Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How smart people fall for narcissists as well

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How smart people fall for narcissists as well · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are talking about how smart people also fall for
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  narcissist as well. Yo, if you're new here, my name
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  is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Yeah, welcome back, Welcome
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  back. Welcome back, folks.
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  So yeah, yeah, this is one of these.
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  This is one of these. So I talked to so many people.
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  Y'all. If y'all don't know, I still do
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  my one. On ones over zoom and whatnot
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  you can find those@mentalillness.net.
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  I still do those and I have some group stuff coming up in real
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  and some group stuff, some online group group coaching and
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  also some real life in person meeting events and workshops
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  coming up as well. But yes, y'all yes yes.
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  When I tell y'all this right here, please believe me when I
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  tell you this, a lot of narcissistic people will.
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  They don't just go after people or that are less educated or
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  what other people refer to as dumb people.
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  Smart, educated, highly educated people fall for narcissist
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  manipulation all the time. So when I'm doing my one on ones
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  over Zoom, I hear this all the time when people I'm when I'm
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  talking to people, they'll say Lee, I'm smart, I'm a smart
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  person. I have a doctorate, I have this.
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  Some of them are actually, you know, you know, actually talk to
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  people all the time. Like some of them are actually
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  therapists themselves and they fall for narcissistic people.
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  They were like, I feel and some people just feel bad because
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  they fell for a narcissist, even though they are licensed
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  clinical therapist or licensed clinical social social worker.
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  You know, some of them will feel bad.
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  And I should tell people y'all just because you're smart, just
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  because you're well versed in narcissism, just because you're
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  well versed in toxic behaviors, just because you might have even
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  been in a toxic relationship before doesn't mean that you are
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  immune to falling for the charm or the charisma or the toxicity
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  of another narcissistic person. Narcissists.
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  You know, I I hear this and I see this online all the time
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  too, where people would just say narcissists go out to dumb
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  people are like Nah, can they? I don't like using the word dumb
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  can. Can narcissists go out to less
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  smart people? You know, can narcissists pursue
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  those type of people? Yes.
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  Y'all narcissists. They they can pursue them.
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  But a lot of narcissists go after the smart people.
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  Some narcissists will target naive younger folks.
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  Yeah, of course. And they consider them young and
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  dumb. But some of them will go after
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  highly educated, smart people because they see them as a
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  challenge. You know, they see the smart,
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  educated person as a challenge. And this is whatever gender,
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  whoever, whatever gender you are, they go after you because
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  they see it as a challenge and they they might be attracted to
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  it. They might be attracted to it
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  because that's something that they they themselves possess
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  because they can be equally as educated and equally as smart.
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  Or some of them go after it because that's what they lack.
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  You know, I see this. You see it all the time.
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  You see it like a literally a doctor with somebody, you know,
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  barely graduated high school, you know, and that happened.
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  It's not me just trying to shame people to just graduate from
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  high school, you know, that's not me.
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  That's not me trying to. There's not a shaming technique.
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  But like I said, when people see that they're like, how did y'all
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  end up together? You know, I don't doesn't seem
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  like they'll fit, you know? But it happens because, like I
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  say wily. But why does this happen?
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  Why don't we Why don't smart people fall for narcissists?
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  Yeah, because narcissists are charming.
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  They're fun to be around a lot of time, You know, it's
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  something about like, and this is going to sound weird and this
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  is not, this is not trying to get into the spiritual realm or
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  anything like that. But sometimes you deal with a
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  narcissist. Narcissistic people exude this
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  energy that isn't attractive. It's like an attractive energy.
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  It's an essence, you know, It's an essence that you're attracted
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  to of this person. You're like, oh, I'll never
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  dated that person, but then somehow you end up dating them
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  and marry with them and y'all have kids together.
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  Oh, this person. Like this person.
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  When I first met them, they were not even my type though, Lee.
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  And now we're married and have kids.
