Latest / The Gill Athletics Track and Field Connections Podcast / #51: Gill1918 Presents Jamar Goodwin "Developing Elite Parents" Powered by Coach O

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#51: Gill1918 Presents Jamar Goodwin "Developing Elite Parents" Powered by Coach O · The Gill Athletics Track and Field Connections Podcast

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  Welcome to the Gill 1918 Project, a podcast series by
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  coaches for coaches, powered by Gill Athletics.
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  Think of it as the Ted Talks of track and field coaching.
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  Short, insightful, and packed with valuable strategies to help
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  you grow as a coach. This episode is part of the
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  Youth and Beginner Series, brought to you by Coach O.
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  In this series, we focus on topics relating to coaching
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  youth athletes, coaching beginner athletes of any age,
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  and supporting brand new coaches as they find their way.
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  With that in mind, let's grow. I'm Jamar Goodwin, better known
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  as Coach JA. Today we're going to do a deep
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  dive into a topic that all youth coaches must learn to navigate
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  if they expect to run a successful program long term.
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  No matter the sport, no matter the experience level, if you
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  coach a child, there's a parent or guardian that comes with
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  their child. Learning how to not only coach
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  your athletes but also manage the expectations of the parents
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  and yours is a crucial aspect in today's youth sports.
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  So today our topic is entitled Developing Elite Parents and
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  Sports. Let's face it, most parents were
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  not elite athletes when they were younger, so they were never
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  taught what it means to be elite and what one must endure and
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  sacrifice to reach those heights as a young athlete.
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  Although most parents mean well, not having walked through those
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  shoes themselves means they have a disconnect from what it means
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  to be an elite athlete and what they think it means to be an
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  elite athlete. Being a psychology major from
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  the University of South Carolina, I am always analyzing
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  and studying not only my athletes, but also their parents
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  and the interactions between the two.
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  Paying attention to how the parent interacts with the child
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  during practice will give you insight on how to bring out the
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  best in your athlete and how to avoid unnecessary conflict.
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  Within the parent athlete dynamic, you will encounter many
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  personality types of parents, all with their own little
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  nuances. But today we will discuss three
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  of the most common traits you will see when coaching.
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  These three traits are the helicopter parent, the absent
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  parent, and the parent coach. As we dissect each of these
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  parental personalities, we will discuss how to recognize these
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  personalities early, how and why each one can be detrimental to
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  the culture of your team, and how to circumvent problems and
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  coexist with these parents. Equipping yourself with this
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  knowledge will save you from a season filled with unnecessary
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  conflict and issues. All three of our parental
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  personalities can cause issues with your program, or at the
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  very least add to the already stressful job of coaching and
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  running a program. Your personality as a coach will
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  determine which personality type is easier to manage and navigate
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  around. So, in no specific order, our
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  first parental personality type is the helicopter parent.
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  The helicopter parent is easy to spike.
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  Everywhere their athlete goes, they go as well.
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  They rarely, if ever, leave the side of the athlete.
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  Although not to be confused with the parent coach, these are the
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  parents that see themselves as an extension of the coaching
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  staff. In their mind, they are
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  constantly hovering around their athlete, ready to protect them
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  from any adversity that may come along with participating in a
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  sport. These parents are quick to
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  coddle their athlete when they are not performing at the level
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  that they should, which creates A vicious cycle of mediocre
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  performance and at times undermining of the coaches.
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  One of the biggest issues with the helicopter parent is those
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  times when the athlete isn't performing at the expectations
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  that you as a coach know that they should be at.
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  At these times as a coach, there are instances where you have to
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  chastise and let the athlete know that they are not giving
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  their all. Once the coach has spoken, the
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  athlete 9 times out of 10 runs to the parent who is usually
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  around to witness the entire ordeal.
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  And the parent usually undermines the coaching by
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  saying something to the nature of you're doing your best, the
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  coaches being too hard on you, or something of the nature that
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  mediocre mindset individuals would say.
