Latest / Keeping it Real with Erin and Terry / Episode 7 - Going Inward: Finding peace in the chaos

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Episode 7 - Going Inward: Finding peace in the chaos · Keeping it Real with Erin and Terry

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Welcome to Keeping It Real with Erin and Terry.
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Sponsored by Imperfection by Erin.
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And produced by Magic Door Studio.
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Last week's episode we talked about how crazy and manic our
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lives are everyday. This week.
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We're going to talk about spirituality, meditation, some
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of the crazy lens that we have went to.
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Well, that we have to go to see in order to preserve our sanity.
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Yeah, and seek inner peace. Yes, which is very hard to do
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these days. So Terry just told me before we
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came on the parties, like I'm really emotional today.
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And I was like saying. For the party, I, I, it wasn't
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actually today, it was just I'm having a period of over at the
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moment, over days. Remember I told around to you
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yesterday. I was like, remember I was at
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the back of him. Do you know what it is?
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I'll tell you what it is. Yeah, it's because.
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He's been so unwell. I think, I think I'm traumatized
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that we're getting his Bloodstone the other day, right?
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And like last week, and I think I had more of an effect on me
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than I actually knew it would have.
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Do you get me? Even though I'm like right
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command, this has to get done. When it's done, I'm like, like,
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do you get me? Yeah, it's, it's obviously.
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I think I'm the type of person. I'm the type of person, right,
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Who would snap? OK, I, I, I'd snap, right?
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I'd very, very quickly. And easily.
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What? And easily.
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Say that again. And easily.
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And easily, very easily, I will snap ball and I'd lash out.
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Maybe I'd do something, you know, and then.
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Verbally. Verbally, right?
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But even if it wasn't like years ago and I'd feel down 2 minutes
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later, I'd be distraught over having to do after doing it, you
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know what I mean? Yeah, because you have a
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conscience. Yeah, that's that's the thing.
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Like I snap and then I'm like, oh Jesus, John.
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Like, anyway, I kind of don't like that about myself.
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I'd like to be kind of, it's very tricky because it's like
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you're snappy, but yeah, you're, you're empathetic as well.
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It's it's kind of a bit of a. So I suppose that comes down to
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the tools that we've tried to learn over the years.
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And I guess I was on a retreat this weekend, if that's what we
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want to call it. It was.
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I thought it was going to be error.
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Treat a little bit more. What was it?
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Was what was it? So I guess I had this like
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perception, like probably most people who are working on
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themselves or doing meditation or breath walk or doing inner
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walk, that's all airy fairy and it is not airy fairy.
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So there was moments on this course where I went, shit, I
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don't like this. OK so stop.
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Can I stop you? When you say airy fairy, you
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mean of pink clouds and fluffy feathers and this and that.
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Well, like, as in you're just sitting down doing meditation,
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but you're actually what you're really saying is you're facing
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your demons. Exactly.
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And I think that's the thing that probably.
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That's where the real money is at though.
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That's the money shatters. Oh, I know.
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And that. We only find that out after
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sorry for cutting across you. And I think that's why most
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people try to avoid it. Yeah.
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But I think when you're in the depths of it, like there's often
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been times and especially where Harry, where things have been
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really tough, like really, really.
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And you're seeing him in a lot of pain and you don't know how
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to fix it. And you're like, if somebody
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came down and told. Me, I can't even.
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It's hardly that does it for me. Well, obviously he's your
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biggest teacher. I just.
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Cannot stand to see him in pain. Yeah, because it makes us feel
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hopeless. Oh, I feel so powerless as a as
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a father figure to him, like when he's like that, like I just
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I want to have fixed and what I can't.
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And I think that's one of the hardest things to actually have
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to do. Sorry,
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it's been a pretty tough week This week we're launching the
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new jumpers. Harry's been really sick.
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Terry's been gigging. And when Harry.
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The gig is the easy practice. It's just I don't know how to
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fix this. Like this lad the way a father
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should, a parent should. Some of the times I think we're
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doing the best we can, but like, sometimes it just seems like
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it's never enough to get what we want for him, not for us, for
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him, you know, and. I guess on the retreat when we
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said about youth, you know, you asked me there about what was it
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like the money shop of like, what was the deepness that you
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didn't like that was hidden? And there was moments where I
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was like, is this my fault? Like what did I do?
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This is wrong. Yeah.
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I've, I've faced demons in my life, right?
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I am in and I have no problem in telling people this.
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I am in recovery. People know, a lot of people
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know my past. A lot of people don't know my
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past. But I had a drug addiction
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problem and all that comes with it from a young age.
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And I was very, very lucky to survive that.
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I'm not making this all about me.
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It's about what was right. And Bull, how I'm walking this
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in is I was one of the ones that survived.
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One of the few in fact, who survived from a lot of people
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that hung around with or was around, they wouldn't say
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necessarily hung around with Bull.
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You don't have many friends in addiction Bull.
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And I survived it, thankfully. But it was true spiritual aids
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that were shown to me by people including that manner passed
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away a few few weeks ago. Or the spirituality doesn't end,
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you have to keep on it. At the site taking your vitamins
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I know. This Whether you're Whether
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you're clean on drugs, drinking or sober, you must keep your
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spirituality in check these days, I find, because
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spirituality are you know, drugs don't only come in forms of mind
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altering substances anymore. They come in phones, walk, you
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know, human beings. Gambling.
