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Breakdown to Breakthrough · Healing with Purpose

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Healing with Purpose Podcast, a place where we discuss how healing ourselves helps us find our purpose.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Kenya Marie.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: What is up?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a minute, and I wanted to come on here with nothing but truth in every single one of these podcast episodes.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna be honest, it was really hard to show up the last couple of weeks just because I have been going through something um really big in my life, and I'm not going to get into details of that here, but it actually led me to think about something that so many of us go through and forget.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as you can see from the episode title, today I want to talk about why it's so important to go through some of these breakdowns so that we can have these breakthroughs.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I was in conversation with one of my friends yesterday who's also going through a challenging time in her life.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And she and I were going back and forth and just relating on, you know, what do we do when we're in the thick of it?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do we do?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: How are we supposed to think and how are we supposed to act when we are quite literally going through something so challenging in our life?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I was explaining to her, you know, I've been going through some some shit, let's be honest, for like six months, but it's really been challenging the last month.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I told her, I said, you know, it's so hard to get through these things when you're in the thick of it.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I just now am starting to feel better.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she asked me, she's like, but how?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: How are you feeling better?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when she asked me that, it instantly triggered this feeling that I had just about two weeks ago.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I was asking my therapist, like, how do I get through this terrible time right now?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: What am I supposed to be doing?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, when I'm in conversation with my friend and she asked me that question, it just triggered, oh my gosh, when we are going through some of the most challenging times of our life, it can feel so hard to see the light that's at the end of the tunnel.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're out of it, you realize, oh gosh, yes, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna share with you the same pieces of advice that I shared with her and things that I planned to remember when I'm going through my next breakdown because it really did help me, especially in this last week, get through it so much faster.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm gonna break down three things to do when you are in the thick of your breakdown.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you know how I like to roll here.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I like to go right into it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to waste your time.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling those of you who are currently going through a very difficult time right now that you are going to get through it, that you are going to have a breakthrough, and also why it's so important that we actually embrace some of these breakdowns that we have.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So in my conversation with my friend, she is feeling terrible about basically every area of her life.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this was something, again, that I very much could relate to because just a month ago, I was like, there's nothing going well in my life.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so, it was so hard to see.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was so bombarded by all of the shit that was going on that it felt really, really hard to see the light.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And in the last couple of days, the last week, I've really made tremendous progress.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I'm in my conversation with my friend, she's like, How are you feeling so much better?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, You are going through, you know, she knows what's going on in my life.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, You are going through something 10 times worse than what I'm going through right now.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel this bad.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, how in the world are you smiling right now on the phone?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: How are you like laughing with me?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: How are you in this mood?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I focused on the last week that helped me get through this breakthrough or through this breakdown.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, at the start of this breakthrough, that I definitely know that I'm here, you know, that I'm experiencing now.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing that I told her was we need to connect back to ourselves.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: When we are going through a breakdown, and I'm using the word breakdown kind of loosely, but you can use any word that feels right.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: What I mean by a breakdown is just like a really challenging time where you quite literally cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe it is a terrible um job that you're in, and you're like, this is just the worst job ever.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's sucking the soul out of me.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not fun, it's not fulfilling.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I literally dread getting up in the morning to go, right?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's the experience you're going through.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're going through a terrible breakup.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are identifying things within yourself, and it's really freaking scary.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you feel like you're going through this dark night of the soul type of deal.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, what in the world?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why is everything crashing down around me?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I mean when I'm talking about a breakdown.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or it could be an actual physical breakdown, like I had many times in the last month, just physically, just on my knees in feudal position, crying.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what the fuck is happening?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why is everything just crumbling around me?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I'm referring to when I when I use the word uh breakdown.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So so the first piece of advice that I gave her was we need to remember who we are and connect back home to her.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, or him.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: We need to come back home.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: When I was going through the thick of my breakdown, and again, this for me lasted about four and a half weeks, um, where I was incredibly depressed, incredibly sad, really didn't see the light at any in any tunnel.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the tunnel wasn't even in sight.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know, you know, how to get through the day.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized now that I've come out of it, oh my gosh, I was so disconnected from myself.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: So disconnected from myself.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was connected from my highest self.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped meditating.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be an active, active meditator.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even gonna say used to because I'm back to it, but meditation has been a part of my life for the last like three years.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's something I do every single day.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And about six months ago, I went through something incredibly traumatic and I stopped meditating.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And as a result of that, I lost connection.