Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Samuel White | The Christian Reeve Podcast #168

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Samuel White | The Christian Reeve Podcast #168 · The Christian Reeve Podcast

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Christian re
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podcast. Today's guest is a
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singer-songwriter and content creator all the way from the UK.
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Of course, the no, I said, all the way I guess I'm used to
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saying that at this point is normally my guests are across
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the pond, but he's in the same country as me in the UK is a
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fantastic musician. His name was Samuel, white.
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Welcome to the show. How you doing?
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Hello, I'm good. I'm good.
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Yeah, I'm all the way. All the way over in the same
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countries. We're about.
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What about sea-based and do you know, Know a place called
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Bromley. I do.
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Ya like like a in Kent? Pretty much okay, a nice card
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looking glum. Beautiful, beautiful.
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I love add. This is one of the things about
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the UK because I spent quite a few years away from the UK and I
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came back and I realized just how much I missed the
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countryside and stuff like that, not that other countries, don't
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have that, but it's different, you know?
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I mean of course and a yeah, ever.
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Since I came back, I've just kind of Fallen back in love with
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everything that's great about the UK.
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And Yeah, different. But anyway, there's various
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different ways. I could start this show, but I
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think what I want to start with is the most recent thing, which
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obviously, as of touch recording, this will be right
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now. But, you know, this episode will
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be dropping later, so you probably would have done more
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shows by this point. But today is the day after your
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first show in a long while, so you perform.
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Before, haven't you? This isn't like your first
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performance ever. No, no, I never done it before.
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You've never performed Yeah. And that was the first.
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There's the first time, okay? Okay.
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Get back up a couple seconds, right?
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So I checked this out on on Samuels Instagram and I believe
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there was like an audio recording of the live feed.
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I do remember that and listen to it and you were concerned with
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your performance because you felt like, your got shaky
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nerves, which I'll get to in a second, by the way.
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Because last year, I got back on stage as well, myself for a long
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time, first time in a long time. So, I can certainly relate to
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that. But anyway, point is your first
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gig ever since it's only Sensational, I honestly.
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Yeah I really appreciate that. I was I was I was so last night
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because I got the I got the audio recordings back and I was
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like, I was like oh you know, it's just so exciting but I
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genuinely like I've never been so scared to do something.
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Like I could take I can literally taste my heartbeat in
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like every part of my body and I Bird singing that first note,
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because I started with that you make me mad song and the actual
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recording I didn't realize, because I never listen back to
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my songs once they're like out there.
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I just, you know, I didn't realize it's a lot slower than I
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performed it, and when I started it, I immediately was like, wow,
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this is way too quick but I'd started.
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And then I sung that first know and I've never sung.
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I've never started to like a microphone.
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It's hooked up to like a speaker and I was just like, whoa, as I
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He's different, isn't it? It is, it's me, it's weird.
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Like, I mean, I've been performing for many, many years
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and I've kind of come to stopped in more recent years because,
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well, this is me getting back to chasing my dreams, but I used to
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be pursuing the whole music dream.
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So, one day, you never know, maybe I'll release music again.
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Hopefully, fingers crossed anyway.
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What I wanted to say is that I can certainly relate to where
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you're coming from on this and last year, When I came back,
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same thing, a bag of nerves. And I don't know why because I'm
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very used to being on stage. You know, it's one of those
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things, isn't it? Like everyone deals with Stage
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Fright in a different way but it just gets you.
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Yes, some reason and I don't know why.
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I mean, for me that the witness of it, I think was just its
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foreign or it's, you know, it's been a long time since I felt
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that way and years ago when I was in metal bands at that was a
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lot easier to have stage presence and you Out of hide
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behind the music a bit. But when your acoustic you're
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exposed and you're not only because you got be a host as
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well, you got kind of got like talk between songs.
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Yeah. Excuse me and kind of guide it
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because it gets awkward, doesn't it?
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Oh, yeah. Get those first few songs
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through and then you cut you got, you got kind of find your
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style. Yeah, I don't know.
