Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 132: How’d I Miss That? Melissa Radke Talks Platforms, Pumps, and Castle Selfies

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Episode 132: How’d I Miss That? Melissa Radke Talks Platforms, Pumps, and Castle Selfies · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

• 0:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Gannolk, and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey friends, welcome to podcast.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know that you were loving this series because you guys loved my mom.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: My goodness, I'm not sure I've ever had a guest on that I've gotten so many people that have deemed me commented on social texts at me.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad you love my mom, and I think you might like her better than you like me, and I don't even blame you.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you missed last week's show, go back and listen.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: She was a big hit, but I'm so thankful my mom was with us.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, we're in the middle of this series where we are literally talking about my book, how do I miss that?
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: But we're doing it through the lens of people from my past, friends, family, all kinds of people who make me laugh.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we're doing it all.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this week, it falls under the category of people who really, really make me laugh.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: But before we get there, I wanted to say something.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that is, if you purchased a book,
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: then thank you first and foremost, but you can get some free stuff from my publisher and it's really easy.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you go to the podcast notes and you click on the link that is in there for freebies from the publisher, you know what?
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You will get a digital copy of the book.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you hearing me?
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: A digital copy of the book like now, you can get a seven day reading plan that goes along with the book.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can also get sneak peaks of the audiobook, which means the intro and the first chapter and there's exclusive bonus content.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you know what that is?
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a small podcast from me and Melissa Radke, an additional one.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you're already purchased a book, go to podcasts, I was click on the link.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: All you have to do is fill out your name, the order number, and an email, and then it will send all of that to you.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's some other things we would love for you to do later, leave a review, other things, but it is all yours.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you haven't purchased a book,
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, guys, moment of silence, will you please do that?
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It would mean so much to me.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it is a week out you guys.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it is not too late.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you can also click on that same link and get all the fun bonus content.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, today, Melissa Radke's here.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my goodness, my daughter Kate, as you know, edits his podcast and Kate has texted me five times saying she cannot stop laughing about certain things.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you're gonna get a kick out of there.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna laugh hard, and Melissa,
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: is an author, she's a podcaster, she's a speaker, she wrote Chicken Fried Women, which is a hilarious book that came out this last year.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, she wanted to come on and interview me on my book, which is so kind and gracious.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I wouldn't say we interviewed, but we surely laughed a lot.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, you're gonna love Melissa.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I cannot wait for you to hear today's show.
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here we go with Melissa, Radki.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Melissa, Radki, welcome to the Radki Janolf Show.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: the red key and off, which is how it should be.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, how could we, what would our benefit name be?
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like if we, the, the rant, I can't get how they can buy names.
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Solissa, um, that's Melentia, Melentia.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really happy to be talking to you today and I'm going to say something right off the bat and you're going to roll your eyes and you're going to think in your head.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I didn't want that on the show.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to edit that out, but I'm going to say it anyway.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, please do.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to start with you're a great writer.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You are a really good writer.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You told me once, you said, Melissa, riding comedy can be so hard.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you, you made note of the fact that in my book, I do a lot of dialogue back and forth.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you said, from a comedic perspective, that's very hard to do.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Genius, how you do it.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I really appreciate it that.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I gotta give that right back to you.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have as much dialogue back and forth storyline dialogue.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm just freaking impressed.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm freaking impressed how you take something funny and make something meaningful.
• 4:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, not even that.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you take something funny and make something Jesus.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a difference in making it meaningful.
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can make something take something and make it meaningful.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Idiot, Idiot.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Idiot.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can do that as my mother would say.
• 4:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but you, how you put Jesus in there is oppressive to me.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that, I'm, I can't edit that out.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm kidding.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I really, I didn't pay her to say this anyone.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know, but I appreciate that, especially because you know how I feel about this is like the mutual, whatever.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Association, I'm here, but you know how I felt about your book and how I told you I told you that I read a chapter of your book on every chapter that I wrote of mine Just because if I can laugh at someone else's book like it just reminds me why matters and why funny Resonates and so anyway, that means a lot coming from you Well, you're welcome.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually thought she's gonna be uncomfortable with that She's not gonna want that but hey, don't doesn't medicine go down but easier
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: right with laughter and with sugar and it just, it just does.
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's true.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is true.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I, I, I, you say this a lot.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you, because I, you know all the interview questions, I get asked a lot.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why does funny matter?
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, because if you can make someone laugh, you can speak truth over them.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've just found that to be right.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but listen, enough.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to talk to you out something very pressing real quick.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it is very pressing because last night
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I've been there for five days.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I told you before we started recording.
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had an interview first thing this morning with some poor Philadelphia TV station that got the worst version of me because I'm just like Disney drugged out.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's really bad over here.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I needed to talk to you about something.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you and I were ever have a show, this is what I want to pitch it as, okay.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: The title will be, what are we doing here?
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we just talk about the things going on in this country that, what are we doing here?
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I would like to start our first version of this as the Disney World one.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to ask what are we doing here in Disney World when I'm walking by the castle and we have grown adult women taking sexy selfies.
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like lie.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're lying.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why?
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: You saw what somebody doing that?
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not somebody molasses somebody's and they get grown adult women.