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Cars, anything, you name it. Just distractions really.
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Distractions. But the one thing I need to face
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is, and it's not a demon, but it's my fear.
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Fear for my son. It's I, I just have this thing,
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this powerlessness. That's the demon.
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It's powerlessness that I cannot fix them.
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And I think that is a journey. Very, very difficult.
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I think that's a journey in itself.
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So this week I'm trying to get through it.
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So I go into autopilot and I go, OK, we got to stay calm.
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I got to stay calm for Terry. I got to stay.
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I got to stay calm for Harry. We got a lunch to do.
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He's not well, we're going to get you this.
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And I go into that the anchor. So you might nearly see me,
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probably switched off. And I nearly try to avoid Terry
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because I'm like I can't feel any other.
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Emotion, that's where it is. And that's why.
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And then that creates friction between me and you because
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you're dealing with that is this is what we spoke with before.
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You deal with your way, I would deal with my way.
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And I'm like, what's wrong with her?
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And that's nearly. I I personalize because of my
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own defects. Yeah.
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Do you get me? There's something wrong with her
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now. Now she's at now she she has a
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problem with me. You know, it's kind of thing,
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all this mad thinking in your head.
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Sometimes they do have. Problems.
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Yeah, I know you do. That's fine.
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But I'm just saying when you're on a fix or mode, sometimes I
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personalize that as much to go what the hell did I do wrong?
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And then all of a sudden, you know what I mean?
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Like, yeah, where it's for me to see it as it is and that this is
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your coping mechanism. And I think that's where, you
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know, in life, people might say, oh, I don't believe in this or I
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don't believe in that. But when this shit hits the fan,
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it's like, how do you cope? What do you do?
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How many times have you questioned what is this life
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about? Like I actually asked.
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I actually asked myself that. I've asked, I've asked myself
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that so many times. I would last few weeks
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especially. I don't know what it is.
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I think summertime was always really difficult as well because
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Harry is off school and I know that he's our routine.
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But he's not off school now. He was just sick.
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But we're we're coming up to it when he becomes anyway sick and
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effects them again. We feel so powerless.
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So I go into autopilot trying to hold everything together.
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Terry's reaction probably isn't the way I would like it to be.
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I'm, I'm not going to lie about that.
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I have my own issues around that.
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And that's where applying these mechanisms of like spirituality
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and what that looks like for you.
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And when you have a child with additional needs or you have a
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parent that you have to look after or you have a really busy
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schedule, how do you actually take time to have self-care?
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And how do you make that time for yourself to go in and look
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at those parts? Because this is where I think
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people don't really realize about a, a, a spiritual way of
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life is we're conditioned by the people we're around or the way
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we grew up or the, the baggages that we're carrying around.
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Not only are we carrying that around, we're also dealing with
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other people constantly. And it's hell then it's
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affecting our everyday life. And I think years ago when I
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forced was into spirituality, people use this like that all
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the time. And it's so funny because like
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we talked about me like in Botox and I love like I have my
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boobies done and I, I get lip filler.
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But yeah, I am so drawn to breath walk, spirituality, sound
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bowls, pranic healing, Reiki. And, and the truth is because I
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just want inner peace. That's it.
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But I don't see and I don't agree why there is a contrast
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between that. Well, well, because again, the
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preconceived idea was. Somebody's opinion.
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Yeah, and years ago. Fair enough to entitle their
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opinion, but it doesn't mean they're right.
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But years. Ago I know, I know that you're
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genuinely, I know for a fact, even though you have whatever
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procedures you have had done, you know, like I know for a fact
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that your heart is as big as anybody's heart.
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Yeah, you know what I mean. And again, I think like, how are
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we coping in today's society? Really Like what?
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What are we doing like? I wish I just didn't have the
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ability to think, I swear to God.
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Well, you need to do your spirituality rooms the last time
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we meditated. Umm, for that, to be honest.
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So this is what I'm talking about.
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It's like taking your vitamins, you go OK, and you do your
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meditation or you do your prayers or you whatever it is
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you do to centre and ground yourself and walk on yourself.
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And because life gets so busy, we don't put that at the
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forefront. And then this is kind of when
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the shit hits the fan, we can't deal with it.
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And then when the shit hits the fan, like I'd often ring me
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friends and I'd be like. When the when the shit hits the
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fan, we always deal with it because we're still here.
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Yeah, but it's how we're dealing with it.
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Like obviously your emotions are a little bit off.
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So how do you feel then when you meditate?
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I'll. See.
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Yeah. I don't know.
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So as your wife, when you're in a good space and you've been
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practicing your meditation, you've been practicing your
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recovery walk, I get to see a calmer, more present Terry.
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When you don't, we get maybe the 14 year old Terry who can't deal
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with things. So same with me.
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I can't. When I am now looking after
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myself immensely and trying to ground myself, I can't cope with
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him. 1414 year old Terry just wants to run away from
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everything from the world in fact.
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But that's not life, Terry. No, it isn't, Jerry.
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And like a 14 year old Aaron just keeps wanting to fix
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everything for everyone and keep on walking.
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Like literally this is where this comes in for me.
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So this has come up for me as well.
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And this is probably like we're over sharing here as usual.
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This episode wasn't even supposed to be deep.
