Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Episode 820: Creating a Movement with Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar

Transcript

Episode 820: Creating a Movement with Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Trauma Therapist Podcast. Plus listeners can listen to episodes early and ad free right
0:04
now. Become a Plus listener by going to Apple Podcasts searching for the Trauma
0:09
Therapist Podcast and signing up today. All right, welcome back to the Trauma
0:24
Thepist podcast. My name is Gamiferson. My mission is to help trauma therapist
0:29
be their incredible selves, to be human, to be real, not just
0:33
a clinician. I'm a big believer in who we are is more important than
0:37
what we know, and this requires cultivating authenticity, genuineness, and vulnerability,
0:42
and that requires intention. Can learn more about my courses and workshops by going
0:47
to the Trauma Therapist project dot com. That's the Trauma Therapist Project dot com.
0:53
Let's get started, all right, we go five or three, two
0:57
and one, our folks, welcome back to the podcast. I am very
1:00
excited to have Like I said, hey, doctor Quinn Galloway Salazar, Quinn
1:06
welcome, Thank you guys, thank you so much for having me on this
1:10
Tuesday. Is it Tuesday? I think today is a Tuesday. Yeah,
1:14
and you're very welcome. I'm excited to hear so. Quinn is an Army
1:19
veteran, an end of Life Doulah, educator and founder of In Their Honor
1:25
LLC. Throughout more than two decades of dedication to enhancing the quality of life
1:30
and wellbeing of military and veteran communities, Quinn has acquired a deep understanding of
1:34
how military experiences can have long term impacts on one's life and the lives of
1:40
loved ones. Her passion for serving those who have served their country is reflected
1:45
in a work. She deeply understands unique needs and challenges that veterans face is
1:49
their approach the end of their lives, and she's committed to raising awareness and
1:53
implementing initiatives to address these issues. Once again, Quinn, welcome to the
1:59
podcast, asked before we get going, share with the listeners where you're from
2:02
originally and where you are currently. So I am originally from New York City,
2:09
born and raised in New York and I currently live in Georgia. Day
2:15
difference, right, not a day difference from the East. Moved to the
2:20
South kind of like the slowest, the slowness of the South. So I
2:24
stayed Okay, awesome, So how did you get here? How is it?
2:32
This is what gets me. How is it that you and I are
2:36
sitting down here right now and talking yeah, yeah, you know. Oftentimes
2:39
I get that question and just being totally candid when someone says, you know,
2:46
what do you do and then I tell them I'm in the end of
2:51
life space, you can almost see people kind of wanting to retract that question
2:58
because it's like, what hand door of box did I just open, you
3:04
know, just to It's been an interesting journey. For the last over two
3:09
decades. I've been serving in the space of service members, veterans, and
3:14
their families, particularly in the space of behavioral health. And I was working
3:21
in twenty twenty one, I was finishing up my PhD and I was working
3:24
on my dissertation where I focused my study on post nine to eleven women veterans
3:30
transitions, and several of those women shared the trauma that they experienced, whether
3:36
it was combat trauma or military sexual trauma, that they faced while they were
3:42
in service, and how it impacted them along their life journey. I found
3:49
myself at that place guy saying, Okay, how does trauma and how does
3:53
one's military experience show back up throughout the course of life, especially at the
4:00
end of life, and as a society, what are we doing about that.
4:10
What type of existential questions did I have? Right? And in the
4:15
midst of asking myself that question, I asked it to my mentor. And
4:18
at the time one of my closest mentors, her name was doctor Kate Hendrix
4:24
Thomas. She was living with stage four metastatic breast cancer. Kate knew she
4:32
was dying at the time, and I asked her those tough questions, and
4:39
we set forth this journey of well, Quinn, what the heck are you
4:42
going to do about this? So I did my research and guy I stumbled
4:47
across a role that was called an end of life doula, or for others
4:53
they may know it as a death doula, and I said, sign me
4:56
up. I became a death doula, and I started volunteering my time in
5:00
hospice, and before I knew it, what I thought would be just a
5:06
passion project in my community started becoming a movement around the country for those that
5:15
were saying to themselves, Wow, what are we doing? What are we
5:18
doing in our communities? How are we showing up for caregivers and their loved
5:24
ones and as healthcare providers, how are we doing this work? Interfacing trauma?
