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5. Developing Compassion for Yourself · Burning Brightly

• 0:30
  Welcome
• 0:30
  back
• 0:30
  friends.
• 0:31
  This
• 0:31
  is
• 0:31
  episode
• 0:32
  five
• 0:32
  of
• 0:32
  burning
• 0:32
  brightly.
• 0:33
  I
• 0:33
  can't
• 0:33
  believe
• 0:33
  we're
• 0:33
  on
• 0:33
  five
• 0:34
  already.
• 0:34
  And
• 0:35
  thanks
• 0:35
  so
• 0:35
  much
• 0:35
  for
• 0:35
  being
• 0:35
  here
• 0:36
  just
• 0:36
  like
• 0:37
  last
• 0:37
  week
• 0:38
  today,
• 0:38
  we're
• 0:38
  going
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  do
• 0:38
  a
• 0:38
  little
• 0:38
  life
• 0:39
  coaching
• 0:39
  exercise.
• 0:40
  Okay.
• 0:40
  And
• 0:40
  we're
• 0:40
  going
• 0:41
  to
• 0:41
  look
• 0:41
  at
• 0:41
  ourselves
• 0:41
  again
• 0:42
  from
• 0:42
  the
• 0:42
  outside,
• 0:44
  which
• 0:44
  can
• 0:44
  be
• 0:44
  a
• 0:44
  little
• 0:44
  bit
• 0:44
  unfamiliar
• 0:45
  if
• 0:45
  you're
• 0:45
  not
• 0:46
  used
• 0:46
  to
• 0:46
  this
• 0:46
  sort
• 0:46
  of
• 0:46
  thing,
• 0:46
  but
• 0:47
  I'm
• 0:47
  going
• 0:47
  to
• 0:47
  walk
• 0:47
  you
• 0:47
  through
• 0:47
  it.
• 0:47
  Okay.
• 0:48
  What
• 0:48
  we're
• 0:49
  going
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  do
• 0:49
  today
• 0:49
  is
• 0:49
  we're
• 0:49
  going
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  develop
• 0:50
  or
• 0:51
  learn
• 0:51
  how
• 0:51
  to
• 0:51
  develop.
• 0:52
  The
• 0:52
  role
• 0:53
  of
• 0:53
  compassionate
• 0:54
  observer.
• 0:55
  So
• 0:56
  I
• 0:56
  want
• 0:56
  you
• 0:56
  to
• 0:56
  think
• 0:56
  for
• 0:56
  a
• 0:56
  second,
• 0:57
  that
• 0:57
  you
• 0:58
  are
• 0:58
  walking
• 0:58
  along
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  sidewalk
• 0:59
  and
• 0:59
  you
• 0:59
  see
• 1:00
  something.
• 1:01
  Tragic
• 1:01
  happen,
• 1:02
  a
• 1:02
  car
• 1:02
  accident
• 1:03
  or,
• 1:03
  um,
• 1:03
  someone.
• 1:05
  Has
• 1:05
  an
• 1:06
  injury
• 1:06
  or
• 1:06
  something,
• 1:07
  and
• 1:07
  there's
• 1:07
  nothing
• 1:07
  you
• 1:07
  can
• 1:08
  do.
• 1:08
  All
• 1:08
  you
• 1:08
  can
• 1:08
  do
• 1:09
  is
• 1:09
  sit
• 1:09
  there
• 1:09
  and
• 1:10
  become
• 1:10
  a
• 1:10
  compassionate
• 1:11
  observer.
• 1:12
  What
• 1:12
  would
• 1:12
  that
• 1:13
  look
• 1:13
  like?
• 1:14
  It
• 1:14
  would
• 1:14
  probably
• 1:14
  look
• 1:15
  like.
• 1:16
  Thinking
• 1:16
  thoughts
• 1:17
  along
• 1:17
  the
• 1:17
  lines
• 1:18
  of,
• 1:18
  oh
• 1:18
  my
• 1:18
  gosh.
• 1:18
  I
• 1:19
  hope
• 1:19
  they're
• 1:19
  not
• 1:19
  hurt.
• 1:20
  Wow.
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  can't
• 1:21
  imagine
• 1:21
  that
• 1:22
  would
• 1:22
  be
• 1:22
  awful
• 1:23
  and
• 1:23
  just
• 1:23
  kind
• 1:23
  of
• 1:24
  holding
• 1:24
  space
• 1:25
  for
• 1:25
  the
• 1:25
  person
• 1:26
  that
• 1:26
  is
• 1:26
  struggling.
• 1:26
  Okay.
• 1:27
  This
• 1:27
  is
• 1:27
  what
• 1:27
  we're
• 1:27
  going
• 1:28
  to
• 1:28
  learn
• 1:28
  to
• 1:28
  do
• 1:29
  for
• 1:29
  ourselves.
• 1:30
  Doesn't
• 1:30
  that
• 1:30
  sound
• 1:30
  fun?
• 1:31
  It
• 1:31
  is,
• 1:32
  it's
• 1:32
  one
• 1:32
  of
• 1:32
  my
• 1:32
  favorite
• 1:33
  parts.
• 1:34
  Of
• 1:34
  understanding
• 1:35
  myself
• 1:35
  a
• 1:35
  little
• 1:36
  bit
• 1:36
  better
• 1:36
  is
• 1:36
  to
• 1:36
  become
• 1:36
  this
• 1:36
  compassionate
• 1:37
  observer
• 1:37
  to
• 1:38
  myself.
• 1:38
  Okay.
• 1:39
  So
• 1:39
  first
• 1:40
  let's
• 1:41
  define
• 1:42
  compassion.
• 1:43
  Okay.
