Latest / Normally / Normally Podcast: Ask Us Anything | Career, Family, and Community

Transcript

Normally Podcast: Ask Us Anything | Career, Family, and Community · Normally

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, you're a back on the show with normal,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: which takes full when these gets weird. And during the
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: holidays we were doing some ask us anything, and you
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: guys have been kind enough to contribute questions to us.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: So let's kick it off with whatever we got under
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the hood here.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We have a lot of good ones.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Mary Catherine, We're gonna start with what advice do you
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: have for young women who want to get married, have kids,
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: be a pretty involved mom without completely throwing their career
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: prospects away. I really feel like we get this a lot,
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: and I do think it's so important to address because
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: people are worried about this.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: They want both and they don't understand.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: They're told they can't have both by a lot of people,
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: and they're looking to us to tell them that they
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: can have both.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: And I'm here to say you can.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: You absolutely can getting married, having kids, being an involved
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: mom should not mean you don't get to have a career,
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: and anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Does it mean that you will, you know, one hundred percent,
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: be at every single thing that you always.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Want to be at for both your career and your kids.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: No, you may have to miss a thing or two,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: but getting most of it in both places is enough.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: And I'm here to tell you you will make choices
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: and you will find the right balance and it's completely doable.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: What do you think, Yeah, I think the good news
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: is that, particularly post COVID, I always say that I
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: had a COVID era flexibility pre COVID that I created
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: yea for myself. But part of that, for both of us,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: was being intentional about making choices and taking gigs that
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: allowed for the flexibility for me to be with my kids.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: That was the plan. That was why I chose to
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: follow this path. It's why I didn't choose, for instance,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: to run and gun for my own primetime show or
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: something right, that was not the object. The object was
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: to be in my kids' lives and to be around
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: and available sometimes at odd hours where a nine to
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: five job wouldn't work for me. And as a result,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: there are opportunities I didn't take. There's money I didn't take.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: There's flexibility I took instead of money. There's healthcare situations
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: that had to be a little more patched together because
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I was taking gigs that you take that. So that's
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: my experience in the Bombacare Mountain Market Woo. So there
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: are sacrifices, yes, but my eye was on the ball,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and the ball was I want to spend time with
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: my kids, so I think, and I'm not the most
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: intentional person in the world, you may have noticed, Carol,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But on this front, I think I had in mind
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that this is what's important to me, and this is
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: what's not as important to me. And knowing that and
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: being able to be confident and what's important to you,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: that's half the battle.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll also add I feel like there's a lot
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: of rigid thinking about being with your kids. Like so
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: a lot of people will say, you know, when you're
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: with your kids, don't even look at your phone. Well no,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I pick up my kids from school, you know, at
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: three o'clock every day, and I'm still so I do
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: have to look at my phone, and I'm sorry, Like
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I don't get to just just log off and be
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: completely with my kids. I pick them up every single day.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: I have the conversations that you can only have on
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: the drive home from school, that they suddenly are open
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: up and talk to you about stuff. I'm there, I'm
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: present as much as I can. I do avoid the phone.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: But look, if I have if I'm on a deadline
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: or if my editors sending me something or whatever, I
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: am going to be on my phone a little bit,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: like give yourself a little grace and space to do
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: both things sometimes.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I try to model good behavior in that way,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: and I'm not always great at it. Yeah, but I
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: would say I there's rigidity from everyone in the online
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: conversation about this and in the discourse about this that
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I think crowds out how many more choices we have
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: exactly than we used to. My mother didn't have half
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: the choices I have available to her, and so or
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the resources or just in like like having groceries delivered,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: for instance, which is a more expensive way of doing it,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: but if you need it, you can do it. Like
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: there's all these things that she didn't have at her disposal,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: And I look back at her and I go, how
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: is she like running errands every Yeah? How was she
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: getting anything done?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: And didn't have cell phones?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm kind of amazed by all that she did
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: get done back then. And of course my dad was
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: similarly supportive as our husbands are, so that was.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: A huge That's another thing.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Marry the right person who will support you in your
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: decisions and be there for you and have you know,
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: some shared responsibilities in the home. I've talked about this before.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: We are fairly heteronormative. If something breaks, so he has
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: to fix it. Like that, I followed all the laundry.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Like we do kind of fall into the very typical
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: women in female and male roles. But we do both
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: have responsibilities and we both participate in parenting for example.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: That's something that we do together.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The other form of practical advice I would give
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: is if you do want to get married and have kids,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: be clear about that in your own mind and with
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: potential partners, and don't hang around for six years engaged
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: or living together or whatever the thing is. If you
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: want that to be your path, make it clear and
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: either what do they say, fish or cup bait?