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like there's men taking their picture for them.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm talking like skin type crop top.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: By the way, there was a cold front.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: freezing.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're all in jackets.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like in the 30s at Disney while we're there.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Cropped at shirt and like one foot up tucked up back and making the face and doing all these sexy smoochie kissy.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, is anybody embarrassed about stuff anymore?
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: For real!
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, yep, okay, so the question though is yes the question why is she doing that or is the question actually if we peel back this onion?
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who is interested in the photos of her doing that?
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I want to know who's the pervacious male that is gonna like run to Instagram and look at it did you say pervacious
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: They were, that's a great title for a, for a podcast.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: The parvaceous podcast.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if that's a word, but it's fabulous.
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I don't know.
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: My college daughter was with us and then my little one are other son or, other son couldn't come.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: But my college daughter goes,
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not only did I not want to see that live, nobody wants to see that on your feet.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's nobody in culture that's like, oh, man, I'm really, I guess the pervacious ones, but other pervacious.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, you need to look that up because if it doesn't mean perv malicious things, something's wrong.
• 7:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then we did something wrong.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, here's the second.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are we doing here from Disney World?
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is going to be a little bit,
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: controversial, but can we talk about the Disney gear that people wear?
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're seeing like this dad.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sitting by this dad at this character lunch history, and he looks to be probably a guy that's very successful in life.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: But he's got on a goofy hat with the long heirs hanging down.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I can't take you seriously, and I need you to take that off.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I walk by the store, and there's another grown, I'm talking out males right now, but there's the female versions.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's a grown man that's a large fella, large, and he's trying on a Disney bomber jacket.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, he's like, saying this person, do you think it's too small?
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I want to be like, that's the least of the worries with you buying a Disney bomber jacket.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is something he's going to wear in the legitimacy of his own life.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what's weird to me.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now listen, did any of you wear the ears?
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, we didn't do any of that.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I have zero problem with the ears.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have zero problem with a family that has to all wear the matching shirts in case they get lost.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know?
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 9:10
  [UNKNOWN]: I
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: wanted to ask you about something that I hear people make fun of all the time and that is Disney adults adults that you see out in public and they're wearing a Mickey Mouse watch and they have Mickey Mouse on their license plate and they are Disney adults.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about that.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am not a Disney adult.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That said, I have absolutely nothing in this house with Mickey Mouse on it.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: That said, I am an in-eagram seven.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we are.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I am, which means it is truly the most magical place in the world for me.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, Bob Ross said, if I want to write a good book, the first place I go is Disney, and I just walk around because it's so magical and he's like it feeds my Enia Grimm seven and I'm just absolutely enamored with everything.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel the exact same way.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Does that make me and Disney adult?
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Does that make me bad?
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even own the ears, but no, I agree with you.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 10:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a seven.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a three.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just trying to achieve my way around there, by the way.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: That we wrote that right faster than they did.
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: We got four in before 11.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's how, I mean, it's not good.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I agree.
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: We like Disney.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: We are Disney people, all the things.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just all the excess arising.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, they have like, can they have a diamond store there?
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like a nice, high-end jewelry.
• 10:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't remember.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not Cartier, but it's something like that.
• 10:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, who's buying Disney diamonds or at least fine jewelry?
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, and I should I, is it my business Melissa?
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 10:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I just wonder, what are we doing here?
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, I don't know if you're a Disney adult or not, I think if you are, it's great.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if you start wearing a bomber jacket, I'm going to call you out.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you're allowed, but David and I are going in the end of February where we're going, I have to go for a work thing, and the company is already purchasing me a day past a Disney, so I can either go with the people I kind of work with, or David could actually go with me, and we could have an adult's day in the park without our kids, which sounds amazing, because last two times we've been, we've had to break up fights.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we've had to catch vomit at our hands, right?
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the middle of a line from remeading a turkey leg in 112 degree temperature.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, yes, you know, I think it might be enjoyable with David.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think you have my not that anybody was looking for it.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have my full support.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to send you Disney ears if that's what you enjoy.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I want you to walk out of there with nothing more than some great memories, maybe the ears you wore.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't you come out with any other garb and if David's not a goofy hat, I don't want to know about it.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't care to know.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would never allow it.
• 11:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, if David's gonna get a goofy hat, he ain't going to be with me that night.
• 11:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you that right now.
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Last one, last one, and then we're going to get to real business if there if there ever is real business.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but here's the last one and to your point with the kids.
• 12:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are we doing here?
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: When we're screaming at our kids, like maniacs, and it typically starts with, do you know how much we spent on this trip?
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, they don't.
• 12:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: They don't understand the power of a mighty dollar, and so you take the good with the bat, and if you're gonna lose your business, let's not do it in front of the slinky dog.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's do those composure people.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Agreed?
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I feel you.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel you, but yet, but yet, I put myself in the place of the parent who has walked all day on planner fashion artists, right?
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who has shoes that are a little bit too small for them so that they could afford the fast pass, right?
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, they're hot, they're sweating.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's in paraminopause.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, she's
• 13:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was me, that was me, that was me, that was me, that was me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Rick doesn't leave a mark.