• 1:44
  That's
• 1:44
  a
• 1:44
  big
• 1:44
  word
• 1:45
  and
• 1:45
  kind
• 1:45
  of
• 1:45
  a
• 1:45
  heavy
• 1:45
  one,
• 1:46
  but
• 1:46
  the
• 1:46
  dictionary
• 1:47
  tells
• 1:47
  me
• 1:47
  that
• 1:48
  someone
• 1:48
  who
• 1:48
  is
• 1:48
  compassionate
• 1:49
  is
• 1:49
  someone
• 1:49
  who
• 1:49
  has
• 1:49
  deep
• 1:50
  sympathy
• 1:50
  and
• 1:51
  sorrow.
• 1:52
  For
• 1:52
  another,
• 1:52
  who
• 1:52
  is
• 1:53
  stricken
• 1:53
  by
• 1:53
  misfortune.
• 1:55
  Often
• 1:55
  accompanied
• 1:55
  by
• 1:56
  a
• 1:56
  strong
• 1:56
  desire
• 1:57
  to
• 1:57
  alleviate
• 1:58
  the
• 1:58
  suffering.
• 1:58
  That
• 1:59
  sounds
• 1:59
  pretty
• 1:59
  good.
• 1:59
  Right.
• 2:00
  Again,
• 2:00
  back
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  the
• 2:00
  example
• 2:01
  of
• 2:01
  the
• 2:01
  car
• 2:01
  accident,
• 2:01
  you're
• 2:01
  watching
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  have
• 2:02
  sympathy
• 2:03
  of
• 2:03
  sorrow
• 2:04
  for
• 2:04
  the
• 2:04
  people
• 2:04
  involved.
• 2:05
  You
• 2:06
  very
• 2:06
  often
• 2:06
  have
• 2:06
  empathy,
• 2:07
  you
• 2:07
  put
• 2:07
  yourself
• 2:07
  in
• 2:07
  their
• 2:07
  place.
• 2:08
  Like,
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  can't
• 2:08
  imagine
• 2:08
  what
• 2:09
  that
• 2:09
  would
• 2:09
  be
• 2:09
  like.
• 2:10
  And
• 2:10
  then
• 2:10
  very
• 2:10
  often
• 2:11
  accompanied
• 2:11
  by
• 2:11
  a
• 2:11
  desire
• 2:12
  to
• 2:12
  help,
• 2:13
  right?
• 2:13
  there's
• 2:14
  a
• 2:14
  call
• 2:14
  to
• 2:14
  nine
• 2:14
  one
• 2:15
  one,
• 2:15
  or,
• 2:15
  uh,
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  know,
• 2:16
  if
• 2:16
  there's
• 2:16
  any
• 2:16
  way
• 2:16
  you
• 2:16
  can
• 2:17
  help,
• 2:17
  you
• 2:17
  want
• 2:17
  to
• 2:17
  do
• 2:17
  that.
• 2:18
  Okay.
• 2:18
  But
• 2:18
  we're
• 2:18
  going
• 2:19
  to
• 2:19
  do
• 2:19
  this
• 2:19
  for
• 2:20
  ourselves
• 2:21
  and
• 2:21
  not
• 2:21
  just
• 2:21
  when
• 2:22
  there's
• 2:22
  big,
• 2:22
  scary
• 2:22
  accidents
• 2:23
  in
• 2:23
  our
• 2:23
  life,
• 2:23
  but
• 2:24
  with
• 2:24
  teeny
• 2:24
  tiny
• 2:25
  mistakes
• 2:25
  and
• 2:25
  misfortunes.
• 2:26
  And
• 2:26
  failures
• 2:27
  that
• 2:27
  are
• 2:27
  going
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  come
• 2:28
  to
• 2:28
  us
• 2:29
  as
• 2:29
  we
• 2:29
  embark
• 2:29
  on
• 2:30
  this
• 2:30
  phase
• 2:30
  of
• 2:30
  building
• 2:30
  something
• 2:31
  for
• 2:31
  ourselves.
• 2:32
  Now
• 2:32
  let's
• 2:33
  first
• 2:33
  off,
• 2:33
  acknowledge
• 2:34
  that
• 2:34
  compassion
• 2:35
  does
• 2:35
  not
• 2:35
  come
• 2:36
  easily.
• 2:37
  ourselves.
• 2:38
  Okay.
• 2:38
  We
• 2:39
  don't
• 2:39
  often
• 2:39
  allow
• 2:39
  ourselves
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  feel
• 2:40
  compassion
• 2:40
  for
• 2:40
  ourselves.
• 2:41
  Instead,
• 2:42
  what
• 2:42
  I've
• 2:42
  noticed
• 2:42
  is
• 2:43
  that
• 2:43
  we
• 2:43
  often
• 2:43
  come
• 2:44
  up
• 2:44
  with.
• 2:45
  Three
• 2:46
  other
• 2:46
  main
• 2:47
  emotions.
• 2:48
  They
• 2:48
  tend
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  be
• 2:49
  guilt,
• 2:49
  right?
• 2:50
  think,
• 2:50
  oh
• 2:50
  my
• 2:50
  gosh,
• 2:50
  this
• 2:51
  is
• 2:51
  my
• 2:51
  fault.
• 2:51
  Let's
• 2:51
  take
• 2:52
  the
• 2:52
  car
• 2:52
  accident
• 2:52
  example.
• 2:53
  Oh
• 2:53
  my
• 2:53
  gosh.
• 2:53
  If
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  had
• 2:54
  seen
• 2:54
  that
• 2:54
  car,
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  shouldn't
• 2:55
  have
• 2:56
  been
• 2:56
  speeding,
• 2:56
  whatever.
• 2:57
  It's
• 2:57
  my
• 2:57
  fault.
• 2:58
  There's
• 2:58
  some
• 2:58
  guilt
• 2:58
  there.
• 2:59
  Another
• 2:59
  emotion
• 2:59
  is
• 3:00
  blame
• 3:00
  often
• 3:01
  comes
• 3:01
  up.
