Latest / Voices for Voices® / Empty Seats: Why I Haven't Been to a Ballgame Since Dad Died | Ep 265

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Empty Seats: Why I Haven't Been to a Ballgame Since Dad Died | Ep 265 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm your host.
• 0:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Founder of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes.
• 0:13
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• 0:15
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• 0:27
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• 0:31
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• 0:46
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• 0:56
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• 2:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Voices for voices.
• 2:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You'll see the purple hands that you see in our logo and you'll know that you're in the right place.
• 2:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a beautiful day.
• 2:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Where I'm at today, there is blue skies, white, puffy clouds.
• 2:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is blue skies, white puffy clouds, it is hot, it is humid, but it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, as Fred Rogers would say.
• 2:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm reminded on this day.
• 3:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Say, and I'm reminded on this day as well as other days, but today just hit me a little bit differently than usual, which is why I want to talk about it, because I think a lot of us have gone through something very similar, because I think a lot of us have gone through something very similar and I didn't start to realize that until maybe a couple months ago to the full extent.
• 3:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And what is that or what are those?
• 3:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So, as we grow, as we go from children and to adolescents, to young adults, to adults, we have certain traditions that we like to do, or certain vacations, certain events, certain you fill in the blank that over the course of the year that we do as family, as friends, as members of a company.
• 4:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of those things could be volunteering time for an hour each year with a charity, which we would be grateful if you do that, if you would do that with us, voices for Voices, and you can reach out to us directly to ask how you're able to help, because we would be beyond the moon if you selected that, if your company events, those time spent together, hobbies, shared interests where we would do things together.
• 5:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'll give my experience.
• 5:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: As far back as I can remember so I'm in my 40s now, age-wise, as far back as I can remember, my mom's mom and dad, so my grandma and grandpa on my mom's mom and dad, so my grandma and grandpa on my mom's side.
• 6:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They lived in a greenhouse and so we call them grandma and grandpa.
• 6:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Greenhouse Keeps it easy for children and to this day that's how I recognize them.
• 6:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're in heaven now, but I still recognize them as Grandma and Grandpa Greenhouse.
• 6:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're still my Grandma and Grandpa.
• 6:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: On my dad's side, my dad's mom and dad, they lived in a White House Not the White House, but a White House and so we would refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa.
• 6:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: White House.
• 7:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For us growing up, and it's easy to to associate with who we were meeting for dinner or lunch or for an event, and so my mom, her parents, grandma and grandpa Greenhouse, as far back as I can remember, and I don't know how many times this summer or how many times a year we would do it, but I remember my grandpa greenhouse having a, a Buick, and we would have my grandma greenhouse, my grandpa greenhouse, my mom, my dad, my sister and myself, greenhouse, my grandpa greenhouse, my mom, my dad, my sister and myself that's not six people, and we will be riding in the same same car, and so, me being the youngest, you know kind of that center console and this particular car lifted up.
• 8:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I was the smallest, so I would.
• 8:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My grandpa Greenhouse would be driving, so he'd be sitting to the left of me and my dad would be sitting to the right of me and I'd be in the middle, all up front, and then in the back it'd be my grandma greenhouse, my sister and my mom, and so the six of us we would.
• 8:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, I don't remember exactly when it started, what age I was, but I remember that one of the things that we would do is we would gather on a Saturday or a Sunday.
• 9:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would pack the cooler full of sandwiches, ham, salami, water, maybe juice, maybe some watermelon.
• 9:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we would pack all that.
• 9:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would drive the from my grandma and grandpa's house Maybe it was an hour, given the side roads and that but regardless we would gather and we would drive up to where the baseball team, the Cleveland Indians, were playing at the old municipal stadium and we would arrive early.
• 10:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know exactly if it was an hour and a half, if it was an hour, I don't know.
• 10:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That part doesn't matter, but we would drive up together, we would park and then we would eat lunch at the car.
• 10:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So pop the trunk open up the car and we would eat, we would get hydrated and we would just be Just be hanging out Getting ready to attend the ball game Baseball game.
