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Why some narcissists DISAPPEAR on social media after the breakup · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why some narcissist stop
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  posting on social media after the breakup.
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  Why? Why do they disappear?
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  Why do they ghost their online communities if they have one?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back yes y'all N 60 people will sometimes
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  disappear, vanish, become Casper on social media after the
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  relationship ends right like yeah, regardless of who of who
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  ends it right, Regardless of who ends it.
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  I know there's a, I don't know how to say it's a rumor, but I
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  know there's a lot of videos and information out there that say
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  when narcissist, when the breakup happens and they have a
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  new supply, they plaster everything, all of the social
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  media. That's not always going to be
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  true, right? Yes, there are a lot of
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  narcissists and toxic people that after the breakup, they
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  will try to use their online stuff to manipulate other
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  people. They will try to use their
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  online platforms to manipulate either manipulate you into
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  trying to come back to the relationship or, or, or just try
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  to hurt your feelings right there.
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  There's a lot of them that would just use their online social
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  media stuff to try and hurt your feelings because they, that's
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  what they want to do. They want to inflict as much
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  pain and as much harm as humanly possible on you because the
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  relationship has ended. That's what they want to do.
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  That's what they can't. That's what a lot of
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  narcissistic people kind of get off on.
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  They get off on the manipulation.
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  They get off on using the social media to get validation and
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  things like that after the relationship ends.
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  So yeah, they, a lot of them will absolutely, absolutely,
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  absolutely, absolutely you use their platforms and stuff like
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  that to hurt and manipulate. But there are also, there are
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  also a lot of narcissistic people.
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  They go silent on social media. Like if you were dating me and
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  we were to break up, I will probably go silent on social
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  media. Like regardless of whether or
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  not I had a new supply, that's important.
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  Regardless of instead, regardless of whether or not I
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  had a new supply, I would probably go silent, right?
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  That's that's what happens that it, it really goes in that space
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  right there, regardless of what comes next, like because This is
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  why a lot of narcissists do it right here, y'all, Some
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  narcissists go silent because they're, they have something to
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  hide, right? They don't.
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  They might have a new supply and they want it.
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  They don't want to go public with said new relationship.
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  But Lee, why wouldn't they want to go public with their new
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  relationship? Why don't they want why?
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  Why don't they want to rub it in our faces?
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  Because you might know them. They might want to hide the new
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  the new supply because you might have an active relationship with
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  that narcissistic person, right? You might actually know that not
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  the narcissist. You might have an active
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  relationship with this person that the narcissist is trying to
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  hide from you, right? This is what happens.
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  Like you might know this person, so they don't want to go public
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  with it because they might be your best friend.
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  It might be your cousin, it might be your sister, your
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  brother, it might be your mom. It might be somebody that you
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  know that they don't want you to know.
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  They don't want public. You know, they want to have.
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  They don't want anybody to know because it helps protect their
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  reputation because if they if they get caught, like come out
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  cheating on you or whatever, like, oh, you were cheating on
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  them, it can ruin their reputation.
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  So some of them will do it like that, right?
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  But, but, but there are a lot of narcissists that like you have
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  plausible deniability because they want you to come back.
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  They want you to come back to them.
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  They want to, they want to get off of social media and stop
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  posting stuff and get off the dating apps and things like that
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  because they want you to come back.
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  And even if they have a new supply, if I hide the new
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  supply, if you can't prove that I have a new supply, what's
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  going on there? If you can't prove it, what's
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  up? If you cannot prove that I have
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  a new supply, it might make you go crazy, right?
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  But if you know I have a new supply, chances are you might
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  not come back. But if you don't know, if you
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  can't prove it, then you might. We might end up being back
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  together. Or I might have a chance.
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  Like plausible deniability. I disappear on social media
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  because now you don't know what's going on.
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  You see what I'm saying? But now I get to be a private
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  person. I'm hurting you.
