Latest / The MeatEater Podcast / Ep. 367: Communicating with the Wives of MeatEater

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Ep. 367: Communicating with the Wives of MeatEater · The MeatEater Podcast

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: This is Me Eater podcast coming at you shirtless, severely
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: bug bitten in my case underwear. Listening to podcast, you
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: can't predict anything presented by First like creating proven versatile
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: hunting apparel from Marino bass layers to technical outerwear for
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: every hunt. First Light, go farther, stay longer, tell me
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: one of the machines on Phil, She was, honestly, Uh,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: you know, I just did a bunch of math in
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: my head, but I screwed it up because I wasn't
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: thinking about how Karen and Phil aren't married well each other.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: This room is full of married we are not. This
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: room is full of married people. There's ten married people
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: in this room. But I was accounting couples and I
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: kind of filling crane as a couple, and then realize
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: that that four point eight of us will end up divorced,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: not me, as my friend Ronnie wants. My friend Ronnie said,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lose half my ship. So you're
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: making Danielle rubbing her belly. She's rubbing her belly. But
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: you'll be glad to hear this. I just learned that.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: You know, everybody says half of all marriages end divorce.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: That's because like a repeat offenders. So yeah, the repeat
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: offenders blow the statistic because every time you get every
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: time you get married, you have a much higher likelihood
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: of divorce. Like you if you if you get married
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: your first time you get divorced, it's like you go
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: into it being like, oh, now I'm gonna settle in
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: for real. No, the next time, it's even better chances
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: that you'll get divorced. I'm not going to mention names,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: but I know that a few that have skewed those numbers.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: But they think that they're they think they're like getting
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: to the real one now, but they're not. They're getting there.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: They're stepping into hotter waters than they were in a
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: minute ago with their last marriage. So I was, uh,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: what's what's this when you mean when you find out
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: something good? Heartened? Is that a word heartened? I was
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: hartened to learn that only four point eight of us, well, no,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: that's if you guys were married. I was harten to
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: learn that only four of us are gonna wind up divorced.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: H But if someone said I'm gonna come in here,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: if someone said I'm gonna come in this room and
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: shoot for you, I'd be nervous as ship. It's got
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to differ on like demographics though. Yeah, Indiana and Louisiana
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: lowest divorce rates. Oklahoma of all places in Nevada obviously
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: highest divorce and I would imagine that boomers are leading
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: the charge on divorces. No, it's going to because younger
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: people are getting married and not getting divorced. We're here,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: like Gen Z and millennials, living in sin before we
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: get married, and so we like suss out whether or
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: not it's gonna work where it's your generation was doing
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: less of living and we're not boomers. Buddy, what are
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: you why? X? I'm sorry, man, I lived in a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: lot of sin. Man. I know I'm older than any spencer,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: but come on, how far from being a boomer are you?
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Quite a way? I'm sorry, then that's not I don't know.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: What are you like? The greatest generation? X? Man? The
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: greatest generation? I mean, yeah, I mean the great generation.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I was like my old man, greatest movie music. The
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: guys have fought in whiskey. Whiskey too. Yeah, boomers are
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: about seventy ish. I think now you might be sitting
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: there ask yourself, why are all these married people talking
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: and why did this? Um? Uh, why did my thing
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: that tells me I got a new podcast? If I'm
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: a subscriber to the Meter podcast, why did it say, like, hey,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you got a podcast on a not normal day, like
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: right now. On Mondays you get um the show. On
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Wednesdays you get the trivia show. But now I don't
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: tell day it is either way. Uh. Four out of
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: four out of ten marriages and in divorce, two out
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: of seven days will not have this podcast delivered. It's
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: not Monday or Wednesday. Um. The reason that is is
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: because we we have we struck a special deal with
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: T Mobile to explain, as my lovely wife, he's never
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: been on the show before. I feel like me not
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: having a my own microphone is going to get real
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: awkward at some point when I'm pulling the microphone away
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: from you. Yeah, this this podcast brought to you by
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: T Mobile, So we're doing a special one just for them.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: So that's why it's here now. Uh. And then the
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: thing is we're gonna talk lead. Okay, you know what
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: else I found out doing my my three seconds of
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: research about divorce. I guess what the highest divorce months
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: are January February January. Why January February, Seasons winding Down,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Chickens come home to roost. Uh. So we're we're gonna
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: we're doing a special episode where we have a bunch
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: of people, UM, and we talked. We're talking about how
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: not to get divorced because of how to live how
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: to live an outdoor lifestyle and avoid the UM a
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: travel intensive outdoor lifestyle where one or both participants in
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: a marriage engage and activity that like causes a lot
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: of being gone, a lot of things that feel extremely
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: important that probably aren't that important, and just like a
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: lot of marital strife, relationship strife, marriage or not. UM,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I can tell you, I can tell you totally straight
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: face that it has that that that ship, the hunting
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: stuff has caused problems in my relationship, UM since day one?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Explain that how is hunting caused a problem in our relationship?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Just being gone and having like this thing that seems
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: super important. You know, it's just like it just causes complications.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: You don't agree that it does. This is gonna lead
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: into my this is gonna lead into the main thing here,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: my wife's lab my wife's speechlessness. When I said that
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: the reason that we brought Spencer, and Spencer is gonna
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: ask questions because this way you can like right. Steve's
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: words were he wanted me to guide to see the
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: talking points because he has a lot to say, which
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: is good because it will make up for Katie and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I want and as much so we have. We have
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: five couples to talk about. And when we talked about this,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: we talked about we brought up a term that no
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: one likes and that I pointed, I've never used my
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: entire life, but there's this term like it gets bandied about, um,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: hunting widow. Okay, and then Spencer is telling me that
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Shelby grew up because you grew up an egg and
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you grew up with what kind of widow? Harvest widow,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: which sounds like a machine. It does. Um. I would
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: say I had never heard of a hunting widow prior
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: to this either, But harvest widow, for those of you
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: that don't know, it's a partner of a farmer who
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: essentially lives their life as a widow from September to
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: November because their partners are gone. Growing up, I would
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: go weeks with just seeing my dad and passing um.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Even though he was only a mile or two away
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: from me at any given point. Uh, he just had
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: no schedule whatsoever. Um. And I think that's been the
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: biggest difference between a hunting widow and a harvest widow
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: is at least I have some idea where and when
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Spencer is. And the other difference probably is that there's
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: sort of this like yet to feed the whole nation
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and like a lot of pressure. Yeah you know what
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's like this whole like who can argue
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: with someone like harvesting crops? Yeah, and it's just like
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: it's like the most sort of foundational thing that can't
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: be ignored, right, and it's so dependent on so many factors. Right.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: So my dad farms with his brothers, but then once
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: they're done harvesting, he goes and he helps all the
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: other family farmers and he's driving truck or he's uh,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: they're like bringing crop pots of chili over for their friends.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: And um, just because you're on on your land doesn't
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: mean harvests. Why did you explained that, Because I think
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: a lot of people be like, well, how big if
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: a farm is he? But yeah, like they basically there's
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: like one combine that serves could serve hundreds of farms. Absolutely,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: my my dad. They own their combine, but everyone in
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: like twenty miles uses their combine. So it's everyone's taking
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: their turns. And then once that's none, it's cabine. So
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: there very busy. Then you're a cow widdow. Yes, uh
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Brody and um carry did you take Brody's name? I did? Nice? Yeah,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: only partially though, because she picks and chooses. You found,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: you found offense with the word, you take offense at
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: the term hunting wid It just makes me cringe it
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  Speaker 1: just because it makes you seem helpless or what it does.
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  Speaker 1: It kind of comes with that that it just has
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: that feeling of something that maybe I don't have a
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: say in. It's like a sort of like, oh, I'm
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: a helpless sort of you know at home with the kids.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: You know, everybody should sympathize for me, but I don't.
