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Bonus IMPROV - A Reluctant Hang · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends bonus improv joe can we get a suggestion from you please
• 0:25
  then i guess you can thank you your suggestion is acquaintance acquaintance
• 0:35
  acquaintance do you think there's a person named acquaintance out there
• 0:44
  yeah got kind of it's kind of a nice word acquaintance acquaintance it's it's a nice
• 0:50
  yeah it's a nicer word than what it means i think yeah acquaintance sounds like it should be like
• 1:00
  better than friend yeah it almost sounds like like a like a tryst like a love affair
• 1:06
  yes i had an acquaintance i had an acquaintance yeah tell me about your acquaintance stop
• 1:11
  it was nothing like that we're just friends it's not not to the level of acquaintance yeah
• 1:17
  Just some on top of the girdle stuff.
• 1:21
  No under the corset.
• 1:24
  My fingers.
• 1:25
  My fingers are pinched.
• 1:28
  No.
• 1:32
  Yeah.
• 1:33
  Most of the people you know, I feel like they're acquaintances.
• 1:35
  Yeah, that's true.
• 1:37
  Is it just me or does acquaintance imply a positive feeling towards the person?
• 1:47
  hmm i don't know i think it's let's let's think about it oh how do you know linda
• 1:56
  oh she's just an acquaintance i have i think it's kind of neutral actually really i don't
• 2:04
  know why i think it's like it's acquaintance it's like uh if we knew each other better we'd
• 2:08
  be friends but we don't know each other that well yet i would call that in queue in queue yeah
• 2:16
  what's your relationship to jack oh he's in queue
• 2:19
  hmm like he's he's up next kind of a thing yeah we don't i don't know about him yet
• 2:23
  yeah that's cute
• 2:26
  oh he's in queue yeah yeah he's in queue anon um he's in queue it's cute right it's in cute
• 2:35
  yeah yeah i'm happy with most people i know being acquaintances
• 2:42
  yeah I'm fine with that too
• 2:43
  because I don't
• 2:44
  I can't do shallow
• 2:45
  friendships really
• 2:46
  I can
• 2:48
  I mean like
• 2:49
  it's fine to like
• 2:50
  have a good relationship
• 2:52
  with someone
• 2:52
  but like
• 2:52
  I used to have a friend
• 2:53
  who would
• 2:54
  go out with these girls
• 2:55
  like to party
• 2:56
  like she would call them
• 2:57
  when she wanted to like
• 2:58
  party
• 2:58
  and I'd be like
• 3:00
  I don't really like these girls
• 3:02
  she's like yeah I don't either
• 3:02
  I'm like
• 3:03
  why are we
• 3:05
  we're hanging out
• 3:06
  she's like
• 3:06
  ah it's just nice
• 3:07
  to have someone around
• 3:07
  it's like
• 3:07
  that could never be me
• 3:08
  yeah
• 3:09
  I guess I couldn I couldn have the kind of friendship where I call people like where I actively seek people out that I don really like Like that kind of I couldn do that
• 3:20
  But if someone's around and it's like, those are the people I feel like, you know, they're there and.
• 3:27
  They're there.
• 3:28
  They're there.
• 3:30
  But yeah, if I'm asking you to do something with me, like, hey, do you want to go do this?
• 3:36
  Then you're my friend.
• 3:37
  Yeah.
• 3:38
  Good to know.
• 3:39
  Yeah.
• 3:39
  I will cherish every future invitation.
• 3:44
  Do you think any of the people that are listening right now are wondering,
• 3:47
  oh no, am I a shallow friend?
• 3:50
  Or am I a real friend?
• 3:52
  I think if they care enough to wonder,
• 3:55
  they have the makings of a good friend.
• 3:56
  Yeah.
• 3:57
  And don't worry, if you're a shallow friend,
• 3:59
  you can always subscribe.
• 4:00
  Oh, well, I guess it's subscribers only.
• 4:04
  I was going to try to incentivize people to subscribe.
• 4:07
  Well, I think we have yet to put things behind a paywall.
• 4:14
  Subscribe in your hearts, listeners.