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And I feel like it is pretty deep, but I've been walking,
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walking, walking, and I'm like, there's very little room for,
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like, enjoyment in my life right now.
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Why am I doing that? And if I dig deep enough, it is
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because I'm trying to set something up for Harry.
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Can I just stop? You can I stop you some?
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And this offends me, OK, Right. Stop saying aye, Yeah, you can
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say, oh, if we split up, yeah, you're more than welcome to,
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which is not going to happen, by the way, but if we ever do.
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But when we are together, you won't say, oh, you say we OK, is
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that OK with you? I find that really difficult.
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Well, you may find it to try and deal with it because I get
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offended when you say that. Sometimes I do feel like I'm on
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my own. So do I, but I don't say I.
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I think as well. So when you're stressed out like
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this, right? So say you're stressed out
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because her, her we, we obviously we've just said we've
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haven't had the best week. It's not us.
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Harry hasn't had the best week, right.
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So I don't want to add that on to you.
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So I'll try and take all of it. And then how?
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Could you not add it on to me? I'm in the house living with
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you. I'm living with you.
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I can hear them. Do you think I'm deaf or
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something? Or I, I, I walk around the
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house. No, probably already shut off.
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Other things I might like so I wouldn't like, like maybe things
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that need to be done like walk so far around the house so far.
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So I would lean a lot on my tell.
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Everyone what I was doing yesterday for the day.
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The trampoline. Yeah, What was it down when I
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wasn't bouncing on it? He took the trampoline apart
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because we were reorganizing it, because we wanted it a new way,
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and we got a new part. So he dismantled the whole thing
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that struck into the ground, pulled it apart to put the new
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parts in, and the new parts were wrong.
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And they didn't even send me out the full thing.
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Who was a bite, actually? That doesn't matter not.
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Going to say the Catalan. We want our bits for our
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trampoline. So Terry done all that work for
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absolutely not. No, but.
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So basically, don't tell everyone I do.
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I don't be doing nothing around the gaffe, Yeah.
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No, you see that's. That's me whole point.
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Why do you why do you personalize everything?
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Because that's what you said. No, I didn't say that.
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I say when you were like that. I, my defect is I tried to take
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it on and I actually probably bored and all my friends,
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because all my friends have to show up for me.
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They, I would lean on them. So I would lean on the female
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energy a lot. So I would go to my friends.
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So the difference between male and female, by the way, and this
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is all the stuff I've learned and all the retreats over the
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years. Remember I'm doing this since
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I'm like 23, I'm 45 this weekend, right?
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Men talk and women feel, so we feel things and we process
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things differently. Did you say men talk and women
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feel? Yes, so you'll talk about some,
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but we feel it so you can have a conversation where we feel the
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conversation. We want to be feeling it, right?
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Men, they don't feel that kind of stuff the way we would,
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right? No, also.
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We don't talk that much. Either they do say that men
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can't multitask OK and women do. So let's just say a woman has
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has a problem. Now I'm just going off what I've
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talked about, what I've learned, what I've noticed even I do with
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all my friends. And also I want to give out a
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shout, a shout out to my amazing friends this week.
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We've had the most powerful women come around me this week
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that have held me up for the past few years to be honest and
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show up for me, and sometimes I don't.
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I asked myself why I'm so lucky to have these girls around me.
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So I just wanted to take that second to say that.
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But as women, we, and this and I is Terry, talk about the same
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thing over and over and over again because we're dissecting
19:02
it and processing it and talking.
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About it because I know you do that just annoying me.
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I just don't want any part of it.
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He doesn't want any parts, but he wants me to.
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So, so he wants me to leave him alone.
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So that's why a lot of the times I just do, I'll carry some stuff
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because I, I know I don't want to add on to your stuff.
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So we're with men, how they handle things is, is if I come
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to you with a problem, you want the solution.
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So when a man sees a problem, he goes, here's a solution.
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Do we where a woman is like no, no, no, I need to process all
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these feelings 10 times. You, I think.
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I think The thing is use women like the fail.
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Well, because that's how we that's.
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What we do, we like to fail. Well, we're just, we don't want
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to fail. We just want it done.
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So that's the difference between men and women, and I think
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that's the difference even between how you choose like.
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Meditation. Like me and Terry, we don't even
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like the same meditation. No, I like, I actually, and I
20:14
have to say this, this is a this is a defect of mine, right?
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I look at everything in my life, Yeah, as a job and in and
20:21
because of that, right, programming, I don't enjoy much.
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But that's really sad. It's terrible.
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So like what can we do? So like.
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Like, I don't know, when I became like this was, I like to
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say as a kid, I don't know. I've like I've looked at
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photographs because I was a child that I don't know what I
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said this already, but I look sad about the photographs.
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I think life has become so. I've never looked happy as a
20:53
child or as anything, an adult in my opinion, in photographs.
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I don't know. I don't know what happened
21:01
there. I want to say something funny
21:04
because I want to try and lighten up and be like, do you
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hate your wife? Do you?
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Hate. Your life.
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When I was a kid. But this?
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We've had amazing times as my wedding day was when the was the
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best wedding day I've ever had me.
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It was the best day I've ever enjoyed in my life.
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The reality is is OK and this is the bottom line.
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Take away absolutely everything. Take away all of the shit.
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We are carrying a heavy load when it comes to our son.
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Yeah, that's the major part, yeah.
