Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How To Get A Narcissist To Do What You Want

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How To Get A Narcissist To Do What You Want · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  What's going on, beautiful folks.
• 0:03
  Today we're talking about how to get a narcissist to do what you
• 0:07
  want. Hey, y'all, Results may vary.
• 0:10
  I had to say that. I had to say that at the
• 0:12
  beginning. I can't wait till later on and
• 0:14
  say, Oh yeah, guys, results may vary.
• 0:16
  No, right now at the beginning, how to get a narcissist to do
• 0:19
  what you want, but results may vary.
• 0:22
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:23
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:26
  of the Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
• 0:46
  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
• 0:47
  Welcome back. Yes, results.
• 0:50
  They vary. I had to say it again.
• 0:52
  Yeah, I had to say it again. I know people.
• 0:55
  You know, this is not to the majority, but I know people will
• 0:59
  hear this and just just go do it right now.
• 1:01
  Like they'll they'll they'll pause the video right when I say
• 1:04
  the tactics and they'll just go try try it right now and try
• 1:07
  this right now. Hey, honey Lee said, Oh, it
• 1:10
  didn't work. No, Lee's wrong.
• 1:14
  Results may vary, but typically these this this works out.
• 1:21
  Before we hop deep into today's episode, y'all, if you have it
• 1:24
  already, make sure to hit that subscribe button.
• 1:26
  That's all I'm asking. No website, no books.
• 1:30
  Just hit the subscribe button. Help support the channel.
• 1:32
  Let's hit this 500K before the end of February.
• 1:34
  Look, we, I think we can do it. I really think we can do it,
• 1:36
  y'all, And I appreciate y'all support, but yes, y'all, how to
• 1:41
  get a narcissist to do what you want.
• 1:43
  This is Yeah, I know a lot of people.
• 1:45
  Y'all see right there with your popcorn.
• 1:46
  Y'all got a soda ready. You got a you got a protein bar,
• 1:51
  protein shake. Y'all ready Like Lee, stop
• 1:54
  stalling. Tell us now, y'all.
• 2:01
  The fastest way to get a narcissist to do what you want,
• 2:04
  most times it's to pretend like it's something that they want.
• 2:08
  You have to make it feel. You have to form it or shape it
• 2:14
  in a way that is beneficial to them or that it seems beneficial
• 2:19
  to them, right? That it seems beneficial to
• 2:23
  them. It's like like, yeah, a lot of
• 2:24
  times y'all know, narcissistic people, narcissists do not like
• 2:30
  to compromise. Like we do not like to
• 2:32
  compromise at all. Like there, there there'll be no
• 2:34
  compromise. It's my way or the highway or
• 2:37
  the, the, the freeway, whatever the situation is, right?
• 2:41
  That type of stuff doesn't always happen, right?
• 2:44
  That that type of stuff doesn't always happen to people.
• 2:46
  But this is the mentality. Narcissistic people don't like
• 2:50
  to compromise. They want it all about is it all
• 2:52
  or nothing? A lot of times they want it all
• 2:55
  to be about them. They want everything to be about
• 2:57
  them. They want, they want to win in
• 2:59
  some way, shape or form with it. And so that's what they try to
• 3:01
  do, right? This is what they try to do.
• 3:04
  They want to win. So you have to make them feel
• 3:07
  like they're winning. You have to outsmart them.
• 3:11
  Y'all, you got to stay one step ahead of them.
• 3:13
  Narcissist, it always seems like they're one step ahead of you
• 3:15
  because a lot of times they try to be right because narcissistic
• 3:18
  people, especially the smarter ones, want to be one step ahead.
• 3:22
  And so they can always defeat you or make you feel defeated.
• 3:25
  You have to try to stay one step ahead of them, you know?
• 3:27
  Yeah, I know you don't think you know them.
• 3:29
  I know a lot of people, just like I did at the end of the
• 3:31
  relationship. I didn't, I didn't recognize
• 3:33
  them anymore. I didn't know who I was dealing
• 3:34
  with anymore. That's understandable because I
• 3:36
  heard a lot of people say that, but a lot of people don't
• 3:38
  realize this. You do know them.
• 3:40
  You know their likes and dislikes.
• 3:41
  You know what makes them tick. You know what triggers them.
• 3:43
  You know what, at the at the end of the day, you know what they
• 3:46
  want, they want control. They want some type of access.
• 3:49
  They want to feel like they're in charge.
• 3:50
  They want to feel like they're making the decisions, right?
• 3:53
  This is what they want to feel like, right?
• 3:55
  So you have to make them feel like they're in some type of
• 3:58
  control, like they have some type of power, Like they like
• 4:00
  they made the decision, like the decision is all about them.
• 4:03
  It's like really realistically, a lot of people don't hop in the
• 4:06
  video just like, well, that sounds like reverse psychology.