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  Speaker 1: I don't really think that. That's how I think of
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  Speaker 1: the whole thing. I mean, the whole hunting and outdoors
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: saying is something we do as a family, and I
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: don't know we do okay, you know, when he's gone.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: It's not a it's not a huge inconvenience I'm not
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: saying that very well, but um, honest, is here with
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: his wife, Jennifer. Jennifer had you had to take on
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: being a hunting widow. You thought it sells, it sells
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: guys short, Well, I mean, yeah, I guess you look
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: at the flip side of that. And uh, when I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: leave for work, you know, I kind of expect him
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: to hold the fore doown and he does. He does. Okay,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: there's no toilet skin clean, but uh, that's that's all right.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You know, the kids are probably fed better than when
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I'm there, and they're alive, so we're doing doing pretty good,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I think on that front. And no one says you're
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: a work widower. No, that's yeah. And I did it
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: to him for quite a few years left in the
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: summer before we had kids. And then uh, Kelsey, um,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: our favorite wildlife artist is here, sans seth. Yeah, Danielle
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: and I are currently being widowed. And Chester's wife Danielle
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: is here very pregnant and is currently widowed. And uh,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: how's your Kelsey's an artist? Danielle as a photographer wedding photographer?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Is that wine and dollar kicking ass right now? It's
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: kicking ass? But I see a lot of marriages, and
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I see a lot of you know, that's my job
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: is to see witness's good for your business. Do you
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: do you go to something, Do you go to photograph
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: some weddings and think there's no way these people should
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: be getting married? Um? I think. I think, honestly, I've
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: noticed in a couple of weddings that yeah, not just
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: like oh, they shouldn't be married, but like you can
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: kind of can you can kind of tell the connection
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: and like, especially when I'm photographing them one on one, Um,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: it's just super you can kind of tell the couple
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: that just are some I'm really bad with words, but
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: there and like it makes it's just like I'm just
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: there and I get to really document them just being
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: themselves versus there's other people that still have chemistry but
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: just need more guidance with like intimacy and like how
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: to be intimate in a photo without being intimate, you know,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: in a way. So I don't know what that means.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I don't either. I have also photographed some weddings, and
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest indicators that I've noticed,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Granted I have not seen any of these people actually
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: get a divorce, but it's how much they fake it
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: for the photos. Yes, you will see so much. That's
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: what I was trying to get out. You can kind
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: of tell like the true genuine like wow, these guys
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: are meant for each other. And then also you can
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: tell like maybe a year, maybe two years, right. And
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I haven't really experienced a lot of it because a
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: lot of my couples have just been awesome and like
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: very much there and present, which is amazing. But I
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: have a question based on Steve statistic. Have you ever
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: photographed a couple and then later photographed one of the
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: couple with a different spouse. No, but I have photographed
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: a wedding and then they broke up that night. So
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: the night of the wedding, Yeah, it's happened. I mean
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: like it happens like great reds. We have a great joke, man,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you about it so bad. I'll
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: tell you the punchline. He's so drunk he thinks he's me.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's not funny when you when you tell about jokes
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: and you don't tell the joke. That's his new things.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: You know what. I give those people props for that
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: evening to know that you know what, let's not drag
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: this out for a year or two. Like, yeah, I
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: give him props for being able to party. Did everybody
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: know that night that they were splitting up? No, it
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: was very like what okay, But like I think that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of things that were happening behind trip.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: So you don't think it was because of the photography session.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think it was my job, no, but I
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: mean I kind of called it. I just had a
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: feeling because that there was something going on and it
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: wasn't you know, it wasn't anything I could do to
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: help it. Because a lot of times brides get nervous,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: which is normal, and I could kind of flip them.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I can kind of make them feel at ease and
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: confident that they don't have to worry about a lot
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: on their day because a lot of people are more
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: nervous about the wedding than the marriage, like oh my god,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I have to host this party and versus like being
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: more nervous like wow, like this is my person forever
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and like it's true. Even before Chester and I decided
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: to get married, Um, we talked about our different lifestyles work.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I don't hunt, but he does. And when we first
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: started dating, he said that just so you know, this
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: is my main thing. It was fishing and hunting because
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: he used to be a fishing guy. So he was
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: gone all summer and he's like, if you can't handle this,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: and I can't change. And so we went through a
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: lot of tests, trial runs. We broke up a couple
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: of times, and when we got married, I accepted him
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: for who he was and I loved him for you
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: know what he does. I can't tell him what not
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: to do, and because then he won't be the same person,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: you know. But then I have my things that I
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: love to do that he doesn't like. So we kind
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: of like balance each other out in a way, So
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I don't I hope that was the answer to your question.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: You're not gonna like what I'm gonna say next, because
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: it be very bad for your business. My advice to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: people getting married is don't have a um, I don't
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: have a wedding. Yeah, weddings can be very stressful. I mean,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I love allotments to like I photographed a handful of allotments,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: and I love the intimacy of like they still want
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: to like have a really good they're there for each other,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: you know, not just for the party. Um, but I
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: mean I do see I see both sides on that too,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: you know. Obviously for my job, it's I loved what
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I do, so I love being able to be a
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: part of a wedding that's excited to have it be
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: a wedding and not just be a party, you know,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Like there's some Yeah, just getting back to the term
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: hunting widow for a second. One of the main reasons
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: that I have an issue with the term or harvest widow,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and this some people might argue as overly sensitive. It's
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: like when your spouse goes away for a week and
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: someone goes, oh, i'm a single parent this week. It's
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: you're not a single parent. Your spouse is gone. Um,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: it's really different than being a single parent. Being a
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: widow for a short period of time is nothing like
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: being an actual widow. So I find it, I don't know,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: mildly offensive. Even though I'm not a single parent or
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: a widow myself. I do think there's something odd about
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: the term, probably cause you're raised by a single parent.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Maybe you saw a firsthand, like well that ship is
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: all about right, It's like hard, yeah, for sure, And
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: it's not that it's not hard to take care of
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: your whole family while your spouse is gone, and while
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: that support that you normally count on isn't there, but
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: it's not the same as day and day out, year
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: after year after year. That's like a completely different psychic load. Now.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I agree. People ask that all the time, like how
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: do you do it? You know? But I always have
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: in the back of my head I know eventually he's
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: coming back, because, like I said, we didn't do this.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: We were away a lot from each other before we
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: had kids, and now it's kind of on me where
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I used to leave him for the whole summer and now, um,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: he's gone in the fall, you know, and then throughout
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: the year periodically, and um, you know, I always know
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: he's coming back at some point and I'll get a
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: little bit of that load off. So it's doable, you know,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: it's a little more doable because of that. I'm gonna
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: be a long hunter one day. It's what I'm aiming for,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: So I'm just sort of what does that mean? Hunter
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Steve Jennifer Hunter. The most famous long hunter that uh,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: most people will know about would be Daniel Boone and
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: they would go on hunts that we're a year or two.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: If you can just wait for twelve years, that would
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: be great. Wailers at it even work. A whaling trip
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: would be two years. Yeah, no communication, Yeah, probably did.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I'll point out that Boone when
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: you look at when Boone was home and when he
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: was gone, and you look at when his children were born,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: one ain't his. It's rumored that it was his brother.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Never came up though. No, Okay, well I don't have
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: to worry about that. Who don't have to worry about that?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: We don't. I don't know about all the rest of
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: you guys, right, you're ready to do it? Yeah, for
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: the rest of the show, We've got some prompts to
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: go over. Um. I hope that this is entertaining. Maybe
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: it's therapeutic. Maybe we could use that. Because when Karin
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: started trying to organize this podcast, she asked all of
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: us men in the room, said can I get your
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: wives as phone numbers? And three of us responded giving
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Karin our own phone numbers, which is like, terrible, that's
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: not true. You just read okay, yeah, I totally misread
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: because I already had Jennifer's in my contact list, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I saw poo tell us and I didn't. I was
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: like dyslexic, I guess and I saw I didn't notice
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: that it would said Jennifer as opposed to Janice. So
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: that was my problem. So then but two out of
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you put your own phone number and said who were
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: supposed to me? Yeah, I'm curious to call yourself out, buddy.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: You wanted to like you wanted to vet it. No,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I just wasn't thinking. I gave I said, here is
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Shelby's phone number, and I wrote down my phone anytime
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: someone wants to hold my wife. I was having called
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: him first if he made himself Shelby secretary or what.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: But it was it was Spencer and Brody, guys. Good job.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: So all that to say is we could probably use
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the help in communication. So the first thing is, on average,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: how much communication is there while you're on a haunted
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: How does it differ like when you're in the bed
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: country versus car camping versus staying in a hotel. Janice
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: is someone who's probably gonna do all three versions of those.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Is fall What is like a normal amount of communication?
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you Jennifer is shaking her head. I
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: don't think she's going to agree with your answer. Will
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: the reality there's like what it is and what you
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: believe it is might be different than what it is.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: When it's been about four or five days and I go,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: you know, we haven't talked to down in a long time,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: and uh, and then I'm like, okay, maybe he's gonna call.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: And then typically does you know by four or five days.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I have more reason to call now because my kids
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: can actually like communicate on the phone. When they were
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: really young and you're just kind of listening to Okay,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: you guys too, you know, but now it's cool because
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: they're like, what are you doing? You know, what happened
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: or whatever. You can ask them about school, but um,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: hedn't care to talk to me and see how I
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: was doing exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I've got a few of
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: those texts over the years that have been like, uh,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: you want to know how I'm doing too, But I don't.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd say probably any one of those,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: it's just gonna be a couple three days. Um. I
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: like when I'm if I have satellite or in reach,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: is my only form of communication I use it for
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: pretty much emergency port purposes or to let someone know
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: like changing plans or that the plan is going to
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: continue on as it is not so much it's kind
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: of been I noticed this last time I was in
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Alaska just a couple of weeks ago. It was a
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: tiny bit annoying. Again, I'm not gonna name any names,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: but every it used to be where like we had
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: an in reach amongst the crew. Now everybody's got their
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: own little mini in reach and you're sitting around in
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: like beautiful Alaska trying to enjoy it, and you look
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: around and everybody you're with is on their phones tech thing,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: and you don't kind of like really and because everybody's
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: got the unlimited in reach plan and you know, whether
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: it might just be I love you too, or am
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: an unlimited in reach plan. This is going to be
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: so revealing. But you know, somebody might be like trying
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: to buy a house, right, and so they're like going
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: through inspections or or you know, working on documents um.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's I don't know, I like those things. Yes,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Steve is pointing out for there like you could curse
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: the technology and that it's like with you in the woods,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: or you can appreciate that it allows you to be
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: out for six days instead of three because you're just
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: like more connected to everybody. That's the thing is. Uh.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Remember this doesn't have to do with trying to stay married,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: but it has. Buck Bowden Um a friend of ours
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: who's a hunting guy in Alaska. He, like many people
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: who have been in Alaska a long time, all have
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: a very crystal clear idea of what ruined Alaska. If
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: you go back far enough, it was aircraft, snowmobiles ruined Alaska. Uh.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Now everybody's committed that his air boats. Air boats have
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: ruined Alaska. And a tv s. You're gonna hear about
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: this next week where you're going A tv s have
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: ruined Alaska. Um. Buck Bowden told me that in reached
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: devices are the things that have ruined Alaska. I thought
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: it was a stat phone. Yeah, well sorry, because it
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: used to be that you went and it was a
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: ten day trip and you got dropped off or rode
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: in on horseback, and he had his clients and they
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: were gone and if they killed something on the first
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: day or the second day or the third day, they
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: were on a ten day trip and people could get
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: lost in the experience. Now, some guy gets his sheep
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: on the third day, he wants his ass out of
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: their right now, before the guts are out of it.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: They're making the phone call. They're already fretting about getting
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: an airplane in there to get him. So he said
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: that I only meant, I only meant to count of
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: the point that it could be. Let's look at it
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: this way. It could be that there were things you've
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: always wanted to do, but there was just like no
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: way you were going to go do it because you
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: couldn't get young kids whatever, Like you couldn't be out
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: of the game for that amount of time and feel
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: comfortable about it. But at least no one that like,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: everyone's alive, everyone's healthy. If something catastrophic happened, right, you know,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: that alleviates a ton of like it alleviates anxiety and
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: unless you kind of relax in a situation that might
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: otherwise be like really uncomfortable. Yeah, just having the ability
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: to know you can, you know, get in touch if
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: you have to. Is they're worth their way in gold,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: those in reach devices. I'll say the one the one
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: time I don't turn mine on is if like we're
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: camping this weekend, Me, Katie, the kids. I don't mean
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: turn on because I had to text my buddy Dave something. Yeah,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Like there's nothing that would happen that I would care about.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, I try to be courteous and send a
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: quick one before I go to sleep if I'm out there,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you know, like every five days or so. Yeah, Chester does.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Chester doesn't have one actually, so when he's gone, he's gone.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: He usually will text me from tasphone occasionally like, Hey,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: how's it going. So what's a normal amount of communication
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: than Danielle with chick, Like sometimes about three days like
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: every other you know, every three days, which but I
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: also know that on these trips they're busy, and I
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: think also they just did a show at our house recently,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: and I got to like watch how they work and
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: you are busy, Like there's just so much that I
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: don't like I'm not at home, just like, oh, why
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: doesn't he call me? Why didn't he text me hello?