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: That's right, pooper, get off the pot Tay said it
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: the nice way. So that brings us to our next question,
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: which actually fits very well with the end of that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Where can we hear mkh uncensored? I want to hear
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: full potty mouth, but it ain't going to be on
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: cable or podcasts apparently.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I can get pretty bad. I must canes.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: I've never heard. You're always like very non cursy.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Not in my house, not in my house. And I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: don't think I will do it publicly because it's it's
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: bad form and I should be a better, more polite
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Southern lady, and I shouldn't.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I see you as that polite Southern lady like our
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: friend Bethany Mendel, Like she curses, she curses, you know
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: in her everyday life.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: You do not curse, you know her sometimes?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Well, I again, I do, but not on air. And
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: if you really want to see it, you'll have to
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: catch me at a sports bar watching a dog's game.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, but.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: The dogs have been winning, so I know you're not
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: even cursing at the TV screen.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Come on, that's true. But if you were to find
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: me out of line in public, that's where it would be.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Can you too, please host a party? Women are desperate
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: for connections with like minded women, and all of your
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: listeners would become best friends.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I love that. That's so fun.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: I used to do that for my blog. I used
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: to have, like, you know, people who read me. We'd
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: have like parties and people did become friends and get
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: married and all kinds.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Of stuff through those meetups.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: I'd love to do that. Actually I don't know where
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: where would we do that. It couldn't be like in DC, right,
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, and I don't. I mean, I
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: pitched South Florida, But.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: I also just don't think it would be here either.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Where Where would that be?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Like I like the idea, let's sprainstorm it a little bit.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Also a thing that I think, I think this uh,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: this listener is correct that people are longing for connections.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: And one of the things that I should probably make
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: a New Year's resolution is that I'm not great at hosting.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a nervous hoster when it comes to
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: dinner parties or even just having people over casually. I
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: get nervous. I get insecure about what I'm offering and
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: is my cheese good enough?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I hear you, I hear you.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: And so I need to get better about that, because
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like I don't go to other people's houses
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: and get mad about what cheese they offer me, like
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: like if they're not judging me, they're my friends, Like
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: they could come in, don't be fine. So I'm going
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to try to get better about offering that part of
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: connection to other people as well.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that. I'm look, I'm also a nervous hoster.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Actually not so much in my house, but when I
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: have to have parties or like when I had book
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: launch parties or kids barb butt mitzvahs. I'm always like
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: people having fun. I just can't tell. So that kind
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: of stuff makes me nervous. But yeah, you're right, there
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: are friends they're not going to care well.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And the fact is when you get a bunch of
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: cool people together, they.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Have fun, right, It's so obvious. And our friends are
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: cool people and our listeners are cool people. So yeah,
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I think, you know, we'll have to figure out a way.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Maybe it'll be around some other big event, maybe like
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the next you know, GOP convention or something.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: That doesn't sound that fun actually, but something something, some
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: kind of big something. Maybe we'll have a wet together
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: normally listener party and you know that'll be the.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: That'll be what we do.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I like it all right.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: Speaking of your cheese, actually, can you DM me the
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: pimento cheese recipe from Hurricane ninety three on Twitter?
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Why do you leave.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: This poor listener hanging I just don't understand the pimento cheese.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Mkay. The people want should look it's very simple. I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: just you know what I need to do. I need
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: to text my dad right now and be like, is
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: this public? Can I just make this public?
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: And I feel like you said this a year ago.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I know, but this is the problem with my my
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: brain dysfunction is that once I once those words come
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: out of my mouth, I will forget they came out
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: of my mouth and I will not follow up. But listen,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna write it down right now.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, mister hammer, can this be public.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: About the pimento cheese?
