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Transcript

The DeLorean Cuck Chair And Other Terrible Ideas · In Moderation

• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: I told you about the guy that was a good one.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, I don't think I hit record fast enough to get the part where you said you have an empty sack.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we missed the sack part.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then let's just shut it down.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh good night, everybody.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for stopping by.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good night, everybody.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: DeLoreans, be kind to yourself to start.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, he's so afraid of not saying it again.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: That in a 10-second episode, he's gonna be like, DeLoreans came by.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: There were people that threatened my safety over this.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, no, they should have done that, but like the fact that it hit you so hard is the funny part about it.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: They send me pictures of my apartment door.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to make the most sense.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is you walking your dog, like I don't have a dog yet.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I took this picture in 2027.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's fucking great, man.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love I love this.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: I every day.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I also love that we went from the longest episode ever to now the shortest episode ever.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's over.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's done.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Every day that goes by, I'm like, there's a little bit more of these, like, yeah, I'm gonna buy a DeLorean.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do it.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna buy, I'm gonna take the I'm gonna go travel to fucking Nebraska wherever someone has one.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I'm sure.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna have to learn how to drive it back because I don't know how.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna have to either get it hauled or you're gonna have to learn how to drive manual.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's one here in Texas, by the way.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you you can come out to uh it's it's really not far from where I'm at.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that way I can show it to you, but not allow you to drive it because that's we as we've established, I can't allow you.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, I can't allow.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we took okay.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So Mike and I were talking about this, and I think we're at a gaming session.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: If I buy one, I can let him see it and maybe touch it, but not get into the car.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because as much as I'd love to, the bit is way funnier if I never let Mike, who loves Back to the Future, go into the DeLorean.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's I have to admit, it's a really good bit.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: I am the one who suffers here, but it's a really good bit.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you're suffering, you're gonna be laughing a little bit.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna be laughing as I'm watching, I'm watching you drive away as I sit in my DeLorean cuck chair.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm stopping and going because I don't know how to drive it, and you're just sitting there.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: Can we get a Dean seat?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like an extra DeLorean seat and make it the cuck chair that's like next to the DeLorean, and I just have to sit in it like a little DeLorean seat.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's second.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, damn it.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea how to drive this.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's watching you sputter along, ruining the engine.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that's when I get pulled over, and then I can talk to the cops about the DeLorean.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna drive the highway speed.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, maybe not recklessly on purpose.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do things with a car that get me pulled over.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's safe.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: So that I can talk about it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: I knew it was a shitty car.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: I knew this thing sucked and I'm sitting there, I'm strapped into the DeLorean cuck chair.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, let me hit! I can help you.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, it's too funny.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's too funny to not to go with the we don't let Mike in.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I when we go into a rant like this, I think about the people who send us messages like, you know, thank you because of you.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: I ate today.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I shouldn't like it.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: And they find out that and then this is what we do.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's, I mean, I was one of them too.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like it this is it's it's a mission that means a lot to me.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: I stay online because I want to help people to change their lives in the way that I did.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm imagining them first off being so excited that the three of us know each other because people love to find that out for some reason.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: And and then they get here and they're like, I can't wait to hear the wisdom.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: And the the long form, uh they they must be giving me the secret to life in this podcast.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: We talk about the DeLorean cuck chair.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: But do we do that, though?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Don't we kind of do that in a in a way?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because, okay, listen, hear me out, here, hear me out here, okay?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: We are on a space pebble, right?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Floating through nothingness, and like nothingness is expanding.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's a there's a whole comedy bit about nothingness is expanding.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't make any sense.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing makes sense.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: So this is kind of what we're doing.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like our podcast doesn't make sense either.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: So we kind of just embrace that ridiculousness of life, and that's kind of what people need, I think.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think I mean they also need like healthcare and that's our excuse, and we're sticking to it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: But they need a little bit of this as well, you know what I'm saying?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: In addition to that.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, I think this this may be a good segue into I I think what we could talk about today.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: So, uh about a month ago, I had put together a bunch of statistics from the podcast.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: I I've I've analyzed the transcripts of all the podcasts.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: We were actually the three of us were supposed to be together in Vegas.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but Rob got sick right before his flight was gonna take off, so it only ended up being you and me.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um so I flew on a toilet instead.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: He did fly on the toilet, he he gained a little bit of air because he pooped so hard.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I usually get sick after coming to America, not before, but oh well.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: My unfortunate mistake was being around children.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: My children, my nephew.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: My nephew, I don't I need to specify that.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's that could be a bad statement.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I well, I think the fact that you're uh you know adding to that then makes it feel like a bad statement.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't feel like it's a bad statement until you started saying something, and then it kind of does feel like a bad statement.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, yeah, I'm just around kids.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're at a party, there was kids there, something like that.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's initially what people would think.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: It was like just to clarify, I was at a party.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Look, I have to be careful because certainly watching for me to fuck up right now.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: So okay.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was around relatives and they had children.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, if those people are listening, we are about to brain rot the absolute hell out of them.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Because I've got a list of the most used words on the Inmoderation podcast.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: DeLorean.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: I so it's on there.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: Trust me.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's on there.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: What number is it?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: Is the question.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: It it is present.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um, okay.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: So let me pull this up really quick.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: I've got a list of the thousand most used words, and I don't know what this list is right here.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think we have a time to go through a thousand.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we're gonna do all of them.