Latest / Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50 / WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TOOK A MIDLIFE BREAK?

Transcript

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TOOK A MIDLIFE BREAK? · Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50

• 0:04
  Welcome to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast urging
• 0:08
  you to let it go and don't look back, with nationally acclaimed
• 0:12
  professional organizer Christine Stone and self-proclaimed Hot
• 0:17
  Damn Mess radio and TV personality Eden Kendall.
• 0:25
  Welcome everybody to Uncluttered and Unfiltered.
• 0:28
  It hasn't been months, but it has.
• 0:29
  Been weeks since. We've done an episode, it's kind
• 0:32
  of our topic today, taking a break, giving yourself
• 0:35
  permission. And then also what what do you
• 0:38
  find out about yourself when you do take that break?
• 0:41
  And if you're just joining us for the very first time because
• 0:43
  maybe you saw us on TV or on social media, we are uncluttered
• 0:47
  and unfiltered. The podcast for women over 50.
• 0:50
  My name is Eden Kendall. I am not organized, so don't let
• 0:54
  the name of this our guest told you.
• 0:55
  Christine, however, is a professional organizer and we do
• 0:59
  talk quite often about ways that you can become more organized,
• 1:02
  but that's just not our one and only thing.
• 1:04
  No, no, it's not. But after 50, there's a lot of
• 1:08
  stuff you want to let go of, so that's why we touch on it.
• 1:12
  Exactly. You want to let go of stuff
• 1:13
  physically and of course, spiritually, mentally, all of
• 1:18
  the these that you can think of. So we're really glad you're
• 1:21
  here. Let's talk.
• 1:22
  Let's get a little bit caught up.
• 1:23
  OK, So since you and I last talked TikTok, TikTok turned off
• 1:28
  and turned back on. And that's a whole thing.
• 1:31
  And we're not going to get into any politics, no.
• 1:34
  But let's talk about do we care? Do we not care?
• 1:37
  What do we think is happening? Is this a big controversial like
• 1:40
  conspiracy? Did Facebook buy TikTok?
• 1:43
  What do you think? Well OK, so my daughter deleted
• 1:46
  the app and can't get back on. So I find that it's not in the
• 1:50
  App Store. I did not delete the app only
• 1:53
  probably because I didn't even think to do that.
• 1:55
  So I'm still on. So what I think is that it just
• 2:02
  is different. That's all I'm gonna do.
• 2:04
  Something's changed. You think they've sold and we
• 2:07
  just don't know yet. Or do things change?
• 2:09
  Like they said, they put on this message saying we're off, but
• 2:13
  we're hopeful. And then they come back like the
• 2:15
  same day we're back. So it's just a crazy thing Now
• 2:19
  normally and women our age, you'd be like TikTok, what do
• 2:22
  you care? But you know, we know that you
• 2:24
  can find a lot of people out on TikTok and you can learn a lot
• 2:27
  of things and there's fun and to be out on.
• 2:29
  I know it's changed because my algorithm has changed.
• 2:32
  I got used to get a lot of home decorating, makeup tips, those
• 2:38
  type of things. I'm not getting any of that
• 2:40
  anymore, which really bums me out because there were some good
• 2:43
  tips and tricks. Do you think like systemically
• 2:47
  like within TikTok? It has definitely changed.
• 2:49
  Hands you think because you're noticing, but that's that's my
• 2:52
  thoughts, but pre shutting down my thought on TikTok and I
• 2:57
  talked to you about this before is I think there are just so
• 3:00
  many lonely people and it sometimes it makes me really sad
• 3:04
  because it just shows how people think the people out in TikTok
• 3:09
  world are their family are their friends and they really get so
• 3:14
  emotional. At least the old algorithm I was
• 3:16
  on of how they were really invested in TikTok and.
• 3:21
  That's not even the people who are making a living, which is so
• 3:24
  many people. Exactly, like these were not
• 3:27
  people making a living selling anything.
• 3:29
  They just really, to me, it really hit a niche with
• 3:34
  loneliness and I, it made me a little sad, like I said, because
• 3:40
  it just shows you how many lonely people there.
• 3:42
  Are out there to see how devastated some people were.
• 3:45
  But either way, whether it goes away, whether it doesn't go
• 3:48
  away, there will be something to replace it there really.