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Yeah, I've always been awkward as a person in general and yeah.
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I felt the same way as you did, even though I've been on stage
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before, you know I think it's the kind of thing that like you
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know like it's a naturally pretty scary situation.
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Like you're putting yourself out in front of like actual human
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beings. You know, this isn't like a
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screen and I think it's I think it's the kind of thing that no
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matter how much you do it. Yeah you might feel a little
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less nervous every time but I think no matter how much you do
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it you're always going to have that like trip a day you know
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you're always going to have that like oh God here we go.
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It's like zero hour, you know. My advice.
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I know this won't work for everyone because I used to
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believe like, never never drink before your set ever.
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Oh, yeah. But if you just look seriously,
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if you just have something small, like a tiny bit of rum,
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tiny bit of risk, just enough to kind of hit your nerves.
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Yeah. It really helps.
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I don't know what it is but it just it can't.
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It comes you, it relaxes you. I guess that's why people drink
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before fly. Yeah, maybe maybe.
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Although I've heard that that's, that can be.
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Yeah, they can get a bit messy. I think maybe not that, but but
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yeah, no, I'm really happy to hear that.
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Your first gig went well maze that the how it sounded and
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yeah, I just want it a little bit exploit.
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So you said like, you know, you felt scared and the moment but
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like what, what was driving that that fear?
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Was it just the moment, was it you worried about?
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Well, they like my music. Will they like me?
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Like, what was going through your head?
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I think it was You know, I think it's a pretty natural thing to
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kind of think that you're like, somehow not as good as other
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people, you know, somehow, you know, and I, you know, I
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listened to the acts beforehand and they were pretty damn good,
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you know. And then I was like, I feel like
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a child compared to these guys, you know, because I do kind of
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think that, like, I sometimes forget that I am 20 because I,
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you know, I I talk to people and some people think I'm like 17
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and I'm like, I'm 20, I like when I shave, they Maybe they do
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and and I just, you sort of feel like you sort of feel like I'm a
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bit out of my league here, whatever.
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But it's all it's an it's like I don't know.
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It's just like I've never I've never really sort of been one to
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be particularly loud. Like, I've never, you know, like
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back in school and stuff. It was very much like, I just, I
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just watch you guys go and do your thing.
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I just watch. And then, you know, to kind of
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think, I think, especially after lockdown just thinking like,
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nah, I gotta, I gotta do this, you know, I want to do this and
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I got to do this, so I did it, you know, so she's like, you do
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it. You know, I actually think
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that's something that makes you very.
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Ian Derek, by the way, I really people think you are younger
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that I thought you were older, to be honest.
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Yeah, I get to be fair, I guess. Like when I, when I fully grow
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out like all my face here and stuff, you've got like, you're
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only 20 and then when I shave it, people like you look about
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13. So I'm like that, I like to stay
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in the middle. See I discovered you on
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Tick-Tock about a year ago and I love your videos and I really
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resonated with them. You know, I I'm a big music fan
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in general anyway. And you know how it is when
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you're a musician. I think you tend to look at
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music slightly differently. I mean I don't necessarily think
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it's it makes a difference but it can ignore.
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Yeah, can change the lens a little bit on how you look at
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it. But anyway, you know, I saw all
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this stuff. I saw that you were a big
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Beatles fan. How can you not be beetles are
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amazing. But you, you're like a real but
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proper Beatles fans like you, you know, like the extent of all
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they're like that catalog and Maybe songs that people don't
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know as well and you know, your big fan of all their solo stuff
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and yeah, but we'll talk about them in detail in a second.
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But what I wanted to kind of touch on is that you kind of
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have this Vibe about you and I sort of joked off camera that,
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you know, it's almost like a long-lost beetle by.
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But you know what, I was looking at your music and and the way
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like even just something like the album art, the way that
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album art looks the frame. You know how You've sought the
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pitches, the choice of lighting everything.
