers.
• 2:01
  Misty Celli: Before we get into it, if you haven't hit follow or subscribe, do so now so that I've lost myself stops being something you say and starts becoming something you used to say.
• 2:11
  Misty Celli: Let's get into today's episode.
• 2:13
  Misty Celli: You're tired, aren't you?
• 2:15
  Misty Celli: And not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep fixes, but the kind of tired where when you lie down at night, your mind is still running the list.
• 2:23
  Misty Celli: Who needs what tomorrow?
• 2:25
  Misty Celli: What's low in the fridge?
• 2:26
  Misty Celli: Whether you remembered to sign that form or took action on that email, you hear it like background noise that never fully shuts off.
• 2:34
  Misty Celli: You can feel it in your shoulders and neck.
• 2:37
  Misty Celli: That weight that feels like it's crushing you.
• 2:39
  Misty Celli: The tension gets worse when we feel as though we aren't achieving everything we've tasked ourselves with.
• 2:44
  Misty Celli: Like we're failing to meet our standards of excellence and that the system we have in place is broken.
• 2:51
  Misty Celli: So what do we do with that feeling?
• 2:52
  Misty Celli: We fix it.
• 2:53
  Misty Celli: We download a new app, set up the new planner, and create a color-coded system that lasts about 11 days.
• 3:00
  Misty Celli: We try getting up earlier, staying up later, and planning the minutes.
• 3:04
  Misty Celli: Let me tell you, you are not alone.
• 3:06
  Misty Celli: Jiminy Christmas, the money I have spent and the months that I have lost trying to fix the system, reworking the schedule, finding the perfect planner, and optimizing the routine.
• 3:18
  Misty Celli: Because that is what we do, isn't it?
• 3:20
  Misty Celli: We go straight to fixing and we never let ourselves just sit in how tired this actually is.
• 3:26
  Misty Celli: But here's what nobody is telling you.
• 3:28
  Misty Celli: This has nothing to do with being incapable, lazy, or needing a better planner.
• 3:33
  Misty Celli: You aren't less organized, less capable, or less put together than you used to be.
• 3:39
  Misty Celli: The actual cause is something else entirely.
• 3:42
  Misty Celli: The truth is, somewhere along the way, you decided, without anyone asking you to, that you had to be the one for everyone and everything.
• 3:52
  Misty Celli: You feel it, don't you?
• 3:53
  Misty Celli: That weight of being the only one who can hold it all, the only one who knows where everything is, who needs what or what's coming up next.
• 4:02
  Misty Celli: It all comes down to you, but it wasn't always like this.
• 4:06
  Misty Celli: Not long ago, households ran on shared weight.
• 4:10
  Misty Celli: The day-to-day was simpler.
• 4:12
  Misty Celli: They had smaller homes, fewer possessions, and a simpler schedule.
• 4:16
  Misty Celli: Harder in plenty of ways, sure.
• 4:19
  Misty Celli: But the weight of life wasn't held by one person.
• 4:24
  Misty Celli: Nobody was trying to be the sole database for a family running at this pace with this much on the calendar and this many things to own, manage, and remember.
• 4:34
  Misty Celli: And yet, here we are.
• 4:36
  Misty Celli: Bombarded daily with what life is supposed to look like.
• 4:40
  Misty Celli: The birthday parties are the perfect example.
• 4:43
  Misty Celli: I remember when a great kid's party meant streamers, a homemade cake, and your best friends coming from school.
• 4:50
  Misty Celli: Now we're scrolling through photos of elaborate setups, hired entertainment, theme decorations, goodie bags that cost more than the birthday gifts did when we were kids.
• 5:01
  Misty Celli: And the child at the center of it all doesn't even know where to look.
• 5:05
  Misty Celli: We didn't get here all at once.
• 5:07
  Misty Celli: We got here one yes at a time.
• 5:10
  Misty Celli: The bigger house, the fuller calendar, the extra activity, the trip that we're still paying off.
• 5:16
  Misty Celli: Each one made sense in the moment, and each one looked like the right thing.
• 5:21
  Misty Celli: We chased the feeling those things promise that if life looked that full and that beautiful, maybe it will finally feel that way too.
• 5:30
  Misty Celli: And with so many versions, we become overwhelmed.
• 5:33
  Misty Celli: Have you ever sat down as a family and asked, what are we actually running toward?
