Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: The Measure Of Man

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THE DISCLAIMER: The Measure Of Man · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Or Raw Dog It.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodak. Oh, g'day fellas.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: Backbone.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: G'day fellas.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: How's everyone going?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Going good today, man.
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, good.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I had a good sleep last night.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank God for that.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Do you have a bath? Nah. Did a bit of work. Cool.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I did. I did a bit
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: of work, but I sat on the couch. I've got
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: my brother in Orlstone, and I came home, and he's
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: sitting on my couch. Yeah, no, that's not cool.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: That's not on, brother.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: We've got a track record there, because you'll remember his
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: mother used to come in stone. She used to sit
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: in my spot.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: And she would say things to me like after a
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: hard day's work. She would say, oh, is this where
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: you normally sit? Yeah. I'd say, yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes, oh, yeah.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And stay there. Shocking bastards.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: So it's right through the whole family, man. It's terrible. Yeah.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Did you let them know that's your spot? Well, I said,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: when I come home, you stand up.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: That's what I said. And he laughed and we had
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: a laugh, but he got the message.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, very clearly.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I think that's fair enough.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: We have fallen into, you know how when you go
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: to bed, you all have a side?
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I'm sounding like there's like four people in my bed.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: It's like the Chocolate Factory movie, yeah. Each heavier side.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: The same scenario on our couch set up. We've got
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: one couch facing, you know, it's an L shape, one
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: facing the TV and one side onto the TV. Somehow
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: my wife, from the very get-go, procured that L shape
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: looking directly at the television, whereas I've got the one
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: side onto the... So when I'm lying on the couch,
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: I have to turn my head.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And she'll go... Oh, I mean, you can sit here
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: if you want to. And I go, no, no.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: She doesn't mean it. Yeah, you've still been polite after
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: all these years.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: And I've had bloody crook necks from that.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I wonder what would happen, Jizz and Keezy, if you
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: got to bed first tonight.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Maybe this could be some hilarious social content that we
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: do in our bedrooms with our wives. Where you set
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: it up, but you just go to bed and you're
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: on her side of the bed.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: What kind of reaction do you think you would get?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: She'd think it was funny.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Would she?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: What are you doing? And then hop in on my– yeah, 100%.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: And then she would hop in on her side, but
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: right up against the edge. But to be honest, I'm
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: the one that likes the right side of the bed.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: It's more me.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: The right side?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: The right-hand side of the bed is– because I like to–
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: when I'm watching something on my laptop to fall asleep,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I like to roll over onto my right shoulder.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: But surely– It goes doorway, you walk in the door,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: and the first person is you.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: And then my wife, yes.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, same here.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Same here.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: So if there's an intruder, they've got to go through you.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, because I do the spoon on the left-hand side.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the same thing as well, actually.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Five to ten minutes max.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: And then I turn to my right to go to sleep.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Yes. Well, in this house that we're in now, currently
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I'm on the right-hand side of the bed.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: But we moved bedrooms, and then there was on the
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: left-hand side of the bed. Right, okay. Because it was
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: closer to the door. Right, I've got you. You know
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: what I mean?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And to be honest, we probably changed depending on the bedroom.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: You've been in that bedroom for a long time, Keezy.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I have.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: I never change.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Well, you were.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I refuse.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I never change, Keezy.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: You've been in two bedrooms in 30 years.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, that's right. But even when we go away,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: it's always the same. If we, you know, be in
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: bed or go to a hotel or whatever, I'm always
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: on the right side.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I really prefer that too. Yes. I don't want to
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: be on the left side, but I will.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: But do you consider it? Because I've put that thing
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: in the chat, but that thing of that these are
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: the things that you've got to do. So you've got
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: to be on that side closest to the door. no
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: matter what the side is, in case of an intruder.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: The one I always, I agree, the one I always
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: think about is when you're walking on the footpath, do
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I have to be on the side with the traffic?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: That's right. In case a car jumps a curb.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: What, like so I can stop, the car has to get.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Through me first? Exactly, that's right.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: That's bullshit.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. And then also letting somebody through the
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: door is another one. You know, ladies first.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Woman and children if a boat's sinking. Yes. Or a
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: house is on fire as well. Mm. Horaki Big Show,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: weekdays from 4 on Radio Horaki.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Oh, g'day, Matt.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, hi, mate, yeah.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: tune in to the Horaki Big Show, four to seven
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: weekdays on Radio Horaki and iHeartRadio.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: The Horaki Big Show podcast.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not on the right-hand side of the bed as
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: a consideration for if we had an intruder.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: No, you're there because it suits you.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Because it suits me. But what I will say is
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: that when my wife and I are walking in the
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: CBD and I see a dodgy character coming towards us,
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: I'll always try and insert myself between the dodgy character
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: and my wife.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: So if he goes, da-doosh, old hoodie Jay clicks into gear.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Whoa, yeah!
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: What, you start doing racist sort of sound effects? Like
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: an impression of karate.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Like an 80s karate movie. Jizz Lee.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I do do that.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do do.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: But, you know, I'd like to think, I don't know,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: but I would like to think if there was an intruder,
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I'd be.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: The first up, of course.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the first to go.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Yes. Out the window.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Yes. My wife has the best seat in our house, too,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: on the couch. She's at the corner.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Is she?
