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A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 6 – Showdown in the Arena · WarHams - Narrative Declaration

• Do you have any food? I've got an Emperor-class battleship. Melt-a-guns, come get your melt-a-guns here. Why does nobody want the grenades? No! No! Did everyone go see the Warhammer preview? Nope. Sure did. Was there another one? The 11th edition one? Yeah, 11th edition. Oh, yeah! I'm cautiously optimistic because I think 10th was a pretty good edition and I'm glad that they're not doing a ton of changes, but at the same time, some changes are needed and I'm hoping it's not a rerun of 9th edition where it's like, oh, we had a halfway decent edition and then they just add a bunch of shit on top of it and create a monster. I was laughing when I was looking at the previews and I'm like, okay, circle objective markers, no more. It is now terrain and I'm pretty sure there's someone in the company going just like losing their mind, going, why is that? No one buying our terrain. Why did nobody buy our terrain? And so they're like, I have an idea. No more circles. Fuck circles. All my homies hate circles. I'm like, put them in a box. Put them in a corner piece, like a rubble corner piece. Forge the narrative. Don't want your board game looking like a fucking NASCAR advert. Yeah. It was really funny. Cause I was, I think I even had some drafts of getting us like some circle ones. Oh, I'm sure. Bricky's stream was literally like him fucking pulling up. He's like, shit, I got people who are going to have these. I was like, so what are you going to do with the circle thing? He's like, I had to contact someone immediately. He's like, we have to shut that down potentially. I don't know what happened, if they're going to do it still or not. Cause it's going to take a bit for 11th to come out, but I'm, I was like, Oh, that's so funny. Oh, Bricky guys that made those old school fucking green templates. But in the modern day, I think, I think the best moment of that in, in word gaming history is still the LVO, which was run by frontline gaming, had a, had a whole bunch of five by sorry. Yeah. Four by six table mats. And this was before they like shrunk down the table size to like the 60 by 44. And so they sold, they were like, Oh man, you know what? We just have so many extra table mats from the LVO guys. We're totally like just discount clearing out a bunch of five by six table, like mats and people are like, are you guys using insider information on the new edition to fucking sell out of your table mats? Like before the new edition rolls out? They're like, no, no, no guys. Cause we have no special information. And like fucking two weeks later, GW announces like new table size. It was like, you ass. Just to make sure you're okay with people hearing that. Right. Thurston. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, it was, it was so funny. Oh man. I love my frontline gaming people to clarify, but, but that was just like a time. Well, everybody welcome back to another episode of a chaos odyssey. Hope everybody is having a lovely time. Hey, if you have laundry going, you should probably, probably switch that out. You don't want, you don't want to wait for you right now. Yeah. Unless you just, unless you just put it in, in which case, wait until the end of this to do that. Yeah. Hold on. I have an unrelated thing to go and do. Okay. Good luck. Good luck. Oh, no. Hey, there's going to be someone who's going to go. Oh, oh my goodness. If they didn't say anything, I was going to forget tonight. With how much of our audience has ADHD? All of it. Are you saying, oh my goodness, Odo, are you throwing shade at our lovely listener? No, I'm saying that I relate to them. Yeah. You have to have a certain amount of autism to like us. This is true. This is not true. Many people are saying this. You're sitting on a pile of 12 tons of Kit Kats. And if you are the person who stole that 12 tons of Kit Kat, get in touch with me. I like Domino's reply of saying, hey, Domino's response is really good. But hey, by the way, you know, unrelated, we're going to start making a Kit Kat pizza. I love it when the social media team gets like actual good things going. Sorry, don't go ahead. No, I didn't say anything. I said, I said that bad news is good news. I said, I said, speaking of bad news, it's time for the bad boys to get the plan. It's a black. Speaking of bad news, we have to play chaos. Odyssey. Yeah. I have to hang out with my friends and play a really fun role playing game where I get to like, even though we do this to support folks, everything else, but it's like one of the best jobs in the world. And I appreciate everyone. I love everyone here. Fuck. It sucks, dude. Yeah. God, what the fuck? I could blow the fucking hit you. He's got a gun to our heads. Especially Hulky. Everyone's rallying their chains. Who does that? What the hell have you done? Yeah. I didn't do anything today. I told you not. You know what? No, no, no. Fuck this. Fuck this. Hulky, give me a willpower. Yeah, right now. Fuck you. I'm not giving you a willpower test again. I don't need another mental illness. He's being disobedient. A human is disobeying. Obey me. Obey me. Peel his fingernails off. Teach me a lesson. Obey. I will give you a willpower test. You have to do it or else. Plus zero. Minus. Pile poop fees shows up and you're in trouble. Yeah. Pile poop fees is my favorite nerd light. That's right. Is there any bonus or penalty to this, Thurston? Plus zero. It's a flat. Oh, flat test. That's a flat. That's a flat. That's a flat. That's a flat. That's a rarity. You got to treasure that. Oh, no, I succeed on a bullshit test for three degrees of success at a 21. See, the best part is, is now when I make you make a real willpower test later. No luck has been used. This is, yeah, this is my 90 chess. No, this is the willpower role for you. Getting to just wake up today. Yeah. Oh, not again. Please let me go. Probably wondering how I got here. That's what life is. I got myself in this situation as I think both of them are thinking that as they're still sitting at the bar. Last we left our lovely band of evil folk Thurston from where I saw what eventually you have for us today. Oh boy. Well, you, you took the words right out of my mouth. You are back. The bar known as the, Hydra's den. You have been speaking with one of the, the intrepid folks who was here. The black Legion sorcerer, Harrison silver tongue. Who has given you some information on a region known as the hub, which has recently appeared in the warp, a kind of planet that is formed from, from acts of extreme slaughter. But everyone is trying to get there. And if you want to get there first, you're gonna have to get a specialty seer who can help you navigate the way there. There is one demagogue in the employ of the stations master, the Harrow master unknown. And you know, that there might be possible to win the services of, of this individual through a contest in the fighting pits. That's where we left off with that information sort of being delivered. We haven't really had a party follow-up to that. So I'm going to give you time to sort of discuss your next strategies, meet up with folks and kind of figure out what you'd like to do. I think when we left off, Stefan was trying to do something. I, I genuinely, from the last time we did this, I cannot recall what I wanted to do. If you wanted to go to the bar and get a drink. Yeah, but I wanted to do something. I, I'm this is the, this is part of the, why I was a little bit dour is because I can't recall what I wanted to do. That's okay. Life hosts with the information he has will just turn back to the group, uh, you know, info info in mind, and we'll begin to inform his compatriots bit by bit, wherever they're either assembled or kind of scattered. It seemed like it seemed like we have an opportunity to find our way to damn potentially if you go through the pits, our info lies through that route, leave it to the great lifers to sniff out an opportunity. And how lucky for us. What was required of us? I believe for us to best someone in the pit. Ah, simple enough award for a spectacle. I'm staring at Bethael. How long does it take for him to smile? Not very long. I have many secrets. All right. I won't tell anyone that I, that I timed the exact amount of time it took. Hold on. Roll with her. Yeah. I got to see. Hold on. You're you're right. I do have to roll minus 10. Willpower. Thank you. Game master. Oh, to Roshi secrets. Yeah, it does not take long at all for Beth. I ought to just kind of smile and just, well, if that is going to get us where we need to be, then I am happy to go to the arenas. You do not even need to incentivize me. Excellent. Then if we are done here, you're done with your business. And this, he looks around and just, and if he had a facial expression, it would be in disdain of the lesser, you know, it's like, mm, it's not space spring people. Mm. It's like of this feel. Let us go and claim our charge. Then it's one more thing that I think is worth considering. If we're going into the arena, I would very much like it that if the human were to accompany us, he had something slightly higher caliber than a lasgun. He has a chainsword. Yes. Yes, that's perfectly fine. I much prefer a chainsword to a gun. To a gun anyhow. Yes, but you are eight feet tall and made out of meat and metal. He is very small. Well, he doesn't need to be tall in order to tear through something with a chainsword. No. Evgeny, speak up in your defense. I can't hold all this water for you. Evgeny is at the bar. Are we all at the bar now? He walked off. I thought we were all at the bar. I don't, I don't, I don't know where the spatial existence of everyone is supposed to be. It's still supposed to be in the hider's den, but we're, I went over to the bar to go talk to Cephas. It's a big space. You were at a table with Harithan and Leifos, but then I suppose you went to the bar to speak to Cephas, like you said. Yeah, I think, I think the flash forward may have bamboozled some people a little bit. Yeah, we're split up into two groups. We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar. Yeah, we're split up into two groups. We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar. Yeah, we're split up into two groups. We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar. I'll look at the human names. I mistook for Evgeny. Oh, get away from me! Disgusting! I'll push him down. Oh, sorry. It's so insignificant. But I'll take a chainsword. Oh, okay. Good call. You almost got a chainsword of the deal. We don't have any to spare. Oh, well, oh, that's right. You have mine. I forgot. You're not like last time. There's like memories of shame and shame hammer. Alright, well, I'm bored. Let's go get Evgeny killed. Let's go get Evgeny killed. Let's go get Evgeny killed. Let's go get Evgeny killed. Let's not put Evgeny in the pits! I mosey on to Cephas and Evgeny, and I'll come up to both of them and go like... What have Cephas and Evgeny been talking about up to this point? So all of those horrible battlefield infections, I saw people's legs rot off, So all of those horrible battlefield infections, I saw people's legs rot off, and their arms constantly fingertips attack them. Those were all, that was your grandfather's doing? In a way. Sometimes and infection is simply an infection, but sometimes it is demonically infused. Other times, it's something else but all diseases within the grandfather's domain. Other times, it's something else but all diseases within the grandfather's domain. Every single one. I see. I see. It's kind of horrifying, actually. well, you just …you're gonna Даже, I'm gonna get gone. I'm not saying that I would care to be dead, but it's just meditating on that. But, you're just. so glib about all the infections and malaise and nastiness that comes with that how why that sounds horrible i'm hardly glib about it i could talk at hours length days even weeks if i had to about the joys and wonders of it all because it simply is what it is disease comes with warfare disease comes with deaths effusing the corpses of the battlefield the ripest playground for all kinds of microscopic beings demonic or corporeal depending on your luck one might say i am gleeful about it because it is the beauty of the circle of life nurgal deals in the cycle of life and death and in so doing disease plays an important role As does everything within you. You're full of bacteria, aren't you? And they're not all killing you, are they? Well, no, because they're in balance. Things in my gut that make me digest food, for example. But they're not eating their way outside. They're not leaking fluids of any kind. It's normal to me. Exactly, because it is not your time to have that happen yet. There are a great many who have had that happen to them for one reason or another, and that is because it was their time. Their apportioned fate to fall by the worms in their guts. And because you haven't, he places his hand on the countertop of the bar as he leans a little bit towards him. Because it hasn't happened yet, it is not your time. I see. It will all make sense in time. I'm sure I'll understand your point of view a bit better in the future, but I hope you don't take this the wrong way when I... I'd much rather keep everything, my countenance about me, a bit on the peach side, if you know what I mean. My mortal friend, I must tell you this emphatically. I am aware that those with lesser constitutions and lesser sensibilities... ...simply do not like the look of the joys and wonders of the great grandfather's gifts. I am not so obtuse as to believe this to be folly. It simply is. But you will see the right way of it soon enough. Especially if you choose to speak with me or the attendant or any of my other brethren or sisters in the system. But of course, it is your decision. All the other gods have their own sway. I