• 5:38
  Misty Celli: See, when you don't know where you're headed, you can't know who you need to be to get there.
• 5:44
  Misty Celli: So you default to being everything to everyone all the time.
• 5:49
  Misty Celli: That's not a scheduling problem.
• 5:50
  Misty Celli: You know the sentence you've said to yourself or some version of it, even if you haven't said it out loud.
• 5:56
  Misty Celli: If I don't handle it, it won't get done right.
• 5:59
  Misty Celli: And underneath that sits the one that actually runs the show.
• 6:02
  Misty Celli: Asking for help means I'm failing.
• 6:05
  Misty Celli: Sit with that for a second.
• 6:06
  Misty Celli: How many decisions have you made?
• 6:09
  Misty Celli: How many times have you not asked or delegated or rested because somewhere underneath it all, that sentence was running the show.
• 6:17
  Misty Celli: I believed it too.
• 6:19
  Misty Celli: It makes sense, right?
• 6:20
  Misty Celli: You and I both know you've gotten good at this.
• 6:23
  Misty Celli: You know everyone, their patterns, their sizes, appointments, moods, and what affects them.
• 6:29
  Misty Celli: When to talk to them, when to be quiet, what to do, what to say, when to ease the tension.
• 6:35
  Misty Celli: You know how to make them laugh or let them know that you love them.
• 6:39
  Misty Celli: So it's only logical that you can trust yourself.
• 6:42
  Misty Celli: Your knowledge is well built and far outweighs that of others.
• 6:45
  Misty Celli: Nobody can do what you do the way you do it.
• 6:48
  Misty Celli: That's not a delusion, that is evidence.
• 6:50
  Misty Celli: You have paid attention to every detail.
• 6:53
  Misty Celli: You have built a system that works.
• 6:56
  Misty Celli: The system is you.
• 6:57
  Misty Celli: And that's exactly the problem.
• 6:59
  Misty Celli: Tonight you won't be fully present with anybody because some part of your mind will be sorting, planning, and thinking of details.
• 7:06
  Misty Celli: It's always running the list in the background.
• 7:08
  Misty Celli: That's why you're in bed by 10 and still awake at midnight.
• 7:12
  Misty Celli: That's why intimacy with your husband keeps getting bumped till later.
• 7:15
  Misty Celli: Your body is in bed, but you are not off duty.
• 7:18
  Misty Celli: Your mind can't shut down yet.
• 7:20
  Misty Celli: And both of you can feel it.
• 7:22
  Misty Celli: That gap between you, that's not a relationship problem.
• 7:25
  Misty Celli: That's the system still running.
• 7:26
  Misty Celli: That's the immediate cost.
• 7:28
  Misty Celli: But as your coach, I'm going to challenge you to see the harder truth.
• 7:32
  Misty Celli: Everybody that you're protecting from the load is also being quietly told that they can't be trusted with it.
• 7:37
  Misty Celli: Every time you recheck, redo, remind twice, or just flat out do yourself instead of allowing them to handle it for themselves or by themselves, you're demonstrating to them that this isn't theirs to hold.
• 7:48
  Misty Celli: So of course it keeps landing back on you.
• 7:51
  Misty Celli: You didn't inherit that load.
• 7:53
  Misty Celli: You built it.
• 7:54
  Misty Celli: One, it's just easier if I do it at a time.
• 7:57
  Misty Celli: Let's fast forward.
• 7:58
  Misty Celli: Picture yourself five years from now.
• 8:00
  Misty Celli: You're still running everyone's life, handling everything, thinking and doing for them.
• 8:05
  Misty Celli: You're still tired more than ever imagined, and you're still waiting for a version of rest that never quite arrives.
• 8:12
  Misty Celli: Because rest requires somebody else to be able to run things, and nobody else has ever gotten the chance to learn how.
• 8:18
  Misty Celli: Ask yourself, what is right?
• 8:20
  Misty Celli: Right according to whom?
• 8:22
  Misty Celli: Because right has quietly come to mean the way I would do it.
• 8:26
  Misty Celli: And that's not a standard, that's a preference.
• 8:29
  Misty Celli: Done differently isn't done wrong.
• 8:31
  Misty Celli: Think about what you actually want for your family.
• 8:34
  Misty Celli: Your desire is to support and lead them well.