5:32
But also caring for ourselves along the way, and in a nutshell,
5:40
two years later, I've had the great opportunity to partner with an organization called
5:46
the psych Armor Institute, through a generous donation, to create a series of
5:53
courses specifically focused on caring for veterans through the end of their lives. Wow.
6:00
No, seriously, I mean so amazing, and you're so amazing and
6:05
such an intense topic. So where does your military experience come in? Yeah,
6:15
so my military experience comes in dead smack in two thousand and one.
6:20
So I enlisted in the Army April two thousand and one and probably going to
6:26
date myself. But when I joined the Army the last major conflict, I
6:30
was in the third grade, and so surely in my mind, I thought
6:34
I can do my enlistment time unscathed. Within two weeks of getting out of
6:41
basic training, nine eleven happened, And as I shared in the beginning of
6:45
our conversation, I'm from New York City, and it changed the trajectory of
6:50
my life. I was a criminal justice major in college at that time.
6:57
In two thousand and three, I was called up to active duty because I
7:00
was a reservist. I was called up an act to active duty, and
7:03
I supported efforts at Fort Bragg in North Carolina supporting service members that were deploying
7:12
to the police and boy did I learn a lot there. I served in
7:17
finance, but I also served in postal And while I served in the postal
7:23
service, that's where I heard the stories. That's where I heard the stories
7:30
of enlisted members and officers share their worries and their concerns about deploying. But
7:39
that was also where I heard the stories of soldiers that were coming off of
7:43
active duty who completed their tours of what it was like to be in theater.
7:55
When you decided on that on the topic for your dissertation, were you
8:01
thinking trauma? That is that I was not thinking trauma while I was completing
8:13
my dissertation. Actually, I was serving as the co director for Stamps's and
8:18
the VA Service Member Veterans and their Families Technical Assistant Center, where I focused
8:22
on suicide prevention. Right, so my work world was immersed in trauma,
8:30
whereas my PhD, I wanted to focus on veterans entering into the civilian workforce.
8:37
But in that more specifically, what were you thinking entering into the workforce?
8:43
And what else entering into the workforce, and how organizations could support veterans
8:48
that were doing that transition and supporting them in the workplace. How can we
8:54
set up you know, peer groups, how can we set up professional development,
8:58
mentor networking, all of those things that can help with ease that transition
9:05
from wearing that uniform to entering that workforce. Right, because I experienced a
9:11
challenge when I got off of active duty. I didn't know what in the
9:15
world, right, like it just serving and uniforming and serving as a soldier
9:20
is completely different than working in the civilian workforce, and so I always wanted
9:24
to go back to that. But little did I know doing that work and
9:31
doing that research it would lead me down a whole nother trail to see how
9:35
trauma does impact someone long term. Right, It was just a magnificent experience
9:46
and to journey with those women veterans and to hear their stories because oftentimes,
9:50
as women our story we feel invisible, we feel overshadowed by our male counterparts,
9:56
and just giving them the space to share gave some of them the opportunity
10:03
to share a part of themselves that they never had the opportunity to share.
