Latest / The Living Waters Podcast / Ep. 186 - How to Dwell With an Unbelieving Spouse

Transcript

Ep. 186 - How to Dwell With an Unbelieving Spouse · The Living Waters Podcast

• 1:05
  Mark Spence: There's a spiritual battle that is happening and, as you are married to this non-believer, christ knows what you're going through and you're going to go through that with Him.
• 1:17
  Mark Spence: Don't lose heart.
• 1:19
  Mark Spence: I don't know what you do other than run to the Lord.
• 1:23
  Mark Spence: Now you need to run to the Lord Unlike ever before.
• 1:26
  Mark Spence: If I was to go to prison, you guarantee that.
• 1:29
  Mark Spence: My prayer life is going to be raised up, my study is going to be raised up, I'm going to be known inside that area as a Christian and I'm going to love.
• 1:38
  Mark Spence: I'm going to love the people around me, unbelievers and believers alike.
• 1:41
  Mark Spence: If you're married to a non-believer, be rich in good works.
• 1:45
  Mark Spence: Let them know that you love them, that you are going to unconditionally and sacrificially be there for them.
• 1:52
  Mark Spence: Go above and beyond, maybe in cooking and cleaning or providing financially to speak good words to them.
• 2:03
  Emeal Zwayne: Music 485.
• 2:04
  Emeal Zwayne: I see the man back there with that number 495.
• 2:06
  Emeal Zwayne: That girl one's going twice 490.
• 2:07
  Emeal Zwayne: 490.
• 2:09
  Emeal Zwayne: I see the man back there with that number and the lady over there with that number $500.
• 2:13
  Emeal Zwayne: $500, going twice, going three times.
• 2:15
  Emeal Zwayne: Sold to the man with a young, grown toenail in the back, $500.
• 2:20
  Oscar Navarro: Sorry real quick, Eddie, there's something wrong.
• 2:21
  Oscar Navarro: Normally I have easy on mute, but I can hear him right now, please, somebody makes sense for me of auctioneers.
• 2:33
  Ray Comfort: They've all got slurred speech.
• 2:34
  Ray Comfort: That's the problem.
• 2:35
  Oscar Navarro: I feel like you could do it, though, because you are a quick talker.
• 2:39
  Emeal Zwayne: I have to say, in one sense they drive me nuts and in another sense I'm fascinated by them.
• 2:44
  Ray Comfort: Is it an art?
• 2:45
  Ray Comfort: They do it deliberately, yeah but why not?
• 2:48
  Emeal Zwayne: like you know, sold to the lady in the back with no head.
• 2:54
  Emeal Zwayne: Like what?
• 2:55
  Emeal Zwayne: Where?
• 2:56
  Oscar Navarro: did it go from?
• 2:56
  Oscar Navarro: I actually had a friend who was an auctioneer Stop it.
• 2:59
  Oscar Navarro: He ended up quitting to become an archeologist.
• 3:01
  Oscar Navarro: Oh, that makes sense.
• 3:03
  Oscar Navarro: His careers are ruins.
• 3:04
  Emeal Zwayne: That's a logical one, it's a ruins.
• 3:07
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh, that's funny.
• 3:08
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh no, he didn't.
• 3:09
  Emeal Zwayne: Good one Oscar.
• 3:10
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh, good one Oscar.
• 3:11
  Emeal Zwayne: You saved one.
• 3:11
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh yeah, you're welcome to the podcast today after that other really good one that you did.
• 3:15
  Emeal Zwayne: What was it?
• 3:16
  Emeal Zwayne: Karma, oh karma.
• 3:20
  Mark Spence: Karma, karma, karma.
• 3:21
  Ray Comfort: Anyway, anyway, I love going to auctions like that and standing beside people who are friends, who hold their hands loosely and just flicking their hands up in the air.
• 3:29
  Ray Comfort: I've done it once or twice Like that, really, yes, and I've also with Scotty who had come back from Huntington Beach, would come off the off ramp and then be a whole lot of guys selling flowers and looking to catch an eye and I'd get his hand and go like that and over that come immediately because his hand went up.
• 3:42
  Emeal Zwayne: That's terrible, right.
• 3:43
  Emeal Zwayne: But you know, I think my philosophy is they do that because it creates a sense of panic and anxiety.
• 3:51
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh, 100%, Right.
• 3:52
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, Because I mean, if you're like okay and if anyone else.
• 3:55
  Emeal Zwayne: Is there anyone else you're?
• 3:57
  Emeal Zwayne: like you just feel like take my money.
• 3:59
  Emeal Zwayne: No, I would like to sit down with an auctioneer and like have them explain the science to me.
• 4:08
  Ray Comfort: I'm sure to be something on YouTube explaining the science of auctioneers.
• 4:12
  Emeal Zwayne: We have to look it up, let's do the whole podcast on auctioneers.
• 4:15
  Emeal Zwayne: What's an auctioneer's favorite thing?
• 4:18
  Emeal Zwayne: To auction off His ears.
• 4:21
  Ray Comfort: Did I get it?
• 4:21
  Emeal Zwayne: Yes, and I made this up right, oh dear.
• 4:25
  Emeal Zwayne: It's because I know how your brain works.
• 4:27
  Ray Comfort: Well, he has ears to heal in here I should have guessed that.
• 4:29
  Emeal Zwayne: you would have guessed that.
• 4:29
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, you know you think about that too.
• 4:34
  Emeal Zwayne: It's like getting something in the heat of the moment, under pressure, that you end up regretting.
• 4:41
  Emeal Zwayne: I never do that I am the oh no, You're the whole.
• 4:43
  Emeal Zwayne: You're the obscene on TV guy.
• 4:47
  Ray Comfort: I am the ultimate pulse of buyer.
• 4:49
  Ray Comfort: I purchase so much stuff that I don't need.
• 4:52
  Ray Comfort: I think what do you?
• 4:53
  Ray Comfort: I got some gifts for you guys that I threw in the trash the other day.
• 4:55
  Ray Comfort: What I'll take it?
• 4:57
  Ray Comfort: No, you won't.
• 4:58
  Ray Comfort: When you store it there, we're as about 60 of these little chickens that you put on your finger and pull back and fire at people.
• 5:04
  Oscar Navarro: Why didn't you give them up?
• 5:05
  Oscar Navarro: I want that.
• 5:06
  Ray Comfort: No, I thought I can't give you guys that.
• 5:09
  Emeal Zwayne: Why We'll be shooting you right now.
• 5:10
  Emeal Zwayne: I know that's why that would be so amazing.
• 5:13
  Ray Comfort: They were sitting at home for about a month and I thought, no, those are going in the trash.
• 5:17
  Emeal Zwayne: Order them again.
• 5:18
  Oscar Navarro: I will tell you, speaking of impulse buying, if there is a website that has Apple Pay, I'm in trouble.
• 5:25
  Mark Spence: I will buy whatever it is.
• 5:27
  Emeal Zwayne: Are you serious?
• 5:28
  Oscar Navarro: Yeah, If I'll get an advertisement for a pair of shoes or something and I'll go on the website.
• 5:32
  Oscar Navarro: If there's no Apple Pay, I have a chance.
• 5:34
  Oscar Navarro: But if there's Apple Pay, I'm buying them.
• 5:35
  Oscar Navarro: They're mine Because it's so easy to do.
• 5:38
  Emeal Zwayne: It's just too easy.
• 5:41
  Ray Comfort: I have to get ripped off so much on Amazon because I keep buying stuff not looking at the size of what it is.
• 5:46
  Ray Comfort: I mean I see this neat little stool that I know is a perfect little stool and actually is two inches high.
• 5:53
  Emeal Zwayne: You know what?
• 5:54
  Emeal Zwayne: You can't climb up on top of it.
