Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Finding Unconventional Love with 90 Day Fiancé's Marissa Rubinetti

Transcript

Finding Unconventional Love with 90 Day Fiancé's Marissa Rubinetti · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody, it is I Do Part two and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: we've got two of your hosts here today. It's me
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Amy Roeboch alongside my fiancee t J.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Holmes, and yes, is this the first time you've ever
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: introduced me like that?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I liked it?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Oh you did. We'll say, all right, we can say
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: it for a little while longer, it's not too much longer, all.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Right, dropping little hands about people already got one wedding
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: they're speculating about. Don't have them speculating about.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: All right, all right, So this is the podcast where
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: we get to talk to people who have all different
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: types of love stories and they're not the conventional ones.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: And if you did it right the first time, you
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: like to say.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: This is not the show for you exactly.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So today we get to connect with Marissa Rubinetti from
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: this season's ninety Day Fiance. We've been binging it, we've
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: all caught up to this point, but we have a
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: lot of questions for Marissa. This is one of our
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: absolute favorite television shows. It's all about finding love in yes,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: unconventional ways, going out of this country to find the
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: love of your life. And so Marissa, welcome, Thank you.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: All Right, so we have a lot to talk about
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: with you. This is I Do Part two. So yes,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: everyone on the show, including your hosts, have been divorced.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Present party included. So yes, we actually got to meet
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: your ex husband on the show. Michael, tell us about
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: your part one. What happened with that marriage? How long
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: were you married, how long have you been divorced? Just
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: give us kind of an idea of what happened with
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: that relationship here.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my ex husband and I met online, you know,
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: typical dating story, meet online, and you know, we jumped
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: into our relationship quite quickly, and then we moved in
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: together also quickly. We got married within three years of dating,
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: and then we were married for six and a half years.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: Amongst that time, we had two children. We have two boys,
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: and I'm not gonna lie to you, the marriage was
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: a bit tumultuous. It was a tough marriage. I don't
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: like to really talk too negatively about Michael, but we
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: butted heads. We were just not a good fit to
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: be a couple. I think we worked better as parents individually,
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: but it just it just didn't work out, and I
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: felt very alone in the marriage. And I felt very
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: almost depressed, and it was just, you know, there was
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: one incident where things just got completely out of control
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: and then I decided, you know what, I have to
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: get out of this marriage. It's not really serving me anymore.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: It's making me miserable, and it's time to move on.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: It really was one incident that it snapped for you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: I think it's a series of incidents, but then there
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: was one major. Yeah, like a series of things that
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: just like keep building and building and building animosity.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you said something? You will met up online? Yeah,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: and now here we are talking to you about a
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: ninety day Ye. Are you just an unconventional dater? Well?
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: I love to meet people in person. In fact, I
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: mean I met Edward in person. We didn't meet online.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: You know, some of the before the nine Day folks
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: they meet online, but Edward and I met in person.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I actually like to go on conventional dating.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: It's just funny that my husband and my ex husband
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: and I met on match dot com.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And we appreciate I think everyone listening appreciates you talking
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: about what happened, because look, people always want to have
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: some big story, but sometimes you're just not the right fit.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: And it does take a tremendous amount of courage, or
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: it takes maybe that final moment where you have the
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: courage to walk away and say this is going to
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: be healthier not only for me, but for my children exactly.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: So the kids were very young too, and it was hard.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: I was really scared because you know, being a single
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: mother of two young boys is a lot of work.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I was full.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: Time working in a corporate office, so it was really scary.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: But I feel like I really made the right decision,
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: because you're right, it just wasn't healthy for anybody.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: So how long were you divorced before you met Edward.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: I was divorced for not too long actually, and he
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: and I met the first time. A lot of people
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: don't know this is that I went on a girl's
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: trip very soon after I got divorced. Met Edward.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Makes sense, a lot of people do, ye, yes.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: And I met Edward he was working at the hotel
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: that the girls and I stayed in. He was working
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: at the karaoke bar that night. You know, we had
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: a connection, but nothing happened. We didn't even kiss, like
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: a lot of people think, I go on vacation. I
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: have a one night stand. It's a vacation romance that
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: didn't happen, believe it or not. The other really funny
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: thing is that, like after I left Punta Kana that
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: first time, we didn't speak for about five years. Oh wow,
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: maybe maybe it wasn't five. Maybe it was like four
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: or something like that. So we didn't speak for a
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: long time.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Did we know this?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: It's really funny, I know is that I might be
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: getting the years wrong, but like it was several times
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: I would say it was like at least three years.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I mean even just a year later is a long time. Yeah,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: several years.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Several years so, and COVID happened, you know, the world
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: kind of shut down.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Did you stay in touch? Did you exchange numbers?