10:07
For some it gave them the opportunity to have closure that they never had the
10:11
opportunity to fulfill. So that was just a wonderful experience through and through,
10:16
and for myself it caused me to close that loop of my journey as well
10:22
in understanding that for me to be able to do the work that I'm doing,
10:28
I had to experience. I had to have some of that lived experience
10:33
that have a full understanding of what my fellow women veterans were going through and
10:39
veterans as a whole. So you were interviewing these women, yes, how
10:45
were you doing that? Was it over zoom in person or it was over
10:48
zoom in the middle of the pandemic? And share with us some specifics about
10:56
when things started to shift for you, when you started to say, oh
11:01
my gosh, this is maybe heading into a different direction for me. Yeah,
11:05
so towards the end, right, So I would say, when I
11:09
was going back and I was listening to all of my recordings and I was
11:13
pulling out themes, and I started to see similar themes as it related to
11:16
trauma, and that was the point where I started saying, wow, Right,
11:24
we spend a lot of time in the space of veteran service organizations focused
11:31
on you know, post traumatic stress and suicide prevention and trauma. But how
11:41
far do we go with looking at it along life's continual right? And is
11:48
it because if there's such a stigma as it relates to death and dying,
11:52
that we really don't touch that point along the continuum. And what do we
11:58
do? So what did you start to do? How did things unfold for
12:05
you? So I finished my PhD. My this is congratulations on that.
12:11
I mean, I know you know that journey, right, I know you
12:16
know that journey. My dissertation chair said, when I know you want to
12:20
solve world peace and I know you want to save the world, finish this
12:24
dissertation and then go do that. And so that's what I did. I
12:31
finished my dissertation and then I really jumped in feet first in the end of
12:37
life space and I started companioning. My very first veteran that I companioned with
12:43
was a Vietnam veteran and guy I'll never forget when him and I began meeting,
12:48
one of the first questions he had out the door was why do you
12:52
want to be my friend? Do you have any idea? What I did,
13:00
and he had these really hard questions that he would ask the you know,
13:05
maybe the first to third, maybe fourth session, that was when we
13:11
got to this breakthrough. But I tell people all the time, I had
13:15
to pass Muster. I had to pass the point where he felt like we
13:20
built a strong enough rapport where he could trust me, where he could show
13:24
up and be his full self, be transparent, and be vulnerable and know
13:31
that I wasn't going to leave because I heard something hard, and he shared
13:35
with me what it was like for him when he came home, and how
13:41
society did not welcome him home, how his family struggled with just the challenges
13:48
he faced with his trauma, and how he struggled with his own trauma which
13:54
caused him to isolate, which caused him to lose significant way relationships across his
14:01
life. And I remember one particular day sitting with him and he said,
14:07
well, how long are you going to how long are you going to keep
14:09
showing up? My response was, I'm going to keep showing up for you
14:15
as long as you have breath in your body, and then I'll keep showing
14:18
up for your family. And it's been that way. That was my first
14:28
and I've had several after that. But now I'm to the point where I
14:31
care for one veteran because my work is it's almost like I'm dulaing end of
14:39
life professionals who are doing this work. I'm duelaing communities that want to show
14:43
up and do this work. And that is beyond my wildest dream. I
14:50
literally just wanted to show up at the bedside to allow a veteran to know
14:54
they are not alone at the end of their lives. It's one thing to
15:01
do a dissertation and experience need to experience how the knowledge unfolds and your direction
15:09
shifts and think, okay, well, wow, I've discovered this. There's
15:13
a need here. I'm gonna focus on end of life and it's another thing
15:20
entirely to do it. What made you feel or know that you could sit
15:28
with people during that time? Joke. A lot of people listening are going,
15:33
thank God, she's doing it, you God bless her. But I
15:37
could. That is intense. It's scary. It's scary for a lot of
15:41
us. Mm hmm, it is. That was a little girl and I
15:48
had a neighbor that lived across the street. I spent my weekends in Long
15:52
Island, and I lived this city life during the week and on the weekends
15:58
I had the suburban life. And at the time there was a famous child
16:04
author by the name of R. L. Stein and ral Stein wrote horror
16:11
stories for children, and my girlfriend that lived across the street. Her name
16:17
is Stephanie Scott Andrews, and it's okay that I share her name. Her
16:21
and I came up with this game guy that one of us would play the
16:27
decendent and the other would play the mortician. And we played that game we