• 4:08
  It might be a little, it might be a little splash reverse
• 4:11
  psychology, right? It might be a little bit because
• 4:14
  you have to get into their minds that this is more beneficial for
• 4:18
  you to do this then it would be for you not to do this, right?
• 4:22
  It'd be more beneficial for you to take heed and just attack it
• 4:25
  like this then it would be for you not to do it.
• 4:29
  And this is what a lot of people fall into right here.
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  And this is the the spaces a lot of people fall into.
• 4:33
  Like you have to understand like this is the narcissist.
• 4:37
  This is the toxic person like at the end of the day, they want to
• 4:41
  do what benefits them. So you have to make it feel like
• 4:44
  it's benefiting them. If you're trying to Co parent
• 4:46
  and you want to take them to a certain school or you want to do
• 4:49
  have them in a certain activity, you have to make it feel have to
• 4:52
  make it feel like it's going to make them look good.
• 4:55
  Hey babe, not even babe. This might be your ex.
• 4:57
  You going to let's say your ex's name Lee as well.
• 5:00
  Not L EE like mine, like you got Lee.
• 5:03
  Somehow they got a weird like they got a weird spelling of
• 5:05
  Lee. They got 4E SLE EE EE EE
• 5:08
  exclamation mark, right? That's Lee.
• 5:11
  That's Lee. Lee.
• 5:14
  Not Lee. I'm Lee.
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  That's Lee. So you say hey, Lee.
• 5:19
  I really, I think it would be good for the kids to go to this
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  school right here because it makes us look like good parents.
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  It benefits you. It makes you look like you're
• 5:27
  making the best decision available for your kids.
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  It makes you look like it's going to make you.
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  It's going to make us, It's going to make people just look,
• 5:34
  smile at us, you know, it's going to make it seem like we
• 5:36
  work together very well. And that's what's going to make
• 5:38
  it seem like people going to look at us like the the model Co
• 5:41
  parents, even though we don't get along all the time.
• 5:43
  You don't have to say that part right there, but it's going to
• 5:46
  make us look. It's going to make you look
• 5:47
  good. You can't you, you might not
• 5:49
  want to say it just like that, but you know who you're dealing
• 5:52
  with. And will that work all the time?
• 5:54
  No, because some people, yeah, let's be real.
• 5:57
  That's why I say, that's why I said at the beginning, results
• 5:59
  may vary. Some people just want to be
• 6:02
  antagonistic with you. Some narcissistic people
• 6:05
  absolutely just want to be antagonistic with you because
• 6:08
  this is how their minds work. This is what they want to do.
• 6:11
  Like, they are just trying to counter you.
• 6:14
  So you have to counter them. You have to make it feel like
• 6:16
  it's a benefit to them. You really do.
• 6:19
  I was just like, well, like, damn it, that sucks.
• 6:20
  Why gotta do this? Yeah, you don't have to do this.
• 6:23
  This is just a suggestion. These are not demands.
• 6:26
  This is not a manifest. This is not Lee's manifesto or
• 6:28
  Lee's listed demands. No, these are just this is this
• 6:32
  is a suggestion to make it feel like it's benefit them another
• 6:36
  way. Y'all stroke their net.
• 6:37
  Yo again, stroke their egos. Believe why you say it slow like
• 6:43
  that. I was thinking something else.
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  You got a dirty mind. That's what you thinking
• 6:46
  something else, right? That's why you was thinking
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  something else. Stroke their egos, not anything
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  else. No, no cheek clapping.
• 6:53
  We're we're you're past that. Don't go back into that.
• 6:57
  Don't give them no cheeks. They that that will not be part
• 7:00
  of the that would not be part of the game plan.
• 7:01
  We're gonna come back to the ego, but that will not be part
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  of the game plan. Right there.
• 7:04
  Y'all, We're not sleeping with them.
• 7:07
  Do I don't give them no ass. Don't give them no, no, no, no,
• 7:11
  Willy. Don't give them nothing.
• 7:12
  They no, no. Take that off the table.
• 7:15
  We'll leave. I don't give it to them.
• 7:16
  They refuse to be a parent. You got to have a Plan B.
• 7:20
  You have you. You have to have a Plan B or
• 7:22
  you're going to end up taking some plan BS.
• 7:23
  But you have another damn baby with this person and he going to
• 7:26
  feel worse. Imagine having imagine trying to
• 7:28
  cooperate with one. Now you got 234 because they
• 7:31
  didn't want to do anything for the first kid unless you gave
• 7:34
  them some unless you unless y'all was sleeping together.
• 7:36
  No, take that off the list. That's great.
• 7:38
  If you hadn't wrote if you wrote that down on your list of how to
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  get them to do what you want, take that off.
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  Take it off. Take it off.
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  There's a Teddy Pendergrass in it.
