Latest / The Curve / RTC79: Manifesting the life you've always wanted with Roxie Nafousi.

Transcript

RTC79: Manifesting the life you've always wanted with Roxie Nafousi. · The Curve

0:00
Welcome to Raising the Curve, a podcast designed to teach you everything you need to know
0:05
to be better with your money.
0:07
And the wise words of Amy Schumer were slipping carrots into the brownie recipe.
0:12
I don't really get the saying.
0:14
It's kind of like eating vegetables that actually taste good.
0:17
You know, I'm like, still not wearing it.
0:19
Are you on the script?
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It's basically like saying, investing in finance can be boring as, but it totally doesn't
0:26
need to be.
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OK, OK, so we're making it fun by putting the carrot.
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OK, the vegetables are just good for you.
0:33
It's the brownie recipe.
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OK, we got there, we got there.
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OK, OK, well, you've really got a finance mate.
0:39
Yeah, one of us has to.
0:40
This is a joke.
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OK, come and learn alongside me from Vick Harris, ex-fun manager.
0:45
Well, I'm going to ask all the questions that you wish you could.
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And I'm going to be eating all the brownie you wish you could.
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No, that's so not the joke, Vick.
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Oh, OK, just come and talk and learn and laugh with us.
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Because together, we really can raise the curve.
1:01
A proxy in a foosie is a self-development coach.
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To be honest, I don't need to introduce her because everyone knows who she is.
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And I'm pretty sure like 95% of our audience would have read her first book.
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Self-development coach, manifesting expert, author and ambassador for the Mental Health Foundation.
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She has hosted self-love and motivational workshops and events all over the world.
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She is a speaker on wellness, mental health, panels and both the UK and outside of.
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Roxy is an author of two best-selling books.
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The first one is Manifest, the orange, beautiful one that most people have in their homes.
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And the second one, Manifest Dive Deeper.
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She is about to release her third book, Manifest for Kids,
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Four Steps to Being the Best You.
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And Roxy joins us today to talk about her incredible career life,
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how she uses Manifest Station and her day-to-day life.
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Firstly, welcome.
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Hi.
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Thank you so much.
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We're so, yeah, we're so honored to have you here.
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We both are a massive fan of your work.
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And what a represents and how you've inspired just such an enormous amount of people
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on their journey to connect more with themselves and learn about how they can use
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Manifest Station as a tool to improve the life that they want to live.
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So, yeah.
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Thank you.
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It's so nice.
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You know that there's people who kind of like represent different parts of
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health and well-being.
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I think before you there was a lot of misconception.
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There probably still is a huge amount of misconception as to what
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Manifesting actually means.
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Like, is it a magic trick?
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Does it exist?
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Is it real?
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And for me, I've definitely not mastered it.
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So today, I would love to understand more about all elements of Manifest Station.
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But maybe we, I think we need to talk about how your work first entered both of our lives.
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Oh, yes.
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Firstly, that you've read both of her books.
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I have read both of your books.
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That makes you so happy.
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To be honest, I'm going to put you on this here.
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Like, I didn't really understand what Manifesting was.
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It's the opposite of Lulu.
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And Sophie is very in touch with your emotions, you know, like you are Lulu.
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I'm the one that like would go into the Barcelona.
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Right, right.
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As a yoga teacher and like all that stuff.
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Whereas Vickers, the family opposite.
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I'm also going that that's complete bullshit.
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To be honest.
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But I think reading your book was really, I just broke it down into really understandable
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steps, points.
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I don't know, I got it.
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I was like, oh, okay.
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So what I thought was Manifesting wasn't actually Manifesting.
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And it was kind of, you explained it in a really simple, easy to understand way,
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but also in a way that you can implement it.
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It's tangible.
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And not feel like greedy or undeserving or anything like that.
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It was, yeah, it was almost like we should all be able to manifest the lives of
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what we want.
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And I was just like, it was like this light bulb moment when I read it.
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It's interesting that she was the one to read it first.
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Yeah.
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Like, because if anyone was to read a book like that.
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And I was dog sitting.
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So this is just context.
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So I was dog hunting.
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And I came across this book on her nightstand.
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And I was like, this is the fix reading a book on Manifesting.
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Like, my god, daddy's secret.
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Yeah, this is so off-brand.
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It was like amazing.
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And then I started reading it.
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And I was like, oh god, anyway, if it comes back.
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She was like, did you read my manifest book?
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And I was like, yeah, she was like, it's got really personal goals in it.
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Because I hadn't got to that point where it was like, you know, what's one thing you
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want?
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I didn't realize you wrote in the book.
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So I was like, I'm so sorry.
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It was really kind of, yeah, I was like, oh my gosh.
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Like, yeah, I was so worried you were going to judge me.
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No, it's like someone opening your journal.
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You know, because it is kind of like a journal where you write that.
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Yeah.
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So anyway, we're both in different experiences with your book.
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I wonder if I love that so much.
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And you know, I do always say that my book is, it's like great for cynics.
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It's great for people that are really anti manifesting.
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So like, even for everyone who wants listening, you know, you guys have a podcast
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which is so based on like business and finance.
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Actually, I'm sure a lot of people that do listen are like, why are they bringing
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someone on to about manifesting?
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Like that's, they might think that's off-brand.
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Yeah.
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But actually, I think what this book is is it's so, it's so practical.
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And it really is like, it's also a seven set business plan.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like, it's also how you could run a business.
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You could apply it so much of that.
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Yeah.
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And I think actually knowing your worth in general and the idea that in order to
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manifest the kind of life that you want, whether that be business, career, financial,
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if you don't even understand or know who you're doing it, you're unfortunately
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probably manifesting almost maybe the opposite of what you want.
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And like, I think for me, that's been something that I like, I, you know,
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Esther and Jeremy Hicks.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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So like, I've listened to that whole audiobook a couple of years ago and I was like,
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oh, God, I'm putting everything that I don't want out into the universe.
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Like, I'm doing exactly what they tell you not to do.
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So maybe what would be a really helpful thing for those who are not aware of what it really
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means or how to do it properly?
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I'd love to start from the beginning if that's okay.