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: But being pregnant, I think has changed a little bit,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: like I'm more like, oh, god, you a check in
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: a couple of days. I think that Steve and I
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: over the years we've been together, sixteen years. Um, how
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I know, amazing forever. It was part of that living
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: in Sin. Part of that two years was living in sin.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: It good for you. Yeah, we got what we got
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: engaged is six months or something like that. Yeah, like like, wait,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: we didn't even know each other. It was ridiculous. Um,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: but he was traveling all the time. Yeah, we stayed
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: engaged for forever. Yeah, we were engaged for We got
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: married on the two year anniversary of our first date.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Is very cute. We didn't plan it like that. It
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: just worked out that way. But um, so we've you know,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I've gone through periods of being piste off that you
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: haven't been in touch, and then periods of like, you know,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: it's fine if you're in touch every five days or whatever.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I think even more so than how frequently like the
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: expectation is um of being in touch, it's more the
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: thing that gets me is that Steve wants me to
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: answer if he calls. He's like, if I call, I'm
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: not going to have much service, like make sure to
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: pick up the phone. It's like, well, how do you
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: know what I'm going to be doing? Like I could
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: be needy in a work call or with the kids
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Yeah, exactly, Um, but that's part of it
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: that I think. If there's anything that causes tension, it's
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: the expectation that I will be available when he needs
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: me to be, but not that there that he needs
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: to be available or should be in touch on any
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: kind of regular cadence. Kelsey, how about you, what's like
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: a normal non communication with Seth? Um. Seth and I
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: actually have like a complete system that works for us,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: and we like it took a lot of time to
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: come up with this, and it's you know, kind of
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: maneuvered over the years, but we do have a system
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: and that alleviates like all of the stress over Um, hey,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: you didn't talk to me enough, Like we know what
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: to expect. We set out our expectations, so umbook where Yeah,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: he like I am to hear that he is safe
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day through his satellite device
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: and I am too, um update him periodically throughout the
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: day on if I'm like going to do something. And
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: the reason why we have the system, I think, actually
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: like our situation is kind of flipped. The anxiety of
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: like safety and the other's well being is actually more
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: on his end. For me, I think because I do
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: a lot, like I do everything alone. I'm operating a
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: public business alone. Um, I go do outdoor stuff alone
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: without like a satellite device. So he's not checking that
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: throughout the day. But when he turns on the satellite
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: phone at the end of the day, if he sees
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: that I went trail running and it's at night and
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I haven't told him that I'm bad, he'll know to
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: like up to reach out to a friend and have
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: them check on me. Like, that's our system so that
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: we know each other safe. There's no we do not
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: at all talk about our days, like when he's on
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: a trip. There's just we don't expect each other to
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: have the time to do that. But that's our system
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: so that, um we know to Like, if something happened
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: on a mediator trip, I would know whether it was
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: him telling me or not. But if something happened to
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: me at home, nobody would know unless he caught it
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: right away because of our system. So, uh, this is
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: this gonna sound a little bit fatalistic, sure, but no, no,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I'm saying like like when it comes to communication, if
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: you're gone, you're never gonna I don't think you're never
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: gonna scratch, like the itch all the way. There's never
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: gonna be a way, whether it's through an in reach
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: satellite phone. Let's say you're in some way we have
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: like regular cell service, and like everybody's tired, you know,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: people are like trying to deal with kids whatever. You're
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: never gonna get all of the communication out of the way.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of like I just want to like,
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I just want to know, is everybody mostly okay, Like
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: nothing catastrophic has happened because we don't amount a small talking.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: It's like it doesn't amount to it doesn't alleviate anything.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Like you could small talk for five minutes and when
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: you hang up it feels as shitty and incomplete as
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: if you didn't small talk at all. Our expectation is
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: no small talk. We don't. We don't apply that to
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: each other, that that is the thing at all. We'll
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: do that. We'll catch up on what happened when he's back,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Like we actually don't neither of us take the time
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: or want to take the time to do that while
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: he's gone. That's our system. I disagree is not. I'm
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: obviously the outlier here, but if Spencer is not texting
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: me at least once a day. I am super concerned,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: probably a little bit mad. Uh, Like, if you're not dead,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: why the hell have any texting? You better let me
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: know where you're at. I'll confirm that that's true. But
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I think it's also with like communication has become very
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: different between different generations too. And here's an example. What
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I've noticed is that if I'm with someone who has kids,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: they are facetiming like every night, like that's what happens
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: in place of a phone call. Shelby and I never
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: use FaceTime. It's it's like FaceTime is exclusively for hunters
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: that have children at home, and I just like don't
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: notice that being used otherwise. But we use Snapchat a lot,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: like yeah, I don't know, maybe that a like, well, no,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: that old, But what do you do like on snapchat? Oh,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: it's no like actual communication. It's just like he found
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: a piece of petrified wood or saw a porcupine and
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: send him picture of the cats sleeping on the couch
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: or on the couch. It's very exciting. But I think
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: it's just like I know he's alive. I can see
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: that he opened the snapchat. I know where he's at.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Within reason, Um, it's not like full on chickens. But
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: we get an idea that is, if you have service,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: if you're somewhere with the internet, yeah, I would imagine
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: this room has a lot of face timing being zero
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: really FaceTime that technology is like us boomers can't figure.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Is a little younger right to be honestly, you facetiming
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: your children? I mean he's gonna say, obviously, yeah, it's
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: not every night, but when they're staying at hotels. Yeah,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: maybe one of the nights or something like that. Kids
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: on FaceTime are so annoying. Ye wander around and then
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: they'll start doing something intolerable to face time with my children.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: They're just yeah, our kids are talkers now though. They
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: want to talk and they'll tell him exactly what they
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: did today and exactly what they you know, what happens.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: They'll do that on my phone. But they like get
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: a you know, if they see themselves on a screen,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: they need to add those dumb stickers whatever show everything
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: around them, like you take a tour of the house.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Are there any rituals you couples have while your partner
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: has gone For example, I know that if I'm gone
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: hunting for a few days, I'm going to get a
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: ring doorbell notification that door to ashes dropping off food
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: for Shelby. The Spencer is my cook in my defense,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: so when he's gone door to ashes, my cook, I
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: fully support that. Yeah, thank you. Also, when I'm gone, Spencer,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I get home and he's like a shriveled up little
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: raisin that smells like chlorine because he's like lived in
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: the hot tub for four days. That's good. I'll also
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: confirm that is these you know, I'll speak for Kadian
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: say that they like to go get farm raised. They
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: like to eat farm raised meats while I'm gone. The
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: first thing we do is we got a rotisserie chicken.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: We got some lunch meat. Was ever a secret, yes,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: but well not just more like eat it before dad
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: gets home and then we don't need to talk about it.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: We have a friend actually here, a neighbor that keeps
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: ham at her house for our daughter because she'll just
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: go over and ask for a piece of hams she
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: knows she can't get it at our own house, which
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: is sad. Along the bacon he paraphrases, but I think
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: it was something along the lines of like, yeah, one
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: thing that nature cannot produce is like a nice oven
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: roasted chicken. Yeah, bacon in a in a rotisserie chicken
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: are like two meats. He'll allow to be brought in
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: on occasion if it doesn't happen to me as much
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: as it happens to Katie. But my like, if she's gone,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I don't even want to say this to her in
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: the room we're all learning this together. Is that okay?