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just feel for the parents.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I do.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I do.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel for me because I'm in my 50s and I have a third grader and that's just God's design apparently for our life and that's fine But we took our college kid to buffer
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that she could like, you know, do the 10th tower of terror in a row, because she has a puke like the rest of us.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she doesn't have planar fashion yet.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: She can't even say it yet, that her mom says.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so she's able to kind of walk that line, the balance, tip the balance for us where we can't.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm just saying,
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: we all have our moments of frustration.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did too.
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: My kid was a jerk some of the time too.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, he was.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just a tiny bit of decorum put on your, you have on your goofy hat, right?
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have on your bummer and you're screaming like a baby and it's a visual.
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'll take the sexy selfie over that.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, that's all I have, just my, just one of the videos that pop up the videos that pop up online of the of the adults fighting in Disney, what are we doing here?
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is going on?
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yes, well, I totally know what you mean and you know what happened.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I watched so much of it.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got to the airport last night.
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's a girl.
• 14:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was woman screaming at her mom so out of control.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I assume it's a Disney rage.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: She didn't have on goofiers, but I think it was Disney rage.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: It looked like it smelled of Disney rage.
• 14:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: The police came over and broke it up with her elderly mom.
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I was being all judgmental about it and like wow.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's not good behavior and a JB my little one's looking.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, somebody needs to have a time out like I was real and digna until I went and got on the tram at the Orlando airport and my kids set on the back.
• 15:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's like a little place you can sit and then I walked up and he's like
• 15:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: My son sits down.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: He goes, oh, and I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just because you bought a horse doesn't mean you have to be a horse's, but then I guess I didn't say it because I tamed my Disney rage.
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: So there you go.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Good for you.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
• 15:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there we are.
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can like a true author and public speaker, ma'am.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Which by the way, PS makes us better than everybody else because we're authors and public speakers.
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we really know we have decorum.
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, people.
• 16:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did a quorum, yeah, as you can see, as you can tell, that's the quorum.
• 16:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so when you were on the show while back, you were so cute.
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: You were like, hey, let me come on to interview you.
• 16:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: When you get close to the release of your new book, and I was like, really, and you're like, I did it for Jen, Hatmaker, I've done it before, and you offered, and we know you're regretting it.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, David's sitting over there, I'm shaking his head like, yeah, she didn't want to do it now.
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am not regretting in the least.
• 16:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: But you showed up, and I just want to say thank you, and I wouldn't say we're going to do an interview per se, but we are going to talk a little book, but we're just going to have a conversation laugh.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you think?
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I knew that you would be that way.
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't really like to point a lot of attention at yourself, which I don't get at all.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I'm sitting here thinking, my God, if she's not going to talk about her book, I'm going to turn it back on mine.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I do want to talk about the book in your way, which is just conversational and, you know, right?
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So even your editor sent like a list, there's a list of Cynthia hand off questions that you can ask her about the book and I said, David, take this.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take this.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's going to hear these same questions over and over and over.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you have to answer them on the Philadelphia show this morning?
• 17:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd answer like two or three and I don't even, I don't know, they're probably like, did she write that book or did someone else because she couldn't answer her own questions?
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's still wondering what happened.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I do want us to dive in and I'm going to ask you the most.
• 17:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: typical question, which is why this book, why now, you know, my philosophy is we don't generally write what we haven't already been through ourselves.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We can't teach what we don't know.
• 17:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So why this book, why now, I'll for you.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that is a question I really haven't been asked and I love that and until your point I'm not going to read a parenting book no fence of someone has a second greater and a four year old like you just have a but you haven't walked that road yet and I probably would have written that book all those years ago someone would have given me an opportunity so I'm so glad that the Lord is like no we're going to slow your role sister and so
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, the practical side is I got a two-book deal, and I wrote my first one life as messy got as good, and then it was time to write the second one, and I was like, I have nothing.
• 18:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you felt that way at all, but this sense of like, like, mass not even writers block, like concept block, like I don't know, do I have anything to say?
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I just feel like the Lord kept laying it on my heart, like listen.
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: You enter fifties with a third grader and not that this is just a parenting book, but you've lived a lot of life.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what is it that you would want to tell your younger self?
• 18:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I kept going back to like, don't miss it.
• 18:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't miss it in faith.
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't miss the things that matter.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't miss it in parenting.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Stop obsessing over things that aren't actually eternal.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't miss it in marriage.
• 19:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just kept going through all these things.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you know what?
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's totally the concept.
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I
• 19:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like you, my hope is to be really comical to laugh at myself and my family, but also at the same time, give you some spiritual truth and say, like, listen, don't miss it.
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: The stuff matters because life is brief.
• 19:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that was kind of how it came about, but man, the process.
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: You and I've talked about this.
• 19:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: That bookwriting process is not for the week.
• 19:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know someone's like, why have always wanted to write a book, stop complaining?
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I hear you on that.
• 19:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: But when you are extroverted
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's awful.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's terrible.
• 19:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's terrible.
• 19:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but yeah, I'm so thankful to be on this side of it.
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it, it's John Akeh.
• 19:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you follow him.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love him, but he's loving.
• 19:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love him.
• 19:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love him.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: We need to interview him.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get that on the.
• 19:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've got it.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it's been a while.