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: That would just be just us yelling the words each individually moving on.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the okay, so wait, what's what's do you have the average word count of every episode?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have the average word count of every episode, but I I'm excited.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: So when you filter out the words like you know, I and like and the and all that stuff, because those you know, we have uh tens of thousands of instances of.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um also I I don't know if my uh analytic thing was quite accurate.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: So this is a minimum.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: There is more of these words used.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Probably than I think we're at least this many.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: So the the number one used word is people or person.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: That just seems strange to me.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: Uh followed by food, followed by day, followed by video, followed by year, followed by and here's here's the the thing that really was interesting to me.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: Which one do you think was used more?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: Bean or DeLorean?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Early on Beans, but then DeLorean took over.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I gotta say, I gotta put DeLorean first.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I should say this is only the episodes that I have been on that I've used here.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta say DeLorean.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: DeLorean.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely DeLorean in that case.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Bean was used eleven hundred and sixty-three times.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of times.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of times.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: And Dean is number seven at 1156 times.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so they're they're right next to each other.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Bean and Dean.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now it's now we've gone over.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now we have to say it a few more times.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh the next most used word after DeLorean is Mike.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: It is my name.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's do we also have some mics on the show?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like other mics?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's like my only maybe.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but the word after that, my name is used more than the word moderation.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: That's pretty amazing.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: The word DeLorean is used more than the name of the show.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um that I think checks out.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: That I'm I'm cool with that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've prepared for that.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Followed by weight, health, and Liam.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: So our names, okay.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: So our names are are up there.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that kind of makes sense, but more than moderation is pretty fucking good.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: At 22, number 22 is Rob, and he's under the word calorie.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: So we're talking about calories more than we talk about Rob here.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um but I just want to write we uh the word calories used 638 times, whereas DeLorean is used almost double.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: So like again, I think we may be the top DeLorean podcast in the fitness rankings.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: This does.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: Also, possibly the top Mike podcast, potentially.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe, but like definitely DeLorean, and I think this really gives us some some like uh proof of that.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: This gives like we go to it and we're like, no, no, look how often we mention DeLoreans.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is far more important than anything else we do.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Can we be put into the DeLorean category, which I'm sure exists?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, can we put in be put in the DeLorean Hall of Fame?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Can we put in the DeLorean?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, and so there's like 1981 DeLorean DMC, and then there's cocaine right next to it.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's what's in the DeLorean Hall of Fame.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: That and drugs.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: I also have a ranking of how many times DeLorean was mentioned in an episode, and we've got a ranking for the most times uh DeLorean was mentioned in a podcast, and that is the uh episode 144 poop lettuce.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me guess how many times in the episode.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: You said it said it was like 1100 times, which means it's probably not a hundred, that's too many in an episode, but I'm gonna say sixty-nine.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: Good old base sixty-nine.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: It is sixty-nine times for the episode 144 Poop Lettuce and Shopping for a DeLorean mentioned 699.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking go.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: I am so good at this.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know how I translate this into anything else, but this fucking nailed it.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: I I've also got a list here.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so some of uh our longtime listeners should get professional help.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is not something you should be listening to long term.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like this is akin to radiation where you need to be wearing protective equipment.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: You maybe need to be in a room that's like separated from the podcast so that you can just like hear it through glass.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: But we have pitched a lot of products on this show.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I've I have a list of some of the uh the best ones here.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to just list some of these off and we're gonna see if we remember any of these.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: I probably I don't think I I'll remember like the nutrition bucket and a couple of them, but most of them I don't think I'm gonna remember.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: I some of these I'm like, I I didn't know what this is.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um this one was a product called horse cock.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_03: Do we want to guess what horsecock was?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um like okay, so was it a horse rooster combo?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Was it like horse and rooster?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's not an animal.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like what else is horse?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're feeling horse, like your throat's feeling horse?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I don't feel like that was it, right?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: The bit starts with misleading penis measurements and claims that measuring in millimeters can make your penis appear dramatically larger.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh so I guess we're selling a a supplement with a measuring thing on the back of it that's like if you measure your penis in millimeters, you can tell somebody it's bro, this is 12 millimeters.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if somebody just came to me with this, I'd be like, this is a great idea.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I came up with it.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And apparently we did.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: We also go on to talk about uh a proposed line of different products based on penis somatotypes with roughly 12 versions corresponding to different sites, and the product would have been called pea shred.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Bro, we are cooking.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: We are I'm already I am two in, and we're cooking.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: What this is these are great.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're both I mean, right off the bat, both are penis ones, which isn't super surprising, but like I guess we probably should diversify a little bit.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, you didn't tell us where penis ranked on the the list of words.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh I can certainly pull that up.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um let me check.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's obviously a mixed penis.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: Pull that up or pull that out.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I pulled it out.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: We have mentioned it apparently a hundred times, it is number two hundred and forty-nine.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's I'm disappointed in us.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's far too little.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: And uh 251 252 is is the word urine, which is used exactly as many times.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, was that that must have just been from fucking Mallory's episode where they're doing so much with pea and urine?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's fair.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: That must be the last episode where where we talked about urine for like 20 minutes.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well then yeah, with between those two things, that checks out, but I'm disappointed in our penis numbers.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, in more ways than one, but especially in that one.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Let's see, what else do we have on this list?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we've got the tank nuts.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: The tank nuts are dear near and dear to my heart.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: It was just these giant yeah, it was like truck nuts that were scaled up to an armored vehicle, right?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: They and they were so cumbersome that the vehicle may not be able to function because they're just that huge.