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Okay? All right?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I mean really it's very simple. It's that's the thing
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: about all the fancy pimento cheeses. You'll need all that.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: You just need like you seed the cheese and the
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: mayonnaise and basically red pepper flakes and that's that's that's
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: about it, folks. That's it. Yeah. Well, I mean, you
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: know in the pimento obviously.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: Hurricane ninety three. I hope you're listening and there you
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: have it. But you know, we'll find out if I'm caking.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna work on this. I'm gonna work on this,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: all right?
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Do we do a serious one? Sure?
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: No more pimento, here we go. Why do you think
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: j Evans is incapable of distancing himself from Groiper's or
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: even taking seriously anti Semitism on the right.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I have been thinking.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: About this a lot, and I really like Jadvance. I
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: liked him before he became vice president. I still like
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: him today. But he's whiffing on this, and he's missing
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: the opportunity to define himself as the kind of man
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: who won't stand for.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: This kind of thing. And I get it.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: I get that there's a lot of difficult angles to this.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: He's very close friends with Tucker Crelson. I have admitted
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: on here that I delayed saying anything about Tucker until
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: it got really bad because I like Tucker Crelson.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: I liked him. I used to go on his show.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: We were friendly, we used to text, and so I
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: gave him the benefit of the doubt until it was
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: impossible to give him any more benefit of the doubt.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: And that's where J. D Van has to be. The
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: time for this has long passed. There's no denying what
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: this is anymore. And I'd love to see J. D
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Vance take a stand. I think it would be good
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: for him. I think he thinks he would lose who's
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: some number of followers or you know, people who would
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: vote for him.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not so sure. I think he would gain people.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: I think people long for sanity and normalcy, and he
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: could deliver that to them.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Also, leadership is important. Yeah, you know, even if you
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: think there's a segment of people who will not come
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: with you right on these very sane, decent person sentiments, yep,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: you can help by leading. Yeah. And He's in particular,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: is a very effective communicator who has relationships with people
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: who are listened to by younger people on the Groper
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: right or the Internet right, and could actually influence how
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: people come to their conclusions about this. So that's the
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: thing that he should do. It's an opportunity I think.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Also on other fronts. You know, I remember when the
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Signal Chat was publicized by Jeffrey Goldberg at The Atlantic
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: because he had been mistakenly added to the Signal chat.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: What struck me is just how hesitant JD. Vance was
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: about American force because even in the case of American
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: targets being hit and these you know, very obviously places
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: that we should have control over being hit by Uji's
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: He was like, should we be up to this? So
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: there are things that concern me about his ideology that
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I just don't agree with, and I don't I think
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: that Trump is more willing to make those calls and
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: would be concerned about him. And I think Left and
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Right welcome to the horseshoe when it comes to young people.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: The establishments of both parties are trying to figure out
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: how they keep young people in and they see the
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: polling on young people turning against Israel to some extent
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: being a little more isolationist and in fact sometimes openly
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: anti Semitic, and they don't know how to keep that
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: under the tent without sort of winking at it. And
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to your point, Carol, I think that's not only morally wrong,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: but probably tactically strategically wrong in the end, because the
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Normies outnumber these folks.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: The Normi's out number them.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Concern, of course, is that that fringe wing will keep
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: growing and the Normies will be out numbered.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: The thing about Israel.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Which is why I think that leadership is important from
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: someone who's a really good communicator.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: For sure, and The thing about Israel is that it's
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: not about Israel. It's really not like if you want
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: to cut you know, all funding to all you know,
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: all foreign aid to all countries, go ahead, run on that,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: discuss that.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Don't wink at it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Don't like pretend you're talking about something else, like I actually,
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: I again, I don't. I think a lot of people
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: ascribe motives to JD. Vance that maybe he doesn't have.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: And I'm talking about the groypers see him as as
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: a fellow traveler, like oh, he's going to dump his wife,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: his Indian wife and marry you know, Charlie Kirk's widow.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Kind of insanity online.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I know. But the thing is, until I hear it
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: from him, I don't know what he stands for.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: And this whole idea of like, oh, people are just
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: attacking Tucker because they want they hate JD's foreign policy.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: And my comment to that is, is JD's foreign policy
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: different than Donald Trump's foreign policy?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: And if so, does the president know that his vice
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: president's foreign policy is different than his own? I feel
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: like this is an important conversation to have.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: Why are we having it in like whispers on the
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: internet instead of out loud, you know, everywhere.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to continue to give JD.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: The benefit of the doubt, and I'm going to see
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: where this goes. But yeah, I don't love how quiet
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: he's been and how muted his criticism has been. And
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: I get that he doesn't want to get caught in