• 11:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once we were finished with lunch, we would walk I believe it was across the street, after looking both ways, making sure that the coast was clear, and we would together, as the six of us, we would cross the street and we would have our ticket Back in the day.
• 11:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We had the paper tickets and the attendant would take part of it all, just so that you were attending that particular game, so nobody could reuse the ticket.
• 11:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what that main idea is, and so we would go to the game we would watch.
• 12:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The ball team wasn't, you know, the Cleveland Indians.
• 12:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They weren't the best at those times.
• 12:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So a lot of games where we would attend and others, the team wasn't really that good.
• 12:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They weren't able to be as competitive as we would have wanted them to be, but it didn't matter, because we were spending time together as a family.
• 12:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We were doing something that we all enjoyed watching baseball.
• 12:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was playing baseball, my sister was playing baseball, my sister was playing softball, and so playing ball was just something that really ran in the family, something we liked to do.
• 13:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And when I look back now at those times and again I can't turn back the clock, but I miss those times.
• 13:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss my grandma and grandpa greenhouse.
• 13:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I also miss my grandma and grandpa lighthouse, grandpa Greenhouse.
• 13:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I also miss my grandma and grandpa Whitehouse.
• 13:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My dad passed last year.
• 13:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I greatly miss my dad, and so we would go to these ball games, maybe once a year.
• 13:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't remember exactly how many we went to.
• 13:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just remember sitting in the middle and there was a little circular compass and I would try to play with it and my grandpa would say, hey, let that go.
• 14:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But again.
• 14:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was a kid and I thought it was the coolest thing.
• 14:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It showed us what direction we were going.
• 14:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We didn't have phones, we didn't have GPS.
• 14:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: At those times we had to use our minds, our brains.
• 14:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd been somewhere before that we're able to recall.
• 14:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I miss those and while those days, those times happened 30, 35 years ago, I miss them, I miss ago.
• 14:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss them.
• 14:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss again.
• 14:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss the people.
• 14:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we didn't have to always be talking, didn't always have to have a conversation.
• 15:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just enjoyed being together and going to ballgames.
• 15:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And after the ballgames we would stop on the way home at a restaurant that was known for their chicken and we would eat dinner and then we would drive home to my grandma and grandpa's greenhouse and then we would drive home to our house.
• 15:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I miss those.
• 15:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm sure you have similar stories, similar experiences where you know we wish we could turn back the clock.
• 15:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you're enjoying those experiences now, just soak them in.
• 16:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know we all have our phones, a great majority of us have our phones and we're just addicted to them.
• 16:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The checking social media, whatever.
• 16:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Addicted to them.
• 16:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The checking social media, whatever.
• 16:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That part I'm grateful for.
• 16:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When those experiences that I was recalling that we didn't have those.
• 16:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We were just human beings spending time with each other and doing something we like.
• 16:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so my grandma and grandpa greenhouse when they passed, and we would kind of continue a little bit of that tradition, except we wouldn't usually pack lunches because a lot of the ballgames we'd go to would be in the evening, and so it'd be after my dad got off work.
• 17:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so there was, there's this hot dog stand set up about a block away from the ballpark, away from the ballpark, and the same experiences that I was having and had with my grandma and grandpa green house, my mom, my dad, my sister, me, I was having those with my dad, and so we would.
• 17:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes we would know, hey, we want to go see this particular team or this particular pitcher is going to be on the hill and pitch and we want to watch, and so sometimes again, we would have it planned where we would be going to a game.
• 18:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would be going to a game.
• 18:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would say, oh, next Wednesday, and then we would go Other times.
• 18:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It would be a spur of the moment where Dad would get home from work and he would say, hey, you want to go to the game and it wasn't planned but I wanted to.
• 18:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, I didn't say it a lot and I think we're all different, didn't do a whole lot of verbalizing and talking with my dad, it was just more the comfort of being with him, being around him, knowing that he loves me, he cares for me, and so we would go to games and he would do his thing.