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Like, the way the music sounds is obviously very Beatles, ask
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kind of like the late 60s, early 70s Vibe and It's like you got
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this. Very calm demeanor and I don't
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even know what my question is. Really I think, I think what I
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guess I'm trying to say is that like You offer something a bit
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different. Hmm.
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Something I think that. Is intriguing in today's day and
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age. It's kind of like a mixture of a
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throwback but also just something a bit different,
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something a bit more Soulful. And I think that's why, you
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know, maybe the Beatles are still as successful as they ever
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were because in this day and age music has changed, its become a
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machine and not all music, they can be wrong but everything you
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see in the chart certainly has that Vibe and to be honest with
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you all the best music that I've discovered in the last couple of
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years has been all unsigned artists or people just trying to
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make a name for themselves, you know, and like I listen to all
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your music and I think it's better than half of stuff out
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here in the charts and this and that but that really means a
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lot. It's been it's true though.
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Like it's I don't know what it is.
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I think it's just like Real, I don't know how else to put it.
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You know, it's funny you say that because I you know, I think
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this I think that the world like especially like the musical
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world and stuff, it's just the world in general, I mean, it's
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it's a pretty noisy place, you know, there's always a lot of
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noise going on. And sometimes literally like,
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when I'm going into London and stuff like that, where I live,
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like you were saying before, I actually live sort of like
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Greenbelt area, so it's like half country, half sort of city.
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It's a very odd but it's quiet, you know, and when I go into
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London's, go to UNI and stuff like that.
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It's like sensory overload like in everything, smells everything
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is loud, everything. So you know, bright and it's and
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I think that translates to like the musical world as well.
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You know everything everything has to be if it's not large
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enough heard kind of thing and you know sometimes I just think
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that it's it's nice too. chill out a little bit you know like
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just take a little bit of a moment to take 10 breaths in and
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five pressed out and you know just relax It's interesting.
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You say that actually, when I was growing up, I was really
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into my heavy metal and rock and that was pretty much all I
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listen to. Yeah, I listen to other stuff
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but mostly that it was that and it was all times of the day and
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the I grew up in London. So it was very much like being
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in that he'll skate plus metal plus being angry or you know
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Eddie laughs. And then these days I mean,
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occasionally I'll listen to metal here and they're mostly
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these days unless I'm doing like cardio at the gym.
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I don't really, you know. Yeah.
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I think I better think it's because, you know, you change.
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Like, I'm just not that Angry Anymore.
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To be honest. I mean, it's part of growing up,
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you know, and he said it's a whole load of like, yeah, you
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get the whole hormone thing and but but, you know, you get the,
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I don't know, you know, I'm I'm with my family away.
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Say that I'm just so quiet. They say that like I, you know,
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sometimes they can be in the kitchen just doing stuff and I
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can go in cook, a whole meal, eat it and leave even though
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I've been there, like I just go in the, you know, and but I
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don't know. I it's not something that like I
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try to achieve like I don't, I don't try to achieve something
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like that, but I think it just, you know, if you're sort of more
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inclined to Be a little bit, quieter a little bit more
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relaxed you know I think that sort of permeate somehow you
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know into what you're doing. Are you happy?
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You know spending time alone by yourself?
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Well it's funny because I always I always used to be I used to be
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the kind of guy that I all I would do is I you know so and
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then and then a lockdown and and it you know no shortage of like
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you know it's no surprise. Like it was just honestly the
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worst two years of my life like it you know it's net and you
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know that's one of the reasons why I delete tick tock and You
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know, because I don't I don't think it was any surprise that
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like things weren't going great in, you know, just maybe how I
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looked or, you know, things like that.
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Things were just very kind of a turbulent and I sort of went
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through a little bit of a period of time where I had to had to
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get used to being with other people.
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Again. I you know, I suffered terribly
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from not going outside because of you.
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No fear of getting ill, getting a virus and stuff like that.
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And then, you know, I sort of slowly tried to kill myself.