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: We could 100% get people to at least buy this, buy this as like a gag if like a Spencer's gift sort of thing.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure we could get people to buy truck, not truck nuts, tank nuts.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: Which is 1200 pounds of solid steel.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Speaking of Mallory, I feel like she would have uh enjoyed this one.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: We had pitched the idea of selling a label known as Dave Approved.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: Do we remember this?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Dave Aspray?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Was that it's no, it wasn't Dave.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was just generic Dave.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we were talking like this.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: We were talking about like people put their Bobby approved and something approved on, and we were like, I just put Dave and I still remember this.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do Dave approved.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like how organic means nothing and USDA is basically useless.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like so you look at it, you're like, I don't know who Dave is, but like if he approves of it, it's probably good.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so you just put that on the label, it doesn't mean anything, it corresponds to.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: So coming back to this idea, is Dave the best?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is Dave the best name?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like there was Dave's killer bread, and then there was a whole thing with that.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like we should pick a different name.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: I like this idea.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I do I'm not sold on Dave.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: The idea was that it would be like an acronym, like D-A-V, and we'd have that stand for something, but then like the mascot is just because of the acronym, it would be Dave.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: But there could be a different name used in there.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need to do a different name.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: What's like a trust when you hear someone and you hear someone's name and you're like, yeah, no, you're a trusting person.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: What name?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: What's their name?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: That you immediately either like, yeah, that guy or gal or whoever.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Rob.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: The name I trust.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if anything, it's gonna be Mike, because I mean, look at how many times we've mentioned that guy.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that could have been in reprimand, too.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we don't know if that was positive or negative.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like, Mike, how could you forget to talk about DeLorean, Mike?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Mike, what were you doing, Mike?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what are you doing?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: Why didn't you mention DeLorean?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you know what I was mentioning instead?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: I was mentioning the inmoderation nutrition bucket that is mentioned in uh it looks like 12 episodes.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, 12 episodes.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I remember it.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: We came back to it so often.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we we always go back to the in moderation nutrition bucket, which is a PVC bucket with the inmoderation logo.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: Here's the one thing about it that I did not remember because there was apparently another factor to this that we don't bring.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: What did we forget about the nutrition bucket?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: So there is a premium version of this bucket that apparently pets your head while you're eating it from it.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: You pitch that.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember us pitching it, but I 100% know that you pitched that idea.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a little speaker.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: But there is a speaker on the side of it that calls you a good girl as you're eating, and it's pet.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: This is a mic thing.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so the premium version is like mic approved for sure because I know you're it works.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: There's a bucket muzzled concept involved in this thing as well.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, the the the analytics show that this is mentioned more often than just about everything here.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: Uh there's another one that it's just a supplement that turns your urine red.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I do this one.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: This one I remember.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I think this was a good idea?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember, but I remember thinking it was a great idea.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: The reason is because you know, you need that feedback.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's something that most people don't know is that mint has nothing to do with why toothpaste is effective.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: You can have unflavored toothpaste and it works just the same, but people like to have that tactile feedback of like my mouth feels clean and fresh.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: So if we were to sell something that changes the color of your urine.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Bro, this is so good.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's like those things that people put on their feet.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: You remember those things that like detoxified you through your feet and it just like changed colors, like those pads.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing, but with pee, with your no wonder we talk about urine so much.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: All right, now I'm coming back to understand why we're talking about urine.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: But listen, like you give it, and when you give it to them and they pee red, you're like, that's the toxins leaving your body, and they're like, Oh wow, this thing works great, bro.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is such a good idea.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's important to note that this product does not claim to solve or create or do anything other than change the color of your pee.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: We I think we could get like, you know how like supplements get around like what the FDA says you can't say, like they say it in a in a slightly different way that makes it so it's somehow legal.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like we could do that with this and make a killing.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: It like boosts your vitality.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what does that mean?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't fucking matter, but like it does that's it boosts your vitality through detoxifying blah blah blah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: Did you guys hear about that one guy who made like it was a protein bar with every legal additive added to it?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like and it was it was a it was a fear-mongering, like you know, all these like the bad bar or the killer bars.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: He basically made a protein bar with everything, all these things in it to say like to show how bad like protein bars could be or whatever.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was a odd, but you know, I guess they were trying to sh, you know, trying to show something show something.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to find the name of it here because Rob, did you not see this?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: This was like, yeah, it was a weird yeah, he was like, I don't think I've seen this, no?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, here's all the things.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, here's all the legal things I can put into a bar, and like, look how long the ingredients list is, and look how how it how all these things are legal for you for me to put into a food that you can eat.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: It was like that whole thing.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_03: Meanwhile, this thing would be entirely safe to eat.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it's it's not like having this would actually hurt.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Wasn't a lot of it just like vitamins and minerals?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they just added a fuck ton of vitamins and minerals to it.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: They added every artificial sweetener to it, which I must have tasted just awful.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I they can't imagine it tasted good.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: They've still got a website here.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh yeah, the the the killer protein bar is what it's called.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't know if can you purchase it?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: If we can purchase it, I can't imagine there's no way you can purchase it, right?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there's sold.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: It says it's sold out.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't yeah, that makes sense.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this is a lot of ingredients, but again, it's it's just like how certain ingredient lists are so long because it lists all of the spices in it.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: They're just throwing like to bulk up the numbers.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: We've got yeah, vitamin C, citrus, bioflavonoids, green tea extract, choline, bitartrate.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I mean like look how terrible this is for you, killer.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like it's fucking green tea, bro.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is these vitamins?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: So many of these are just vitamins.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's just straight up vitamin.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: I remember a lot of I was like, okay, that's killer.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Vitamins are deadly.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: What the hell is this?