16:37
were maybe about seven or eight years old. Death and dying has always intrigued
16:44
me ever since I was a little girl. When I got off of active
16:48
duty in two thousand and four, I did a short apprenticeship in a funeral
16:53
home because I considered going to mortuary school. Unfortunately, because of the stigma
17:02
attached to death and dying, I did not have the support that I needed
17:04
for me to do that at the time, and so I put it on
17:08
pause until the pandemic. I mentioned my girlfriend Stephanie because what's very interesting is
17:15
I ended up becoming an end of life doulah and she ended up becoming a
17:19
hospice social worker. So I say to people, I didn't choose this work
17:26
or chose me. What is the difference between those a hospice worker and an
17:33
end of life Doulah, Yeah, so a hospice So working in an hospice
17:37
as a social worker, that social worker is there to provide resources and supports
17:45
whatever's in the community for that veteran or for that patient. That social worker
17:51
is kind of like that point person that family can go to, say,
17:53
for instance, they're trying to figure out, well, what are the benefits
17:57
right that a veteran can receive, what are the survivors' benefits that they can
18:03
receive, Where should we where should internment be? That hospital social worker can
18:07
loop that veteran's family or loved ones to wherever those supports are. Of course,
18:15
as a social worker as well, they're also ensuring that you know,
18:19
mental health, you know, is being addressed. They're also ensuring pain management,
18:25
it is being addressed, the symptomologies, all of that. They are
18:29
that person that goes back to that care team and says, this is what's
18:33
going on for that veteran, this is the needs of that veteran, and
18:37
they all come together as a care team to provide you know, hopefully state
18:41
of the art care for that veteran. Where is that doula That dula shows
18:48
up as a companion And I share with people all the time that dula show
18:52
up in various ways. You have many doulas that serve in hospice or palliative
18:57
cares, as nurses, as social workers. You have dulas that have been
19:03
administrators. Where they come from varies, but they have this heart to companion.
19:12
They have this heart to companion with the dying. They have a heart
19:17
to say during that eleventh hour or so that forty eight hour window of time
19:22
when we know that someone is actively dying, you have a doula that can
19:26
sit and present with the dying, to support that family, to educate that
19:33
family as to what is happening. Right, we all there's this book as
19:37
moms that we get what to expect when you're expecting. But on the other
19:42
end of the spectrum, it's kind of like a veil, right, that
19:48
doula is there, similar to a birth doula that's there to support that family
19:53
and that mother to midwife through birth. That doula is there on the other
19:59
end and to journey with that person that's dying and to journey with that family
20:04
to be of support. So you founded in their honor LLC talk to us
20:14
about what that is and what you do there. So I found it in
20:18
their honor to work alongside and to consult with community states and organizations that we're
20:26
desiring to build something called a compassionate community. And a compassionate community is a
20:30
community that says, we acknowledge that we have those that are aging, those
20:37
that are seriously ill, those that are that are facing life limiting illnesses,
20:41
and we all know that we have a role in this death and dying space,
20:45
and we're going to figure out ways to show up and do something about
20:49
it. So I started in their honor to do that work, to create
20:56
to have, you know, strategic planning session for one with communities to do
21:03
that work. And what would it look like for an urban community and what
21:07
would it look like for a rural community to stand up a coalition or an
21:11
initiative to address these needs and to implement it. We're in their honor Lives
21:18
now is partnering once again to still partner with communities, but now it's more
21:23
so inspiring communities to do this work and to raise awareness. I've had the
21:32
great honor of partnering with many of the doulal organizations through international at this point
21:38
to raise awareness about the unique challenges and the unique needs of veterans that are
21:44
facing their end of life. And so's it's almost like I had someone say
21:49
to me, Quinn, this is not just a moment. You've started a
21:53
movement, and that's huge. So everywhere that I go that I can educate
22:00
people on end of life, I do, and yes, indeed guide my
22:04
work is really focused and centered around veterans, but I often you know,
22:10
a colleague of both of ours, Mary Ell and Salzano, we talked and
22:14
she's like, You're the death conversationalist, and I'm like, I'll be the
22:17
death conversationalist because there's a reality to that. It is a part of our
22:22
human experience. It's often the one human experience that we're never prepared for.