• 5:55
  Emeal Zwayne: I set myself up for that didn't I.
• 6:00
  Ray Comfort: I remember once I might have mentioned this before a lady said do you want the best price when I purchase something?
• 6:03
  Ray Comfort: And I said, oh, yes, please.
• 6:06
  Ray Comfort: Well, I just got a subscription to a magazine called Best Price.
• 6:09
  Ray Comfort: No, yeah, for a year.
• 6:12
  Emeal Zwayne: Do you?
• 6:13
  Ray Comfort: want the best price.
• 6:14
  Ray Comfort: Oh, yes, please.
• 6:15
  Emeal Zwayne: That is very devious.
• 6:17
  Ray Comfort: It was.
• 6:17
  Ray Comfort: I did cancel the subscription, but I couldn't help but admire the deviousness of the.
• 6:23
  Ray Comfort: That is really evil and wicked.
• 6:24
  Ray Comfort: I was so pleased with the lady.
• 6:26
  Ray Comfort: Would you like the best price?
• 6:27
  Ray Comfort: Oh, yes, please.
• 6:28
  Ray Comfort: Thank you so much.
• 6:30
  Emeal Zwayne: So, ray, are you the one that buys into those infomercials where someone is looking utterly miserable because their pencil doesn't write well and it?
• 6:41
  Emeal Zwayne: Looks like their life's going to end.
• 6:42
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, well, that's that.
• 6:45
  Emeal Zwayne: Yes, there's a new electric pencil.
• 6:46
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh, it looks like you're lying I really want it already.
• 6:50
  Ray Comfort: There is one.
• 6:52
  Emeal Zwayne: What is it, though, ray, what gets you to buy this stuff?
• 6:54
  Ray Comfort: Well, the only thing I don't fall for are those exercise machines that show people really happy while they're exercising.
• 6:59
  Ray Comfort: I never fall for that because I know that's a lie.
• 7:01
  Ray Comfort: It doesn't come with a smile.
• 7:04
  Oscar Navarro: You can get it right under your bed.
• 7:06
  Emeal Zwayne: Everything else, everything else will be forever.
• 7:07
  Emeal Zwayne: No kidding, everything else gets you, though, right, ray?
• 7:11
  Ray Comfort: Almost.
• 7:12
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, I have to be very, very careful.
• 7:13
  Ray Comfort: Oh wow, I recognize my weaknesses, all of them.
• 7:17
  Emeal Zwayne: I should present getting money from Ray in infomercial style.
• 7:21
  Emeal Zwayne: Send him a video of me doing all this stuff, and if you send this Arab ear money, your life will never look out of his eyes or light of it your life will never be the same.
• 7:32
  Oscar Navarro: Easy payments 2490.
• 7:34
  Emeal Zwayne: Isn't that dumb?
• 7:34
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, this easy is really easy payments.
• 7:37
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, obviously crooks yeah.
• 7:40
  Emeal Zwayne: Great friends.
• 7:40
  Emeal Zwayne: Okay, look, this is so, so cool.
• 7:44
  Emeal Zwayne: Someone named Shane from Alabama sent us all in and out cards and I'm not gonna give the amount, but let me just say it was enormous for each one of us four guys here, and then for our staff members, and then for you, ready to give out when you're out witnessing.
• 8:02
  Oscar Navarro: Oh, I didn't know they sent.
• 8:03
  Oscar Navarro: I knew they sent us the car.
• 8:05
  Emeal Zwayne: I was a little bit more ons, I mean, it was kindness, unbelievable, seriously, and and so, shane, we just want to say thank you, brother.
• 8:13
  Emeal Zwayne: It really blessed us.
• 8:14
  Emeal Zwayne: I'm still using mine.
• 8:15
  Oscar Navarro: I I just literally last night my wife and I and our kids had dinner on Shane.
• 8:20
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, no, I got it in my wallet.
• 8:21
  Emeal Zwayne: I'm just always going.
• 8:22
  Emeal Zwayne: You know what I did with mine?
• 8:25
  Mark Spence: Did you?
• 8:25
  Mark Spence: My son turned 23 and that was his gift from us.
• 8:28
  Mark Spence: It was so much, oh yeah it was huge so.
• 8:33
  Emeal Zwayne: Shane.
• 8:33
  Emeal Zwayne: Thank you, brother.
• 8:34
  Emeal Zwayne: We're very blessed and.
• 8:36
  Ray Comfort: We all.
• 8:36
  Ray Comfort: Maybe Shane's wife had something to do with oh and Shane's wife.
• 8:39
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, this is Shane, thank you and this is Shane.
• 8:42
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, no, seriously, your, your sacrifice Did not go wasted.
• 8:46
  Emeal Zwayne: You, you blessed us deeply and, more than even just the cards, the gesture of your care, that just that touched us.
• 8:52
  Emeal Zwayne: So thank you so much.
• 8:53
  Emeal Zwayne: And then we got an amazing piece of artwork from a sister named lilac.
• 8:59
  Emeal Zwayne: That they did, that did some, some drawings of Ray, mark, oscar, myself, and I loved what was on the shirts too.
• 9:06
  Emeal Zwayne: First she had Ray saying yeah, right, she had me and it said wheezy and I'm dying, wheezing on the Table.
• 9:12
  Emeal Zwayne: And then Oscar, it says 100%.
• 9:18
  Oscar Navarro: I didn't realize that.
• 9:18
  Oscar Navarro: I always say that.
• 9:22
  Emeal Zwayne: And then, and then it has marks in the nerve and it just says judgmental silence.
• 9:26
  Emeal Zwayne: It's perfect.
• 9:28
  Emeal Zwayne: With his eyes squinted.
• 9:29
  Oscar Navarro: We need to make this available somehow for our listeners.
• 9:31
  Oscar Navarro: I know maybe we can.
• 9:32
  Oscar Navarro: Let's do this.
• 9:33
  Oscar Navarro: We will have a link in the show comments and we'll have Brad posted up.
• 9:39
  Emeal Zwayne: Okay, oscar, you take a look at that.
• 9:40
  Ray Comfort: I will, because we keep our word here and, by the way, a friend of mine sent me this ball for my dog and the ball actually says yep right, yep right.
• 9:47
  Ray Comfort: Oh, I love that ball Just weird Sue was mentioning last night.
• 9:51
  Ray Comfort: How could be a ball the dog plays?
• 9:53
  Emeal Zwayne: right front, Yep right.
• 9:55
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, and she's so insightful that the t-shirts all say something that we're wearing in.
• 9:59
  Emeal Zwayne: The artwork says Ray says Sam's Sunglass Shop, mine says baklava inspector.
• 10:07
  Emeal Zwayne: Oscar says do you even coffee?
• 10:09
  Emeal Zwayne: And Mark says I love cats, I just can't.
• 10:12
  Emeal Zwayne: So, lilac, thank you so much.
• 10:18
  Emeal Zwayne: That's very sweet.
• 10:19
  Emeal Zwayne: You really really encouraged us, and she included a letter with it and it says this Easy my husband and I listen to your podcast daily.
• 10:25
  Emeal Zwayne: Every topic is so rich in information, encouragement and wisdom.
• 10:28
  Emeal Zwayne: While he waits for a new one, he starts all the way at the beginning and re listens to the old ones.
• 10:33
  Emeal Zwayne: It's a wonderful thing we get to converse about at the end of the work day.
• 10:37
  Emeal Zwayne: Everyone I come across I always end up going.
• 10:39
  Emeal Zwayne: Have you heard of the living?
• 10:39
  Emeal Zwayne: Well, have you heard of living waters?
• 10:41
  Emeal Zwayne: They have a podcast about that.
• 10:42
  Emeal Zwayne: That may get it that they may get annoyed by how much I love your podcast and push them their way, but I don't care because they're just that good.
