Latest / Mental Health and the Mission of the Church / Fake Vulnerability | A Chip Mini

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Fake Vulnerability | A Chip Mini · Mental Health and the Mission of the Church

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In this mini episode, Pastor Chip Judd and Pastor Chip Henderson unpack the idea of fake vulnerability.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: How leaders in the church are often judged, and why real growth requires both humility and a willingness to be honest.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to listen to part one and part two with Pastors Chip and Christy Henderson.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: In part one, they share their story of moving towards healthy mental health after years of unhealthiness and unsustainable pace in ministry.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: In part two, they talk about how that healing has shaped them as leaders and transformed the way they do ministry.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is mental health and the mission of the church.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was telling Joey, text them earlier that I'm excited about this whole thing that we're talking around.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's just starting to get the playtime that it needs.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: I think more guys are, you know, more leaders, men and women are try are just more aware, more interested, more uh it's it I don't know if we've hit a tipping point yet, but it's almost maybe we're past this.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: It it it would be a tough thing now to talk down about mental health issues and their impact.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Where if you go back just five years, it would have been the other way around.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: If you made too big a deal about it, you'd be on the outside looking in a little bit.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: But now I think it's it we're at that point where it's kind of reversing, where you know, and you can tell by some of the books guys are writing, you know.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right now it's cool.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's cool to talk about counseling, it's cool to talk about mental and emotional health, and guys are they're turning out books and stuff.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: But um, you know, one of the guys that that I saw who helped me talks about faux vulnerability.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So the idea is you're vulnerable just vulnerable enough that you're pretending to be vulnerable, but you're really not.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know the words, you know the lingo, but you're not actually walking the walk.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh he he thinks that's a problem.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do you what are you seeing?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think guys and girls' churches are legitimately walking this out, or is it just the cool thing to do?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: And as soon as it becomes uncool, they'll move on.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say most guys uh see, whatever.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm old enough, I don't I need to be more careful how I say things, but a lot of times I'll I'll see a book somebody's written and I'll say, you know, I kind of know that guy, and he's not living that.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: He's he's not he's not living that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: And he doesn't have the training to talk as an expert.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: He's basically uh quite possibly using Chat GPT to write a book that, you know, the concepts are right, the concepts are reasonably well applied, but are you doing life in such a way that if we followed you around for a week, we would see the fruit of what that book's about.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I would say this most of the guys that I work with, you know, they got to me because of trouble.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: They got to me because of something that they wanted different.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they saw how their dysfunction was hurting their wife, or maybe as a couple they were dealing with something, or uh, you know, they saw how their their uh issues were affecting their staff and the culture they were building.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I every once in a while I'll work with somebody who um who just isn't showing up, and you can kind of tell, but most of the guys that I work with, because everything I do, you know, I I've never had a mailing list, I've never advertised per se.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: Everything's word of mouth.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: So by the time they get to me, they're pretty hungry.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like I tell people, what do you, you know, if you're you're you're getting ready to go to a week in Colorado or whatever, you're gonna submit yourself to some form of therapy, ministry, whatever.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: What how do I how do I need to get ready?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I tell them you need two things you need hunger and a willingness to be honest.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: You need a hunger, you need hunger to be set free and a commitment that you're gonna be honest about anything that's asked.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: And if you bring hunger and honesty, God's gonna show up and something's gonna happen.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, if you don't bring those two things, you know, write me a check, but don't waste my time.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, I don't want to just work for people.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: I I I want to partner with them to bring about change.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good observation, though.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: It really is a good observation.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Again, who am I?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not I can't judge the servant of another, as you know, it says, I think in Corinthians, so it's not my job to necessarily uh pass judgment, but I just I just know in our culture where when something comes in vogue, um whether it's publishers or just the preacher world, we're in a hurry to put out resources.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: And my stance on this, and I don't know, I just in some circles that I move in, I just wonder what you just said.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I don't really know you well enough to know to to walk around with you, but but I have seen, even in our own context, even in our staff, there are people who know the lingo and say the words, but I don't see the fruit of it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now they're not trying to write a book, but they are trying to lead.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I think they're leading with words, yeah, concepts, but I but I don't see that they're actually leading out of a life that's practiced, that's that's walking this out.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I know this is a dangerous concept, but you said in in the midst of all that you just said that you know, you don't judge another man's servant.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: If we don't, who's going to?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: In other words, there's a point where we've got to police ourselves.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we we've got to be able to say, you know, let's say we're on a podcast that's that's QA and people can call in with questions and they say, you know, hey, blah, blah, blah.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's a point where we say, you know, yeah, I think that book's a bunch of, you know what.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I know that's a really, really that's getting out on the thin branch and thin ice.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: But I I think there's times when we act too much like a good old boys' club and somebody gets in trouble or gets off track and we just protect them.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I I I definitely agree with that.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'm not saying that.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think if I've got relationship with you, if you've got a relationship with me, Chip, you should call me out.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not gonna call out some guy that I know by name, I know by, you know, because he has a huge following or is a great communicator.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't know that it's my job to call that out.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: But in my house, you know, in in the in the Pine Lake community, yes.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: And in my circle of friends, yes.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's the loving thing to do, even with couples that we engage with, you know, to say, man, how are you really?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what's going on really?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is that needs to become more and more the culture of the church.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would say, I would even go so far as to say, Chip, that that one thing, yes, you we call it finding your band of brothers or sisters or couples.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: But until you find a male group or female group or couple group or something where you know each other well enough and spend enough time together that you can you you kind of earn the right.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: But until you've got people around you that love you just the way you are, but love you enough to speak the truth to you, you're dangerous.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you are an accident waiting to happen.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the real tragedy: you're obstructing your opportunities to grow.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: And therefore, you're you're downgrading your growth trajectory because you're not putting the right ingredients in the in the mix.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because truth, John 8, 31 and 32, you should know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: If you you don't set yourself up for truth, you're not going to experience the level of freedom that God wants you to enjoy.