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: the trap that mainstream media does set for Republicans to
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: constantly be denouncing things.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that. I get it.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: You don't have to be denouncing everything all the time.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: But this is becoming something that you ma, you want
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: to denounced in the in the near future, cry it
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: out method for or against if for at what age?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Oh this is this is very controvery last one thought,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I thought.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I really, I I don't know. All right, let's
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: hear it.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: So I am after four kids, I have always been,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I think modified cry it out so I won't leave
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: them in perpetuity. Yeah, but I will do a timer
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: for a few minutes to see if my children starting
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: it about I want to say, like five ish months. Okay,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: can learn a little bit to put themselves to sleep,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: to self soothe a little bit. Right now. There are
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: some people on the other end of the spectrum who
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: think this is like just monstrous behavior. Really okay, yes,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: and that my children like will not we'll have attachment
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: issues and all it. It's like, okay, I don't know.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I keep them in my room till a four and
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: a half months old. I feel like we're pretty attached.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: You're attached. I feel like you're attached.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I do think I'm on the side that
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: thinks sleep hygiene, like decent sleep patterns and teaching them
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: are pretty good for both mom and baby, and particularly
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go insane during the first year
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: of my child's life because that doesn't make me a
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: great parent for anyone, right, So yeah, I do a
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: little bit of like co sleeping and bassinette in my
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: room for four or five months, and then I do
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: a modified version of teaching them to sleep on their own.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: So here's my question. Did you read any parenting books?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Not really. I read Expecting Better About Pregnancy because I
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: really appreciated Emily Ooster's approach to treating pregnant women like
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: adults who can make decisions based on rational risk analysis.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: And then after that I did on my third and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: fourth kids have to brush up on sleep stuff, really,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: and they were different kinds of kids, and that's what
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: The kid that different throws you off completely. Avands go
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: out the window, and.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: I think my Force was probably my worst sleeper. But
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: they've all been pretty decent, which is why I have
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: four kids name right and so on. The last ones
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I did taking care of Babies program a little bit
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: to try to refresh my memory. She is a She's
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: an Instagram influencer taking care of c A r A babies,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: and I find her to be responsible, middle of the
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: road maternal force who has a lot of experience and
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: just has practical tips for how you can get your
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: get your sanity back posts.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: I only read Happiest Baby on the Block, and the
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: only thing I remember about it is start how you
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: want to go on, which is something that I live
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: by completely. Like I think a lot of people expect
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: their kids to change or they oh, Bill garad of
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: this and I won't have to do this anymore. I think,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: you know, as the great philosopher Jay Z said, you
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: are who you are player, and you could try to change,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: but that's just the top layer. You was who you
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: was when you got here. You was who you was
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: when you got here, and I think my kids just
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: stayed that way. I don't think we ever did cry
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: it out. We the middle child is our only was
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: our only bad sleeper, and maybe we'd pause before we'd
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: go into the room. I remember some other French parenting
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: guide that I maybe skimmed had a le pause thing
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: where you just wait a second and see if they
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: calm down on their own. Maybe we do that, I
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: don't remember ever, just like letting them cry it out.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I guess I just I didn't read enough parenting books
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: or enough parenting information. There was not you know, was
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: the era before Instagram, you know, influencing, So I didn't
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: really have the guidelines of what I was supposed to do,
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: and we just we did our.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Best, you know.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I sound like such an old lady.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: Wow, Like my god, there's really there really is something
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: to taking a beat right just just like okay, like not,
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: because I do think you'll drive yourself pretty crazy if
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: every single whimper which does happen, Like there have been
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: times in my parenting journey when I was anxious and
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: I had the baby right next to me, and every
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: single thing I was up and like oh, and I
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: realized that that was not a healthy loop for me
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: to be in, and it wasn't help for me or
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: for the kid totally, and so I had to kind
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: of work myself out of that doing some modified behaviors.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: So all right, I mean I like that question.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: I think that that's the kind of thing that you
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: just have to kind of figure out for yourself what
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: works best for your family. But I love that the
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: sharing of information, that's what parenting supposed to be, like,
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I saw a funny clip the other day that was
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: like Sam Altman the chat, Yeah, the open opening. I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't know how anyone had a baby
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: before AI and it's like, well, for a long time,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: we've done that.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Even before Google people had babies. I heard.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: It's like welcome to natural selections. Sir, Like, yeah, all.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: Right, well one friends, Yeah, I talk to your friends
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: about it for sure.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: We'll do one more question.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Okay, besides moving, what is your advice for normal, sane
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: families who are trying to raise kids in New York City?