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: So when I first met him the first time I left,
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: we stayed in touch for maybe a few months. But
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: then I was like, this is a young guy. He's
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: in Puntakana, Like what am I going to do with him?
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Like I'm a single mom, Like I have to focus
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: on the kids. And nothing happened, and but I you
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: know what the thing is, I kept his number and
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I always remember him because in that moment when we
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: had a connection, it's like I felt alive again. You know,
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: I came out of a really tough marriage. I felt
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: worthless as a woman, you know, undesired, not pretty, and
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: he made me feel special. So I always say it's him.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: It's like, you don't realize that that feeling that you
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: evoked inside of me, Like I never forgot it. So
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: years later, jumped to twenty twenty three, I book another
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: trip to Puntakana with the girls and I was like,
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: I still had his number and I texted him. I'm like,
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: oh lah, and you know, I was like, you know,
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: I'm calling to Puntakana and he lost his mind because
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: apparently he lost my number. He never had my last name.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: He's been searching for me for years on Marissa from
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Pennsylvania on Facebook and like, obviously that's impossible to find somebody.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: And he just was like, I thought I'd never speak
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: to you ever again, and like this is crazy. He
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: facetimed me immediately just to make sure that it was
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: actually me, and yeah, so then we planned to like
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: meet again, reunite for the first time in several years.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: When I went back to Pluinticana.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: That is so cool the connection you talk about at
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: the karaoke bar the first time around, And that's a
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: value to folks who are listening, who are just getting
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: out of a relationship or something and you are you
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: just on Vaker. It was a quick thing. What is
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: it that made that a different type of connection that
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: was worthy of you at that time paying attention to
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: you know, it was.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: My first time out as a newly single woman. I
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: wasn't really in the market for looking, you know, for
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: a new guy. And there was something about him, the
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: way that our eyes connected, the way that he just
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: made me feel like I was like on a pedestal.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: He just really like we just had a connection. It's
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: very hard to explain, like a connection.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Say you remember how they make you feel that's exactly right.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And he made me feel really special and he
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: made me feel like a life like, wow, I you know,
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: can still be desired by a man.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Now, what was your dating life like after you left
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: that time? I mean he didn't talk to him and
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: the years went by, I mean, yeah, what was dating like?
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: I mean, on and off I'd meet some people, like
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: we date for a few months, but there was never
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: somebody that was the right one, you know, it was.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: You know, a lot of guys are non committed.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Well, we get a bad rap about that sometimes.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I mean some some moment around noncommittal too.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: But you know, the men that I kept finding were
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: non committal or not serious, not ready to like be
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: in a adult relationship. So you know, I just kind
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: of like was doing my own thing.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I'm curious. Obviously, you work in the bridal industry, right,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: you're still at Cleimfeld, which is the storied famous.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: I'm not, actually you're not. I'm not.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: We can get to that later, but at least you
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: were in that field, so weddings, bides, all of that
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: is all around you. Did you want to get married again?
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: No, that's a that's a great question. No. I always
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: said never again. I will never get married again, absolutely not.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: I will date, I will be in a relationship, but
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: I'm never going through with another marriage. And it's shocking
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: to me sometimes that I, you know, even considered getting
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: married again or getting engaged.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Why did you make that declaration?
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: Because the was really tough, was tough, the divorce was tough,
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: and then I have two little boys and bringing another
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: man into my life. And you know, I think that
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: sometimes divorces scar you and you have this idea like
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: I don't ever want to go through this again. You know,
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: I'll date, I'll have fun, I'll live my life, but
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: like to be in a legal marriage with somebody is
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: not something that was ever going to be on my
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: radar again.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: And yet walk in Edward. So you go back to Puntakana,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: to the Dominican Republic and there was a reunion. What
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: was that? Like?
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, it was crazy. So I was with
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: my girlfriends Edward and I decided to meet. It was
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: a Friday night and guess where we went? A karaoke bar.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Why not keep it going?