• 19:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: But he basically talks a lot about how you, you, you know, to get to do things that other people don't get to do.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have to do things other people don't want to do.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like that's kind of the book writing.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And nobody wants to sit and
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: day after day, do the stuff, but then one day you get to have an actual book and send your hands, you're like, okay, Lord, like use it.
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think the topic is genius, actually.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even you're talking about, I didn't even know what the concept would be.
• 20:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: it's a really catchy concept, you made the title funny, I want to talk about, you said, how do I miss that?
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then you talked about drive-through confessions, what are the other ones?
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Gas pump obsessions and figuring out what really matters.
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, obviously drive through I want to go gas pump, drive through, and I want to know why you put those, like what is the story behind those?
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so gas pump I was driving to talk at a big event in Houston and so you know I live in Dallas so a couple hours away and I stopped at Bucky's now Melissa can we have a moment of silence for Bucky's You talk about freaking Disney adults Bucky's adults run in a month Cynthia my daughter now she's not changed.
• 21:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's about to be 20 years old.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's a beautiful
• 21:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Curvacious.
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did not say pervacious.
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's a pervacious woman.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, she's beautiful.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm not kidding.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's got a personality to match it.
• 21:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's a T and all the way around.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: She called me from Becky's wearing a Becky's one Z.
• 21:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, and I said, I didn't raise that.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tell you right now.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't raise that.
• 21:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll spike that right off of you.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: She said, my freezing cold.
• 21:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've got two girlfriends in the car.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're laughing their heads off.
• 21:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We love it.
• 21:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're all wearing one.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, that's not right.
• 21:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that the same as a big guy wearing a bomber jacket.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is, it's, anyone's worse than you, burthing it, I married it.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: My husband, he bought one one time, and you know when he wears it?
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is, my husband's a trial lawyer, he's pretty serious guy.
• 21:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, where's it once a year on Christmas morning with the tail and everything?
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, that's, that's, no, it's horrible.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But he's a trial lawyer.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's got to, he's got to experience some joy at some point.
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Letting him give it, let him have it.
• 22:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have your mouth.
• 22:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm driving on, I stop.
• 22:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so this woman asked me, she and her daughter asked me for food.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, well, I don't have any money.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't give you anything.
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, no, could you go in and buy me food?
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to Melissa and I'm like, well, clearly they want my kidney.
• 22:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 22:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's, that's my, my frame of thought.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is they're going to rob my carwama way.
• 22:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: They want to steal my kidney.
• 22:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what kind of
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I went in and I grabbed them stuff and I'm coming back and I'm in a rush Need to get gas and I give him the stuff and they're lovely.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: They thanked me and they went on their way and my car I mean my kidney was intact and my car was intact.
• 22:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, and so I have to get to this event I'm keynote Melissa, okay, I have to get to the platform and I just tear off like tear off and when I tore off in my car I actually tore off the gas
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I knew you were going to say it.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I knew it.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I and all the frenzy I forgot to put it back up in a Parallel-Bucky's people are stupid because no like myself like Gaston go flying they have like some sort of hook and it just kind of comes undone So I'm literally down the way and I have like that decision to make like what am I gonna do am I gonna like
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: back on up and go replace it or so.
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got out and I'm like, you know, three cars down.
• 23:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got and I had to walk a shame.
• 23:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I carried it back and it was horrifying.
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's so there's gone.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I, you know, in the book that I talk about this, how?
• 23:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: That day what C most important was what was going to happen on a platform and that day I think the Lord cared most about what was happening at the pump and I think every day we have decisions we have to decide are we going to care more about the platform or the pump and your platform may not be platform I'm speaking to the listener because I know Melissa does show up on platforms often, but
• 23:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not everybody is up on a stage somewhere, but we all have the things that we think are Instagramable or they're the things that seem most culturally acceptable or the things that make us look good.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And are we going to care about those things?
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are we going to care about the things God cares about?
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that was one of those moments where the Lord slowed me down.
• 24:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, actually, you know what?
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're a big assignment today.
• 24:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Was it the pump?
• 24:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I did it, I did the thing, but the heart and the motive behind it was not with the Lord would have wanted for me.
• 24:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I feel like that's a thing in life.
• 24:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All I've missed it so many times where I've thought the big things were the big things.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it was really the small things where the God things.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's my encouragement.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think with that story is just sometimes when you were that focused on the platform, the big moments that we miss the small ones.
• 24:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think God's in the small moments.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I have to argue though with that in that
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you miss it?
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you miss it in the moment?
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, maybe, but you know, you're not for Pete's sake.
• 24:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not Erwin McManus, you know, that's getting all, you know, I mean, Erwin McManus, who did that come from?
• 25:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: That made me sound brilliant.
• 25:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I mean, you know, I'm just talking these big sea loads.
• 25:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not Timothy Keller for Pete's sake that just knew what revelation said about that, but I'm just saying,
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you miss it because in the long run you learned from that you're now teaching that so I you know it's funny I've read I did a master class well with queezus I know I bought the Steve Martin master class where he talks about joke writing
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he says, it's absolutely in everything.
• 25:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's every moment of every day.
• 25:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the person that just looks for the funny in everyone walking around them, right?
• 25:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then Nora Efron said it best.
• 25:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything is copy.
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everything is copy.
• 25:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's so good.
• 25:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right?
• 25:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that moment, the hose that's hilarious, right?