• 3:49
  Already there, right? And there's always some.
• 3:52
  One less social media right thing doesn't bother me.
• 3:55
  Doesn't bother me. At all.
• 3:56
  But let's see what else has happened since I last saw you.
• 4:00
  We watched the Golden Globes. Oh yes.
• 4:02
  And Demi Moore was on there for the movie Substance.
• 4:06
  The substance, yes. OK, I didn't see that movie.
• 4:09
  I did see that movie. So first of all, yeah, she won a
• 4:12
  golden. Globe and she deserved it.
• 4:14
  What is happening? Saw this movie, you would say
• 4:17
  she definitely OK. What is it?
• 4:19
  What is? It, well, the reason why I was
• 4:20
  fascinated by it because my daughter, who is 3534, was on
• 4:27
  the fence about it. But then I said, well, what's
• 4:30
  the concept? And she told me and I'm like, Oh
• 4:32
  no, now I have to watch it. So the concept is her name is
• 4:36
  Elizabeth Sparkle. She's renowned for an aerobic
• 4:40
  show, kind of like a Jane Fonda type thing.
• 4:43
  Faces a devastating blow on her 50th birthday as her boss fires
• 4:48
  her amid her distress, a laboratory offers her a
• 4:51
  substance which promises to transform her into an enhanced
• 4:56
  younger version of herself. So it's a bit sci-fi, which I'm
• 5:00
  not really a big sci-fi person, but what?
• 5:03
  First of all, her acting was phenomenal.
• 5:06
  And it shows when you hit a certain age, like her boss was
• 5:11
  saying, you're done. We're high.
• 5:13
  They want younger, they want younger, they want prettier,
• 5:15
  they want perkier. And so she was desperate.
• 5:19
  So she did this. But it ends up sorry spoiler.
• 5:24
  She's going to spoil it right now.
• 5:25
  So either you hit Fast forward or you okay, I I've already told
• 5:31
  you I probably won't see it because it's just really not my
• 5:34
  type of movie. All right, go ahead.
• 5:38
  But it backfires, she ends up doing it, but it backfires.
• 5:42
  And she realizes, like the moral the story is she should have
• 5:46
  been happy with what she had because she starts aging because
• 5:50
  the younger version of herself doesn't want to go back to being
• 5:53
  old. And that wasn't the the deal.
• 5:56
  There was a an agreement. So she, the older Demi Moore
• 6:01
  starts to age, her hands get old, her face starts to get
• 6:05
  really old and she wants to go back to her normal 50 year old.
• 6:08
  And they're like, sorry, that's not how this works.
• 6:11
  Once you start aging, we can't age you back.
• 6:14
  So the moral the story is she should have just been happy with
• 6:18
  her healthy 50 year old self and not wanted to be young a younger
• 6:23
  OK. This is like what your mother
• 6:25
  says. Your mother always says be happy
• 6:28
  where you are because in five, 1020 years you're going to look
• 6:31
  back and say I was so beautiful. I was so young.
• 6:34
  Even if you're 58 like me, you know you're going to look back
• 6:39
  at when you're 68 and say, boy, when I was 58, I had that going
• 6:42
  on and. You know, I didn't really
• 6:43
  understand it until I got into my 60s.
• 6:48
  Now I do. Look at a picture of myself from
• 6:50
  10 years ago when I was 52, and I go, God, I looked pretty
• 6:54
  decent. I mean, you know, I looked
• 6:56
  pretty decent. Here's a new splash everyone's
• 6:58
  thinking. You look really decent now, but
• 7:00
  I get what you're saying and I feel the same way you.
• 7:02
  Don't appreciate it way until you get to that point.
• 7:06
  So aging is really about in your head.
• 7:10
  But also with social media, I always bring that up.
• 7:14
  They keep reminding you that you're getting older.
• 7:17
  They keep reminding you. And here's why.
• 7:20
  After you told me about the movie and the premise, here's
• 7:22
  why I knew I would not watch it. I was scarred from a very young
• 7:27
  age. And when I say young, I'm
• 7:28
  telling you I must have been six years old and I had nightmares
• 7:31
  for a long time and I still can't stand the idea of this.
• 7:35
  There was a movie called The Lost Horizon, and my parents
• 7:37
  took me to see it in the movie theater.