• 10:50
  Emeal Zwayne: I'm even fortunate enough to have a Christian boss and have even shared the podcast with her, specifically snuffing out slander and giving up gossip for the workplace.
• 10:59
  Emeal Zwayne: Your podcasts have deeply influenced my life, and loving God and pouring out Under others.
• 11:03
  Emeal Zwayne: I really don't know what I would have done without you guys always humming in my ear my headphones.
• 11:08
  Emeal Zwayne: The podcast is engaging, entertaining and abundant and all things godly.
• 11:12
  Emeal Zwayne: Please don't stop making them, therefore, my beloved brother, and be steadfast and movable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain.
• 11:18
  Emeal Zwayne: And the Lord, I hope you're encouraged praying for you all.
• 11:22
  Emeal Zwayne: Ps, I have big brown eyes and, listening your podcast, my husband now teases me about them.
• 11:27
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh, thanks, yeah, like the Arab cherub's eyes.
• 11:30
  Emeal Zwayne: So thank you, lilac.
• 11:31
  Emeal Zwayne: Thank you for that amazing artwork.
• 11:33
  Emeal Zwayne: Again, we're gonna let everyone see it.
• 11:34
  Emeal Zwayne: Who wants to see it?
• 11:35
  Emeal Zwayne: I'll scroll to care that.
• 11:37
  Emeal Zwayne: Done, done and yeah, praise the Lord.
• 11:40
  Emeal Zwayne: All right, friends.
• 11:41
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• 11:45
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• 11:47
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• 11:57
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• 11:58
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• 12:00
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• 12:05
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• 12:11
  Ray Comfort: Yes, it's wonderful, yeah.
• 12:13
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• 12:23
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• 12:26
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• 12:28
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• 12:30
  Ray Comfort: Ray wants one.
• 12:31
  Ray Comfort: Okay, order on the next hour and we'll throw in and don't forget, friends, the evidence study Bible all at livingwaterscom.
• 12:43
  Emeal Zwayne: All right, enough silliness guys.
• 12:45
  Emeal Zwayne: We're actually dealing with a pretty serious topic today, and one I think that I'm sure a number of our Listeners will be happy to hear us address, and that is how to dwell with an unbelieving Spouts we should have had.
• 12:59
  Oscar Navarro: Laura here for this.
• 12:59
  Oscar Navarro: Oh, you stole my opening line.
• 13:02
  Mark Spence: The struggle is very obvious.
• 13:04
  Mark Spence: Just ask raised daughter Rachel.
• 13:11
  Emeal Zwayne: Boy.
• 13:11
  Emeal Zwayne: Poor Rachel man.
• 13:12
  Emeal Zwayne: She has had to put up with a lot with me.
• 13:15
  Emeal Zwayne: I mean people don't realize.
• 13:18
  Oscar Navarro: Yeah, we know, we all know.
• 13:20
  Emeal Zwayne: I mean, arabs are crazy, man, we are crazy.
• 13:24
  Emeal Zwayne: This poor, innocent gentle, soft-spoken, quiet New Zealander girl, a Mary's, an Arab, and I mean the first time she came to a family gathering, oh, Boy, I was just thinking what that would have been like because I go to Ray and Seuss.
• 13:38
  Emeal Zwayne: I took him a big old oh I to this day my heart is broken a big old bullet to bully my sister slaved over and they had maybe, maybe, a quarter of a bite each.
• 13:52
  Ray Comfort: I am right quarter of a bite.
• 13:53
  Ray Comfort: And then you send us a video of you at a wedding and I'm never sending it like it look like a disco, just you doing this sort of a hula thing.
• 14:02
  Ray Comfort: It was just quite amazing.
• 14:04
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, but wait at our rehearsal dinner.
• 14:05
  Ray Comfort: That was it was just the rehearsal.
• 14:07
  Emeal Zwayne: You were there, you know I wasn't, you were there for the rehearsal dinner.
• 14:10
  Ray Comfort: No, I don't think so.
• 14:11
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, you are.
• 14:11
  Emeal Zwayne: I'm offended, for sure, 100%.
• 14:15
  Emeal Zwayne: You and mom were there and you were fascinated because all my sisters were dancing and I was doing some dancing and how much was the outhouse at the wedding?
• 14:22
  Emeal Zwayne: Oh yeah $100.
• 14:23
  Ray Comfort: It was a lot of money like 60 years ago.
• 14:26
  Emeal Zwayne: We're still better.
• 14:26
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, I'm still better, no one used to.
• 14:28
  Emeal Zwayne: Houses are the greatest things in the world.
• 14:30
  Emeal Zwayne: Take two.
• 14:33
  Emeal Zwayne: I should have done so, but no, I mean seriously like I'd go over to rain, susan, it's like man, just quiet, air, pin drop and Rachel comes to my poor families gathered, everyone jumping around, ripping each other's hair out of their head, and I mean, yeah, so anyway, but so we're looking unbelievers in a marriage yeah unbelievers in a marriage.
• 15:09
  Emeal Zwayne: I mean, look that we're laughing and doing our thing, but there are, there are people listening now that Are probably in tears right now just even hearing the topic, totally because this is a reality for a lot of people.
• 15:21
  Emeal Zwayne: And there are some who are in this predicament because they got married before they got saved and then they got saved and they have an unbelieving husband or wife.
• 15:32
  Emeal Zwayne: There are others that thought they married a believer and then realized, uh-oh, they're not a believer.
• 15:38
  Emeal Zwayne: And then there are others who willfully disobeyed the Lord and married an unbeliever and now they're Reaping the consequences of having done that.
• 15:49
  Emeal Zwayne: So we want to be sensitive today, but we also want to be honest and and we want to deal with this- when are we not?
• 15:58
  Oscar Navarro: always Some dishonesty here and there.
• 16:03
  Emeal Zwayne: But you know, we want to really be frank.
• 16:04
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, frank and earnest.
• 16:06
  Emeal Zwayne: You're already Frank Frank, yeah, that's true, that's my name at restaurants.
• 16:10
  Emeal Zwayne: But you, yeah, it's, it's a.
• 16:13
  Emeal Zwayne: It's a deep topic, it's a very Serious one, and I think that it's important for another reason, and I want to start there.
• 16:22
  Emeal Zwayne: So, before we jump into dwelling with an unbelieving spouse, I think we should just briefly touch on the wisdom that should be Heeded to not get married to an unbeliever in the first place.
• 16:34
  Emeal Zwayne: Right, I was a very deep breath.
• 16:38
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, it reminds me of an experience I had I may have spoken of before, where Rachel, when she was a little toddler, like she was about Six or seven you may remember this easy because I see you playing with phone I was in the shower and she called out what color?
• 16:52
  Ray Comfort: What I do, my report?
• 16:53
  Ray Comfort: She had to have a color on the heading and I said, well, I do it red with a black background because she was drawing my wisdom, because I've had experience and all that sort of thing.
• 17:03
  Ray Comfort: And she called out what about green?
• 17:04
  Ray Comfort: And I thought, oh well, she doesn't want read with a black background.
• 17:09
  Ray Comfort: So I said yellow was another outstanding color and you could enhance it by doing this and maybe have a black daughter.
• 17:14
  Ray Comfort: She's called out what about green?
• 17:17
  Mark Spence: And so.
• 17:17
  Ray Comfort: I said green.
• 17:18
  Ray Comfort: Then she says okay, thanks dad.
• 17:19
  Ray Comfort: And walked off.
• 17:20
  Ray Comfort: And that's how can we that we can be like that with prayer?
• 17:23
  Ray Comfort: So, oh god I need your direction for should I marry so-and-so and God says don't be married to an unbeliever.
• 17:29
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, what about green?
• 17:30
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you what I want.