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: It was that was a weird marketing ploy.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: If it was a marketing ploy, I don't believe it.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: It was very strange.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, this was somehow 861 calories.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's oh, kilojoules.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, never mind.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's no, it's kilojoules, so that's like maybe 200 calories.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: There are some places that use a different form of measurement for those that don't know what kilojoules are.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: Weird.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I would like to try the killer bar.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: That would be interesting.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, I'd try it.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: What else do we have?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh reclexa.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's just a pill that makes you reclusive.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Good old reclexa.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_03: And we also have you know, coming up on uh Christmas, the Inmoderation Advent calendar.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I do what were we gonna put in it though?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: What was the DeLorean key?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, one was a DeLorean key.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: We were going to put a bunch of really cheap stuff in there, like little army men and uh kazoos and tiny flutes and whatever.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: And uh one in a million boxes would have keys to a DeLorean in it.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: So we would make about$30 million if we sold them all.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: But like I feel like we also the gambling laws, because that is sort of gambling.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like we might run into some issues.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, how does like the you know the Kinder eggs and stuff get away with it?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like, don't they have a thing where you know you pull this and you get a prize or whatever?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Gambling is Um You have to pee to enter.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And there is a chance to win.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: win and there is no skill base to it.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, that would be gambling.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing like a lot of them get away with it like, hey, you don't need to purchase it.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the way you get away with it is by adding a skill based question, which as soon as you add a skill to it, it's no longer gambling.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we have a riddle.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: We could add a riddle to this thing.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: But like we can't they have to solve it and then they get their key?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: How does it it can't just already be in there then?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then have a yeah a skill based thing.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: So in one in a million of these advent calendars there is a riddle inside of one of the the dates and you pull it out and if you can solve the riddle we give you the key.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: Then we give you I'm sure I'm sure the law the laws will be fine with that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever there's all the laws they'll be okay with that.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a problem.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I'm not sure about the US one but I can tell you that yes if you add the skill based question it becomes a giveaway or um contest and it is no longer gambling or a lottery I should say.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Lottery right because I know there's a bunch of laws with that.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Usually yeah they're just like oh you don't have to pay to enter go online and put in your information and then you get entered and most people won't do that so they don't have to worry about that.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah and then it's no longer a necessary pay to win which again takes it out of the lottery category.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: We'll figure it out we'll make it legal we'll make it happen.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna figure this out in moderation advent calendar look out for it in 2037.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: But we'll have it all figured out by then maybe um but what I think we could do now is do you guys remember the Lorien?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yes I don't know what the hell it is the L'Orean was essentially a scam.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was prevented uh to unassuming investors as an exciting new automobile that supposedly represents the future of transportation with the grift being that those investors will assume they are purchasing a DeLorean.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: But the full name is the Inmoderation Lorien which you know we remove inmoderation it's DeLorean we say it fast people think they're investing in the DeLorean DeLorean and yeah we're just we're trying to get a bunch of investor capital this is basically the Theranos of uh automobile scams okay I think this is with the people in Silicon Valley yeah like I think we go over there get a few uh venture capitalists or whatever it is to invest in this I think this could I could work there was never meant to be a car I'm gonna give the other so I give the nutrition bucket an A.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Nutrition bucket's obviously an A.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Advent calendar also a B oh the the P the what A plus I think the P one could really work.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think A plus for sure that's that's we need to get that's the way it's Chemthug on that.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah we get Chemthug to help us a little bit on that we can make some seriously reclexa I'll give a uh reclexa I'll give it a C because it's a funny name and it doesn't we don't really have plants outside of that so you know it's just it's a pill that makes you worse.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of these products are just things that make you worse most there's uh we've got alpha water beta water and sigma water water charts in A alpha for alpha a alpha where is it okay so we we've we've got the yeah alpha water uh beta water is the deliberately inferior version of alpha water the proposed ingredient sources essentially beta water yes we're selling beta water and sigma water oh we've okay we've got alpha water with testosterone added to it and the note here is that the joke is drinking it would make you start wearing jeans without a shirt I I don't know what that's supposed to mean but well I I think what that must have been an RFK thing or something I'm not sure it must have been uh we've got the hydrogenated water enema what about a water enema it it's hydrogenated water as the enema liquid um goes into your butt it's just something that the the machine came up with uh we we've got so many it's I I've got a list of like 50 things we've got the inmoderation pill bucket uh the we're just selling a bucket full of pills just a bucket full of pills there is one here labeled and this is the name of the the supplement supplement that specifically hurts you well at least we were specific about it that title is catchy everyone's gonna remember that one uh this was a supplement concept built around the idea of creating a product that is explicitly designed as being bad for you essentially taking the aesthetics and branding strategy of products like liquid death and applying it to the supplement industry oh right so instead of pretending it was gonna make you healthier stronger leaner and happier the supplement would openly acknowledge that it is going to leave you worse off boy can I say something when we come up with these ideas with context it's already bad but listening to the eyes these ideas with zero context is fucking terrible yeah here's this idea like that's an awful idea but also wait hold on a second we've got it's much funnier to listen to it with no context Dave approved saline milk I'm just I'm gonna give all of these with no context cricket uh protein powder in moderation cricket cookbook I remember a cricket protein powder I don't remember a cricket cookbook yeah we were gonna do a whole cricket guest for that one I don't remember I don't remember was it me was I just the guest that time no I think we were talking with someone about scarcity of food or something we were talking about crickets but I don't remember I don't know but at some point we had pitched like it was gonna be a gag gift but then we thought like actually this might be fun.