22:30
What you mentioned the unique experiences of veterans during that time, What are those,
22:34
what are some of those so thinking about post traumatic stress and how you
22:41
know those triggers or rather activators show up at the end of life. You
22:48
know, someone may have deployed, let's talk about Vietnam for example, deployed
22:53
to a combat zone, experience just just the brutality and just the violence that
23:02
occurs in combat and comes home with that, and sometimes we don't diagnose it,
23:07
sometimes they never seek treatment, but it shows up at the end of
23:11
life, right. It may show up as a moral injury or soul injury.
23:18
It may show up as survivor's guilt. And for some of our veterans,
23:22
they may have never shared their experiences with their loved ones, and now
23:27
that they're facing this existential moment of dying, some of them have regrets and
23:33
unfinished business and the need for forgiveness and shame that they've carried for so many
23:41
years and guilt that they carried. So those are some of those unique experiences
23:47
that we can find some of course, there's trauma within our civilian population,
23:52
but specific to the military culture lies those challenges, right, and how for
23:59
many veterans, that stoicism, that battle mind that is kind of just ingrained
24:04
in who we be, right shows up and how can we be there and
24:14
show up and hear those experiences and hear those stories and try to work with
24:21
veterans to find peace. Can't say closure, but some form of peace.
24:29
That same veteran I shared the story with earlier that was in Vietnam. One
24:33
of the things that we did Guy was I had him write a letter to
24:38
his younger self. Didn't read it. I didn't read it. I had
24:45
him write it and burnt that letter. And just the mere fact that he
24:52
had the opportunity to get his feelings down on paper after all of those years,
25:00
there was something just the ritual of it. There was something cathartic within
25:03
doing that that he felt a sense of release, He felt a sense of
25:11
Okay, for this moment, I can move forward and put that part today.
25:22
And so it's that where when I have the opportunities to share that right
25:27
and thinking about providers because I know primarily that's that's the audience that will listen.
25:37
I had a chaplain share. I was doing a workshop in Michigan a
25:41
few months ago, and I had a chaplain share. Put your clipboard down.
25:48
As professionals and as providers, we want to know what the pain is
25:52
that. I want to know the admin piece, we want to know the
25:55
medical piece, but we forget that there's this human, there's this person,
26:00
and with these lived experiences and sometimes the greatest medicine, the greatest treatment plan
26:10
starts with just being present and listening to the story and listening to their experiences,
26:21
having a conversation with the family that may have secondary trauma because for years
26:27
they walked on elk eggshells because of their loved ones, their veterans trauma.
26:36
So I can't say enough how important it is to just sit for a moment
26:41
and listen to that story, listen to where that veteran has been. And
26:45
you have some veterans who feel like their military experience wasn't a major, you
26:51
know, experience in their lives, and that is fine, all of them.
26:55
The opportunity to just have you hold space, endlessen, put the clipboard
27:02
down. Put the clipboard down. What's been surprising for you as you started
27:15
doing this, as you started gaining more experience as a doula? Yeah,
27:27
what's been surprising to me? And this sounds so silly. I thought more
27:38
of this work was happening across the country. And when I talk to caregivers
27:48
and loved ones, and you'll often hear me separate the two using the term
27:56
family. Not all veterans have families, right, Some of the restated for
28:00
their families and have lost contact with their families. So I'll use the term
28:03
loved ones interchangeably, because a loved one maybe a neighbor that's caring for that
28:07
veteran. I thought we were doing more in our communities to show up and
28:15
be compassionate, but for veterans specifically veterans, for veterans specifically, and for
28:23
just for just being neighborly period. Right. But what I realized is we
28:29
don't know what we don't know. And oftentimes, you know, when someone
28:34
is dying, we will say you tell me, or someone has died,
28:38
tell me what you need in those moments. We don't know what we need.