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Oh, of course.
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So I, um, growing up, I'll just, I'll start there.
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I really didn't learn how to be happy.
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I had no self worth from my kind of earliest memories.
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I disliked myself.
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And that really kind of compounded throughout my life.
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And then when I was 18, I left school.
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I found drugs and specifically cocaine and it gave me this full sense of confidence
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and it was this escape.
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And very quickly, I fell into addiction.
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And by the time I was 21, I was going to NA narcotics anonymous.
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But then it wasn't until I was 28 that I gave up.
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So for those seven years, I'm in bad of addiction.
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I know I have a problem which takes all the fun because this immense shame and guilt and self-hatred
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every time you're going out and partying and staying up all night and, you know, going on day
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benders.
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And within that time, I was also extremely unhappy when I was suffering from depression.
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But actually didn't know it at the time.
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People weren't really talking about mental health.
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Looking back, I realized I had depression my whole life.
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But I just thought I was, that was just who I was.
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And I had no job, no career, no motivation.
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I was quite, I was what my family, my family sort of saw me as like the lazy one in the family,
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you know, which is so funny.
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It's funny to look at that.
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So sad.
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Why am I sad?
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But yeah, I was, I was the lazy one.
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You know, I come from my parents are Iraqi immigrants.
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My dad's obviously, you know, came from absolutely nothing.
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My brothers and sisters are NHS doctors.
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Another system, my crew said that, you know, I'm very, very much the odd one out
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of just this drug addict partying and doing nothing with her life.
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So my dad's so fickle that he really didn't like me growing up.
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And now I'm absolutely the favorite child.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like, no, I'm successful.
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Well, now we're going to turn things around.
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He'll admit it.
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But I hit kind of many rock bottoms along the way.
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And one of them was kind of it was in the last one that really propelled
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this change was in May 2018.
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So I had gone to a yoga teacher training course in the April before.
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And I'd gone because yoga had been one safe space for me throughout.
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I'd started yoga because I had really bad back problems and I was 21.
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And it was the safe space.
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And, you know, I wanted to give up drugs many times on that 10 year journey.
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And I thought, I could you know what?
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In one of my times where I was like, this is going to be the time.
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I'm going to quit.
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I booked this yoga teacher training course.
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I didn't think about it.
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I was just going to book it.
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I'll go and have 200 hours of yoga and meditation.
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And obviously I will change my life.
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And I'll come back a new person.
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So I went and did did it.
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You know, it was really, really hard.
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Mentally, it was very challenging.
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Physically too.
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Physically too.
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I think you kind of go thinking, I do yoga a couple of times.
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I'll be fine.
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And then you do it twice a day for like two hours.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It's a dinner.
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So yeah.
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So I came back from there.
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And I remember that day a friend called me and was like,
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oh, do you want to come to this art gallery opening tonight?
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There's a dinner.
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And I was like, yeah, great.
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You know, I was quick-tanned from Kyland.
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I was feeling like I was going to show it off.
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Like, I'm feeling like ribbed.
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So I go.
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I love it.
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Post-holiday?
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Yeah, you're currently in that moment, actually.
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I remember I had to break up.
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Poryton.
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No, I had that when I went back to New Zealand.
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It was like the depths of winter.
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But I'd just come back from Europe.
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And I was like, I will have my legs and arms out.
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And I was like, I did that this time last year too.
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And I was the same kind of post-break-arm.
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I looked around.
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And I get it.
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We can all go, there we go.
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So you can see why he said yes.
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So I go and she says, oh, me and my hotel at four o'clock.
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And I was like, cool.
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So I go meet her at her hotel.
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And she pulls out a bag of Coke.
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And says, do you want to lie?
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And I was like, oh, yeah, fuck it.
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Did she not know you'd just done it?
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I don't think she knew I'd just come out from you.
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But I don't think she had.
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I mean, people just don't.
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Because this is the thing I can that's quite hard,
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just in general.
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There's like that coming to the point of saying,
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I don't do something.
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Rather than I'm just not doing it at the moment.
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Because people find it such a immediate reflection
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of what they're doing.
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It's like they're judging themselves.
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So they're like, oh, exactly.
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It's this really hard thing.
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Like, I don't know why saying I'm not drinking tonight.
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Or, no, I don't want that.
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Yeah, yeah.
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But it's so difficult.
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Yeah.
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Although to be fair, it was all me.
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I was like, no, it's all my job.
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I was like, yes, please, thank you so much.
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Yeah.
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So I ended up going out that night.
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I ended up staying out all night.
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But then what happened was that I carried on on my own
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for the whole next day, went out again, went home with someone.
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And then after this two-day bender, I was at rock bottom.
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And I was like, oh, my fucking god.
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Like, I'm never going to change.
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Like, this is who I am.
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And I was so full of shame and disgust.
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Like, real disgust.
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And I even now, when I think about it, like, in detail,
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yeah, I shudder.
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It's like that feeling.
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And you're like, oh.
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And you're like stomach, I feel sick.
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Yeah, I'm like, yeah.
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You know, I still can't watch, like, you know,
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if you watch films and TV shows,
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like you've been taken to theatre.
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Yeah.
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Oh, my god.
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There was programs like that, give me the Ick.
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And I get proper anxiety because it reminds me
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of all those nights of just like staring at the walls
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and you're taken to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, anyway.
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So I'm at rock bottom.
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And I'm like, great, like, I'm like, nothing's going to happen.
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I'm like, great, nothing's going to happen.
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Like, nothing is going to happen.
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I'm like, no, bottom is here.
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I think she under the rock right now.
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So I thought, nothing is going to change me.
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It's like, call my friend Sophia, who is my woo friend.
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And I said, you know, what shall I do?
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She said, oh, babe, I just listened to this podcast.
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Or manifest, and you should listen.
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I thought, fuck it, I'll try anything.
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Yeah.
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So I listened to this podcast or manifesting
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and something in it just clicked.
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And what clicked was that manifesting
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was all about self-worth.
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And I was like, oh, I have none of that.
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So I am manifesting, but in the wrong direction.
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So I went home and I started researching everything
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I could about manifestation.