simply know that Nurgle is the most over-eyed... ...and therefore the most... ...powerful. Well, if he's so powerful, you're so knowledgeable about it. Can you tell me why my ear is itching? Cephas will lean to the side. Lucetrix will also lean to the side and give a Medicaid check. Because she can do that and I fucking can't. There's the... Cool. Give me a plus ten. Okay. Okay, give me a second. I gotta check what her... ...stat is for it, because it's not high. I remember that much. There we go. No, not 1d dash dash. This keyboard fucking sucks. Yeah, 75. That's a failure. Not quite enough in that case. Could simply be blood flow. Could be nothing. Could be a disease. Could be flesh-eating bacteria. You never know what's floating around these days. I wouldn't worry about it. Not so much worried. You know, it's an expression I heard that when someone's talking about you, you feel your ear itching or burning. I just didn't know if it was some other kind of... ...nergal malady or... ...maybe just superstition. Please. That kind of superstition is beyond our grandfather's... ...interest. You'd be looking more into... ...zeench, if that were the case. Hmm. Lucitrix spits in her own drink. If they look at Lucitrix in her... ...loogie chaser... ...with just abject disgust... ...of, oh, yeah, okay. I'm assuming she's gonna drink that. Yeah, she does. But she will look at you with, like, puzzlement as you do so. It's the kind of... ...Urndel, you've seen me make this face before... ...and it's just kind of a sad disgust... ...of, oh, okay. What's happening? What? Did I do something wrong? Nope. Not at all. And Evgeny'll down his whiskey. The entirety of it. Oh. Speaking of our... ...your ears potentially... ...burning, I believe I may see... ...the reason for it, as he... ...leans slightly back... ...from his seat and sees the rest of the... ...quartet approaching. Yes? Something on your mind, brothers? Congratulations. Oh, sorry, sorry. Is something on your mind, guys? Alright, we can't just, like, look at each other... ...across the table going, hey, am I gonna go? It was just really funny. It was really funny. Because it's like you all answered his question... ...at the same time with what was on your minds. Lifos will extend a hand... ...as the president takes it. I am sorry... ...my Slaneshi... ...after you. Congratulations... ...everyone! Very soon, we're going... ...to have to take a little expedition... ...to the fighter pits. Evgeny, do you have anything... ...nicer than a lasgun to bring... ...to a life-or-death quarrel? I have a smaller lasgun in the form of... ...a laspistol, and I have a chainsword, sir. That's so sad. He has a crack grenade. That's true. I do have that, but that's a one-time use. The chainsword is perfectly functional. Yes, the chainsword's... ...not going to cut through ceramite armor, sir. We need to get you... ...a bigger one. I don't think I can use a bigger one. Evgeny, the... ...paltry menials of this place... ...are equipped akin... ...to the solar auxilia of Yor. I guarantee you... ...if we do a good look around... ...we can find you a halfway decent weapon. There were those... ...the ones with the flame weapons. Remember? Are you rated for... ...flame weaponry? I mean, I can use anything you give me... ...if it's big enough for me to use. Anything larger, unwieldy... ...like a heavy bolter, then I mean, I'm... ...probably going to be sitting there... ...dragging that thing around like an unwieldy... ...hunk of metal. My attendant would be willing to assist... ...with that, be a weapons team. I would. Can everyone give me... ...an awareness test... ...at minus thirty? Oh, we must roll to be... ...aware. That's going to be... ...really hard. That's going to rate out to just be a challenging for me, right? Because of my Auspex? Yeah, you'll get the plus... ...tens. Oh, you said minus thirty. Okay, so in that case... ...and I will get to re-roll this. Ninety-two. I am zoned out. I'm going to roll now. Nope. Seventy-nine. We failed there... ...but I do get to re-roll. I get to Hail Mary, hang on. Wait. It's based on perception, right? Yep. Okay, never mind. Lucid Trick's automatically... ...failed because her perception is one and I can't roll... ...an untrained ability at minus thirty and get... ...anything less than negative thirty-four. I got a seventeen... ...with two degrees of success. Excellent. You will fulfill my meme. Like, just outside the hider's den... ...there's like a guy going around like... ...melt-a-guns, come get your melt-a-guns... ...here. I was thinking about that too. I was like, we should probably... ...get him a melt-a-gun. A melt-a-gun at this hour? Oh boy, there's a grenade launcher! On sale? How convenient. I'll take a look at you, Jenny... ...and I'll roll a minus ten willpower check. Yes! Thank you! Thank you for keeping the bit real. Thank you. So, like, Byzantium... ...you see this, everyone else doesn't notice it... ...your teeth are like... ...chattering, but you just can't bring yourself... ...and the melt-a-gun man... ...walks off. Oh my god. I have many... ...secrets. We know that, Byzantium. You don't know everything. Why do you keep saying this? He simply does. I would displease my god by revealing... ...what I know. Uh, at the mention of... ...did you mention the grenade launcher... ...in character, Hulki? No. No. Oh, you didn't. Okay. No, there's no grenade launcher, there's just... Uh, someone mentioned a grenade launcher... ...and I thought it was you. No. Because I do have someone who could loan you a grenade launcher. That is true. This dead guy, you kill... ...someone in the bar with a grenade launcher? No. No, I literally mean... ...my shitty little minion... ...in her greasy, rotten mitts. Well, no, there was, um... ...what were they called, Thurston? They were like the Conflagration? The, uh... Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Endless Conflagration. Yeah, the Endless Conflagration. The, uh, the Renegade humans... ...who had all the flame weapons. Yeah. Yep. The Kindling, as they're referred to. The Kindling. We still have not seen... ...the Endless Conflagration and the Kindling. They might have some flame weapons... ...that our friend can use. Why, may I ask, is it imperative... ...you be equipped with a flame weapon? Because we need to win... ...in the pits, and... ...well, I would be more than... ...happy to be our sole representation. I don't know if we can get away... ...with that. Uh, I must again inquire... ...what about a flame weapon is particularly... ...meaningful... ...here? It doesn't have to be a flame weapon. I've been on fire before. It's unpleasant... ...to be on fire. I mean, speak for yourself, but yes. I've been on fire before, it's not very... ...fun. I was on fire... ...only, uh, what seems like... ...a few months ago, at this point. It wasn't too bad. I'll be honest, I'll be honest, I didn't think... ...you noticed. I... ...was bright. Ah. So? Regardless... I suppose that is up to Yevgeny. We must equip you... ...and try to find... ...an excellent weapon for you. We won't find it standing... ...around here. Let's go out to the market... ...making a look for something, Yevgeny. I mean, you could... ...hit me a Meltar... ...plasma gun. I think that's pretty good at punching through Ceramite. Okay! He will grab him and drag him again. Why did you stop doing this?! ... ... Who the hell's going to jog behind them? We're so lucky that he's so small. And I will follow with a... ...transitory look towards the Meltagon... ...sailspin. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... his 20s, it was gonna blow, but maybe... It's 91. 91. It's almost as though you catch the briefest glimpse, but then Byzantium shakes it off and is on to the next sensation. He has embraced this sensation of unrelenting mental anguish. That's true. I'm experiencing immense distress, and it's getting me. Brand. Wow, that's cool. You're welcome. I'm hoping that that wasn't just out of character. That just kind of got beamed into Evgeny's head. I just want him to suffer a little bit more today. Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. Like, in fact, it's all of the other weapon-like stalls that you pass by that are, like, closed for business signs are up right now that just kind of reinforces just how hard it would be for you to get a weapon, Evgeny. Well, we certainly tried our best. Well, I guess it's time to go off to the fighting pits. Someone has another chainsaw. Bethael, you have a chainsaw that's bigger than my body, right? Yes. Yeah, I could just... I can use that. It's fine. It'll work. It'll work. Evgeny, if you would like something that is more capable of dealing with things that may be resistant to gunfire from your weapon, I'm certain my attendant could loan you her grenade launcher and our blessed grenades. As he holds out that small, severed head with its eyes stitched shut with all the horrible nonsense around a blight grenade, just in the palm of his big metal hand towards Evgeny. I don't know if I want to touch that. I'm assuming the blight grenade is like many, which is like a severed head with a charge stuck into it. Yes. That is what the blight grenade last I recall, and I don't know if it's how it is in BC, but I know that those toxin blight grenades are just severed heads filled with awful nonsense that also explode. Here, if you would like to try the chainsword, there's mine and there's Byzanty's, and Bethael's gonna turn it over and hand the hilt to Evgeny. Are you relifting my chainsword? No, I'm keeping yours. He's taking mine. Oh, okay. What? Are you giving him an Astartes chainsword? They're both Astartes chainswords. It doesn't matter. Okay. It's beautiful. That's a thing of beauty. Thurston, what kind of check do I need to see if I can lift an Astartes grade chainsword? Can you lift an eviscerator? I feel like this exchange should be from orcs. You don't got a big enough weapon. Here's a bigger one. You better carry it and it's like If I recall correctly, I think it counts as like one higher so you can only use it two-handed and I think you take just a flat minus 30 penalty on all weapons skill tests because of how improperly scaled it is. That's so weird because you can get a human sized eviscerator, but the minute you get a space marine chainsword, it's like, oh, it's too much. It's too big. Well, it's like the grip and stuff, like the handle. Everything's like scaled incorrectly. Yeah, but you could just use both hands. Well, you have to do that just to use it anyways. I know you have to do that with an eviscerator, too. Yeah. Well, yeah. There's a difference between lifting up a chainsaw with a longer blade and lifting up a lawnmower's engine with a bigger blade. Ah. Yeah, but I was going to kind of cross his arms and like incline his head. I don't think that's going to work. Evgeny's going to half this thing up like, all right, lifeless, okay. I will gingerly take the chainsword from you, Evgeny, and hand it back to Bethael to go. The weapons that he's been trained with will give him a better chance to live. Have some belief in him. He might be able to become an even better warrior than some of us one day. That is the end I would like to work towards. I have faith that Evgeny will be a warrior worthy of this warband. And if he doesn't, the memories will live long past him. The humming and hawing over the chainsword aside, would you like a grenade or not, Evgeny? No, I will pass on that, but thank you. The offer is very much appreciated. I'm just a little... I've worked with a lot of corpses in my time, but something just kind of squicks me out about that. If you're going to be part of our warband, mortal, you're going to have to get past your squeamishness one way or the other. Not every opponent we will fight in the pits will be wearing ceramite. Yes, and they will die just as well to poison. Whatever opponent he can... Hmph. Well, I think... Well, I think... Well, I think... that if his opponent is not wearing ceramite, then his chainsword will do just fine. It tears flesh perfectly right, yes? Well, yeah, it's a chainsword. I mean, it must. If it didn't, why would they ever give it to us? Exactly. Cuts through most combat armor, just not space marines particularly well. So then, if we are to go into the arenas together, we will ensure that Evgeny has an opponent whose skull he can take, and then we will work our way up. And we will find out what we should do once we're at the arena, and then, with that intelligence, we'll be able to soar with our opportunities. He looks at... What he said. He looks at the sky of... The speaker's trying to say something. Everyone, I have terrible news. What? You have many secrets, Chartsu. I am extremely bored. Let us move. Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh. Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh. Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh. Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh. Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh. I need stimulation! He hands you the spinny fidget spinner. Oh, goddammit. Here you go. Yeah, I'll use all of my Auspex senses to exude all possible sensation from the fidget spinner. That's great. I'm sorry. I'm fucking at the series. It just popped in my brain. It was like a missile. I couldn't stop it. Oh, anyway, we're gonna... For once, Byzantium and I are of the same mind. Let us go. We begin to head towards the Fighting Pits, I assume. So, we are on our way. Yeah. Oh, okay. You make your way towards the arena on board. It takes, like most areas here, it takes some time for you to arrive at your ultimate destination. The pits themselves are sort of this... Roughly circular, almost more octagonal display. There's a viewing gallery up top where, probably elevated about 10 meters, looking down into this blood-spattered central arena area. As you come in, there are... There are figures moving around in the arena itself. What you see is a group of mortals. They appear to be armed with weapons. Armed with a, like, mishmash of weapons. Some laths. There's at least one of them that's wielding some kind of, like, two-handed power. Not like, like a stick, but like a spear. But the, like, the end... It's wood, but there's like a power blade at the end of it. And they are fighting two Adeptus Astartes in, like, vibrant orange armor. And as you come, come in, they are just tearing through them, and there's sort of cheering and shouts. There are members of, of the Heretic Astartes in the, in the audience watching. There are various mortals, many of whom are throwing down bets and disparate currencies. That's what you see as you approach here. Oh, shit. I should have put a huge bet on ourselves. Well, we haven't got to that part yet. So you still have an opportunity. Hmm, you make a good point. All right, give me a second. And I'm going to be looking for any possible opportunity to put a bet on ourselves. Yeah, you, you, you can, you can find, like, a bookie generally pretty quick here. There is, like, a, there is a ratling. Um... Who both of his legs have been, like, amputated. Uh, sitting on, like, this just throne of cushions. Um, with two ogrens standing to either side. One has their face entirely covered by some kind of, like, chrono gladiator mask. The other one just has a giant crab claw. That's pretty cool. It takes up at you as you approach. It takes up at you as you approach. Hello there! Good evening. I'm hoping to place a bet on myself and my compatriots as we are soon to enter the arena. Hmm. Your compatriots. Those ones over there who came in. Okay. You know, I think we could arrange something. Um... Do you have any food on you? What is the maximum bet that you're willing to accept? And return on? Oh. Do you have any food? I've got an emperor class battleship. You don't. Okay. You don't have that. It's not yours. Yeah, but he has many secrets. Maybe he does. Cephas walks over and kills Byzantium with a powerful sword. What kind of Byzantium? Like, what kind of negotiator is Byzantium? All right. First opening bid. I bid my homeworld. What? I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. I bid my homeworld. What? I bid my house! You don't understand! Because it's victory or death. That's fair. That's fair. So of course I'll all in. That's fair. All in. All in. All right. Besides, if they want the ship, it's their problem. So Cephas- Yeah, that's how you get out of the curse. Yeah, totally. True! Cephas is gonna walk over and deck him in the head. Yeah, are you really? What the hell are you doing? Why are you betting our whole ship? Because we're going to win, you dilettante. dilettante i'm not talking about talking in character i'm talking out of character i'm losing my mind why am i betting the ship because we're gonna win and if we lose we die i wanted you to say out of character now i was like no because we're gonna win dig you dilettante all right sure if we lose the ship that's really funny i i know my fucking immersion shattered into a million pieces with this pit i can't believe that a solid as she would do something reckless what's harry on the whole ship boy well ah it's gotta be it's gotta be something something else though and like like this ratling's eyes go over like your group right um and then like just like Byzantium, Lyphos, Cephas nearby, over to Bethael, and then like a radar hawk just goes on to Yevgeny. He's probably like staring around just like, do-do-do-do. Yeah. I got an idea. You want me to bet Yevgeny? No, no, no. You put him in the pit. Just him? Yeah. And what do I get in return? You put him against one of our green skins and what could I offer you that you would want? I want the crab claw, Ogryn. Do you happen to have a complement of Do you happen to have a complement of Doomfire Bombers or Dreadclaw Assault Boots? Yevgeny will put his hands up. I'll fight the pit. He stares at you. I'll fight the pit. I want that one. I want a melt gun. The crab claw guy, is that who you point to? The crab claw Ogryn? The crab claw Ogryn points at the crab claw itself like me? Yes, you. You want hands? You called it. That's kind of funny, actually. Very ironic. That's pretty good. I would ask for the three of you. But I feel like I'm not going to get you, bookie. So I'll take one of your bodyguards instead. You got hands. Ah. If I win, I get an emperor class battle. All right. Sounds good. See, we all walk out of here happy. Bethael is snarling so bigly at Yevgeny. You're going to the pit? Proud dad moment incoming. I've been cannon fodder for worse things before. I've killed things bigger than. Simple greenskins. If it's not, if it's not a war boss, then we're probably OK. That's the spirit that he's like shaking his shoulder. You've got this. This will be a fine day here. I'll give you a special bubble to ensure your success. You're giving me the first gem. Yeah, I'm giving you the first gem. Here's my curse amulet that tortures you and corrupts you. Oh, my God. Don't let it go to your head. Oh, this is. Sorry, I was imagining this. Seriously, as long as it's not a war boss, it's fine. I'm just imagine it's some WWE entrance of gore guts coming in like. No, even worse is fucking snick rot. Hold on a second. How how fast until the end the battle exactly? How fast? How fast until the battle? Am I losing my mind? How fast until the battle? How fast until the battle? I got an English degree, right? I got up. I went to college to be that stupid. Say my five. Oh, um, well, OK. The the rattling sort of choose. And I could get him in there pretty quick. I'm going to look around. Give me give me give me an hour. He'll be up. All right. Understood. I'm going to hand the beguiling. Gem to Evgeny Evgeny Slanesh will preserve you. Everyone else, give him your stuff. I'll be right back. Running full tilt. I'm going after that. Melting good merchant. I'm going to get as fast as possible. Yeah, I'll be laughing tonight. Well, it's like I believe in you, but also here's this. Melting gun. Like, OK, OK, OK. You do not need some slanesh bubble. You'll be fine. You say this. Evgeny is already over at Cephas being like, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's like what's what's like for the Cephas thing? The the screen like darkens, right? Like Evgeny like cuts to a picture of like your hand holding the beguiling gem and like a telltale like option screen appears and is like, do you use Byzante's gem or do you prove yourself without it? I will prove myself without it. I'm going to keep it on my person as a badge of honor that you trust me with it. But I I'm not just like put it in your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yes. Then you then you turn to go to Cephas. OK, I really don't want to touch one of those things, but. I don't know how big of an orc they've got somewhere in that pit. And they're probably susceptible to other diseases, despite being a blight themselves. I may ask for your pity as a backup. It's hardly pity, but if you wish one. Lucidrix. If you don't want to touch them, you can also hold them by the ring. It's at the top of the skull here. And she literally holds it out on her middle finger. And there's just like a ring attached to like a plant, like a like it's seated into the top of the skull of the shrunken disease filled head that's just dangling there. Great. And Evgeny will gingerly hook one of his gloved hands through the ring and bring it to his belt so carefully and hook it onto a carabiner. Would you like me to pray that you get a disease or pray that you don't? That I don't. I would rather not get any further. Diseases understood. She said, I appreciate you. You know what, Lucidrix? I appreciate that. I appreciate you asking. And that means a lot. That's choice. We'll get him yet. The stuff is just snapping his fingers on. Yeah, I was like, Oh, shucks. I mean, let me let me deduct another blight grenade from my inventory. I'm down to 90. I'm going through them, man. Going through them. You're going through. All right. Where? Where did Byzantium go? He ran off. Who knows? On all fours, like making my way, just barreling past into people, throwing people over the side. Just fucking go in. You might not be small, but that boy's a beast. I got that full of Stardy's battle. Like, what's what's the effect that when Stardy's moves so fast for how big it like makes people freak out? Oh, a transhuman dread. Yeah, yeah. I'm inflicting that full scale everywhere I'm going. And he's in first children, so he's double fast as fuck. Basically, um, all right, all right, all right. Give me an awareness test. All righty then. At minus 20, so minus ten with your with your minus ten. OK, yeah, let's rock. All right. That first one is a failure, but I got a good feeling about this next one, which is an even bigger failure. No, you're like you're desperately looking around for the melting gun merchant, but he is nowhere to be found. Was he a figment of your imagination? You don't know. But I know who does have a melting gun. I'm not going to. I'm going to try and not waste any time. OK, I'm going to try and run back to the ship. What? Because we just got a troop of 800 guardsmen. Oh, right. Somebody's got to have a melting gun. So I'm going to grab a melting gun from them and I'm going to. Is it feasibly possible that I get their impact? I'm going to get my impact back in in in like 30 minutes. One sec. If I if I if I make an athletics check. Well, it's honestly, this is honestly a very funny thing to ask, because knowing 40K, it'd be like you actually had to walk for a day to get back to your shit. Yeah. I'm already a. I need to. What's that? He comes back a week later. I got a melting gun. They didn't have one. That would be even funnier. It would. Oh, gosh. You know what? Just give me a plus ten intelligence check. You got it. I believe. All right, that's a 94. You absolutely know for a fact you will be able to run to this ship. You are so fast and so perfect you are going to be able to get to the ship. Get a melting gun, be back in time, probably to get good seats, too. Oh, that's a good idea. Just to make sure. Can I run so fast I inflict wear and tear on my body? Yes. Like, I'm willing to take fatigue in order to make sure I get there in time. I'm willing. Byzantius committed to this bit. He would actually rip off one of his arms. He would rip off one of his arms to make sure this happens. All right, perfect. Yeah, we'll we'll come back to that. Excellent. I'm sure it's going to go great. Well, we'll we'll check back in on this after the battle. Now onto the battle. Yeah. So back to back, back, back to the two. OK, so Evgeny, you've pocketed the gem. You've gone up to Cephas. You've got that. Is there anything else you're doing before? Lifos? Yes. You're a soothsayer. You're a sorcerer. You could probably you've seen the future before. I feel like that's within your purview. He flutters his cape. I'm glad you have recognized the talents of the almighty. They are all powerful. He puts a finger to your lips. They are all powerful. Lifos the Magnificent. I was about to say, you opened that door. I roll it, I roll it during the Horus Heresy, OK? No, I know, I know, but it's, it's like, it's like, Evgeny. I'm adding on to the joke. No, I know, I know, and I'm adding on to it now. Additionally, we're both adding on to it. Evgeny, you can't just walk up to, to glaze the guy and not expect for, you know, the rest of it to come out, too. I know, it's for the bit. I know, it's all for the bit. We're all on the bit. Congratulations. We're all on the bit. It's the bit. Bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit. That's right. That's right, Greg. This can't wait a month. Bep. But yes, how can I help you? I don't suppose with your prescience, yeah, I, um, I don't suppose with your prescience you might be able to give me a creative edge on the fight ahead? At least knowing who I'm fighting. Oh. Oh. Oh, Evgeny. I would be more than happy to assist you if I purchased that psychic power when we leveled up. Fuck! There's literally a psychic power for exactly that, and I've had to fix our stuff so much I've lost track, so I think I could get it, but I'm too scared if I'm wrong. So that'll be up to the mercy of Thurston, in which it's understandable if he says, nah, man. Otherwise, we could try to look to all Thurston and go, would a science science help out? Evgeny, the screen darkens around you as a telltale option appears in front of you. Dang! Do you take the pity of the chaos gods? Or do you prove yourself? Or do you prove yourself? Uhhhh. You should take pity, because that gets me a psychic power. That's what I'm getting out of you. Truly a chaos wizard. Yeah. Yeah, clearly. I've been getting this in thoughts into your mind. Take the fucking deal. Bethael is staring so bigly. No, you don't need to take it. Fuck that guy, all right? Don't take the powers. I want more power. Don't take the powers. You be weak now. Be a bitch. Blink, blink, blink, blink. I've spent so long being weak. Yeah, do it longer. If I was weak, if I was stronger, I could have saved my men. I could have saved my unit. I could have put a bullet in that Inquisitor's head. I don't need their pity. I'm better. Are you saying this out loud as you're beginning? Yes. He'll do it down to you. My boy. You must understand that it's not a weakness to take power. In fact, it'll give you the advantage. If you were able to seek out these opportunities, maybe then you could have saved your friends. Maybe then you would have the power to even bring them back. Allow the Zinj to take hold and change your fate and give you the chance of victory. Because what else is there to prove if you're a dead man? Existence is the struggle to exist, Lyphos. If I do not prove myself and my right to exist, I will never be able to do it. If I do not prove myself and my right to exist, I will never be able to do it. Then I never stood a chance in the