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you found the copy in that.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So,
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think in the moment you might have missed the point, but you're just human, and I appreciate the telling of it.
• 26:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I learned from it.
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just love that kind of stuff, but tell me about the draft through confession.
• 26:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay, well, there's really this isn't as deep or as meaningful of a story other than I just, I don't want any of us to lose listeners over this, and I want to be controversial, but I need to share with you what I share in the book.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to admit something I like Arby's.
• 26:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's okay, that's got the mates.
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's okay.
• 26:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And don't wish they would change that slogan and lie to the fact that they have horsey sauce.
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what meat.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Horsey sauce is now available in the grocery stores and my parents own it.
• 26:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: They own a bottle of horsey sauce.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Gosh, I love the horseies.
• 26:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the horsey sauce, the red one.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: horsey sauce is the red one and then arby sauce is the horse radish okay got it got it and so I just talk about the book a little bit about how I mean I only go to arby's like I treat it like I've killed someone like I go to back alleys when no one's with me late at night drive through through the trash away you know dig a hole throw it away turn off the location device on my phone
• 27:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: But that's kind of, so I talk a little bit about that.
• 27:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, I can't even remember, I'm sure there's a point, but I think the gist of it is there's a lot of things that we do that we're not proud of that we're trying to hide and that you know what?
• 27:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: God sees all that we're doing.
• 27:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and he wants, we're not hiding anything from God.
• 27:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think in that chapter, I get into identity a lot.
• 27:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know, like, I don't know about you most about, if I have to read one more stinkin' book about identity, yet at the same time,
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's such an important thing because if you know your identity, if you know that the things that you do day in a day out, they matter, but they don't necessarily always define you.
• 27:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I talk about my son, JB, that we adopted from foster care.
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: We went to the courthouse, right, and the day that we adopted him, they gave us a new birth certificate.
• 27:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And his old one was no longer valid.
• 27:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, this new one I gave to us is under seal, great, and we left.
• 28:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And since that time, like, obviously he's done things we don't approve of.
• 28:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's been a jerky at Disney before, and he's been defiant all these things.
• 28:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: But not one time if we gone back to the safe and pulled out the old verse certificate, right?
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, because like, his identity is sealed now as a yann-off.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think if we understood that concept with the Lord that we are adopted into his family and that our identity is not dictated, it's not defined by our behavior.
• 28:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then I think it's a game changer.
• 28:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think so many times we're slinking around and we're in dark alleys and we're afraid to admit certain things.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not saying that we can don't the things that are not of God.
• 28:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: But at a minimum, let's acknowledge the fact that they exist.
• 28:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get community around that.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's find ways to heal ourselves.
• 28:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also know that God's big enough, that He loves us no matter what.
• 28:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're adopted into His family.
• 28:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing takes that away.
• 28:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And knowing that, then we can live differently each day.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the Lord can still use us in the midst of that.
• 29:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that chapter, it kind of stems out of a whole idea of just our identity matters.
• 29:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I try to approach it from a funny way, but also that if we know who we are in Christ, if we know we are forgiven, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, like that he is for us.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he is with us that all the things that we want to hide in Sweetway and discount ourselves, say we're not good enough.
• 29:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Point to someone else and say they're better.
• 29:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: They could do this.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we don't have to be that way because the Lord is for us.
• 29:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he will use us in mighty ways.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Identity is a big one.
• 29:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is.
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love the analogy of that.
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's that your ours now.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's under seal.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not going to change, right?
• 29:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The old is passed away.
• 29:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You did say if I have to read another book on identity and I'm right there with you.
• 29:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, the last thing you want to do is a writer is say to your editor, hey, I have an idea for a book.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's on our identity.
• 29:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 29:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: But yet why do you think it is?
• 29:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: that it's been written about so much, it's such an important topic, both.
• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But Austin, women don't walk in it.
• 30:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're not getting married.
• 30:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I watch it with my daughter.
• 30:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know you, I mean, obviously you have a beautiful daughter too, but I watch my daughter.
• 30:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just, I think of all the things that I've prayed over her for her life.
• 30:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I pray for safety, I pray for all things.
• 30:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, a godly husband someday.
• 30:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: But like, really, I want the most for her is identity.
• 30:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want her to be able to walk in the truth of who she is that she is a child of God, because I know
• 30:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: that it impacts how we live so much.
• 30:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's why people write on identity because I think if you can get it through your head, who you really are and who's you really are that you will live differently.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Your days will be comprised of things completely different than if you are trying to prove something to yourself or prove something to someone else or feel good enough or act good enough.
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we spend so much margin trying
• 30:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: to show up and be good enough and if we could understand that we are already good enough because of who's we are like it just changes how your days are set out and so i think for my daughter i don't know i don't know why we miss it i miss it all the time after remind myself all the time i have to be like okay nobody's going back to the safe to get my old birth certificate like there's a new and it is sealed
• 31:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: But man, I pray that over my daughter, I might get that right.
• 31:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't miss that one.