• 17:33
  Ray Comfort: You know, I want this and you end up getting green and it doesn't work.
• 17:37
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, no, it's so true.
• 17:38
  Emeal Zwayne: And and second, corinthians 6, 14 is where we find that text Do not be unequally yoke together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness, and what communion has light with darkness?
• 17:52
  Emeal Zwayne: And what accord has Christ with Belial?
• 17:54
  Emeal Zwayne: Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
• 17:57
  Emeal Zwayne: And what agreement has a temple of God with idols?
• 17:59
  Emeal Zwayne: For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said.
• 18:02
  Emeal Zwayne: I will dwell on them and walk among them.
• 18:04
  Emeal Zwayne: I will be their God and they shall be my people.
• 18:06
  Emeal Zwayne: Therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.
• 18:09
  Emeal Zwayne: Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you.
• 18:11
  Emeal Zwayne: I will be a father to you.
• 18:12
  Emeal Zwayne: You shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord almighty.
• 18:15
  Emeal Zwayne: So mark that this is a heavy thing.
• 18:18
  Emeal Zwayne: You and I've pastored for many years.
• 18:19
  Emeal Zwayne: We've done many weddings and we've been approached by people who wanted to be unequally yoke, and I'd love for you to just speak to that the Folly and the danger associated with it.
• 18:33
  Mark Spence: Hey boy, I cannot think of anything More devastating.
• 18:37
  Mark Spence: When a believer chooses to move ahead and marry a non-believer Goes against all sound wisdom, rages against all advice.
• 18:46
  Mark Spence: That's gonna be godly.
• 18:48
  Mark Spence: And they go ahead and move forward.
• 18:49
  Mark Spence: I can't imagine and we won't.
• 18:52
  Mark Spence: You and I will not officiate a wedding from a believer and a non-believer.
• 18:56
  Mark Spence: You even have to begin to question if they are a believer, if they are raging against the wisdom of People inside their lives as they open up scripture.
• 19:05
  Mark Spence: I mean, you're so Not just mistaken, you're.
• 19:08
  Mark Spence: You're blinded to the reality, thinking that you know better than God does Randy Smith.
• 19:14
  Mark Spence: He said as Christians we are told to be evenly yoked, specifically to marry another believer.
• 19:22
  Mark Spence: There are many talented and sacrificial, hard-working and kind unbelievers out there, but the reality cannot be overlooked.
• 19:29
  Mark Spence: The unbeliever, in biblical terms, hates your savior.
• 19:34
  Mark Spence: There is no neutrality with the Lord.
• 19:37
  Mark Spence: How could you ever spend the rest of your life with someone who hates the one that you love the most?
• 19:43
  Mark Spence: How could you ever come to an agreement on any key worldview issues?
• 19:48
  Mark Spence: It's impossible.
• 19:49
  Mark Spence: Wait for God's Best.
• 19:53
  Ray Comfort: Why does have a tragic spin to it, like bringing up your children and the fear and the admonition of the lord.
• 19:58
  Ray Comfort: None believe is not going to want that.
• 19:59
  Ray Comfort: That's right.
• 20:00
  Ray Comfort: The fear of God's going to be offensive to him.
• 20:03
  Mark Spence: Yeah, two cannot walk together unless they agree, right?
• 20:05
  Mark Spence: I mean everything.
• 20:06
  Mark Spence: You're, you're just going to disagree on everything.
• 20:08
  Mark Spence: Listen, beauty is vain charmers to see, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised there.
• 20:13
  Mark Spence: There comes a point where you're watching a movie and then you want to turn the movie off, but your spouse wants to keep watching the movie.
• 20:19
  Mark Spence: They don't have the same conviction.
• 20:20
  Mark Spence: What do you have in common?
• 20:22
  Mark Spence: Food, I mean.
• 20:24
  Mark Spence: Politics are going to be heading in different directions.
• 20:27
  Mark Spence: You're going to believe, be believing different things.
• 20:29
  Mark Spence: What do you have in common if you say, well, they are so nice.
• 20:32
  Mark Spence: Well, just wait, because that's going to change and repentance isn't going to be there.
• 20:37
  Mark Spence: And you're, they're not going to be asking for forgiveness when they should be asking for forgiveness.
• 20:41
  Mark Spence: Yeah, well, they're beautiful.
• 20:43
  Mark Spence: Well, wait for the 2024 model, because that version is right around the corner.
• 20:47
  Mark Spence: You know, ears begin to droop and hair begins to continually grow out of ears and things get worse and worse.
• 20:53
  Mark Spence: What do you have in common that is significant?
• 20:57
  Ray Comfort: You're talking about the man with the hair growing out of the ears, obviously.
• 21:00
  Mark Spence: Yeah, so there, there, there are so many warnings.
• 21:02
  Mark Spence: Listen, just wait.
• 21:04
  Mark Spence: And I have an encouragement you know, if people are Interested in each other and they both love the Lord, and it's heading the right direction.
• 21:12
  Mark Spence: I said get married as soon as you can and enjoy All the different difficulties of life as fast as you can go through it together.
• 21:20
  Mark Spence: I want to see the world first.
• 21:21
  Mark Spence: See the world with your spouse.
• 21:24
  Mark Spence: Yeah, it'll be so much better.
• 21:26
  Mark Spence: So, yeah, big warning.
• 21:29
  Oscar Navarro: I don't know how my marriage would be what it is if not for the gospel boy.
• 21:39
  Ray Comfort: That was dramatic.
• 21:41
  Emeal Zwayne: Well, I was waiting for you.
• 21:42
  Oscar Navarro: There's like a gap between every word I'm, I'm ruminating on the reality of it, like I'm trying to comprehend how we would have survived the last 12 years.
• 21:51
  Oscar Navarro: I mean every nuanced detail, every disagreement.
• 21:54
  Oscar Navarro: We've had everything.
• 21:56
  Oscar Navarro: We've celebrated every way that we raise our kids, the way we've gone about our finances, the way we've organized our life around the groups of friends we have.
• 22:03
  Oscar Navarro: That the very vision of our marriage is to glorify God.
• 22:08
  Oscar Navarro: It's not self interested, you know, and I just I love, I think, I believe that I have a beautiful, vibrant marriage.
• 22:18
  Oscar Navarro: I'm blessed by it.
• 22:19
  Oscar Navarro: It has its trials, but in the good and in the bad.
• 22:23
  Oscar Navarro: I don't know how it works Without God working in both of us simultaneously.
• 22:30
  Oscar Navarro: It just doesn't make sense to me.
• 22:32
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, yeah, and I think that oftentimes a big mistake made by Christian parents is they don't paint the picture for their kids early enough and helping them to understand the the deeper significance of being married to a believer, and so our kids aren't discipled in that direction and then the next generation grows up and it's it's not taken as seriously as it should be.
• 23:03
  Emeal Zwayne: I love this by Jim McGuigan.
• 23:07
  Emeal Zwayne: He said there aren't many things more stupid than Christians relying on a forbidding text to keep young people from marrying non-believers without offering rich, warm, inspirational biblical theology about Christian destiny, mission and maximum joy.
• 23:24
  Emeal Zwayne: By the time some young man or woman is speaking of marriage to a non-believer, it's already too late.
• 23:30
  Emeal Zwayne: To quote a verse of scripture.
• 23:33
  Oscar Navarro: I received really good wisdom from a friend of mine a few years ago and he said at an early age, before your girls are thinking about boys or when they start thinking about boys, you have to make a list of all the things they want in their husband.
• 23:46
  Oscar Navarro: And anytime they have a crush, anytime you know a boy gets their eyes, you take out that list and you and you say where is he at on this list?
• 23:56
  Oscar Navarro: You know, you put on the list that he would love the Lord, that he would pursue him with his heart, soul, mind, this is really good off correction.