• 3:01
  Oh,
• 3:01
  it's
• 3:01
  his
• 3:02
  fault.
• 3:02
  How
• 3:03
  could
• 3:03
  he
• 3:03
  have
• 3:03
  read
• 3:03
  that?
• 3:03
  Run
• 3:03
  that
• 3:04
  red
• 3:04
  light.
• 3:04
  Did
• 3:04
  he
• 3:04
  not
• 3:04
  see
• 3:05
  me?
• 3:05
  Right.
• 3:05
  We
• 3:06
  someone
• 3:06
  else
• 3:06
  for
• 3:06
  the
• 3:06
  tragedy.
• 3:07
  Or
• 3:08
  self-pity
• 3:09
  woe
• 3:09
  is
• 3:10
  me.
• 3:10
  Oh
• 3:10
  my
• 3:10
  gosh.
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  don't
• 3:11
  know
• 3:11
  if
• 3:11
  my
• 3:11
  insurance
• 3:12
  is
• 3:12
  going
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  cover
• 3:12
  this.
• 3:13
  It's
• 3:13
  going
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  cost
• 3:14
  so
• 3:14
  much
• 3:14
  money
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  now
• 3:15
  I'm
• 3:15
  hurt.
• 3:15
  I'm
• 3:15
  gonna
• 3:15
  have
• 3:15
  to
• 3:15
  go
• 3:15
  to
• 3:15
  the
• 3:16
  hospital.
• 3:16
  Right?
• 3:16
  So
• 3:17
  some
• 3:17
  combination
• 3:17
  of
• 3:18
  those
• 3:18
  three
• 3:18
  emotions,
• 3:18
  guilt,
• 3:19
  blame,
• 3:19
  and
• 3:19
  self-pity
• 3:20
  are
• 3:20
  usually
• 3:21
  what
• 3:21
  come
• 3:21
  up
• 3:22
  when
• 3:22
  we
• 3:23
  experienced
• 3:23
  something.
• 3:25
  Unfortunate
• 3:25
  or
• 3:25
  something
• 3:26
  that
• 3:26
  we
• 3:26
  don't
• 3:27
  love
• 3:27
  in
• 3:27
  our
• 3:27
  life.
• 3:28
  It's
• 3:28
  not
• 3:29
  usually
• 3:29
  compassion.
• 3:31
  And
• 3:31
  frankly,
• 3:32
  when
• 3:32
  you
• 3:32
  think
• 3:32
  about
• 3:32
  it,
• 3:33
  those
• 3:33
  three
• 3:33
  emotions,
• 3:33
  guilt,
• 3:34
  blame,
• 3:34
  and
• 3:34
  self-pity
• 3:35
  feel
• 3:36
  terrible.
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  don't
• 3:37
  like
• 3:37
  feeling
• 3:38
  any
• 3:38
  of
• 3:38
  those
• 3:38
  emotions.
• 3:39
  What
• 3:39
  they
• 3:40
  do
• 3:40
  is
• 3:40
  they
• 3:40
  keep
• 3:40
  us
• 3:40
  focused
• 3:41
  on
• 3:41
  what
• 3:41
  has
• 3:41
  gone
• 3:42
  wrong.
• 3:43
  In
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  past.
• 3:44
  And
• 3:44
  they
• 3:44
  keep
• 3:44
  us
• 3:44
  stuck
• 3:45
  there.
• 3:45
  Right.
• 3:46
  wallowing
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  ruminating
• 3:47
  on
• 3:47
  it.
• 3:47
  Like,
• 3:48
  oh,
• 3:48
  if
• 3:48
  only
• 3:49
  if
• 3:49
  only.
• 3:50
  Poor
• 3:50
  me,
• 3:51
  what
• 3:51
  was
• 3:51
  me?
• 3:51
  That
• 3:52
  is
• 3:52
  not
• 3:52
  where
• 3:52
  we
• 3:52
  want
• 3:53
  to
• 3:53
  stay.
• 3:54
  Now,
• 3:54
  if
• 3:54
  you're
• 3:54
  going
• 3:54
  to
• 3:54
  be
• 3:54
  starting
• 3:55
  a
• 3:55
  new
• 3:55
  project,
• 3:56
  building
• 3:56
  this
• 3:56
  business,
• 3:57
  developing
• 3:58
  a
• 3:58
  hobby,
• 3:59
  putting
• 3:59
  yourself
• 3:59
  out
• 3:59
  into
• 4:00
  the
• 4:00
  world.
• 4:00
  You
• 4:01
  must
• 4:02
  develop
• 4:02
  compassion
• 4:03
  for
• 4:03
  yourself.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  bonuses.
• 4:06
  Developing
• 4:06
  compassion
• 4:06
  for
• 4:06
  yourself
• 4:07
  will
• 4:07
  actually
• 4:07
  benefit
• 4:08
  all
• 4:08
  areas
• 4:09
  of
• 4:09
  your
• 4:09
  life.
• 4:10
  So
• 4:10
  the
• 4:10
  next
• 4:10
  question
• 4:11
  is
• 4:11
  why
• 4:11
  is
• 4:11
  compassion
• 4:12
  so
• 4:12
  much
• 4:12
  better?
• 4:13
  Than
• 4:13
  those
• 4:13
  other
• 4:14
  emotions
• 4:14
  then
• 4:14
  guilt
• 4:15
  than
• 4:15
  blame
• 4:15
  that
• 4:15
  self
• 4:16
  pity.
• 4:16
  For
• 4:17
  three
• 4:17
  reasons.
• 4:17
  Okay.
• 4:18
  You
• 4:18
  ready?
• 4:18
  Number
• 4:19
  one
• 4:19
  compassion
• 4:20
  communicates.
• 4:22
  Love.