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Lil Bit out there, and then everything felt, you know, get
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got back to normal. And then and then I decided to
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get ticked off again, when I was kind of like and make music
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again, when I was ready to, you know, when I felt that kind of
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In a calm, you know, because it was like this the waters were a
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bit, you know. First of all, I'm I'm really
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sorry to hear that you went through that.
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I do understand though there was a period for me as well where I
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Felt like is it safe to go outside?
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You know like it. See it's weird thing about now
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but yeah there was a sliver of time with that was entirely kind
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of how it was and remember speaking to friends about it and
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they all kind of just said like that.
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Sooner or later you got go walk out of that door and live and
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taking risks, and it's hard because it's yes, it's more than
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that. It's anxiety.
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It's, you know, pressure, it's and this day.
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This is what I wanted to cover with regards to, to your old
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tic-tock account. Did you feel Like a sense of
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maybe pressure or could expectation because you have a
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cup big following. I remember seeing your videos a
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lot and yet seemingly like a lot of people following and
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resonating with your staff, you know?
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Yeah. Like older fans of The Beatles,
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new fans are The Beatles and you had your own kind of almost like
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created an aesthetic. You know, in a sense, I know you
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mean, I know you mean and and honestly, if I meet, you know,
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if I'm being honest, it's kind of like a That the last few
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months I sort of every day I've been thinking, like, I really
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wish I hadn't of got rid of it. But, you know, I am I tried to
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very much kind of be a person that's like if something happens
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it happens. And you know, we pick ourselves
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up and we move on and we kind of like adapt and try and go
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forward, you know you know because it's it's something that
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you know, it'll never, it's gone, you know, things like that
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are gone, you know, you can't lie.
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That account is gone, you know. So all you can do As you know
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try again it just there. I actually think it was a good
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move. I'll tell explain why.
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Because inevitably I knew when I first saw your stuff that he
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must be a songwriting must must be in like and we're probably
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going to hear this stuff at some point, but you you were just
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having fun before you know, and that's that's what Tick-Tock at
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its heart. Should be about.
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Of course, it's going to be to advertise yourself to promote
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yourself. When I look at what I'm doing
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right now, I actually split up what I do.
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So I've got like three accounts right now, used to all, just be
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one. but that account is now like, Where I posted my serious
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like acting stuff and music stuff podcast, whatever.
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And then I've got a second account where I just muck around
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mmm and part of that is by Design.
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It's to you know actually jump on those Trends reach more
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people potentially leverage that into something else but also
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it's like just use the app for its intended for ya.
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Now with what you were doing before, it's sometimes difficult
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to Successfully leveraged that because let's say that you you
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kept that account open, right? Kept going.
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Now I've seen I've seen both as well.
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I'm not saying that it won't work.
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I've seen people that have those accounts that do a mixture of
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things and people love that and they still support that person.
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But sometimes you have people that are saying like, oh,
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where's the content that I subscribe for this is what I
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want, you know, I don't want to hear this or what you notice a
17:25
significant decrease in views or whatever and it's like, I don't
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know. I mean to me, I feel like It's
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the right move because you know you got clear goal and focus in
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mind. Hmm.
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Right now, and you did the right thing of like taking a self out
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of that situation and taking care of your mental health.
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Not being sucked in to that, that's fear.
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You know, like I've had it sometimes where I just pulled
17:52
myself out a little bit, pull back a little bit, I always
17:54
throw stuff online because it's whatever it doesn't take long to
17:59
make, but it's like, if you need need to take a step back and
18:04
take care of him. It's will have you have to do
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that? Because otherwise, it becomes a
18:07
big problem. And we forget that like this,
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Social Media stuff isn't real life, of course, you know.
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And and you know, look at that time itself, as a very turbulent
18:20
time just in it's sort of nature, you know?
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And I was 18 19. At the time.