• 24:02
  Oscar Navarro: And and if that's not on the list, you said little things, like he loves dogs, that he wants to spend time with my family.
• 24:07
  Oscar Navarro: You go through the list to help them understand.
• 24:09
  Oscar Navarro: Are you just caught up in a moment?
• 24:11
  Oscar Navarro: Are these your emotions taking hold of you, or is there something of value of worth to pursue here?
• 24:16
  Oscar Navarro: And the second thing was to like you're kind of alluding to we can't just tell them not to marry an unbeliever.
• 24:21
  Oscar Navarro: We also have to give them a reason why they should be in a biblical marriage, and that's by putting the fruits of your own marriage on display, and the good and the bad.
• 24:31
  Oscar Navarro: My wife and I try to practice if we come to a disagreement about something, we don't go in the other room and talk it out, but we also don't elevate our voices.
• 24:39
  Oscar Navarro: We don't argue with one another.
• 24:41
  Oscar Navarro: We talk it out gracefully.
• 24:42
  Oscar Navarro: We're willing to confess and repent, we're willing to reconcile and we're willing to do all those things in front of our children.
• 24:49
  Oscar Navarro: Because I want my kids to know the first time someone raises their voice at them, I want it to be a foreign experience.
• 24:55
  Oscar Navarro: I want them to be like whoa.
• 24:58
  Oscar Navarro: This is not what I'm used to seeing from my mom and my dad.
• 25:00
  Oscar Navarro: You know I want them to see a willingness to repent, to say I'm sorry.
• 25:04
  Oscar Navarro: I want them to know my dad would say I'm sorry to my mom all the time and that's the kind of husband I want.
• 25:09
  Oscar Navarro: That's the kind of husband my son, you know, I hope that my son becomes.
• 25:13
  Oscar Navarro: And so to display biblical marriage in the good, the bad and the ugly, to display all of that to our kids is paramount To give them a taste of of of what God is trying to offer them.
• 25:24
  Emeal Zwayne: So, ray, what do you say to the person who says, well, okay, I'm not married to this person, but I'm just, I'm just dating unbelievers.
• 25:31
  Emeal Zwayne: Uh, so I should be fine there.
• 25:33
  Emeal Zwayne: I didn't marry them, I haven't sinned yet.
• 25:35
  Ray Comfort: I'll be playing with fire.
• 25:36
  Ray Comfort: Hmm, just stay away from something like that.
• 25:39
  Ray Comfort: Don't tempt yourself, because you're going to be Like Oscar was saying your emotions can take hold of you.
• 25:43
  Ray Comfort: So you don't think clearly.
• 25:44
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, especially in that realm.
• 25:46
  Emeal Zwayne: So what is it, ray?
• 25:47
  Emeal Zwayne: Is it an itch that someone just Like feels they have to scratch?
• 25:52
  Emeal Zwayne: Is it?
• 25:52
  Emeal Zwayne: I just am so attracted to this person.
• 25:54
  Emeal Zwayne: Is it a lack of spiritual depth?
• 25:57
  Emeal Zwayne: It's stupidity, basically, is what it comes down to.
• 26:00
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, I just don't date an unbeliever.
• 26:03
  Ray Comfort: You just don't do that.
• 26:04
  Emeal Zwayne: You know, yeah, yeah.
• 26:07
  Mark Spence: It shows you the depth of their spirituality as well.
• 26:09
  Mark Spence: I mean, the biggest decision that you're going to make on this planet outside of salvation?
• 26:16
  Mark Spence: Here we're.
• 26:16
  Mark Spence: We're saying you know better than God.
• 26:19
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, I mean.
• 26:20
  Ray Comfort: Well, you know what is it?
• 26:22
  Ray Comfort: One of the greatest causes of arguments and marriage is finances.
• 26:25
  Ray Comfort: Well, that's gonna be thrown dynamite among the finances if you want to tithe to your local church or give to a charity that he thinks a Christian charity and he doesn't want to.
• 26:34
  Ray Comfort: That's gonna cause huge problems, yeah.
• 26:37
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, and you think about it again from the standpoint of You're marrying someone who doesn't love, or I mean in real biblical terms, when we look at the heart of man Hates the one you love above all else.
• 26:52
  Ray Comfort: Hmm, that's huge and blasphemes this name.
• 26:54
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, and you won't want to go on a mission Retrip with them.
• 26:58
  Emeal Zwayne: So true, yeah, and and mark things fade quickly, don't they like the things that that bring people together Oftentimes?
• 27:07
  Emeal Zwayne: I was just talking with with someone recently and just telling them you know the importance of Looking to what matters.
• 27:13
  Emeal Zwayne: And a spouse, right, I mean, look, all of us.
• 27:16
  Emeal Zwayne: I'm sure when we first met our wives we had them Cracking up, dying, rolling on the ground and laughter.
• 27:23
  Emeal Zwayne: We're still new.
• 27:23
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, over time, right, they get used to our jokes.
• 27:27
  Ray Comfort: Of course they still appreciate us?
• 27:28
  Ray Comfort: Oh no, they still laugh.
• 27:30
  Emeal Zwayne: Go ahead how you doing, I'm doing great.
• 27:34
  Mark Spence: I'm doing amazing, I'm thinking easy.
• 27:36
  Emeal Zwayne: you need some counsel married, they laugh even more than before.
• 27:39
  Emeal Zwayne: They try, you guys are maintaining in mind yeah, so anyway, yeah, but but you know, those things that got someone excited, even beauty, right, I mean you, you, you still appreciate your spouse, you're, you're attracted to them, of course, sometimes in a deeper way in a sense.
• 28:01
  Emeal Zwayne: But but yeah, we get older, we change, we, but those things that that lured you, oftentimes divorced from character and godliness and A heart that has Christ at the center of it, that's not there, man, you're gonna realize.
• 28:18
  Emeal Zwayne: What am I left with?
• 28:20
  Emeal Zwayne: Hmm thanks, things that fade and marry a prince.
• 28:23
  Ray Comfort: enough with a frog, yeah.
• 28:25
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, and the story of.
• 28:27
  Emeal Zwayne: Sue.
• 28:31
  Ray Comfort: Until I croak do a good.
• 28:35
  Emeal Zwayne: Do a good, frog crook right.
• 28:36
  Emeal Zwayne: All right, so now let's transition.
• 28:49
  Emeal Zwayne: Okay, we shared that.
• 28:50
  Emeal Zwayne: Friends.
• 28:51
  Emeal Zwayne: For any of you listening that may be on the brink there, I have no question there are some listening that are On the precipice of plunging into either a relationship with a non-Christian or into marriage.
• 29:03
  Emeal Zwayne: I wish I can get on my knees here and you could see me pleading with you to please not do it.
• 29:10
  Emeal Zwayne: I've done many weddings over the course of my life and I've had people who I told I would not marry because they were gonna marry an unbeliever Later come back and say I wish I would have listened.
• 29:21
  Emeal Zwayne: You don't want to be that kind of person.
• 29:23
  Emeal Zwayne: Trust me.
• 29:24
  Emeal Zwayne: I love the saying that says you would rather not have what you want Than to have what you don't want, and what you don't want is a lifetime with someone that doesn't love your savior.
• 29:36
  Ray Comfort: And something we probably should add is that we're not looking down with condescension on an unbeliever, Absolutely no.
• 29:41
  Ray Comfort: You're saying it's just like someone from a different planet You're gonna marry and you don't want to do it.
• 29:46
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:47
  Emeal Zwayne: And look, unbelievers can relate in a sense that you know they wouldn't want to marry someone that doesn't share their greatest Interest or have any kind of inclination towards supporting it, even if they don't like it themselves.
• 29:59
  Emeal Zwayne: It's just, oh man, yeah, anyway, all right.