• 4:23
  I've
• 4:23
  never
• 4:24
  been
• 4:24
  able
• 4:24
  to
• 4:24
  feel
• 4:25
  compassion
• 4:25
  towards
• 4:25
  someone
• 4:26
  that
• 4:26
  I
• 4:26
  do
• 4:26
  not
• 4:26
  love,
• 4:27
  which
• 4:27
  just
• 4:28
  goes
• 4:28
  to
• 4:28
  show.
• 4:28
  We
• 4:28
  should
• 4:28
  probably
• 4:28
  love
• 4:28
  everyone
• 4:29
  so
• 4:29
  that
• 4:29
  we're
• 4:29
  able
• 4:29
  to
• 4:29
  feel
• 4:30
  compassion
• 4:30
  towards
• 4:30
  all
• 4:30
  of
• 4:30
  them.
• 4:30
  Right.
• 4:32
  If
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  can
• 4:33
  learn
• 4:33
  to
• 4:33
  feel
• 4:34
  compassion
• 4:34
  for
• 4:34
  yourself.
• 4:36
  There
• 4:36
  is
• 4:36
  literally
• 4:36
  no
• 4:37
  one
• 4:37
  on
• 4:37
  the
• 4:37
  earth.
• 4:37
  You
• 4:37
  will
• 4:37
  not
• 4:38
  be
• 4:38
  able
• 4:38
  to
• 4:38
  feel
• 4:38
  compassion
• 4:38
  towards.
• 4:39
  Why
• 4:40
  is
• 4:40
  this.
• 4:41
  Oh,
• 4:41
  because
• 4:42
  we
• 4:42
  know
• 4:42
  ourselves
• 4:42
  best.
• 4:43
  We
• 4:43
  know
• 4:44
  all
• 4:44
  our
• 4:44
  imperfections
• 4:45
  and
• 4:45
  our
• 4:45
  shortcomings.
• 4:46
  We
• 4:47
  know
• 4:47
  those
• 4:47
  thoughts
• 4:47
  that
• 4:48
  blip
• 4:48
  into
• 4:48
  our
• 4:48
  mind
• 4:49
  that
• 4:49
  we
• 4:49
  would
• 4:49
  never
• 4:49
  share
• 4:49
  with
• 4:49
  anyone
• 4:50
  else.
• 4:50
  We
• 4:51
  know
• 4:51
  those
• 4:51
  weird
• 4:52
  quirks.
• 4:52
  We
• 4:52
  know
• 4:52
  our
• 4:53
  mistakes.
• 4:53
  We
• 4:53
  know
• 4:54
  our
• 4:54
  past.
• 4:55
  We
• 4:55
  know
• 4:56
  everything
• 4:56
  about
• 4:56
  ourselves
• 4:56
  and
• 4:57
  so
• 4:57
  loving
• 4:58
  and
• 4:58
  accepting
• 4:58
  ourselves
• 4:59
  the
• 4:59
  way
• 4:59
  we
• 4:59
  are
• 4:59
  right
• 5:00
  now.
• 5:01
  Is
• 5:01
  our
• 5:01
  first
• 5:02
  and
• 5:02
  very
• 5:02
  often
• 5:03
  our
• 5:03
  biggest,
• 5:04
  hardest
• 5:04
  job.
• 5:06
  As
• 5:06
  Christian
• 5:06
  women,
• 5:07
  we
• 5:07
  sometimes
• 5:07
  skip
• 5:08
  over
• 5:08
  this
• 5:08
  step
• 5:09
  because
• 5:09
  we
• 5:09
  don't
• 5:09
  like
• 5:09
  to
• 5:10
  think
• 5:10
  about
• 5:10
  ourselves
• 5:10
  much
• 5:10
  at
• 5:10
  all.
• 5:11
  Right.
• 5:11
  told
• 5:11
  to
• 5:11
  be
• 5:11
  selfless
• 5:12
  and
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  serve
• 5:13
  and
• 5:13
  to
• 5:13
  always
• 5:13
  be
• 5:14
  thinking
• 5:14
  about
• 5:14
  other
• 5:14
  people.
• 5:16
  But
• 5:16
  if
• 5:16
  we
• 5:16
  are
• 5:16
  commanded
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  love
• 5:18
  others,
• 5:18
  as
• 5:18
  we
• 5:18
  love
• 5:19
  ourself,
• 5:20
  wouldn't
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  mean
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  loving
• 5:21
  herself
• 5:21
  is
• 5:21
  our
• 5:21
  first
• 5:22
  job.
• 5:23
  Because
• 5:23
  if
• 5:23
  you
• 5:23
  don't
• 5:23
  love
• 5:24
  yourself,
• 5:24
  It
• 5:24
  becomes
• 5:25
  a
• 5:25
  little
• 5:25
  bit
• 5:25
  difficult
• 5:26
  to
• 5:26
  know
• 5:26
  how
• 5:26
  to
• 5:26
  love
• 5:26
  another
• 5:27
  like
• 5:27
  yourself.
• 5:28
  Does
• 5:28
  that
• 5:28
  make
• 5:28
  sense?
• 5:29
  If
• 5:29
  we
• 5:29
  want
• 5:29
  to
• 5:29
  love
• 5:30
  others
• 5:30
  like
• 5:30
  ourselves,
• 5:31
  we
• 5:31
  have
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  learn
• 5:31
  how
• 5:31
  to
• 5:32
  love
• 5:32
  ourselves
• 5:32
  first.
• 5:34
  Now
• 5:34
  imagine
• 5:34
  for
• 5:35
  a
• 5:35
  second,
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  you
• 5:35
  are
• 5:35
  going
• 5:36
  forward
• 5:36
  on
• 5:36
  this
• 5:36
  path
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  creating
• 5:37
  a
• 5:37
  business.