• 8:37
  Misty Celli: And a good leader doesn't do every task herself.
• 8:40
  Misty Celli: She guides, she mentors, trusts, and step back so others can grow into their own capability.
• 8:46
  Misty Celli: So asking for help doesn't mean that you're failing.
• 8:49
  Misty Celli: In fact, it means the complete opposite.
• 8:52
  Misty Celli: It means you trust them and their abilities.
• 8:55
  Misty Celli: It means that you have led well and are present enough to support when needed.
• 9:00
  Misty Celli: Consider how that reframe could reduce your stress, deepen your connections, and make you a stronger leader for your children and strengthen your marriage.
• 9:08
  Misty Celli: A household that only runs on one person's memory isn't proof of your strength.
• 9:13
  Misty Celli: It's a design flaw that you've been calling a personal responsibility.
• 9:17
  Misty Celli: I want to point something out.
• 9:18
  Misty Celli: I said it is a design flaw, not a personal flaw.
• 9:21
  Misty Celli: You are allowed to put it down.
• 9:23
  Misty Celli: Back before I stopped pretending the system was working, I remember this moment.
• 9:28
  Misty Celli: I was around 36, married two kids, and by every measure that mattered to anyone watching, I was doing it.
• 9:34
  Misty Celli: I knew everyone's schedule, their needs and moods before they walked in the door.
• 9:39
  Misty Celli: I was the one who remembered.
• 9:40
  Misty Celli: And underneath all of that remembering, there was this quiet, simple thing I wanted that I couldn't even say out loud yet.
• 9:46
  Misty Celli: I just wanted a moment where things could run without me.
• 9:50
  Misty Celli: Not because I didn't love them, but because I was exhausted in a way that I didn't have words for yet.
• 9:55
  Misty Celli: But deep down in the part of me that never got questioned, I believed that if I don't hold it, it falls apart.
• 10:03
  Misty Celli: This is my job.
• 10:04
  Misty Celli: And if it falls apart, that's on me.
• 10:07
  Misty Celli: So I never handed it off.
• 10:08
  Misty Celli: And if I did get help, truth be told, I quietly redid it.
• 10:13
  Misty Celli: I was the whole system.
• 10:14
  Misty Celli: And some part of me, this is hard to admit, was proud of that.
• 10:19
  Misty Celli: Even as it drained me completely.
• 10:21
  Misty Celli: Then there was one ordinary Tuesday.
• 10:24
  Misty Celli: I pulled up to a red light, running my mental checklist the way I always did, and a silver Mercedes convertible pulled up next to me.
• 10:31
  Misty Celli: A woman was inside of it, sunglasses on, hair moving in the wind, laughing into her phone like she had all the time in the world.
• 10:40
  Misty Celli: She looked free.
• 10:41
  Misty Celli: She looked like she belonged in her own life.
• 10:44
  Misty Celli: And I sat there and I thought, I used to be her.
• 10:47
  Misty Celli: I drove away from that light and I cried the whole way home.
• 10:51
  Misty Celli: Not from envy, but from recognition, because in that moment I finally saw it clearly.
• 10:57
  Misty Celli: I hadn't lost myself by doing little.
• 11:00
  Misty Celli: I lost myself by refusing to let anyone else hold anything.
• 11:04
  Misty Celli: I had built a life where I was needed for everything and known for nothing.
• 11:10
  Misty Celli: Not even by myself.
• 11:11
  Misty Celli: I realized I felt more like a service provider than a wife, mom, or a woman.
• 11:17
  Misty Celli: And I had been the one slowly erasing myself from the family.
• 11:20
  Misty Celli: Now, it didn't fix itself overnight.
• 11:22
  Misty Celli: It took years with small, deliberate reclaiming one piece at a time.
• 11:27
  Misty Celli: I started with something as simple as to remember I existed outside of what everyone else needed from me.
• 11:33
  Misty Celli: And somewhere in that slow rebuilding, I had to learn the exact thing I'm going to teach you.
• 11:38
  Misty Celli: Handing something off isn't losing control.
• 11:40
  Misty Celli: It's what finally makes room for you to actually show up.
• 11:43
  Misty Celli: The load never made me indispensable.
• 11:46
  Misty Celli: It just made me invisible.
• 11:47
  Misty Celli: And the woman at that red light, the one who looked free, she wasn't running from her responsibilities.