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And a lot of and listen. And before we start getting
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ridiculed, we know we're not the only people that we know, people
21:52
who are going through the same stuff.
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Pete lads get in touch with me as well.
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I don't even know the lads personally and they're, they're
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telling me, you know, from Scotland, from Wales, people
22:03
contact me and, and they're going through exactly the same
22:06
stuff. It like it's, it's so, eh,
22:09
difficult to navigate through that kind of this kind of area
22:14
that we're in. Most people will.
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They actually need community for it.
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Yeah, most people will wear their children till they're 18.
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They'll try their best to put them on the right Rd., you know,
22:28
hopefully that they'll find a life partner, they'll get a a
22:32
good job, they will be happy and healthy.
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And what we don't realize, it's actually fun functioning.
22:41
So like living in a nice house with a nice partner.
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If children are part of their journey, you know, doing
22:47
something for a job that they like and be as stress free as
22:51
possible. OK, and wear them to be good
22:54
people the best you can as a parent and send them out into
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the real world. That's what is AKA the norm in a
23:03
coma. OK, we don't have that reality.
23:09
So emotionally that is always heavy on your chest.
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So I remember doing breath work. OK, sometimes I don't like
23:27
sharing this because again, when you're on social media and
23:30
you're really vulnerable, people can use that against you and
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they can be mean. Yeah, we're strong enough to
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deal with that kind of stuff. Well, not all the time.
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Yeah, but you we still get through it.
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But we, I was doing Brett work because like that I was trying
23:46
to accept that I won't be around forever and that fear of how I'm
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going to help and when I'm not here is so heavy and so
23:59
overpowering that it, it literally stops you in your
24:04
tracks. And if you think about it,
24:05
you're just like, I actually can't breathe.
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So we were doing our breath work and I'm in fetal position.
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Retreat the other day was it? And this was one of my other
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ones that I did ages ago. And I remember going like into
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fetal position and you're breeding.
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I think it goes into like it's a really deep breath work.
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So you kinda like it's, it obviously does something to your
24:32
brain when you're breathing at this kind of level and the music
24:35
is in your ears and it's very like, you know, you're lifting
24:38
kind of supposed to be out of your body, right?
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And obviously, again, I was, I'm looking to do the best I can to
24:44
support my son and be present. And I remember being in in my
24:49
mind in the fetal position and be like, why my baby?
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And I just kept screaming that over and over again.
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And I was like, why my baby? You're.
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Actually screaming? Are we in your head screaming?
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In my head screaming, actually I must have been crying because
25:06
the facility, the facilitator came over and was rubbing me
25:13
back and he was like, it's OK. So even though we're getting on
25:20
in life and we're we're doing things in life, subconsciously,
25:26
all of this stuff we're feeling, whether it is from your
25:32
childhood or from your walk or your past relationships, you
25:36
think that you might be over things, but a lot of the times
25:39
you're still carrying it. And unless you unpack that.
25:43
Can I, can I stop you for one minute on what you're talking
25:47
about? I'm not disagreeing with you,
25:49
but you can't disagree with me. But I'm not disagreeing with
25:52
you. I, if I, if I, if I feel like I
25:55
disagree, I would say, oh, I don't.
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I believe that there are certain traumas that happen in life,
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Yeah, that we never get over. And they stay out.
26:08
That's my experience. And they stay with us,
26:12
unfortunately. Well, I think you have a choice.
26:14
You either learn and. Grow.
26:17
And you grow, and you take your lessons from me.
26:20
Yeah, but you learn to manage it.
26:21
It depends on that type of person you are in.
26:23
Yeah. And everybody has different.
26:25
Yeah, you know what I mean? And I think nowadays, like we
26:29
were also talking about this the weekend as well.
26:31
Like, I know religion is not for everybody, OK?
26:37
And I know that religion in a lot of countries and a lot of
26:41
different religions done lots of bad stuff, right?
26:46
But there is a lot of good things in it too.
26:49
I think sometimes they took it, they took the mis mean and of it
26:53
they suited it to make them suit themselves and then people you
26:57
know. But that's not the religion,
26:58
that's the people. Exactly.
27:01
But I, I find nowadays, especially with social media and
27:05
younger people and the pressure that everyone is under, we don't
27:10
have anywhere to go anymore. Like years and years ago.
27:15
Like even Terry's ma. So Terry's ma is 80.
27:17
Like she goes down and lights our candles.
27:20
Light candle for you. I literally, I literally spoke
27:24
to my mother on the way over here for 30 solid minutes right
27:30
on the phone and we were speaking about things and it was
27:33
now we were just talking about, we tend to talk about it all,
27:38
you know, past stuff and all that kind of stuff.
27:43
And what like my ma's at the age where she's can't do the things
27:47
she used to do. So now she has to adjust her
27:50
life to do other things. And a huge, huge thing for her
27:56
it's she's not doing it for anyone else.
27:58
She's saying I'd like a candle for you, but she's doing it for
28:02
herself, as in to feel that she's doing something good for
28:06
the world. Do you get me?
28:08
Yeah, but that's great. Cam, what I mean is she not good
28:11
for the world? I don't mean it's it's like
28:13
world change in life. She's putting out good, as you
28:15
say, good energy camera. And I think nowadays.
28:20
That's lost. We have lost that and.
28:22
Cannot the reason why it's lost, let me show you.
