Latest / Aging ain't for Sissies / Guard Your Energy Like It’s Your Retirement Fund

Transcript

Guard Your Energy Like It’s Your Retirement Fund · Aging ain't for Sissies

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, and welcome to Aging A for Sissies.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hello, my friends.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: How is life going?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Aging A for Sissies, the podcast where we tell the truth about getting older and we stretch before we make sudden movements.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Today's topic is a really good topic, I think, right now, energy.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because at this age, we don't budget money first.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: We budget energy.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know, you know.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what we're going to talk about today.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: A little catch up on life.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have now been home for a week from my six-week road trip, and I feel so good to be back into whatever routine I have.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: I do have a routine.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: As you know, the gym is a big part of my routine.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: So back to that, back to my friends, back to church, back to studies, um, just back to life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Craig came home Sunday.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was nice to have four days to myself, honestly, to decompress and figure things out.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: We started talking about what be might be next.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: We're looking at a driving trip, maybe early summer to um late spring, early summer to Niagara Falls, um, going through the United States on the way over and then coming back through Canada, down through Detroit and back over to Chicago.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've said before, living in Chicago after living on the West Coast for most of our life.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: We lived in Oregon, California.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: We did live in Texas for a while.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: The kids were young then.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: We did a few road trips, but this actually gives us a great new jumping off point.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: We have done, we've gone to Ohio and Pennsylvania.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: But I think this is probably going to be our next trip.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have another trip planned to Minnesota, probably for the fall.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would like to see the house my dad grew up in.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So um that's another, again, you can do that and a nice driving trip to that.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: So although we're I'm back home, we're already talking about what's coming next.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um those pesky doctor's appointments, cardiologist Craig had a colonoscopy, but a little busy week, get a little blood work done.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have a couple of appointments next week to deal with this infection that I have in my darn hand.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Gonna try to figure that out, get me on some antibiotics eventually here, as soon as we know what it is, and get that going.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, seeing my cardiologist this week, he did say that I am an extremely unique medical specimen.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I am, I've been through a lot in my life, and I'm continuing to go through it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: This infection, again, they said buy a lottery ticket, because getting one of these infections once in your life is extraordinarily rare.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And having another one is it takes it up that notch.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope physically and medically you're doing well, mentally, you're doing well.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm working on that piece.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, working on all of it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: My kids are doing well.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Life seems to be going good for everybody right now.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Craig is super, super busy at work.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, the organ going into our cathedral.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Craig is in charge of all of the stuff, cathedral and construction, and um, that's gonna be happening here shortly.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: So his life is beefing up that way.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have a whole lot more to give you.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Gonna look for a new car.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's the starting journey.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: I hate buying cars.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I really love my car.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I would not get rid of my car except for two things.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's a 2018, it's in beautiful condition.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: The problem is it's an electric hybrid, and the charging port that my car has is being phased out.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Makes it a little hard.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have charging capability in my parking spot in my building.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: So meh, that's not great.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Second problem is my bicycle doesn't fit into the car.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: And um, Craig and I love riding bikes.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: The problem is, um, where I live in Chicago, I have to ride the busy streets to get to the lakefront.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: And now let me tell you something.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: All these people on these speedy bikes make it way too scary.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: So there's so many beautiful forest preserves and places to ride outside the city of Chicago.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: We really need to be able to put my bike inside the car.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: I have a pedal assist bike, so it's too heavy to put on a bike rack.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Craig's can go on a bike rack, but mine can't.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: So looking at Vovos, that's the first place we're gonna go is um the Vovos.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: And and uh I don't mind a small SUV, and I also don't mind a station wagon.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: At one point, we did have a Vovo wagon back in the day, and I really like it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: They're safe, they're great for the snow and the ice, which we have here.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll keep you updated on that.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of weird to think that that may be the last car that we ever buy.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you why, because we don't drive very often.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe once a week we take the car out, maybe for five miles.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: I may drive it to the gym so I can charge it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, honestly, we don't drive very much.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So this may be the last car that we ever purchase.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I hate buying cars.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: I hate the wheeling, the dealing, the haggling, the signing, the papers.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sight, I feel like you're signing your life away and the dealing, it's the haggling.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't like any of that.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: I do buy used cars because um, as we all know, the minute you drive a car off the lot, it it loses value.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to buy a year-old used car when I buy my car.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll see.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'll let you know.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: But energy, energy at this age is the new currency, isn't it?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we used to spend energy like we had a trust fund.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: There was a time when we would say yes to everything.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Dinner, sure.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Volunteer, of course.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Host Thanksgiving, why not?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally support someone who refuses therapy?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: We were energy billionaires.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and you know, we didn't spend it wisely all the time either.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: But we did have a lot more energy, and uh, you know, that does change.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: So now, now I wake up and think, hmm, what's my return on my investment here?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not just physical energy we're going to talk about, it's also mental energy because energy has become sacred.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: You don't get unlimited refills of energy anymore.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And the biggest lie we were ever told is if you can physically do it, you should.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: If it drains you, irritates you, or requires three days to recover, it costs too much.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's for me.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think about you.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't like being drained anymore, either mentally or physically.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: The recuperation is too much.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like being irritated by anything anymore.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's too great of a cost for me.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have energy suckers in your life?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do you say still say yes too much?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about that on this podcast that yet no is a complete sentence.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to start thinking about what it costs you.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because my body keeps receipts, man.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know how I know energy is currency?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because my body invoices me.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: If I overbook, headache, body aches.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: If I don't sleep, my face tells on me, lies on me, tells on me, whatever you want to say.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: If I eat like I'm 27, inflammation off the hook.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: My body gives receipts.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's got receipts, it keeps track of every little thing I do or don't do.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now, on my road trip, as you all know, I worked out as best I could.