• 5:38
  And
• 5:39
  you
• 5:40
  know
• 5:40
  that
• 5:40
  it's
• 5:40
  going
• 5:40
  to
• 5:41
  be
• 5:41
  full
• 5:41
  of
• 5:41
  mistakes
• 5:42
  and
• 5:42
  stumbles
• 5:42
  and
• 5:42
  failures.
• 5:44
  But
• 5:44
  what
• 5:44
  if
• 5:44
  you
• 5:44
  knew
• 5:45
  that
• 5:45
  all
• 5:45
  of
• 5:45
  those
• 5:45
  mistakes
• 5:46
  and
• 5:46
  failures
• 5:46
  would
• 5:47
  be
• 5:47
  met
• 5:47
  with
• 5:47
  pure
• 5:48
  love?
• 5:49
  Can
• 5:49
  you
• 5:49
  imagine
• 5:50
  for
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  second,
• 5:50
  having
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  boss
• 5:51
  like
• 5:51
  that,
• 5:51
  that
• 5:51
  when
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  showed
• 5:52
  up
• 5:53
  late
• 5:53
  to
• 5:53
  a
• 5:53
  deadline
• 5:54
  or
• 5:54
  you
• 5:55
  messed
• 5:55
  up
• 5:55
  a
• 5:56
  report,
• 5:56
  Or
• 5:57
  you
• 5:57
  just
• 5:58
  totally
• 5:58
  dropped
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  ball
• 5:58
  on
• 5:59
  something
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  you
• 5:59
  would
• 5:59
  just
• 6:00
  be
• 6:00
  met
• 6:00
  with
• 6:00
  love
• 6:00
  and
• 6:00
  acceptance
• 6:01
  and
• 6:01
  compassion.
• 6:02
  How
• 6:02
  it
• 6:03
  would
• 6:03
  be
• 6:03
  incredible.
• 6:04
  But
• 6:04
  guess
• 6:04
  what?
• 6:04
  You
• 6:05
  can
• 6:05
  be
• 6:05
  that
• 6:05
  boss
• 6:05
  for
• 6:06
  yourself,
• 6:06
  what
• 6:07
  let's
• 6:07
  do
• 6:08
  that,
• 6:08
  right.
• 6:08
  Let's
• 6:08
  become
• 6:09
  that
• 6:09
  perfect
• 6:09
  boss
• 6:10
  that
• 6:10
  just.
• 6:11
  Exudes
• 6:12
  compassion
• 6:13
  and
• 6:13
  love
• 6:13
  towards
• 6:13
  ourselves.
• 6:14
  No
• 6:14
  matter
• 6:14
  what
• 6:15
  goes
• 6:15
  wrong.
• 6:17
  Okay.
• 6:17
  The
• 6:18
  second
• 6:18
  reason
• 6:18
  that
• 6:18
  compassion
• 6:19
  feels
• 6:19
  so
• 6:20
  much
• 6:20
  better
• 6:20
  than
• 6:20
  those
• 6:20
  other
• 6:20
  emotions,
• 6:21
  then
• 6:21
  guilt,
• 6:21
  blame.
• 6:21
  Self-pity.
• 6:22
  Is
• 6:23
  that
• 6:23
  compassion
• 6:24
  is
• 6:24
  not
• 6:24
  self-indulgent.
• 6:26
  Now,
• 6:27
  you're
• 6:27
  going
• 6:27
  to
• 6:27
  hear
• 6:27
  about
• 6:27
  indulgent
• 6:28
  emotions,
• 6:28
  a
• 6:28
  lot
• 6:29
  in
• 6:29
  life
• 6:29
  coaching,
• 6:30
  but
• 6:30
  those
• 6:30
  three
• 6:31
  are
• 6:31
  classic
• 6:32
  indulgent
• 6:32
  emotions.
• 6:33
  They
• 6:33
  are
• 6:33
  the
• 6:33
  emotions
• 6:34
  that
• 6:34
  feel
• 6:34
  good
• 6:35
  in
• 6:35
  the
• 6:35
  moment,
• 6:35
  but
• 6:36
  keep
• 6:36
  us
• 6:36
  stuck
• 6:36
  and
• 6:37
  do
• 6:37
  not
• 6:37
  help
• 6:37
  us
• 6:38
  progress.
• 6:39
  Now
• 6:39
  all
• 6:39
  emotions
• 6:40
  need
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  be
• 6:40
  processed
• 6:41
  when
• 6:41
  they
• 6:41
  come
• 6:41
  up
• 6:41
  for
• 6:41
  us,
• 6:41
  we
• 6:42
  need
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  feel
• 6:42
  them.
• 6:43
  And
• 6:43
  then
• 6:43
  move
• 6:43
  on,
• 6:44
  but
• 6:44
  those
• 6:44
  Very
• 6:45
  often
• 6:45
  I
• 6:45
  find
• 6:45
  myself
• 6:45
  just
• 6:46
  circling
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  drain
• 6:46
  with
• 6:47
  those
• 6:47
  right.
• 6:47
  blame,
• 6:47
  blame,
• 6:48
  blame,
• 6:48
  blame,
• 6:48
  guilt,
• 6:48
  guilt,
• 6:49
  guilt,
• 6:49
  self
• 6:50
  pity,
• 6:50
  all
• 6:50
  day
• 6:50
  long.
• 6:51
  It's
• 6:52
  very
• 6:52
  difficult
• 6:52
  to
• 6:52
  move
• 6:53
  through
• 6:53
  these.
• 6:53
  If
• 6:53
  we
• 6:54
  allow
• 6:54
  them
• 6:54
  to
• 6:54
  sit
• 6:55
  and
• 6:55
  just
• 6:55
  wallow
• 6:56
  in
• 6:56
  them.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  think
• 6:59
  that
• 6:59
  the
• 6:59
  main
• 6:59
  reason
• 7:00
  for
• 7:00
  this
• 7:00
  is
• 7:00
  because
• 7:01
  of
• 7:01
  our
• 7:01
  self
• 7:02
  preservation
• 7:02
  side
• 7:02
  of
• 7:02
  things.