• 31:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, who and who's you are so that you can go do big things for the Lord and you don't spend your life trying to prove something that someone's something wrong, that someone said and sixth grade or maybe something that I inadvertently said to her or what the enemy speaking to her or our culture who's out there speaking that you have to be thin and perfect and beautiful and play the trombone and the fur, you know, the lead and
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: air quote right colleges like stop letting everything else define what makes you good enough and okay because it's never it's never going to be enough if it's outside God and I think that
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: culturally speaking, playing the trombone would probably be something that the culture would maybe frown on.
• 32:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was trying to just say, be cultured, and I'm so on a culture, I couldn't think of a way to say.
• 32:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a lot about you.
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It says a lot about you, actually.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It says even more about your daughter, that at one point you said to her, maybe, hey, you should try the trombone.
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like the biggest jock ever, and I, by the way, was in the marching band, she would be dying at this conversation, because she's like on every sports team, and I was in the band, and she's like, my husband always told our kids, well, you can be in a band, but don't be in the band.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's very true.
• 32:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that women a lot of times think, okay, if I learn all about my identity, how do I walk that out?
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do I do?
• 32:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are the steps to that?
• 32:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's really about nothing.
• 32:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you get to stop.
• 32:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point of walking in your identity.
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get to stop performing.
• 33:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know you talked a little bit about that, you know, for a long time wanting the praise of man versus the praise of God, and that's the whole point of identity.
• 33:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get to stop.
• 33:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get to just stop trying to prove, stop trying to impress, stop trying to win, stop trying, you know, and God just does it for you, right?
• 33:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not taking the selfies, people.
• 33:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you don't have to prove your worth and your value.
• 33:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: But yes, I mean, if you knew your identity, I think it's actually like a deep breath of like, oh, like exhaling versus that running after.
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I'm with you on that one.
• 33:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's a prayer for myself, but really for my kids too, that they know their identity.
• 33:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 33:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything looks good.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was trying to tell David, I wish you could have seen me just now.
• 33:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I went just like this to David.
• 33:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does that mean?
• 33:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's she's making some weird.
• 33:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't know.
• 33:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cynthia, I'm gonna tell you something.
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Please, David Redky, and I have been married 32 years.
• 34:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we can look at each other and know what the other's thinking.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if we, in private, like I just tried to do, throw up a hand signal.
• 34:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have a clue what the other one is saying.
• 34:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
• 34:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's over there.
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's over there like flushing a toilet somewhere, something thinking about something.
• 34:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: David will look at me and go like this.
• 34:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like that means no, to David it means tell people to share this live When I'm when I'm on a live he'll say go he'll go like this tell people to share it That's a stripper new and dollar bills.
• 34:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's dollar
• 34:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we are the fun live.
• 34:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well, everybody.
• 34:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is right here.
• 34:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing this and that means get this first Instagram story.
• 34:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Get this for an Instagram story.
• 34:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, I can tag Cynthia in it and we can talk about Instagram.
• 34:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought there was a crawler going across the body.
• 34:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, there's not a crawler.
• 34:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: David, this isn't CNN for Pete's sake.
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I thought it's a crawler.
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, what we're taking your crawler next.
• 34:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 35:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about one chapter in particular that.
• 35:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: you referred to as the great intermission in the middle of your book.
• 35:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: As if it's just kind of a silly little chapter, it's called a faith-fixer upper.
• 35:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I loved that chapter.
• 35:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's one of the many sentences that one me over in your writing, okay?
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Little things are the scaffolding of a meaningful life is a precious sentence.
• 35:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: easy to close your eyes and imagine that sentence.
• 35:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I loved it.
• 35:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about that.
• 35:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And, of course, what you want to say about that chapter, a faith fixer upper, you go on to say that, what is it?
• 35:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: What did I love?
• 35:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We are all building the house we live in.
• 35:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, come on.
• 35:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's good stuff.
• 35:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So walk us through that.
• 35:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to know about your obsession with joy at a games.
• 35:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't personally have one.
• 36:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: at all.
• 36:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, if you were ever on fix or upper, I'll probably wouldn't even watch it.
• 36:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have nothing to do with it.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: David, I wouldn't.
• 36:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: In any body that can do what they do, I don't trust them.
• 36:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't trust that kind of talent.
• 36:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't trust that kind of talent.
• 36:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think they sold her sold at the devil or something.
• 36:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think they're witches and ought to be burned.
• 36:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Heresy.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Heresy.
• 36:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: But talk to us about that chapter because I loved it.
• 36:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, thank you.
• 36:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 36:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, I just told, and I'll make this really quick on the illustration.
• 36:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I heard this incredible sermon illustration about a guy who was going to retire.
• 36:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's a custom home builder.
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when he went to retire, the boss is like, I need you to do one more house and he was so mad about it.
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: But he ended up doing it.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: But he just did a cheap job of it because he was ready to retire.
• 36:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And at the very end, the boss hands in the keys and said this house is actually for you.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: We wanted to do this for you and that moment of like, oh man, I would have given it my best had I had known, right?
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And instead he'd use cheaper labor and contractors and materials.
• 36:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I talk about just how that's kind of how it is in our own lives.
• 37:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like you guys, we're building the house we live in every single day with the decisions we make.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what sense is freaking out at the school?
• 37:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: What we say to the coach when our kid gets pulled out the key moment?
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: How we spend our money?
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: How we speak about our spouse?
• 37:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we're these little tiny things are the scaffolding of the houses we live in.
