Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Trump Talks S__t at the U.N._ Rebrands AI as _Superintelligence_ _ Praises Mamdani _ The Daily Show

Transcript

Trump Talks S__t at the U.N._ Rebrands AI as _Superintelligence_ _ Praises Mamdani _ The Daily Show · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Daily Show.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: I'm Jenny Leidig.
• 0:02
  Speaker 3: We've got so much to talk about tonight. Trump drains
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: the White House press pool. New Jersey continues to be
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: a parody of itself.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: And it's the U.N.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: General Assembly when all the world's countries come together to
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: see if they can get a guest spot on Subway takes.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: So let's get into the headlines. As everyone knows by now,
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Donald Trump banned several news outlets whose coverage he hates,
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: including MSNOW, Politico, CNN, and Salad Digest. By now, all
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: those news outlets are gone, except for CNN, who left
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: behind a suspicious new janitor named Bolf Glitzer.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: You get that story, Bolf.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: This is obviously a sad story, especially for female journalists.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, where are they going to find someone to
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: insult their looks and call them Piggy now?
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: What's that? Oh, the entire internet? Oh, that's great.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: So now, in an act of solidarity, all the TV
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: networks have pulled their coverage and boycotted.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: White House events. Yes. Even Fox News joined the boycott.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Fox News! The channel whose lead story last night was,
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: President has massive hog. This is the smartest thing Fox
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: News has done since tricking Trump into taking Pete Hegseth
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: away from them. But while the media is all ghosting him,
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that won't stop President Trump from getting the
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: word out. Let's see if we can pick up some
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: of the sound from President Trump here in.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: That new helipad.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, so there is no microphone because, there's no microphone
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: because the pool cameras aren't there. Oops. Whoopsie, I'm sorry.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: You're gonna have to speak up. I can't hear you
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: over the sound of you stepping on your own dick.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: I gotta say, it is so peaceful not hearing his voice.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, I can finally be alone with my thoughts.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: I got a lot going on up there. But while
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: the major networks boycotted Trump's helipad reveal, we here at
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: The Daily Show were able to obtain exclusive audio of
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: what he said, because the president's words matter. And the
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: American people deserve to hear the important things that he's saying.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Did anyone ever.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Tell you guys you look like the village people?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: What a great band.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: And they weren't all gay, by the way.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Just muscly.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: If you cover your body in oil and assless chaps,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: people start to assume, you know. But sometimes you just
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: want to show off a straight, firm ass.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: This guy gets it.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Anyway, quick question.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: What's a helipad?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Fascinating. Fascinating stuff.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: So banning the media obviously backfired on Trump and yet
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: another one of his recent losses. The Supreme Court struck
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: down his war on mail-in voting. The Fed raised interest rates.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Spanx just discontinued their line.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Of ankle girdles.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: But Trump needs right now is a little pick-me-up. Maybe
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: he needs to spend some time with someone he loves.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: No, not her. No, not them.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Come on, I'm talking about the person who's the wallpaper
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: on his phone. President Trump met with New York City
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Mayor Zoran Mamdani at Gracie Mansion. Though they're on opposite
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: ends of the political world, obviously, they actually appeared friendly yesterday.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I want him to be a great mayor, and he's
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: certainly got potential, got great potential. So hopefully you're going
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: to be a great one. I'll be able to say
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: you're going to be a great one, and you're off
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to a start.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: You're just such a great mayor, and you've done so much.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: And you know what? You don't have to say it back,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: but I love you, okay? I just said it. I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: love you.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Every time I see these two guys together, it reminds
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: me of when I see videos in my feed of
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: random animals being friends.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Huh.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: The cat knows the duck is a Muslim socialist, right?
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I'm not the only one confused by their relationship.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Mr. Mayor, there aren't too many Democrats who would roll
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: out the red carpet for Donald Trump.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: The president said that he hopes that you'll be a
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: great mayor. I wonder what your thoughts are about that.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I want to ask a little bit about how this
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: meeting came about. Could you tell us a little more?
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Did you invite him? Did you reach out to him?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And what did you guys do inside?
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Did you show him around?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Did you show him what's new? Yeah, follow up. What
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: is with you two?
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: What is happening here? The press is acting the same
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: way I do when my hottest friend dates someone weird-looking.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So he's funny, right?