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: Wait hold on a second uh a lot of things start off as a gag and then we're like wait hold on a second yeah like brilliant this might actually be pretty good and we've got the uh the the tank nuts a go-gurt enema was mentioned at some point well it's already in the tube was that the idea because I guess it's just like an enema like in the goat the Mallory episode potentially if it's an enema it's probably the Mallory episode.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: We've also got several television shows that were pitched like um Inmoderation Island which is a depraved sort of reality show the uh the the drug league I know that was mine I just pitched that we should allow any drug to be in every sport and just run it like like the XFL if anyone remembers what that is I remember that there's just so much garbage on here I I can't possibly that's most of our episodes I mean to be honest.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wait a minute I've got a different count here poop lettuce and shopping for a DeLorean it's not at 69 mentions of DeLoreans it's a hundred and thirty nine a hundred and thirty nine that's the clip right there send that one to TM a hundred times and in that episode alone it makes up for like over 10% of it.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's quite a bit wow it's uh this this this is a very interesting show here I I'm just looking at this list and wondering how did this become how did how did this come out of a fitness podcast?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_03: Very gradual you know it was very like hey we've talked about a lot of the nutrition things and the inmoderation and all of that and then we were like what about poop lettuce what about what about DeLorean what about turning your urine in urine red what if what if we did that what if we did that we could make money off that we could scam people yeah what if we ran an investor scheme where we we sell the L'Orean we get people involved in this oh by the way it was also pitched that there would be a 200 billion dollar initial public offering on that one.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: So just IPO the company is worth 200 billion dollars stepping out on stage.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_03: Guys we're doing great we're doing awesome that was part of the pitch is like by the way this is 200 billion dollars.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: If we didn't say Kevin O'Leary would have trouble saying no to that as long as we're confident about it I think we can get some people investing.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: By the way just in case anyone here is listening who has 200 billion dollars we are announcing right now the L'Orean DeLorean don't look too much into it just just buy the car.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: Speaking of cars I was um Liam you and I were in Vegas together recently and I had two DeLoreans that were supposed to uh not go home with me one went to you and the other one was supposed to go to Ra but he unfortunately was not able to make it because he walked through a park where there were children.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_03: You walked through you weren't stopping there you were on your way elsewhere that wasn't the destination it was just in the way well you're gonna have to find another time to get if I get canceled it's your fault.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: Leah how much can you say of of uh what happened in Vegas or does it have to stay in Vegas?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah I went to Vegas I mean I can wear that I can't talk about the specifics on like Ninja Warrior but like I went for there for Ninja Warrior to be on the show and that was awesome just the experience of being on it and talking to the other like people I've watched on TV and whatnot and some of them were like hey my niece watches you can you like follow her back on social media and stuff like that it was really it was like it was an interesting trip.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was really fun uh yeah a lot of it's just so many great people and the and the experience was so cool and we got to just check out Vegas we went to the sphere that shit was crazy that was insane.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you've never seen it look up the sphere if you've never heard of it it's like a giant movie theater where it's just the screen is everywhere above left right and then they we watched the Wizard of Oz and they they blew like you know they had fans blowing air during the tornado and like leaves and stuff flying everywhere.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: That was that tornado scene was like one of the crazier things I've ever seen when we when we saw that like I I still got a little piece of the paper that flew over to us.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it was um your she your seat shakes like they vibrate your seat too which is crazy.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah that was super good so we got to do some really cool Vegas stuff.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: Getting to see you do the uh the course was really really fun it was I get to go up there I think people are gonna like it.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: I did so many bean related things that eventually when this airs which is going to take forever but when it does I think people are going to really enjoy the amount of beans I managed to cram in there.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how much they're gonna show maybe they'll literally just be like and here's a bean guy and he fell or whatever like that I don't that's it they don't mention they don't show any of the interviews nothing to the next one yeah but it's I getting to see it in person I it was just it was such a blast I hope they air everything because it's it will be some classic television.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it'll be I think especially my followers will really enjoy it so I definitely gotta remind people when when it comes out and June of next year it's like June yeah something like that.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Around yeah it'll it'll be several several months which sucks but you know when uh when it comes out I think people will really enjoy it I got to do they were when I got there I was like how much are you gonna let me lean into the beans and they were just like yes you could do as much as you want do all the bean things and I was like alright we you listen this is your fault.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: We had matching bean onesies got all the beans that that bean onesie was uh not so fun to wear waiting in the heat they do at night which is great yeah which yeah that helped and then we got to film it the bean onesieve with the the shirtless uh recipe video that was great I have been getting so many comments on that uh people really enjoyed watching us struggle to make a grilled cheese in a Vegas hotel room there's just people love that did you send it to grilled cheese for the iron it's just so good because I had forgotten to press the grilled cheese button and I pressed it and it squirted everywhere and it worked.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man people apparently were like oh and I didn't realize people like have you not seen the video of the Keurig in the hotel room and I was like no I don't know what this is I saw those comments apparently somebody had washed their underwear in a hotel Keurig and so no one will touch them anymore.