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: If she's gone. My goal is to make it seem
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: like shit is tight, to make it be like, can't
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: be that hard. So I bust my ass and I
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: clean that house. People are bed super early, like ship
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: is tight. It seems this is you think you've been
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: sneaky about this, Like it is very obvious when they
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: try to make it look like Christie, right before you
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: got the house is spotless and truly you come in,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: he's kind of like, oh yeah, man, I scream at
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: the kids. I'm like, you gotta get this place cleaned up.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Everybody getting bed, your must coming home. This is gonna
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: look like our program is tight. You've got to talk
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: about the flip side of that that you mentioned to
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: me before the podcast. Though, there's the flip side of
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: that when you get home. Oh, I don't know. I'm
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: gonna say this, and then I'm gonna be done talking
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: about the subject. A huge problem in my marriage is
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: when I get home, I kind of want to piss
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: on the old post a little bit. And I'm like,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: who took the tools out and left him in the yard?
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: No one ate the green beans? Why is this like
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: someone did water the thing? The bird feeders empty? What
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: do you people do? Oh? Yeah? Not? I mean that's
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: just like the beginning. You're like, oh, and it seems
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: like no one's hoping do X, Y and Z and
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: what you know it, there's not a That's the other thing.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I don't care about the traveling, but it would extra
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: appreciation when you get home for all the things that
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: have happened in your absence. He's kind of canceling out
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: a good will he builds by making the house. I
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: gotta be careful about going in that direction too. And
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: then she'll be like, you've been on vacation for a week,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: and I'll be, oh, no, I haven't. I'm glad Seth
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: isn't here. This is like so quickly turning into a
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: couple's counseling sessions. Are there any rituals the rest of
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: you have that that happened while your spouse is gone.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: One I just learned about when we were talking about
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: recording this was that Shelby will bank up shows that
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: she wants to watch that participated, and then those get
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: watched in October through December. And so I learned that one,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: like just yesterday. Yeah. But then the worst thing is
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: is sometimes I think you'll like them, and he won't
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: watch them with me because I've already seen it. Like Fleabag,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: for example, I banked that one up and then I
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: was like, you have to watch it, right, It's so good,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: you're you're gonna love it. And then he just sat
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: there and played on his phone the whole time, and
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: then I was mad, mine's more like a work related
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I know it's not maybe a good routine, but when
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Chester leaves, I feel like I could really sit down
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: because I have to when I shoot weddings, like I
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: have so much editing, like it's a lot of my time.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: But when he's home, I like to like we'll go
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: out to dinner that's me not working, or we'll um,
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: you know, have a slower morning together, so it's not me.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's me not working. So when he's gone,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh I get I get to edit and
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: just watch my chick flicks in bed, my air conditioner,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: and drink and drink. Well now it's now I got
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: a drink sparkling water, not my beer. But you know,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I would say it's funny because I look at it
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: more of a work standpoint, like, oh, I can get
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: so much done when he's gone. Yeah, the first thing
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I do is clean and organize the he and then
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: he comes home and it lasts a second dump sold
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: how when they don't unpack their bags from like Alaska,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: like Chester's bag from a while ago, but still downstairs, Like,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: well you're going to last again and unpack that one?
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Throw him under the bus. I can't believe South and
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Chester aren't here. We just we can really because where
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: are they now? The basic we're going, Yeah, they'll they
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: have two weeks to not know what we have to say. Yep,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: that's right, and they have two weeks are they said?
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Just don't throw me under the bus too bad? At this?
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: When I told I was doing this, He's like, let's
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: be careful. Are there any rituals you guys would like
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: to develop that you think would would make these trips easier.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: One that I learned about myself was that I like
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: to come home to like a very tidy house. And
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: so now, whether it's me leaving on a trip by myself,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: I will clean up my areas, like the dishes are cleaning,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: the garbages out, my office is clean. Um. And we
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: go on a trip together, I'm like making you clean
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: with me for the last hour that we're at home.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: And that's something I would love for us just like
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: become a standard thing we do when we're leaving home.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: It's funny you say that because Chester and I literally
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: just had a grown up conversation. I'm about that this
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: weekend because Kelsey and Seth went fishing and where was
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that beautiful? I'd have to yeah, that's right, Okay, they
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: went somewhere beautiful and Chester really wanted to go, and
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I was like totally okay with it. But at the
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: same time, I'm like, there's just so much stuff around
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: the house. I wish you could help me because you're
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: gonna be gone for two weeks. So we compromise and
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: he didn't go fishing, um, but he actually did. His
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: partner really helped out around the house, and I feel
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: way better about him leaving now. I feel like, hey,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: at least he helped out. He stayed this week. Now
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have a fresh start and bath Felicia,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I think Spencer is going to leave this podcast thinking
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: that he has it the worst. I'm worried. I am
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: such a pig. When Spencer is gone, I make what
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: he calls nests, and it's just like coffee cups and
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: the blankets, and I bring all the pillows into one
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: room and then I'm quickly scrambling to clean it before
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: he comes home. Because he's a bitch for chores. I
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: don't know why he loves chores on Can you teach
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Chester some stuff? Yes, it's it's reminiscent of like when
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I was a junior in high school and my parents
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: were gone through the weekend and there's like a party
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: that just happened to happen at home, and I'm like,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I know their e t a down to the minute.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Then that's how Shelby operates when I'm not around, because
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: she's like scrambling to clean up that day. Danielle, how
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: are things different this fall with you being very pregnant
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: and Chester's still needing to travel for work. I imagine
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: there are a lot more considerations when Chester is like
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: planning a ten day trip to Alaska and meanwhile, you're
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: in your third trimester. Yeah. Um, I will say it's different,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: but it's not because last year was a really busier
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: also for the crew. I mean they were gone a lot,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: so I was already like, Okay, this is what I
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: had to kind of acclimate to and like reference too,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: because I was new to him being gone so much. Um,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: but I kind of I kind of like we both
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: just had like a grow up agreement about like, you know,
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: put your head down to work and do your job
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: and be supportive of each other. There's times definitely where
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I'm upset and like being pregnant, I'm like, oh, maybe
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: not travel in the third trimester just in case you
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: can't get around. But um, I guess it's not a
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: lot as different because I'm I'm just as busy as
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: he is. We both work really like a lot weird hours.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: So UM, I don't know if that helps or not,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: but I don't feel like a lot has changed. Maybe
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: just being more nervous, like now that I'm housing a human.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: It would be nice to have him like, want to
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: check in more on him, you know, and me? And
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: is there any advice our parents and then would have
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: for the expecting parents when it comes to navigating this
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: part of raising children, Like Steve honest Brody, do you
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: have anything for Chester and Katie? Jennifer Carey, do you
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: have something for Danielle? Yes? Before before that's very important.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: But I think there's still a disagree meant that Steve
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: and I have about something that I feel he did
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: was egregious when I was pregnant with our first kid. Um.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: It involves Ronnie being going on a hunt. He ended
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: up coming home early because I called him and basically said,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I'm getting like, we're getting a divorce if you don't
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: come home. I was so sick. And we know Ronnie
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: has impeccable advice because he said he doesn't want to
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: get divorced because he doesn't want to leave that. So
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Steve ended up coming home because I mean I was
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: really I was really sick. Steve had been working. Um
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: then this was a fun hunt that you went on
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: and you came home, but you still feel that it
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: was unnecessary, Like I was being unreasonable that I asked
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: you to come home, just curious for a couple of reasons.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: I guess I feel that way for couple reasons. There
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: was nothing now I was going to do that was
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: gonna make you feel better. The other thing is that
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: is so up, like we were just kind of dicking around,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: but like we've gone up through Maine in the hunt
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Grouse in New Brunswick, Like it's not. You don't just
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: like decide to all of a sudden come home from there.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't all of a sudden just decide to get
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: pregnant either, Like and it was I was sick when
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: you left, and I just got madder the longer you
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: were gone and the longer you were driving. But I'm
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: just curious, felt more alone. I think that was bad.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: I do think now, looking back on it, that was bad.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: I think that. I mean from my if I were you,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: i'd be pissed only because like, also, when you're pregnant,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: you're it's not the guys won't get experienced it. Really, honestly,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I feel bad that they don't get experienced what we
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: experienced until the baby's there, because that's when I feel
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: like maybe the men um connect more to it, but
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: like growing a human. I mean, I've knock on would
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: have had a really great pregnancy. But if you have
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: a tough pregnancy and you're alone and they're gone, you
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: feel even more alone and your hormones are all over like.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: It's just one of those things that it's hard for
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: even guys to understand really what you're going through. So
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I think if Chester would like dip out for fun,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, you're not coming home, and as
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: it's in a body bag, you know, you know, when
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: you're I don't know this personally, but when you're pregnant,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: you get a period where everything smells real, like like