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  You might just think I'm inhaling, right?
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  You might. Oh, he, he's hurting.
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  He must be, he's hurting. So he's healing, right?
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  That's what you might, that's what you might be thinking.
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  That might be going through your head.
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  You're thinking that I'm hurting because I'm not posting stuff on
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  social media. You're thinking that I'm healing
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  because I'm not posting stuff on social media.
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  Whatever. But actually, I just want you
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  back and I want I want to have plausible deniability even if I
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  have someone else. Because again, if you can prove
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  the hassle was you might not want to come back to me, you
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  might not want me anymore. You might no, you might no
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  longer want to be with me, might no longer want to be around me.
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  You might no longer want to deal with me at all.
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  So I go, there's a lot of narcissists that can go about
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  doing it this way right here, right there absolutely is.
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  So you have to prepare for that because don't reverse Hoover
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  yourself. So many people get caught in the
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  reverse Hoover in this situation right here.
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  Because it works. It does.
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  Yeah, it absolutely works. The reverse Hoover doesn't work.
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  Y'all don't think the reverse Hoover works?
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  Because it absolutely does. The reverse Hoover absolutely
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  works. Because like if you want me, you
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  will reach out to me. That's how my mind works.
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  So if I go silent, if I go silent, you might, you might
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  want me and you reach out to me because I've went silent because
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  now you miss me, because now I'm inconspicuous.
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  Now I've I've I've got you. You're curious now, right?
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  You're curious nature, you're curious in nature right now.
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  So I got you. So this happens to so many
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  people. You take it's like fishing.
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  It really is like it really is like in path fishing, like the
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  narcissist put has they have like they have the little bait.
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  What do I put on? How do I, how do I catch an
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  impact? What kind of bait do I want to
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  use? Silence.
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  Put let me put some silence on the end of this line.
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  They cast it out there, you know, they, they, they get a
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  good, they get a good cast. They deep it back, sling that
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  thing out there into the little empath lake, and they just sit
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  and wait. And then all of a sudden out of
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  nowhere, you get missing me because you haven't seen me
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  posting anything. I'm normally very active on
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  social media. You start reaching out to your
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  friends. Hey, have y'all seen Lee posting
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  anything online? Have y'all talked to him?
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  He's been silent on me. You start reaching out to my
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  friends. Hey, I just want to check in.
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  And Lee, OK, I haven't heard from him in a while.
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  He's just like we broke up since the breakup.
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  He's been, you know, he's been kind of silent since the since
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  the breakup and whatnot. So that happens, y'all, he's
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  been really silent since the break up, so I don't really know
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  what's going on. What happened right there.
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  So you, this is something that you have to prepare for because
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  they will absolutely do this. Now, will every narcissist
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  behave the same way? No, but once you reach out, once
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  you break that no contact barrier, once you break that no
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  contact seal, you lose because I know you want me and if I'm
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  trying to get away with something, if I'm trying to get
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  forgiven for something, if I'm trying to get make sure that
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  you're over something, I got you just like that.
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  That's how I get you right there.
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  I get you by doing that. I get you by saying that this is
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  how I wrap. This is how I wrap you in right
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  here, y'all. This is absolutely how I wrap
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  you in. Because if you reach out to me,
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  again, if you reach out to me, you can't say anything bad,
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  right? If you reach out to me, you
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  can't make any requests. If you reach out to me, you
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  can't. You have no say in me getting
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  better. Like you didn't say it out loud,
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  but because you're a check, because you can say it out loud,
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  but because you're chasing after me, because you're after me, I
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  got you. I win because you're after me.
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  This is what happens. This is the process that a lot
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  of people go through. Now, I said This is why you have
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  to stay strong when they go silent.
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  This is why you have to stand in your truth when they go silent.
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  This is why you have to have a support system when they go
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  silent. This is why you have to have a
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  lot of self love when they go silent.