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: So you know, he pulled up. He decided to pick
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: me up in an uber and he pulled up, got
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: out of the car and it was so surreal, like
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: to see him after all these years, and you know,
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: we gave each other a nice hug and got in
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: the car, went to the uber and it was very weird.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: It's like we knew we had this connection and it
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: was so strong. But it was also like meeting a stranger,
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: you know, So we get settled in, you know, we're
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: having a drink and like it just felt natural, it
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: felt right, It felt like I felt that like connection again.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: And then when we read the karaoke bar, we had
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: our first kiss. And I always say that the first
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: kiss will determine the longevity or the relationship. Oh wow,
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: and it's an important moment.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: We should use that as that quote of the day tomorrow.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I like that kiss will determine the longevity of a relationship.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: The first kiss, you know, you know when you get
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: chills down your spine and you just feel like you're
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: just so connected to this person.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And then when things don't work out, you can reflect
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: back and go, yeah, I kind of knew I'm the
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: first kiss.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: Kiss isn't right, you know, when there's no vibe going on?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: So all right, so fine, you meet up again. Yeah
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: there's a connection again. But how do you go from
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: that to Hey, let's get engaged. Why don't you move
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: to the United States and let's do this ninety day
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Beyonce thing.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: Okay, so there's a lot more to the story. Oh
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: so we had this first kiss, this is like our
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: first date ever, and I go back to my hotel.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie. I did try to get him
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: into my hotel because I needed a little bit more
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: of that kiss. But because it was an all inclusive,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: they're super strict. That's hilarious, super strict. I would not
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: let him in. Please, this could be the love of
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: my life. Please let him come in. And they're like,
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: nocelet Yeah, he's trying to like make deals with the
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: security guard. I'm like, it's not happening. So I didn't
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: get to see him again that trip. That was it
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: what I know, and I had to leave like two
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: days later and I didn't get to see him. It
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: was horrible, but we stayed in touch and from that moment,
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: from the moment I left Puntacana, we never had a
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: lapse of time that we didn't speak. Never. We spoke
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: every day. We would face him every day, and there
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: was a month that went by that we would speak
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: every day and we really get to know each other
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: intimately emotionally, you know who you really are, and it's
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: not about the sex. It's not about like this physical connection.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: It's really about building an emotional connection. Because we're apart,
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: so I decided that I have to go back and
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: see him. So I booked another trip solo by myself,
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: a month later, and you know, I booked a hotel
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: in Puntacana. He came to meet me. We spent like
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: four or five lovely days together and I feel like
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: in that moment we really fell in love, Like we
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: really fell in love so deeply. And I left. We
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: cried and I'm like, am I ever going to see
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: you again? And he was like, we have to, And
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: then the relationship continued. Now I will tell you that
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: we were both in like relationships. I was kind of
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: dating somebody. It wasn't a very serious thing, but it
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: was somebody that was in my life, and he was
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: dating he had a girlfriend. And we made the decision
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: that we're both going to tell our significant others that,
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: you know what, we found somebody else, Like we're going
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: to be in this relationship together. And we both had
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: to break it off with the other people. So so
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: after the trip that I went to go see him
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: and when we fell in love, our love story continued
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: and it was years years of long distance. It was
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: two years of long distance. Now after year one, we
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: applied for a tourist visa because I said, I I
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: don't want to get engaged. I don't want to do
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: this I don't want to have to commit to like
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: a potential marriage, Like, why don't you just get He's
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: never been out of the country and never been on
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: a plane, So I said, why don't you just get
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: a tourist visa, come to the United States, Come stay
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: with me for a few weeks, and see if you
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: like it, See if you feel comfortable here, see if
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: our lives will gel together for a couple of weeks.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: And he got denied, so we had no option. So
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: the option was we have to end the relationship or
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: we have to apply for the K one visa, which
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: is a very difficult decision, especially for me who has
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: decided I was never getting married again. So I had
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: a conversation with my mom and she was like, you
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: know what, she goes, just put the paperwork in, because
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: we knew the paperwork would take at least a year.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: And she said do it. If you change your mind,
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: just cancel the paper or cancel the process. So I said,
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: all right, I'll do it. And the next year we
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: continue to date long distance. I would go visit him
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: every six to eight weeks. Our relationship continued to get
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: stronger and stronger, and at that point I was like, Okay,
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I do feel like this was the right decision to
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: apply for the K one visa.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: You were seeing each other every month and a half, Yeah,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: the two months for how long did.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: That go on? Two years?