28:44
Right. All we know is that we need to breathe and try to
28:47
and we hope to keep one step and one foot in front of the other.
28:52
I realized that as a nation, we need to have practical strategies,
28:56
practical ways to say, this is how I can show up. Right,
29:02
I may be able to show up to Sergeant Joe's house and give his wife
29:07
RESPI care so she can get out and get some fresh air. I may
29:11
be able to show up to Sergeant Jane's house, who you know has cancer
29:18
now because she was exposed to burn pits in Iraq and Afghanistan. But she
29:22
has a twelve year old son. I can go take his twelve Take her
29:26
twelve year old son to the park, let him run some energy off,
29:30
play some ball with him, have a moment where he has the opportunity to
29:36
realize that, in the midst of his family challenges and the grief that's coming
29:41
that's anticipated with his mom's death, that he's still a twelve year old boy,
29:47
right, and we can be there to support him. So I find
29:51
myself in this space, and I'm starting to see it happen in other communities
29:55
too, where people are saying, what are the practical things that we can
29:59
do to show up and to support and to hold space with veterans and community
30:07
members at large. But because my work is so specific to veterans but veterans,
30:11
how can we show up and be there? And I'm grateful for that.
30:18
I tell people all the time, which quin do you want? Right,
30:21
because oftentimes people say, you know, doctor Galloway salads are well,
30:22
doctor Galloway salads are practice is heartwork first? That's my first line of Dewy.
30:30
It's heart work, and then it's the headwork. Right. I look
30:33
at the research, of course, I look at the research, but For
30:37
me, it is showing lay people how they can show up. They're not
30:42
looking at the scholarly articles that guy you and I look at to stay abreast
30:48
as to what's happening, what evidence based practices, our best practices are happening.
30:52
They're not reading those things. So how can I take those things that
30:56
I read and make them It's so user friendly that my next door neighbor knows
31:03
how to show up and hold space in a capacity that he feels comfortable.
31:10
He's a barber, maybe he can go over to Sartain Joe's house and cut
31:14
his cut his hair, give him a shave, give him that dignity that
31:18
he knew was a part of who sarten Joe was in life. M wow,
31:26
as we wind down here, Quinn, No, seriously, it's just
31:33
it's so moving, you know, it's just so moving to talk to you.
31:40
I mean, you're obviously someone who is so passionate about this work,
31:45
and it's say the word intense, and I think that's when I can't find
31:52
a better word. But we as a culture still run away from this topic.
32:00
Yeah, a lot. It's hard to talk about, and yet you
32:05
seem to have not just walked into it. But dove into it. It
32:10
seems like you this is what I do. This is just who I am.
32:16
So I am who I am. M hmm. And it's an it's
32:22
a it's a it's an honor. It's my version of second service. All
32:30
right, it's an honor too. It's not my job, it's my vocation.
32:35
I feel like it's it's passion, it's purpose. It's hard work,
32:39
but it's hard work. And every opportunity that I can journey with a veteran
32:45
or a family or community or an organization, that's my way of saying thank
32:52
you, thank you. So what's the best way for people to reach out
33:01
and contact you? So? I think the easiest way to reach out and
33:06
contact me is probably my website, which is in their Honor dot info.
33:12
There is a contact me or contact us page there. Feel free to fill
33:16
it out. It comes directly to me. I answer every response that every
33:22
request that comes through that page. And if there's a way that I can
33:28
support. If you're a provider and you have questions, what are the questions
33:32
that you know we ask the dying that are appropriate. All I'm all open.
33:37
I'm totally open to coach and to provide guidance as you journey and as
33:43
you navigate this end of life space. Awesome, Quinn, so amazing talking
33:50
with you. You are definitely in coming back here. I'd love to have
33:55
you back. Yeah, just really inspired by what you do. Thank you
34:00
so much for being here. Thank you,