• 7:03
  Right.
• 7:03
  Remember
• 7:03
  episode
• 7:03
  three,
• 7:04
  where
• 7:04
  we
• 7:04
  talked
• 7:04
  about
• 7:04
  our
• 7:04
  brain
• 7:05
  sabotaging
• 7:05
  us,
• 7:05
  because
• 7:05
  it's
• 7:06
  just
• 7:06
  easier
• 7:06
  to
• 7:07
  not
• 7:07
  do
• 7:07
  the
• 7:07
  hard
• 7:07
  thing.
• 7:08
  It's
• 7:09
  so
• 7:09
  much
• 7:09
  easier
• 7:10
  for
• 7:10
  me
• 7:10
  to
• 7:10
  sit
• 7:10
  around
• 7:11
  feeling
• 7:11
  sorry
• 7:11
  for
• 7:11
  myself.
• 7:12
  That
• 7:12
  my
• 7:13
  last
• 7:14
  course
• 7:14
  launch
• 7:14
  didn't
• 7:15
  go
• 7:15
  well,
• 7:15
  didn't
• 7:15
  make
• 7:16
  any
• 7:16
  money
• 7:16
  than
• 7:17
  it
• 7:17
  is
• 7:17
  to
• 7:17
  just
• 7:17
  move
• 7:18
  through
• 7:18
  that
• 7:18
  failure
• 7:19
  and
• 7:19
  get
• 7:20
  back
• 7:20
  to
• 7:20
  work.
• 7:21
  Instead.
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  just
• 7:21
  want
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  sit
• 7:22
  around
• 7:22
  feeling
• 7:22
  sorry
• 7:22
  for
• 7:22
  myself.
• 7:23
  That's
• 7:23
  so
• 7:23
  much
• 7:23
  more
• 7:23
  fun.
• 7:23
  And
• 7:24
  maybe
• 7:24
  if
• 7:24
  there's
• 7:24
  ice
• 7:24
  cream
• 7:24
  involved
• 7:25
  too.
• 7:25
  It
• 7:25
  gets
• 7:26
  to
• 7:26
  sit
• 7:26
  around
• 7:26
  and
• 7:26
  eat
• 7:26
  ice
• 7:26
  cream
• 7:27
  feels
• 7:27
  sorry
• 7:27
  for
• 7:28
  myself.
• 7:28
  Instead
• 7:29
  of
• 7:29
  just
• 7:29
  looking
• 7:30
  at
• 7:30
  it,
• 7:30
  feeling
• 7:31
  compassion
• 7:31
  for
• 7:31
  myself
• 7:32
  and
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  disappointment
• 7:32
  I
• 7:32
  feel.
• 7:33
  And
• 7:33
  then
• 7:33
  getting
• 7:34
  back
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  work.
• 7:36
  Compassion
• 7:36
  also
• 7:36
  requires
• 7:37
  of
• 7:37
  us
• 7:37
  that
• 7:37
  we
• 7:38
  look
• 7:38
  at
• 7:38
  ourselves
• 7:38
  from
• 7:39
  that
• 7:39
  third
• 7:39
  person
• 7:40
  perspective.
• 7:41
  We
• 7:41
  need
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  look
• 7:41
  at
• 7:41
  ourselves
• 7:42
  lovingly.
• 7:43
  With
• 7:43
  understanding.
• 7:45
  With
• 7:45
  a
• 7:45
  listening
• 7:46
  ear
• 7:46
  and
• 7:46
  without
• 7:47
  judgment,
• 7:48
  we
• 7:48
  need
• 7:48
  to
• 7:48
  be
• 7:48
  that
• 7:48
  best
• 7:49
  friend
• 7:49
  for
• 7:49
  ourselves.
• 7:50
  Put
• 7:50
  an
• 7:50
  arm
• 7:50
  around
• 7:50
  ourselves
• 7:51
  metaphorically.
• 7:51
  Right?
• 7:51
  I
• 7:51
  know
• 7:52
  this
• 7:52
  sounds
• 7:52
  weird
• 7:53
  to
• 7:53
  do
• 7:53
  this
• 7:53
  to
• 7:53
  yourself,
• 7:54
  but
• 7:54
  trust
• 7:55
  me,
• 7:55
  it
• 7:55
  is
• 7:55
  so
• 7:56
  powerful
• 7:56
  to
• 7:56
  show
• 7:57
  up
• 7:57
  for
• 7:57
  yourself
• 7:58
  as
• 7:58
  that
• 7:58
  best
• 7:58
  friend
• 7:59
  that
• 7:59
  you
• 7:59
  wish
• 7:59
  you
• 7:59
  had,
• 7:59
  or
• 7:59
  has
• 8:00
  that
• 8:00
  boss
• 8:00
  that
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  wish
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  had
• 8:01
  and
• 8:01
  say,
• 8:01
  gosh,
• 8:02
  that
• 8:02
  must've
• 8:02
  been
• 8:02
  frustrating.
• 8:03
  I'm
• 8:03
  so
• 8:04
  sorry
• 8:04
  that
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  course
• 8:05
  launched
• 8:05
  didn't
• 8:06
  make
• 8:06
  money
• 8:06
  and
• 8:06
  you
• 8:06
  had
• 8:07
  bigger
• 8:07
  expectations
• 8:08
  for
• 8:08
  it.