28:27
The phones, unfortunately. Unfortunately, we live in this
28:32
technological age now and there's an old saying, and I
28:38
always call them the 12 steps to heaven that would, they're my
28:41
spiritual, that's my spiritual design for life that got my life
28:46
back together and the 12 steps to heaven.
28:49
And there is one that there's a phrase and one of them in one of
28:53
the books that says the problem with language is that they're
28:57
the feeling of it is lost. Yeah, do.
29:00
You know what I mean? And duty was just reading off
29:03
screens, you know, not kind of communicating in person the way
29:09
we are here. You're not feeling energy.
29:13
The energy is being lost. We're not seeing the human side,
29:18
so our communities. Are gone.
29:19
The human energy side just want to talk.
29:21
Our communities are gone. We're also busy because the cost
29:24
of living is so expensive. Everybody's trying to, you know,
29:27
everybody is looking at everyone else thinking they should be
29:30
doing more and we're on the rat race to everywhere and we're not
29:35
actually being. And we spoke about that and even
29:39
a few minutes ago how like even when we're trying to sit down
29:42
and relax, your mind is constantly.
29:44
To know, right, 50 years ago, OK, did people now obviously
29:52
they didn't have podcasts, right, or this kind of
29:55
technology here, but did they sit around right, saying
29:58
wherever they were, a table somewhere, a pub, wherever the
30:01
hell? And did they give out about the
30:04
same principles that we're giving out about now?
30:08
Back then, according to what technology was or wasn't out
30:13
there? Was there a lack of humanity
30:16
back then? Do you get me?
30:20
Maybe. I mean, are we still kind to
30:25
each other? I think people have forgotten to
30:27
be kind to each other and. Everyone's, yeah.
30:30
Or maybe it's the. World we're living in.
30:31
Pressure to be kind. Or is it all that's under too
30:34
much pressure? Like, are we?
30:36
I know I feel like I I'm under pressure all the time.
30:39
Is that? Not from you.
30:41
Now that's me. But what I'm saying is, is that
30:44
an old thing? Because like we've often seen,
30:47
like, you know, Chris, who does the liberty soup, Bron Katherine
30:50
Mckenney, who's that panic healer, They are such good human
30:54
beings. Like, it's just natural to them
30:56
to, like, give good karma. So there is great people.
31:03
Out there, especially Chris, Chris is one-of-a-kind because
31:07
Chris, I know personally and you know, Chris has had a straight,
31:12
he's has, has, he's had his own struggles, right?
31:16
But he gets grief on social media from people every single
31:24
day of the week, right? This man does a full time job,
31:29
claims it comes home, probably has a 5 minute dinner, jumps
31:34
into a van and goes around the city for the night feeding
31:37
people, and people are giving him grief.
31:41
How dare you do it to him? Terry's getting really angry
31:44
Friday, Chris. So I'm sorry, but I don't agree.
31:47
I, I, I think these people need to literally, I don't want to
31:53
give like they need to smack in the mouth yet get out and do it.
31:58
If that's the case, see what's on your streets and see what he
32:01
is trying to do and stop giving the man grief.
32:05
And again, I think. It takes up literally 60% of his
32:10
life I'm sure, but if not more. And that, to him, was just like
32:16
a natural. And it's nothing to him.
32:17
Yeah. And you meet him.
32:19
Terry. I'm so pretty.
32:20
Would you mind coming down? But I I you know what, Chris?
32:23
I'll do whatever you want from me.
32:24
No problem. I'll do and you want.
32:27
And you asked me to do. I'll do for you.
32:29
I'm so thankful to you. I'm thankful to you, actually,
32:32
not the other way around. I'm thankful to you.
32:36
So that's what I mean. So we've seen people like in
32:38
like, I have seen people who are like, churchgoers and like,
32:42
maybe, let's say religious. And yeah, they're the most
32:45
judgmental, mean people you'll ever meet.
32:49
And then you'll see somebody who, like, probably doesn't live
32:52
what we'd consider a clean life. They're way kinder, less
32:56
judgmental. They have more Christianity in
33:00
their bones than other people. So do.
33:03
You think that sounds just personality so there or is it
33:08
learnt? Do you think that's learnt or do
33:09
you think it's I think it's learnt.
33:13
I think there's a combination if if I'm honest.
33:15
It's learning behaviour or mindset.
33:18
I don't know if AM I going to be a bit out there and say is this
33:30
our only life? Well, I'm listen, since we start
33:33
here, Yeah, I'm at the crowd being crying.
33:35
I'm at the ripping the head off. Anyone says I'm bad about the
33:39
liberty super on a Chris so carry on.
33:43
This was supposed to be like tips on how to stay calm.
33:46
Don't marry Terry Cavani. Maybe I was your test.
33:51
You do test me though. Sometimes I actually honestly.
33:54
Bit late for that. I haven't even got mine on
33:56
today. Oh.
33:57
Jesus, he's trying to tell me something, mate.
34:02
No, you, you when I'm stressed. Hello ladies.
34:08
You can have them. Don't go to women.
34:11
A crisis yet? I didn't hear.
34:12
Don't go. Don't.
34:13
Fuck, don't bring me any crisis. Yet don't go to women a crisis
34:16
because you know what you'll do? Fix the trampoline?
34:19
Yeah. That's what he'll do when the
34:21
gaff is upside down and you need loads of things.
34:24
Don't. He'll go out and fix the
34:25
trampoline, No? Problem.