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You know you, your brain is going through a lot of things
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you've really developing and then I sort of just I found that
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it's sort of just started to become a thing where I felt I
18:37
had to look good all the time. And I felt that because the, you
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know, the very first video, I posted people, you know, they'd
18:46
say, like, great scene, great thing and then beyond that, it
18:50
was kind of, like, you look really healthy and stuff like
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that. And it was kind of like, it was
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a very kind of like nice and because I, you know, I don't,
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you know, like I said, I don't really We put go out to put not
19:02
not guy but like put myself out there with other people as much
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so you kind of think Hmm. Well I like this, this is nice.
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So then you sort of keep going and in the end it becomes it
19:13
became where it was almost just like an obsession, you know.
19:17
And I just, I felt that in order to take in order to sort of
19:22
restore, the person who I was, I would have to something, would
19:26
have to give, you know, something would have to be
19:28
sacrificed here. And it would Be my integrity and
19:31
me to keep the page going or it would be the page to keep me
19:35
going, you know, kind of thing. What kind of steps did you take
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to look after your mental health.
19:44
So you deleted the app. You're not right?
19:46
Okay. Time time to look after myself.
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Yeah, talk me through a little bit like your process after that
19:53
and what you did to actually pick yourself back up again.
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Yeah, well, you know, I getting over the hurdle of people going
20:01
like oh you know, like you're deleting the account that was so
20:04
big, you know, I delete it like two or three times and
20:06
reactivates, but you know, in the end I because I'm like that
20:08
I post something and then I just Panic and I remove it, you know,
20:11
like I've got so many archived Instagram post because I just
20:14
think this isn't good. But, you know I deleted it and
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the big thing at the time, you know, that that was happening in
20:21
my life was I had to at that time to stop making music.
20:25
I had to stop these things because I was actually, you
20:29
know, I don't think it was a surprise, looking back at my
20:32
Tick-Tock and I struggled to look back.
20:35
But I was I was suffering with a very aggressive.
20:40
Eating disorder at the time. Oh wow, yeah.
20:43
And you know, it was sort of killing me, you know, it was it
20:50
really wasn't great. And I knew that in order to, you
20:53
know, to overcome this, I would have to, I would have to get rid
20:57
of the source that was feeding it and to me, the sauce that was
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feeding it at the time, was the comments and, you know, things
21:03
like that. And I had to take a moment to
21:05
realize, there's a whole lot more to life, you know.
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And I had to, I had to ReDiscover that, you know,
21:09
because I think, Something that I always knew, you know, and
21:13
then I love, I love music, I make music because it's my
21:16
passion, you know, and then tick The Tick, Tock things started to
21:20
become more important than the music.
21:23
And to me, it's completely the other way around, you know.
21:25
And like you said, it's great fun.
21:27
But I think in order to I would say in order to just keep being
21:32
alive, I would have to, I would have had to stop, you know, I
21:35
would have had to take a backseat and say, you know, like
21:38
and you know, it's know it. In the grand scheme of things,
21:41
you know, I'm still, I love my music and I make it and, you
21:45
know, the world won't weep because that that is gone.
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And I think that's the perspective.
21:50
You know, that it's kind of like, you know, big pond thing,
21:53
you know, small fish, big pond, you know, and it's just you pick
21:56
yourself up you start again and all you can do is kind of, like
21:59
I said, take some deep breaths and think life is actually
22:03
pretty cool. If you let it be, you know, kind
22:05
of thing like that. I totally agree.
22:09
I've had a somewhat similar realization and last few months
22:13
and I've shifted accordingly. So I spend a lot more time
22:16
applying for acting roles looking for opportunities, and
22:21
trying to build the dreams that I have elsewhere.
22:24
And that obviously, been spending less time on social
22:28
media and I still try and do it here and there.
22:31
But like, I don't feed into that anxiety.
22:34
So like if I don't post for one day, it's okay.
22:37
If I don't do live streams for a while it's okay.
22:40
Yeah I do it when I have the time to do it and you know I
22:45
focus on my dreams and what I want to do and I've seen that,
22:48
you know, sometimes people will say well you neglecting this
22:53
like excuse me. What about your followers, Etc?
22:58
I'm very grateful to have followers to have people that
23:01
believe in me and Support what I'm doing but you can't neglect
23:07
yourself in favor of other people.