• 11:54
  Misty Celli: She just stopped believing she had to be the only one who could carry them.
• 11:58
  Misty Celli: Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to sit down tonight and redesign your life.
• 12:02
  Misty Celli: Nor am I going to ask you to create a vision board with a 10-year plan.
• 12:06
  Misty Celli: Here's all I'm asking.
• 12:08
  Misty Celli: Think of three words.
• 12:09
  Misty Celli: One word for who you are underneath every role you play.
• 12:13
  Misty Celli: Not mom, wife, or your job title, but just you.
• 12:17
  Misty Celli: That part of you that existed before any of those roles and will still be there after.
• 12:23
  Misty Celli: Then one word for what actually lights you up.
• 12:26
  Misty Celli: Not what you're good at or what's useful to someone else, but what you would do simply because you wanted to.
• 12:33
  Misty Celli: And then one word for what you want your future to feel like, not look like, but feel like.
• 12:39
  Misty Celli: That's it.
• 12:40
  Misty Celli: 30 seconds.
• 12:41
  Misty Celli: You don't have to say it to anyone, write a paragraph about it, or figure out what to do with it yet.
• 12:46
  Misty Celli: And I know some part of you is sighing because you've been here before.
• 12:51
  Misty Celli: You've journaled it, meant it, but by Thursday it was buried under the form you needed to fill out and the dinner you had to figure out.
• 12:58
  Misty Celli: And it just got filed under one more thing that didn't stick.
• 13:01
  Misty Celli: This isn't that.
• 13:03
  Misty Celli: This isn't a habit you have to maintain or a routine you have to protect.
• 13:07
  Misty Celli: It's a single moment of remembering.
• 13:10
  Misty Celli: And remembering doesn't fail the way a routine can.
• 13:14
  Misty Celli: You don't have to keep it alive.
• 13:16
  Misty Celli: You just have to let it happen once.
• 13:19
  Misty Celli: That's the one small, simple step today that just gave you a win.
• 13:24
  Misty Celli: You answer even one question.
• 13:27
  Misty Celli: You just did the thing.
• 13:29
  Misty Celli: You just won by reconnecting even for a second with one word.
• 13:33
  Misty Celli: Now, here's where it gets harder.
• 13:35
  Misty Celli: And as your coach, I have to be honest with you, so we can get through it.
• 13:38
  Misty Celli: You deserve that more than you deserve another soft landing.
• 13:42
  Misty Celli: The truth is, handing something off for the first time rarely goes well.
• 13:46
  Misty Celli: Someone forgets, someone does it later, messier, not quite the way you would have.
• 13:51
  Misty Celli: And it is so easy and completely understandable to want to take that as proof.
• 13:56
  Misty Celli: See, I really am the only one who can hold all of this.
• 13:59
  Misty Celli: If I had just handled it myself, we wouldn't be here now.
• 14:03
  Misty Celli: Everything would have been handled.
• 14:04
  Misty Celli: But what if, instead of accepting it as proof, you saw it as your first opportunity to lead, to impart a technique, a standard, a way of looking at it.
• 14:14
  Misty Celli: They haven't had much practice yet, and honestly, neither have you in this role.
• 14:18
  Misty Celli: And that includes you as the leader and supporter.
• 14:21
  Misty Celli: Here's the harder truth underneath that, and it's worth saying plainly.
• 14:25
  Misty Celli: Some part of you isn't actually protecting the system.
• 14:28
  Misty Celli: It's protecting the evidence.
• 14:30
  Misty Celli: As long as nothing runs without you, you never have to find out whether you'd still matter if you weren't the one doing everything.
• 14:36
  Misty Celli: That's the real fear, isn't it?
• 14:38
  Misty Celli: Not will it get done, but it's what does it mean about me if I'm not needed for all of it?
• 14:44
  Misty Celli: And maybe it's quieter than that fear.
• 14:47
  Misty Celli: You've never said the whole list out loud, not to your husband, not to anyone.
• 14:51
  Misty Celli: So you genuinely don't know where yours ends and just life begins.
• 14:57
  Misty Celli: That's not confusion.
• 14:58
  Misty Celli: That's just how invisible this has gotten, even to you, which is exactly why the first step isn't handing off the whole system.
• 15:05
  Misty Celli: It's saying one piece of it out loud.