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in the aisle. Corner of the L, beautiful spot.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and I'm off to the side, and then I'll try
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: and put my feet up on the L, on the
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: side of a diagonal, and she'll always have her feet there,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: and then she'll go, and then have to move hers across.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: I tell you what, though, now that we've got that
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: magnificent coffee table at my joint, I just put my
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: feet up on that.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you should.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I just go straight on.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Well, actually, I was doing that at your come dine
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: with me for a bit there when the wars were on,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't sure whether I was allowed to.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I saw you do that.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: That's quite rude, yeah, at someone else's house.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: I saw you do that, and I was going to go,
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: that's all G, Kesey.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you were trying to get a good score. Well, no, because...
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: You don't want to go telling your gift shop. But
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: it's so big.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: There's nowhere to put my feet.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: No, there wasn't.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: It's such a rustic table. Who cares if, you know,
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: you've put your.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Your big hooves on it. Your big hooves on it.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Your clompers.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And I had my clompers off.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Did you? I had my socks on. Yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I brought my shoes off. We're all worried about
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: waking up your neighbors.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: No complaints from the neighbors that I'm aware of.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Because we had our socks on, man.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: And my wife, she does clomp around. And I told
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: her just to take it easy.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: My brother-in-law, he's a compa as well.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Heel, toe.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Heel, big healer. Yeah, same. He came up the stairs
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: the other day and he walked in and I said,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: it's almost like you've got a heel on each foot
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: and then instead of toes, you've got another heel.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: You've got four heels. And he said, ah. I was
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: walking up the stairs, I was thinking, is he going
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: to say something?
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You've got to walk up with your toes, right, upstairs.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: I'm a clomper as well, I've realised, and it was
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: only through the videos that Keezy did of us doing golf.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I've got the weirdest, stupidest walk.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like a real.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Plodder. You know what I mean?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Plodding along.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: But it's, you know, it's.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Jase, it's your golf that does the talking, man.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, true.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: That's true, man. Fuck, it's good.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, it reminds me, I've got to cut another.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: We filmed another golf video today. I've got to edit that.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. You played golf today. How'd you go?
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about it, man.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Our ambitions were?
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Under 100. You were talking it up. You said, I've
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: got a feeling we're both going to shoot under 100.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to be positive. Yeah, we had
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: a fucking shock.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you were both dreaming. We both dropped a lip.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: And Kesey was like, Kesey said, I think I've sorted
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: something out here.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: And I thought I had.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And I played well on the front nine.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Let me just say, last week was my worst round ever.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: This week, it was my second worst round.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: I'll leave it at that, all right? We were broken, decimated,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: physical wrecks.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: But then it was like, fuck it, should we film
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: a video? At least we've got something out of it.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Something, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Plus the exercise, man. We've got my steps today, Mogi.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Holy cow.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I haven't had any steps today. I'm scattered about.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: But it's amazing when you think you haven't had any steps,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: and then you look how many you've done, and you're like, oh.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I've done fuck all. I've done 500 steps.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You know what I mean?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Like, is it go to the toilet and shit?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: Well, 500 is fuck all.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: But, like, all I've done is walk from my room
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: into the shower, into the kitchen, into the lounge.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Do you know how I picked myself up today?
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Little trick.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Hot pot tonight.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck's sake.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Didn't I tell you to think about hot pot?
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: No.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: When you were putting?
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: I was already thinking about hot pot.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: ODJ's got the yips.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, have you got the yips?
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: He's got the putting yips.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, you've had the yips, right? I have. You're fucking hopeless.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: He's starting to really dwell on it now.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: He's really getting inside his own head, yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: And he'll step up to hit it and he'll say
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: stuff like, this is where I fucked it up last time.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, Dad, of course.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You're going to hit bad if you think that as
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: soon as you go to hit it.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I think I'm.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Having a hot pot, Hoity J, man.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Terrible putting. That is good stuff.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Life is good.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Wednesday, eh, fellas?
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: That's good. You and I have got a date tonight, Keezy.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: We do, man. We do, man. Do, man.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: We do, actually.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: That'll be good. That'll be good.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Straight after the show.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Straight after the show, mate. Sorry, Jase, we can't dilly-dally.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I'd like to sit around and plan tomorrow's show, but
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: we've got to get out of here, brother.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: You guys have got to do you, guys. You know
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying?
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah we do I would have been keen for a
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: hot pot but I mean I had one yesterday.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah true hot pot.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: To be honest I had one yesterday to stop myself
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: from going tonight oh yeah you know what I mean it's.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Like well I can't go for a hot pot now
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: I've already had one yeah yeah it's all good shit
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: yeah yeah.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah enjoy it what the podcast What podcast? The one
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: we just did.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I haven't been recording any of this.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is the big show. You've got a little
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: cake there, Keezy. Radio Hodaki.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: It's a muffin. Where did that come from?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I got it out of the freezer for golf.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: They're my freezer banana chocolate chip golf muffins.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: You don't often see glad wrap anymore. The South Island,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: they love using glad wrap. You go to a cafe,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: everything's still wrapped in fucking glad wrap.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Much rarer in the North Island, I've found.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, this one's got glad wrap on it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. About 20 layers. Nah, just the one.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, go easy.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: You guys just chill out, man.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Think of the environment, Keezy.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to buff this straight into the ocean.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Big Show 4-7 weekdays, Hauraki Bay.