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I lost connection, and that was terrible.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so here I am now, six months later, going through the worst part of it, trying to understand how the heck I'm gonna get through it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then once I finally did, I realized, oh my goodness, I was so disconnected.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped all communication with myself, my highest self.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your God, your universe, whomever you refer to, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know I use highest self and God interchangeably, but I lost connection with God.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped talking to God.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was, there was no communication.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: The signal was dead.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it made it so hard to get through my breakdown without having that sense of communication and that sense of, okay, I know that all is well.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, things are gonna be fine, right?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was talking to my friend and she goes, it's weird.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like consciously, I know like everything's gonna be fine or everything's gonna work out, right?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's usually what people say.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's usually what people say when someone's going through something.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like everything will work out and I'll be fine.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it does.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really hard to buy into that idea when you are so disconnected from God, right?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're so disconnected from your highest self.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard to be like, oh, is it going to be fine?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is it actually going to be fine?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because right now it doesn't feel like it.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I told her that helped me get out of this like four and a half week long, I mean, major depressive episode was connecting back with my highest self.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And how I did that was spending more time with myself.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: I spent more quality, intentional time with myself.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: I went back to meditation.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I started meditating every single morning for 45 minutes.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And on day five of this practice, I saw my highest self and it brought tears to my eyes.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever that looks like for you, maybe it's reading the Bible, maybe it's going to your spiritual retreats, maybe it's maybe it's doing a two-day like solo trip in the next county over.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like whatever you need to do, do it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you are in the middle of a breakdown and it's seeming like it's not freaking ending, ask yourself, am I connected to my greatest source right now?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is no, you know what you need to do.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: You need to build that connection back up.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: So the first piece of advice I gave her was listen, are you connected to your highest self right now?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Are you connected to your God right now?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: If not, we need to change that ASAP.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing that really helped me get through this breakdown was clearing my energy centers.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Clearing my energy centers.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't know what you believe, but I'm gonna tell you what I believe.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that there are seven energy centers in our bodies.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely base all things off of the chakra system.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're familiar with the chakra system, you know there are seven energy centers in our body.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And these energy centers are displaced throughout our body from the roots to the crown.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: The root sits at like the base of your spine.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: The crown is, you know, just like above your physical head.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what I had to do to really get through my breakdown was I needed, I needed to clear my energy centers.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I started to do was unblock them one by one.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'm gonna go through the seven chakras very quickly.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I'm gonna do another episode really breaking down the chakra system.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: But essentially, there are seven chakras.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I mentioned, we have the root, the root chakra that is located at the base of your spine.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is the energy point that governs our connection with the world.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really, really important that we have an unblocked and activated uh or online is the word I like to use, root chakra, because that is what keeps us balanced.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: That is what keeps us stable, that's what keeps us grounded.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: So oftentimes when I'm working with clients and they are like really, really in their heads, they're having a lot of anxiety, um, they feel just disconnected to everything and anything.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I say, okay, we need to really get your root chakra online.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: We need to.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, it has to happen.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: So there's the root, then we go into the sacral.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: The sacral is right above that.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's like your lower abdomen uh abdomen, uh, just like a few inches below your navel.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And your sacral is the energy center for sexuality and pleasure and creativity.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's the energy center that helps us stabilize our mood, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so we really need to make sure that that energy center is activated and online in order to really embrace the pleasurable moments in life.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling like it's very difficult to embrace those moments, it's likely you have a blocked or offline sacral.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, right above that, and again, I'm gonna go through these quickly because I think I'm gonna do a separate episode on the seven chakras in it um later, because I could talk all day about these things.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the one right above that is the solar plexus chakra.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the solar plexus is located right above the navel, so like near the top of your stomach.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the center for like personal empowerments.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we really, really, if you're feeling like full of doubt, really low self-esteem, um, like you have no strength, no confidence in your abilities, it's likely we have a blocks or offline solar plexus chakra.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Then above that is our heart chakra.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: The heart is, of course, located in the middle of your chest, so not on your physical heart, but like that energy centers in the middle of your chest.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And like you could imagine, it is the energy point that represents love.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Love for yourself, love for others, love for the world, love for your experiences.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then above that is our throat chakra.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: The throats that's located at the base of your neck, it represents our ability to express ourselves, express ourselves to others, to use our voice, right?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are having a difficult time communicating your needs to others or even to yourself, if you are having a difficult time being truthful with yourself or others, it's likely you have it blocked or offline throat chakra.