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  What this leads to is an athlete realizing that they don't have
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  to rise to the level that the coach sees in them because their
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  parent has ensured them that they are just enough.
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  While this may be a positive mindset to have in the regular
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  world, that is not how the world of sports is set up.
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  This ends up creating athletes who never rise to their full
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  potential because every time a challenging situation arises,
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  their parent is there to lessen the blow, causing their athletes
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  to never fully grow. Their parent is operating out of
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  the notion of protecting their child, but is in actuality
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  hindering their growth as an individual, causing the same
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  type of behavior to emerge in similar situations when they
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  become adults. The helicopter parent typically
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  doesn't let the athlete figure out things for themselves.
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  They are always there for the athlete, and instead of the
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  athlete learning how to handle situations or deal with
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  adversity that comes with sports, they are shielded from
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  it only to have to face it at a later time in life.
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  So as a coach, how should one deal with the helicopter parent?
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  There are various approaches that can be taken to deal with
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  these parents, but I found that the most advantageous approach
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  is bringing in the parent and ensuring them that their needs
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  and desires for their athlete is hurt.
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  When you ensure the parent that your expectations and concerns
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  for the athlete mirrors those of the parent, you will gain a
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  level of trust with the parent that will allow them to ease off
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  a bit knowing that their child is in good hands.
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  Now, this is not an overnight process, but with time and
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  persistence you can rest assured that the helicopter parent won't
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  hover as much. The opposite of the helicopter
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  parent is the absent parent. Absenteeism in sports can appear
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  in many different ways and it's important to note that just
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  because a parent is present doesn't mean that they are
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  involved. Some absent parents come to
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  practice or competitions and completely ignore everything
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  that's going on because they are using the time to be on the
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  phone or getting work done. They rarely know what's going on
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  with the team, and the coaches probably wouldn't recognize them
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  if they seen them out in public. Other absent parents pick up and
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  drop off their athletes, and that's as far as it goes.
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  You recognize these parents not by their face, but by their car.
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  They feel that they did their part by bringing their athlete
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  to practice and that's pretty much it.
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  By far the worst type of absent parent is the one who doesn't
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  show up at all. They know their child is an
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  athlete, but that's as far as it goes.
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  They don't go to any games and they definitely don't show up to
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  any practices. The absent parent occurs more
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  frequently than we realize, but we don't think much of it
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  because out of sight, out of mind.
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  So why is this a problem? A few reasons.
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  Now, not in every case, but this can be a reflection of the home
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  life. The child may be facing some
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  sort of neglect and that will carry over in their life outside
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  of the house. These are the kids that are
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  always seeking attention, typically in the classroom and
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  school setting. Usually their behavior is poor
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  because they are really just seeking the attention that they
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  are missing at home. The same behavior carries over
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  to athletics, but is usually magnified because sports tend to
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  give kids more social freedom than the typical classroom
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  setting. When athletes display behavior
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  congruent with those discussed, it is difficult to coach them
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  and the team. They are constantly talking and
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  distracting those around them. Their reps are low quality
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  because they typically aren't paying attention enough to do
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  the drills correctly. You will typically find these
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  athletes socializing with other underperforming athletes on the
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  team, but occasionally they spread to the high level
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  athletes causing them to be distracted as well.
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  This is when the problem can no longer be ignored if not
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  addressed earlier. The best way to work with the
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  absent parent is by getting the parent involved, even if it's by
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  a weekly update of the athlete. Sometimes these parents just
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  need to know that you want them out there and they will make an
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  effort once they've been told. But for those athletes whose
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  parents have no interest in being around, the best bet is to
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  keep those athletes close to the coaches if possible.
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  Their behavior usually boils down to the fact that they want
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  attention anyway, so when applied correctly, this could be
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  a great strategy. Not only will the athletes start
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  to feel like someone cares, they will also become more engaged
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  and take the sport serious. Making this athlete a drill
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  leader is a great way to show them that they are seen and also
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  force them to stay focused and to execute properly.