• 8:08
  I'm
• 8:08
  so
• 8:09
  sorry
• 8:09
  that
• 8:09
  nobody
• 8:10
  showed
• 8:10
  interest
• 8:11
  in
• 8:11
  this
• 8:11
  program
• 8:11
  that
• 8:12
  you
• 8:12
  put
• 8:12
  out
• 8:12
  or
• 8:12
  this
• 8:13
  product
• 8:13
  that
• 8:13
  you
• 8:13
  poured
• 8:14
  your
• 8:14
  heart
• 8:14
  and
• 8:14
  soul
• 8:14
  into.
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  understand
• 8:16
  now
• 8:17
  let's
• 8:17
  get
• 8:17
  back
• 8:17
  to
• 8:18
  the
• 8:18
  drawing
• 8:18
  board
• 8:18
  and
• 8:18
  figure
• 8:18
  out
• 8:18
  what
• 8:19
  went
• 8:19
  wrong.
• 8:20
  Now
• 8:20
  the
• 8:20
  third
• 8:21
  reason
• 8:21
  why
• 8:21
  compassion
• 8:22
  is
• 8:22
  so
• 8:22
  much
• 8:22
  more
• 8:23
  important
• 8:23
  and
• 8:23
  better.
• 8:24
  Then
• 8:25
  guilt
• 8:25
  blame
• 8:26
  and
• 8:26
  self-pity.
• 8:27
  Is,
• 8:28
  and
• 8:28
  I
• 8:28
  would
• 8:28
  argue
• 8:28
  that
• 8:28
  this
• 8:29
  is
• 8:29
  the
• 8:29
  most
• 8:29
  important
• 8:29
  reason
• 8:30
  is
• 8:30
  that
• 8:30
  compassion
• 8:31
  is
• 8:31
  Christ-like.
• 8:32
  And
• 8:32
  it
• 8:32
  channels
• 8:33
  Christ's
• 8:34
  love.
• 8:35
  Now
• 8:35
  you
• 8:35
  may
• 8:36
  have
• 8:36
  noticed
• 8:36
  that
• 8:36
  the
• 8:36
  word
• 8:37
  compassion
• 8:37
  comes
• 8:37
  up
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  lot
• 8:38
  in
• 8:38
  the
• 8:38
  scriptures,
• 8:39
  especially
• 8:39
  when
• 8:39
  it
• 8:39
  comes
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  Jesus
• 8:40
  Christ.
• 8:41
  The
• 8:42
  are
• 8:42
  frequently
• 8:43
  talking
• 8:43
  about
• 8:43
  Christ's
• 8:44
  compassion
• 8:45
  towards
• 8:45
  his
• 8:45
  followers,
• 8:46
  towards
• 8:46
  sinners,
• 8:47
  towards
• 8:47
  those
• 8:48
  who
• 8:48
  hated
• 8:48
  him.
• 8:49
  Everyone.
• 8:50
  He
• 8:50
  met
• 8:50
  felt
• 8:51
  his
• 8:51
  compassion.
• 8:52
  In
• 8:52
  fact,
• 8:52
  In
• 8:52
  fact,
• 8:52
  in
• 8:53
  the
• 8:53
  book
• 8:53
  of
• 8:53
  Mormon,
• 8:53
  which
• 8:53
  is
• 8:53
  an
• 8:54
  additional
• 8:54
  piece
• 8:54
  of
• 8:55
  scripture
• 8:55
  that
• 8:55
  our
• 8:55
  faith
• 8:56
  has,
• 8:56
  a
• 8:57
  scripture
• 8:57
  that
• 8:57
  talks
• 8:57
  about
• 8:57
  Christ
• 8:58
  bowels
• 8:58
  being
• 8:59
  filled
• 8:59
  with
• 8:59
  compassion.
• 9:00
  It's
• 9:01
  not
• 9:01
  some
• 9:01
  great
• 9:01
  imagery.
• 9:02
  Can
• 9:02
  you
• 9:02
  imagine
• 9:02
  just
• 9:02
  your,
• 9:03
  your
• 9:03
  entire
• 9:04
  abdomen
• 9:05
  being
• 9:05
  filled
• 9:06
  with
• 9:06
  compassion
• 9:06
  for
• 9:06
  those
• 9:07
  around
• 9:07
  you?
• 9:07
  And
• 9:08
  for
• 9:08
  yourself.
• 9:09
  That's
• 9:09
  a
• 9:10
  Can
• 9:10
  you
• 9:10
  imagine
• 9:10
  for
• 9:10
  a
• 9:10
  second,
• 9:11
  if
• 9:11
  that's
• 9:11
  how
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  felt
• 9:12
  towards
• 9:12
  your
• 9:12
  husband?
• 9:13
  And
• 9:13
  your
• 9:13
  children
• 9:15
  and
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  annoying
• 9:15
  neighbor
• 9:16
  and
• 9:16
  even
• 9:16
  yourself.
• 9:18
  I
• 9:18
  love
• 9:19
  this
• 9:19
  thought
• 9:19
  that
• 9:19
  the
• 9:19
  amazing
• 9:20
  Jodie
• 9:20
  more
• 9:20
  shares,
• 9:21
  and
• 9:21
  she
• 9:21
  says
• 9:22
  that
• 9:22
  she
• 9:22
  believes
• 9:23
  it
• 9:23
  is
• 9:23
  impossible
• 9:24
  to
• 9:24
  love
• 9:24
  anyone
• 9:25
  more
• 9:25
  than
• 9:25
  you
• 9:25
  love
• 9:26
  yourself.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:26
  I
• 9:27
  firmly
• 9:27
  agree.
• 9:29
  So
• 9:29
  let's
• 9:29
  bring
• 9:29
  more,
• 9:30
  Christ-like
• 9:30
  love
• 9:30
  into
• 9:31
  our
• 9:31
  lives
• 9:31
  in
• 9:32
  general.
• 9:33
  By
• 9:33
  feeling
• 9:33
  his
• 9:33
  love
• 9:34
  for
• 9:34
  ourselves
• 9:35
  first.