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: That's there are people in the US a long distance
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: that don't see each other at all. That's a pretty
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: good commitment.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really grateful that I had the means to
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: do it. You know, I had time off from work
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: that I could, you know, travel when my kids were
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: with my ex husband for his custody days, Like I
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: was able to you know, go and travel them. Yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: So I was very fortunate, and I know that a
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: lot of people don't get to have that opportunity. So
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: I think that that also helped build our relationship and
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: help us get stronger and stronger versus like people that
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: really stay apart.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Rose, you helped me here because we've watched every episode
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: of your current season, and we watch a bunch of
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: seasons of the show, we get a different impression of
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: your relationship. Yeah, listening to you than watching the show.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I know some stuff has to be left on the
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: cutting room floor, but there.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Are a lot of stuff, a lot, but a lot.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: It goes away in explaining or I mean, quite frankly
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: justifying this being a love story and beyond somebody who
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: is trying to track down a dayn Pisa.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And it's also people think that it was this
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: vacation fling and then I decided to bring some stranger
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: to the United States and be with my kids. I mean,
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: we've been dating for a long time. Even my whole
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: family went to Punta Kona at one point to spend
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: time with Edward, including my kids, including my sister and
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: her kids, and my parents. So this was a really
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: legitimate relationship. It wasn't just like a quick fling.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that is where people start to
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: skeptical when they watch a lot of different shows and
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: they kind of blump them all into one. But it
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: is the reason why we do really like this show
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: because it does feel legit. But I didn't even realize
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: how much depth in your relationship actually had because there
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: was a huge backstory before the cameras even started rolling.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: So once you get to this place, everyone's on board,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: so to speak. I'm curious, at what point do you decide, hey,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: let's do this television show, Like, how does the television
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: part of it come into.
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: It, never on the radar. A friend of mine at
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: work had also gone through the K one visa process,
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: so she and I would talk a lot, and she said,
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: you know what, join this Facebook group. It's a great
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: forum for you to ask questions, learn a lot about
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: the whole process. I went into this Facebook group and
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: it was really helpful for me. It's almost like a
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: support group because it's a very hard process, you know.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: And one day I get this Facebook message and it
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: was from a casting director from the show, and she said, Hi,
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: I'm so and So, I'm a casting director for ninety
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: fa FE. Would you be interested in having a conversation?
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: And I laughed, and I like immediately called Edward and
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is a joke, Like it's probably spam.
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: And so I ended up writing back to her and
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: I said, you know, I'd be interested to hear more.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: But it's funny because a lot of the people that
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: knew us said, oh, you're going to do the nine
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: Day fiancee thing. And my immediate response was always like,
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: are you kidding me? Absolutely not, Never in a million
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: years would ever go on that show. But the casting
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: director calls me and I'm like, well, is this meant
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: to be? Is it serendipitous? I don't know. So I
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: had a conversation, one thing led to another, the whole
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: casting process started, and then you know, a few months later,
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: they're like, oh, guess what You've been cast? And I
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: was like, before I even had a chance to say,
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: like yes or no, I was like, Okay, I guess
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: we're doing this. It just it just felt like, you know,
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: they presented this opportunity and I, you know, I ran
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: with it.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: How did that change a relationship if at all?
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: I think I put a lot of pressure on us.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: I think that we knew our whole life was going
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: to be exposed to the public. And you know, no
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: relationship is perfect. We had our ups and downs, even
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: in our long distance relationship. It's not easy, you know.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Like we come from very different worlds, cultural differences. My
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: career versus his career is very different in terms of expectations,
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: My lifestyle is very different in terms of what he
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: used to and I really struggled with the idea of
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: having him come here. I never I never wanted to
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: be in a relationship. I never and all the people
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: that have dated have never been about money. That's not
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: important to me that somebody has money that support me,
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: because I could support myself. But the idea of bringing
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: someone in and like fully supporting them and fully taking
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: care of them and teaching them everything that they had
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: to know was it was jarring to me. It was scary,
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: and you.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Could see how that would take some of the romance
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: out of things. Even possibly it's like you take on
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: more of a maternal role or something, and especially with
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: an age difference, I wonder if that felt overwhelming or
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: it changed just the dynamic of your relationship.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: I think what the age difference is that I never
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: felt like Edward was a kid to me. I never
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: felt like, oh, he was this young guy that wasn't
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: on my level, like in terms of maturity, emotional maturity.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: He's even more mature than I am in that in
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: that realm. But I did feel like there's other aspects
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: of his life that were you know, he hadn't had
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: the same life experiences at all, and so I would
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: have to teach him a lot of these things. And
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: the things that I know and the things that he
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: knows are just different. He knows a lot about baseball,
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: you know, that's great. That's his thing, like, and I
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: don't so I could learn from him in that regard,
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: but you know, it's it's it's just big differences, and
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: and that made us. That made it challenging, especially towards
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: when it got closer to the day that he was
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: about to arrive in the United States, Like my anxiety
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: like skyrocketed. And he even told me he was like,
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: you really changed in these last couple of months, Like
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: because I was scared. I was terrified, like this was real,
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: camera's on you. And then it's like, okay, once you
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: get to the United States, Like what are you gonna do?