• 19:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He would most infancy.
• 19:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would go to the same hot dog vendor.
• 19:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would grab a couple hot dogs Because we're able to save a little bit more money than making purchases inside the stadium, and so this happened for years.
• 19:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we would not only if my dad and I would go, but my mom and my sister and the four of us would go, or a friend of mine we would go, we would try to park in the same place, we would again grab a couple hot dogs or what have you, and then we would go into the stadium and dad loved watching the uh, the starting pitchers warm up, so that was where he would spend, kind of those first minutes in the stadium.
• 20:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And a lot of times I would go, I would go to where the TV set was or they were doing the pregame and I would try to, you know, be on the back, be behind the announcers and going through the pregame show, you know, to try to get on TV.
• 20:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes I did, and then I would sometimes then meet up with my dad and we would.
• 20:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was a certain spot where we would stand near home play, above the seats, and there would be a couple people that it wouldn't matter if we went to one game a year or we would go to five games or what.
• 21:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These were people that we didn't know outside of going to the ball game and we would, literally and figuratively, just we would stand there with with these gentlemen and talk about the game and talk about the players and talk about oh, the pitcher doesn't have it today and you know their fastball is not registering you fast, as it had been, or I don't know why they didn't make this play or that play.
• 21:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we were just talking and it didn't matter what any of us did outside of the stadium at that time.
• 21:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was just a group of people there watching the ball game and just having conversations.
• 21:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this happened for years.
• 22:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There were some years where we may have attended one ballgame and we would go to next year and the people would remember us, they would remember, and we would just pick up where we left off, talking about the ballgame, talking about the team, talking about the chances in the playoffs and all these just human communication hanging out.
• 22:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're all watching, we make a comment here, there, and we would do these for years and years and years.
• 22:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And to this day I can't remember any of their names and to this day I can't remember any of their names.
• 22:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I remember exactly where we would go and stand, and there's been times over the last couple years when I made it to some games where I wouldn't stand there but I'd walk by and there'd be a group of people three or four people, and maybe one of them I would recognize, and so that was something, that we weren't making money doing, that we weren't talking about money.
• 23:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, we might have talked about how much the players were making and how they weren't playing up what they were making, but it didn't matter what any of us did outside of the stadium, didn't matter what job, what anything, we were just there hanging out.
• 23:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so it was kind of like a family of sorts when, you know, we would stand in a particular order and somebody would go get a hot dog or a drink, and so we would stand there and when they come back we, you know, give them their spot back and you know, and if we were, you know, if we made it earlier at a particular game, then the same thing would happen.
• 24:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was just, it was just fun times and I just look back and think of how, how small, how small experiences like that look today, but how much it meant to when those happened and I was able to spend that time with my dad and again, we didn't have to talk a whole lot, we were just watching the ball game and we make a comment here or there, and we would nod and shake our heads and throw our hands up and there's a home run, we would clap and give high fives and we didn't know these people outside of that particular time, that particular game or those games.
• 25:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I was kind of a little bit of a ritual that when I would go to a game with my dad, that we would do, and then the last couple years that my dad and I, when we would go to games, we'd have that same pregame ritual where we'd go to the hot dog stand.
• 25:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, we wouldn't, we didn't converse and know, know the hot dog vendor outside of the different games, and again we could go to one game and show up and then the following year we could go and they would remember us and we would just have, you know, small talk and um, and I think those are just so like, so cool.
• 26:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I miss those experiences.
• 26:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss going to the ball games with my dad.
• 26:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss those experiences.
• 26:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss going to the ballgames with my dad.
• 26:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss going to the ballgames with my family.
• 26:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I miss going to the hot dog stand that's a block away.
• 26:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Who, I believe, is that his son has taken over Again.
• 26:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know his name, I just I think I remember a couple years ago when we went, that you know, the sun had taken over the hot dog stand again.
• 26:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know that it's the super lucrative occupation, it didn't matter and it doesn't matter.