• 30:03
  Emeal Zwayne: So let's transition then to those that are there, those right now that are are in the midst of that pain again.
• 30:11
  Emeal Zwayne: It may not have been by choice, because they got, they got saved after they were married to the unbeliever, or they found out that person wasn't even a believer.
• 30:17
  Emeal Zwayne: What advice would you guys have?
• 30:20
  Emeal Zwayne: We want to get in the scripture on that in a second here.
• 30:23
  Emeal Zwayne: In fact, let me do that first and then, and then we'll go from there.
• 30:26
  Emeal Zwayne: This is set first Corinthians 7, 10 to 16.
• 30:29
  Emeal Zwayne: Now to the married.
• 30:30
  Emeal Zwayne: I command yet not I, but the Lord a wife is not to depart from her husband, but even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled.
• 30:37
  Emeal Zwayne: Her husband and a husband is not to divorce his wife.
• 30:39
  Emeal Zwayne: But to the rest I not the Lord say if any brother has a wife who does not believe and she's willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
• 30:48
  Emeal Zwayne: And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.
• 30:58
  Emeal Zwayne: Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
• 31:02
  Emeal Zwayne: But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.
• 31:05
  Emeal Zwayne: A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
• 31:10
  Emeal Zwayne: For how do you know, a wife, whether you will save your husband?
• 31:13
  Emeal Zwayne: Or how do you know, oh husband, whether you will save your wife?
• 31:17
  Emeal Zwayne: So, mark, take us into that.
• 31:19
  Emeal Zwayne: What's Paul talking about here in terms of hey, if you're married to an unbeliever, first of all, don't depart.
• 31:25
  Mark Spence: Well, that's.
• 31:26
  Mark Spence: It demonstrates how important marriage is To God.
• 31:30
  Mark Spence: First and foremost.
• 31:31
  Mark Spence: God hates Divorce.
• 31:33
  Mark Spence: Now, we can say law on that for a very long time.
• 31:38
  Mark Spence: Marriage is not something that our government came up with.
• 31:40
  Mark Spence: Yeah, this has been instituted by God.
• 31:42
  Mark Spence: Also, I would say that it's been defined by God.
• 31:47
  Mark Spence: You know, between a man and a woman, we can't redefine that.
• 31:51
  Mark Spence: When you are with someone and we've kind of we've talked about this right there there really is nothing that our Spouses can do that would make us love them less or want to move on.
• 32:03
  Mark Spence: And when?
• 32:04
  Mark Spence: So when you have a nonbeliever married to a believer and my heart breaks for that believer, it's God's design, ultimately, for you to stay together.
• 32:15
  Mark Spence: Yeah, you know, and he gives provision, you know, to move on, you know, in cases of adultery and whatnot.
• 32:22
  Mark Spence: But it's God's desire for you to to be faithful, yeah, and to be a prayerful warrior and To get accountable.
• 32:31
  Mark Spence: Get some good friends.
• 32:32
  Mark Spence: You're not gonna get that, that great godly world views from home, so you need to get it elsewhere.
• 32:38
  Mark Spence: You need to become a student of God's word.
• 32:40
  Mark Spence: I remember when I became a Christian, my mom had told me we forbid you from going to church.
• 32:47
  Mark Spence: Well, and I said, mom, you may be able to keep me out of church, but you can't keep Christ out of my heart and out of my life.
• 32:53
  Mark Spence: And she didn't know what to say to that.
• 32:56
  Mark Spence: I even know what I was saying when I said it.
• 32:58
  Mark Spence: Really, but that that's really the case.
• 33:00
  Mark Spence: So you're going to be run down.
• 33:03
  Mark Spence: There's a spiritual battle that is happening and, as you are married to this non-believer, christ knows what you're going through and you're gonna go through that with him.
• 33:15
  Mark Spence: Don't lose heart.
• 33:16
  Mark Spence: So I don't know what you do other than run to the Lord.
• 33:21
  Mark Spence: Now you need to run to the Lord, unlike ever before.
• 33:24
  Mark Spence: If I was to go to prison, you guarantee that my prayer life is going to be raised up.
• 33:29
  Mark Spence: My studies gonna be raised up.
• 33:31
  Mark Spence: I'm gonna be known inside that area as a Christian, yeah, and I'm going to love.
• 33:36
  Mark Spence: I'm gonna love the people around me, unbelievers and believers alike.
• 33:39
  Mark Spence: If you're married to a non-believer, be rich in good works.
• 33:43
  Mark Spence: Let them know that you love them, that you are going to unconditionally and sacrificially be there for them.
• 33:50
  Mark Spence: Go above and beyond, maybe in cooking and cleaning or providing financially to speak good words to them.
• 33:57
  Mark Spence: Read books like the love dare by our brothers, stephen and Alex Kendrick.
• 34:03
  Mark Spence: You know where you have different ideas and how to creatively love your spouse, to love really the unlovable, where they don't make it easy, where your spouse, perhaps on a Sunday, just wants to watch football all day.
• 34:15
  Mark Spence: You know you want to go to church on Sunday, they want to go to the river.
• 34:18
  Mark Spence: You have to become creative on how you love and how you genuinely show respect and honor them.
• 34:25
  Mark Spence: You know nobody's going to do that better than you.
• 34:29
  Mark Spence: How do I know that?
• 34:29
  Mark Spence: Because you're in that position.
• 34:31
  Mark Spence: You're in that position.
• 34:32
  Mark Spence: It's a high and it's a holy calling.
• 34:34
  Mark Spence: It is not God's desire for you now just to move on to somebody else.
• 34:38
  Mark Spence: Yeah, you have major bed Right now.
• 34:41
  Mark Spence: You got to live with it.
• 34:43
  Mark Spence: You got to dwell with your, your spouse and understanding you understand their makeup better than they understand their own makeup.
• 34:49
  Mark Spence: You understand the decisions that they're making.
• 34:51
  Mark Spence: So you need to now dwell peaceably with them.
• 34:53
  Mark Spence: You need to be quick to forgive them, even when they don't even ask for forgiveness.
• 34:56
  Mark Spence: And that is an unusual position because our spouses are quick to what Oscar was saying, to have our children Hear us say I'm sorry.
• 35:05
  Mark Spence: You know my, my spouse today said I'm sorry for something that I did to you yesterday and I didn't even think much of it.
• 35:12
  Mark Spence: All right, Well, your spouse is not going to be quick to say I'm sorry for little things.
• 35:17
  Mark Spence: There's big things where they won't even say I'm sorry for.
• 35:20
  Mark Spence: You need to walk in that perpetual place of forgiving them.
• 35:23
  Mark Spence: That is 70 times seven in a day.
• 35:26
  Mark Spence: That's the life you're gonna have to live.
• 35:28
  Mark Spence: It is a high place to be.
• 35:31
  Mark Spence: It is a difficult place to be and I Encourage you to have accountability, to have fellowship, to be part of men's groups or women's groups, to get the word in you and there'll be ample opportunity to get it out of you.
• 35:41
  Mark Spence: And what I would not do is I would not say First, corinthians 7 says that you know they don't care right, so you can share scripture.
• 35:50
  Mark Spence: It is living in powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, as Hebrews 412 tells us.
• 35:54
  Mark Spence: But you can kind of share scripture in a roundabout way, and in those roundabout ways, still remember that it is living in powerful, maybe little portions of scripture and tying them all together.
• 36:07
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah and Ray, we talked on the last episode just about being careful in the in the missionary realm from Looking abroad when you have unbelievers all around you.
• 36:18
  Emeal Zwayne: I mean, in essence, for those that are living in marriages where they have an unbelieving spouse that becomes their mission field.
• 36:24
  Ray Comfort: Your aim is not to have a harmonious marriage.