• 7:39
  And it was about these people that that crashed on a plane and
• 7:43
  they landed in this this town village called Shangri-La.
• 7:48
  And in Shangri-La, nobody ages. Everybody was very excited to
• 7:51
  stay, but there was one guy, and I want to say his brother, maybe
• 7:55
  they wanted to get home, but they one of them had already
• 7:59
  fallen in love with a woman from Shangri-La, so he's going to
• 8:02
  take her home with them. Well, they don't get very far
• 8:05
  before they start screaming because they look and there's
• 8:08
  this woman that they're saving from Shangri-La.
• 8:10
  She's already so tired they have to carry her.
• 8:13
  And now she's very old and she's.
• 8:14
  Deceased because. They took her out and she aged
• 8:17
  really fast. Yeah, that was when.
• 8:19
  I was a little kid that scared the she looks like a witch.
• 8:23
  And so since then I can't watch the Demi Moore movie.
• 8:26
  I'm sorry. I'm so glad she's award.
• 8:28
  I just can't see the movie. Personally, I can't.
• 8:30
  But she definitely deserved the Golden Globe and I hope she wins
• 8:34
  the Oscar. And by the way, she looks
• 8:36
  fabulous in real life. She doesn't look distorted.
• 8:40
  She looks just like a more youthful Demi Moore.
• 8:46
  I don't know what she's doing. I don't know who her doctor is,
• 8:49
  although I'd love to know. But she's saying stop before
• 8:51
  it's too much, right? This is what a lot.
• 8:53
  Of women don't just normal. So we had I hosted a daytime.
• 8:59
  You might even be watching this on this channel show on in
• 9:04
  Jacksonville, FL where we live and we had some hair stylists on
• 9:07
  and I said, what are the trends right now?
• 9:10
  And one of them said, if you saw Demi Moore's hair on the Golden
• 9:12
  Globes, just long, just let it go.
• 9:15
  Just let it go. And so that was now if you, if
• 9:19
  you're watching the video of this, I'm doing the Galinda from
• 9:21
  Wicked right now. I'm flipping my hair back.
• 9:23
  Speaking of Golden Globes, I I think that's interesting that
• 9:28
  long hair on an older woman is so in style.
• 9:30
  When you and I are growing. We have longer hair now.
• 9:33
  I for the first time really ever as an adult.
• 9:37
  So it's interesting that that's in hair.
• 9:39
  Yeah, you're a hair. Well, I think it's not a style.
• 9:43
  I think it's what looks best on your face and how you feel.
• 9:48
  So if I have real short hair, I don't feel good.
• 9:51
  But I think it's interesting now that people when they look at a
• 9:54
  celebrity that can be older, long hair is something you don't
• 9:59
  instantly say, Oh, she's too old for that hair because there were
• 10:03
  a lot of times that people have, you know, thought instantly you
• 10:07
  have to get a Bob or you have to answer that.
• 10:09
  So I think that's that's a really interesting thing.
• 10:12
  So let me see, we've got what we're talking about to me more
• 10:16
  in a very in an upcoming episode.
• 11:58
  I don't want to say it's very upcoming.
• 12:00
  It's in a couple weeks. We'll record it.
• 12:02
  We're going to talk about Brooke Shields book, which is called
• 12:05
  Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old.
• 12:07
  And Brooke Shields wrote this book with the notion that for
• 12:13
  those who, and you showed me this quote, we're talking about
• 12:15
  this for those who like passed away young, their beauty is
• 12:20
  forever locked in at that age. But if you're someone like
• 12:22
  Brooke Shields, that was a beauty at a young age, as you're
• 12:26
  getting older, people are not accepting of it.
• 12:28
  They don't like to see you age, No.
• 12:30
  And and she, you'll see if you follow her on social media, she
• 12:35
  will show you all the terrible comments people are saying about
• 12:38
  her on social media, which breaks my heart because I still
• 12:42
  think she's stunningly beautiful.
• 12:44
  So I don't know what everyone's talking about, but I do agree
• 12:48
  that if you are young and famous and you grow older, people now
• 12:54
  with social media are super critical.
• 12:56
  Like some of the comments were, God, you look old, you need a
• 12:59
  facelift. I mean, I can't even imagine
• 13:03
  someone #1 saying that. And #2 I don't think she does.
• 13:07
  I think she looks phenomenal and if.