34:26
She was hanging out of a few hoops of the trampoline.
34:28
Yes, they holding it up for me and Archibus, Right?
34:31
Anyway, go on, see what you want to say something there.
34:33
You were going to say I'm gone. Go out there and say something.
34:36
Oh yeah, is this the only life we have like.
34:43
Well, I don't know, because you know, the healer that we speak
34:45
to believes that. Not like I don't remember myself
34:49
being in another life and I don't know what it was.
34:54
What like what happens to yourself?
34:55
I don't even remember my childhood.
34:57
Like so like if they don't like or so they don't teach religion
35:00
and skills anymore and and that's fine, but like, do we
35:04
still believe that like we have souls and that it's OK?
35:09
We cannot, we cannot explain energy right.
35:17
You come into this room right now and you can feel the energy.
35:22
The ice cold energy. Well, it's actually me trying to
35:25
protect myself of of like a shield from my healing weekend,
35:27
like keep carrying energy away from me.
35:30
OK, she's bouncing back. She's bouncing back.
35:34
So if you go out right. So if you go into a room and you
35:38
you don't know that the couple is after being fighting, but you
35:41
could cut the air. Oh no, there's definitely you
35:45
can feel energy of people. Right. 100%.
35:48
You leave someone you can feel a good energy or a bad energy, so
35:51
we know that's real. We emit energy.
35:54
Yeah, a 100%. So we are constantly admitting
35:59
energy. I'd love to know from what part
36:02
of our body biologically does that come from?
36:06
So we're obviously all connected as one.
36:09
So as a ma'am, OK. I don't believe that.
36:13
I don't know about that. Go on.
36:17
As a mother, OK, mothers will agree with me on this.
36:21
It doesn't matter how old your children are, you still feel
36:25
hugely connected to them because that cord is so attached to them
36:31
even when they're like much older.
36:36
So like all of that is attachment.
36:40
Umm, like what you said earlier on, you're like, oh, when I when
36:43
I scream and shout and I blow the top and then I feel really
36:46
guilty for it. So you're reacting and you're
36:48
exploding, but you're probably higher self goes.
36:55
That wasn't really a nice thing to do.
36:59
Yeah, I feel, I honestly do feel about myself, Yeah, that I am a
37:05
seriously emotionally damaged person.
37:10
And I believe that the way I chose to cope with it as a young
37:14
person made me worse, obviously. And thankfully I did get myself
37:22
together, but it was at the start of my, it was 31 when I
37:25
got myself together. So I had to learn basically all
37:29
the stuff that you would normally go through, you know,
37:32
when you were in the Picket Fans family and everything is fine
37:35
and dandy and you you're not the natural progression of growing
37:38
up. I had to go through that stuff
37:42
to start doing all that stuff like that you do when you're
37:44
kind of late teens into your 20s.
37:48
In my 30s going into my 40s. But I definitely think tear that
37:53
your perception of that is is like that people had this great
37:56
life and they they the white pick offence.
37:58
Most people didn't have that. And if we actually look at our
38:01
generation now? I agree with you, but the point
38:04
I'm making is the things that I did and the trauma that I went
38:11
through damaged me emotionally. So my I'm emotionally immature
38:17
as a person and that brings a smile to your face because I
38:21
just told you what you want to hear.
38:24
Am I? Right or wrong, I have to bring
38:25
humor into this because. Like am I right or wrong?
38:28
I could have told you that. 12 years.
38:30
Well, actually, I couldn't have told.
38:31
Me that 12 years ago? Because I told myself that 12
38:33
years ago. I thought you'd be over by now.
38:37
No. A book on our retreat.
38:41
Sign us up. What Brett walk session is next.
38:44
He's going on the next retreat. What you doing?
38:46
Next, how many days we're going for?
38:49
I don't know, but don't come back till you're fixed because I
38:51
don't want to know. Right, I'll see you in the next
38:54
life. But what I will say when Terry
39:01
is talking about. I have to say your coordination
39:03
levels in this podcast are very bad.
39:05
I'm always drinking more than you.
39:06
Go ahead. Good for you, I do think.
39:09
I tell them give them something else bad about me.
39:12
I do think in today's society that a lot of young people are
39:18
struggling. There's a lot of addiction out
39:21
there. There's a lot of cocaine.
39:23
Use. There's a lot.
39:24
Of gambling use. There's parents, you know,
39:28
because they're trying to escape the pressure and they have no
39:32
way. And you're getting one major
39:34
thing. Sex.
39:36
Porn use, yeah. Also, there's a lot of other
39:39
things that and they're only the things that we as us adults now
39:44
know about. So all these are these kids or
39:48
whatever, teenagers to early 20s somethings.
39:52
They probably have things going on that we don't even know what
39:55
the hell they are. Yeah, and they're.
39:57
Struggling arrangements, parties, oh God knows what.
40:03
I don't know. I don't know what what it could
40:05
be, but we have probably have never even heard.
40:08
So I feel like in today's society, they also don't know
40:13
where to turn and they could be looking at spirituality like
40:16
people did when I was in my 20s, like fucking idiots.
40:20
But let me just tell you this right over the course of my
40:23
years, 45 now 20 odds, when I decided that I I wanted a bit of
40:30
peace in my life and I desperately seeked it.
40:33
I have seen people what they would consider no hopers, OK,
40:40
people that just felt their life was worthless.