23:10
Yeah, you know, I'm first, you always come first.
23:13
Yeah, I know. And that's why I admire what you
23:15
did by stepping away because I think that You know, you're not
23:20
looking after your mental health.
23:21
Like, I thinking back, I remember you looking very skinny
23:24
in the in certain photos videos. I don't remember thinking much
23:27
of it. I just remember, just kind of,
23:30
yeah, just watching the videos but now, when I look back and I
23:34
see you looking very healthy. Now, there's obviously been some
23:37
change down development and yeah, you know, it's, I just
23:41
thought, you know, that, I remember that.
23:42
I remember the moment that I kind of felt, like, ocean
23:45
something bad here is because, you know, people would say in
23:49
your room, Like, you know, like you look.
23:52
All right, you know and then and then the comments that were once
23:55
lovely started to shift to like oh what's what's wrong here?
24:02
You know and then that was kind of like oh maybe Israel, you
24:05
know. So the opposite problem actually
24:08
I really let myself go during the pandemic and I started going
24:14
back to the gym about two of the first three, free months now
24:18
yeah. Yeah, really proud of that.
24:20
We thank you, pretty heavy Jim. Go myself in so well the weights
24:25
and I, you know, I really I, you know, I respect that respect.
24:29
Thank you, thank you sir. Yeah.
24:31
No. But I saw one of the reasons was
24:34
sometime last year. I actually saw a family and a
24:39
family member had commented on the fact that I'd gained weight
24:44
and they said he put it in a nice way.
24:46
They said, oh, you know, you look fuller.
24:48
You look healthier. But I realized, no, I put on a
24:52
lot of weight. I look terrible.
24:53
There's enough dog. Everyone there's not anything
24:55
wrong with putting on a bit more weight, but like, it was an
24:57
unhealthy amount, but it was, it was it stemmed from a bad sort
25:02
of mental place. So that they know that and - why
25:05
didn't realize that as well, like a failure to look after
25:08
your body. Can wait, everything's
25:12
connected, you know, healthy. It's like why they say healthy
25:15
body healthy, mind healthy, soil.
25:17
You know, it's all, it's all connected and The minute that
25:20
you can start neglecting one thing affects everything else.
25:24
Yes, of course, like it since I've been doing this this gym
25:27
lately. I feel physically but also
25:31
mentally better. Clear is.
25:34
Yeah it's Jim is a sanctuary. It really it really can be and
25:39
you know you get proud of yourself, you see the results.
25:41
And obviously that's nice. But you you do physically and
25:44
mentally feel better after a while you and then and then you
25:48
because you're starting to think more clearly.
25:49
Think you make bad decisions for yourself?
25:51
Yeah you know I think like all these things you know they're a
25:56
good house is kind of built with good tools and I think a cheer
25:58
him and all these things you know they are all just Tools in
26:01
a toolbox to help build the house which is you know your
26:05
body your mind and if they help then you know he'll make the
26:11
most of them. You know, why not?
26:15
Let's talk about the Beatles. Let's go for it.
26:17
Why do you love the Beatles? I Am.
26:23
Why don't? You know?
26:24
They're just, they're just so Inspiring.
26:29
You know, I've always said that someone like, you know, my
26:32
favorite Beatle is Paul McCartney, you know, I don't,
26:37
you know, I don't think that's a surprise I love for.
26:39
I like that. Pool is just a legend to me.
26:42
But someone like John Lennon, you know, gone before my time
26:47
and they almost just seemed like this mythical creature, you
26:52
know, like John Lennon like he was once walking, you know,
26:55
George Harrison. He was once on the Earth and
26:59
It's just like you sometimes I forget that when I'm watching
27:02
The Beatles I'm not watching like a directed movie.