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Like not get mad? Like you feel like you're in it,
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: you know, like you feel like like this.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Is a talk tic talk tick talk.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: That's right, it's not a long time.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: That's pressure for anyone.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, can I how do you combat or how much
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: does it annoy you? Or maybe you don't hear it
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: that much? You know the story, it's played out on
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: ninety Day plenty of times over all the seasons. Divorce
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Woman goes down to the Caribbean, makes out with some dude,
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: brings back something. Sometimes it's a twenty four year old guys.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Oh your guys in his thirties. Still I'm saying, if
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: people aren't looking you up and getting your background, there's
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of that background we are just learning here
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: that is missed and the impression is that you're I
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: think you're thirteen years older than he is. Yes, but
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: still does that bother you? Annoy you have? You had
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: to answer those questions to friends and family.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: All the time, all the time, all the time. I
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: mean some of this. I remember being at a party
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: one time and it was a friend of mine's husband
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: or something. I said, you know, I'm dating this guy
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: from the DR and they're like, oh, what are you
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: as green car ticket? And I'm like oh, And it's
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: just it's so insulting actually because I look at them
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: and I say, so, am I not worthy of love? Like?
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: Am I only like being used for a green cart?
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Is that my only purpose? So it's hurtful and you
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: have to you know, everybody in my life had questions.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: Everybody was like, who's this guy? Is he using you? Like?
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: So you just want to get to the country. And
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: I think a lot of people probably like you know,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: there's been other couples on ninety de fiance American woman
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Dominican man, and some of those relationships have not gone right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: We've watched those, yes, yeah, and it always comes down
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: to like, was he really in it for the love
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: or was he in it to get to the country.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: And I had to fight against those ideas and opinions NonStop.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: I still feel like I do something.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Wow, your mom is I liked her a lot watching her.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: She's a tough cookie, she's very protective of you. Yeah, okay,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Actually there were lots of parts of her that reminded
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: me of my mom, and a lot did you see Yes, absolutely,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: it was like, oh my goodness, but no, she was
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: mama bearing and I loved it. But what who has
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: given you the biggest pushback? And how have your kids?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And we saw them excited. You know that, oh yay,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Edward's coming. But that sounds exciting, and then when it happens,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: it's usually a very different experience, or at least it's
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: an amended experience. Yeah, how has it been in your
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: tight circle in terms of pushback?
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: My parents, for sure were the biggest people, Like they
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: had the biggest concern. I hate to talk about money
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: and listen, my parents like they do have money and
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: good for them. My stepdad worked really, really hard. My
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: real dad passed away two and a half years ago,
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: so we're talking about my mom and my stepdad. He's
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: worked his entire life. He's worked his tail off. I mean,
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: he didn't come from money. He was an army veteran.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: You know. He grew up in a small little house
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: in New Jersey with the ceilings were like seven feet.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: You know, he didn't have anything, and he built his life.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: And I commend him for that same thing with my mother,
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: she was a single mom raising me and my sister.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: We grew up in a little house in the Bronx.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: It was my grandmother's house, so we all lived in
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: one little house. Like, I didn't come from money. I
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: didn't like you know, a lot of people have this misconception.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Not the case. I'm a kid from the Bronx. I
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: didn't move to Pennsylvania until I was twenty one. And
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: you know, because now my parents do have wealth and
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: they are enjoying their successes in life, they want to
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: make sure that they're protecting that. You know, I'm sure
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: that there's an inheritance, you know, to come along with,
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: you know, in the event that they pass away, and
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: they want to make sure that I'm protected, my children
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: are protected, and everybody in the close circle. So they
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: were the most concerned, what are you doing, what are
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: you getting into? Are you sure this guy's legit? My sister,
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: my sister's not on the show. She didn't want to participate,
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: but she was also very concerned, and she would say, listen,
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: I hope it works out for you, but like, are
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: you sure you're making the right decision, Like you don't
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: really know what this guy's intentions are. I felt like
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: I did though. I felt like I knew his heart,
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: I knew his intention and we had such a strong
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: and unique love for another that like, I didn't have
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: concerns that he was using me, Like that was never
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: a thought in my mind, but looking from the outside in,
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: everybody feels that way.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: The kids were different, they you know, like again boys
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: or boys, They're like, oh, great, mom is a boyfriend.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: I think the only my older one, Derek, he did
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: have the biggest concern that he didn't want a new
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: man coming into his life that was going to play daddy.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I saw him say that to you, like he can't
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: just come in and expect me to say dad, right, yeah.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and Cole just rolls with it and he's just
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: like whatever, okay, cool. But yeah, Like once the kids
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: met Edward, they loved him. When we all met in
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: Puenta con as a family, they loved him like he's
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: he's thirty's he's a young guy. He's fun. He could
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: play with the kids at a level that I can't.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: And uh, you know, once Edward got to the United States,
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: the kids welcome to min and it was it wasn't
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: a hard transition for us. That's all.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: How about your ex husband, Oh.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: My ex husband, So my ex husband.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: We put that into words what she just did when
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: you said.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: She exhaled.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: He's exhausting an eye roll. He exhausts me. And I'll
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: tell you why. Because he is always going to be
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: the protect protective of the mother of his children. He's
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: super protective of the boys. And he came in with
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: this attitude like I'm gonna be nice, but don't cross me. Now,
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: Edward is like I mean, you've seen Edward on the show.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: He's the sweetest, kindest, like human. He never does anything,
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: He never like starts any drama with anybody. And Michael
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: had this idea that, like, you know, something's not right
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: about him. He also thought, who's this guy from dr
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: using you for a green car? You know, like, and
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: it started off calm, and over the last couple of
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: months things have really escalated. It got kind of ugly.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: He has doubted Edward's intentions. He's been really territorial about
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: the boys and like, you know, and it's just been
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: it's been really really difficult with my ex Wait.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: But is he's upset about something happening with it? But
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: what is it exactly he's pissed about.