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And two weeks later on the 7th of June, 2018,
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I got a message from a guy named Wade on a dating app.
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We had absolutely no friends in common.
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He was from Australia.
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He was only coming to London for five days.
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One day, yeah, was that.
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Raya, oh, yeah, nice.
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And a year later, to the day, on the 7th of June, 2019,
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our baby boy wolf was born.
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So this was about five years ago when I first
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had about manifesting.
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And then what happened, not long story,
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but basically the pregnancy was awful
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because I suddenly had to give up all my addictions.
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And all 28 years of pain came rushing out.
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I also was having a baby with someone I didn't know
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who had actually no money.
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I had no money.
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I was like, well, the fuck am I going to do?
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It was at the darkest time of my life.
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But I immersed myself in self-development as a whole.
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So I was reading, because I didn't need to stop
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moving the house like I was in such a bad place.
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When I was reading loads of books,
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I was watching as much as I could researching.
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And really had this determination that when I had this baby,
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I was going to make my life the best it could be.
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And it's almost like that, as well,
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was part of you getting better as well, you know?
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I like to make that nine months of not being able to do.
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Oh, my God, of course.
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Yes, yes, kind of.
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So it sounds like wolf's been the gift that you need as.
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Is my lucky charm and my real aim.
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Everything good in my life happened after he was born.
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Yeah.
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My parents say that about me.
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I don't get my parents.
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And I'm like, I'm going to get it for sure.
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They're like, you're way more annoying.
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And then that was it.
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And then when wolf was born, I did just that.
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I had all that pain as fuel to change my life
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and build a career and be able to support my family.
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And it was a real, you know, driving force
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and learn the rest of history.
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How did you not, I guess, spiral back into that?
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Like what tips and tricks did you have in yourself
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when you were like, oh gosh, me and my partner have no money.
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We're about to have a child.
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We hardly know each other.
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You know, like, and I, you know, you don't really have a plan
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and that seems, sorry, if I'm putting words in it,
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but in terms of how did you not
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then spiral back into that?
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What would you call it, unself worth?
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Yeah, well, after wolf was born before when you were
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a surgery found out when you found out you're pregnant
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and you know, I didn't have a choice.
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I don't know why you can't take drugs.
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No, I spiraled.
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I was the most nervous.
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No, that pregnancy was dark.
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It was the worst time of my life ever.
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I can't describe the self-loathing or the pain.
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I was comfort eating, binge eating.
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I gave like 30 kilos, which is like five stone.
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It was not good, but I had this one saving grace.
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So a week before I found out I was pregnant
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and I'm sure this was a gift from the universe.
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I decided to do start something on my Instagram story
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called Agniante Sundays, where I would just put in a question box.
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I just wanted to give you an advice.
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Because I knew I always felt like I was good at advice
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and I felt like I had some wisdom within me, you know, not some.
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I felt like I've been through a lot as well.
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I often think the people I find the most inspiring are those.
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And to be honest, when you've had a spiritual awakening
15:20
of some sort is when you had genuinely felt rock bottom.
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I don't think it doesn't surprise me that you feel called to share wisdom
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and be a leader in a space of change and help people out of that.
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It's very relatable when you have hit rock bottom.
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It's a lot more real.
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If someone's being like, oh, you can achieve everything you want
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and they've had a really cushy life.
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They've been given a lot or just haven't really had a lot of struggles.
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It's not that relatable.
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I agree. I find that as well.
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So I started this little advice thing with no real intention at the time,
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other than I just enjoyed it.
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But then when I was pregnant and I was mentally struggling,
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this one Agniant Sunday column at the end of the week
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became my purpose.
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And so helping others became my thing.
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And then I decided from there.
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And more and more people would ask me questions each week.
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And it was growing.
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And even though I was completely like hidden essentially from the world
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because I was feeling so awful, I was connecting with people and helping them.
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And then I knew that being of service to others was what I wanted to do as a career.
16:30
And then when I watched people like Brenny Brown and Tony Robbins,
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I felt so inspired that I knew I wanted to toast on stage workshops.
16:38
And that's where the career kind of actually began.
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In terms of when you...
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Because the thing that I find the most difficult is the...
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And I know that you have a whole chapter of this in your first book manifest.
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But the idea of building on yourself worth and that being a lifelong journey.
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And I understand that that's something that you can't just go through a yoga teacher training.
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And it's done or going hide yourself in a cave and meditate for two years.
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And you're all of a sudden healed.
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Like it's a real constant thing.
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If this is something you struggle with, you will be working on that constantly.
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So I think you talk about that pregnancy being a really dark time.
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And at that point, your self-worth is something you obviously actively really had to then work on to improve.
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And I know that you go on to this in the books.
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But how do you get yourself to a place where like, can you not manifest?
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If your self-worth is low, do you have to work on that first?
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And then, you know, I'm just...
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You need to be at this level of self-worth before you can actually manifest.
17:40
Yeah.
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So I think there's like tons of little tiny ways that we can retrain our thinking,
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we train like change our belief systems.
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And so I started doing really simple practices from the beginning.
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So for example, listening to affirmation playlist.
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So our subconscious can't differentiate for a truth from a lie.
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So whatever you tell it, it believes to be true.
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So why we're in this constant shame spiral?
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Because when you talk to yourself badly, you believe it.
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Yeah.
18:12
So if you're constantly saying to yourself, I'm no good, it's never going to happen for me.
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I have the worst luck, good things aren't meant for me.
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You attract it.
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Why you believe it?
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And we attract what we believe.
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Because if you think about it, our belief system becomes the lens through which we view the whole world.
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So all our perceptions of every experience that we have,
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the meanings we attached to all our experiences and our interactions,
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are viewed through the lens of what we believe.
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So if we believe that we're not enough, imagine then how different you're going to perceive
18:43
the way people speak to you as opposed to someone who believes that they are likable and lovable.
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They're going to view everything so differently.
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And so we create a life that is that mirrors what we believe about ourselves.
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But we can change our belief systems because we have this thing,
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which is our brain's ability to form new neural pathways through repeated thought and actions.
