Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Tools for Choosing to Stand Up with Gabrielle Carteris

Transcript

Tools for Choosing to Stand Up with Gabrielle Carteris · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Gabrielle
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Carterras has been fighting for workers' rights for decades. No
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: matter what industry you're in. Gabrielle has some solid tips
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: for finding your voice, standing your ground, and supporting one
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: another along the way. You won't want to miss this.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: People really look to us as women who made it
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: in a tricky time in the industry, and I'm not
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: really sure if it's that much different now.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would imagine it's not.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Can you please help our listeners, no matter what industry
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: they are in, stand up for themselves. Let me ask you,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: in the negotiation process right out of the gate, should
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: women always ask for more money? What's the smartest way
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: to do that?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Well, first of all, it depends what you want out
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: of the negotiation, and negotiations not only about money, right,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: So if you're saying that women are paid less than
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: men and that women should demand to be able to
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: have equal pay equal pay, then I absolutely, but that's
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: not always what it negotiation is about. But so there
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: can be many things. But yes, I think that it
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: is very important and it's not just a woman. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: think men should demand it as well. But anybody who
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: does commensurate work to somebody. Yes, we should all be
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: paid fairly and it shouldn't matter about our sex. That
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: this is a question for me as enraging. I mean,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: it's just it doesn't make sense to me at all.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: If my work is really good, regardless of my sex,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: and this person's work is really good, we should be paid.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I don't want to have to go in have to
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: make a deal.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's ridiculous that we have to fight to have
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: equal pay.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: It's disgusting, it's terrible.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, especially when it's you know, but our apples
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to Apple's, like we've all had the same experience. We
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: both bring so much to the table.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I think it's actually when the whole thing
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I told you about with Luke and I, for me
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: that was like a that was a really aha moment
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: in my life.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Right yeah.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So don't be afraid.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Or be afraid. Fear is not a bad thing. I
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: think we all have fear. It's learning to let fear
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: walk by your side. You can walk side by side
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: with fear and still do things in your life you don't.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Fear is something that dissipates only when we move forward.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: It doesn't you can't push it away. So you can
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: be afraid but still know that you have value. You
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: can be afraid and you can still go and be
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: clear about what you deserve. And you don't have to
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: have shame about that, right, you know. I mean, we
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: don't have to apologize for the work that we do.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I mean it's one thing to say I want you
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: to pay me, but I'm not going to show up.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to do a very good job.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: But if you're showing up and you're doing that job,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: that shouldn't be a question. That should not be a debate. Yes,
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: So you can have fear, I'm not going to stay,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: don't it fear. Regardless of your fear, know that you
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: have value and that nothing will change unless you ask
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: for it. Nothing will change really unless you ask for it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So true, once you're in a job and you're feeling
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: discriminated against or harassed in some way, who do you
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: go to? Do you go to human resources? Because I've
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: been told that human resources are there for the company,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: not so much the individual.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: I think it depends on the company. I just I
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: hate blanket stuff, so I can't say there are other
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: HR there's people I know who work in HR who
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: are very high integrity, and they are really they're doing
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: the work of HR. But just like in any place,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: you can be in another place that's not like that,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: but if they're not doing it. Look, I'm the kind
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: of person if something really bothers me, I'll be loud
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: and proud. So I can't. I know that that might
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: not be the path of everybody. But even like when
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I was injured, and you know it was you know,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: the producers were so terrible me. The producer who was
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: so bad I went public. He couldn't believe I went
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: into the press and there were a lot of repercussions
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: for that. He gave out my personal address, He did
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: all these things that the courts found him, you know,
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: to be wrong, and he was fine for But I
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: say be proud and loud, and if you think you can't,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: that's only a thought that we don't have to let
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: our fear be the thing that stops us again. It
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: can exist at the same time as you walk forward.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: It's so good to remember that two things can exist
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: at the same thing. Yeah, So, do you have any
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: suggestions or maybe people should try different ways like to
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: document things to protect themselves before they go into report something.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Well, first of all, I always think it's not only
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: good to write down information to be specific, but it's
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: also I respond, I keep bring up my case. But
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: that was a big movement for me, a moment because
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I won that case after nine years.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: No, that was a long battle.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: It was a long battle. I say every email that
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: is sent to you and that you keep everything. I
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: journaled from the minute I got injured I started to journal.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: It was five years later that they were able to
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: look at my journal to get information on people that
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I could never remember, the names that I was so
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: sure i'd remember right at the time, like I'll never
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: forget this. Well, guess what I forgot. But it was
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: all in writing. So yes, you should write everything down,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: write dann what people are saying. If somebody says something
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: to you and it's not in writing, you can confirm
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: the conversation in an email or a text. You could
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: say I just wanted to reiterate, or say I heard
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: you when you said this. I want to make sure
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: I was hearing that correctly. Do really keep a track
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: of everything because time can go for a while and
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: you could always be able to fall back to that documentation.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: And also it helps to release you. I think the
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: more you document, the less you hold on to it
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: emotionally and perseverate over it. I think it gives you
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: room to think beyond. So it's important to document.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, that's good. Supporting one another is vital in
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: any kind of work environment, and so often we're pitted
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: against one another as actors competing for the same jobs,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: the same press, etc. Do you have ideas for people
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: so that they can forge relationships and alliances at work,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: so there is that support, that community, that group. You know,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: when when you're not just keeping it inside like you did,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: or like I did.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Asks people to lunch, you know, take a moment. That's
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: two bad people only working on the computers at home.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: One of the most wonderful things I think can be
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: the work environment. It doesn't always have to be hostile,
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: but I think that being able to be honest, to
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: stand up not only expect people to stand up for you,
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: but stand up for them right. You want to mirror
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: the thing that you want to have have and for you,
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: it's really important and so I think that you know,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: take a moment away from yourself, look at the person.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: You did a great job today, or I really admired
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: when you said that one thing. I'd love to talk
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: to you more about that. I think that we make
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: it less about ourselves more about the other and about us.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: I think that garners a really much healthier environment.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I love that.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte?