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: I think that because Edward is a really strong baseball player,
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: so is Michael, and Derek plays baseball. Michael is the
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: coach of Derek's team, and there's this whole like battle
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: of like who's going to coach Derek better. Now, Edward
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: stays you know, in his own lane and he doesn't
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: try to like interfere too much, but at one point
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: Michael's like, oh, I could really use your help coaching Derek.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: And then when Edward would start getting involved with the team,
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: he'd be like, well, this isn't cool, this isn't I'm
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: not comfortable with this, And it got like there was jealousy.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: It's jealousy.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a cockfit.
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: Sorry, duh.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: What has it been like watching this season? Do you
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: watch it with the boys, like I've always wondered. This
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: is so fun to get to ask.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I watched the show. The boys only want to
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: watch the parts that they're in together. That's fun. I
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: like to, you know, dissect what happens on screen. And
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I sometimes cringe when I see myself or what I
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: was like, Well, parts of me were put into the
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: show and I'm like, oh, you know, like that looks
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: so bad.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: But have you noticed things? I'm curious because we watch
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: a lot of these shows and we'll watch other people
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: be vulnerable and talk about their feelings and their egos
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: and all of these things, and then I'll be able
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: to go, ooh, I think I do that too, or
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: that's what's going on. Like we actually understand how we
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: react by watching other people react. But when it's you
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: watching yourself react, have you changed behavior? Have you changed
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: how you react to things based on how you've seen
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: yourself act on camera?
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: Absolutely? I haven't made like I made an Instagram reel
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: about this like that. I take full accountability I watch
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: myself back and I say, like, I am a giant bitch,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: Like I am bossy. Listen, I'm not gonna lie. I
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: am bossy. I'm a bossy person. But it's because of
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: the role that I had to fulfill for the last
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: seven years that you know that I have to have
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: very good structure in my life. I have to control
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: things because I have two little kids to to make
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: sure are safe and well taken care of for. And
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: I like things a certain way in my house. And
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: it's like kind of funny, It's like, why would I
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: just allow disruption to occur in the house with like,
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: you know, shoes in the house or not having like
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: cleanliness or having the bed made, Like why would I
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: just allow this? Like I like to have things a
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: certain way. Yeah, yeah, So I mean maybe my delivery
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: comes off a little strong and I could have been
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: a little bit nicer. But you have to also remember,
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: like in the ninety days, it was really hard for me.
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: It was super hard because Edward gets off the plane
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: immediately before we even have two seconds together to give
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: each other like a hug and a kiss, cameras are
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: on and you just like, don't have that moment of peace,
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: and the anxiety's high, you know, like he's never been
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: on TV. I've been on minimal TV a couple of
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: episodes to say, us to the dress, but it's like,
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: you know, having your relationship exposed to the world, like
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: you're anxious and you can't relax. And then there's there's
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: a whole backstory about how I had asked Edward to
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: kind of prepare for his arrival in the United States,
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: get a skill, like, you know, save some money, do
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: all of this and you'll see it play out. But
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: it's like he didn't really do that, and that's where
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: my frustrations lie is that he didn't really come prepare.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Well, how much else or what can you tease about
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: the rest of the season as we sit here with
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: you now, we are up to episode what seven? You said?
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I think that's the last one we saw with that
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: episode seven?
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: So how many are left do we have for the season?
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Anybody not sure?
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: But twenty something?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Yes? So, but what else can you tell us or
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: tease folks really need to stay tuned for this season? Well,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I guess even what other big moments are coming for
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: you guys?
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well listen, it only gets worse it only gets
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: worse from here. You know, you're not going to see
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: Marissa all of a sudden become nicer. I think like
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: I hit a peak of like my bitchiness and then
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: you know, I start to calm down a little bit.