first place. One way or the other, whatever I take from Zinj will go back to him in time. So I will not take from him. I will enter the pits. I will take the life of whatever horrible greenskin is down there. And I will breathe in the stink of its decaying flesh, knowing that I am alive. And I will breathe in the stink of its decaying flesh, knowing that I am alive. Spoken. It is not. Like a follower of Khorne. I see Bethael has played quite an influence on you. No, not me. His own strength, yes. Serve as one little peon in a sea of billions. And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos. And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos. And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos. I don't know if you even have before you became this. But when you're nothing, every path leads up. I don't relish killing. I really truly don't. I just have to do what I have to do to survive. I really truly don't. I just have to do what I have to do to survive. You've given me and all my thousands of years of, well, He kind of takes the skull and turns it as if it's turned over to the empty spaces where his, his choice. Turned over to the empty spaces where his face would be. Thurston, if you would allow me for this, can I do like a sort of like a willpower test or a science thing to kind of like do like a sort of projection of what life foes would have looked like before all the oh-noes happened? Yeah, sure. I'll give you a willpower at plus 10. But if you roll any doubles, it's perils. Well, sorry, psychic phenomena. Gotcha. I'll have the plus 10, the focus thing automatically do it. So plus zero on this. And it's 96. Well, you try. It's not your skin and stuff is just not it's not it's not it's not forming correctly. In fact, it's one of the hardest things you found to try to do is it just every time. You try to do it. It doesn't work. It's less a scan. I was trying to make like a psychic holographic like projection. Yeah. Yeah. But like to create that vision, like you're having troubles. Yeah. Like begins to flicker and mess up. And he says, I've seen so many of you perish, Evgeny. So many of you try to prove themselves to the galaxy. As much as they could get themselves a beat of glory. You soon find that it all just fades away and you see the as a punctuating the failed vision. Like it goes and stuff like I try to take care of people and prosper. Many of them died in my arms when the world surrounded us all. And even before and even before. And all the way to now. You know, Evgeny, I see much potential in you, but if you wish to take the risk, that's your path to choose. Always know you have options on the table. And Lifos will stand up and he'll fold his arms. He looked down at you a bit disappointingly, but a bit proud. And he'll say. Best of luck at that exact moment, Evgeny, you feel a large prod in your back, left shoulder. Yes. You turn around to see hands with his crab claw pushed into you. OK. They're ready for you. All right. I'm going to take the rest of the way. Say any last words. That's right. Gotcha. Gotcha. And he parsing wisdom. This will not be your last words, Evgeny. Fight well. Bathe. We cut to Byzantium running through the umbilical. He hasn't even boarded the ship yet. Oh, my God. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Yeah, that's that's that's what's that's what's going on. We kept back to the last words. Steve. Jenny. Damn. I've already said mine. Well, good. I need to go. Yeah, I like I like that. Have fun in there. Get out of trip. They all stare at you. So you've getting you're like like like hands takes you into the side like corridor that leads to like a small like elevator that goes down and you stand awkwardly in the shadow of this Ogryn who just looks down at you and like puts the crab claw kind of gently but also slightly biting into your right shoulder I don't think you're gonna win come on man can you run that by me one more time Hans oh I'm sorry sometimes I don't enunciate well I said I don't think you're gonna win I think the green skin is gonna kill you and that's sad cause I think I like you well Hans you're slightly mistaken I understood everything you said but you were missing something as a part of that and do you know what that is no I don't what you should have said is I don't think you're going to win sir because you're joining my unit when I walk out of there with that green skin's blood all over my armor I haven't been in a unit for a while not since the war oh the war never ended Claus Hans yeah same difference Claus was another guy he's dead did he have regular hands no he had four sets of arms that's significantly less humorous and ironic he died did you die did you die did you die did you have a name before or were you always just whatever they called you Hans well I had one of them serials they called me Hans cause before I had this he clicks the like cram claw I had real hands and that's when I used him to kill my sir he tried to make me go in the back of that chimera and I didn't want to go it's so dark and scary in there Evgenio put his hand on his hand on Hans's like elbow because it's the closest thing to him that's big enough yeah you did you did what you had to do to survive I know those are very scary boxes if you're my sir never put me in a box or I'll kill you we will figure out how to get you back to the spaceship then buddy it's just a bigger box I never thought it would be that way am I on a box right now yeah I was gonna say you're in a box right now actually uh oh uh oh I don't mean to tell you this but okay you need to go now sir you just walked out of that hole you are the sir put you in a box make sure he learns his lesson go get him champ and Evgenio will walk off towards the pit alright as he's walking down this hallway towards the actual arena he's gonna think oh fuck I've just been flying by the seat of the bus I've just been flying by the seat of the bus I've just been flying by the seat of the bus my pants isn't tight time haven't I oh well I don't know I don't know I don't know it's like my sir always said get busy living or I didn't say the last part but I knew what he meant let's let's go it's too loud inside my own head I want to kill somebody there's cheering as Evgenio walks out into the sort of like connecting bridge that leads to the central octagonal platform um the guardrails have been raised up um there's like jeering and shouting from an audience above you've getting you can look up but you see like spotlights blinding you you're pretty sure you can see the silhouette of some of your companions up there though it's really hard to keep focused for a while um but you you you definitely hear the vox augmented voice all right so here we have you've gunny you've gunny the guardsman uh recently taken from the imperium he's come here to prove himself everybody let's hear it for you've got boo boo and like a lot of people are just like booing you i'm making the declaration you okay no one cheers this is one guy that goes oh that that's good because that means maximum return on our investment yeah that's true are we are we in the audience thurston yes yeah yeah and the one person who goes woo just be lucitrix not even the three of us are saying anything yeah and then the three of us just look over hold it down hold down i have some bad news everybody bad news we were gonna have a rough and tumble green skin taken from the soil of armageddon to fight here but sad news everybody that green skin came back with a lot of radiation poisoning it's not really a fair fight to send that green skin in i'm please we went to the nearby feral world of baron where we got a baron orc boy which are known to be a far more dangerous specimen of orcs whoo yeah tricks that's bad oh right forgot there's a shirtless guy with and they're dumb they're so dumb apparently sackers can't even mess with them y'all okay just in case lapos tries to do something during the combat yeah fuck you this is still really funny to me because i do remember them saying there are no there are no americans in warhammer 40k and thurston has whipped out like four it's great i want they're all in the chaos side of things i want one guy in the audience to like stand up his shirt's off he's got like green skins painted on his belly and stuff like that he's banging it horrible human drum all right what walks out and and i don't have like an appropriate art piece for this instead i'm gonna use the uh this lovely little art oh yeah lovely our fire jurors do we all love and do yeah yeah yeah yours uh but the orc that exits is um a far larger specimen um has far less armor in fact is wearing like hide um there's notable like red tattoos on his bulging green biceps like there are squigs racing squigs and like checker patterns that have been tattooed onto him thurston he comes out yes uh you said he's wearing hide right yeah hide armor how's he gonna how's hulk you gonna see him oh oh i see i'll leave it i'll leave i'm sorry and lifehose is ripped apart by invisible demons in front of everyone in the comments he's got he's got some kind of like simple like pistol gun in his right hand um in his left he carries a large choppa um like as he comes out looks up like shows the guns briefly and like kisses his bicep then like kind of does like a muscle pose as both of his arms tighten and go in front of his chest as he stares ahead at you you know he's on just what i did why did k descobaven who isgor i actually had an aquarium because i really wanted to do it today cool holy aprèsolly that looked super cool but can i use that might move to stereo if i have something like that i'll give you the take in that out as took it xzhammer is it�ona that really feels cool oh isgor back though i really wanted to do it i honestly just couldn't because i loved xz accumulate that she picked christmas car and did eric and still just died nobody could give a fucking hand that you you've genny why is he doing that oh that's weird why is he looking at me i'm gonna i'm gonna put you on the combat map here you've getting my friend i'm fighting the giant obelisk of orc yes you are um you can uh you can evgeny roll me initiative you will beat the orc handily at that without yeah handily handily uh the orcs ice and head snap up towards you it seems to be ready to charge what are you doing you've getting uh evgeny is going he's 10 meters away from you is the arena completely open it's completely open okay but wait he's stupid uh i'm gonna attempt to enter stealth and back up put your hands in front of your eyes okay peekaboo okay okay so you can make like you don't need to use it yeah it's not an actual combat it's a theater of mine thing it's just the functions of the slime so what evgeny is going to do is attempt to enter stealth by using his chameleon cloak and his boot to kick up a ton of dust to obscure immediate vision of him and use that transition sure it's going to be just ordinary stealth check ordinary stealth check which is different in this because it is a different skill oh yeah because you should oh no it's there again yeah yeah i'm gonna roll that with a 35 for four degrees of success okay so you like kick up dust and go under your cloak he's gonna use that to reposition and disorient the orc and try and get behind him ideally okay you're not able to move that far you're only able to like start positioning uh the orc uh then will follow up we'll run six meters into the middle of the arena and then pause and look where'd he go where'd he go where'd he go as like all the rest of you up top can just see this like chameleon line turd like waddling and shaking around the arena the orc is clearly unable to spot it not my favorite tactic but an effective one i'm not quite sure how he's pulling that off evgeny year ago evgeny is going to then take aim at this work while it is disoriented uh-huh and about how far away is it right now is it right in the middle of the arena but it's about he's about four meters away from oh so it's like point blank range at that point i'm sorry no it's that's half range it's sure yeah yeah maybe you can still target the the picture there yeah there should be a square see that worse that works all right we like that and we are going to fire this semi-auto at overcharge for a full action all right remember you yeah you're gonna we're gonna try since it is a success with three degrees of success yeah breaks that one on the die um he's not aware of you he cannot dodge this so apply john damaged i'm going to apply john damage it's like a total of seven at pen two sorry of course once again it decides to do this stupid thing wherever we properly keep the token selected all right there were two different heads one was for 11 the other was seven for a total of seven i'll just i'll apply this apparently okay so your first shot hits the orc in the right arm um the the arm that's carrying the shoot gun um dealing some damage and then a single bolt hits the body seemingly grazing it the green skin now sees you evgeny and um i hate to say uh yeah because you just shot it but stealth mechanics are funny in this game although i actually think i'm too i'm within his range of sight so even if i am stealth does he have the orc have a funny ow you hit me catchphrase uh it's to go like you know a warhammer player at a tournament and then he rushes you uh and is coming at you with a choppa my friend is that so yes it's so we're gonna see what happens here it oh definitely gonna hit you sorry to say my friend i'm going to parry perry it heck yeah um actually how can you bury it because you fired your last gun right you could dodge yeah i could indeed dodge mm-hmm why you have to switch to your close combat gear we haven't i have not had the opportunity to fight in close combat yet now you learn as the boy screams and raises this chopper to bring down on you you may click the dodge button i did it didn't seem to roll oh maybe i didn't use a reaction this round