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And this first week back at the gym, I went, I worked, I did my class Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I took Wednesday off because of doctor's appointments for Craig and I, but I really needed to.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I could have made it to the gym if I had wanted to in my between appointments, but I knew that if I did, the cost would be too great.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I took a day off and I went today, which is Thursday.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: I usually record on Thursdays, drop my episodes on Fridays.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: But eating, I can get inflammation if I don't sleep, and sleeping has become, again, another.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, it's like a puzzle, my sleep right now.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: So when I add all those things together, I have to be very careful.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your body becomes an accountant in your 60s, it audits your nonsense.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I kind of respect that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's forcing me to choose wisely.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: I can't say yes to everything, and that's okay.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: That is okay.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I do my best every day.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody that knows me knows my I'm doing my best.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I got that from my nephew, my great nephew, Chris.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just doing my best over here at Marcy, and I am just doing my best over here.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it is a negotiation.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Energy is my new currency.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Energy is something I value.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: It is something that I put in a safe.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: It is something that I don't unlock for everyone.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's first talk about.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I have managed to ixane them out of my life.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in your 40s and you tried to fix them and you're in your 50s, and you explained yourself to them, and you're now in your 60s, you need to mute that thread.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You need to get rid of your energy vampires, your brain drainers.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the sassy truth: we are no longer rehabilitation centers for emotionally immature adults.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: We are retirement communities for our own peace.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean you have to be mean, it means we're aware.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: So look at your life.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you have any energy vampires, it's time to let them go.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, and you're still got people draining you like that, you need to remove them.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: How you do that, it's up to you.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: But they need to go.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, just stop taking their calls slowly but surely.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Don't return them.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: It'll happen.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Here's another thing.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Overexplaining is expensive.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: When did we decide we had to justify every boundary?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Set your boundaries and let them be.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: They're your boundaries.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to justify them.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I can't become because I'm tired becomes.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've had a long week.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: My hips been a little weird.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just can't come.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I can't make it.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Period.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Stop.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: No is a complete sentence.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Energy is preserved in brevity.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Aging gives you the gift of not performing.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to audition for approval anymore.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that is freedom, my friends.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Guard your energy.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's your currency.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to us at this point.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do the things I want to do, which means I need to have energy for them.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm wasting my energy on things that I don't want to do, well, who's the fool there?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Me.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Where we want to spend our energy.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the beautiful part.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: When you stop wasting energy, you have more for what matters.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Grandkids, family, travel, friends who feel easy, projects that lighten you up.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Morning coffee and silence, my favorite.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Water aerobics with your people.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I said it.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: My people.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: That is where I want to spend my energy.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Joy doesn't require chaos.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: It requires intention.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the shift.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about this a lot.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Rest is no longer laziness.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Please.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: This one hits hard.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: We grew up in it.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is no longer laziness.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about your energy.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know where you're spending it?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't take an inventory, take a mental inventory, take a physical inventory, figure out where that energy is going.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: I know I've made intentional decisions on how to spend my life, how I want to spend my energy.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Craig and I have really taken a step back in our relationship and looked at it.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've been able to share with Craig what's been missing for me and burning me out and running my energy down so that he can give me more of what I need so that I can have my energy for other things.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you've been married a long time doesn't mean your relationship is perfect.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Craig and I needed to do some serious work and a step back.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the best part of it is life here in Chicago has been better for us.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we were able to take that step back, talk about our relationship.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: And to be honest, Craig was really able to see where he wasn't showing up for me.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Through our relationship, Craig has gotten extreme had gotten extremely self-centered, selfish.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I allowed it to happen because it was easier.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we've done some really hard work and are working on that.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm finding my energy that I was wasting trying to just survive, I can now use for better things.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because with that communication with Craig, with that talking, and with us taking time to work on our relationship again at 35 years, I have more energy.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: So where are you wasting your energy?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Is it in a relationship with your spouse?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Is it in a relationship with a friend?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Is it saying yes to everything and not saying no?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Think about it.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: I thought about it.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I asked Craig for what I need, and Craig is working on giving me that.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's a huge step for us.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's a really big step.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you think, hmm, Marcy, you should have taken that step earlier.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it would have worked earlier.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: This was the time, this was the place, and it is now allowing me to have other energy to focus on other things.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: So guard your energy, trust yourself, listen to yourself.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: I always love having you here.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to remind you that Marcybacchusmedia.com is now my website, Marcybacchusmedia.com.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: You can listen to my episodes there on both, on all three, my unbottled, which is my sobriety, all things sobriety podcast.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you have someone in your life, share it with them that you think might need to hear it.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to tell you, um, if you're not listening to my sobriety podcast, because you don't think you have a problem with alcohol, it's not just alcohol people.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Talking about sobriety, you can add and take the word alcohol out and add scrolling.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: You can add um shopping, you can add any of the other things that you overdo.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: That podcast will give you a lot of tools to help improve your life.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: So if you haven't listened to it, again, my episodes are never long.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: My episodes go anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes, as you know.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Take a listen.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: But you can get also inside Marcy's Mind, which is my lifestyle, life hack, life stuff podcast, or what I'm just thinking about.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: That is that podcast.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you all already know because you listen to Aging A for Sissies.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: I try to keep this on all things aging.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you being my listeners.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you sharing this with your friends.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I wish you a good week and go out there and do something positive.