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And so we can start using really simple little tools like repeating affirmations,
19:11
using different meditations, visualization meditations,
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or a really easy one, the one I started with is falling asleep to affirmation playlists.
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So an affirmation playlist is just like a meditative track that has over it,
19:26
and affirmations being said, it's the easiest fucking tool to use,
19:29
because you don't have to do anything.
19:30
You literally just have to lie there and it's fine if you fall asleep.
19:33
I can totally understand.
19:34
So this was the thing that I started.
19:38
It was the first tool that I started to use and I still use it now.
19:43
You know, I use YouTube.
19:44
I just type in like self-love affirmations and find a voice that you like,
19:47
because obviously you'll resonate with some voices and find others annoying,
19:51
just like podcasts.
19:52
Yeah, basically.
19:54
Yeah, things like that can really simple tools and changing the way that you speak to yourself
19:59
about yourself every day is like a conscious decision,
20:02
but basically it's more the more you practice it that easier it becomes.
20:05
But that's why I think for people who are in a really low place
20:08
and can't even get to that point where they can change the way they're speaking,
20:12
something like listening to affirmation playlists are so easy
20:15
because the subconscious is doing the work for you because it's listening to it and is believing it.
20:20
Because I'm just thinking in terms of self-worth,
20:23
like if we're talking in the realm of career, money,
20:28
I remember when I was in Sydney and I was working for Sony Music
20:32
and I was earning, I think it was like 140,000 Aussie,
20:38
which for me at the time was huge.
20:40
And I remember thinking, I'll probably never earn this amount of money again,
20:44
which is so sad and it's that same self-conscious tool.
20:48
So I think it's really translatable in terms of whether it's asking for a pay rise
20:54
or knowing that you're capable of earning more money
20:57
or knowing that you're capable of creating the life that you want financially
21:02
based on if you have access to that education and how
21:06
and just knowing that you're worth there
21:09
and you're able to change whatever your current situation is.
21:12
I think there's so many, I have actually career affirmations on my website,
21:16
but even now if some, there are some really great ones for things like that.
21:19
It's like, I am worthy of abundance.
21:21
I deserve to be paid for my work.
21:24
I am talented. I am good enough.
21:26
I can progress in my career easily.
21:29
You know, affirmations like that are so powerful.
21:31
And I think, you know, you make a really good point.
21:33
I think there are a lot of people who I come across who are exactly,
21:38
as you say, they don't want to ask for pay rises.
21:40
They're too scared to speak up in team meetings.
21:44
I think specifically women definitely feel like that.
21:48
It's like, oh, I'm not worthy of that pay raise
21:50
or I'm not worthy of that role, that job.
21:52
You know, I don't have all the criteria.
21:54
Well, there's a statistic where like if a man is going to apply for a job
21:58
if they can do 30% of the times or whatever,
22:02
they apply whereas if a woman can't do 30%,
22:05
but can do 70%, she won't.
22:07
Yeah.
22:08
And so I think there is this inherent, I'm not worthy.
22:12
I can't add value there or I'm.
22:15
Yeah.
22:16
And so for that, I think what can be a really nice tool
22:18
and it's one that I speak gotten one of the chapters and manifests
22:22
is this idea of kind of like showing up as your future self
22:25
and this can be a really nice one for us.
22:27
So I call it fake it until you become it.
22:29
But the idea is that for all of us,
22:31
I think we have a version of ourselves that exists in our mind,
22:35
a higher self, essentially.
22:37
And this future asks this higher self.
22:40
If you can close your eyes and imagine them now,
22:42
this version of you has more confidence, has more self-worth,
22:46
is able to ask for pay rises,
22:48
is able to stand up for themselves,
22:50
is able to speak up, is able to walk into a room
22:54
and be unapologetically themselves.
22:56
But that version of you does exist.
22:58
It's just waiting for you to bring them to life.
23:00
And so really what you know, manifesting us of you
23:03
and it's such that this practice is so grounded in self-worth
23:08
and empowerment and self-believe.
23:10
It's asking you to act as if your future self-worth.
23:13
And that will require you to step outside your comfort zone
23:16
and it will require you to sit in that place of discomfort
23:18
the first time you do it.
23:20
But the more that you do, actually the more confident you'll feel.
23:23
And so I think it's such a nice one at work
23:28
because I still use it, for example,
23:30
if I'm going into a situation where I feel nervous,
23:32
so someone could use this going into a meeting
23:34
or going on a day or going on whatever.
23:36
But if I feel nervous about something,
23:38
I think about my future self or my higher self.
23:40
Okay, how do they walk into that room?
23:42
How do they interact with people?
23:44
How do they leave the room and feel?
23:46
And I visualise that.
23:48
And then I step into that character of myself.
23:50
I love that.
23:52
It's kind of that saying, was it juice for the job?
23:54
You want not the job you have.
23:56
And it's kind of like, yeah, it's like, you know,
23:58
pretend you've already got it kind of thing.
24:00
Yes, yeah.
24:02
But I think there's also a thin line around people,
24:05
not wanting to seem greedy or, I guess,
24:09
maybe not arrogance, not the right word.
24:11
But you know, wanting all these things can feel greedy or you,
24:17
you know, I don't know what they want.
24:19
Yeah, because I don't want to be judged
24:21
or like, even when you were reading my book,
24:23
I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want you to read it
24:25
because I don't want you to, I don't want to be judged.
24:27
I don't want you to think that I'm greedy for wanting all these things.
24:29
And so I guess it's also, yeah, I guess that the whole
24:33
manifesting, it's not greedy.
24:35
It's not that you should want.
24:37
You should be allowed to want what you want.
24:39
Absolutely.
24:41
Yeah, I mean, I truly believe everybody
24:43
deserves to live the life that makes them actually happy.
24:47
Because we do only get one shot at it.
24:49
So, you know, you've got to make it the best that it can be.
24:53
And, you know, I think also realizing that only you can do that.
24:57
But I always say, like, when I talk about step one,
24:59
which is be clear in your vision, I do say,
25:01
you need both vulnerability and courage.
25:03
Because you do have to be quite vulnerable
25:05
when you're being honest about your dreams.
