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Ignasi Taltavul - Stadup comedy · Comedy Central Stand-Up

• 0:02
  Comedy Central Podcast very good. Let' s see. You' ve ever
• 0:18
  dated someone and after you cut him off, it' s been a while.
• 0:22
  You' ve thought about how long I spent on that one' s
• 0:26
  normal. You' ve had that feeling at all. Speak to the people
• 0:29
  who have had that feeling. Please, because someone thinks the same about you
• 0:36
  We are all the subnormal of someone, all some is a normal of several
• 0:41
  relaxed we have seen you calm. Okay. I' m back in Tinder.
• 0:47
  That was Tinder' s reaction, exactly that one. Maybe not Tinder.
• 0:53
  I don' t know if anyone is in Tinder, but I hate
• 0:57
  Tinder or I have to look fun all the time, have to look interesting
• 1:00
  and I feel like a phony, but why I am, because in Tinder
• 1:06
  I am the tourism ad of Aragon. I' ve taken four pictures that
• 1:11
  look cool but don' t go on holiday in Calatayud. You don'
• 1:14
  t want to, you don' t want to be there. No.
• 1:15
  Besides, I think in the end, flirting is that not flirting is hiding
• 1:19
  the negative part that you know perfectly well that you have is hiding your scheduled
• 1:26
  obsolescence. No. I already know that from three weeks I' ve started
• 1:29
  to depend too much on you, but you' ll know, when it
• 1:32
  ' s too late. Don' t want to spoiler. It' s
• 1:36
  not three weeks. Wait all the way, it' s not worth anything.
• 1:38
  Besides, I' m gay, so I have added problems whenever I
• 1:44
  ' m with another guy on a date. I notice the pressure from that
• 1:48
  guy who' s been looking at me like I haven' t been discriminated
• 1:53
  against all my life to end up with someone like you. I think I
• 1:59
  ' m gonna wait. I don' t think this is up to my
• 2:02
  suffering. Okay, you got two podcasts. You can' t be looking
• 2:07
  at your head. I' ll wait in a while. Besides, there
• 2:08
  ' s homophobia in the little things. Besides, there' s hemophobia It
• 2:12
  happens to me that when I' m on a date with another guy at
• 2:15
  the bar, the rosy peddler never offers us roses. Why I mean it.
• 2:20
  I don' t have all the right in the world to say no
• 2:23
  without looking him in the eye, because why is that right taken away from
• 2:27
  me. I don' t understand that it' s a rare claim,
• 2:32
  not that I want to be a classist, too. I' m nothing
• 2:37
  classy. In fact, I hate people who believe themselves above the situation.
• 2:39
  You know those people who, for example, say the hospital food is really
• 2:44
  bad is how these people saved your life. What else do you need from
• 2:49
  them? What else do you need? Liver surgery went very well. He
• 2:52
  took my tumor, but the soup was a little dull. I didn'
• 2:55
  t like this to fuck up what demands. I think, anyway, I
• 3:01
  think it' s a good time to be gay at stand up, in
• 3:05
  life, in my life, but at stand um I think it' s
• 3:08
  a good time. I' d like nothing less than to be a white
• 3:13
  cis man, hetorre sex doing stand up. A lot of pressure right now,
• 3:17
  a lot of pressure. From here I' m ally you straight guys.
• 3:23
  I' m here for what you need. I know they' re
• 3:25
  being tough times. If you want to cry on my shoulder I am,
• 3:30
  if you want to even do the spoon, why not? Why I'
• 3:32
  m not here. I think it' s an opportunity for you and maybe
• 3:37
  say, I' m a curious straight man. You know these people who
• 3:40
  say no I' m curious straight, not in a desperate attempt to escape
• 3:45
  the focus of privilege. Not to see if feminists don' t see me
• 3:46
  behind the curious letter, to see no curious hetero and curious tero, not
• 3:51
  your reviews don' t go with me. I don' t know.
• 3:54
  There' s people, there' s guys who to empathize with me say
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  hey, I' m straight, but I think I know how to recognize
• 4:03
  the beauty in a man is how I see Brad Pitt and you say he
• 4:06
  ' s good, careful, brave, uh, I mean in voice missing
• 4:08
  is controversial. That, uh, presents the proclamation, which presents the dragon.
• 4:11
  Yes, sir, finally, revolutionary voices. A day for you to
• 4:18
  get an idea. Where day was on a comedy show and a comedian in
• 4:24
  intimacy came up and told me, man, I wish I was gay to
• 4:27
  differentiate myself like what the fuck are you saying? You take fountains, man,
• 4:32
  what are you saying, what the fuck are you saying? I'
• 4:41
  m an atheist I don' t believe in God. In fact, I
• 4:45
  prefer that God does not exist. If you' re going to choose me,
• 4:47
  I prefer that it doesn' t exist because I' ve been living
• 4:50
  like I won' t have to pass that exam now better if I die
• 4:56
  and God is there with my videos in the prides of Madrid. No.