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: We made ramen in the in the Keurig we made a cup of protein ramen I didn't know we weren't doing that anymore I apparently that's a thing don't use Keurigs in hotel rooms anymore we learned that making that video so just a heads up everyone if you're allergic to cheese don't use a clothing iron either because we may have used it for grilled cheese we used foil we used protection in that hotel room it's fine it was fine it all turned out great listen the smell in there is better than the smell of the rest of the hotel which is smoke so we'll see our hotel was not quite as smoky as some of the others we walked through there is there was one like into like the cosmopolitan that one had like this really smoke smell when we went in but still like the one we stayed at there's a strong smell of smoke so if I go back there I may stay at a different hotel if I get on Ninja Warrior again in the future people were smoking inside like this is this still happens there.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it's legal but they're not though that was a thing anymore I thought that was all done but apparently Nevada Las Vegas like nah smoke them up smoke them if you got them really a a done and dusted thing.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Nope in Vegas people smoking everywhere that was that's and it's mixes with the other smells too and it's just very it attacks the nostrils.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's very Vegasy one one hotel we walked through was like so sick.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_03: Okay okay yes it is legal to smoke tobacco inside in Las Vegas but only in specific designated areas.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah so it's I mean it doesn't if you smoke inside it's like you peed in the pool right it's it's gonna get to everywhere.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't stay in a five foot box around you it goes everywhere.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah so I didn't care for that so much but they other than that Vegas was really cool.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean it was hot but also fun it was a we did get to check out the Omega Mart.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone told us to check out Omega Mart if you haven't seen that it's like if aliens created a grocery store and tried to pretend it was run by humans it was interesting.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was interesting.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_03: That was pretty fun there are some interactive exhibits in there and stuff to touch and look around and stuff.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: I know how much Mike likes to touch stuff yeah I like to touch all sorts of stuff I was walking through with my eyes closed going nobody better be in front of my hands you know my favorite game that's that's for legal reasons that's not true.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone want to try the nutrition bucket this is our tester right here put it on it pats you on the head and calls you a good girl I don't remember that part of it.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_03: I do remember the nutrition bucket but it just there was a muzzle contraption involved in this thing and I don't know it I I we started pitching products at some point and we've just got a whole bunch of them on the list.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_03: We'll have to come up with more that we never make if you had to pick one to make though which would you make would you make the nutrition bucket oh I it's I at that I think we actually could get that done I think Rob you looked into like I mean it's a PVC bucket I would hope we'd be able to make a PVC bucket it's guys it's not really Elson Wessels whistles.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Put a sticker on it yeah we do put an inmoderation sticker on a PVC bucket and we have a nutrition bucket.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_03: And we're good to go I would like to see the inmoderation drug league get implemented.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: A little bit more we've got basically what ends up happening is the athletes are given drugs at random and they don't know what they're taking but the audience knows what they're taking.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're watching at home like you know instead of just seeing like the athlete's name under the thing on the screen you see what drug that they're about to be hit by as they're playing soccer.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh this one's got ayahuasca it's gonna be a really interesting sporting event.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_03: Also apparently cheating is allowed in this it says the general principle becomes if the rule book doesn't explicitly prohibit it it is legal.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well then that's not cheating.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah then it's not cheating anymore it doesn't say it's illegal so therefore it's not cheating.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you can find a loophole you're good to go.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah that's kind of how like all sports are it tells you what you can't do and then if it doesn't say you can't do that thing you can do that thing.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: You're not wrong.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's how all sports are that's pretty much how all sports work.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: Drug league NAS car you are allowed to modify the car however you want yes I really so you can you can do you can add you know rocket boosters to it you could add a gun to the front of it you could drive a DeLorean just a regular unmodified DeLorean for style points some people are given placebo pills that's interesting.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: So there are some people that think they're gonna be hit by the it would make for great TV legally we might be in some hot water we might have to everybody might be if they all agree and they sign the waivers and they say I'm fine if I accidentally take heroin to play smart needle though is a this is a hurdle we're gonna have a little bit of trouble with so you know how journalists don't get in trouble if they interview like a drug kingpin and don't turn him in yeah so we we fall under that rule.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah if we go into this as journalists and we say like the thing that we created right yeah I'm sure they'll be okay with that we are journalizing the drug league and we're we're putting this out so it's we can't really be held liable for this.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: No officer I'm just covering this murder that happened okay who killed him well you see that really what's important here yeah that's neither here nor there like let me do my work we'll figure this out let me do my work officer damn get off my back I'm the press you can't touch me I have immunity and you hold your hand up with a with a knife that's full of blood got the the bulletproof beast that says press on the back of it and the the the police are just like well yeah no he's the press is journalism we gotta let him go no one's ever tried this before.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: Do we have any lawyers listening in on this?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's good if that's the case or or bad it's it's not good if anyone's listening to this.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_03: No one should be listening to this here's one that won't get us in too much trouble the inmoderation cock cage this one I do remember.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember why we came up with this idea there's really not much detail here other than if it's no it was pretty much just a cage for your cock that was basically the whole and we're just selling them on the website Rob what that is a thing I'm pretty sure that is just a thing that we we're gonna put like slap an in moderation sticker on it and call it ours Rob knows what episode this is from oh that was that was 100% the Mallory episode did she bring it up no I did.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: You did oh the October surprise yeah it the quote is somebody says when are we selling in moderation cock cages so that must have been Rob.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: That was me all right you were on the website when are we doing it do they have that as an option like okay t-shirts bumper stickers oh cock cage right here great the shopify provide chastity belts can we can we get T public in on this oh no it's right next to the dildos it's down there you missed it sticker mule is available oh fuck somebody pitched condoms on the hands basketball which is basketball being on the hands but I don't remember why we made it basketball.