• 15:08
  Misty Celli: Imagine tonight at dinner or in the car or lying in bed, you name one thing that has been living only in your head.
• 15:15
  Misty Celli: Not the whole list, but just one piece of it.
• 15:19
  Misty Celli: How might your connections deepen if you communicated from truth instead of fear?
• 15:24
  Misty Celli: That's it.
• 15:24
  Misty Celli: That's the whole ask today.
• 15:26
  Misty Celli: You don't have to trust the whole system yet.
• 15:29
  Misty Celli: You just have to trust one sentence.
• 15:31
  Misty Celli: Let's look at the stakes if this stays exactly as it is.
• 15:34
  Misty Celli: Not a missed appointment, but another year of being the only one who knows where everything is.
• 15:40
  Misty Celli: Another year of rest that never quite arrives because rest requires somebody else to be able to run things and nobody's been given the chance to learn how.
• 15:48
  Misty Celli: The three words proved you're still in there.
• 15:51
  Misty Celli: The one sentence starts letting other people in.
• 15:54
  Misty Celli: And if this felt like the first real breath you've taken in a while, good.
• 15:58
  Misty Celli: That's exactly where we're starting.
• 16:01
  Misty Celli: You're bracing yourself for the catch, aren't you?
• 16:03
  Misty Celli: Like wanting an actual life, not just a well-run one, is too much to ask for.
• 16:08
  Misty Celli: I promise you it isn't.
• 16:10
  Misty Celli: You are allowed to want to be known, not just needed.
• 16:13
  Misty Celli: Those three words from earlier aren't just about remembering yourself.
• 16:17
  Misty Celli: They become the standard.
• 16:19
  Misty Celli: Meaning, next time a request lands in your lap, before the automatic yes, you check it against those three words.
• 16:26
  Misty Celli: Not against your guilt or everyone else's needs, but against who you actually are.
• 16:31
  Misty Celli: See, the world tells us we just need a better system.
• 16:34
  Misty Celli: So that's why we go straight to building the solution before we've ever actually surveyed what's true.
• 16:40
  Misty Celli: We get the planner, we download the app and put together a new schedule, but it's all building a life that nobody ever stops to question.
• 16:47
  Misty Celli: Is this what I actually want for my life?
• 16:50
  Misty Celli: It's like me living in Houston and deciding I want to go on vacation up north.
• 16:54
  Misty Celli: So I buy the new Atlas.
• 16:56
  Misty Celli: Yes, I love those.
• 16:58
  Misty Celli: And I download the Where Do We app, buy all the things, hop in the car, grab a journey, and I take off.
• 17:05
  Misty Celli: But 60 minutes later, I'm at the downtown aquarium disappointed.
• 17:10
  Misty Celli: My journey was based on someone else's trip that took them from Nebraska to Houston.
• 17:15
  Misty Celli: Mine just ended up wasting my time, energy, and money going somewhere I never actually wanted to go.
• 17:20
  Misty Celli: Putting any plan into your life that wasn't designed for you by you is why it never holds.
• 17:27
  Misty Celli: You can't design a solution to a load that you've never named out loud.
• 17:32
  Misty Celli: So here's where we actually start.
• 17:33
  Misty Celli: Those three questions you answered earlier, that wasn't a journaling exercise.
• 17:38
  Misty Celli: That was step one.
• 17:39
  Misty Celli: That was you surveying.
• 17:41
  Misty Celli: And in my framework, that's called discover.
• 17:44
  Misty Celli: Then comes design, where you engineer who holds what on purpose instead of defaulting to whoever's fastest, which has always just been you.
• 17:54
  Misty Celli: Then and only then, do where you build it.
• 17:57
  Misty Celli: Not perfectly, not all at once, but by design and on purpose.
• 18:01
  Misty Celli: Skip straight to do without ever surveying and designing first, and you're right back to where you started.
• 18:06
  Misty Celli: Just with a nicer color-coded planner.
• 18:09
  Misty Celli: Now, picture this.
• 18:10
  Misty Celli: Same family five years from now.
• 18:12
  Misty Celli: It's a Tuesday.
• 18:13
  Misty Celli: Your husband is at the appointment he scheduled and remembered himself.
• 18:17
  Misty Celli: Your child has filled out the form, submitted the payment, and is managing her own college semester because she's learned she's trusted and capable.