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  This is when you have to have, you have to have discipline when
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  they go silent. You don't want to be the one who
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  breakthrough the barrier. Because if you prove like, yeah,
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  of course, yeah, of course you might still care.
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  That's understandable. You're a human being, you have
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  feelings, you have a heart. Of course, it makes sense that
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  you might still care about the person that you spent a year, 2
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  years, six months, 17 years, 20 years.
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  Of course, y'all this what? This is what happens.
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  You know what I mean? This is the type of stuff that
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  happens. This is the type of stuff you
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  might go through, but this is part of healing.
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  This is part of growth. This is part of what so many,
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  this is part of what so many people have to battle with and
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  go through as you're trying to heal and go.
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  No contact or low contact or Gray rocking or yellow rocking.
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  Whatever modality you decide to use on your healing journey,
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  this is part of it. This year, whatever modality,
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  whatever healing technique that you try to use, discipline is
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  going to be a part of every single one of them.
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  Discipline permeates every single one of them.
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  Discipline is going to be one of the tenants of every single one
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  of these healing modalities. You have to have discipline to
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  not reach out to them. You have to have discipline to
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  not turn on the narcissist TV. You have to have discipline in
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  order to celebrate the small victories.
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  Not but not reaching out to them when you want to.
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  I know you want to reach out to them.
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  You're like you didn't do it. Pat yourself on the backyard.
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  It's OK to celebrate the small victories.
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  The small wins are still wins. So many people get caught up.
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  It's just like I don't want to celebrate the small wins.
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  I feel like I'm didn't. No celebrate y'all.
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  If you don't celebrate it, who will?
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  You have to be willing to celebrate your own victories
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  because a narcissistic person not going to celebrate.
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  Hell no. Why would they want to do that?
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  Why would they want to celebrate you?
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  And you'll be like, well, they care.
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  Yeah. You ever trying to argue with me
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  about narcissist Karen? We're going to have a loan.
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  We're going to have a loan. We'll have a loan.
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  Rest in November. You know what?
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  You have a low. You have a low healing journey
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  in front of you. I promise you.
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  But this is part of it right here, 123.
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  This is part of the process that so many people are going to go
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  through and experience and whatnot.
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  I want y'all to. I want to help you heal.
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  So when they go silent on social media, it doesn't mean that,
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  like I said, that you should reach out to them.
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  I know you might still, yeah, I know you might still care.
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  But like I said, if you still care, that's understandable.
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  It's OK to still care. But if you want to heal, it's
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  not OK to reach out and break no contact and things like that.
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  It really isn't. So this is something you have to
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  consider. This is something has to go to
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  your mind. This is something you have to
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  continue to think about as you try to heal, as you try to go,
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  as you try, as you try to grow and as you try to go, as you go
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  go through this type of stuff, you know, mean it's baby steps
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  in the right direction. Be with y'all.
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  Let me hop off this thing. I really, truly appreciate
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  y'all. Yeah, If you don't know, I'm
• 11:08
  expanding my podcast coming up here pretty soon.
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  I'm starting the mental illness podcast.
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  Why don't you just talk about all things mental health, not
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  just narcissism. I'm thinking about putting it on
• 11:17
  this channel or I might put it on my other channel.
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  I'm just trying to decide right now.
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  I don't want this channel to be too murky and whatnot, but this
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  is my mental health mental illness channel, so it makes
• 11:25
  sense to keep it over here. So anyways, you haven't already
• 11:28
  go and subscribe to the channel. I'll be doing I'll be doing
• 11:30
  interviews on that side of things on I'll be doing
• 11:33
  interviews on the mental illness podcast to talk about everything
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  narcissism, everything, like every mental health stuff,
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  everything mental health related.
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  Thank you for tuning in and it's always y'all mental.
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  This is out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 11:49
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:51
  to the channel, help reach more people and click on the screen
• 11:54
  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
• 11:56
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:59
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 12:01
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 12:03
  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.