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Transcript

The Jump Test · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Did you see Natalie's text that just came in?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: Let me jump over to the text line.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'll read it for you.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: If you're in the middle of other things, did you guys know?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Six months to the day, it is Super Bowl Sunday.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: And it's this is what we were saying all show.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: And even Scott and I kind of started talking about this yesterday.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Already summer's ending?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want it to.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't either.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: But that's- Too soon.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's one of those.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know how it used to be?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, once NASCAR weekend came and went, you knew that summer was rounding the bend.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Not because we had a different schedule.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, where's that marker for us, right?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I even think about it.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about the way summer's panned out so far, we had May that didn't stop raining all of May.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the entire month of May.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: June, we started out with an inferno.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember that?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: It was the heat dome and all that.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we had the smoke from Canada.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then we've been, you know, through July, it was kind of like, well, that was a blink of an eye.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: I saw a meme the other day that said basically the year has gone like this: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: About right there.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, then I'm gonna come over to this.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Since we're sort of loosely, and by the way, before I jump over there, uh are we gonna announce Bieber as the halftime show sometime soon?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or what's happening here?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean, is this coming or or not?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right, well, that we can ponder while we're waiting for Jay-Z to get his act together.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, uh tribute band uh taxes.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, far worse.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: What could be worse?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm gonna ask you.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Never mind.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna ask you, and you're gonna tell me whether or not this ever happened.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Did you have to do a jump test in high school?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, is this the oh my god, is this oh, and track?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yes.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: I know what you're talking about.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Explain.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I would stand in one spot and I had to jump forward to see how many feet I could jump forward.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, that's not it whatsoever.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: I hated that.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's not it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's like trying to move a log.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know how far I can jump?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Ribb.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's about it.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, okay, so no, it's actually nothing to do with that.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's an incredibly awkward situation that took place in a Texas school where they made the girls uh ensure that their sports bras were tight enough so they're humongous hungalonga no no logongas weren't bouncing all over the place getting the boys all excited.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wait a second.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: So who am I jumping in front of?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: My gym teacher?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: Pretty sure, yeah.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And that could be male or female.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: You have to remember every school district has different staff in different places.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, also, my gym teacher, definitely a lesbian.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, she was.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so it's problematic in itself.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the problem.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: There is a school in Texas, it's going viral for their dress code, which requires females, b female band members to compete in a so-called jump test to ensure that their undergarments hold firmly enough.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: The band director said that the quote jump test was meant to be something that the students uh did uh privately themselves.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I this is really hard.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: I can't really talk too much about this because I do have voluptuous man boobs.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: And you do the jump test and your man's ear every night.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: They're still not the same as the ladies.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, but there are times I'm driving down, I'm you know, I'm in corning, whatever.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: And somebody's running and their sports bra is hanging on for dear life.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're getting a couple black eyes from those.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Among us hungalonga no no logongas.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, yes.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: They got whiplashed from their tatas.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you were gonna say there's been times I've been driving through corning in a pothole and almost blackened my own eyes.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's humongous hungalonga no no logongas.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I just sometimes want to say, hey, you need a better bra.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody does need to teach these girls, you know when, okay, I know that you like to pretend to be a woman on the radio, but when we were when necessary.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, when we were younger, there's certain things your mom would teach you.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: You talked even this morning about Gavin putting on deodorant, right?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, yeah, yeah.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: So your mom would teach you things like, okay, put on deodorant, or oh my god, my friend Jessica is talking to her daughter about using a tampon.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: I won't even go into it.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Awkward conversations at first, but then you move on.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I won't even go into the vulgarity of that conversation that she had with her daughter because Jessica's a nurse and her daughter's been struggling with this.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, anyway, another thing that moms teach is having a good supportive bra.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, in this case, I'm beginning to wonder if if they're concerned some of the parents aren't doing that because so somebody but this is a slippery soap.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Slope.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh two slopes.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the problem.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: It gets awkward when you say you don't want to arouse the male students that are of the age where they're just little hornballs at that time.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know what I mean?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because then it feels like all it is is a sexuality thing.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: But let me be honest with you, even for a girl, uh, isn't you just admitted it.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: You've seen people doing literally WWE title matches with their own sports bras.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you it it's distracted you.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not just, you know, a 15-year-old boy who's like, oh, I can't, I'm I can't take my eyes off of it.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I I and I think that there has to be almost like a blanketed statement that comes out about the dress code.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, maybe that's a better way to handle it instead of a jump test.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I don't think that you should say jump test, even though it needs to be too much.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's what you do, right?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: Even though it needs to totally be to be said.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because even the one day I was putting on a sports bra and Zach said, You look like you're like struggling.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Yeah, it's hard to get this thing on because I don't need my boobies to give me whiplash.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: I like to keep them tight.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Did you like that?
• 6:08
  unknown: Yeah.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you're slapping my chest over here.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's right.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Scott's like, I'm not looking.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna look at the text line.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And this came from a guest.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, whether you're not signed in or you haven't registered, whatever you gotta do.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: If they're gonna make them uh wear restrictive bras, let's go ahead and have the boys wear uh compression underwear.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: When they're uh wearing gray sweatpants.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because you know what?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're you know what?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm not saying compression because I mean I accidentally nutted myself with a power cable last night and I almost I hurt from that.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I almost brought myself to tears.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not kidding.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Was it the metal part that got you?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it was the hard plastic part with the metal tips.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I was wrapping the I was wrapping the cord up and all of a sudden I Ellie, I made the No, it was worse.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was like this.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I made the ooh sound before it even smacked my left ball.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not kidding.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not kidding.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's Friday, you can tell.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Think about this.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: You're kind of right, guest.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I have to lean towards this.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: You don't you don't want to go to Walmart on a Sunday and see a f see a 15-year-old walking around in the gray sweatpants.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if he's 28 and has that nice beard, let that schlongle dongle.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: By the way, this was signed from a D cup that is going to bounce no matter what or how tight.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Humongous hungalongga no no logombo.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: I used to have uh there one of my college sorti sisters had the hugest tatas.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I've never seen tatas like this before in my life.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: She was a double, sometimes triple sports bra person.
• 7:45
  unknown: Yeah.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Boy, you know it's a rough day when you gotta am I a double today or a triple?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I know.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: It depends on what you're doing.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Are we playing basketball?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Are we jumping on a trampoline?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: Are we Are those basketballs in your bra?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: If we're just doing golf two, I'll skip both you gotta get that driver swing going.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's some movement, you know.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: Flattened down.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I get the feeling golf wasn't her forte with the cans that big?