i don't know why it's telling me that i yeah i don't know why that either i don't know that either uh just just roll me a dodge test sure sure sure i get that maybe huh no weird thing i will take note of that it's gonna be a 28 for five degrees of success whoa you're dodging 60 damn it's best as buck it is all right the orc comes at him screaming waving that choppa if getting just as a quick two-step sweeps his leg back gets low spins around um yeah yeah okay uh here we go you've got if getting seen the opportunity takes the opportunity to once again attempt to disengage and play this game of cat and mouse with this orc boy trying to kick up again get into stealth and move as far away as he can okay so you are looking to disengage disengaging disengaging is a full action which means you can't use stealth I see if you try to leave and restell he will get to attack you in that case we might have to fight a little bit closer combat now he is not the strongest but he does have his sword as you get me you can swap out your weapon with ready action and then you can make a standard attack if you want crowd at this point is starting to get in like intense seeing that the orc is closed that your opening gambit has not killed the green skin everyone's kind of leaning forward they're like a commentator like and he gets out the sword like it's a still chair if he does it if he does it evgeny is going to attempt to seize the opportunity knowing that disengaging would probably mean a huge strike across his back which as we know is a massive dishonor to any martial student and is going to attempt to strike with his chainsword heck yeah swapping strike you don't get name bonus but you can attack oof oof oof alas your your strength goes wide yeah um well i guess i guess he's gonna go as as he looks down and just says puny uni um um and he's gonna try to chop you again just just brings up this immense weapon tries to bring it down on you thurston can we assist him from the crowd by going he's about to get you on the side swipe and then potentially help uh you're getting if he tries to dodge increase the chances sure sure i'll yeah i'll uh but but he'll miss the the orc misses here so like it smacks into the into the deck plating he's clearly annoyed at you you've getting stairs filthy filthy Hey, greenskin, you'll have to try harder than that. I've put down bigger piles of shit than you. Lyphos leans on a Bethel. I didn't know they stacked shit that high. They do in the Imperium, yeah. Uh, Thurston, actually, a question. Because I do have the quick draw talent, would that mean that I wouldn't have lost that action in order to holster, then draw, or rather, draw the chainsword? Or because it is a two-handed weapon, I would need to holster it? So I'd have to spend it regardless to actually put it away and then get the chainsword out. Yeah, you still would have missed the last attack, even with it, because all it would have got you would have been, like, an extra half action, so. Gotcha, I see. Yeah. Now, because the chainswords are one-handed for humans, would that mean I could then also draw my last pistol as a free action via quick draw? Yeah, yeah, I'd say you'd have both, no? Hell yeah. All right, so I'm going to take the opportunity to then draw the last pistol as they're doing this dance of death in the dust of the arena, both melee attacks missing. Evgeny's going to try and get the upper hand pulling his trusty sidearm from its holster, lining it up in almost slow-mo to line a shot up under his chin. And he's going to try and plug him overcharging this last pistol. I believe. Then do it. Come on. Here we go. And it's point-blank range at this point, correct? Yep. Perfect. Shoot him in the eye. Shoot him in the eye. No, not that way, idiot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm glad I didn't go for a cold shot, damn. Oh, that. That is a 91, two-duty risk of failure. That shot goes wild. As, like, as all of your allies shouting down at you actually distracts you briefly, Evgeny. And then instead you were just, you were suddenly smashed at you by the choppa, the aimed choppa swing coming for you. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. All right, that is going to be a hit. Unless you dodge or parry. Uh, let me double-check my... Give it a whirl. It's the same thing regardless. Yeah, it just keeps ticking upwards, treating it as one round of combat. Don't worry about it. It's broken. Move on. I'll fix it later. It's all good. You just have to mainly roll at that time. Yep. All right. Well, Papa needs a new pair of lungs. Fuck. Uh-oh. Oh, I saw that zero. And even with... Shouting from your allies. Evgeny, I apologize. It's not going to be enough. The choppa smashes into you. Ooh. Oh. Doing 12 damage to your chesticle region. You take six damage, Evgeny. This thing is, like, up in your... will you feel the warmth of its breath as it's just blasting its open mouth? It's trying to bite you like the Uruk-hai from Lord of the Rings. It's... It's not looking good. What are you going to do? Come on, you guinea. Gonna try again. We've got our funny chainsword. Is it his time? Or is it not? No, certainly not. Certainly not. remains to be seen come on Evgeny are you planning right now Hawking because I'm not a melee character I did not familiarize myself with all out attack oh no it's okay don't go and read it I want to make a proposition if Thurston will allow it Thurston am I allowed to do wizard shit you can try they can be as resistant as they want internally but externally they're not as affected by physical stuff moved by physical stuff you see it's not the wind that is blowing it's what the wind is blowing I would like to cast mind over matter to I would like to imagine this orc is on a plank board or something and I want to try to undo his balance to either give Evgeny a better chance of shooting him where he's trying to maneuver himself and be like let me stumble him a bit or potentially try to destabilize him to make him prone or even pull the orc's boot and be like nope let me try to do that or something external that doesn't affect the orc itself okay and I assume I can do this in a stealthy like manner where you're like there's no facial expression I just kind of steeple my hands on my staff as I'm twiddling my thumbs but I'm doing psychic shit you can give me a plus 20 stealth check absolutely I don't even know if there's any rules the shading actually rules for cheating I think that's the point of cheating all right I'm looking for a 46 I believe no no no , I saw it on the fucking 20 man well it doesn't matter with the minus 10 hulking anyway yeah that's an 82 with six degrees of failure now you can cast your power I'm going for it don't worry I'm not gonna pull that well actually yep 100% mind over matter we're just going to do this fettered and off it goes okay that's it's a 22 but I did it fettered so it does apparel so thank goodness thank goodness it didn't go for that so I try to do the maneuver deal and I guess like some some lingering glowy stuff happens so you're trying to use this to to impede it right yeah uh depending like the goal is to see if I can make the orc prone uh while you're getting that close range uh because hopefully that won't mess with his shooting it if it's in that range yeah but um or to at least make it easier for Evgeny to shoot him yeah I'll allow you to use this like once in this fashion kind of to trip him up at this point just because of where he is where he's balanced so yeah the orc goes down prone and then Evgeny you can so before you you technically would have gone there Evgeny the orc sort of stumbles after striking you with the choppa that's kind of like a force that hits its its legs and causes it to tumble what are you doing Evgeny is going to attempt he's gonna use a full action to aim and is going to make a called shot on its head okay so couple of things there um so full action to aim means you don't get the bonus until your next turn so I'm assuming you're not doing that oh okay um and a called shot and a called shot at that point um and a called shot and a called shot at that point um and a called shot and a called shot at that point a called shot is a full action so you cannot combine it with a oh I see I understand that so you could for example you could like aim full action um and then like spend your whole turn aiming and then you could called shot next turn and get a plus 20 bonus but also if you do that you get no reactions gotcha I understand or the reaction I should say ruins the aim yeah right with that in mind then I'm gonna make a standard attack because I can't afford to all out attack or charge since he's too close we're just gonna try and cut him down and maybe impose some difficulties okay uh so he is prone at the march let me find out what that'll do for you here I should have a additional addition thing to help with that let me see if I can help you I can apply it I just don't know if it'll take I will get you sir do not worry there you go okay all right all right fuck me no but you do always have the orb if you survive it's still in this pile of shit it's still in this pile of shit his pocket the orc wait wait what uh what do you roll hulky it's a 91 for six degrees of failure hey hulky you you you you bring your weapon down but it just like ends just shy of the orc's head and the orc kind of with a grunt puts both of its arms down and pushes its bulk up staring at you i'm gonna eat you um and then he goes and slashes again at you with the chopper let's not get any kind of aiming bonus oh it's a clean hit it's a clean hit in your head it's a clean hit on your head hulky but you could try to dodge or parry it to protect your noggin um all he can do is dodge because it's just i believe he's fast it's like 10 less if i parry i have so i just thought of something real fucking funny if you lose your head skull two success 3d reason dodge out of the way as this thing almost careens and crushes your skull the orc shout what are you gonna do hulky shut up i'm tired i have lived too many decades to listen to your insipid battle cry come on cut mud oh my god that is fucking horseshit are you oh my god these dice are rigged 95 again the orc the orc says you i don't know what insipid means but i know what chopper means uh and he will retort with the chopper oh oh okay he's gonna miss he's gonna miss okay okay is gonna shout from the edge of the ring get some distance beth i uh uh thurston may i may i may i attempt something i yeah of course use your psychic abilities my psychic ability yeah of course oh no um what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it blah trawww uh in this moment you know you've getting getting more and more and more frustrated more and more and more worked up could i convince you that if he is to reach a certain threshold of rage that he could perhaps benefit from my skull totem what does your skull totem do my skull totem uh i believe it gives him a weapon skill bonus though it might show up bonus, though it might be on the charge, actually. Uh... Oh yeah, you get a plus ten on a charge. Thought it was just a flat plus ten. Never mind. Unless you're, you know, step back and charge. I mean, that works with what Cephas just said. You need to not be in melee, because it's not where you're strongest. Even though these dice rolls are bad, they are also not. Full action disengage to backstep and put some distance between the two of them, and hopefully use this in the next round to set up a shot. Okay, um... So disengage... Let's learn about disengaging here. Disengaging, um... You take a half-move action. What's your half-movement speed? My half-movement speed? Oh, fuck. Let's go. It's gonna be H, uh... Your half-movement speed is five meters. Not very far. So you pull five meters away from this thing. It looks at you as you, like, manage to maneuver around it, staring angrily as it tries to swipe, but isn't quite able because of how you've disengaged. It stares at you. You can tell its short, stubby legs aren't enough for it to normally reach you. So instead, it channels... its brutal charge and rushes you with a charge with... Its charge lets it move six meters. I see. So you manage to, like, sneak out, get away, get in, kind of put some distance between you. It turns, it sees you, bellows, and comes hurling with the choppa at you. All right, the Baron Orc's choppa comes down, but as it does, it looks like it's about to hit your body. Evgeny, it appears you've rolled 27 on the dodge. So you successfully manage to dodge out of the way of this insensate Orc. You've come to realize that your disengaging might only give it opportunities to recharge. So... a new tactic might be required. What are you going to do? The new tactic is the best one I can do, which is to try and stay alive as best I possibly can. And maybe wait it out. Okay. So what are you going to do? Well, right now, as you may have noticed, I have a lot of trouble hitting with a chainsword. Yes, you have rolled a lot of 90s. That does keep happening, and I don't know why. So instead of worrying about the mites and babies, we're going to use Old Reliable, and we're going to overcharge his last pistol and try and blow its head off again. Do it up. And a one and a two at point blank range. Here's the hundred for the overload. Yeah, here it is. I hit one. All right, fair enough. It does succeed with four degrees of success and a 55. I have some news for you, though. You do? The orc can try to dodge. That's true. That's so fucked up. Even on a charge? I mean, I guess that's the second turn, so I guess that makes sense. Yeah. I'll allow it, Thurston. I'll allow it. That's what I thought. It's going to do a dodge, and we'll see what happens. Who knows? It might not even do well. But you see, Thurston. Fails. Yeah. Target fixed. Yeah, yeah. Ignore that. Ignore that. Ignore the numbers on the screen. But yeah, it fails. Okay. Okay. I'm going to try