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  You see what I'm saying? Sometimes, yeah.
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  Do opposites attract? Yeah.
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  But sometimes what you lack is you fight.
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  Like what you don't possess, That narcissistic person does
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  and that might attract you. You have this, this carnal
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  internal attraction to this person because they might have
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  personality characteristics and traits that you like.
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  You know, they might have that you, they might have that and
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  they might possess that right there, you know.
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  And people like you don't have to be dumb to fall for
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  manipulation tactics. Y'all.
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  You can be as educated as as you want to be and be manipulated.
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  Politics like you see these high level politicians that get
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  manipulated all the time by people that are less educated
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  than them. You see people can fake it till
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  you make it, manipulate, lie, cheat, Steve, whatever.
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  You know and it happens all the time.
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  It really, really does. That's why I tell people like
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  this is you can be a rocket scientist and get manipulated by
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  a toxic narcissistic person. And as it it doesn't say
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  anything less about you. You can be a therapist and end
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  up with a narcissist. I talk to a therapist all the
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  time. They don't.
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  With narcissism, it's just like, it's different learning about it
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  than dealing with it in real life.
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  It's different. You know, you can learn about
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  it. You can go to school for four or
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  five, ten years to learn about gaslighting and manipulation.
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  But when you see it in real life, sometimes they sometimes
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  they play on your education. They would just say you're too
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  smart, like, wow, and you, you'll catch it.
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  You're like, are you trying to gaslight me?
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  Are you lying to me? Like why would I try to do that
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  to you? You are like way too smart for
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  me to try to lie to and gaslight you.
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  You're you're way too smart to try to manipulate you.
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  They will use your education against you.
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  They will use your in that. In that example right there, I
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  just it was gaslighting. Why would I do that to you.
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  You're way too smart for that. You see I gave it's like a
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  humble it's a compliment. But it's also a manipulation
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  right there behind it. It's a compliment with some gas
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  lighting in the gas. The essence of gas lighting.
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  The internal essence of gas lighting like like a candle like
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  a little like a I got gaslighting.
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  Incense, like the smell is gaslighting.
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  What's that smell right there. What smell?
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  That's the gaslight. That's how you describe
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  gaslighting. The the scent of a candle.
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  Those scented candles. The scent is gaslighting.
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  You'd be like, what's that smell like?
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  What smell? Gotcha.
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  There's no smell. There's no there's not There's
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  not even a candle here. That's the scent the how you
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  describe it, you know that's how you describe it.
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  Oh that's a good that's a bit somehow that's going to go into
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  a skit. I don't know how, but I'm going
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  to work that into a skit some way, shape or form.
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  But you don't have to be dumb to fall for a narcissistic person.
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  Manipulation. Y'all, you know, the two things
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  do not have to be mutually exclusive.
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  You know what I mean? It just like I I tell this to
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  people all the time for manipulation.
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  Yeah, because it it happens. I saw an article the other day
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  saying one of the reasons that smart people fall for
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  manipulation. Because you are curious.
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  Like if you're highly educated, they mean you like you might.
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  You might like to do research on things like that so somebody
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  that's toxic and manipulative can pique your curiosity.
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  I saw that in the article the other day, that you can pique
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  their curiosity. You can.
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  You're open because you're smarter than you're educated.
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  You're a smart person. You're open to to change.
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  You're open to different, different everything.
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  You have a level, a different level of openness.
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  So when you open like that, it might be easier for a toxic
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  narcissistic person to slide into your life, especially
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  y'all. Like I said, now I see this
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  comment in my comment sections a lot too, across all my
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  platforms. When people who just outright
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  call narcissists dumb, they're like, narcissists are stupid.
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  I'm like, y'all. A lot of narcissists are that.
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  If they're not smart, they're highly intuitive and they can
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  pick up on certain things, you know?
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  But some narcissists are just as equally educated as you are.
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  You know, you don't have to be dumb to be a narcissist like
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  narcissist. Are there some dumb narcissists?