• 37:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know this because I built, I feel like in my life, two houses.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: looked pretty good on the outside and there were some great components, you know, I've married my husband and we've been married 25 years and we had some kids and some great things came about.
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also it was a lot of people pleasing and it was a lot of wanting to define success or defining success by the way, culture to find success, a lot of achievement for the sake of achievement.
• 37:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: wasn't really a house that was worthy of living in metaphorically speaking and then i feel like you hit your forties you can weigh in on this too and tell me if you agree but somewhere in your forties maybe mid forties i don't know you start realizing like you know what i'm not sure all that stuff matters anymore especially you get in your 50s
• 38:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think I've re-built a house and the second house was one that's actually worth living in.
• 38:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's one where I stop caring so much about what other people think, I care what God thinks.
• 38:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't have to be the most popular and I don't have to have the biggest platform.
• 38:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't have to write the best book out there, although I hope I wrote a good one.
• 38:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't have to be all things to all people, right, because I know that I am all things to him to the Lord, the one that matters, and so it's funny because I think about these small pivots, these small changes things from what I do every day for a living, really, to just the way that I try to treat people, the way that I raise my kids.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: They built a different house and both houses look the same from the outside, but man, they were so different on the inside and I guess my encouragement would be this we had our foundation fix out and if you've had the joy of that it's a real pleasure to spend $20,000 on something no one sees but I think about that all the time and I think about how no one has ever
• 39:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Come by and be like, hey, you're foundation's nice.
• 39:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nobody's giving us praise or out of boys.
• 39:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But really, if we have great hardwood floors and beautiful custom curtains, it doesn't matter if our foundation isn't solid.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And my first house, like it has some pretty components on the outside, but the foundation wasn't solid.
• 39:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: My second house, like I feel like the foundation's better, we're on better ground, we're on the Lord's ground, and it's not perfect, man, we're screwing it up daily, I nearly yelled at the guy on the tram the other night, so let's calm that down.
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, every day you have a decision, like, what matters?
• 39:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to focus on?
• 39:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Who gets the priority?
• 39:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: What gets the priority?
• 39:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it what's urgent at the moment?
• 39:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or is it what's eternal?
• 39:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I just feel like that's just a good reminder for myself and hopefully
• 39:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: that our lives are comprised of tiny moments of decisions, and are they God decisions, or are they just our life decisions?
• 40:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, what do you mean by, we're living in the middle?
• 40:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're living in the middle, what did I say?
• 40:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Who knows, well, somebody lost my train of thought.
• 40:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really tired.
• 40:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well,
• 40:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I read a, I didn't read, I watched a YouTube message not too long ago from a female pastor and not from Australia.
• 40:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love her.
• 40:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I felt Charlotte Gamble, I just love her when she speaks and she actually did an entire message of when the disciples got in the boat and they were in the middle of.
• 40:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: leaving from Jesus teaching to go into the next place that Jesus was teaching, and all that can happen when you're in the rocky middle, and so I was reminded of that on this chapter because you talked about a lot of times we are living in the middle, in the middle of the first house in the second house, and so I just wanted to ask, I don't know, it just kind of brought that back up in my mind and the importance of that, but I
• 40:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was nothing I loved better than the house that the man built and he was building his own home and really it's in all of these really small things like you just said it's the way you talk to the coach it's the way your kids here you fight with your spouse it's the way you and I also loved the reference of everything that's going to be beautiful and it's going to be built has to come after demolition.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we all want to go on and on and on about the scripture, you know, beauty for ashes.
• 41:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: He makes beautiful ashes, but are you okay with the fire?
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you okay with the destruction first?
• 41:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because if he's going to make beauty, it's going to come from some hard hits.
• 41:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to come from some, as you said, bring in ship, right?
• 41:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's time for the demolition.
• 41:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 41:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that is so important.
• 41:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: that's so good.
• 41:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love, I haven't heard that sermon, but I love that you're talking out that because really in the middle between the two places is where there was the tumultuous, right?
• 41:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: The hard stuff came along.
• 41:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that is the middle.
• 41:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people refer to as the messy middle.
• 41:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, that's when the refinement comes in.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's when the hard comes.
• 42:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's when you're like, are you even hearing me Lord?
• 42:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been praying this for so long.
• 42:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you even good?
• 42:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: How could you allow this to happen?
• 42:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like in those moments, like those are the refining moments.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know you've walked through some really hard.
• 42:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: We've talked about it before, have it we all.
• 42:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I will say on the other side of the hard, which I would not wish on anyone, some of the things that we've had to walk, I will say this.
• 42:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know the Lord differently, right?
• 42:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: You see a version of him, a side of him, you've never seen before, a kind, a compassionate,
• 42:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I do also learn some really tough lessons and I'm just so thankful that he doesn't if he did everything instantly, the way I wanted it done and the time I wanted it done, I would take credit for many of the things he did.
• 42:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
• 42:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 42:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when I weighed it out and I know it's his timing and I have to wait through it and have to struggle through it and suffer through it at the end.
• 42:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no denying that it's only him and so.
• 42:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's so good.
• 42:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
• 42:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was just one of the mini chapters that stood out to me.
• 42:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So again, I don't want to interview you.
• 43:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't, you know, I don't like that, but we're done.