some damage. For a little piddly damage of six, but it should be pen two. Okay. So I will... I need to change this thing. Where are you, my friend? God! I'm sorry to say, Hulki, it just bounces off its armor. Also, you have pen two on that, you said? For overcharge. Okay. It's not applying it. I'll apply it. You do two more wounds to the fin. Yippee. On a scale of one to ten, it looks at about a five now as it's starting to pant heavily and looking down at you. Oh, boy, Evgeny. It's got a choppa with your face on it. Yeah, I know it does. It's coming. Oh. Learn the dodge, Evgeny. Dodge! It's aiming at you. And brings down the choppa. Oh, that's going to be a potential hit. In your right leg. In your right leg, our favorite place. Oh, yeah. Oh, his leg. My leg. Dodge. I'll try to dodge again. Dodge, Evgeny. Dodge, dodge, dodge. Spry little guardsman. Spry little guardsman. Dodge, dodge, dodge. He's fast as fuck. Oh, fuck. No. Oh. Can I attempt to reduce that? No. You have to declare it before. Oh, I didn't know that. The only thing you can do is use infamy. You have to declare it before. That's what I mean. That's incredibly been something. Can I spend infamy for it? Yeah, you have to do that. No, no, no. You have to declare it before. Before the roll. Yeah. Before the roll. Yes. Yeah, that's what the... There's been a thing that's come up a few times with regards to this, unfortunately. And so, in that case, I'm going to say no and apply damage to you, Evgeny. Shit, your leg. Oh. That's fucking awesome. Okay, Evgeny. I'm just going to click this apply damage button as your right leg is the home of the choppa. Ooh. We're going to get into critical damage on you, my friend. Oh, no. So, oh, your flesh is ripped from your leg. Blood gushes. You will take 1d5 agility damage and suffer from blood loss. Oh. I will roll that. Yeah, you have to mainly do it for that one. So, just note, you're only going to take one point of injury. Agility damage. Don't change your score. That is just damage that temporarily is gone and then comes back. Now. Okay. Evgeny, you're also suffering from blood loss. That's good, right? Blood loss is a very, very, very, very, very bad thing. Not that bad. I will read the blood loss effect. It is a critical effect. You now have a 10% chance of dying each round unless you treat it. Oh, shit. It's minus 10 Medicaid test. Oh, my goodness. If you attempt any kind of strenuous activity, such as running away, then the Medicaid test increases and becomes incredibly difficult. Oh. So, Evgeny, it's your go. Your leg has been viciously torn open by this choppa. Blood is pouring out. Blood is pouring down. It's not looking good. The first thing I need you to do in your turn, roll me a D100, and anything from 1 to 10 is your death. Oh, no. I see. Yeah. You've got it, Evgeny. Okay. He's good. You remain conscious and still able to fight. What are you going to do, Evgeny? Come on. I'm going to attempt. 36 for podcast people. Thank you. Thurston, for a free action, I would like to draw my lasgun. It's a half action to ready it. Oh, no. You got quick draw. Yep. Yep. Yep. I'm going to overcharge. Okay. And attempt to shoot this orc. So, firing a non-pistol weapon at this close range. Okay. At this close range. Oh. Does provoke an attack from the orc. Oh. But I think you're still making the right play here. It's a battle of attrition at this point. Yeah. It's a DPS race. We have to try. Okay. I'll take the attack on you. I believe. He gets no aim bonus. It's just a good old standard attack. At point blank range. Okay. All right. All right. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Oh. Oh. Now, your reaction technically. Technically, your reaction does reset at the beginning of your turn, I believe. So, you can attempt to dodge this. You just won't get dodged when he attacks you on his rank. The orc rolled a 34. Yeah. That's like 30 points of success. Will his... Will his attack go off before I do? No. Or I do. Yes. So you got a dodge. But you can still dodge and fire if you make the dodge, so. If you don't make the dodge, you get hit. Yeah. Well, I know that much, Erntil. I know, but that also means you can't shoot. Motherfucker! Well... My dice are fucking weighted, I swear on the gods. You wanna tell the audience what you rolled? It was 80. Yeah, I rolled an 80. Oh, the dark gods. Ooh. So, Hulky, I'm gonna narrate what happens here. Then we're gonna talk. I'm gonna invite you into my office. Oh. Okay. So, your chest skin is ripped away, revealing red and a rune of muscle. Oh. Give me a challenging toughness test. Just plus zero toughness test. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Hulky, come into my office. Sure, buddy. That's a 54, three degrees of failure. So, on a failure, you die. Now, the dark gods in this setting are not... are generous beings. Hulky Crow, you, you, you, my friend, you. You can choose to decrease your infinite... infamy permanently by 10 plus 1d10. And if you do, you will be incapacitated for any combat scenes or future combat scenes in this session. You will survive. That is your, your extra life that you can now spend to survive, what will otherwise just be the death of your character. Well, obviously, Thurston, of the options that are put before me, I think the one that makes the most sense... is to kill this pathetic Meow Meow and send his soul screaming to the thirsting gods beyond. No! Really? You can't do that to him. No, of course not. I have to have something... I have to keep this little Meow Meow in the game to disappoint you another day. Roll me a d10. Roll me a d10 plus 10. How hype would it be, though, with one wound, you kill the orc, though? Oh, yeah, how... you could also opt to be... That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be... That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be... That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be... That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be... That is the fucking devil talking, because I don't have enough infamy to survive that. There's the 8 plus 1 d10 that lets him survive with one wound and keep fighting. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you make it and kill him. No buggy way! I'll do it. The value proposition of that bet is you have a slim chance of killing this thing you have dealt almost no damage to. I'll give you a hundred bucks, but if you lose, I... nothing. Yeah. Literally nothing. You get nothing. All right. 1d10 plus 10? 1d10 plus 10. I almost want to see if I would succeed on the roll if I survived one wound. It's gonna happen regardless. Roll it. Excellent. Oh. Why'd you roll? I rolled an 18, so I'm nearly drained of infamy. What is your infamy score at? 23, so it's going to go down to 5. But don't worry, Hulki, where the capricious gods of chaos, you know, taketh away, they also giveth. Roll me a d10. It's a 4. You gain 4 corruption points. Wow. Yay! Hooray! Thank you, Thurston. Wait, that could be enough to send him over a threshold. It doesn't. It doesn't. I checked. I checked. Yeah, he's only a 7, so. Darn. Aww. Hey, um. So he's incapacitated, right, at this point? So at this point, what happens is, like, the crowd is losing their minds. Like, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs. That one guy who's, like, got the green, like, wah belly, he's just, like, paddling it. Like, he's... They're so happy. Speaker, do you want to do your thing? Can I get that orc teleported into the void of space? How? I don't know what's going on. Unless I can just hear it. I don't know. Speaker. Speaker. All right. Sounds to me like Byzantium has been on the ship. I have to use some GM tools here. Some suggestions you had. Um. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Today's mission. We're going to There it is. Okay. Okay. Okay. teleportarium but instead you send it inside the orc fuck you dude you win against the pc and you still die yeah that's awesome cool i i however however because byzant is doing this i mean like there has to be some slight risk involved in this right like you can't just be like you killed me please don't teleport a wealthy gun inside my torso oh that would be that would be a great way to become a mutilator rules is written rules is written hulky for the rest of the session i cannot kill you that's true that is true that is true look there's instead for things surviving with machine stuff inside of them we're not playing that game again we're not one character like that um speaker yes can you please roll me a d100 okay i would love to roll you a d100 thank you let's find out what fate holds for us that is a 44 definitely doubles okay okay okay okay so so like evgeny you have this chopper that is torn open your sensual flesh blood is gushing out um and then suddenly suddenly there is a spectral gale in the air around you um the orc um is knocked to the ground you are already prone from the strike that you just suffered um and as the orc falls its head kind of comes level with yours and then there's a crack bang as you are covered in viscera and some metal object twisted and deformed beyond any use is embedded itself where the orc is and you are already prone to the orc's head was and the orc falls down dead somehow the gale around you seems to have staunched the wounds the terrible terrible wounds that should have killed you uh and done irreparable damage but you've you've been spared from that um though you can barely move that like really you can only just just hobble under your own power uh if evgeny you'll look on and like be like boy this should be a superstar like a little horror movie like this is more of a horror movie in terms of like food even though he's a screamer but more of a like a totally horror but more of like what the wincing from the pain but shakily steadies himself to one knee barely gets on to both his feet and with a haggard and hateful gaze will rise one of his fists one species in this galaxy and it is man and he'll collapse in the audience are uncomfortable are sitting up there in the top row like fuck this guy i've never i can't believe i put my money on him there's like a sloth there's like one there's like one crud that's like what the fuck dude fucking reactionary there's like there's like three votan who are like that's a grudging you know what's up erin uh i was gonna say cephas leans over to lyphos and he mutters very lowly to him my foes yes i'll let you take credit for zeke conjuring that melter gun in the orc's head if you'll let nurgle take credit for him not dying i'll put it on the scoreboard good i assume lucitrix keeps the scoreboard she is she's like writing something it's fine yeah like also after that like i want there's an image in my head of like lyphos and bethiel kind of like shaking like grabbing you're like yeah yeah our boy did it like oh wait it's you yeah you yeah exactly don't touch me disgusting but our boy did it yeah cephas is looking on i'm really not sure what happened i'm really really unimpressed because it's very clear that he did not do that yeah by santi i have to ask back on the ship are you then just teleporting yourself back over yeah i suppose it saved me the walk yeah i'll teleport myself next to um lythos uh it's streaming just in time for the teleporter operator to tell me oh wait there was actually a problem with the and then give me a roll me a d100 yeah i like how you were risking an entire pathway through the warp just for a little bit of convenience where you'll have the slight chance to explode inside me not intended that's how slanesh do you live on the edge yolo as they say true as the score keeping there's like a concussive bang and then you know a tiny coin in a glare as Byzantium appears everyone within like 15 meters suddenly has all their breath leached out of them for a moment becomes short of breath including Byzantium as Byzantium appears I have no breath I'm sort of sand yeah the egg at thin hours is it just me it's a bit tighter but where were you oh well I was busy helping to make sure that our dearest Yevgeny would get access to a melting gun which no doubt he used to achieve victory isn't that right and then he holds up his hand to shush him shushing him shushing him pointing in the arena pointing in the arena oh wait before I say any of that oh yeah thank you that's right that's right yeah look look oh motherfucker oh of course okay so scene plays out as normal and Cephas again holding his hand up like wait and he points into the arena at the melting gun headed orc not so loud not so loud ah wow that's funny isn't it a little bit somebody needs to go get him uh Bethael is going to vault over the side I'm making a little check uh before Bethael Bethael you vault over but like before then Hans has rushed into the arena sir sir get up sir I can't lose another one you're my son now I need to kill you you oh like I said I can go I'm gonna kill you I can kill you and now it's like that's the end of the game I don't know what's the point of all this you're gonna play only one you know look at that I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I don't know what the fuck are you doing I'm gonna kill you we're gonna kill you argh like a tank you're not fighting somebody's interested in fighting we're gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you you know I was like That's true. Hans, you're part of the unit now. Can you help your commanding officer to his feet? I think I would like a drink. No, sir, my commanding officer has to stand on his own, sir. I won't be following no bitches. He hauls his handbook of ruse. That's true. You're goddamn right. He's like, he's on issue to work. Is my sir gonna fucking die? He takes the MacGyver gem. Thanks, gem. Thanks, gem. I've taken that gem back from that fucking Ogryn. Joe Calrana said the same thing. Yeah, exactly. Go watch the Wrath of Glory one. Yeah, go watch Wrath of Glory. Yeah, go watch Wrath of Glory. Evgeny will get to his two feet. He'll