• 27:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was about the experiences and the moments spent together with me and my family and loved ones.
• 27:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That that's what meant, and it means a lot, the last couple of years before my dad passed, when him and I would go to a game, we would stop at the hot dog stand, we'd go into the game together.
• 27:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My dad would go to the normal spot where he'd watch pregame warm up, the pitchers practice Before the game started.
• 27:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I would go to you know where the TV set is and try to wave and get on TV and then text my mom.
• 27:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A lot of times we would watch the games on TV and so she would say have you seen?
• 28:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Take a picture of the TV.
• 28:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so she would say have you seen?
• 28:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Take a picture of the TV.
• 28:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and then after that I would go to the home run porch, which was in left field, and the same thing, the same type of camaraderie people I don't know never met before.
• 28:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I may see them once a year at a game or twice or three times, and I would, instead of going to our seats.
• 28:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes we would go to our seats, but me and my dad we just liked to stand, I think.
• 28:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when he was watching the pitchers warm up and I was on the home run porch in left field watching the pitchers warm up, and I was on the home run porch in left field, you know they would.
• 28:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know some, you know we would heckle the left fielder different times and they would turn around and laugh and sometimes they'd comment you know, some home run balls would come over and but we would just, we would just be at the ball game and enjoying it, whether we're winning, whether we're losing.
• 29:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was, it's just something that we as a family, that we again going all the way back to when you know, over 30 years ago for me, when I, when we were attending games with my grandma and grandpa, greenhouse, and we would go up and we would sit together and uh that.
• 29:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But you know, as as we we grew up and then that's when you know, when my grandma and grandpa passed, we were growing up and so we would kind of do our own routine, fast forward to prior to my dad passing.
• 30:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He would know where he could find me on the home run porch, and so he could watch them warm up and he could, you know, walk around the different areas to get a different view of the ball game.
• 30:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then it might be the third or fourth inning and then I would look back and I would see my dad there, and then we would just hang out, we'd watch the game, might walk around, get a couple different views.
• 30:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's see how fast somebody's fastball is, and you know, the breaking ball, the curveballs, and other times we would go up to our seats and so I miss that, didn't and doesn't matter how good the team is.
• 31:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just like to do that was one of the.
• 31:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just like to do, that was one of the things we like to do.
• 31:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when my dad passed last year, he was sick for a little less than a year, so it had been at least a year plus since I had been to a ballgame with my dad and that we had been to ballgames.
• 31:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when you pass is why this is important too this particular episode is we haven't been to.
• 32:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I haven't been to a ballgame since then.
• 32:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's been maybe two years since I've been to a ball game.
• 32:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My mom probably the same, I think, my sister and brother-in-law and nephews, I think they've gone to some games.
• 32:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But from my perspective, from my perspective, it brings up and it would bring up, you know, those those strong memories of so many years of of going to ballgames and just spending time together, even the rides to and from the game, of going to ballgames and just spending time together, even the ride to and from the game.
• 32:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It might be 40 minutes or so when we moved and that, and so I'm a little bit afraid of going to the game because my dad won't be with me.
• 33:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My dad won't be with me and my wife and my daughter and my sister and my brother-in-law and my nephews and my mom, and so I miss those and I'm afraid.
• 33:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not that I physically can't go to the game, to a game, but because we have been to so many games together and where it's been so much like so much free time going to ballgames over the years, it would make me miss my dad all the more, and I know he's in heaven, he's watching over, but it's something that's hard, it's hard to think about, and so I haven't been to a ballgame in a couple years, and it's okay.
• 34:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Same with my mom.
• 34:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My mom hasn't been to the ballgame in a couple years, and it's okay.
• 34:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So there's things that we're we're doing, things that we're we're doing, things that we change over the years, and it's okay.
• 34:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's okay to take your time before moving on and not moving on, but before jumping back in to an event or things you would do with family, take your time.
• 35:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So until next time, please be a voice for you or somebody in need.
• 35:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And thank you so much for joining us.