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: bad smith, like garbage smells horrible, like way worse than
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: all that. So she was pretty pregnant one time and
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: me and my buggy check this out there, Me and
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: my buddy, we're gonna do this thing where we wanted.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: We dug this is We're in Brooklyn, and we dug
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: a big hole. We had a backyard, and we dug
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: a big hole in the backyard, and we're gonna bury
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: a pig in this hole in the backyard. And we
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: started getting this fire going good, and it looks it
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: looked like a scene from like Bagdad, the black smoke
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: coming out of this thing. And pretty soon, sure enough,
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, three ladder trucks, fireman coming through our apartment.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: They're like, that's a great idea, but you gotta put
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: that ship out, you know. So then we had this
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: pig and we so we've been making this fire all
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: day and digging this hole. And then we took this
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: pig to my buddy's restaurant and cut it up and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: cooked the pig and pieces in his ovens. Brought him
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: back home and I climbed in bed. She's like, are
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: you honestly I'm not going to take a shower, that
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: is you? Yeah, And he didn't. I'm going to that man.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I still have yet to hear any parenting advice to
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: get there, Like, well, I can't, like you know, as
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: far as the pregnancy thing, I'm not going to weigh in,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: but like, we had our first kid end of September,
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: so it was hunting season. Yep. Second yeah, conmly after
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: he was born. I think he went turkey hunting the
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: day after I got out of the hospital. Because like
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: the first couple of months, there's nothing for me an,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: I mean we had a three and a half year
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: old and a three day There's really nothing you could
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: have done. There's just not much the guy can do
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: for they're just a little little So you know, my
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: my lovely wife did observe after a couple of months
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: after we had our first kid, after a cup months,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: she was like, there really isn't anything like in the
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: middle of the night, this is you know, you kind
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: of get up, you feel guilty and you sort of
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: stand there watching, you know, them feed or whatever, and
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: she's like, there's you know, I just don't don't pretend.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Don't pretend to be like helpful. I didn't have it.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: You're all tired tomorrow, just like sleep tomorrow in the daytime.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Do the helpful stuff eventually, Like you gotta step in too, right,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: But there's a period of time whether's you know, Brodie,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I am you are so wrong about this. You know,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: those first few couple of months, there's less they can do. Yeah,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: that takes a lot you would take care of you,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: especially after the nine months you already how's the human
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: you get sup deprived? Well, I don't know yet, but
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I just didn't watch a lot of Blaque for going hunt.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, good for you on that, like that's a win.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: But your advice to Chester it is just like he
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: doesn't need to be around the first couple of months,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: not at all. There's not a lot they can for
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: the baby, obviously, but you can clearly clean and do
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: other things that you're not doing because you're taking your
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: time taking care of a baby. If it's like if
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: it's an either or, and I don't think it is.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: We're talking about something that plays out over the course
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: of many years. It's not like it's not like he's like, well,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go turkey hunting now because then in six
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: years I'll be more present. But since it's not either or,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: but I would say that, um, like our kids now
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: are entering an age where I feel like, yeah, that
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: ship becomes really important, right, like have an exposure to
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: these different figures in the household and like putting all
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: that together. But but it's hard to present it as
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: a borrow, like like a give and take arrangement between
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: the present and the future. You know, if you hunt
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: a lot now, it's like you're gonna not want to
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: go hunting later. You're gonna want to go hunt any
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: worse later. Exactly, but eventually you'll take them both with
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: with you. We're only like four years from that, right,
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: and then I get a whole weekend long. Maybe that's
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: what I'm banking that, honestly, is the only time, that's
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: like the only time in my life that I feel
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: absolutely like perfection would be that to be gone out
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: messing around outside with all my kids, because then I like,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: I'm doing what I want to do and I don't
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: have any guilt about not being being a good dad. Also,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: you're showing your kids, Like I think that's so important.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: A lot of kids now are like always just I
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: mean on their phones or on their cell phones or
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: on Twitter, Instagram. You bring your kids out. I even
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: told Chester, I'm like, we need to be like that, Like, well,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: that's being a kid, be out in nature and you know,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: get off the off the grid just to be a
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: kid and not worry about social media and like what
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: other kids are doing, especially as they get older, you know,
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: especially in school, like little girls, especially seeing other girls,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: although they're doing that, so I gotta do that. So
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: they're out in the woods just not even not even
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: acclimated to that. Like that's I think that's amazing, Yanni Jennifer,
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: parents of two. Do you have any advice for Danielle
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: and Chester you want to go first? Um. I guess
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: probably one of the hardest things I think for the
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: longer trips was because I stopped doing field work once
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: we had kids. Um, because I used to do it,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of field work, and it was gone for
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: full summers at a time, and then, uh, you know,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: once that flipped. Yeah, I was definitely unhappy for the
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: first couple of summers realizing that that that relationship had
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: changed and that you know, he was the only one
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: getting to do the field work and a lot more
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: of it. Um. But I think the hardest thing is
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: definitely the back end, the front end and the back
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: end of the trips, like the two days after he leaves,
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: just because we do things differently. You know, I parent
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: a little differently, I keep the household differently, I put
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: them to bed differently, those kind of things. And then
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: Papa shows up, what's up? You know the game? You know,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna read you a book and yeah, exactly,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: and yeah, so that that's challenging. And I realized today
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: that he had no idea that that was a thing
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: because yeah, you said that to me earlier, that really
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: there's a problem there, And I'll say, oh, yeah, do
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: you guys see that totally? Yeah, you can teens and
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: you're like patterns with the kids, and then all of
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: a sudden it just gets It's not a bad thing,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: it's just a different way. It's different, yeah, doing things.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: But it's frustrating sometimes. I feel like the kids definitely
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: act up on the front end, and then you know,
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: yahn S will show up and he'll be like, what
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: is going on with the kids? Why are they acting
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: like because I'm a bad parents that's the reason. So yeah,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: that's that's one of our challenges. I think that that.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I mean that just be aware. Yeah it's a thing,
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: um and you know it's not insurmountable. You know, you
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: can you can get get by it. But just know
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: that it's tough on the kids. But I mean, you know,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: like he was saying today, there's there are plenty of fields.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: Is not hunting necessarily. You know, I'm an ecologist and
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: when I leave for you know, a training for a week,
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: it's it's tough the day before and they're like, mom
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: me it's leaving, you know, and you know it's it's
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: a little different kind of you think that's harder on
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: them or harder on you guys, Like I think harder
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: on me, I would say, than the kids. I think
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: they're pretty adjusted to it. Like after the first day,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: maybe they're sad. Then they're all doing their thing, but
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: you're like still doing your reach. And now they're at
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: an age where they value it, like they know like
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: dad's out doing cool things and they want to be
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: there too, So there's a as they get older, it's
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: easier to me anyway, it's good for sure. Steve's about
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: to go on a trip tomorrow and I am really
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: looking forward to the lack of kitchen grease, like literally,
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: like he was like, oh, I know you're stick of
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: me in my kitchen greases. He was walking around the
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: kitchen yesterday. But there really is something nice about when
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: you go and you're doing something you love and the
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: house is in order in the way that I wanted
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: to be. But I think Jennifer your point about being
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: aware of that and being aware about the return to
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: like we made it. We made a sort of a
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: policy a long time ago that there wasn't going to
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: be We're not going to make a huge deal. It's
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: not going to be a big traumatic event every time
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Steve leaves. But then there can't be this big whoopie
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: do party every time he comes home. It's like it's
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: has to be normalized in some kind of way. When
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: we first had kids, I would with I was going
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: out of town. Um, I would sit in the bats
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: up with him and cry, and she's like, yeah, pull
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: it together. You're gonna you know, you can't be doing
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. And she said, you gotta be
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: like out kind of like smooth and come back in smooths,
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: not like cakes and signs that so welcome home and ship.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: You gotta figure out how to get in and get out.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: No one noticing that. Jealous when I walk out those
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: security doors, you know, and there's a couple of your
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: kids standing around a little poster board. But no. But
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: now they get up in the morning and they'll come
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: down or come upstairs for preaktict and where's POPA, Yeah,
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: he's on a ten day trip. Okay, you know eight
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: and eleven now so it's much easier, but yeah, you
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: still see, you know, some subtle changes. But when they
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: were younger, it was it was much more difficult, but sorry,
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna slip it in, but just some general marriage,
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: parenting all around advice would be too. It's hard to
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: see into the future, but they're just are topics that
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: you know that everyone knows. If you're thinking at all
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: about that, you're gonna have to discuss and very early on,
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: like when you're just at the wedding, everybody's just all
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: in love and it's gravitas and it's gonna last forever,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: but you just haven't even thought to discuss, like what
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: are we gonna just say to him when religion comes up?