inhale through his nose. He'll take some of the blood that's on him. He'll reach up with his other hand, grab hands by his collar. I'm assuming he's wearing, like, carapace armor. Or is he just tits out? He's got, like, a shirt. You got your chest shredded off. Yeah. Well, not me, the Ogryn. Oh, him. He's got some light armor, but not, like, maybe flak. He's got a five-up save. Cool. That's cool. So Evgeny is gonna take it with his one hand and hopefully, with the semblance of strength, pull on it just sharp enough to catch the Ogryn off guard. Just pull him down a little bit to his eye level. Yes, sir? Your commanding officer is no bitch. That's right, sir. Come on, now. We've got to get you out of here for the next fight. Evgeny's gonna put his... The herald master wants to clean the arena. Your friend's gonna fight. Evgeny's gonna attack his... blood-covered hand in a handprint on his chest. You're one of us now. Now please get me the fuck out of here. I need to throw up. Right away, sir. Good boy. And Evgeny will start hobbling out of the arena. Look, I'm... Look, even... You know what? Like, just for that little... I'll give you one infamy back for that. We'll start you on the train back up. Beautiful. You'll be back before you know it. Bethael, you're probably... like, standing there like, what the fuck just happened? Has the Ogryn and Evgeny have this moment as you hop down? Like, but then you see Evgeny put the bloody hand on the Ogryn. Well, I'm not sure what just happened, but he claps him hard on the back. That was something. The Ogryn turns to look at you. You need to get out of here, too. Your skeleton friend is gonna come in and do the next fight. I'd like to... Life Force. I'd like to imagine Life Force is talking to Cephas, like, what are... Yeah. Like, but actually, why do you use heads for grenades? Because they're good for festering the diseases. It's a solid cavity. There's very few in the human body that are calcified like the skull. Oh, very... You would know that. Very interesting. And then he hears that and he's like, what? And Bethael will say that at the same time. Cephas turns to look as well. What do you mean, him? The sorcerer? The sorcerer? And at that exact moment as the overstroke, yes, from behind you, like, Life Force and Cephas, the Harrow Master just appears from the shadows. He does it obviously. Ah, fuck! Just come to our attention that you seek an asset on this station. The Demogorg. The Seer. We will allow it, but you must go to the arena for the next fight. What? Sorry, I'm making a little note here. Life Force kind of goes, he's like, well, if it'll guarantee your path forward, I, Life Force the Great, can take on any challenge you throw against me. I doubt you have anything that will be able to stand against my power. The Ogryn will see you once he's back up. Go to the lift. He looks at his companions and go like, take notes. Does it be over very quickly? Well, I do believe that. Life Force will strut his way over, you know, making his cape float. Would you like a grenade, brother? No, thank you. Thank you, Sephis. I do believe my mights will be enough to take care of whatever they have in store. Why does nobody want the grenades? Because they're fucking he- Sorry, that's not a character. Yucky. They're kind of yucky. Yeah, but they deal poison damage. Yes, with the severed heads. Severed heads. Life Force rules. Hey, the life force is going. Okay, so as Life Force, you depart, someone else emerges from the shadows by the Harrowmaster. It's a, it's a huge, like, immortal-sized woman, though her body is festooned with, with different, like, profaned purity parchments, a shoulder pad bearing the octet spikes emerging from metal plates, but most notable is the immense octet ocular that covers the entirety of her eyes, showing only a slight bit of her face. And she comes out and, like, this almost, like, glaring eye, like a cat's eye inside the octet circle at the center of the octet, moves around kind of viscously, expanding and contracting in size before focusing on Cephas. Greetings. Greetings. You seek my services. Ah, I do not. Life Force does. The marine with the skull for a head? Yes, I am aware. I will soon witness amusement through his struggle. Very well. You may take a seat next to my attendant and watch with us. Acceptable. You are a follower of the Plague God. That I am. And you are... unaligned. I am Tatriath. Yes, I am unaligned. I serve the primordial Annihilator in its whole, though I am quite content to dealing with those who devote themselves in the path of a single patron. Well, that is good, for there are many aboard our ship. Excellent. I look forward to guiding your ship through the shoals of the Immaterium to Dahab. Let us see if my brother survives first. It matters not if he survives. I shall do it regardless, for that is my destiny. This battle is only for my amusement. You see, I enjoy the skeins of time and fate. I enjoy replaying them. Very well. The nest is ordained. We'll see how it goes. The eye, like, flits over to you, by the way. You serve the Prince and Princess of Pleasure. Ah, that is correct. You make hedonistic use of the Immaterium as displayed by your recent travel here. Impressive. I suspect you will die in short order, but I would like to know you before that occurs. Well, there's a running bet on to when I'm going to die, but I assure you, I won't be going out for some time. Four years, three months, two hours. Oh! Oh, you're on. Acceptable. I'm excited to see if I die. I'm gonna mark that down in my, uh, Auspex, uh, supposed death date. Yeah. And I'm gonna have it countered. Just, like, he's ticking there in the top corner. Yep. Yep. Every time an hour passes, I'm gonna take a look, and I'm gonna go like, and then I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna do an X3. And you are a servant of the Blood God. Huh? Uh, Bethael at this point is probably, like, carried Yevgeny, like, football style. Yes. Uh, back up to the stands. You care for this mortal. It is good. This mortal is important. I get the sense. He is growing. He's going to, like, gently set Yevgeny down in the, uh, chaos bleachers or whatever. You will enjoy what is about to happen. I am a servant of the Blood God. Who is Lyphos fighting? And why will I enjoy it? Watch. And, like, the eye, the immense sort of, like, Sauron-esque eye in the octet turns towards the arena as, Lyphos, you step out across the same bridge that Yevgeny did, coming by the blood spatter on the floor of Yevgeny's vital fluids sprayed around. Arms are up. WWE entrance. Doing psychic shit to make, like, fireworks and stuff. What's his entrance music? Oh, goddamn. Don't ask me that shit. I don't fucking know. Sorry. I don't know shit. I'm not a music guy. No, no. Don't stop. Believe. Yeah. The wheelchair. That's terrible entrance music. Oh, my God. Spooky scary skeletons. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Tell me in the comments down below what his intro music should be. He basically comes in, just making a big spectacle, going, like, Bring it on. There's nothing you have that'll, that'll even last you forever. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That won't even last against me. Hey, Xuron? Yes. Read the quote. Let me move this so our lovely audience can see it. You are a Sword in the wrong hands, my brother. You have severed an innocent neck and it will plague you forever. Magnus... From Magnus the Red. Recorded captions of the Battle of Prospero. And, With that, the first thing you notice is the snarling, then the s- the- the- the tread, some kind of ceramite-enhanced boots teamed with a growl, and emerging is- is not a man, not even a transhuman, though it has the same bulk, some kind of man-beast, but recognizable on its tattered bits of ceramite armor are the insignias and heraldry of the legion known as the space wolves... The 6th Legion.... Kill Bill music starts playing BWEE- Lifeboats it just is like no My friend No, you're good. You're good I rolled a nine for my initiative Good The wolf sees you This hulking figure He doesn't even have weapons beyond claws that have like mutated out tearing, rending weapons He spends his entire action like going into a hunch and snarling. F.I.L. you've seen this before. You know what this is This is a frenzy. Lifos you're go Oh goody Oh goody goody gumdrops Oh we get to fight a wolf then. Yippee I'm fucked I believe in you Well luckily we already figured out you only have to lose 10 plus d10 for me if you die Yeah yeah For every one of these fights we lose them but then a meltegun just emerges Like by Zanty just like hits the vox mead Uh Carcass we require a meltegun Can we get another one? Load the next meltegun We just teleport melteguns into other ships That's our demo Another one That's your tactic Engineer team Fortress 2 teleprank trap I've been doing nothing but teleporting melteguns for the past 48 hours My whole life is teleporting melteguns My father spent his life teleporting melteguns Miles O'Brien Teleports a meltegun Lifos my friend you're up So we're fine as long as nobody attempted to teleport melteguns As Lifos is staring Staring at this wolfen All the memories of Prospero come back Like from all of his memories of when he had skin and was teaching people of scholarly ways and to look at the stars and be proud of what we have accomplished You know with his robes and dark skin just walking through the aisles and things and then it just flashes into more fire as he's in his armor and stuff and the pods are dropping and him just surviving what he can against the onslaught of space wolves and then flashing more and more and then he's lost his skin and he fights more of the space wolves and more and more and more and he gets like NOT AGAIN WITNESS YOUR OWN DOOM He's gonna cast doom bolt full on Just Let's go And cast it I rolled a 55 That is 5 degrees of success So it's gonna push in so Immediately we'll roll perils and stuff Oh yeah of course We're in it to win it Oh of course I rolled one of the extra damage stuff But wait wait wait Cause the degree of success I can change that one to a 5 Alright Still not great But it does have pin 8 cause it's doom bolt So that works out Let's do the psyker phenomena first Cause that's gonna matter The theories The psyker is assailed by unseen hordes Exactly what's happening The hordes He slams to the ground And suffers 1d5 wounds and damage Ignoring armor but not toughness I tank that And he must test against fear Fear Yes That's thematic That's thematic That's so thematic Holy crap That's so perfect That is excellent with his space bull PTSD So I am For fear test it's just willpower right Yeah But since it's fear 2 It's gonna be at minus 10 Because So normally If it was fear 2 it'd be minus 20 But because we're playing like a black crusade game You shave off the first minus 10 So it's gonna be a willpower minus 10 You got it That is a Oh no That's a 95 He's got that That PTSD is real strong It's working out man Every session I wanna point out by the way There was no fear I was doing this time This is all self inflicted wounds I was like okay we've done the fear game I don't need to do it this session And Zora's just like fuck that It's not a chaos odyssey game It's not a chaos odyssey session Unless someone's making a fear test True Hey look I'm willing to risk it for the biscuits With the psychic rolls I'm having a great time It's fair Don't worry So give me Since that's 5 degrees Rule me 1d100 plus 50 Sure thing sure thing 100 plus 50 That is going to be A total of 110 Thurston Huh What uh ohs do I have Okay The character faints And remains unconscious for 1d5 Oh no Oh no I have a 1d5 right here Let's see what this does One Oh there we go There we go So you're only going to be unconscious You fall unconscious for one round You're going to suffer a minus 10 penalty And I'll test future That gives enough time for this thing To like rush up to you Also take your d5 damage Don't forget that I mean my toughness tanks it So It's just like Oh not toughness bonus That's right That's right Yeah yeah yeah You're good You're good You're good Cool Uh this thing is rushing towards you It rushes by you And like is looming above you Lifos with claws ready Um Then you're unconscious Can Can it roll for confusion Because it doesn't see Anything Just a skeleton Oh my god By the way First thing I'm going to go I'm going to go I'm going to go By the way First thing Can you actually damage it With the doom bolt Because I fainted before I think I don't get to damage it No no no It still happens It still happens But I need Zorn Zorn I need you to I got you I got you boss There you go Okay cool Uh So Yeah so basically Uh 10 roll damage 8 pin Um Yeah Just gets in there Gets to do 2 damage to him Oh cool He roars He gets over you Before you regain consciousness Lifos What are you going to do When you regain consciousness Um This thing is Starly above you He's going to be in melee now Right He is He's right above you In melee Yup I have a plasma pistol I'm over I'm going to basically Come out from a consciousness Like bring that thing Right up to his stomach Plasma And go like And go like This is for It's like It's like Now it's time for you to burn Just pretty much Overcharge the plasma pistol Yeah In his stomach Fuck yeah Remember Tizka Yeah okay That That That conjures an image Of something very specific In my head Of a guy Clutching his backside Saying Oh my anus Someone help me Someone help me Someone comes over to him He pulls out a gun And says Big Tony says hello And shoots him in the head Yeah Alright Big Magnus says hello Uh So I am Um He's on top of me Obviously standing up Would be half and Well no this takes the action So Yeah get plus twenty Nothing else Okay cool We're rolling Uh Forty-four That's gonna be Very nice Six degrees of success And that Cause he's hulking Gotta get plus ten He can't dodge it Yep He cannot dodge it He's friends with you And