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  The key with these athletes is to always remember that what
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  they are portraying is a reflection of something deeper.
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  As a coach, we can't replace a parent, but we can always show
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  our athletes that they are seen in value.
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  Our last parent in this series is the parent coach.
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  The parent coach is always going behind the coach, giving extra
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  pointers and tips while not always undermining the coach.
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  This parent is always adding on or contributing to what you or
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  your coaching staff is trying to relate.
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  While in moderation this can be beneficial, but there are levels
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  that can be detrimental to your program.
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  The parent coach that you don't want to encounter is the one who
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  thinks they know more than the coach, and it's quick to try to
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  prove it. This is the parent who would
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  tell the athletes to do something the coach didn't or
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  perhaps the total opposite. These parents typically have
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  their own agenda and could care less about the team or the
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  coaching. A lot of times you will see them
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  giving their athletes extra work no matter what was done at
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  practice. A true coach understands that to
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  have a successful season you have to continuously look at the
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  bigger picture and build your program around that.
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  The parent coach isn't Privy to to this vision and typically
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  does things that are detrimental to that vision like over
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  training their athlete. The biggest issue that comes
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  from having an athlete who has a parent coach is when dealing
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  with an athlete that undermines the coaching because they
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  believe what their parent tells them is primary.
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  This makes the athlete hard to reach and coach because their
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  athlete feels like their parental figure is the authority
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  and has all the answers. You typically see signs of this
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  by the athlete going to the parent for something before they
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  go to the coach, looking for the parents for feedback before they
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  look for the coach, and blatantly telling the coach that
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  their parent told them they should do it this way.
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  The obvious problem with the parent coach is that they are
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  creating a ripple in your program and showing a lack of
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  respect. Many parent coaches think that
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  they know more than the coach, but one thing they can't know is
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  the vision the coaches has for the team and the athletes.
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  When the parent coach has a strong hold over their child, it
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  is hard to effectively coach the athlete, especially if it is
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  something the athlete is doing incorrectly and the parent coach
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  is reinforcing it. The parent coach personality
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  trait appears in various degrees.
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  The lower degrees are easiest to work with.
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  Typically, you can let those parents know you are an
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  authority and their athlete is in good hands.
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  Once the parent coach verifies this and they are less likely to
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  continue their coaching with other parents in this category,
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  you can let them know the game play and strategy for coaching
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  their athlete so that when they do start parent coaching they
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  are at least reinforcing what you want them to teach.
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  There is really only one of two options for the parent coach
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  that operates on a higher degree.
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  These are the parent coaches that are going to do what they
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  want regardless of what you express to them.
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  The first option is that you can just let the parent deal with
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  them, but depending on the sport this is an unrealistic approach.
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  The other option, although the least desired, is you have to
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  remove the athlete and the parent from the team.
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  Having a cancerous parent and or athlete in your program can
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  cause unnecessary strife and the earlier you remove it the
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  better. As coaches, especially youth
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  coaches, we give our all out of love.
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  With that love comes its fair share of issues, many of which
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  are parents learning how to effectively and efficiently
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  navigate through the world of sports.
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  Parents will ensure a successful program for years to come.
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  There will always be bumps in the road and issues that arise,
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  but managing the parents is just as important as how you manage
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  your team. When you create a culture where
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  the parents see your vision and respect it, they will pass it to
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  the new parents, creating a standard that everyone must
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  adhere to. The key to doing this
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  successfully is ensuring everyone is on the same page and
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  being unwavering with your team score values.
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  Hey gang, Mike Cunningham here. Thanks for joining us for this
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  episode in the Youth and beginner series Powered by Coach
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  O Powered by Coach O is more than a platform.
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  It's a movement to benefit track and field by supporting coaches,
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  athletes, parents, officials and event directors in countless
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  ways. Find out more and get yourself
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  plugged in to the Powered by Coach O by visiting coacho.com
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  today. Yeah.