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: Or is it gonna be public or private schools? Or
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: there's just things that you could like very easily discuss
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: ahead of time and don't have to come to a conclusion,
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: but just start the conversation so that later you're like
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: already kind of like you've been formulating a plan and
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: maybe even coming together or you've decided that not we're
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: just gonna you know, a parent differently on this one
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: thing or whatever. But just like it's so much easier
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: to think about it ahead of time than to like
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: when all of a sudden, it's like the heat of
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: the moment, you're like ow on earth do we not
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: think that? Um, I'm trying to come up with a
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: good example of oh yeah, like being shut We haven't.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I haven't had that problem, but I see it with
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: people like they're shocked at something they find out. Yeah,
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: well we are like pretty predictable thing that would come up,
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like like you're saying, like
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: like private school or something. You know, So how how
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: did like sort of like the rough outline of that
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: not come up? And all the years prior and that
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: was so important to you? You know. We actually did
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: marriage counseling before our wedding, which I was like, well
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: because it was required to get because we got married
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: to the church, obviously was required, but I was actually
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: really excited about it. It was during COVID, so like
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: we had to do it in our house, and like
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: we had to sit in the house all day for
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: two days together and like talk through hard things that
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: you would never want to talk about in general, Like
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: you when you got to a date night, you don't
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: want to bring up the hard stuff. And when you
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: because you don't see each other all the time, you
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: want to have a good conversation. But um, it kind
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: of like taught us how to have these discussions and
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: it did flat out ask about kids, religion, um, parenting,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: and like, I feel like there's definitely gonna be things
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: that we disagree on, which is that's obviously normal and
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: it's going to be challenging, but hearing each other out
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: on like how you're going to move forward and how
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: you both can like you know, um compromise and like, okay,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: I can do this if we can, you know, I
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: don't know. I think that I'm glad that we we
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: did do that because we've talked about a lot of
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: hard stuff. There's still stuff I'm like, I don't know
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: what to do, Like I'm already nervous to like breastfeed
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: and do all this stuff, but like schooling, I'm like,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: oh my god, what about school? Like obviously you take
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: a day this day at a time, and but I'm glad.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I do suggest anyone out listening do marriage counseling before
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: you get married. Steve and I did that. We did
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: the we got the pre kin in questions from a
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: Catholic friend and we went through those. Do you remember that? Honestly,
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: very impactful experience for you, But it was like a questionnaire. Yeah,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: it had like I can't even It was like thirty
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: six question questions and a lot of deep questions, not
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: just like how do you like your meals? Like would
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: you pull wet pine squirrel legs that your kids shot
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: and throw them in hot oil? And no, I would
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: only eat a rotistory. Here's a good example. It's like
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: how stern your parenting style might be. Are you going
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: to spank or take your belt off and whoop your
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: kids if if he does X thing or not? You know,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: that's a one we went into and then all of
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: a sudden there's a spanking, But we went into it
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: spankers and then agreed at a rout at about the
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: same time that we were out of here. We're out
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: of the spanking. So it's like we would have never predicted, right,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: That's why there's a little bit of sort of like
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: finding a reasonable person, Like earlier are just saying like
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: how could you not talk about the main stuff? But
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: isn't it weird that we would have both thought in
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: principle that like spanking was the way to go, and
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: then that on when they're too being like the return
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: on investment in spanking, It's like diminishing returns, like are
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: you really going to keep like, are you really willing
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: to get into arms race with how hard you're going
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: to smack your kids? But once they started like you
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: spank them, they kind of look at you like, the
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: hell was that the last time banked? The last time
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: I spanked one of our kids is when they turned
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: around and laughed at me, And I was like, Okay, well,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: clearly that's not hard enough. I don't want to figure
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: out what the right heart is like that just make
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: you spanking your kids right now? It does make me
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: because you're so sweet, I could imagine it. They're they're
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: way too they won't even know what to make of
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: that anymore. But all right, you've you've now made our
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: listeners perfect parents. But let's go back to like when
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: there's traveling happening around hunting, what are the specific anxieties
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: you have when your spouse is gone, Like is there
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: a certain hunt or a certain situation that stresses you
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: out more than others? I I know what Shelby's answer
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: is going to be to this, Yeah, as you might
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: have predicted it being very on brand for Spencer to
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: be incredibly cautious, he is so risk averse. He'll like
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: pull me away from edges on hikes and he's ridiculously careful,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: yet he still managed to fall out of a tree
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: stand and cut open his side. And then when he
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: calls me about it, he's like, oh, I'm going to
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: drive to a hospital in our insurance network, Like are
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: you are you still? Yeah, no way, you are driving
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: to the small town e Er that's ten miles away
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: and I won't hear anything about it. And then he
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: agrees a little too quickly, and I'm like, oh, it's bad.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: So you know, even with Spencer being safe there, it's dangerous.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Like you guys are in a very compromised situation. Yeah,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: I've recognized that. Um, when I'm now going on a
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: hunt where too like involves getting up in a tree,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: I get more be careful and are you okay? Uh
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: than than any other time that amount. So what about
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: for the rest of you, what are like the most
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: anxious trips? I mean, I think we had a conversation
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: a long time ago about like being in the back
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: country and it's dangerous, and then we came to the
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: conclusion that it's more dangerous to get in your car
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: and your driveway, like this is not something I mean,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not like, I don't know what you think about
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: that anymore, but yeah, I think it evolves over time.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, we've been together a while now, um so
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: how long carried? I think twenty years? God one, but
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: who's counting together? We've been married. We lived in sin
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: for a while, that's six years. I actually think they're
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: the best relationship advice is to live in for a while,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: livingson ill. Yeah, I think anytime you're out alone, you're
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: always like and now that we can commun kate yea
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: in reach or even if you're out of service, that's
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: changes that a little bit. But um, Brodie's also very
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: safety conscious, so that gives me a lot of I
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: don't I don't get as anxious as I probably want to.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: But I'll say, for me, like thinking about it on
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: my own end, is single engine aircraft still like it's
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: still in the back of my head looking the other way.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: I don't want to get too much details because I
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: want to pick a fresh scab. You're gonna think you're
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: gonna take this the wrong way. You're gonna take this
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: the wrong way. One time out of town recently, and
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: I get back and Katie's telling about meeting some guy
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: in a restaurant, like, how how in the world you
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: meet a guy in a restaurant. She's like, he just
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: came up and started talking to me, and she's like
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: telling me about some other unrelated thing. But I'm like
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: focused on he came up and talk to you. Do
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And not that I'm like
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: worried about what I'm just like, what was in his mind?
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: That ship bugs, that stuff bugs. Okay, that is really
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: off topic and ridiculous, and we'll definitely pick that up later.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: But to be right, but the I honestly don't like
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: to know where Steve is or what he's doing. Like
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: most of the time people say, like, what's he doing,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't. Calendar says like moose you know
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: or whatever. But but I don't like to know because
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: for for long enough I worried a lot, and especially
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: without hearing from him on any kind of regular basis,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: I just didn't like, I don't want to live like that.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: And so knowing now there is a newfound passion or
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: relatively new found passion for spear fishing, which is um
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: he's learning and is dangerous free diving. Fine, I don't
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: want to know like I would rather just be like
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: you go, you have fun, you make your best um decisions.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: I've told him that if he that I want him
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: to think about like I want in his mind, if
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: he has a moment like underwater or whatever, like I
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: can do this thing and that seems risky, but I
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: think I can do it, or I should probably take
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: the safe path that I want him to know that
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: if he dies, I am going to take his life
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: insurance money and all of his hard earned savings, and
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: I am going to marry a guy that he would despise.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to spend that money doing things that he
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: would hate. Whip this man and our children. She was
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: laying uside me the other day. I told her, I
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: just think you need to marry my buddy Pooter. Paint
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: a picture for his Katie and who this uh new
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: husband would be? Like? What big sports fan? We'd go
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: to lots of sports games. We would ski, probably on weekends, golf.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: We would definitely go live on a golf course. Maybe
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: we would probably move to a golf course. We would
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: stay at resort. Would you start decorating your home with
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: those signs that say like, uh, like home is where?
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: Know what? You know what? I respect people's design choices.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: If that's what they want to do, that is fine.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: But I would take all of steve skulls and we
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: would get rid of all of them. All of the
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: hides would be gone, and the kids wouldn't hunt sink in.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: Steve some fish down and I'm like that fish can
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna let him be. I don't need to
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: go down they're looking for that fish. It sounds like
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: we would get along well with this, Uh Steve two
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: point oh. I might have met him at a restaurant. Jennifer,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: is there an outing for you that bothers you more
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: than others? When when Yanni is gone? You know, I
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: have to be honest. We lived in Colorado for years
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: and years, and uh, I did a bunch of feel
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: work in the Sierra and the grizz thing definitely gives
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: me fast because we never lived in grizzly country until
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: moving up here to Montana. And um it seems that
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: even though Montana is a very large state, when Janest
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: likes to go archery hunting, he picks the most grizzly
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: infected infested watershed in the entire state. It's like, that's
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: where I'm gonna go, Like, really that one right beside? Okay,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: that's fine, great there, we might have to bleep some
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: of that out. So, yeah, those are the ones that
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: give me a little pause. And he's had a couple
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: of interactions with Chris, so that one makes me really
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: nervous too. Yeah, Kelsey, for you, is it like, is
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: it boats? Is it planes? Is it the back country?