• 43:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've had all I can take of Melissa Radke in one day.
• 43:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm kidding.
• 43:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I, Melissa Radke given you praise.
• 43:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know it must, as my mother would say, it must be so hard.
• 43:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I went on a note that when we started this off, I commented on her hair and I said, I like the color.
• 43:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: How did you ever see that?
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we discovered this color, what is this color?
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what this color is called, grown-out is what this color is called.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I've got a mole as we discussed, per other fatty.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think we're back to the shallow, we're back where we started the shallow, is where we do our best work, Melissa.
• 43:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is good work.
• 43:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's keeping it shall.
• 43:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so listen.
• 43:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to do one other thing after this one.
• 43:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to I'm going to thank you.
• 43:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to get there.
• 43:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: But we're going to do a short podcast.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be part of the free stuff.
• 43:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get a few free order to book.
• 43:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get, I don't know.
• 43:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Plus, I don't know.
• 43:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get like a chapter two of the book or something.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or maybe the free audio or some discussion questions.
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't remember if I was really good at the PR side.
• 44:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, then I would know those things.
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't
• 44:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but we are going to give a little extra content.
• 44:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, you are sweet and you're willing to stay on a do another quick little short.
• 44:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah!
• 44:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, absolutely.
• 44:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you look at my social, you will see you'll have a link where you can put in an order number if you ordered a book and get some of the free content and hermaless.
• 44:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I talk about something else in on-sensical.
• 44:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Probably that I don't wash my face and we always have to cover that.
• 44:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go and work together.
• 44:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's disgusting.
• 44:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she didn't even wash it after Disney last night.
• 44:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just kidding, she did once a month where I watched it.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mickey Mouse Hemp tattoo.
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had to watch that off as much.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think even my crowd, the people who watched the Radke Show podcast and listened to it will absolutely love how did I miss this.
• 44:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I told David, I said, I want to share that on the Radke Show because they will fall in love with you.
• 44:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: The only thing better than you and the only thing better than me is me and you.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 45:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Agreed.
• 45:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: When we start our new show which there's no plan, everyone.
• 45:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I still vote for what are we doing here is the title and we're just going to address things that are going on in culture and we're going to say what are we doing here that's my but are you here's the thing that are you willing.
• 45:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Could we would we dare go deep like are we talking like we're gonna keep it shallow like what is Bradley Cooper Doing to his face which, by the way, what the heck is he doing to his face, but are are we going like ice what do we think of it
• 45:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh no, we're trying that one political and we're going to talk about Bradley Cooper's face, but then we're also going to go back to identity and say, Bradley, you're enough.
• 45:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: You just do this, Bradley.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bradley, you were a word before.
• 45:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I may, I'd be the first to say he was plenty because I, he was, because I don't want to go ice.
• 45:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do we think?
• 45:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 46:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't want to go political.
• 46:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not fun and it makes me break out in halves.
• 46:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Say, and I'm not that smart.
• 46:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Me neither.
• 46:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can talk about politics for exactly 27 seconds.
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all you're going to get out of me.
• 46:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Great.
• 46:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, all right.
• 46:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, our news show will be a smashing success when we never start it.
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: But hey, and all seriousness.
• 46:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for doing this.
• 46:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're always such a great cheerleader.
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're always, I'll do it.
• 46:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or at least your husband says she'll do it.
• 46:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I appreciate that.
• 46:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will do it.
• 46:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am a good cheerleader because I
• 46:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think women are very capable and I think that you have such a gift.
• 46:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know women are going to Love this book.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is I think the best books are bathroom books and I'm talking about bubble bath books like
• 46:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Lay it after a hard day, draw yourself a bath, lay it in there with this book.
• 46:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just meaningful how you can it matters but it's so relatable and I know you've heard that before before before before but it's really really great and I just can't I just can't thank you enough for writing it.
• 47:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well thank you friend and guys before we wrap up you've heard me obsess over her book but I'm gonna say it again chicken fried women I just said it right didn't I?
• 47:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, as a sweet Lord, don't talk about that, but don't more.
• 47:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, good.
• 47:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so good.
• 47:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's hilarious.
• 47:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you love Melissa, you will love her, but because people say this to me all the time, and I think it's so true of you, too.
• 47:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I write like I speak.
• 47:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so if you read it and you know me, or you've heard me enough, you're like, oh, it sounds like you're talking, you know, like yourself.
• 47:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's what you do, too, Melissa so well.
• 47:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So everyone check it out.
• 47:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for being here.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's go do one more short podcast you ready.
• 47:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm ready.
• 47:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks, friend.
• 47:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bye.
• 47:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bye.
• 47:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Alright friends, and she, a treat, like she's such a gym.
• 47:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love her, she is hilarious, makes me laugh.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't forget to click on the podcast notes where we have a link for the freebies from my publisher, if you've bought a book, then man, jump on there and download the additional podcast I did with Melissa.
• 48:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can listen to that as well as other things, the digital copy of the book and some of the audiobook.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: So make sure you check that out.
• 48:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: You guys.
• 48:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for supporting this whole few weeks where we have talked about my book.
• 48:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for helping launch it.
• 48:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for every single one of you that ordered it.
• 48:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And with anything, thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.
• 48:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're the very best.