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to make sure that that is activated and that's online.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Above that is the third eye chakra.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: The third eye is located in the smack middle of your forehead, just above your eyes.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this energy point really represents our ability to see beyond the physical plane.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like see beyond this 3D world and really tap into our intuition and tap into that spiritual realm, right?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: When we're at 50, 60, 70 plus, right?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your third eye chakra, I mean, this is your your ajna, is the other, you know, also known as ajna.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is this like our ability to really be intuitive?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had a client actually not too long ago ask me, she's like, How do you know if you're if you like have good intuition or not?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, the fact that you're even questioning it means that we need to unblock that third eye chakra.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I again could talk about that in the next, in the next episode.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the third eye chakra is really that, you know, ability to just see beyond the physical stuff and get beyond that and and really see um the greater picture.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we get to our crown chakra.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: So our crown is located just at the top of your head.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and this represents our connection with spirituality and in higher consciousness and our our inner self.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Crown chakra is so important.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it's so important that it's activated and that it's online.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's not, it's gonna be really, really, really hard to have that connection with your higher power, with your God, with the universe.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: So the second piece of advice that I gave my friends that I realized when I looked back at, like, oh my gosh, like, how did I just get through something that lasted four and a half weeks?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what the heck?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I go, okay, well, I connected back to my highest self because I first unblocked my crown chakra.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I made that connection.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: But more importantly, I activated my chakras.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I balanced them, I cleared them of the negative blocked energy.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I allowed that beam of light that comes from the ether to get through my crown and all the way through my root.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm grounded to Mother Earth, my, you know, and I'm connected to my highest source.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And at that point, I'll tell I'll tell you a quick story.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I have a relationship with my highest self.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And my highest self to me is very, it's a very clear image of a woman who is me, but is just in her power.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is a boss ass bitch.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like she is beautiful, she is powerful, she is empowered, she just is everything that I aspire to be.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she is me, but she's like a golden version of me.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I have had this relationship with my high self for probably three, two and a half to three years, and it's a beautiful thing, right?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're a religious person, you know, as you know, you could use this same analogy with like your God.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I talked to my highest self as if I'm talking to someone like sitting right next to me.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I ask a question, she responds, it's a dialogue.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had this connection with her for, you know, years, and it's beautiful, and I love it.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when I got into my depression and when I experienced this incredibly traumatic event that happened, you know, six months ago, I stopped meditating, I stopped being silent, I stopped being still, I stopped connecting with her, probably out of shame or embarrassment or guilt or frustration.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just like stopped speaking with her.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I allowed my energy centers to get incredibly blurred and incredibly crowded and like dusty and like offline.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was going through my meditations on day five of my meditation, she came through.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this has been six months, you guys, of not being able to see her.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like I was getting to the point of like massive frustration.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was going to breath work once or twice a week.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was, you know, I mean, really, that's actually all I was doing to try to connect with her.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, why isn't she showing up?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember at breath work like a couple weeks ago, I was like so mad.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was with my friend.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I told him I was like, dude, like, what the hell?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why isn't she coming?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is the place where for sure she always shows up.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: She always shows up for sure during my breath work session.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Why hasn't she been showing up for months?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was pissed.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was like really frustrated.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so, fast forward to just, you know, last week, she came through and I go, where the heck have you been?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I literally asked if I'm talking to like you, like if we're sitting in a room together.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Where have you been, dude?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where have you been?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, I've been here.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have been here and I've been trying to get through.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: But your energy centers were so blocked that I could not get through.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't until you did your practices, it wasn't until you did your meditations, step by step, right?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Crown, third eye, throat, heart, solar plexus, sacral, root.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until you activated every single one of those energy centers that you allowed this ethereal light to come through and get into your conscious awareness.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have been here.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: I never left you.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: You blocked me out.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, holy shit, like crazy.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, connecting with your high self and doing things that you you need to do in order to come home to yourself is so important.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: But how we do that is like clearing our energy centers.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I said this to my friend.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I said, if you are feeling all of these different things, if you're feeling insecure, if you're feeling um, you know, you're maybe you're having these big mood swings, if you're feeling a lot of doubt, you know, if you're feeling anger and security, like your chakras are blocked, they're offline, they're not working, and it's gonna make it very hard to connect to your highest self.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, okay, okay.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third and final thing that I did to get out of my breakdown and into my breakthrough was that I trusted that this was the path that I am meant to be on.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is really hard for us to do, especially when we are in the thick of something.