• 18:25
  Misty Celli: And you are at lunch with a friend, cool drink in hand, talking about the book you just finished.
• 18:30
  Misty Celli: Your days aren't less full.
• 18:31
  Misty Celli: They're just shared.
• 18:32
  Misty Celli: And that night, after real conversations about each other's day, their wins, challenges, the actual person sitting across from you, you fall asleep.
• 18:41
  Misty Celli: Not because the weight of life has disappeared, but because you aren't holding it alone.
• 18:46
  Misty Celli: Do you see her?
• 18:47
  Misty Celli: That woman isn't the one who's been running the whole household from memory, silently disappearing into it.
• 18:52
  Misty Celli: That's an utmost woman.
• 18:54
  Misty Celli: And she has been in you this whole entire time.
• 18:56
  Misty Celli: An utmost woman is never the one who handles it all flawlessly, exhaustedly alone.
• 19:02
  Misty Celli: She is the woman who leads her life from identity, who designs it on purpose, who ends the day knowing she was congruent with herself.
• 19:09
  Misty Celli: Even if the season was busy, the plan shifted and the day wasn't perfect.
• 19:13
  Misty Celli: The outcome was never the point.
• 19:15
  Misty Celli: That was never utmost.
• 19:17
  Misty Celli: That was just invisible, dressed up as capable.
• 19:20
  Misty Celli: Utmost is your fullest, most intentional effort for the season you're actually in.
• 19:24
  Misty Celli: It's you picking it on purpose instead of carrying it out of fear.
• 19:28
  Misty Celli: And that woman, she's been waiting.
• 19:31
  Misty Celli: She just needed someone to ask her three questions.
• 19:34
  Misty Celli: So here's what we do next.
• 19:36
  Misty Celli: Not later, not when things settle down, but now.
• 19:39
  Misty Celli: A free resource is waiting for you.
• 19:41
  Misty Celli: Linked in the show notes and at yourutmost.com forward slash starter.
• 19:46
  Misty Celli: It is designed to help you recognize and reconnect with the woman beyond the roles.
• 19:50
  Misty Celli: So you follow through without self-sacrifice, make decisions without guilt, and show up as yourself every single day.
• 19:56
  Misty Celli: It's the same size step as the three words, just the next one.
• 20:00
  Misty Celli: Before you go, I want to give you something to carry with you.
• 20:03
  Misty Celli: Say this out loud if you can, or quietly if that's all you can do right now.
• 20:07
  Misty Celli: Repeat after me.
• 20:08
  Misty Celli: I am more than my roles.
• 20:11
  Misty Celli: I am someone worth being known.
• 20:14
  Misty Celli: Say it again if you need to.
• 20:15
  Misty Celli: Let it land.
• 20:16
  Misty Celli: That's not a wish, that's a decision.
• 20:19
  Misty Celli: Now, I know what happens next.
• 20:21
  Misty Celli: You'll close this episode, move into the rest of your day, and at some point a quiet voice is going to say, See, you'll never change.
• 20:28
  Misty Celli: When that voice shows up, and it will, here's what's true.
• 20:32
  Misty Celli: You just spent this time on yourself, not on what someone else needed, but on you.
• 20:37
  Misty Celli: That's not nothing.
• 20:38
  Misty Celli: That is an utmost woman deciding she is worth the time.
• 20:42
  Misty Celli: The next step doesn't have to be big.
• 20:44
  Misty Celli: It just has to be yours.
• 20:45
  Misty Celli: And one last thing.
• 20:46
  Misty Celli: If this episode landed for you, share it with one woman who needs to hear it.
• 20:50
  Misty Celli: You already know who she is.
• 20:52
  Misty Celli: She's the one who's doing everything, holding it all in, and probably hasn't said it out loud in a while that she's tired.
• 20:58
  Misty Celli: Send it to her.
• 20:59
  Misty Celli: That's an utmost woman looking out for another one.
• 21:01
  Misty Celli: Grab the free resource that is waiting for you.
• 21:04
  Misty Celli: Recognize and reconnect with the woman beyond the role so you follow through without self sacrifice, make decisions without guilt, and show up as yourself every single day.
• 21:13
  Misty Celli: Links in the show notes or at yourutmost.com forward slash starter.
• 21:18
  Misty Celli: Remember, you are more than everyone's everything.
• 21:23
  Misty Celli: You are someone.