40:44
They couldn't get out of whatever the predicament they
40:47
were in. And I have seen spirituality
40:52
walk for them. And when you see that, OK, like
40:56
I'm even getting goosebumps. When you see somebody recover
41:01
and heal, it is the most powerful, inspirational thing
41:10
you will ever see in your whole entire life.
41:13
And then you say, I don't know how it works.
41:17
I don't care how it works, but I have seen the proof that it
41:22
works. And I think that's the key
41:24
message out there for anybody that might be going through
41:28
anything. It is inner healing work.
41:32
There is a way out. There is hope even in despair,
41:39
and whatever that looks like for you, whether it's meetings,
41:44
whether it's Reiki, prana, Keelan, whatever it is.
41:49
One thing, the spirituality thing, yeah, it's needed for
41:55
everybody, right? Once you find spirituality then
42:01
the absolute monisha to keep you in that spiritual place is you
42:06
need to believe in your own self worth.
42:09
And practicing. And practicing believe you are
42:12
worthy. So we have had some amazing
42:16
feedback, lots of comments because we have asked for your
42:20
interaction. So we are going to talk about
42:23
some of the comments that you left from episode 3.
42:27
Episode 3 is where we talked about power dynamics in
42:31
relationship, how society has changed.
42:34
Are women more instinctively wanting to be at home?
42:39
Is it an instinct of a man to be a provider or is it just each to
42:47
their own? So here's some of the feedback
42:49
that we have got and it's really good.
42:51
OK first up we have men do things and don't expect
42:55
gratitude and don't need to share what they do with the
43:00
world suffering in silence daily.
43:02
Is that a man who wrote that? Yes.
43:05
OK. Can I just say?
43:06
I don't think that's necessarily.
43:08
I don't necessarily agree with that completely.
43:10
So I do believe Terry made a valid point the last time about
43:13
men. They don't talk about their
43:15
feelings, and I do get that. But I do feel that men
43:18
definitely need more like prayers when they do something.
43:24
More. Yeah, that's true.
43:25
Yeah. More gratitude.
43:26
Yeah, definitely. Like you're amazing.
43:30
More and rooms. Terry's.
43:33
Terry's. Terry's Terry is more rant
43:36
rooms. Men definitely need more praise.
43:38
I do think so. You need to be told you are
43:40
wonderful and like you're doing amazing because you.
43:44
The way you said that day, the way you done that day.
43:46
Now come on. Yeah, because I just want to go
43:48
baby. Just done a normal thing like
43:49
come on. How do you know it was normal?
43:53
Bringing the bins out of a Friday is normal.
43:54
I'd never said anything about the bins.
43:56
Yeah, but you like when I praise you about the bins?
43:58
We got a dog. Yeah, I was the best dog in the
44:01
world. I everyone's going to look after
44:04
who walks it. Terry does.
44:05
Yeah, anyway, get on with your thing, right I'm.
44:08
Going to. Pray Next.
44:12
Next. Yeah, this is from A Lady in
44:16
Stitches. Laughy face.
44:18
Here's a question for you, Terry Kavanagh, who's the boss in the
44:23
marriage. Laughy faces.
44:26
And I'm going to tell you with a dead serious face, she is.
44:34
And that is the case, I would say, in most marriages and.
44:40
She she left them till they're the boss.
44:43
Don't. You is it wrong and really bad
44:47
for me to say I think women are way more emotionally stronger
44:50
than men. Yeah, yeah.
44:51
Listen, I'll keep saying this. The women are the glue in the in
44:55
the whole thing. OK, next, next feedback.
44:58
Yeah, see, she let me go quick there because she got a comment,
45:01
a compliment and right here we go.
45:04
This is AI. Don't know if it's man or woman.
45:09
Men fall in love to have sex, and women have sex to fall in
45:16
love. I agree.
45:18
I kind of do agree with that too.
45:20
So read it to me again. Men fall in love to have sex,
45:25
and women have sex to fall in love.
45:27
True, I agree. OK, would you like me to read to
45:30
you for our tour time? No.
45:31
I just had to take a moment to digest you.
45:33
Know, I think digested it pretty good in the first time.
45:37
Anyway, moving swiftly along. I agree with that one too.
45:39
Thanks. And this one here is for as
45:43
somebody who has a very strange looking emoji profile picture
45:48
which I am not only accustomed to, it's a matter of economics.
45:53
Sometimes you need to wait wages.
45:56
I want to stop you right there. You need to wages regardless
45:59
now. The pressure of everything now
46:03
is just too big. That one wage does not cut it
46:08
anymore in any way shape or form unless you are an extremely
46:13
wealthy person with an extremely well paid job.
46:20
Yeah, it's tough out there for everybody.
46:22
It is 100%. But I also encourage, I do not
46:26
encourage, listen, do what you want, free will and all that.
46:30
Yeah, but I do believe if there is a one wage home and the man
46:34
is there all the time, I still believe that the stay at home
46:37
person, whether it be the man or the woman, needs to have their
46:40
own interest or something to give them that little bit of
46:44
fire and purpose. Because the key to life for me
46:48
is purpose. No purpose, no life.