27:04
I'm watching real people that actually existed you know as
27:09
kids and did this thing and it kind of just did the sound shift
27:13
and you know the memories attached with certain songs you
27:16
know in your own life then it's just like it's just a whole kind
27:20
of like I love this. You know I just love this, they
27:23
just fab Fab Saw some sort of documentary or a clip a common
27:30
board, it was from but it was of some guy who managed to find
27:35
where John Lennon lived and this is when he lived with Yoko Ono
27:40
and I think I saw this, right? Yeah for that.
27:44
So for those who don't know, it's like a guy a superfan had
27:48
traveled all the way from America to get to wherever
27:51
Lennon was living in the UK at that time.
27:54
And he was The Lennon was trying to speak to him through songs
28:02
personally, right? And letting was very calm and
28:08
collected and it's a really great insight into just lemon.
28:11
The man, like, not so much. You know, the is other one at
28:14
the end raised like, would you like a cup of tea or something
28:17
like that? He has comes in as like bread
28:18
and soup has, but I think it's a very good example of because I
28:23
always talk about this on on live streams.
28:25
That kind of infuriates me the way celebrities can act and do
28:29
act but we'll get into that. But in this, in this particular
28:32
clip, like Lenin is very kind of, Laidback.
28:38
He's very humble. He says, listen, I didn't write
28:41
those songs for you. I wrote them for x and x reason.
28:46
I'm just, I'm just a man. I'm just a guy.
28:48
I just happened to be a songwriter.
28:50
I'm happy this resonated with you.
28:52
I'm paraphrasing by the way. Yeah, yeah.
28:55
He said, it is something. He said something.
28:57
Like if I write, you know, if I take a shit in the morning, you
28:59
know, it's like and I'm writing a song about it.
29:01
Yeah. But it's true though, isn't it?
29:04
And it's kind of crazy when you think about it, what?
29:06
I mean. That whole fan idea being a
29:11
fanatic. It all kind of did initially
29:13
stem from the Beatles. I mean, yeah.
29:16
I mean they popularized that for sure.
29:19
So you see the old videos, you see like the famous clips of
29:23
them performing in that when they first sort of made it and
29:27
women screaming and all that. And I get it, but it's literally
29:32
like they were just four blokes from Liverpool though and they
29:36
would but I don't know. To be fair, I think the thing
29:41
that always differentiates, maybe people that become iconic
29:47
and then your everyday people is that, I think, I think everyone
29:52
has the ability within them to be iconic to do amazing things.
29:57
But the reason that iconic people become iconic, it's
30:02
because they take a bet on themselves, they gamble on
30:06
themselves and Not afraid to fail now.
30:10
And you know, I think that I think that's very, that's very
30:14
profound. Because I know that back at the
30:17
school, you know, and this isn't this isn't being iconic ready
30:22
for this is just posting videos and putting music out there for
30:25
a teenager at school to post videos of himself.
30:29
Singing Gentle Love Songs, you know?
30:32
And then to walk into the school the next day, but it's kind of
30:35
like you and it's Be similar with the gym you know there's a
30:38
saying that me and my brother used because we go to the gym
30:41
together. You leave your ego at the door
30:44
you know and with something like singing you have to you have to
30:48
realize and making music. You have to say okay you get one
30:52
crack at life that we know of, you know and your young once,
30:57
you know your youthful once and you love this and I'm you're not
31:02
going to let some people stop you from doing this for reasons
31:07
that Not even be true. And it's funny because when you
31:10
do do it and you make a song way down the line.
31:13
You know, there's people I knew years ago that you know, maybe
31:16
when I was doing it, they're they're kind of like you know,
31:18
because I couldn't play the guitar, two years ago.
31:20
I you know, I couldn't really, I didn't sing, I didn't song ride
31:23
into anything and people kind of go like, maybe packing, you
31:29
know, and it's like you kind of think, well you know, I'm gonna
31:32
keep giving it Go and it's those sort of same people, you know
31:35
that eventually sort of say, I really like your new song and
31:39
it's kind of like it kind of like is very like wow.