25:07
Because as you say, you know, people don't always want to admit
25:10
what they really want.
25:11
Because it seems so out of reach or it seems so improbable.
25:14
They're so scared of what other people will think.
25:16
And so it really requires you to be able to get rid of the noise
25:19
of other people's expectations or judgments
25:22
or, you know, what they might want for you
25:25
and get rid of that noise.
25:27
And then really check in with your most authentic self
25:30
and ask, what do I actually want from this life?
25:33
Like, where do I really want to be in a year or five years from now?
25:36
And it all begins there.
25:37
And then you need the courage to allow yourself to dream about it
25:40
and to think about it and to put it on your vision board.
25:43
Because I always say, isn't it funny that your fears and doubts
25:46
or insecurities are so powerful that they stop you even thinking
25:50
about what you want?
25:51
So you'll have a dream and then your fears and doubts will come in
25:54
and go, oh, no, no, no.
25:55
That's never going to, that's not realistic.
25:57
You know, and manifesting ask you to let go of that.
26:00
And I think what I found in the book that was really useful
26:03
is like, why do you want those things?
26:05
Well, yeah, it's all well and good being high.
26:08
I want a super yacht or I want a house in every city in the world.
26:11
But it's like, why do you want those?
26:14
What's the feeling?
26:15
And I think that for me was the feeling that that would bring
26:18
kind of why I want that.
26:20
You know, it's not like you can want material things,
26:23
you know, and you can want an abundance of money or success.
26:26
But why do you want those things?
26:28
Yeah.
26:29
We'll make them happen, I guess,
26:31
or make them easier to manifest.
26:33
And then what's a good way to go about that in terms of,
26:36
if we start with feeling, is it imagining or writing down
26:40
a big list of the things that you think you want,
26:43
whether it is, every house, every city in the world?
26:46
And then it is like what's the tactic you meant to sort of
26:49
think about how that would make you feel?
26:52
I think you hear about it two ways.
26:53
I mean, first you can think about what you want.
26:56
And for some people, they know what they want.
26:58
But then when you think about what you want,
27:00
you just have to really be honest yourself about exactly.
27:03
You say, why do I want that?
27:04
What is that actually going to do for me on a deeper level?
27:07
Will that bring me fulfillment, joy, contentment, success,
27:12
happiness, peace?
27:14
You know, those are the things they're really looking for.
27:16
Or as if you're wanting a yacht, let's say,
27:20
or whatever, or a hamburger, or something material.
27:24
Okay, do you really want that because you think that thing,
27:28
that material possession is going to bring you in a piece
27:31
and fulfillment and content, you know, feeling of being content?
27:35
No, it's going to bring you what you think is satis
27:38
or validation from others.
27:40
And that's not the right intention.
27:42
An intention is everything.
27:44
And so you do have to be honest with yourself about what you want
27:46
and why you want to.
27:47
And are those intentions good?
27:49
And are they for a greater good?
27:51
And you're great to good?
27:52
And something that's going to give you lasting joy,
27:54
not a quick high, you know, for the second you get it.
27:58
So instead of like, for some examples,
28:00
instead of saying, I want lots of money,
28:02
it's like, I want the freedom to live my life.
28:05
I love that.
28:06
Yes, financial freedom, financial freedom.
28:08
Yeah, because I'm thinking about myself right now.
28:10
I mean, we moved to London.
28:12
We just sit off the podcast like three months ago.
28:14
And because obviously we're a startup business.
28:16
We're paying ourselves like, you know,
28:18
the equivalent of like less than 50,000 pounds a year each.
28:22
Which isn't like super low.
28:24
But it's also not a lot really to live a kind of lifestyle
28:27
that we want to be living.
28:29
And I found myself feeling increasingly lately
28:34
really uncomfortably stressed about money.
28:37
And if I was to go and write down what I want
28:40
to manifest right now with like relation to my personal life,
28:45
my career, but also financially,
28:47
I want to feel like I have the choice.
28:51
And the freedom to make choice around going on holiday
28:54
and not feeling uncomfortable about going up for dinner
28:57
because I kind of thought it or, you know,
28:59
we're going into winter and I don't want to close.
29:01
I want to be able to buy things that I want to wear
29:03
if you're good at.
29:04
But it's really, I think for me, it's hard.
29:07
Like I want to manifest financial security.
29:10
I want to.
29:11
Absolutely.
29:12
But at the same time, I also love fashion and clothes
29:16
and lifestyle and going on holidays.
29:18
But that's okay.
29:19
But you can love it.
29:20
Oh, my God.
29:21
You can.
29:22
And absolutely.
29:23
Like, if I were you're definitely putting on your vision board,
29:26
I want to earn this amount by this time.
29:29
And this is why because I don't want this stress
29:32
because I want to be able to do the things that I enjoy
29:35
without worry.
29:36
Absolutely.
29:37
And so do you think if I was to think like my three-year
29:41
goals, that's what I would love.
29:42
I would love to feel more comfortable doing.
29:44
Have it live in your life.
29:45
I want that in five, ten years time.
29:47
I'd love to be redistributing financial aid and education
29:52
around the world to people who don't have it.
29:55
Do you think then that you focus on the feelings of those things
29:59
with everything that you want?
30:01
It's always coming back to that feeling.
30:03
Yeah, I think.
30:04
I think that feeling of being in abundance,
30:07
that feeling of being free from stress and worry around it.
30:11
Yeah.
30:12
And that's something when you're going to sink into like a visualization
30:14
meditation, you can really sink into that feeling.
30:17
But then with this kind of like stress around money.
30:19
And like money is also energy.
30:21
And I don't talk lots about money and manifesting.
30:24
Just, you know, it's hard to do.
30:27
And there's lots of fears around it.
30:28
And I get that.
30:29
But, you know, I do believe that when we are in this like scarcity
30:34
and mindset and being, you know, we have that worry,
30:37
which is very a real worry for a lot of people.
30:39
It does keep us stuck.
30:40
And I've been in that position before,
30:42
where I've gone through a period of time
30:44
where I can feel like I'm really freaking out
30:46
about every bill that comes through the door.
30:48
I'm feeling so stressed.