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: What is Seth do that makes you nervous? Um, I
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's a bad thing that I'm pretty
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: calm about all that. I really it doesn't bother me.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: I trust him, and I also understand that it's a
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: high risk lifestyle and it's you know, accidents are prone
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: to happen, But um, you know, I trust his capabilities
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: and I don't worry about it too much. The only
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: thing that does freak me out, and this has nothing
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: to do with him, And I don't even really know
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: like how safe this is or not. It's just me projecting.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: Ice freaks me out. Ice fishing, I don't totally reasonable. Now,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: it's it's obvious how like a family's impacted when a
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: significant other has gone haunting, But what about the reentry
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: into the home? Uh? We we heard Katie you talk
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: about how like Steve is not getting the welcome home
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: that a soldier would after being in Iraq for a year.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: It's funny mention because one day I said, You're lucky
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not in the army. What are you even talking about?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: What is the thing that you think your spouse does
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: well when it comes to these trips happening? Like, where
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: is an area that you think they are excelling? Uh?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: That you like feel very good about what they're doing
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: before a trip, happens after a trip, happens during a trip. Danielle,
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: you have anything that Chester is like really nailed Yeah. Honestly,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: I feel like when he first started working from Eater,
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: I think he was didn't know what what to expect,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: and so he was really nervous obviously, And from what
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: I've seen him, like where he's at now after working
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: here for I think two years now, Um, he I
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: feel like it has become way more organized in a way.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: I think he's nailed at because for his job particular,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: you have to be organized. You have to you have
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: to be able to manage a lot of different things
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: going on, and that was not his when I first
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: met him. Oh, I was like, Wow, this is gonna
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: be good for you. You're gonna learn so much. And
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: I will say, honestly, I'm very proud of like how
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: he manages what he manages, and like when he gets stressed,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: how he manages his stress and um, obviously I'm just
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: like super rooting for him just to keep keep going
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: and working hard and um just learning different techniques to
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: even perfect even more. Like and one thing about him
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: is like, you know, some times he um if he
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't know how to do something or he feels stuck,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: he wants to figure out himself versus just asking for help,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: which I'm opposite. I'm like, Okay, I need some help,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: you know. So I love that he's like learning to
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: um just you know, keep getting better and like learning
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: different skills. Kelsey, what is Seth doing well when it
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: comes to leaving for trips like this? Um? Well, One
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: thing that as I'm sitting here thinking about this episode,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: I think is important to note is we are talking
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: about this from a work perspective. Most people listening to
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: this are thinking about hunting as like the extracurricular there.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: It's not like they're nine to five. Um. But with
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: that being said, what Seth does well? Um, and this
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: has been key for us, and this is he like
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: systems are very important to us in our relationship. And
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: that's something that he fostered in the beginning. So like
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: we have very clear expectations, very clear systems. We know
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: what we're getting into as far as communications, Like we
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: are very good with the front end stuff like Yanny,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: you were talking about, um talking about all this stuff
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: ahead of time. That's something that is very important to him, Um,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: that he's brought into our relationship. Carry what does Brody
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: get right when it comes to leaving for hunting? Yeah,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: I mean a lot of the same stuff leaving a
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: hunt plan. I know exactly where he is. I get
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: the on X point. Um really yeah? Is that commonplace
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: for for everyone here? Like that's a good market for
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: on X man market that have on X marriage. Yeah,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: you can track them. There's a tracker on your phone. Restaurant.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: I want to know about what's going on. I'll drop
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: some way points for Jennifer trail ahead for me. It's
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: more so that if if Shelby UM didn't know where
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: I was hunting. She would know who to ask, who
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: would know where I was hunting. She would like contact
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: my buddy Dylan, who would know, like the exact tree
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: I'm in, or the exact drainage I mean, or where
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: I'm camping. But usually you just know that I mean
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: like a state somewhere. Yeah, you should. We should probably
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: let Dylan in on that part of He's like part
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: of our system here and he should probably know that.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I'd like to know general, but I would
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: also be a nervous wreck if I knew specifics. Jever
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: had to leave, But she was wanted to chime in
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: that she'd like it if like all the dinners were
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: pre cooked before I left. But what would she compliment
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: you on? What do you think from her prospect? She
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: wasn't interested in that question. Boy, I don't know if
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be all to answer that for you, Spencer,
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: what think you do well? And getting ready for leaving
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: on a trip or when you come back? Like what
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: are you? What do you do well? And uh, you know,
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: I think you feel as though, like Brodie said, it's
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: not like you've been on vacation for a week. You
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: come back, you're tired, but yeah, there's no like going
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: and being like I'm gonna sleep in tomorrow morning. You
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: gotta just get up at six and start making breakfast
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: and get kids up and just you know, roll roll
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: right back into the zone, which I think I feel
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: like I do that, you know I don't. I'm not
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: going to be like lazy around the house for a day, Katie.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: Do you have any compliments for Steve on on what
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: he gets right? He gets the first like five hours
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: home really well, like you nail it. It's like you're
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: so excited to see everybody and you missed everybody and
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: hugs for everybody, and then you start, you know, as
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: in your words earlier, pissing on the posts all over
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: takes about Usually you get home at night, so it's
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: like you go to bed and then you wake up
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: and then you start tinkering around. But those furst when
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: you first get you are delightful. And then I get
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: up and go out in the garden. I'm like, sons
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: of bitches, nobody's done any waiting? What about where where
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: could your spouse improve on? Like making these trips easier?
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: And I don't I don't get to say, I don't
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: get to say what a well, please, no, I want
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: to say I want to say what my wife? Okay? Yeah,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: so you know, like we're always mad at each other
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: about something what's right? Just just like stupid ship. But no,
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: I was mad about that a long time ago. But
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: here's the thing that that I think it's important. The
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: main thing is like there's no one in the world
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: that I trust more then my wife. Like if something
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: really bad happened, that's absolutely who i'd call. There's no
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: one i'd rather have like my kids, or like an
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: eye toward what they needed, or like she would take
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: a bullet for him. If I had an enemy, she'd
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: want to cut their fucking hands off, do you know
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like it's like that's right, Like that's
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: the main thing. And all the stupid fights and ship
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, they just come and go. But like the
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: main thing is like, do you like who's the main
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: person you would trust to like have your family? You
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like who's at the wheel?
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: If I ever thought and if I ever felt like that,
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: Like if I ever felt if I ever doubted that
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: aspect of like do I trust the driver? Right, it
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: would make all that other stuff very different yeah, but
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: it's always there, right. I've heard him talk about this before.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: There was one time we were out having a nice
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: dinner and, um, everyone's having a nice evening until Steve
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: started asking people what the best part of their marriage was.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: And then someone asked, Steve, do you remember what Your
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: answer was, No, I don't remember that. This is how
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: I got in a fight with Kal. Yes, And it
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: was the night that Cal got in the fight with Brodie.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: There's many uncomfortable people there. Anyway, it was kept the past.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: It was when I think it was when Campfire Stories.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: It was it was the celebration dinner for Campfire Stories,
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: and there was like a couple of fights. One of
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: the main fights that Browny Cow got it over was
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: the Elk management plan, Like really he did, and personal
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: if people started kind of looking around like Jesus really, Yeah,
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: Steve was asking everyone fashion what like the best part
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: of their marriage was. And Steve's answer was that not
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: only are Katie and Steve on the same page, but
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: they're on like the same word on the same page
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: when it comes to parenting, um, and just all the
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: things around that. And so that was exactly what you
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: just explained. Again, you feel the same way about that, Katie,
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: do Yeah. I think I mean not to just we
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: are getting very personal, but not to get super personal
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: about our relationship. But the I think we our fights
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: stem from where we perceive weakness and one another, which is,
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: you know, everybody, don't get married to her, ask and
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: then get a little sick, get married and catch COVID.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: Holy sh it, dude, it's like you had an affair.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: But but the flip side of that is that like,
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: I trust him, he's strong, he's capable, he's loyal, like
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: things that I know he feels about me. Um, and
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: we expect. We have very high expectations of each other,
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: sometimes punishing, punishingly high expectations of each other, and most
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: of the time that is to a good end. Sometimes
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: it's punishing. Now I want to hear about where we
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: can improve as the person leaving home to go hunting. Uh,
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: And I want us to predict first, like what our
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: spouse is going to say that we could be better about.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: I think that Shelby would say I could improve on
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: getting her a more firm schedule. Oftentimes it'll be like
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going in mid October to Wyoming to analope punt uh,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: and I'll be like, I will be gone sometime between
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: the tenth and fifteenth and get home sometime between the
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: I recognize that's a very hard thing to plan for
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: when you're the other person in the equation not knowing
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: like what this five day window is in a fifteen
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: day stretch. So I think that's something that if you
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: could make a request, would be that I get better
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: about my scheduling and giving you more firm dates. Yes,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's realistic, like at all. So many
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: of your hunts depend on the hunt prior, right, Like
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: whether or not you're even going to go to Wyoming
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: depends on if you get your archery buck in South
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: Dakota or whatever. I um, I guess if I had
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: to pick one thing I wish you were better at.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: I wish I just got to do more fun things
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: with you in the fall, right, like, we do fun
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: things all the time, will go camping whenever we want.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: We're very not tied down down anything, so we get
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: to be a little spontaneous. And I don't get to
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: do the cute cie like fall things, right, I don't
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: get to go out picking. We never carved a jack
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: O lantern. I want to do that, suf. I'm not
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: happy about it either. I know I would love Halloween
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: costume contest, Yes I would. I would hardcore be into
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: it if it wasn't in November. So it's just the
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: reality of it. Though, Danielle, what could Chester do better
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: when he listened to this episode? What's he going to
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: learn that he could improve on? M This is a
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: tough one. He's that good or there's a lot of
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: things that he can improve on. No, I mean, like
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: I think, well, he doesn't hunt as much as he
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: liked to. It's mainly everything I've talked about is work
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: because that is like it's on a hunt. A lot
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: of you guys, your troops are hunts. So that is
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: what I consider his his hunt schedule. When he's home,
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: he doesn't really hunt, at least he hasn't in a while. Like, Okay, yes,
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: I liked he fishes all the time. It's fishing for
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: all you guys you're hunting, it's fishing for Chester. So
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: he fishes all the time. So I guess to be honest,
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: now that just all like clicked. Um. I would say
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: a schedule is great because he's always like he always
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: comes up to me and he's like real nice. He's like,
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: do we have any plants? Because I don't think he did,
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: because I was going to go fishing. But if you
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: don't want me to go, I'll stay. Like I wish
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: I just knew more of Like I know, there's spontaneous
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: trips and he can't control it. But it is nice
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: when especially for my schedule because I'm so busy as well.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: It's just be nice and like, hey, I'm gonna be
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: gone for five days this day fishing. Somewhere at least
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: I knew, like, okay, sweet, you'll be gone. Let's try
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: to get let's try to do something before you leave.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: You and Kelsey should share a calendar so then instead
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: of like getting of the picture from your husband's, you'd
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: get the picture. No, we do. We do that because
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: there is fish together. Half time they're fishing together anyways
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: a lot always Yeah, yeah, now we do that, Kelsey.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: What could Seth do better? Um, well, I've been talking
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: about like our systems and our plans. Everything that actually
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: has worked out to the point where I don't have
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: a lot of gripes. Um. The only thing that's been
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: like a problem. And this only applies to meat eater
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: work trips. Honestly, Like I I love to hunt too,
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: So when Seth is hunting personally, I'm there, so this
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: is like not a personal hunt problem. But when he's
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: going on a work trip, it's very A lot of
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: times the turnaround between these things is like one day,
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: so it just naturally happens, and it's a lot of
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: times not this is out of his control that there's
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: like a tornado of ship left around the house just
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: because he's like in and out that only one person
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: is left to like handle So that's the only thing
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: that gets to me sometimes. But we talked about it
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: and it's gotten a lot better. Carrie tell Brodie how
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: he can improve well the the stuff lying around the
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: house when they get home with like the dump that thing.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: He knows that, But you know, I thought of one
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: other thing that Brodie doesn't really dump it in the yard.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: But then that's still got to be the awning or something.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Well I got dump in the house.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: But you know what does one thing he does do
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: well is he puts equal energy into planning outings and
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: doing things for our family and getting those trips together,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: and that means everything they're supposed to be talking about
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: something bad. I know, but I missed that part earlier.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: But it is. And it's really like when we're doing ups,
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: which we do all summer long, we do all fall.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: He really puts like he puts the whole thing together,
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: He gets the food together, he does a lot of
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: that's that work, and that's a important to our whole family.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: It really is a lot of our fun and good
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: times and memories around that. Janni, we're gonna needed to
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: role play here. What would your wife say that you
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: could improve on when you're going on a hunting trip.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: Just have the whole house spick and span and have
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: seven meals pre prepared with little instructions. Request like that
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: something that you can pull off and that she would
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: use to imagine that changed the whole dynamic. Man, I know,
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: but it might be like Yanni needs a whole extra
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: day before a trip to to do multiple Yeah. Yeah,
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: it's it's that's a lot of work to make meals.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: You know what if you just make a double batch
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: of things when you're triple and then just save one
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: for the trip. We do that. Just this is from
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: someone who doesn't cook. So you know, when someone dies
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: and in your neighbors bring over like a thing it's got.