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: Oh yes, but it's to be honest with you, guys,
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: it was a really hard ninety days. It was really
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: really hard. I struggled a lot emotionally mentally. You know,
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: my relationship with Edward was not the same. If you know,
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: there was like there's some scenes that you know in
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: the first trailer, you'll see us in a scene where
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: we had like a kind of big blowout fight where
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know who I am anymore.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: And I really felt like I was losing myself and
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: who I am because there was so much pressure that
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: ninety days, Like you said earlier, it was a ticking
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: time momb It really felt like that. And I have
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: the pressure of my family and my friends. Are you
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: making the right decision? And I started I thought I
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: was making the right decision, and then I start to
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: question everything in my life, like am I making the
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: right decision? Is this the right person for me? Am
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: I going to be happy? In the long run, and
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: it was very chaotic.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Would your answer has then been the same if we
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: took the cameras away, would that clock feel the same
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: and that pressure feel the same.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: I do think it would maybe not as intense, and
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: maybe the whole world wouldn't have seen it, seen the
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: really ugly sides to me, But I felt it really strongly,
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: that I felt the pressure of everything, and I was
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: really true to who I was and my real emotions,
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: and that's what you see on TV. So while some
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: people could act nice and happy and like, you know,
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: pretend for the cameras, I didn't, and that's what you saw,
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: the real raw Marissa and her extreme emotions and anxieties,
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: and that's what came out. I mean, there was still
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: nice moments, but there's also a lot of like me
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: feeling like what am I doing?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: But I do think that that's part of the draw
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: to the show, is that it is so real and
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: that we all can relate. We've all felt, in varying
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: degrees the way you felt, like, certainly we know what
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: it's like to have a relationship scrutinized and perhaps viewed
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: through different people's lenses, who all want to have opinions,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: who all want to have judgments, and that does affect
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: your relationship, that does put pressure on it that we
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: understand that to an extent. I'm curious when you you
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: say that you let it all out, you were exactly
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: who you were. I'm do you forget that the cameras
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: are there?
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: Ever?
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Okay? Because that I was just curious because it seems
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: so real. I'm surprised there isn't more of a put
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: on and more of a glossed over effect. I actually
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: think do they just get used to the cameras? Are
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: the camera crew really adept it not really being there
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: even though they're there?
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: Really do forget and even though there's like a camera
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: right here, Like you get really close to your crew,
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: and like, you know, I love the the crew is
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: the best, but like they they kind of come in
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: and you just kind of like accept that they're just
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: like people in your house there all the time, and
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: forget that they're and you don't really The funny thing
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: is you don't even know when they're filming or when
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: they're not. Sometimes cameras are rolling you don't even know it.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: So it's it's it's it's an interesting feeling you do.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: You know, at first you're aware, but then it starts
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: to become just like, oh, this is like normal life. God.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine though, everybody that gets engaged in the
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: United States Americans, you have ninety days to get married
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: that stress. Yes, they gave us ninety days. People are
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: asking us all and we're.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, we gotta, we gotta come up with a date.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: We have to we have to say when we're getting married,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: because yeah, so it's funny. We are engaged, and I
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: actually feel so grateful that we don't have a timeline
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: or some date that we have to get married by
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: or else. Like that is very joy your.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: Engagement, yes, and for us it's like, you know, you also,
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: I didn't have any wedding plans. You know, maybe some
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: people started their wedding planning when they were like eighteen
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: years old. I did not. But you also have this
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: like okay, pending wedding, it's going to happen in ninety days,
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: and like do you move forward with planning a wedding,
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: booking a venue, booking vendors, all this knowing that this
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: may or may not happen. I mean, so think about planning.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: A wedding deposits.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, this is a stressful time in itself, just planning
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: a wedding and now condense that time into ninety days,
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: along with all of the like getting used to each
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: other and the differences and like ironing out all the
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: things that happen when you move in together. Do you
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: guys live together? I'm assuming we do. Yeah, so when
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: you first moved in together, there's a period of adjustment
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: and you know, so think of that, agree plus planning
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: a wedding plus you know it's.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: And we've known each other for ten years before we
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: moved in together, and there still was an adjustment period.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: You mentioned that you're no longer with the in the
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: wedding industry. What are you doing now?
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: And yeah?
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Is that I love an update?