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  Yes. Are there some uneducated
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  narcissists also? Yes.
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  You know what I mean? Are there some narcissists that
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  are not good at manipulation? Also?
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  Yes. Y'all it just, it just falls
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  into this dynamic, into this space where this is going to be
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  like a constant of what happens in these relationship dynamics,
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  you know, dealing with a toxic narcissistic person.
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  This is kind of the the paradigm you fall into, isn't it?
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  It's wild, you know. And another reason that smart
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  people, educated people, can fall for narcissists,
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  intelligent people can fall for narcissists is you might be
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  lonely. You might be lonely and
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  vulnerable and if you like I said that that combination right
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  there, loneliness and vulnerability, like you just
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  lost someone. You just went through a a
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  horrible divorce, that type of stuff right there.
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  That's the perfect combination for a toxic, narcissistic person
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  to slide into your life and you miss and you miss these right
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  here. You miss, you miss these right
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  here. You might miss the red flags
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  because you're lonely and you're vulnerable and you just want
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  some company. You know, it is like this person
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  who, who you might not be conventionally attracted to you
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  end up falling for because they got you when you were lonely and
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  vulnerable. They fill the void, they're
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  filling a void in your life. They're filling a space in your
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  life. You know, it could be part of
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  that right there. It really, really could be.
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  They can just get you when you're going through something.
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  They can just be there for you when you're going through
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  something. You can just, they can, they can
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  already be a friend of yours. They they can be a friend of
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  yours from a child. This is, this is another dynamic
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  I see happening all the time. Like they can be a childhood
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  friend of yours that you lost contact with, but you somehow
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  y'all reconnected later on in life and they get you because
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  you trust them. Like I I I've been on this
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  person for 10 years. We grew up in the same
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  neighbourhood. But they are toxic and
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  manipulative and you might let your guard down because you
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  already know you, you know this person, you know of this person.
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  You knew you knew this person. Let's say it like that.
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  You knew this person years ago. So you you have this level of
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  trust for them that you normally wouldn't have for anybody, A
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  stranger of the same caliber, you know?
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  So to get into your life, y'all have mutual friends.
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  They make you laugh, they're funny, they clap the cheeks or
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  whatever, and then they get you. You let your guard down.
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  It happens. Y'all.
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  It really, really does happen. You can be strong, independent,
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  but you can be lonely and this person can come slide into your
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  life. You can be just smart, as
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  educated as you want to be, but you be lonely and vulnerable.
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  You just lost your sister, your brother.
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  You know, something just happened.
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  You know, you just got into a car accident.
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  You were extremely vulnerable and you realize you're by
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  yourself. You know, you might be getting,
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  you might be getting older and you feel like, oh, my clock is
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  ticking and this person just pops on a dating app and lie.
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  You know, they lied upon on a dating app about their
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  qualifications for you and they're what they actually
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  looking for and they get you, you know, it happens.
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  So don't feel bad. If you were educated or you're
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  smart and a narcissist managed to manipulate you, don't feel
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  bad about the y'all because it happens to a lot of different
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  people. You know it does happen because
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  like and I'll say this right here in closing, the same
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  information that's available to non narcissists, the impacts of
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  highly educated people, that same information is available to
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  narcissists online as well. Y'all like you see me, I'm a
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  diagnosed narcissist. The same information that is
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  available to me is available to anybody else, but I use the
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  information for good. Not everybody is out here is not
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  everybody out here is going to use the same information I'm
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  using to help people. Some of them, some people will
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  use it to harm others, you know. I can't speak about who it is
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  and what is going on, just be very weary.
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  You can follow any other self aware narcissist accounts and
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  they just pretending they want to help people and they just
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  manipulated you. So anyways y'all thank you for
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  tuning in. Hope this video made sense to
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  you. Of course, if you haven't
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  already, like and subscribe and I'm out.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:29
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:31
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:35
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:37
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 11:39
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.