Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #265| Why the Discomfort of Setting a Boundary is 100% Worth It—And The Positive Ripple Effects Across Your People Pleasing and Overwhelm That Prove It
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: When you listen today, you're going to learn why the discomfort of setting a boundary is 100% worth it and the positive ripple effects that happen across your life and your overwhelm to prove that that's true.
- 0:13Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:24Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:30Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences.
- 0:35Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:42Michelle Gauthier: Hello, friend.
- 0:45Michelle Gauthier: On this quick Thursday episode, we're going to talk a little bit about what happens after you set a boundary, the after effects of setting a boundary.
- 0:54Michelle Gauthier: Because when you set a boundary and you hold to it, the results are amazing, not only in the area where you set the boundary, but it has a good ripple effect across your whole life.
- 1:04Michelle Gauthier: When you listen today, you'll learn why setting one boundary creates ripples everywhere.
- 1:09Michelle Gauthier: And you'll learn how a single decision at work transformed my client's entire outlook on life.
- 1:15Michelle Gauthier: I'm not even being dramatic.
- 1:17Michelle Gauthier: And then what to do if you want to give this a try, if you want to try to set a boundary and see how it has ripple effects in your life.
- 1:25Michelle Gauthier: Okay, let's talk about my client.
- 1:26Michelle Gauthier: We will call her Meg.
- 1:28Michelle Gauthier: Meg was a high performer drowning in overwhelm.
- 1:31Michelle Gauthier: Like many of my clients, Meg was a high performer drowning in overwhelm.
- 1:35Michelle Gauthier: She wasn't sleeping, she was snapping at her partner.
- 1:38Michelle Gauthier: She'd basically given up on ever spending time with friends, but she couldn't figure out how to make more time in her life.
- 1:46Michelle Gauthier: And the one boundary that we decided to work on first was just not working after 6 p.m.
- 1:53Michelle Gauthier: So that doesn't mean leave the office at 6 p.m.
- 1:56Michelle Gauthier: but continue to check your email and work on things all night and think about them, but really to not work.
- 2:01Michelle Gauthier: And like I always say about boundaries, you can set the boundary, but you have to actually hold it.
- 2:06Michelle Gauthier: And sometimes that can be really hard because you want to just really quick check your email or message somebody and see how such and such is going.
- 2:13Michelle Gauthier: But she did it and she stuck to it.
- 2:16Michelle Gauthier: It was a little bit of fits and starts at the beginning, but she stuck to it.
- 2:19Michelle Gauthier: And in three months, her career got better.
- 2:21Michelle Gauthier: I'm telling you guys, this happens all the time where my clients decide to work less and do B minus work in some places in their jobs and outsource things to their team, and their career gets better and they make more money.
- 2:35Michelle Gauthier: It's like they do less and they make more money.
- 2:37Michelle Gauthier: I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it happens all the time.
- 2:40Michelle Gauthier: But back to Meg, her career got better.
- 2:42Michelle Gauthier: She started sleeping, her relationship with her husband improved, and she even ended up finding some time for friends.
- 2:48Michelle Gauthier: And then even just little things started happening.
- 2:51Michelle Gauthier: She cleaned her closet.
- 2:52Michelle Gauthier: It's not like, oh, I don't check my email after six.
- 2:56Michelle Gauthier: So now my closet is clean.
- 2:58Michelle Gauthier: It's just the trickle-down effect of when you are actually feeling like you have space in your life to enjoy things and not be at work.
- 3:07Michelle Gauthier: Good things keep happening.
- 3:09Michelle Gauthier: So here's what I think is so important to know because sometimes it's hard to set that first boundary, but it doesn't really matter where you set it.
- 3:17Michelle Gauthier: One of my clients set a boundary with her family around spending time with them and that she wasn't going to host every single event.
- 3:23Michelle Gauthier: That type of boundary will also give that client better clarity at work because they're not thinking about and overscheduling themselves and trying to take their family's phone calls while they're at work.
- 3:35Michelle Gauthier: No matter where you set a boundary, it will improve in that area.
- 3:38Michelle Gauthier: It truly trickles down and helps you in all areas of your life.
- 3:42Michelle Gauthier: If you're thinking, okay, that sounds good, where do I start?
- 3:45Michelle Gauthier: Start by setting one boundary.
- 3:47Michelle Gauthier: Pick the area that's driving you the craziest right now.
- 3:51Michelle Gauthier: Set a little boundary and watch what happens.
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: And if you need to know the three steps for setting a boundary, I cover that in detail in episode 262.
- 4:00Michelle Gauthier: So you can go back to that one if you need to know the details.
- 4:03Michelle Gauthier: Give yourself permission to just give it a try.
- 4:05Michelle Gauthier: I'm reminded of another client who's when she walked in the door from work.
- 4:08Michelle Gauthier: Her kids were always there.
- 4:09Michelle Gauthier: Of course, they're hungry and they're waiting for her to get home and they have like a thousand questions for her.
- 4:13Michelle Gauthier: Can I do this?
- 4:14Michelle Gauthier: Can you help me with that?
- 4:15Michelle Gauthier: And she set a boundary that when she walks in, she doesn't answer any questions.
- 4:18Michelle Gauthier: So I suppose they can still ask him to her, but she doesn't answer any questions until she goes to her room and changes her clothes and takes a little breather and then comes back down and is ready to address them.
- 4:27Michelle Gauthier: So think about that.
- 4:28Michelle Gauthier: Just that one little boundary.
- 4:30Michelle Gauthier: If you can feel peaceful when you come home, have a minute to regroup and then come back down and be with your family.
- 4:36Michelle Gauthier: Imagine what a ripple effect that has on your night, even your sleep, even your day the next day.
- 4:41Michelle Gauthier: So start somewhere small, do the three steps to set a boundary, see how that works for you.
- 4:46Michelle Gauthier: Just try it and see the great trickle-down effects that it can have on your life.
- 4:50Michelle Gauthier: If you are a regular listener or a new listener and you have not left a rating or a review, I would so appreciate if you did.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: You guys have probably already heard me say this, but we are in the top 1.5% of podcasts, and I want every overwhelmed working woman to hear these episodes.
- 5:08Michelle Gauthier: And when you do things like leave a rating or a review or send an episode to a friend and get them to become a listener, it helps the podcast be seen more widely and help more women.
- 5:18Michelle Gauthier: So if you would take a second to do that, I would super appreciate it.
- 5:21Michelle Gauthier: Have a great day.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 5:30Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com.
- 5:36Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.