• 36:27
  Ray Comfort: Your aim is to see your husband saved.
• 36:29
  Ray Comfort: You want him born again with a new heart and new desires, and so never give up in prayer.
• 36:35
  Ray Comfort: Prayer is your secret closet, he that dwells in the secret place the most high.
• 36:39
  Ray Comfort: I want to share something with you.
• 36:40
  Ray Comfort: It's very special in regards to God's faithfulness and to keep on praying.
• 36:44
  Ray Comfort: I've had a friend for a really yeah, he's a nice guy.
• 36:48
  Ray Comfort: He's the only one I've got, but I think we met when about 14 in high school.
• 36:52
  Ray Comfort: His name is Kerry Bennett.
• 36:54
  Ray Comfort: I got saved when I was 22 and he became an instant marker.
• 36:58
  Ray Comfort: He was not, he had a twisted, really fun sense of humor, but he'd always get the knife and whenever I'd mention the things of God to him, he was a Goliath marker, if I can say that even you know I'd write to him over the years.
• 37:12
  Ray Comfort: I'd write if I'd wait four or five years or I'm how are you doing, kerry?
• 37:15
  Ray Comfort: He'd write back and do it.
• 37:15
  Ray Comfort: I don't need to say I'm doing good Hope, you're well, I'm making lots of money with your religion and always be that knife in there.
• 37:22
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, anyway, I.
• 37:23
  Ray Comfort: About a month or so ago I wrote to him and said these are my words.
• 37:27
  Ray Comfort: I said do you have any thoughts on what happens after you die, because we're both in our seventies?
• 37:31
  Ray Comfort: He's my age.
• 37:31
  Ray Comfort: What's your thoughts?
• 37:32
  Ray Comfort: And I was blown away, blown away by what he wrote back.
• 37:36
  Ray Comfort: He said this wow, that's a really hard question.
• 37:39
  Ray Comfort: I'll have to think on it for a while.
• 37:41
  Ray Comfort: You've got no idea what this means to me to see that I'm going to start boosting her tears.
• 37:45
  Ray Comfort: He said my mind is all over the place since the death of my son and my wife recently, and it just it, just so.
• 37:53
  Ray Comfort: So I wrote back.
• 37:55
  Ray Comfort: I left it for another couple of months and I wrote back and I said I think you've been often long for you to open up and ask me some questions about God and life and death.
• 38:03
  Ray Comfort: I mentioned our views on YouTube and I said okay, that gives me some credibility to sell just a little bit right to me.
• 38:08
  Ray Comfort: I said you want to offend me?
• 38:09
  Ray Comfort: Hit me with some hard questions.
• 38:11
  Ray Comfort: You've got nothing to lose.
• 38:12
  Ray Comfort: I greatly value your friendship.
• 38:13
  Ray Comfort: And yesterday he wrote back thanks for reaching out.
• 38:16
  Ray Comfort: Sorry, I've not got back to you sooner.
• 38:18
  Ray Comfort: As we reach the pointy end of our lives, I am reassessing my thoughts on where we go from here and I'm more open and receptive than ever to changing for the better.
• 38:29
  Ray Comfort: I'm seeing an incredible lady, one of Anne's, that's his wife, best friends, and I feel someone has put us together against all odds.
• 38:36
  Ray Comfort: Suze is a believer like yourself, and I feel I'm coming down off the fence.
• 38:41
  Emeal Zwayne: And he said talk soon.
• 38:42
  Ray Comfort: That's 70s.
• 38:43
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, and I wrote back to my says I can hardly see what I'm emailing back to you because of the tears in my eyes.
• 38:49
  Ray Comfort: So it's been.
• 38:49
  Ray Comfort: I haven't seen him for 30 years, but never, never.
• 38:53
  Ray Comfort: Give up with your spouse, you know.
• 38:55
  Ray Comfort: Play with God and prayer and just show them you love them.
• 38:58
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, we hear stories of people who prayed for decades for their spouse and it's in their 70s or 80s.
• 39:05
  Emeal Zwayne: They end up coming to Christ Roscoe.
• 39:07
  Emeal Zwayne: I wanted to ask you, and if you had something else you want to throw in there?
• 39:10
  Emeal Zwayne: But but what do you do with the part here that also says okay, you're not to, you're not to divorce them if they're an unbeliever.
• 39:18
  Emeal Zwayne: However, if the unbeliever desires to depart, let them depart a brother or sister, they're called a peace in that.
• 39:26
  Emeal Zwayne: In that case, how do we deal with that?
• 39:28
  Oscar Navarro: Yeah Well, I think you got to start that by saying or repeating what Mark said, which is that, first and foremost, god hates divorce, that he wants us to be reconciled for his glory and our good at all times, in these situations.
• 39:42
  Oscar Navarro: At the same time, you can't it's clear that you can't hold a non-believer accountable to God's will.
• 39:50
  Oscar Navarro: You can't put him through church discipline and church discipline and the witness of elders is a very important aspect of marriage that it seems that the unbelieving spouse is outside of.
• 40:03
  Oscar Navarro: But I think we have to be careful, because you don't want.
• 40:05
  Oscar Navarro: What you don't want is to have a believer who's married to an unbeliever like hoping their unbeliever is going to leave them one day, because that also doesn't seem to be the will of God.
• 40:14
  Oscar Navarro: And let me just say, going back to kind of what you guys were alluding to earlier, I think one of the most important witnesses there is out there in this world to the power of the gospel and the transformation it does as people is the witness that a believer has to their unbelieving spouse.
• 40:29
  Oscar Navarro: Preach the gospel to them and then let them no one sees your heart more than the one you're married to, and so let them see.
• 40:38
  Oscar Navarro: You kind of mentioned it before.
• 40:39
  Oscar Navarro: Let them see the transformative power of the gospel.
• 40:43
  Oscar Navarro: If you're a husband, let your unbelieving wife see you love and lead gently your wife and children like you never did before.
• 40:53
  Oscar Navarro: Let that be a prick in their hearts of like a witness to the transforming power of the gospel.
• 40:58
  Oscar Navarro: If you're a wife married to an unbeliever husband, let them see you lovingly serve your husband and your kids like you never have before, for the glory of God, and let that love and patience and grace be a prick to their hearts of the truth and reality of the gospel.
• 41:20
  Oscar Navarro: Let them savor the fruit of God's work in your life and let them desire more.
• 41:27
  Oscar Navarro: I have a good friend.
• 41:28
  Oscar Navarro: You guys have met him.
• 41:29
  Oscar Navarro: He's actually going to be on a trip with us soon.
• 41:31
  Oscar Navarro: His name is Brian.
• 41:32
  Oscar Navarro: He was a police officer.
• 41:33
  Oscar Navarro: His wife got saved first.
• 41:35
  Oscar Navarro: He never outwardly hated God, he was never angry at it, but he was like oh, that's cute, churches for you and the kids.
• 41:40
  Oscar Navarro: I'm good with you and the kids going, but I've had a long day at work as a police officer, I'm not going with you.
• 41:46
  Oscar Navarro: And so there was contention in their marriage and someone went to Linda his wife and was like man, love.
• 41:51
  Oscar Navarro: Love him in that, love him well in that.
• 41:54
  Oscar Navarro: Let him see you love and serve and honor him as you honor the Lord.
• 41:58
  Oscar Navarro: But honor the Lord first.
• 42:00
  Oscar Navarro: And I mean now he's.
• 42:02
  Oscar Navarro: He got saved.
• 42:03
  Oscar Navarro: He's a elder candidate at our church, like he preaches the gospel at our church.
• 42:08
  Oscar Navarro: You know they have a beautiful marriage now.
• 42:10
  Oscar Navarro: But it wasn't.
• 42:11
  Oscar Navarro: But it was years that Linda spent praying for him and pursuing him with the gospel and with the transformative power in the gospel.