• 13:09
  She'd had a face slip. They'd say EW.
• 13:11
  Right, like what you do? Exactly, exactly.
• 13:15
  So OK, now let's get to this break you took.
• 13:17
  So unfortunately it was because you were so under the weather.
• 13:20
  So tell everybody about that. Well.
• 13:22
  On Christmas Eve, no, I know I got the flu.
• 13:28
  I know. And I had everyone in town, the
• 13:30
  whole entire family. So I had a little PTSD bringing
• 13:33
  you back to the COVID time when no one could come in your room.
• 13:37
  They were walking outside our French doors behind my room,
• 13:41
  waving to me because I didn't want to get my mother who's 86,
• 13:47
  sick or my grandson or so. I just stayed in the room.
• 13:51
  So I had to entertain myself because I was, I was so sick.
• 13:55
  I watched a lot of TV. I, I caught up on every show
• 14:00
  I've ever wanted to watch, though, because I had to focus
• 14:04
  on something. And the second thing I did,
• 14:06
  which I found very fascinating, was I went off all social media
• 14:10
  really at a. Time where somebody might go
• 14:12
  down many, many holes. You decided not to die.
• 14:16
  Not to even. You know what it was I was, I
• 14:20
  couldn't focus on something like that.
• 14:23
  My head was throbbing. You know when you have a head
• 14:26
  cold and your body aches, you just can't focus.
• 14:29
  Even to hold a phone could be painful.
• 14:31
  So I went off all social media, everything, and what did I
• 14:37
  notice? Well, first of all, I always
• 14:40
  have like my neck and my shoulders are always bothering
• 14:44
  me. And I noticed that that all went
• 14:48
  away. I'm like, huh, that's weird, How
• 14:51
  come my neck and shoulders don't bother me?
• 14:53
  And it's because I'm constantly sitting in bed with an iPad or
• 14:58
  with my phone looking down. And I gave my body a break of
• 15:04
  doing that. And I realized that's what was
• 15:07
  causing a lot of neck and shoulder pain, was looking down
• 15:11
  at my iPad because of work. I'm on my iPad and my phone a
• 15:15
  lot. So I realized when I by the way,
• 15:20
  when I got better, I went back to doing my old habits and your.
• 15:23
  Neck hurts it. Came right back so I knew 100%
• 15:27
  that's what causes the neck and shoulder pain.
• 15:31
  The next thing was I did not wash my face.
• 15:36
  OK. For like 4 days I didn't have
• 15:39
  makeup on or any skin care or anything cuz I hadn't been able
• 15:43
  to really care about that. And I got up one day and looked
• 15:47
  in the mirror and I thought, God, where somebody has not
• 15:50
  washed their face, used any skin care, What's the deal?
• 15:54
  Your wrinkles have kind of like disappeared a little bit.
• 15:58
  And well, I realized because of the cough, I was sitting
• 16:01
  straight up when I slept, I wasn't laying flat like I
• 16:04
  normally do, like a side sleeper.
• 16:07
  And I all of a sudden it dawned on me because, you know, people
• 16:10
  always talk about those pillows that prop you up and they they
• 16:14
  don't sleep on. They always sleep on their
• 16:17
  reflux. And things.
• 16:19
  Like that for wrinkles, if you follow any beauty influencers,
• 16:22
  they all have that wedge pillow that they sleep on because it
• 16:27
  prevents the wrinkles. And I like I said, I'm a side
• 16:30
  sleeper. So I definitely, you know, and
• 16:33
  so I noticed that right away and I'm like, gosh, that's a real
• 16:36
  thing. Like you're you, you don't have
• 16:39
  the puffiness. What about your eyes?
• 16:41
  Because the chest wrinkles are terrible when I was terrible.
• 16:44
  Yes, I'm telling you it was like I shocking, OK?
• 16:51
  And also. I realized I may be allergic to
• 16:54
  eggs. OK, you didn't have any eggs
• 16:57
  while you were sick and you finally I had.
• 16:59
  No, I had no appetite whatsoever.
• 17:01
  So all of a sudden when I went back to my normal like eating
• 17:06
  pattern and I would have my scrambled eggs for breakfast, my
• 17:09
  nose started dripping and I'm like think I might be allergic
• 17:13
  to eggs. So much accomplished while you
• 17:15
  were sick. So.