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's really hard.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said at the beginning of this, it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm like, I don't even see the freaking tunnel, let alone see the light at the end of the tunnel.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm in complete darkness.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: And in that darkness, I still had to have faith that what was happening was happening for me.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was a divine plan, and I had to trust and surrender to all of the control that I wanted to have over this situation that I can't really control.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had to surrender to it, and I had to have faith that this is the plan for me.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: I could have never predicted it, I could have never planned for it, but this is the plan for me.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: So sit in this, feel through this, and know that every single thing that's happening is happening for your greatest and highest good.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Know that what is happening is happening for your greatest and highest good.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I didn't even realize I was doing until I kind of came out of it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I was, you know, looking through my journal and speaking with some of the people and you know, my friends in my life, and I would tell them, I'm like, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know, I know that I meant to be, I know I'm meant to be in this darkness right now.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept saying that.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't believe it, but I kept saying it.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know this, and I think because of my um just awareness of how the uh well, my awareness of of how spirit works, I think is what helped me get through that.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know for many people it's hard to even like think that way.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, it's hard to think, but really this is happening like for me, like really, but that is something that is definitely Feeling very true to my heart.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: So even during these last six months, like even in therapy, every you know week I tell my therapist, like, this shit sucks.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know it's happening for me, but it sucks.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, No, exactly.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: It does suck.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it does suck.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact that you know that this is happening for you is half of the battle.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so I said this to my friend.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: I said, remember, and she, you know, she's spiritually aware and awake as well.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, No, I know, I know this is happening for me.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna keep that, keep that faith and knowing that this is all happening for your greatest and highest good.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of trying to think your way out of it, instead of trying to ask yourself, what should I be thinking?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: What should I, how should I be acting?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like all these things getting so overwhelmed and consuming your mind with just crazy thoughts.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Be silent, be still, and feel the pain.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Feel the pain.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Feel the shitty situation that you're in and recognize it.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge it.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what I'm going through right now fucking sucks.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm going through right now is not what I thought I was ever going to experience.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: What I thought right now took me for a wild ride, and I feel like I was on a roller coaster and I did one too many spins upside down, and I like literally feel dizzy and confused and lost.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Feel through that.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I feel dizzy.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel confused.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel lost.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: I feel sad.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Feel through it.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And know that it is happening for your greatest good.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's up to you to find the message.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you right now, if you have that open form of communication, if you have that line of communication with your God, you will find the message way quicker than you might think.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something I will swear by until the day I die.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: You have that connection with your God.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: You will hear the message even through the shittiest of times, the toughest of times, the darkest of times.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have that connection with your God.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: You have that connection with your highest self, and you're able to ask highest self, why am I going through this?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to get an answer.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not immediately, maybe not in the way that you expect it, but you will get an answer.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have that line of communication, your chakras are blocked.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's really hard for you to connect with your highest self.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then it might take months, years, decades to get that message.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it's open.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: You surrender, you understand that everything is happening for you, even during the thick of it.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you rebuild that connection.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: You turn your chakras back online, you allow that wisdom to come through.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can ask, hey, okay, what am I supposed to learn from this?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: What am I learning from this?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: What is the message here?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this happening for me?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not fighting it anymore.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm accepting it.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm acknowledging it.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know why it's happening so that I don't need to make the same mistakes.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or so that next time I could do something different.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or even at the bare minimum, I could just get through it.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this happening for me?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Please tell me so that I can get through it.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you guys, that's the phase that I'm in now.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Things didn't just magically get all, you know, rainbows and butterflies in the last in the last week.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still going through the thick of it.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: But my mood, my energy is night and day from how it's been the last four and a half weeks.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still, let me say that again.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am still going through the thick of something.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Many things.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still going through it.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: But because I am my energy centers are online, it's allowing for me to have this connection with my highest self, ask these important questions, feel through the pain, and accept that every single thing that's happening is happening for my highest good.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm very clear about what that lesson is.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so clear about why I'm experiencing every single thing that I'm experiencing right now and have been experiencing for the last six months because I have that connection.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm able to ask, hey, why is this happening for me?