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Or has he already paid off his house? Now, as
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: much as Trump and Mamdani were all buddy-buddy, there was
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: one important constitutional matter where they differed.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: What's your response to President Trump banning outlets from the
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: White House grounds? You know, I told the president that
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: we're going to have all of the members of the
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: press here on the lawn, and that is something that
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I believe in, as.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Everyone, no matter the opinion or the critique, that we engage.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Mr. President? It's interesting, because they said they were going
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to boycott me, but they never boycott me. So I
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: wasn't very worried about that. Look at all that press.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Two very different approaches to the First Amendment here. It's
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: a real good cop constitutional crisis cop situation. Mamdani's like,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I believe in the free press. And Trump's like, tell
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: me how my ass tastes.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: They need to just.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Come to New York to bro out with Mamdani. It's
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: the UN General Assembly this week. So he'll be meeting
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: with leaders from all around the world to try to
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: solve all the problems caused by himself. One of the
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: biggest problems right now is AI, which many experts worry
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: is on the brink of wiping out humanity.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Luckily, at his speech, Trump offered a solution.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: The United States also totally rejects any attempt to construct
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: a globalist scheme to control for the artificial intelligence, here
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: and after officially called super intelligence, changing the name.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's a relief.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Here, I was scared of artificial intelligence, but now I'd
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: be honored to be murdered by super intelligence.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Problem solved.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: But okay, let's not focus entirely on renaming AI when
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: there's other pressing issues facing the world.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: From this point forward, all of United States documents and
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: hopefully the world's will be changed to used a much
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: more accurate term, super, as opposed to artificial. So it's
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: super intelligence. In other words, welcome to the new world
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: of super intelligence dash SI. SI.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Did you just say dash SI?
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Speaking of super intelligence, congrats on reading the punctuation.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: On the prompter.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Also, nobody's gonna say SI.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: That's already what we call Sports Illustrated. It's taken.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: You, of all people, should respect Sports Illustrated. The Swimsuit
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: Issue is your favorite book. This is so embarrassing for America.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: We're all used to Trump's weird obsession with rebranding things,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: but this is in front.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Of the world.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: It's the geopolitical version of your dad walking around in
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: his underwear when your friends are over. Oh, my God, Dad,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Trinidad and Tobago can see your butt crack. But Trump
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: didn't spend the whole speech trying to make superintelligence happen.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: He also spent plenty of time doing his usual routine,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: picking fights with as many countries as possible.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Cuba, where the communist regime is under great pressure, it's
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: an absolutely failed state. Mexico is the epicenter of the
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: cartel violence. The cowards and traitors would love to say
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: the United States is low on munitions, but.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: That's not true.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Do I annihilate the Islamic Republic? Do I drive them
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: into hell with no chance of survival and no hope?
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: I have never seen someone so unbothered.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: By the threat of annihilation.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Trump is ranting about destroying his country, and this man
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: doesn't even look like he's paying attention. Imagine what he
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: must be thinking.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: What are the odds?
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: And Iran's not the only one tired of the Trump shtick.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Look at how Cuba reacted to his threats.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: It's failing like never before, and it will fall. Marco
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Rubio is handling a negotiation. He's deep into negotiations with Cuba.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Let's see what happens. We're not allowed a haven for
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: foreign adversaries to threaten America.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: They just walked out.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Do you know how embarrassing it is for somebody to
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: walk out while you're threatening them? Trump was like, you
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: want to go?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: And they were like, yeah, I do. I'm very bored.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I want to go.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: But I think it's very telling that even after spending
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: the whole speech going aggro on the world, Trump still
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: found time for his archist nemesis.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: It's an honor to be here. I'm surprised that CNN
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: is here covering me. You shouldn't be here. You should not...
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: You should not be here covering me. You said you
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: weren't going to cover me. You shouldn't be covering me.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, I say this as a woman, and with all
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: due respect to women everywhere, but have you ever.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: seen such a bitch.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Such a bitch. This here is what the press ban
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: is about. It's what all the UN threats are about. Yes,
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: this man is a wannabe authoritarian, but he's also a
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: wannabe real housewife. Picking fights wherever he goes, whenever he can,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: because he's a messy bitch who lives for the drama.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: If you're worried about what Trump might do when the
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: cameras aren't on him, don't be. Because this thirsty attention
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: slut would never let that happen. After all, without the
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: media there to fight with, Trump would have to be
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: alone with his own thoughts, whatever those are.