Basically did all of that So Hell yeah brother Let's go and do some damage That's gonna be Ooh A seven eight and a thing Good good That's gonna be a total of Twenty-two damage I didn't get anything extra So Hell yeah Should we go ahead and play Buy it for me Absolutely Yeah I wanna make sure you're good with that That's gonna be Ooh Basically roll damage Gonna be twenty-two Ten points of penetration There's Overcharging Normally it's eight And then it goes down Yeah To his toughest bonus of eight Final damage Fourteen Bam Right in his stomach Let's go So It is It is Incredibly Ooh Like this This thing's chest The teeth The eyes These Like lupine yellow eyes Staring down It seems almost like being Inured to the pain And Like It Like In this guttural Gothic Just Just lets out Veatch And Um It tries to tear at you Lyphos With its Terrifying claws Ah good thing We We You You You Well good thing You didn't equip it with a Either a thunder hammer And a thunder shield And or a frost axe Oh No No It is Bad We're going to Hamber Swift attack you So We'll see how This goes Swaft Oh That's a good roll On him Uh oh So that's five degrees of success So he is going to tear into you Three separate times Yup Your body Your right arm up to your head. The claws are just tearing into you. You can attempt to dodge or parry. I will do two things. I have a refractor shield. So with that, how would that integrate with dodging and refractor thingy? Okay, so that is a whole thing that happens here, and I'm glad you have it, because it is definitely a piece of equipment that in this game, force fields are interesting. Okay, so a couple of things with force fields. Let me pull them up here. So anytime you have a field weapon, when you are attacked, you roll a D100, and if it's equal to or less than the value of the field, so in this case you have a refractor field, your protection rating is, so roll a D100 for it. Sure thing. I think I have it. I do not. I think it's the other thing. I had a whole dango dang thing for it. Actually, I think it's on. Oh, it's on the other thing when it does for damage. That's where I put the card on. Let me, you'll just roll damage for it, and then I'll have a button there for it to make it easier for you. Sure. Because if it doesn't happen, I wouldn't be taking it all anyway. Well, I think what happens is, is because it's attacking you three separate times with its degrees of success. They're going to have to roll the field for each hit. Yes. I have the button for those, so that should do it. Okay. So I'll do damage if it works. Right. We'll see. I think it will. If it doesn't, we get it figured out. Okay. He has zealous hatred and stuff. The first one is zealous hatred, which is not good for you. Yeah, that blows. I'm going to die. Oh, that's brutal. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Okay. So now I think you try your force field here. Absolutely. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. I believe. I believe. Mario. Kill his ass. There we go. Failed. I rolled a 74 on it. Well, damn. That's on one. It doesn't work. It doesn't work for the other one. It's okay. Do a hundred. Okay. I'm going to. Yeah. For the second one. Yes, that will succeed. That's a five. The second one. Yeah. So that's good. You want low. Like you want under 30. So that one and then the last one. Okay. 95. Only one. I'm going to apply damage. And I think one sec. Actually, what I'm going to do is I'm going to just because you dodged the zero on. I'm just zeroing out the damage on the second attack with this. Okay. So that should just mean you don't take it. You don't take anything. I made change. And then I will apply damage and see what happens. Critical on the head. Well. No, that shouldn't. No. This is weird. It's doing, like, double stuff here. One sec. Why is it 17 damage? Let's do it manually. It's messing up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So the first. The first hit is going to be to your right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're going to hit your body for 24 with four. So on your body, you have a total of 15. So it's going to go down to 11. So you're going to take 13 wounds just from that first hit on your body. So it's going to take you down to set. Thank you. I hate doing math in public. Thank you. You're good. So then after the second, then the second one, your force field absorbs. There's a flash of light. Then that happens there. And then. Then. And then the third hit hits you in the head. This does 16 points of damage with four pens. So the effective total here is 20. So 20 versus your 15. You're going to take five more wounds. Still up, baby. Hell yeah. Two wounds left. Now, you did take a zealous hatred. Yes. So that was to your body. That was from the first hit. This is a rending. So what that means is we do go to the crit table, because that's what zealous hatred does. Yeah. And that crit's for that zealous hatred on the head, right? For the crit for the head or body. No, no, no. It's only for the body, because the zealous hatred was on the first attack, which hit your body. And that zealous hatred. So the way zealous hatred works is you only roll like a D5 and apply that critical effect. So this is rending claws to your body, but it is the max you could get. So, oh, wow. You. A torrent of blood spills from deep cuts on you. I'm going to say it's sand in this case. No, my dust. Creatures who attempt to move through this will need to make a agility test. And you suffer 1d10 damage and we'll call it sand loss, which means you have a 5% chance at the start of every one of your turns to die. Excellent. All right. That's it's go. Do I take the 1d damage now? Yeah, 1d10 toughness damage. It's not permanent. So just make sure to mark it separately, not on the sheet. Will do. Because it'll mess up your thing. Absolutely. That is a six. I have taken six of that. So remember that. Let me. Six. Tough. Damage. So I have my tablet here for notes here. Excellent. All right. Six times of his damage on that. Ouchies. And I believe, is that all of his go? That is all of his go. At the beginning of your turn, roll me a D100, please. All right. Let's see if I just with it. Almost. Close. That's 12. That's 12. That's 12. You can act. All my dust almost leaked. Uh-oh. Uh-huh. All right. So now it's my turn. You have to do four wounds. Kill his ass. I can't do the plasma gun again. You've got one turn to recharge it. Because it's charging. Yeah. You have to hope he misses on his attack next turn. You're on your butt. Or I can do. Or you could Doom Bolt. That's what I'm thinking. You could Doom Bolt. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. Or I can do. That's what I'm thinking. He could Doom Bolt. That's what I'm thinking. He could explode. Maybe the perils makes me teleport somewhere. I don't know. I cast my most powerful spell of all. Die. In my refactor field. Might carry the way. It's my random four up in vault. I got to trust in the four, baby. Okay. That's what I'm going to do. Do it. Do it. As he calls me a witch. This is where you actually get the results of everyone. Everyone gets, like, a million chaos furies, and the whole room is filled with bats. Yay. Okay, yeah, yeah, he called you a witch. What are you doing? He's teared, like, tore into you. Your refractor field popped off a little bit of it, but that's it. So he calls me a witch, and I go, like, it's like, die, monster! Murderer! And then he will cast Doombolt upon him. Full push. All the way up. On the second rating. 44! If it wasn't perils-ing before, it was perils-ing now. Super perils, 64. Wait, roll twice and apply one or both results. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah, this is the mega perils now, because I rolled a double on the guaranteed. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no, you want to do the perils twice. Do you want to do the damage first, or do you want to do the extra perils? No, no, you do the perils first, because the perils can impact the damage. Okay. All right, so the perils... Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I kind of just want to re-roll. Well, you get to roll a second time, remember? You get to roll a second one, because you do have another one. And it's up to Thurston to pick it. Yep. I don't have the thing. Just roll me a D100. Just roll me a D100. I got the table up right. Thank you so much. I got it right up in front of me. Roll again. Roll again. So that plus 10. Again? Yeah, now we're going on the big table. That is a one. Okay. A one. Oh, okay. Can I read it? I would love to read it. Tell me what page it is. Is that plus 10 or not? One sec. I'll allow that to be up to you. Whatever you think is funny. Okay, one sec. Yeah, let me check here. What page is it? If you don't mind, because I would love to read it. It's going to be on page 211. Thank you, sir. I'm going to ask you to roll me a D100 one more time for some. Absolutely. Here is another D100 as I go find the page on my tablet, which it takes forever to do. The D100 was a 43, Thurston. Yeah. Okay. All right. I am seeing it now. Oh, okay. Interesting. Okay. So I basically made you roll that so I could pick from two options here, which I'm just double checking which one's kind of worse on the chart and more funny on the chart or more narrative. I'm going to go with Warp Whispers. Roll me 4D10 to determine the radius. Everyone within 4D10 meters. You roll more than 20. It'll affect your allies. I rolled a total of 15. Everyone. All of your allies are out of the thing. So this will be you and the Wolfen. Absolutely. You, including the psycher, make a hard so minus 20 willpower test. You got it. Willpower test. I got a 47 as a success. Cool. So he is. This guy takes willpower damage from from this. I'm just going to D10 for a reason here. Okay. And he seems like stunned, temporarily stunned by this as like you start hearing Lyphos, these whispers, you're able to keep them back. But they're like, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Kill. Yes. The murderer. You must stop the murderers. They unprovoked, unprovoked, unprovoked. And like this thing is staring down at you and like you can guess it's hearing something entirely different and there's this like moment of recognition in its eyes. This stuns for the next turn. But now you can roll me the damage because we haven't even got to the damage yet. Yes. We go ahead and roll the one D10 plus the second rating, which is five. Because plus three from the push. Ah, not as much as I wanted it. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can replace it. It's a success. Yeah, that will replace that. Still not by the damage for me. Fantastic. It's actually going to be okay with the pen. It's going to be okay with the pen. Oh, just only three. I needed one more. But it is stunned. It's stunned. So it spends its entire round listening to these warp whispers staring down at you. There is like a hiss of gaseous expolation as the pistol unleashes the stored up plasma energy. There's a little chime that indicates it's ready to fire again. As if the winds of lovely Prospero were as if flowing through his hair again. As he hears it, he knows it's time, presses the button, overcharges the plasma pistol, puts it right up in his mouth and goes, We did nothing wrong. And I fire. Oh, wait, don't take that one. Didn't do the overcharge one. That one's fake. This is the second one is the real one. There you go. That is a 57 five degree of success. Overcharged rolling damage on the right leg. I guess he struggles against the leg. Zealous hatred. Adding to that 24 with eight pin. Holy shit. He's applied. Good Lord. Applied. He bypasses all the armor. Critical severity to his right leg. So a couple of things. So you do 24 with a pen of ten. So that will for some reason, this severity chart is wrong. I don't know why it's not triggering correctly, but that's fine. You're going to do catastrophic damage to this thing's right leg with an energy blast. So let me pull that up and tell you what happens, because it's going to be a spicy meatball. Energy leg in a terrifying display of power. The leg is immolated and fire consumes the target completely. He dies in a matter of agonizing seconds as the last thing you hear is the howl of a lone wolf staring down briefly. Before the conflagration covers him entirely. And you are sprinkled with the remains. And up in the audience. Up beside Cephas, the demagogue Tatriath whispers something that the augmented humans around can hear, but not poor Evgeny, who is still struggling. It's like a solemn benediction. She just whispers. All is dust. And Evgeny, I'd like you to read the quote I've just put up on screen. The price of chaos is not gold nor glory, nor even the false mercy of an emperor. Chaos demands everything. Thy flesh to be twisted into living scripture, thy mind to be unmade and rewritten in the word of gods. Only when the last drop of thy former self has been spilled upon the altar of the primordial truth, shall the gods look upon thee and declare, thou art mine. And the galaxy itself shall tremble at thy ascension. An excerpt from the Fourth Testament of Zol Anamki. That's what we'll call today's episode, everybody. Thank you very much. Yay! Sink as fuck. That was awesome. Tight. Thank you all so much for listening to this episode of A Chaos Odyssey. Please support us at NarrativeDeclaration.com. And of course, go to Patreon to get all the episodes in advance if you listen to this on YouTube and or podcast. Of course, thank you all so very much. Please follow everybody in their social medias and their projects down in the descriptions below. If you're listening to us on YouTube and always check out the cast on the website itself. Thank you all so very much. Thank you all for being amazing players. Thurston. You did a great job today. Great job, players. And see you guys next time. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Have a good one, Dark City.