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Friends Worth Effort · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mama's.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: As I get older, it's harder to make and keep friends,
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: and I wonder sometimes if it's worth the effort. Well,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: let's ask our American mamas.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Alma Mama, and joining us now are American mama's Terry
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Edville and Kimberly Burlison.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I got to tell you this question is hitting home
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: for me because in the last several years there are
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: people that had been some of my closest friends and
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I can't get them to return texts. Sometimes It's just like,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: it's so hard to keep the relationship going. Is it
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: worth it? Is it worth the effort?
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: I think it's worth it. You know, it's funny that
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: you said that, because you know, we grew up the
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  Speaker 3: same kind of thing would happen as you go through life.
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  Speaker 3: You know, different friendships and my mom always used the
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: term that friendships are seasons. You know, there's seasons of
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: your life and friends will come in for a season
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: of your life and then they'll go away. You have
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: some that will stay forever, but most of your friends
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: will come and go. Right New Year's Eve, my kids,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: my son Stone and his wife Morgan they were going
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: to go be with some friends, and Morgan was kind
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: of like pouting because she wanted to go out and
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  Speaker 3: go experience, you know, the big reunion tower, the fireworks,
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: that kind of thing, and she's like, but my friends
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: they want to like rave and I just don't want
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: to do that. And then these other friends just complaining
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: about these different groups, and so they felt like they
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: were being because they're still young, you know, they were
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: being kind of like dorky because they just wanted to
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: go be with these other this one set of friends
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  Speaker 3: that they love, love being with, right, and they're just
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: going to sit at home and watch TV and be together.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: And I said, you were stepping into quality friendships now
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  Speaker 3: instead of quantity. You know, when you're young, you've got friends,
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: all these different friends, you know this and that. But
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: then as you age you start to get rid of
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: the fluff and you start with these really quality friendships.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: But even if you have a quality friendship, even if
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: you're fifty five, you're like our age, I have capacity
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  Speaker 3: of new to have new friends, right, you know I have.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I count you as a very dear and close friend absolutely,
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  Speaker 3: and it's like a new and that's exciting because five
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: years ago we weren't absolutely exactly, so it's all about seasons.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think you know. I'm with Kimberly on
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: all of that, except I will say this, with social media,
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: you can maintain those friendships just by simple comments and
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: you know, you know what a beautiful profile pick miss
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: you all that. What I've noticed is my kids were
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: all in sports and during that season, whether it's football
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: or baseball or summer soccer, I was they were my people.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: We were so tight. We plan the Denise Arthur and
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Denise Yes of course on the show. Still you know,
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: I consider her one of my dearest friends and all
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: the world. And so those people, you know, you may
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: not see them in the next season, but like if
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: we see each other at a wedding or if we
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: see each other at event, we're like, oh my god, Kelly,
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: you know, and you just get to catch you up.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: So I don't I don't feel like I walk away
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: from the friendship. In my heart, I just don't see
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: you because our kids. I was talking to steal in
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Testing about this the other day. I said, what you'll
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: find is you will make your children will bring you
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: some of your dearest friends because it is your children's parents.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: You are on the same page, same class. The moms
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: are working together to make different class parties happen or
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: banquets or things like that. So these friendships that are
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: during the seasons, it doesn't mean that you are not
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: friends anymore. You just don't see them. But when you
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: do see them, all of those feelings, all of that
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  Speaker 4: love that you have each other for each other is
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  Speaker 4: still there. And I what I.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Was just going to say, And I think it's a
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: little slightly different for a lot of men because there
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: is that joke that goes around that men don't have friends. True,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: they have wives who have friends and their friends very true.
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  Speaker 4: And I mean there's you're lucky if you're one of
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  Speaker 4: those that has your tight group of guy friends from
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  Speaker 4: high school or college. Y'all still stay in touch.
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  Speaker 2: Right, And I do. My group of friends from high
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  Speaker 2: school we are still very tight, but we are spread
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: out over multiple states, but we stay in touch, and
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  Speaker 2: you know, we talk a lot. But it's it's not
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  Speaker 2: like the same like, hey, you want to go watch
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: the game, Well I will at my house in my state,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: and you can do it at your house.
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: And exactly, yeah, that's true, So maybe it's maybe let's
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  Speaker 4: think of it two different ways. You know, the men
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: and the women. You know, if you take a question
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  Speaker 4: like this and they say, as I get as I
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: get older, it's harder to make and keep friends. Maybe
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  Speaker 4: if they look at it in a different way, with
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: a different perspective, that you don't really lose them. They're
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: still your friends. You just unless you want to be
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: the one to make the effort.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Well, think about mom. So Mom's you know, gets married
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: later in life again to write, she starts playing pickleball
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: and dancing. You saw many people came to a funeral,
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  Speaker 3: right and we didn't know ninety percent of them.
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  Speaker 2: And there are different groups of people.
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  Speaker 3: Different groups of people these new friends. So it's like,
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  Speaker 3: you're never too old to make new friends. But you're
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: also human. So if you do have a friend that
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: doesn't return calls or I mean, it's still going to
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: hurt you know, you still but I think that when
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  Speaker 3: you're older, you're like, Okay, let them. Have you ever
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: heard that term? Let them? They're not going to respond,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: let them right, you know, if they're not going to
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  Speaker 3: do this whatever, just let them.
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  Speaker 2: It's my goal not to burn a bridge. Yeah, I
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: think that's that's pretty important and it's not. I think
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: back to my meteorology time on television. I didn't never
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: want to offend someone so much that they wouldn't turn
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: into me if they needed something like a like there's
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: a tornado or something. I kind of view friendships the
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: same way, like, I don't want to ever write that
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  Speaker 2: off so much that if they're in trouble or you.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Know, they don't feel like they can call you exactly.
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  Speaker 2: I always want to be at least a lifeline at
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  Speaker 2: some point. I like that, but that takes effort.
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  Speaker 4: If you like.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Descar America on a question good our website American ground
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Radio dot com. Slash mom was a click on the
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: ass of the moment was button Terry Netville, Kimberly Brothers
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: and thank you so much, thank you, thank you,