• 4:58
  No, no, no, no. You guys. I' ve got
• 5:00
  a good résumé to get into the sky. I don' t have to
• 5:03
  think what kind of place heaven is, it has to be crazy. That
• 5:08
  ' s because there are people there who died yesterday and Neanderthals at the same
• 5:12
  time. I don' t want to be somewhere. I don' t
• 5:15
  have to teach you how to bust Aristotle. I wouldn' t be cool
• 5:21
  about the point of being above historical figures, about being around, like da
• 5:26
  Vinci, that you would be very good at what you did. But you
• 5:30
  haven' t seen The Crown, you haven' t seen Ground Michelangelo Asshole,
• 5:35
  not my Angel gel. A lot of chapella assists, but at FIFA
• 5:39
  you don' t beat me. You' ll see. Also, if
• 5:43
  you think about it, heaven is a place full of racist and macho people
• 5:47
  and homophoba, because until recently it is gold the usual. And I don
• 5:50
  ' t think God is Woke and he' s put his batteries through the
• 5:56
  rules of heaven, because lately he' s looking at a lot of examples
• 6:00
  and it' s like jeremies. Yes, about the slaves of 200 years
• 6:03
  ago that I laughed at their time, even now they already black live mateur
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  jeremías and you go to hell. No, I' m sorry, I
• 6:15
  ' m sorry, but I am. I don' t think it was
• 6:17
  like that, I don' t think it would happen to us, but
• 6:23
  within two hundred years we would be in heaven there so calm and suddenly it
• 6:28
  would be because it goes by PA to heaven. There' s one to
• 6:30
  inform everyone. No, don' t mind the people you ate animals,
• 6:34
  you couldn' t all to hell and two like that uh, uh,
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  no, no one told us this. We didn' t suspect anything of
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  the Karnica industry at any time. Not the vegetarians until later, yeah,
• 6:47
  the discussions at Christmas you remember, uh, the vegans a couple of years
• 6:51
  and we' re alone. Don' t worry about them celebrating. It
• 6:55
  ' s okay. I don' t know it has to be full of
• 7:01
  homophobes and machistas and racists. The sky has to be full of taxi drivers.
• 7:03
  I' m convinced not taxi drivers, not taxi drivers. Please,
• 7:10
  there are taxi drivers. One out of every hundred zero that' s right
• 7:15
  - handed. He' s made a wish. It' s very complicated
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  that it happens to you and that sometimes it bothers you. It doesn'
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  t make you like that conversation where you try, because you agree with it
• 7:24
  and it' s an awkward journey. Not then have I discovered how to
• 7:28
  survive that journey that is by playing him, by playing him. Even I
• 7:30
  sometimes try to push him to the right. You know Uncle says like immigrants.
• 7:35
  I wouldn' t have killed them all, you know the guy'
• 7:40
  s driving thinking like a fucking facha, this pers gets off at once.
• 7:45
  You wanted to play this game. Let' s see who wins. Let
• 7:46
  ' s see what this game has won. Let' s see you'
• 7:53
  re gonna see Sometimes it' s a bitch because the guy follows my game
• 7:57
  and we don' t radicalize each other. I' m bringing chaos to
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  the cab union Okay. It' s not gonna have any good consequences.
• 8:01
  That' s all I want to tell you is that if you ever see
• 8:07
  me in an army parade singing my face in the sun, it' s
• 8:11
  because I' ve made a very long taxing ride. It' s just.
• 8:13
  That' s why. Just for that. But look at the facha
• 8:18
  taxi drivers who drive the best do take you to the places. You know
• 8:22
  shortcuts. I know how to separate the work from the taxi driver. When
• 8:28
  in the debate of itself you can separate the work of the artist, you
• 8:33
  believe that yes or that you do not answer to that of three all at
• 8:37
  once without reflection one at three, that is to say quite yes. Uh,
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  I' m also having doubts about the truth, but what I'
• 8:43
  m clear about is that I' m sick and tired of the debate always
• 8:46
  being with art. Why isn' t it in other professions. For example,
• 8:50
  if we now find out what Fleming masturbated by looking at pictures of children,
• 8:56
  we have to stop using penicillin. We can power, we' re
• 9:00
  going to make that effort as a society, to separate Fleming from the movie
• 9:03
  or it' s like no. No. We' re not going back
• 9:07
  two hundred years in medicine because not those kids. I don' t die
• 9:09
  of diarrhea because I don' t. We can' t make that effort
• 9:13
  or say otherwise, it hasn' t been won. Fleming, after saving
• 9:16
  millions and millions of people, screwing a child from time to time I don
• 9:20
  ' t know, it won' t make any sense. I ask Fleming,
• 9:28
  plant Plat, I did it so I haven' t earned it anymore
• 9:31
  at least one. Give me if you' re in favor of Fleming,
• 9:35
  Shouting, Fleming, if you' re in favor of the children Shouting,
• 9:39
  children on three, one, two, three, a lot of pederast has
• 9:43
  come today. No. Thank you all very much. Thank you very much,
• 9:50
  thank you very much. S s