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh, besides moving.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: Besides moving, Look, I get moving as hard and all
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: of that.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: I really do.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: I understand that it's not possible for some people but
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: it has to.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Be considered, is what I would just say.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Maybe you don't you can't move like to Florida or something,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: but maybe you move to Long Island. Maybe that's the
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: solution or the compromise that you make to keep a sane.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Childhood for your kids.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: If not, I would say, find the enclaves in New
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: York City that are more sane. My part of South Brooklyn,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: basically all of the neighborhoods south of, like Park Slope,
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: are fairly sane and just more normal, more places where
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: you won't see the kind of insanity that you'll see.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: And what I love large to consider the transplant neighborhoods
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: of Northern Brooklyn.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I live in kind of a I'm
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: in the mid Atlantic, I'm near DC, but not in
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: it sort of medium level of issues with weirdness, certainly
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: in the school system, the public school system, and that's
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: what that's one of the things that's so sad about
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: the public school systems and the teachers' unions and all
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: the weirdos taking over, is that you've stolen normal from
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: the Norman We could have had normal, We used to
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: have normal, And there's been a concerted effort to make
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: that not the norm anymore. So one of the things
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I do is that most of the things we do
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: have a faith component, because I find that extracurricular activities
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: that are explicitly religious are what normy was in the.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: Nineties, so true accepting Judaism, well, and this is the
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: problem right in Christianity that works and it does not
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: work as well.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: You guys are others, and I envy you, But yeah,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I put my kids and stuff that feels very old
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: school because it's explicitly religious, but feels very old school.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Feels kind of like nineteen ninety five to two thousand and.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Two, so those were the glory days.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: So that's one of the ways. And I also we
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: make sure that not make sure, but we are surrounded
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: by a lot of military families as well, so that's
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: a much more normal demographic.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: I would say that find your people, find the people
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: who think like you. Even if you guys are well
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: out numbered, at least you'll have each other for sanity.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: At least you'll be able to look at each other
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: and say, this is crazy, right, what's going on is crazy?
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Like not sweeping up homeless encampments and letting them.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Grow and fester.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: That's crazy, right, Okay, good. I just needed a reality
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: check that this wasn't a normal thing to do. That's
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: the want to raise your kids. If you have to
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: raise your kids somewhere that people largely disagree with you,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: find the people that do agree with you and form.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Your own community.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: And that's that's really the only thing you can do.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Move to Staten Island. I mean, they're kind of still normal.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, good luck you guys. It's not easy.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: You gotta make anyse decisions. It's not easy.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: No, it's not easy. It's not easy. And I really
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: feel for the people who can't make a different decision.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: And I really really understand you, and I.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Think about you.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I root for you.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: I want things to improve for you.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us on this very special Ask Us
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Anything episode of Normally Normally airs Tuesdays and Thursdays, and
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: you can subscribe anywhere you get your podcasts. Get in
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: touch with us at normally theepot at gmail dot com.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Thanks for listening, and when things get weird, you act normally.