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: It just says like three degrees, you know, a minute
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: degrees and ship just do all that a meal train.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: That's what they call special drawer to put him in
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: in the freezer and yeah, Monday drawer, Tuesday drawer. I
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: always said that we should start a little meat eater
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: spinoff reality show called Wives of Meat Eater. Yeah, what
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: would people witness? What? What would be like the entertainment there? Oh? Man,
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It actually would probably be very boring
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: in you know, in reality, but I like it, Katie.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: What what can Steve improve on for these trips? I
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: think the extending that wonderful five hour appreciation period to
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: just when he's home could be nice and instead of
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: But I do think I think the thing that he
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: does well, which is also a tip that I think
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: has changed, are at least in the planning, which has
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: been so hard to know, Like, okay, he always puts
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: things on the calendar at the he like over promises.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: What is the what am I trying to say? He
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: over under promises, over delivers um. He will say I'm
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: going to be gone for ten days and then sometimes
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: he'll come back and eight and then it's always like, oh,
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: that's great and unexpected, not when you have a nest.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: Well that's true, yeah, but that has been That's actually
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: been a big game changer for us because when it
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: was eight days and he didn't get it done and
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: needed to stay too extra, those two extra were like
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: the straw that broke the camel's back. So always, you know,
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: fudget a little and then come back early, even if
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: it was never planned. What you come home early, usually
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: you'll you'll promise more. You'll say you're going to be
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: gone longer than than you are. Yeah, that's just being
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: smart though, like the hot tip, it took ten years.
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: And I blame Shelby for when I do that. If
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: I come home after three days and I was supposed
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: to be gone five, I tell her she made the
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: home too comfortable. That makes me not want to leave it.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: That's her fault. That's cute. Did the rest of you
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: spouses get to participate in like Halloween costume parties and
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: carving pumpkins and Christmas shopping during the fall or is
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: that also just like dude? This year I grew the
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: damn hompkins. Are they coming along? Yeah, they're not like
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: state fair winners. But but you did it so you
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 1: didn't have to go with me. That's a hot tip
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: because she likes to go those those places where you
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: go like you know, get your like whatever. Man. Yeah,
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna make her a little I'm gonna make I've
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: growing her pumpkins. I'm gonna make a little Scavengers hunt
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: four in the yard. Her friend was saying, I should
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: do like a lit face painting booth and face painter
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: and have like my own little Halloween thing and then
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: don't need to have like cider and ship and then
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: I can just get all that taken care of about
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: my house and I need to go to some fake
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: pumpkin patch. You are all invited, and we can do
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: it when Spencer is around. Can we have that schedule? Yeah?
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even I don't. I don't have
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: any I can't. I don't really honest to see any
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 1: real areas for improvement. I mean no, no, no, I
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: have massive No, no, I have massive areas for improvement.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't really like. I mean, I
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: have like little gripes and stuff, but there's no like
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: sort of fundamental thing that that ought to be different.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I disagree our most recent argument where you
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: just were like, you're being a bit, let's stop being
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: a bit, and I was like, you're right, I'm being
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: a bit, so just in the general sense of yeah,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: called out. It was about like figure it out, our
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: fish shack. This is a lot of complicated accounting. At
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: the end of the summers, we haven't. It takes a
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: lot of balls off. I've never actually, you know, because
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: here's I want to wrap it up. It was only
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: after I called him she called me every name in
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: the book and was like insulting um, like like the
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: dumbest guy on the planets. I can't figure out certain
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: math things right, and and I like gave her a
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: little taste of her medicine, to which she said, you're right.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: Eventually took some convincing. That's kind of an awkward way
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: to end it, Spencer, sorry about that. It's it's good.
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: Just choose your moment to call your spouse a bit
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: and maybe it'll work. Don't do that. The word she
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: called me, I was like, Later she's like, I said,
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: you're being a and I said that you know you
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: left off you left off the being a. Yeah, she
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: said you are A and I was like, but I
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: was saying, like, if you said you're being a, that's
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: totally fine, but don't say I am A because that
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: feels like really like that cuts. We all have areas
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: for improvement. In particular there you have all that marriages
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: No mine, man, I'm in too deep now. Um. Yeah,
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: I honestly think that there's a lot of things that
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: come out of I think if you travel a lot
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: and do and do stuff, I feel like there's probably
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: plenty of people who can't manage their marriage and they
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: never go anywhere. Yeah, do you know what I mean.
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's like it's like trouble's gonna Trouble's gonna
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: find you and and it's gonna find whatever the thing
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: you have going on. Yeah, if you allow hunting to
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: cause a bunch of big problems, if you're probably in
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: trouble already, Probably in trouble already. But but like, uh,
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: I think I shared this perspective from and Katie totally disagrees.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: Me and my friend Tony one time were, um, it
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: had taken all of our kids clam digging which how
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: many how many kids they have four or three? He's
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: got a bunch of them. We took clam digging. This
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: is fighting on the same trip. He had his kids
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: in one of those backpack deels. I forgot to buckle
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: it in so a little kid and he bent over
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: to dig a clam that kids right out of water. Anyways,
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: you're like you gotta saying earlier. I always feel good
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: if I'm out with all my kids. Can I feel
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: like I'm not doing anything bad? Right, so I'm being
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: a good dad. We're outside like it's just you feel great. Um.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: And then we were gone super late and I remember
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: got pulled over by a policeman and we both got
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: a little bit. We both got kind of yelled at
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: over the phone, like his wife called and kind of
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: yelled at him. My wife called, kind of yelled at
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: your kids. Will were little little bit and um, Tony
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: said to me, Katie hates this quote. Tony said to me, Man,
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: if we were the way they wanted us to be,
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 1: they wouldn't like us, which I think we'd like him
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: a lot more actually, but yeah, it brings up I
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: don't know, I think it, Uh, it brings up interesting stuff.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: Marriage is fun, though, man um, I'd hate it. I
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: wouldn't want to go through life not being married, not
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 1: to hack on people that aren't married. I mean it's great,
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: but I'm just saying for me personally, I think it'd
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: be miserable. I would be miserable not being married. So
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 1: I have a good hunting season, no asterday trying to
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: stay married. He's all these tips. He's Yanni's tip where
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: you bake all these special dishes and leave instructions on him.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 1: Use Brodie's trick where you come home and put everything
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: neat and organized outside where no one has to deal
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: with it. You know, Spencer's trick where he comes and
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: just lays in the nest, talks about how great the
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: nest is. I don't embrace it. He despises the nests
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: and and everyone and everyone will be fine, all right? Uh?
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: Thanks tuning in as always, And oh you know what,
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: I forgot to give the best marriage advice ever. Cornett
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: McCarthy doesn't actually say this, but feels roll in his eyes.
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: It wouldn't be an episode of The Mediator podcast without
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: a Corrine McCarthy coke mo, it's not it's not a
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: corn McCarthy quote. It's a way that things work. In
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: Corn McCarthy's books. The worst thing you can do, if
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: you're like the way to the worst thing you can
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: do as a character and a Corine McCarthy novel is
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: act as though you didn't make a decision that you made.
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: Once you make a decision to go down a path,
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: there is no room to later sort of act like
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: you hadn't made that decision, Like you cannot live a
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: false reality because you'll die violently in his books. In
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: real life, you'll suffer mightily. That's all. Wait, what's the
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 1: advice that own it? Own it if you make a commitment.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: You made a commitment. A lot of good reasons for
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: people to get divorced if they choose to do that.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I own it if you can. Sure we
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: somehow made a more awkward ending at you're talking about
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: how you should call your spouse a bit being a
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: all right body. Thanks a lot to the pe