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  Take it off. Take them off.
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  No, take that off the list, y'all.
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  I know, I know it's tough. I know it's hard and it's be
• 7:53
  very difficult. Everybody, everybody situation
• 7:55
  going to be difficult right now I'm here judging you, but you
• 7:58
  you have to find a way to take that off the list or they're not
• 8:01
  really going to be parents, right?
• 8:02
  They're not. They don't really want to be a
• 8:03
  parent. They just exist and they're just
• 8:05
  a body, you know what I mean? So back to the ego.
• 8:08
  Sometimes you got to stroke their egos, make them feel good,
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  make them feel like it's the best decision possible.
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  Make them feel like now you, everybody's going to look at you
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  like such a great parent. You going to be such, you going
• 8:16
  to look like such a great mom, such a great dad.
• 8:18
  You looks like such a great husband or ex-husband.
• 8:21
  You going to look like such a great ex-wife or wife.
• 8:23
  You going to look, this is your partner, your friend.
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  You going to be like, you going to look like such a great
• 8:27
  friend. Everybody you're going to look
• 8:29
  like you're so helpful if you donate this money, if you, you,
• 8:32
  you're going to look so good. If you do this, you're going to
• 8:36
  look. Our kids are going to look so
• 8:37
  good with their haircut and then they don't they don't think you
• 8:39
  take care of your kids. You see what I'm saying?
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  Instead of walking around with put little, you know, cotton
• 8:45
  balls in their head from the pillows and you know, socks all
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  socky socked up and what not, you know what I mean?
• 8:51
  That type of stuff happened. You have to stroke their ego to
• 8:53
  make them feel good. You're such a good parent.
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  You're such a good friend. You've been such a good Co
• 8:57
  worker. You've been such a good son or
• 8:59
  daughter. If this is your son or daughter,
• 9:01
  because sometimes they can be your kids, right?
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  You have to stroke their egos to make them feel good.
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  I know it doesn't make you feel good sometimes, y'all.
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  And again, you don't have to do this, y'all.
• 9:09
  This is not me telling you to do this.
• 9:10
  But sometimes you have to stroke their egos to make them feel
• 9:12
  good about doing something that's going to benefit you.
• 9:15
  They'll feel good. They'll, they'll do it.
• 9:17
  A smile on their face, stroking their ego.
• 9:19
  Again, stroking their ego does not mean stroking them in the
• 9:22
  bedroom. It doesn't does not mean bedroom
• 9:24
  strokes. No, no, it does not mean that
• 9:30
  you're not stroking into that room.
• 9:32
  Y'all. That's that's what we're not
• 9:33
  doing. Take that off y'all.
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  Take that off the list. Take that off the list right
• 9:37
  there, because that does not work.
• 9:39
  You know, it might work to keep them in your life, but actually
• 9:42
  Co parent or whatever. Hey, I need some money.
• 9:45
  The kids need diapers. Well, you know, you know what I
• 9:47
  need? I need some cheeks.
• 9:49
  No, that's not y'all. That's not exchange.
• 9:52
  That's not an equal exchange, $20.00 for some diapers, for
• 9:55
  some cheeks. I I, I thought the going rate
• 9:58
  was 40 at least. Damn, $40.40 dollars.
• 10:01
  Yeah, because you're joking. Yeah, But this is what I hear,
• 10:07
  right? This is what I see.
• 10:08
  This is what a lot of people are going through and experiencing.
• 10:11
  So this is what you have to do. Like I said, this is part of
• 10:13
  this is part of the life. This is part of the dynamic you
• 10:16
  get when you're dealing with a manipulator.
• 10:18
  Sometimes you have to stroke their ego, you know, and
• 10:21
  sometimes, y'all, let's just be real.
• 10:22
  I'm just be real. Sometimes you have to force them
• 10:27
  to do what you want, right? Sometimes you have to absolutely
• 10:33
  force them to do what you want. In these situations.
• 10:36
  You have to yeah, you have to take the negotiations off the
• 10:39
  off the table. Like one of my friends, Lisa
• 10:42
  Sunny, stronger than before. She she ain't she not
• 10:45
  negotiating no more. She didn't got to the point
• 10:47
  where she tried that. She tried all the other tactics,
• 10:49
  Co parenting, whatever. Sometimes you got to force them
• 10:51
  to do what you want. Sometimes you got to force it go
• 10:53
  to court. Sometimes you got to get
• 10:55
  restraining orders to leave them alone or leave.
• 10:56
  How do I get them leave me alone?
• 10:57
  This is what I want. I want them to leave me alone.
• 10:59
  How do I get it? Sometimes you have to make it
• 11:01
  seem beneficial to you, right? But also sometimes you got to
• 11:05
  force them to leave you alone, call the police, do something
• 11:09
  like that. You have to be able to do that
• 11:12
  because if you don't, yeah, if you don't, this is what happens.