• 4:15
  I think that's...
• 4:16
  2026 is going to be the year of the paywall.
• 4:21
  Oh, yeah.
• 4:21
  So you better binge it now.
• 4:23
  We're just trying to get...
• 4:24
  We're like drug dealers trying to get people hooked.
• 4:27
  Yeah.
• 4:28
  Here's our sample drug cast.
• 4:30
  Yeah.
• 4:32
  Don't even think about witnessing us robbing a trade, okay?
• 4:36
  Yeah.
• 4:36
  Or we will shoot you.
• 4:38
  We will shoot you.
• 4:39
  Yeah.
• 4:39
  Good callback.
• 4:43
  Good callback to something that they may or may not be listening to in the next episode.
• 4:50
  And now, improv.
• 4:58
  Hey, Bill.
• 5:00
  Hey.
• 5:01
  Thanks for coming.
• 5:03
  I just had no other options.
• 5:05
  oh wait what do you mean you had no other options well all my real friends were just busy or dead
• 5:14
  so you know i didn't want to be alone today and i knew it was your birthday so i thought
• 5:20
  let me just call him get this over with wait wait you didn't this wasn't
• 5:30
  this is like a
• 5:32
  a reluctant hang
• 5:34
  you're like my best friend
• 5:37
  reluctant is generous
• 5:38
  best friend?
• 5:40
  you're hilarious
• 5:42
  that's so funny
• 5:44
  no no
• 5:46
  I only
• 5:49
  hang out with people that I'm like
• 5:50
  genuinely friends with that I'm close with
• 5:53
  I mean I helped
• 5:55
  you move
• 5:55
  when Linda left
• 5:58
  you were crying and crying and i was there for you and her i liked
• 6:04
  wait so you're on my birthday you're telling me i'm not really a friend oh that reminds me
• 6:14
  i got your card oh don't bother to open it but there's a message in it
• 6:18
  it says
• 6:23
  sorry and then that so sorry and it shows a cat and some spilled milk and then the sorry is crossed out
• 6:35
  and it just says birthday question mark in your handwriting.
• 6:39
  You're welcome.
• 6:40
  I am going to need that back.
• 6:41
  It's in mechanical pencil.
• 6:42
  I plan to reuse the card.
• 6:44
  Oh.
• 6:46
  Oh, so I was all excited for, like,
• 6:50
  the fun birthday hang we were going to have.
• 6:53
  oh good you should be excited uh here's a cupcake oh hey thanks man you remembered cupcakes are my
• 7:02
  favorite yeah oh did i say cupcake i meant bran muffin oh sorry it just looked like a cupcake that's
• 7:11
  why i said cupcake i ate the cupcake on the way here and then i lit the candle and i blew it out
• 7:17
  and I made a wish.
• 7:18
  But you were home,
• 7:19
  so there goes that.
• 7:21
  Whoa.
• 7:24
  Oh, man.
• 7:27
  You wish that I,
• 7:28
  you wish to not see me?
• 7:30
  That was your,
• 7:30
  that was your wish on my birthday?
• 7:33
  I'm gonna be honest, Bill.
• 7:34
  The wish was a lot darker than that.
• 7:37
  Um,
• 7:37
  so happy 58th?
• 7:41
  31.
• 7:43
  Hmm.
• 7:45
  That,
• 7:45
  say they say the sun's rough oh it is well hey what do i work construction what are you what do
• 7:53
  you it's not that's not cool man i can't get out of the sun god this is turning out to be one of
• 7:58
  the worst birthdays no no tell me tell me what's new with you and i'll i'll do my best to stay alive
• 8:05
  um
• 8:09
  well
• 8:10
  I uh
• 8:12
  hold on I gotta check this
• 8:15
  she's so funny
• 8:18
  god I love her
• 8:19
  god I gotta send her a real cupcake
• 8:22
  wait what are you
• 8:24
  wait you have other cupcakes
• 8:26
  you're just withholding them from me
• 8:28
  uh
• 8:30
  no
• 8:32
  no I
• 8:34
  I know your lying voice.
• 8:39
  Hey.
• 8:40
  We're best friends.