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: There's also rules we established rules every player has condoms on their hands um the the condoms themselves become regulated equipment just like shoes balls or other sporting equipment ribbed condoms are illegal because they provide an unfair advantage that's fair listen I love that we come up with the details on the there's uh an inspector that goes through the player's hands to determine whether or not the condoms are condom on the hands basketball league compliant yeah right right that makes sense there's a certain the lubrication is regulated I was just about to ask do we come up with the lubrication okay yeah no we thought of this I'm glad we really thought of thought these things through uh there are league approved flavors so certain you can be disqualified for having a non-approved flavor strawberry and you're in a cherry league like you can't do that yes uh strawberry flavored condoms apparently provide a slight advantage so they are banned okay okay but some players uh would listen when we did our collaboration and we did the like making the grilled cheese in the hotel everyone was like how high are you what are you on and reading through this list now it makes me go yeah I can see why people thought that we come we've done some of the three stupid fucking insane things that only a high person really should come up with but no this is all just just us just no that collaboration was sober we've filmed every episode of this show sober uh there's nothing in our systems we just this is how we we do does that make things better or worse I can't decide you know yes I want to own it this is exactly how How I am.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: Drugs slow me down.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_03: I want to do it.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it makes it better that we come up with this completely stone cold sober.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: That is how we came up with the Nobel Prize.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_03: Do we remember the Nobel Prize?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: It comes because we're doing no something with no bells.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, basically it's like if you say it out loud, kind of like you know, the L'Oreal and people think you're getting the DeLorean.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's you say, Well, I want a Nobel Prize.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_03: But it's spelled like no space B-E-L-L.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: I do remember that.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that was a good idea.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: I remember thinking this was a great idea.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_03: So you qualify.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_03: So the way you qualify is you go to the council and they ask you, hey, do you have any bells?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_03: And if you answer no, I have no bells, then you get the Nobel Prize.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: Again.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: Solid.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, not maybe not A, B.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: For B for Bell.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I that's what I would give that.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_03: Makes sense.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_03: You're basically selling the ability to verbally be able to trick someone into thinking you have a Nobel Prize.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, I think this is a very solid uh condoms on the hands basketball.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: I give that we really should have been high to come up with that.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know whatever that grade is.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's one of the most crazy fucking ideas.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_03: The fact that the drug league came out of me with nothing in my system at all, uh I mean, we've got all sorts of regulations.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can see the drugs, like you know, drugs, you know, very common, sports, there's lots of drugs in sports, but like having condoms on your hands to play basketball is really some fucking whacked out crazy shit.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: Can we do this?
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: It this wouldn't be hard to do.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like we just we get together on a basketball court somewhere and we just bring some condoms, you know, as three guys just being doomed.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, he's got fucking strawberry.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: He's got strawberries, he's he's got ribbed strawberry.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's like corking a basketball or a baseball bat.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: Corking a basketball.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, most people cork their baseballs, the baseball bats.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: I cork my basketball.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: It gives me an extra little bit of leverage there, you know.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_03: They're shaking the basketball and it's rattling, and they're like, he corked the basketball.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: It makes it so much worse.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you use this?
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I thought, listen, I heard corking and I thought it would be good.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: It makes it shake off to the left.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't, you can't even get it in the hoop.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a bowling ball at that point.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's all settling on the bottom, going all over the place.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I think we could do an actual game of condoms on the hands basketball.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like something from Rick and Morty, like when they when they changed the channel and they're watching like interdimensional stuff.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the interdimensional cable.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, interdimensional cable.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it sounds like a show on interdimensional cable.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_01: Condoms on the hands basketball.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: If anyone wants to see us do condoms on the hands basketball, send us uh send us a comment.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_03: Shooty.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: We'll do that for the charity live stream.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: I when are we doing can we like really set something up and then you just not see your nephew for like a month before that?
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that we can just get you out of here for Katan.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_03: I I'll do it.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_03: I've got my passport.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: I renewed it.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: I actually also have my passport.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean Canada.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: I have no life, so our home and native land.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: Through oh fuck.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: Keep going, Mike.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: Keep it going.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_02: A modern day warrior, mean mean stride.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: Today's Tom Sawyer, mean mean pride.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's how the Canadian anthem goes.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_03: And though his mind is not for rent, boom, boom, boom, boom.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_03: If my dad is listening to this right now, I'm sorry I just put you through that.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_03: He doesn't like rush.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: What if Getty Lee is or Alex Lifeson are listening to this?