30:49
And I definitely noticed that I feel stuck in those times.
30:53
Whereas when I'm able to create a more abundant mindset around,
30:58
you know, let's say when I pay a bill instead of being like,
31:01
oh, my God, I'm so annoyed about this bill.
31:03
I say, I'm so glad I have the means to pay this bill, you know,
31:07
because I'm finding a way.
31:09
And it's just a really nice and like switch.
31:11
And even for you now, I think it's,
31:14
it's a really good opportunity for you to go,
31:16
hey, look, if I wanted to be in a job,
31:18
I didn't enjoy and earn more.
31:19
I could.
31:20
This is a choice.
31:21
So it's not, you don't feel like it's being done to you.
31:23
So it's like I'm choosing to be on this salary for now
31:28
because it's for the greater good and knowing that it's,
31:32
it's something that you're choosing rather than because it,
31:35
when you don't feel like it's your choice,
31:37
you don't feel powerless to it.
31:38
Like it's very important for your circumstance
31:41
rather than something that you have the control to change.
31:43
And obviously I know that, you know,
31:45
I do understand that for a lot of people,
31:47
they don't have a choice and it is much more difficult
31:50
and I don't want to undermine that in any way.
31:52
I'm like, so if I hope you enjoy,
31:56
enjoy your work and you enjoy being here.
31:58
No, I definitely do.
31:59
I love my work.
32:00
No, I definitely do.
32:01
I think that it's just,
32:03
it's a really powerful tool and mindset to get yourself into
32:08
when you know you have the ability to change your circumstance.
32:11
And I think that money's a massive restrictor for a lot of people
32:15
in terms of feeling like they can change or do things differently.
32:18
So I think understanding just the idea of how to manifest
32:22
the life that you want and how that stems into all elements
32:25
of your life is hugely powerful.
32:28
Because we are a lot of people who I think feel similar to me
32:31
where they're like the cost of living so massive right now.
32:34
And it's just like I think taking the control back into your own hands
32:38
and knowing how you can start to change that energy
32:42
from being poor me, I'm stuck or I don't have enough or whatever.
32:46
It's a really interesting one because that flow of in and out
32:50
when you hold onto something so tightly wanting to control it.
32:53
It's like with anything in the manifesting process
32:56
when we have hold onto something and we have that desperate energy,
33:00
we block it from coming to us.
33:03
And it is about being in this free flowing state
33:06
where things can come to you and go out.
33:08
And I definitely, I use this a lot myself.
33:11
I use this abundant mindset a lot.
33:13
Even when I'm paying for, let's say I go out for a nice meal
33:17
and the bill's quite expensive.
33:18
And I'm like, the food wasn't that good.
33:21
But then I'm like, no, I've got to remember what I'm paying for.
33:24
Look at, I look at the business I'm in, the restaurant I'm in.
33:27
I go, my God, they have so many outgoing.
33:31
They've got this rent, they have so many staff to pay,
33:33
they have produce, they probably waste so much.
33:35
Gosh, actually I'm really glad that I can give back to them
33:38
in this moment.
33:39
And actually I see it as like everything I spend
33:42
is like a beautiful exchange.
33:45
And so I don't, and it really helped me
33:47
because I would, I would leave restaurants or, you know,
33:49
or you get something like, oh, that's so overpriced.
33:51
I've fucked it up straight.
33:53
It's everything.
33:54
Everything stays.
33:55
You're like, oh, the bottom water is so overpriced.
33:57
But then I'm like, okay, but they're also struggling
34:00
with cost of living.
34:01
And actually it's kind of, but then that little mindset shift
34:04
just made me feel less stressed about everything.
34:08
Even if you're going to a hotel or going into a shop
34:12
or whatever, you know, some news agents,
34:14
like two paths for a bottle of water.
34:16
So you know, it's like 50b.
34:18
But then if you're just changing that little mindset,
34:21
I'm like, okay, everybody is just trying to survive right now
34:24
and thrive, hopefully.
34:26
But, you know, I don't know.
34:27
It's almost like you put the money out there
34:29
knowing that it's going to come back to you.
34:31
That people are going to support you by your book.
34:34
Or, you know, and I mean, I think it's an interesting point
34:37
when you spend something and it makes you feel funny
34:40
because this is something that VIX taught me a lot
34:43
to think about how you feel when you're spending money.
34:46
And it's been a massive shift for me
34:48
because going out for dinner is a good one.
34:50
It doesn't.
34:51
For some reason, I always feel like, gosh,
34:53
that was a lot of money for a few nibbles of like a whatever.
34:57
We talk about having like a money diary,
34:59
which you write down what you spend for the day for the week
35:02
for the month and how it makes you feel.
35:04
And then because a lot of people were like,
35:07
oh, what can I cut back on?
35:08
But I still want to live my life.
35:10
And so it's figuring out what brings you joy.
35:13
Okay, keep spending on that.
35:14
Don't if things, you know,
35:16
if you're going out for dinner for the third time that week,
35:19
it's not bringing you joy.
35:20
It's like, okay, don't do that because it's just going to frustrate you
35:22
and you can get angry.
35:23
So, yeah, it's like figuring out what you can cut back on,
35:25
but from a place that you can still have joy in your life.
35:29
And yeah, I love that.
35:31
I love that.
35:32
But that also give puts you back in control.
35:34
Exactly.
35:35
It puts you back in an empowered position.
35:36
That's so true.
35:37
Which is what we want to be in.
35:38
It's like, okay, yeah, this is how much I have.
35:40
And I'm going to choose to spend it on these things that I love.
35:43
And then I'm just going to make the sacrifice here,
35:45
because that's okay.
35:46
Yeah.
35:47
And everyone has different things that they enjoy spending money on.
35:49
For someone that might be going off dinner,
35:51
for someone that might be going to the gym,
35:52
for you know, all those different expenses are so different
35:56
for every individual.
35:57
Absolutely.
35:58
Yeah.
35:59
You've now got two books out and there's one more coming out.
36:02
I think today, actually, by the time this podcast,
36:05
or this week, this podcast comes out.