• 9:36
  So
• 9:36
  my
• 9:36
  challenge
• 9:37
  for
• 9:37
  you
• 9:37
  today
• 9:37
  is
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  embrace
• 9:38
  this
• 9:39
  practice
• 9:39
  of
• 9:39
  stepping
• 9:40
  into
• 9:40
  the
• 9:40
  role
• 9:40
  of
• 9:40
  compassionate
• 9:41
  observer.
• 9:42
  Every
• 9:43
  single
• 9:43
  day,
• 9:43
  figure
• 9:44
  out
• 9:44
  a
• 9:44
  way
• 9:44
  that
• 9:44
  works
• 9:45
  for
• 9:45
  you.
• 9:45
  Maybe
• 9:46
  writing
• 9:46
  a
• 9:46
  journal
• 9:46
  entry
• 9:47
  could
• 9:47
  be
• 9:47
  a
• 9:47
  really
• 9:47
  powerful
• 9:48
  way
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  do
• 9:48
  it.
• 9:48
  You
• 9:48
  sit
• 9:49
  down
• 9:49
  and
• 9:49
  write
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  yourself
• 9:50
  as
• 9:50
  if
• 9:50
  you
• 9:50
  are
• 9:50
  that
• 9:51
  compassionate,
• 9:51
  best
• 9:51
  friend
• 9:51
  looking
• 9:52
  at
• 9:52
  your
• 9:52
  day.
• 9:53
  You
• 9:53
  could
• 9:53
  do
• 9:54
  it
• 9:54
  just
• 9:54
  while
• 9:54
  looking
• 9:55
  at
• 9:55
  yourself
• 9:55
  in
• 9:55
  the
• 9:55
  mirror,
• 9:56
  you're
• 9:56
  washing
• 9:56
  your
• 9:56
  face
• 9:57
  and.
• 9:57
  And
• 9:57
  this
• 9:57
  to
• 9:58
  yourself,
• 9:58
  right?
• 9:59
  It
• 9:59
  could
• 9:59
  be
• 9:59
  while
• 9:59
  you're
• 9:59
  driving
• 10:00
  home
• 10:00
  at
• 10:00
  the
• 10:00
  end
• 10:00
  of
• 10:00
  the
• 10:00
  day,
• 10:00
  but
• 10:01
  choose
• 10:01
  a
• 10:02
  time
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  place
• 10:02
  where
• 10:03
  you
• 10:03
  were
• 10:03
  going
• 10:03
  to
• 10:04
  look
• 10:04
  at
• 10:04
  what
• 10:04
  you
• 10:05
  accomplished,
• 10:05
  what
• 10:05
  you
• 10:05
  didn't
• 10:06
  accomplish.
• 10:06
  What
• 10:07
  you
• 10:08
  made
• 10:08
  mistakes
• 10:09
  on
• 10:10
  what
• 10:10
  you
• 10:10
  screwed
• 10:11
  up,
• 10:12
  the
• 10:12
  things
• 10:12
  that
• 10:13
  transpire
• 10:13
  during
• 10:13
  your
• 10:14
  day
• 10:14
  and
• 10:15
  review
• 10:15
  them
• 10:16
  with
• 10:16
  your
• 10:16
  best
• 10:16
  friend,
• 10:17
  with
• 10:17
  your
• 10:17
  compassionate
• 10:18
  observer.
• 10:19
  Allow
• 10:19
  yourself
• 10:20
  to
• 10:20
  feel
• 10:21
  love
• 10:21
  and
• 10:21
  compassion
• 10:22
  wash
• 10:22
  over
• 10:22
  you
• 10:23
  for
• 10:23
  all
• 10:23
  of
• 10:23
  the
• 10:23
  things
• 10:24
  that
• 10:24
  you
• 10:24
  did
• 10:24
  today.
• 10:24
  Good,
• 10:25
  bad,
• 10:25
  ugly.
• 10:25
  It
• 10:25
  doesn't
• 10:26
  matter.
• 10:26
  And
• 10:27
  to
• 10:27
  allow
• 10:27
  yourself
• 10:27
  that
• 10:27
  fresh
• 10:28
  start.
• 10:29
  I
• 10:29
  talk
• 10:29
  about
• 10:29
  this
• 10:29
  a
• 10:29
  lot.
• 10:30
  You
• 10:30
  guys.
• 10:30
  But
• 10:31
  there
• 10:31
  is
• 10:31
  no
• 10:32
  way
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  improve
• 10:33
  yourself
• 10:33
  through
• 10:34
  self-loathing.
• 10:35
  Through
• 10:35
  guilt
• 10:36
  through
• 10:36
  blame
• 10:37
  through
• 10:37
  self-pity.
• 10:38
  It
• 10:38
  is
• 10:39
  only
• 10:39
  through
• 10:39
  compassion
• 10:40
  and
• 10:40
  love
• 10:40
  and
• 10:41
  understanding
• 10:41
  that
• 10:41
  we
• 10:41
  are
• 10:41
  doing
• 10:42
  the
• 10:42
  very
• 10:42
  best
• 10:43
  we
• 10:43
  can
• 10:43
  every
• 10:44
  single
• 10:44
  day.
• 10:46
  love
• 10:46
  and
• 10:46
  acceptance
• 10:47
  towards
• 10:47
  yourself
• 10:47
  with
• 10:48
  a
• 10:48
  healthy
• 10:48
  dose
• 10:48
  of
• 10:49
  accountability.
• 10:49
  And
• 10:49
  there
• 10:50
  is
• 10:50
  nothing
• 10:50
  that
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  cannot
• 10:51
  accomplish.
• 10:52
  So
• 10:52
  let's
• 10:53
  go
• 10:53
  out
• 10:53
  there
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  create
• 10:53
  something
• 10:54
  amazing.
• 10:54
  We'll
• 10:54
  talk
• 10:54
  friends.