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's not personal.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: And what you say about his company?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_03: Can we get that going at a do you guys have like do your kids in the morning at school stand up and do the Canadian Pledge of Allegiance?
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: Is there a Canadian Pledge of Allegiance?
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Mike was just singing it.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: They sell sing Rush.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's a lie.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually tragically hip that we pledge allegiance to.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do they just read the back of a maple syrup container?
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, I knew it.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: I fucking knew it.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_03: That makes sense.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sorry, sorry, we don't we don't really go for the whole uh brainwashing children thing here.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna say oh, you should really do it.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's it you you get a lot of really smart people out of that.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: Things are going really well here.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: And now for this awkward silence brought to you by Mike's and Deloreans.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's apparently what this podcast is about.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: Michael J.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fox is Canadian.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I saw.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, is he?
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I also might be making that up.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_03: If you said by the way, everybody, in case um you want to be evil, just say things confidently and people will believe you.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um in this case, I am correct, but I really was just blowing that out my ass.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um he's from Edmonton, in fact.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know who else is.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, there's the DeLorean.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_03: Liam's got the DeLorean.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on, I'm gonna get Rob's.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: I have a pen.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: I have a pen.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: DeLorean.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: You could have gotten a DeLorean.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: Rob, this one's gotten a DeLorean.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, hold on, don't go get a DeLorean.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: DeLorean.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_03: This eventually will be in Rob's possession.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_03: This is the Back to the Future 3 DeLorean right here.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say that one looks different.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this one's got a box on the front of it.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_03: If I tell you why it's there, I will ruin the don't tell.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to know.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Don't tell me.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: But yes, this is the one.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what any of these things are.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: I know one of them is the flux capacitor.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_03: I have a DeLorean.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: There it is.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_03: There's the Lorien.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's pretty sweet.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's that Lorien right there.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_03: What kind of truck is that?
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_03: What are they?
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_03: Is that an ice cream truck?
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's an ice cream truck.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_03: Putting that in front of a fat guy.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look, they've got orange, they've got candy, they've got cola.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, those are drinks.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, candy is under drinks?
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, those are drinks.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why is candy under drinks?
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna ask questions.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: I just speaking of drinks.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't found Liam.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_00: What you missed last week is craft dinner mac and cheese has come out with Kraft Dinner Cream Soda.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: And Mike just Mike just walked away.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, okay, hold on.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it is an actual soda.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, it's a sort of mac and cheese flavored.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_03: So it's it what they're saying is it is more cream soda and vanilla forward, but uh it has some undertones of craft cheese in it.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: So what you're telling me is that they ran out of ideas.
• 51:53
  unknown: Yes.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: And they kind of just did what we did, but they really put it, they actually did it as opposed to we just ramble about stupid shit.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: People are saying that it's not as disgusting as you might think.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to get my hands a little bit to send to you guys so that we can all try it on podcast.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll cover the the cost of it and the shipping.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: You send it my way.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe, Mike, you also haven't had iron brew, so maybe I'll tell you, send you an iron brew while I'm at it.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_01: When you visit me, I give it to you.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's girders.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um I uh this uh it's uh no, this is spelled I R N B R U.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_03: I remember the brew is spelled B R U.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_03: What was that soda, um Liam, that you had me try in Vegas?
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: The one that prevents the softening of the brain.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: Softening of the brain.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: You don't even remember the name of the soda, but you remember it prevents softening of the brain.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: That would be Moxie.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_03: Moxie, that's right.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's this this red concoction.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_03: It it's it's got a bitter chase to it at the end.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's got a medicinal quality, it tastes medicinal.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_03: It is very medicinal because that's what like what it was supposed to be.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: But it's one of the earliest sodas, it came out in 1880 something.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_03: The the history of it is it's meant to solve several like pioneer diseases, including a lot of soda started with the with the medicinal qualities, right?
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: And they really leaned into that, and they it's there's a specific route in like South America they use, and it has a very strong medicinal flavor, but it's worth trying if you ever see it.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: So you can morally like northeast.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's it is really bites.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was interesting.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was uh happy to have it once we'll try that, and I will never never need to purchase and drink a whole one again.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_03: So they have iron brew in Albany also.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_03: This isn't just Canadian.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think we do.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think I had to order it.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_03: I had to order it.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I had to order it.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a it's Scotland's drink, uh their country drink.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's yeah, yes.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know what we should do is let's order a whole bunch of really weird stuff, and we all get together and we try it.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: Get the iron.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: Did you literally forget last week?
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, you the the plan last week was you were going to send me the the craft mac and cheese pop.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: Plus all the other weird stuff that we could think of.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_03: Plus that, yeah.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_03: It's we can we can do something interesting here.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we're also sending it to Kevin Meyer, who's gonna come on and drink with us.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_03: Do we have a date for that yet?
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to see him.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I gotta find the drinks first.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_03: Either way, I want to get him on here.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_01: He's a good guy.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_01: And until then, everybody, go try some weird shit.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: As long as it's mostly legal.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: Mostly legal.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or turn your urine red.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: One or the other.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, you can get away with the channel.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you purchase that from us.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: You got that from us.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_03: If you're a journalist, you can do anything.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a journalist, it's all legal.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_03: Everything's fine.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: You got diplomatic immunity.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_03: So remember, Liam Leighton said everything's legal if you're wearing a press jacket.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: Send this to all the journalists you know.