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: I know. So, Yeah, I was in the wedding industry
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: my whole career. I worked at Davis Bridle for twenty years,
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: Kleinfeld for five and I I didn't want to work
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: for somebody anymore. And I I don't know if you
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: know this. It might have mentioned quickly on the show
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: that I'm a bar instructor. You know, a bar is yes,
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: a stylent fitness and I'm a bar instructor, and it's
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: always been my passion and my livelihood. When I step
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: into the studio to teach a class, it brings me
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: so much joy and happiness. And back in twenty twenty,
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: I wanted to buy a studio, but it didn't work
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: out COVID the studio was not valued like appropriately to
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: the sale price, so I abandoned that. That's when I
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: went to go work for Kleinfeldt, and I had this
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: opportunity at the studio that I work at now, and
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: we also have a sister studio, so I bought the studio.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: That's awesome, congratulations.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: So yeah, it's actually when I'm making the big announcement
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: on Monday to the world and then I take over
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: ownership on Wednesday.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Next week's yeah, yeah, that's final. And I love this
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: is always people who are listening are looking for inspiration,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: like a lot of us, many of us, at a
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: certain stage in your life, you get stuck. What you
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: thought was gonna happen, does happened. What you thought was
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: going to work out didn't. So to hear, not only
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: from a relationship standpoint, that you've made or had this
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: beautiful opportunity at a second go of it and look
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: at you career wise doing the same thing.
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's such an interesting parallel too. It's like, you know,
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: in two big aspects of my life, I'm changing a lot.
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I'm super excited about the career change. It's
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: very scary, but I'm super excited.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: You're smiling, you already hear as you're talking.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: I'm ecstatic about this. I mean, it's like my dream.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: It's almost like I still feel like it's a pinch
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: me moment that I'm like, does this really happening? Am
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: I living my dream right now?
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: So filled?
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: The last thing is just for women possibly listening and
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: hear that story. What would you advise folks who do
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: go off on a vacation meet some guy on a vacation.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: We hear stories about meeting folks on cruise lines and
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: things like that, and yes, people come and think it's
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: a green car situation or whatever else. What would you
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: advise women who might meet a guy. Maybe it ain't
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: for everybody, maybe you got some warnings for some red flags.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: But what would you advise folks?
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: I well, first and foremost, follow your heart, because your
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: heart knows there are instincts women have instincts. It's a
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: real thing. And even with my first husband, I knew
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: that there were a lot of red flags that I ignored.
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: I knew it from the very beginning, and I ignored
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: it because I thought that they would change. And if
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: there are no red flags, if your instincts tell you
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: that this is the right person for you, then go
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: with it and take a chance. But also be cautious.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: You know, you have to really keep your eyes open,
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: like what questions are they asking? And they asking you
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: to send a lot of money? Are you asking you?
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: Are they asking to support their family? Like do they
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: really care about you personally? And your heart and your
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: emotional safety? Like these are the things that you have
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: to tap into and pay attention to, because that will
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: tell you whether the person is genuine or if they're
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: using you.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: All right, And I know you can't tell us the
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: outcome because the show is still in the middle of
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: its season. But how hard has it been to keep
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: it all quiet?
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: It's so hard. It's so hard. A lot of people
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: ask me, even like lots of my friends, distant friends,
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: you know, some of my friends that I'm close with.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: No the outcome, but a lot of distant friends are saying,
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: You're not going to tell us what happens, and I'm like, no,
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: you gotta watch.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: It's just it's really hard because it's a big so
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: you amend your life, how you go out, how you
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: interact with people and how like that's that's a that's
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: a huge commitment.
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: It sure is, because obviously if you're together and you
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: got married, you can't go out and hang out and
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: hold hands, and if you broke up, you can't exactly
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: publicly be dating other people because then that would be
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: obviously you're kind of just.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just existing as Marissa right now. I don't
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: know what's happening. I don't know what happens in my life.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, I'll have to watch the show to
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: find out.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Well, Marisa, thank you so much. I can not even
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: tell you how fun it has been to get to
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: know you, to get to hear what actually happens behind
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: the scenes, and to be rooting for you. Thank you,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: whether it's with Edward or not, it's been wonderful to
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: get to know you. And I know you've inspired a
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: lot of folks who are listening.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Oh I appreciate that. Thank you and you guys are
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: so amazing. I loved having a moment with you guys.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much fun here.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Today, well, thank you, thank you, and to our listeners
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: here you can check out ninety Day Fiance Sundays eight
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: pm on TLC and streaming next day on HBO Max.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: And Yes, a reminder to everyone. Are you in a
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: long distance relationship? Are you in your chapter two? Do
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: you need some advice on how to navigate it all? Well,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: we can help in this podcast.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, in so many ways, in so many way. Yeah.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Send us an email, leave us a voice email. All
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: the infos in the show notes. Follow us on socials.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: It's I Do Part two, an iHeart Radio podcast where
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: falling in love is the main objective. Talk soon