• 42:19
  Oscar Navarro: And so my big encouragement if you are, if you are a new believer or you're a believer recently and you're married to an unbeliever, pursue them with the transformative work of the gospel in your life.
• 42:35
  Oscar Navarro: Let them see that and let that be a prick to their soul.
• 42:38
  Emeal Zwayne: Amen, yeah, and I think too it's important to clear up maybe what might be some confusion in the text here, where Paul says that the spouse is sanctified by the believing, unbelieving spouse is sanctified by Ray's phone.
• 42:52
  Emeal Zwayne: That's making music.
• 42:54
  Ray Comfort: No, that's turned off.
• 42:55
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, I know why.
• 42:57
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, and what's YouTube?
• 42:58
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, right, Sorry about that.
• 43:00
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, so, so so it's rolling his eyes like I do that all the time.
• 43:04
  Oscar Navarro: Oh yeah, First time first time occurrence 101 things you do to annoy your co-hosts.
• 43:11
  Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, that needs to be the next book, right, anyway, where Paul talks here about the unbelieving spouse being sanctified by the believing spouse, or your children being holy, and it's important that we recognize that that is in a matrimonial or in a familial sense, as John MacArthur notes.
• 43:28
  Emeal Zwayne: It's not talking about it in a spiritual or in a salvific sense.
• 43:32
  Emeal Zwayne: Basically, what that means is there are blessings preferred from the believer to the unbeliever.
• 43:38
  Emeal Zwayne: God blesses those that are within the circle of the believer and and and those transfer over, in that sense, the common graces and blessings of God through the believer to the unbeliever.
• 43:47
  Emeal Zwayne: So it's important to remember that.
• 43:48
  Emeal Zwayne: But there is that opportunity to have massive impact.
• 43:52
  Emeal Zwayne: You know how many unbelievers finally came to that place where they were like, wow, I saw my spouse continue to love me in the midst of all the things that I did and my animosity toward the gospel and and my rudeness and you know, so on and so forth.
• 44:07
  Emeal Zwayne: And so we have that opportunity.
• 44:09
  Emeal Zwayne: But let me just say too, as a clarifying point, that if you are in a situation where there is abuse, you need to get out, yes, and you need to get out quickly.
• 44:20
  Emeal Zwayne: You need to get to a place of safety, you need to get counselors involved.
• 44:24
  Emeal Zwayne: If there's violence, you may need to get the police involved.
• 44:28
  Emeal Zwayne: That's very, very important to understand because a lot of times people get a misunderstanding in that regard.
• 44:33
  Emeal Zwayne: They think, oh, I'm I'm fine to stick around with abuse.
• 44:35
  Emeal Zwayne: That's never acceptable, because tolerating wickedness and evil and allowing it to continue when it can be stopped is not something that we should do.
• 44:45
  Emeal Zwayne: Outside of that, outside of abuse, of course, there is that opportunity to have impact.
• 44:50
  Emeal Zwayne: I mean this is for the wife.
• 44:51
  Emeal Zwayne: 1 Peter, 3, 1 to 6, wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands.
• 44:55
  Emeal Zwayne: They've even, even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chase conduct accompanied by fear.
• 45:04
  Emeal Zwayne: And then he goes on and talks about not letting your dormant be out external and he ends it by talking about Sarah and her godliness and she says if you do good and are not afraid, without any terror.
• 45:16
  Emeal Zwayne: So he talks about that honor, that respect, that healthy, godly fear.
• 45:20
  Emeal Zwayne: But then he says, hey, you're to do it without being afraid with terror, but it's under the Lord.
• 45:25
  Emeal Zwayne: So, mark, I'd love for you to just speak to that in terms of being able to win a husband over an unbelieving husband, without even a word needing to be spoken because of the conduct of their wives.
• 45:37
  Mark Spence: Yeah, this is probably one of those instances where we evangelize through friendship, right, and being that rich in good works.
• 45:47
  Mark Spence: I just I can't imagine what somebody's gone through being married to a non-believer and how to go about doing it.
• 45:52
  Mark Spence: It's a whole new mission field and, as Ray said, this is your greatest mission.
• 45:57
  Mark Spence: Now you think about the hardships that we go through.
• 45:59
  Mark Spence: Right, my daughter Eden had her wisdom teeth taken out.
• 46:03
  Mark Spence: Today, yeah, that is the biggest thing.
• 46:05
  Mark Spence: Instead of her life, right, her life is like coming unglued because she had her teeth taken out.
• 46:11
  Mark Spence: That is nothing compared to the trials of an individual who is married to a non-believer.
• 46:18
  Mark Spence: But listen, as hard as this is, it's not an impossible task to still walk with God in simplicity and to love on Him and to receive from Him and to enjoy marriage.
• 46:31
  Mark Spence: It is still possible to enjoy marriage because, remember, marriage is God's idea and it's more blessed to give than to receive, and you're going to be doing a whole lot more giving than receiving when you're married to a non-believer.
• 46:43
  Mark Spence: So many things are going to be affected by this.
• 46:46
  Mark Spence: It is a sweet place of worship that can be experienced, that we don't need to experience.
• 46:55
  Mark Spence: I remember teaching my kids, my daughters about the dangers of being trafficked and then what to do if you ever get trafficked, on how to stay focused in the midst of your captors and the midst of being abused, and how to worship God in the midst.
• 47:10
  Mark Spence: Well, it's a whole.
• 47:11
  Mark Spence: It's a higher plateau, it's a different plateau, it's a different place.
• 47:14
  Mark Spence: Being married, and don't mistake that, that God has now abandoned you because you have decided to go against His perfect will, as is prescribed inside of the Word of God.
• 47:26
  Mark Spence: He's still a very present help and time in need.
• 47:29
  Mark Spence: He still says draw near to me and I'll draw near to you.
• 47:31
  Mark Spence: His Word still applies to you.
• 47:34
  Mark Spence: You have to trust Him.
• 47:36
  Mark Spence: All the more Hard place to be but, still a good place to be with God's help.
• 47:41
  Emeal Zwayne: And Ray, sometimes kids are caught in the crossfire.
• 47:44
  Emeal Zwayne: You have kids that are growing up with a dad who may know the Lord and a mother who doesn't.
• 47:48
  Ray Comfort: Yeah, and it's going to scar them for life.
• 47:49
  Ray Comfort: That's where the mother needs to take them aside and explain what's going on and pray with them for their dad.
• 47:57
  Emeal Zwayne: And also the believing parent can still have spiritual impact in the lives of the children Because they're seeing the negative from the unbelieving spouse.
• 48:04
  Emeal Zwayne: But they can still use their kids as a mission field as well and get the gospel to them.
• 48:09
  Emeal Zwayne: Amen, yeah.
• 48:10
  Emeal Zwayne: So all right, friends.
• 48:12
  Emeal Zwayne: Well, there you have it.
• 48:13
  Emeal Zwayne: We know that some of you right now are no question broken over this, maybe even in tears as you listen.
• 48:19
  Emeal Zwayne: We just want you to know that we care about you.
• 48:21
  Emeal Zwayne: When we end this podcast, now, we're going to all bow and we're going to pray for you that the Lord would encourage you, that he would strengthen you, get other believers around you, get counsel from your spiritual leadership, get accountability, like we've already mentioned, and don't lose hope.
• 48:39
  Emeal Zwayne: Trust the Lord, shine the light of Christ, cast your cares upon him, recognize that this trial is not outside of the realm of God working in your life in a powerful way, and so commit it to him and let him transform you.
• 48:53
  Emeal Zwayne: No silly ending today.
• 48:55
  Emeal Zwayne: Thanks for joining us.
• 48:56
  Emeal Zwayne: We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters podcast.