36:08
How does it change in terms of the way that you manifest
36:11
with yourself to then how you talk about that with children?
36:16
The way that we've talked about money,
36:18
because there's a lot of mothers listening,
36:20
passing that on, or the information that we're trying to teach woman
36:24
about how to be better with their money and career and businesses,
36:28
is very different to the way you would then relay that information
36:32
on to children.
36:33
When we always get asked, you know,
36:35
how can I get my kids interested in investing or, you know,
36:38
interested in money and growing their money?
36:40
And it's like, you know, the best thing you can do is understand it yourself,
36:42
because they're going to replicate what you do.
36:44
And I think that's kind of similar.
36:45
I mean, obviously I haven't read the book yet,
36:47
but I would assume if you're manifesting and you've got the self worth,
36:50
your kids are going to naturally see your abundance
36:53
and you're putting out into the world.
36:55
Absolutely.
36:56
Well, it's, so manifest for kids for such being the best you,
36:59
like you said, we'll be out hopefully this week or whenever.
37:02
And in the back of it, I've actually got a note for grownups.
37:05
And a lot of what I talk about there is just like, yes,
37:08
lead by example.
37:09
Absolutely.
37:10
So, you know, if I think one of the best things that we can do for our children
37:14
is actually to invest in ourselves.
37:16
Yeah.
37:17
Because...
37:18
Preach into the culture.
37:19
Yeah.
37:20
I'll pay you later.
37:21
Right.
37:22
Absolutely.
37:23
Because, you know, also, if we are happier, more confident,
37:29
we also have so much more patience for our children with better parents
37:33
because we have more like bandwidths.
37:36
I know when you're stressed, you're feeling shit about yourself,
37:40
you're in a bad mood, everything feels overwhelming,
37:43
your child can do one thing and then you just snap at them.
37:46
It's not fair on them.
37:48
And so I think it's really important that we invest in ourselves,
37:52
not only just for that, but also because they are always watching us
37:55
the way that you're speaking about yourself.
37:57
You're doing what you do.
37:58
But manifest for kids is...
38:00
I've split it into four steps.
38:01
It's slightly different to the adults.
38:03
The adults have got seven steps and manifest for kids.
38:06
By the way, for any parents that are listening,
38:08
I always thought that parents might be worried that they're going to give their kids
38:11
these unrealistic expectations of life.
38:13
They teach them to manifest.
38:14
But that's not...
38:15
I'm not teaching kids that they can just like dream about unicorns
38:18
and you know, they don't appear like...
38:19
You can be angry.
38:20
You can be angry.
38:21
But what is the reason?
38:22
Yeah.
38:23
Yeah.
38:24
Manifest for kids is just four steps.
38:26
Step one is understanding emotions.
38:28
So I really teach kids within this step how to process and deal with and cope with
38:34
and let go of those trickier emotions,
38:37
such as worry, embarrassment, guilt, sadness, anger and fear.
38:42
And I give them little toolboxes.
38:43
So I introduce them to things like affirmations,
38:47
meditate, breathwork, breathing exercises, worry diaries.
38:52
It's honestly so beautiful.
38:54
Even adults could also get a lot out these toolboxes.
38:56
I don't want to read it.
38:57
It makes you feel emotional and wish so much that I'd grown up with those tools.
39:02
I think there would be a completely different human.
39:04
One hundred percent.
39:05
That's why I wrote it.
39:06
The second step is all about self belief and confidence.
39:08
And it's really just giving kids little exercises and tools
39:11
so that they can understand how firstly to grow their feelings of self worth
39:16
and see how...
39:17
Well, all the little things they do day to day and recognize
39:19
and how they can...
39:20
That can help them to feel proud of themselves
39:22
and also for them to appreciate their uniqueness,
39:24
how special they are, stop comparison, things like that.
39:27
Step three is gratitude.
39:30
I think if all of us did one thing to improve our lives,
39:35
it would have a...
39:36
We have a gratitude practice.
39:37
I started to do that.
39:38
Life changing.
39:39
We did.
39:40
What do you do?
39:41
I write down on my notes.
39:42
It's three things.
39:43
Solid and praise.
39:44
I know it.
39:45
My mum, because one was about her.
39:47
She was packing my bag to bring us to a case over here.
39:49
And I said to her and I said,
39:50
Mum, you may make gratitude.
39:51
It's 20 days.
39:52
I was like, where am I?
39:53
I've been looking after your daughter.
39:54
That's for a month.
39:55
I was like, oh, gosh, yeah.
39:56
Now I've got this family job.
39:57
Oh, I see.
39:58
Yeah.
39:59
No, but it is good.
40:00
Because it does make you stop and think, what am I thankful for?
40:02
Well, it's similar to all sorts of manifesting, right?
40:04
The more that you look for good in your life.
40:06
Yeah.
40:07
And you're aware of it.
40:08
The more you notice it and see it.
40:10
And it starts to get...
40:11
The retrains are brains and where our attention actually goes.
40:15
So we view the world differently when we have a gratitude practice.
40:18
I do it with my team at the end of every day.
40:21
Either we do it on the phone and for not each person sends an email.
40:25
Positive things of the day.
40:27
Or you'd less every good thing that happened.
40:29
And everybody does it.
40:30
And it's so good.
40:32
We have that.
40:33
We kind of want to wait.
40:34
We have fuck you and fuck you.
40:35
Yeah.
40:36
Well, just because it's like, if you're like best friends with someone
40:39
and you work with them and you have a podcast.
40:41
And then you don't on top of that.
40:43
They're like, hey, you ate my chocolate bar and it annoyed me.
40:45
I'm going to love that.
40:46
You just let it out.
40:48
Sometimes you forget to celebrate the good things as well.
40:50
Because you're so bogged down with just like getting stuff done.
40:52
And you're like, no, we actually had an epic win this way.
40:54
We need to celebrate that.
40:56
I love that.
40:57
But it was funny the other week.
40:58
I remember I was really stressed.
40:59
My parents were over and they were stressed out that I...
41:03
But they were angry that I hadn't caught up with them.
41:05
And then there was something about work that you were angry at me about.
41:08
And I was sitting there.