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: And my highest self answers.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it's like talking, like if you and I were sitting in a room right now together.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I say, hey, why is this happening?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: She answers.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what am I supposed to learn from this?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: She answers, right?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's taken me a long time to get to this type of connection and relationship with my highest self.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: But that's why it's so important to foster that relationship.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: So most importantly, what I want you to know, if you are someone who is going through something so challenging right now, you feel like you are in the deepest, darkest breakdown of your life.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to know something very important.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I said this to my friend, and I'm gonna say it to you.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: These breakdowns, these challenges in life are necessary.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: They are necessary because we will never have a breakthrough without a breakdown.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Ever.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: There is a reason why we go through what we go through.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: There is a reason why jobs fail, relationships fail, you know, friendships might fail, uh whatever.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: You lose someone unexpectedly.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it seems in the moment that it's so tough and it's so hard, and you don't know why it's happening, and we're in all this pain and we're all this sadness, maybe we're in some anger.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so important to remember that we must experience these breakdowns, or else we'll never have our breakthroughs.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are going through something right now in your life, I want you to know, first of all, I love you.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love you, and I'm sorry that you are feeling this way.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to know that you are strong, you're going to get through it.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: There is a reason why it's happening, even if you don't know what that reason is right now.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Have faith that there's a reason that this is happening and get excited about the breakthrough.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I started to do.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Within the last week, I was dedicating myself to my meditations every single morning, 45 minutes.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm, you know, I'm back to doing it at night as well.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Morning and evening.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Meditation for me is a way for me to connect to my highest self.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's why I do it.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: I suggest it for everybody.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know there's some of you listening thinking, I can't meditate.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've tried.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I I can I can almost promise you that you can meditate.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: You just maybe haven't been taught how.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: So connecting with yourself, making sure that your energy centers are clear and having faith that you are going through what you're going through for such a divine reason, and that the breakthrough is going to be so freaking amazing.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to hang in there.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: You have to feel the pain.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Feel it.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't avoid it.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't run away from it.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Don't suppress it.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Don't numb it.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Feel the pain.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge that you're going through pain.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And also get excited that the pain will one day end.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that is what I wanted to share with you all today.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how we get from our breakdowns to our breakthroughs.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you got some value from this.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you are someone who is on a healing journey, you are looking to heal your body, manage your mindset, and really tap into your emotions, then I encourage you and I invite you to join us in our 10-week course, Healing with Purpose.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: This course is designed to walk you through the stages of healing.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are finishing up our first cohort.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: They have made tremendous transformations in their life, in their physical body, in their mental body, in their spiritual body.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm excited to do it all over again with the next group.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: So um that course starts on January 2nd.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, enrollment opens on the 28th of November.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, depending on when you're listening to this, um, the 20th of November is when enrollment goes back on.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's on, baby.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you are ready to dive in and really heal and move on and move on in a more purposeful way, then I invite you to join us in our 10-week course.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you can follow me on Instagram.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kenya Marie underscore.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Shoot me a message.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: If there's ever a topic that you want to discuss or learn more about or talk about when it comes to healing, healing the body, healing the mindset, um, changing the mindset, deconstructing the mind, right?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: If there's anything in that nature, trauma, emotional bodies, inner child, like the this is the stuff that I talk about in the healing with purpose course.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is the stuff I could talk about all day long.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is definitely, you know, my dharma, my purpose in life is to help humanity heal and be healthy.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh please, I am always open.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love when I I've been getting some and I love when you shoot me your DMs, like, oh my gosh, I I really want to talk about inner child healing.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Can you chat about that?
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I have a whole notes section.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely hit me up there.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: And um, if you have any questions about the Healing of Purpose course, I am always here to answer your questions.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: You could also find the links to all of our services and programs on my Instagram as well.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for being here.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for taking an active role in your own healing.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: By healing yourself, you heal the world.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much, and I will chat with you soon.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: To continue your healing journey, join me in my 10-week course, Healing with Purpose.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: This all encompassing course is comprised of teachers, healers, and holistic practitioners who teach you how to find your purpose in life by walking you through the stages of healing.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of the 10 weeks, you will have a deeper understanding of who you are and what your purpose is, and the tools and resources to heal your body and manage your mind.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: To apply for our course, click the link in my bio.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kenya Marie underscore, and we'll see you in there.