46:53
And moving on to the next comment, some women, this is
46:56
from a woman by the way. Some women have the instinct to
46:59
be homemakers and some women have the instinct to be in the
47:02
workplace and be home makers. So men's instinct is to be
47:08
providers. Other men's instinct is to walk
47:11
away and abandoned. And that's where I would say a
47:17
woman's instinct maybe to provide is because sometimes
47:21
they have absolutely no choice. And in society, or what I've
47:25
witnessed is, is a lot of the times the women are left to bear
47:29
that load. So even if they really wanted to
47:32
stay at home, like, and they, you know, they really wanted
47:36
that besides, let's say today's economy, they have been left
47:41
with no choice but to go out and walk.
47:44
That can I, can I say something as well on the latter part of
47:47
that particular comment, right, whatever that kind of thing
47:55
there, that's more your interest, right?
47:57
That that part of the comment doesn't really interest me that
48:00
much. I'm more at the end right where
48:03
listen, if you want to be a homemaker, be a homemaker.
48:06
If you want to go to work, go to work, free will, whatever makes
48:10
you happy, right? As long as it's logistically
48:12
possible and doable, do it right.
48:15
And I do believe that man's in this comment here.
48:20
Part of a man's instinct to walk away and abandoned is now
48:29
dwindling. So you.
48:32
Think less, not as it's not as much as it used to be.
48:35
Well, and I say the opposite, I mean you were probably one of
48:37
the first of the generation of parents may be splitting up
48:41
where now it's way more common and way more.
48:45
People I just like. Maybe it's the people I'm
48:48
talking to. I just don't know.
48:51
The men that I talk to don't wouldn't have it in them to walk
48:54
away. That's great.
48:55
You're not supposed to have it in you to walk.
48:57
Away the people I'm surrounded by anyway, I can tell you that.
49:00
Well, they're good. They're.
49:01
Great. Genuinely, genuinely.
49:04
Hand on my heart, myself included.
49:08
Would it would actually kill me to do that.
49:10
I would feel like it's complete and not a failure.
49:15
Anyway, we won't dwell on that one.
49:17
That's my take on that. That's your take on that?
49:19
Yeah. Yeah.
49:21
Next up, it's a woman. My man.
49:25
Never. My mom never told my dad the
49:28
price of anything. Just.
49:29
This is funny, actually. And there she would lie about
49:32
the cost of things, Right. I'm sure there's plenty of
49:36
identification out there from the our older listeners and when
49:41
she died and the younger listeners.
49:42
Yes. Yeah.
49:43
I'm looking at one of them, actually.
49:44
Yeah. And when she died, he thought
49:47
the price of everything had gone up.
49:49
My mom's only wish was before she died that she that my dad
49:53
didn't sell her handbags for the price she told him she paid for
49:56
them. That is so cute.
49:59
OK, I have a confession to make. Go on, give me another, give me,
50:04
send me blood pressure through the roof for the fifth time
50:06
today. So the decoration, the wallpaper
50:11
person was €900 more than I actually thought it was because
50:16
I didn't read the message right. So I had to pay €900 more than I
50:21
thought all. Right, next comment.
50:25
So I kept that off your loud this week because you were very
50:28
stressed out. Next comment here and which is
50:30
half of and which is half a €900.
50:32
Next comment. How much is half a €900?
50:35
Yeah, birthday present. Not me, birthday present.
50:37
You owe me. Next comment, I know.
50:40
Yeah, that's no problem. Next comment is from.
50:44
I'm taking as a man. Possibly money can be evil at
50:49
times because everybody would be rallying around when has money
50:54
and when. When you don't.
50:56
Don't have money? Oh, hold on, let me read that
50:59
again, will you? Money can be.
51:01
I'm still thinking about £900. That's what's wrong.
51:07
I've got to have to listen to this.
51:08
Should I even told him now? How do you need that session
51:10
with Catherine tomorrow? Honestly, This is why we don't
51:14
tell, because they don't value. Forcing tomorrow and I'll be
51:18
waiting. That's all for you when you come
51:19
in. They don't appreciate the price
51:21
of things. OK, so hold on, Money can be
51:23
evil at times because everyone would be rallying around when
51:27
the money is there, but when you don't have the money, no one is
51:30
around. Yeah, that's very true.
51:33
I think you get to see. Your true friends?
51:36
Yeah, when there's no money around.
51:38
Well, when there's nothing to gain from it, whether it's money
51:42
or interaction of some sort, when you're on your absolute
51:46
knees is when you see your true people.
51:50
Unconditional, you know, doing stuff unconditionally, Yeah, is
51:54
very, very, very rare these days, I find.
51:59
Yeah, in the in the society we live in, because everyone wants
52:02
to be somewhere they want to get to, somewhere they want to be,
52:07
something they want to be up on a pedestal.
52:10
They want everybody looking at them.
52:12
Nobody just wants to be. I just want to be.
52:16
I'm guilty of it myself. Can I just be?
52:18
I'm just looking down. I'm a singer and I stand up on a
52:21
stage and I get to do this. Like I'm going to retreat at the
52:24
time just to be. Half the audience probably
52:26
thinks he's shit, but they're still looking, you know what I
52:29
mean? Like.
52:30
It's just ego. It's yeah, it's ego, I suppose.
52:34
It's just a. Guys, keep the comments coming.
52:37
It's great feedback. We absolutely are loving your
52:41
comments and your feedback. And I'm never, ever going to
52:45
tell Terry the price of the painter again.
52:48
Please don't, I don't want to know.