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: The most anticipated guest from season three is here the
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: Tray to My Charlotte. Kyle McGlaughlin joins me to relive
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: all of the magical Tray and Charlotte moments. He reveals
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: what he thinks of Trey giving Charlotte a cardboard baby?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Why would I bring her a cardboard baby?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: As literally, I was like, this doesn't track for me
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: at all.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: When he found out Tray's shortcomings, I'm.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Kind of excited to talking about.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: You know, I think he's the guy's time in Central Park.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: You know, he's probably be some.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Surgery stuff, you know, And I was like, all this
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff going on, and they were like yeah, yeah, yeah, fine,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: and they said, but he's impotent, And I was like, he's.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: Impotent, and why he chose not to return to and
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: just like that, they came and presented an idea and
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: I was like, I get I see it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: It's so kind of a one joke idea.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: You don't want to miss this.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: Hey, it's Wilfredll and Sabrina Bryan.
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: From the podcast Magical Rewind and we have a very
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: special guest on this week's episode. He's the mastermind behind
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: some of your favorite movies like Hocus Pocus, Newsy's, The Descendants,
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: and of course High School Musical. Yes, it is the
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: one and only a living legend director Kenny or Tega.
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: We sit down with Kenny to talk about his incredible
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: career and the legacy he's created with his choreography and films.
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: You seriously will not want to miss this one.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: Listen to Magical Rewind on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcast Yes.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: When did the intimacy coordinator come into play?
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: God, so we're in twenty twenty. I think first of all,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: the intimacy coordinators existed on the stage. That was something
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: that existed in theaters because they needed to find a
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: way to make it work on stage to look like
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: you're having sex and not have sex. Than when the
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Harvey Weinstein moment came, and that was so look at
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: people spoke out for the first time saying, not only
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: he did stuff, but you started hearing stories the me
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: too movement that nobody had heard before, and so there were.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Actors who talked about it.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: We started talking on a global level around the world
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: about this was happening in every country, and women were
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: starting to admit that, yes, this had happened.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Men had talked about it happening.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: And then we started talking about this intimacy coordinator thing.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: HBO had started doing it and owning it for their
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: productions because they had more hyper exposed work, and then
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: we started to talk amongst each other. Then started bringing
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: in intimacy coordinators from theater who started to do it
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: into you know, film, and then we said, but what
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: about TV? Because TV is much more explicit now than
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: it was when we started.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: We talk about how different, you know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I feel like a grandma when I thought, oh.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: My god, they feel like we had we didn't have
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: you sell your phones then. But anyway, so it's but
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: so that's it started. I think in twenty twenty, twenty nineteen.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Oh god, it's been too I can't tell you the
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: exact year that we really started to work on that. Now,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: I mean sag after. You know, they've just now made
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: intimacy coordinators a category, a category, which is amazing. They're represented,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: they get great, I mean that gosh there, I think
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: right now in negotiations actually with them, you know, for
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: them to have you know, so they can figure out
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: the wages.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: And all that. It's amazing.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I can't believe that it started as a concept when
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: I was in the presidency and the evolution it's taken
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: through you know, fran Dresher when she was president and
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: how it grew and then now we're you know, Sean
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Aston is there and I'm excited to see. It's so
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: interesting to see the birth of something.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Right, especially something like that, like as an actress, having
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: had no support other than a male director and a
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: male co star during those intimate scenes where we have
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: to portray certain.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Friend of a crew of one hundred men usually.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: But it's not that way anymore, thank god. It's much
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: more diverse. But back in the day, yeah, I would
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: have felt so much more comfortable if I had an
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: intimacy coordinator, just somebody there, somebody say has a different perspective,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: is not trying to get anything from you.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: And so have you able to say something I'm not
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: feeling comfortable about this? You know, well, how would you
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: feel comfortable? Let's talk about that. Or intimacy coordinators aren't
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: also just for a hyperds those sex scenes. Think about
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: somebody who has to play a pedophile. We talk about
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: this all the time, and they have to do it
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: with a child. They're not doing anything, but even that
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: you know, and you you're a parent, and that feeling
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: that you have about that, and I don't know how
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: to how to reconcile, like how do I make it
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: so that the child doesn't feel and how do I
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: make sure they have a voice? Like I am telling
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: you it is one of the greatest things that is
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: being put into our work.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I think so too, Yeah, I definitely think so. What's
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: one piece of advice that you live by every day?
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: Be true to yourself, Be true to yourself, Be true
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: to yourself, be true to yourself.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Everybody.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: You might hear a lot of different this is what's
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: done and this is what it's done.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Be true to yourself. In the end, it's all make believe.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Right, That's the thing you always hear. Well, this is
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: how we do it.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: This is how we've always done it, This is how
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: they do, this is what they want, this is what
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: they're looking for, this is what they want.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Are you okay with that?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: And you're like I, I guess everybody everyways doing it.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Ye, be true to yourself, Be tu yourself.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: It's very good advice. So you just gave an actor,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: no advice.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I just shared a thought with a friend.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Any other last words for those working hard everywhere?
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Bravo, bravo.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what else can you say? Thank you for your
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: time on the pod with me. I so appreciate you
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: being here. And so many people are out there working
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: really hard in the entertainment industry, so you are amazing
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: and everybody really appreciates all the work that you do.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: I really appreciate being here, and I appreciate every single
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: person who's really out there putting it out there. Yeah,
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: because it makes a difference. It makes a difference.