• 8:41
  I know your lying voice.
• 8:43
  I need marrow.
• 8:45
  Oh.
• 8:46
  I was just about to tell you what I found out.
• 8:49
  Oh, what is it?
• 8:50
  What did you find out?
• 8:51
  Make it interesting.
• 8:52
  I'm falling asleep over here.
• 8:54
  I have marrow cancer.
• 8:56
  I can't use that.
• 8:58
  I mean.
• 8:59
  Sorry.
• 9:01
  Oh.
• 9:02
  I guess.
• 9:02
  Hey.
• 9:03
  I'm just going to.
• 9:04
  We've got my stuff.
• 9:05
  We both...
• 9:06
  Hey, that's something we have in common.
• 9:07
  We both have bad marrow.
• 9:09
  My marrow's fine.
• 9:10
  Well, then why do you need marrow?
• 9:12
  Because I want it.
• 9:15
  You're hoarding marrow?
• 9:20
  Wow.
• 9:21
  Can we not talk about your cancer on your birthday?
• 9:25
  Yes.
• 9:25
  Thank you, Philip.
• 9:26
  Finally.
• 9:27
  Something nice.
• 9:29
  So...
• 9:29
  I want to talk about my aunt's cancer.
• 9:31
  Oh, God.
• 9:32
  Oh.
• 9:32
  so we're still going to be talking cancer i just yeah but i really want her to live in
• 9:36
  and she going to be fine because it already healed um but the memory of it can you refer me to her doctor or i i wouldn want to put
• 9:50
  my name on that um have you tried
• 9:58
  that's a i'm out of ideas
• 10:03
  have i tried nothing
• 10:07
  well you probably want to get to bed it's three i could go if you want
• 10:16
  leave me alone on my birthday i get well i feel like i'm losing my marrow i've lost my best friend
• 10:26
  now at this point how could things get any worse
• 10:31
  oh hey this is good my mom's calling
• 10:38
  she's probably calling to wish me a happy birthday
• 10:42
  yeah go ahead take it hello hi honey oh hey mom thanks so much for calling i've
• 10:52
  i've been hoping to hear a friendly voice is your friend there
• 10:57
  Philip?
• 10:59
  Yeah
• 11:00
  Yeah, I'm Philip
• 11:02
  Philip's here, yeah, yeah
• 11:03
  Let him know we're all waiting for him over at the
• 11:06
  Peter Piper
• 11:07
  Wait
• 11:10
  You guys are throwing me a surprise party at Peter Piper?
• 11:13
  For my birthday?
• 11:16
  Click
• 11:17
  Uh
• 11:20
  What's going on over there?
• 11:25
  Apparently you're
• 11:26
  your presence is requested
• 11:28
  out of Peter Piper.
• 11:32
  I hope I don't take it the wrong way.
• 11:34
  Would it be cool if you
• 11:35
  drop me off over there?
• 11:38
  I know you have nothing else going on.
• 11:40
  Sure.
• 11:41
  Thanks.
• 11:42
  Climb on my back.
• 11:43
  Of course.
• 11:43
  I'll piggyback you there.
• 11:44
  Thanks.
• 11:45
  We better start now.
• 11:46
  Hi-ya!
• 11:47
  Cut to Peter Piper.
• 11:51
  Happy birthday, Bill!
• 11:53
  Happy birthday!
• 11:54
  Happy birthday!
• 11:56
  What? What's going on?
• 11:58
  Ah, you want to know what's going on, buddy?
• 12:01
  Yeah.
• 12:02
  Psych! It ain't for you!
• 12:06
  No!
• 12:07
  Bottle of tears. Bottle of tears.
• 12:11
  Mmm.
• 12:12
  That is good.
• 12:15
  Don't drink my tears.
• 12:18
  Just kidding.
• 12:19
  Happy birthday, Bill.
• 12:20
  Oh, thanks, guys.
• 12:23
  Anne, open your present. I want you to see what it is.
• 12:26
  marrow oh you guys love you bill oh wait what's this growth on the marrow
• 12:37
  can't have everything
• 12:40
  and zine
• 12:56
  you