41:10
I was like, my life is just a mess at the moment.
41:12
And I was like, no, no, Vic.
41:14
Sophie's angry at you because you have an epic business
41:16
that's growing and doing really well.
41:18
Your parents are angry at you because they just love you
41:20
and want to hang out with you.
41:21
You know what?
41:22
It was just like bringing this to a shitty situation.
41:24
And I was like, you know what?
41:25
I'm actually really like it.
41:26
You're put to the real estate here, by the way.
41:28
I love it.
41:29
It makes me so happy.
41:30
But it's so true.
41:31
We're framing your perspective as everything.
41:35
So gratitude is for kids.
41:37
I mean, honestly, the earlier we can practice this, the better.
41:40
I've been doing it with Wolf since he could communicate.
41:42
And he is so positive.
41:44
He's our effecture of himself and he went, that's beautiful.
41:48
Oh, you're like, my work here is done here.
41:52
I also wish I would say that.
41:54
It was so cute.
41:56
We do that right just every night before bed.
41:59
And then the fourth one is goal setting.
42:01
That is a bit more of, I would say, the traditional manifesting.
42:04
So that teaching them how to make vision boards,
42:07
visualization meditations, how to make action plans to get them
42:11
to the where they go, what their goal is.
42:13
For example, if they want to pass an exam, how many minutes a day could they
42:16
really know revise or whatever it is, how to persist through challenges,
42:20
believe in themselves, and make it happen.
42:22
So you are amazing.
42:23
I'll thank you.
42:24
Honestly.
42:25
So excited about this book.
42:26
Yeah.
42:27
It sounds incredible.
42:28
I feel like I need to start with it.
42:29
That was a child.
42:30
Yeah.
42:31
Okay.
42:32
What, how do you, can we go back to the idea of investing in yourself
42:36
to lead by example, because you've obviously been doing this within yourself
42:41
to be an amazing example for Wolf, so that he actually engages with this.
42:47
Because I think sometimes when you talk to kids about like,
42:51
you should exercise it, they're like, no, I'm not going to do the thing.
42:55
My mum or dad tells me to do that.
42:57
It's different if they already feel the positive effects because they see
43:00
how happy you are and that you're living the life that brings you joy.
43:04
How do you manifest for your career and your business,
43:07
and what does that process look like for you?
43:09
Like, how does manifest play a role in your development from a career
43:13
and personal perspective?
43:15
Oh, well, it's everything.
43:17
I mean, I feel I truly have manifested everything that I have achieved
43:21
and used my seven steps exactly.
43:23
Yeah.
43:24
I have used everything.
43:25
I think I'm very, very proud of my career that I've built and where it is.
43:29
And I definitely feel like it's been extremely fast.
43:33
And it was because of these seven steps.
43:35
Yeah.
43:36
And because step three is a line of behaviour that's all about taking action
43:39
and working hard and stepping outside your comfort zone.
43:42
And I have definitely worked my ass off to get to where I am.
43:45
So it's definitely not a step you can skip.
43:48
And it's not like you manifest you get there.
43:50
You're like, cool.
43:51
You know, it's constantly having to manifest progress, I guess,
43:56
and new steps in your career and your business, is that?
43:59
I definitely feel like I'm at a point now, actually.
44:02
I don't know what I want next, because I think lots did happen so fast.
44:06
Yeah.
44:07
And I'm trying to, I'm now going back to step one.
44:09
I'm like, ah, fuck, what's next?
44:11
Like, what do I want next?
44:12
Where do I want my career to pivot to?
44:15
I definitely want to build my own brand now.
44:17
So I'm just going to figure that one out.
44:21
I can't wait to follow along.
44:23
I'm doing it.
44:24
I also think like kind of exciting and amazing that you could have met like,
44:29
oh, wow, I'm actually really happier than my life isn't.
44:32
I've achieved everything I want to achieve.
44:34
And now what?
44:35
And I think that's because there's always that search for happiness.
44:40
Yeah.
44:41
And people think it's a destination, but it's actually a journey, you know, in a constant.
44:45
Totally.
44:46
If you're constantly trying to be happy, it's like, no, yeah, it's kind of understanding.
44:49
Yeah, I feel like someone asking this yesterday, I'm an interview that I hope,
44:52
but what's next?
44:53
I'm like, like, right now, like, I'm just good.
44:55
I'm actually genuinely, like, I'm really enjoying where I'm at.
44:58
I didn't experience life happiness for most of my life.
45:02
So for me, it's still a novelty.
45:04
So I'm just enjoying it.
45:05
Yeah.
45:06
Let's not skip the heavy stiff.
45:07
No, no.
45:08
Well, um, thank you for bringing such amazing knowledge and steps.
45:14
I think, you know, when someone says, oh, you should benefit.
45:16
So, oh, you should meditate or whatever, like the journey of how to get there sometimes
45:20
is really overwhelming.
45:21
And I think it's quite similar with money and investing and growing your wealth
45:24
or your career.
45:25
It's like, I know I want something, but I don't know the pathway there.
45:28
And I don't know where to start or I don't know it's confusing or overwhelming.
45:32
And it's like, you've just laid that out so easily.
45:34
Yeah.
45:35
Yeah.
45:36
Thank you for sharing everything.
45:39
Well, thank you.
45:40
Like, you're just here today, but just what you've put out into the world.
45:42
Because, yeah, that's pretty incredible.
45:44
The change of making.
45:45
So, thank you.
45:46
Thank you.
45:47
Thank you so much, guys.
45:48
That was so sweet.
45:49
Thank you.
45:50
And we also have a couple of books that we would like to give away.
45:52
So, if you're listening and you would love to read one of Roxie's books, then we would love
45:57
you to sign a couple of copies.
45:58
Of course.
45:59
I'll do that now.
46:00
Absolutely.
46:01
Okay.
46:02
Thank you so much.
46:03
Thank you so much.
46:04
Thank you so much for listening to Raising the Curve.
46:06
These conversations are designed to teach you everything that you need to know to be
46:10
better with your money.
46:11
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46:21
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46:27
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46:28
Lots of love.
46:29
See you soon.
46:30
Bye.