• 17:16
  Much accomplished and also Speaking of beauty, I didn't
• 17:21
  look in my magnifying mirror for like 9 days, which I don't know
• 17:24
  about you ladies, but if you have a magnifying mirror, you're
• 17:28
  so hypercritical of yourself because you can see everything
• 17:32
  magnified 10 to 15 times. So I didn't do that anymore.
• 17:36
  And I was like, wow, maybe you should throw the magnifier, you
• 17:39
  know, throw it out because I'm constantly be critical of little
• 17:44
  things that no one else sees because they can't see you
• 17:46
  magnified 15 times. And another thing I learned,
• 17:51
  everyone had to go on without me.
• 17:55
  So everyone made dinner, everyone cleaned the house,
• 18:01
  everyone did the laundry. And so when I got up after the
• 18:06
  company left to go out of, you know, back home, I was in a
• 18:10
  state of shock because I'm the one that does all that.
• 18:14
  And I thought nobody else was competent enough to do all that.
• 18:19
  And they made the roast I bought.
• 18:21
  They did everything all on their own without being asked.
• 18:25
  And I have to tell you, that was the most an eye opening thing
• 18:30
  out of the whole thing because you know how you feel like no
• 18:33
  one else could do it. Like you can do it.
• 18:34
  No one else can cook, like you can't do the laundry or clean or
• 18:38
  anything. It was unbelievable to know that
• 18:41
  these human beings. You raised them right, including
• 18:44
  your husband. Including my husband can
• 18:47
  actually do something. Maybe they thought I was dying.
• 18:50
  Maybe they did. Whoa.
• 18:53
  So, OK, is that the extent of all of it?
• 18:56
  Well, my last. Question is is a little sad
• 18:59
  because when you have time to contemplate I'm like how many
• 19:02
  Christmases do I really have left now that I just waste no.
• 19:05
  Here she goes. So I was like, because, you
• 19:08
  know, I had family and I'm like my mom's 86, my grandson's
• 19:12
  little. So I'm contemplating, don't
• 19:14
  ever, ever do that. Don't contemplate how many
• 19:17
  summers you have left when you're doing.
• 19:20
  Your own actuary? No, you don't want.
• 19:22
  To do it, No, because it's not fun, because the reality is not
• 19:27
  not good. You know you don't need to know
• 19:29
  that. That you're on a need to know
• 19:31
  basis? No, you needed to know how many
• 19:33
  you had left. Yes.
• 19:34
  God would tell you. Yes, exactly.
• 19:36
  It's a. Mystery for a.
• 19:37
  Reason. So that is something I learned,
• 19:41
  that taking a break was good for me and I never really thought of
• 19:47
  that. Well, I I'm sorry that you were
• 19:49
  under the weather. I hate that you had to feel
• 19:51
  lousy in order to make all these these right.
• 19:55
  You know, Eureka things happen in your life.
• 19:58
  OK, I want to ask you a question.
• 20:00
  Speaking of being kind of a dark and melancholy, were you able to
• 20:04
  recover enough to participate in your family tradition of dead
• 20:07
  person karaoke? No.
• 20:08
  I was down and out for. Those who don't know Christine,
• 20:12
  it's a Christmas Day tradition. They do karaoke of any artists
• 20:15
  that have passed away. Yes, for the.
• 20:17
  Year and you would have had. There wasn't a big selection.
• 20:20
  It wasn't like. Last year, last year, the last
• 20:23
  year, it was Tina Turner. Yeah, there were a lot this past
• 20:26
  year. I don't think I missed much.
• 20:29
  Thank God. Thank goodness we don't.
• 20:31
  Want to have a long? No, but you know definitely what
• 20:35
  took me down for about 10 days. It was a long one.
• 20:38
  There was no chance. No, there was no chance.
• 20:40
  No thank you. But it's over.
• 20:42
  I'm back to normal. So, well, well, we're so happy
• 20:47
  everyone is back with us for the new year and.
• 20:50
  We're excited. We're.
• 20:52
  Very excited. You see, we have a new a new set
• 20:54
  and we'll tell you more about that in our next episode.
• 20:57
  But for now, just remember you don't have to get sick with the
• 21:00
  grunge to take a break and let it go.
• 21:04
  And don't look back.