• 11:15
  This is what goes on. This is the, this is what ends
• 11:17
  up happening at the end of the day.
• 11:19
  They're going to feel like they're entitled to your space,
• 11:21
  entitled to your time, entitled to every single thing out there.
• 11:25
  And they're going to keep doing it because they feel like, why
• 11:27
  not do it? Why not?
• 11:30
  Why not? You know, And they're going to
• 11:33
  keep doing it because they feel entitled to it.
• 11:35
  Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
• 11:36
  You got to evict them. You got to restrain the orders.
• 11:38
  You got to call the cops. You have to, you know, like to
• 11:41
  change the locks. You have to turn their phone
• 11:43
  off. If you're paying their phone
• 11:44
  bill, you have to, you have to, you have to put their stuff out.
• 11:48
  If they refuse to get their stuff, get them to do what you
• 11:51
  want. Sometimes you have to apply some
• 11:53
  force. You have to say no.
• 11:55
  You have to stand up for yourself.
• 11:56
  You have to set some boundaries. I know that makes when I tell
• 11:58
  people that right there when I say that when I normally get to
• 12:00
  that part, people get uncomfortable like I have a
• 12:02
  problem saying no because I feel guilty.
• 12:04
  You feel guilty about holders might accountable for their
• 12:07
  actions. You see what I'm saying?
• 12:10
  They actually did something to you.
• 12:11
  You're not doing this for no reason, y'all?
• 12:13
  You're not doing this for no reason.
• 12:15
  This is what happens sometimes right right here, right here,
• 12:17
  because they might be acting right right now, but you're
• 12:20
  emotionally disconnected from them, especially if you're in a
• 12:22
  relationship. They might be on their best
• 12:24
  behavior right now, but you're logged out.
• 12:26
  You're out of it like you, you literally mentally out of it.
• 12:28
  You don't want to be with this person anymore.
• 12:29
  You don't want to talk to this person, deal with this person,
• 12:32
  have anything to do with this person, right?
• 12:35
  So you're done. And it makes you feel guilty
• 12:38
  about kicking them out or breaking up with them or get
• 12:41
  filing for divorce or filing for separation, whatever it is right
• 12:43
  here, because they're on their best behavior, but they've done
• 12:46
  something wrong to you. They made you emotionally
• 12:48
  disconnect from you. You didn't just emotionally
• 12:50
  disconnect from them for no reason.
• 12:51
  You're not a narcissist. You didn't just like wake up one
• 12:53
  day and you're like, damn, everything's going amazing.
• 12:56
  I just don't like you anymore. You know what I'm saying?
• 12:59
  Some people do that and not be a nurse sometimes.
• 13:01
  But I'm just saying you're not a narcissist.
• 13:03
  I just feel like you and a lot of times in these situations
• 13:06
  where you're dealing with this person, they've lied to you so
• 13:08
  much. They've cheated on you so much.
• 13:09
  They've belittled you so much. They've invalidated you so much.
• 13:11
  They like they've been doing it for so long.
• 13:13
  Or if it's been so intense that you just, you're just
• 13:17
  emotionally disconnected. You're just emotionally logged
• 13:19
  out. There's nothing wrong with being
• 13:20
  emotionally disconnected from them.
• 13:21
  That's yeah. At the end of the at the end of
• 13:23
  the day, that's on them. Their behaviors, their behaviors
• 13:27
  and their actions have led you here.
• 13:29
  It hasn't been anything other. It hasn't been anything else.
• 13:32
  Their behaviors and actions have led you to this point.
• 13:36
  It hasn't been you just like, OK, this is over and I'm done
• 13:39
  with it. You, you haven't came to this
• 13:41
  decision lightly like you. This is, you know, there's been
• 13:45
  a lot of moving pieces that have contributed to getting you here.
• 13:48
  So it makes sense of how things are going and how you got here.
• 13:51
  You know what I mean? So don't feel guilty about
• 13:54
  calling it quits when they're on their best behavior because they
• 13:57
  could have been on their best behavior their entire time and
• 13:59
  they just chose not to be on their best behavior.
• 14:01
  You know what I mean? You see what I'm saying?
• 14:03
  This is what happens. But anyways, y'all, thanks for
• 14:06
  rocking me to the end of this video.
• 14:07
  I appreciate y'all so much. Again, I request humbly request,
• 14:12
  did you subscribe to the channel and help us reach 500,000?
• 14:18
  Anyways, y'all, whatever side is right here, be safe, take care
• 14:21
  of yourselves, take care of each other and as always, y'all
• 14:23
  mentor who misses out. Peace.
• 14:24
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 14:26
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 14:29
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 14:31
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
• 14:36
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 14:38
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 14:41
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 14:43
  I will see you in the next video.
• 14:44
  Peace.