31:42
You know, that's very you swallow, your pride in a certain
31:47
way, swallow, your ego, you know, and do it because you want
31:52
to do it, you know, do it because it is what you want to
31:54
do in life in this one shot that we got, you know, you can't give
32:00
up on your dreams. I mean, I already gave up my
32:02
dreams once and it was a big regret of mine.
32:04
I mean, Wouldn't take it back in the sense that I think
32:09
everything happens for a reason and you eventually become the
32:13
person you wanted to become and I really do feel that I've
32:15
become that and and still becoming that.
32:17
The journey is not, it's only just begun, but at the same
32:21
time, I know that crushing feeling of when people get into
32:26
your head and you let them and then you stopped, you know,
32:30
because I love, I'd laugh music. I don't know that.
32:34
I want to be a professional musician anymore but I certainly
32:37
do Ooh want to still perform and write music and continue and I
32:41
still do and people always saying, like our Please Release
32:44
music. I would love to and when I get
32:45
the money, I will trust me because it's music is a love of
32:50
mine and it always has been, but my goals and aspirations are
32:54
different now. But the one thing I learned from
32:56
from quitting music was that You can't listen to those people
33:03
that tell you, it's a pipe dream that tell you, you know, or go
33:07
get yourself a real job, you know, like you can't listen to
33:10
those people. You have to do and follow what
33:13
your heart is telling you, that's for sure.
33:16
That's always going to be the right move, you know.
33:18
It's It's awfully funny you know because I remember I have a very
33:26
vivid memory of my first few songs that I made you know we're
33:30
very crude. They were like very very Messy.
33:36
Just, you know that you could, sometimes you could hear the
33:38
metronome sometimes you could hear my mom talking down, you
33:41
know, they will repair it. They were very, very messy and
33:46
you know, I mean, I recorded my first song, the only one from
33:48
that time period, that's still on.
33:50
Spotify is mother to son and I recorded that on Apple.
33:55
The old wired Apple headphones, sitting in my wardrobe because
33:59
it's the only bloody place I can get a bit of peace and quiet,
34:02
you know? And it was like, I saw, you
34:06
know, I I took a lot of songs off of spotify and because of
34:10
reasons like they were a bit messy but also and you know,
34:15
they're better for the archives but also because there was a
34:18
period of time where on Tick Tock.
34:21
I don't know why but I think my page somehow got through to a
34:24
certain audience that just wasn't vibing with it.
34:27
And I got actually I think they're gone now.
34:29
But I got two or three like actual hate Pages set up.
34:33
Yeah, I remember one of the rear Really vividly.
34:35
They just kept spamming this stuff and it's called like
34:37
Samuel white socks or something. You know?
34:39
And I thought you know that 18 you know when you're an 18 year
34:43
old going through the craziest time of your life and you think,
34:47
okay? Like this is panic mode, you
34:49
know, you remove stuff and you're like, that's it but you
34:52
know, those pages look things come.
34:56
You know, everything comes and goes these things are gone.
34:58
Now, those pages are gone. I my music and my being and
35:02
myself and everything is Self the cell every it's a completely
35:07
different organism to that eighteen-year-old, you know,
35:10
back in March of 2020 and obviously something I'm very
35:14
proud of, you know, it's a that's a positive progression,
35:17
but my music now, I always say, I still have that embedded
35:20
feeling where I don't call. Like, I don't call my collection
35:23
of songs albums, I call them collections of songs.
35:26
I don't call my music music, I call him songs, you know,
35:28
because to me music is Studio stuff and albums are like Harry
35:33
Styles. And Sharon and album, you know,
35:36
mine first it's just sitting in my desk, you know?
35:41
This isn't surely. This isn't music right?
35:43
You know, and I think that's still a feeling that I'm very
35:46
much trying to like kick, you know.
35:48
But I think that just shows the effects that when you're growing
35:51
up and your brain is so jelly and being molded and you get
35:55
these sort of prods, you know, they did they can stick around,
35:59
you know. So you just kind of you do have
36:01
to kind of be careful what you say to people and I think that's
36:03
why I always try and operate. In life as in like, would I
36:07
would, I want to hear that about me, you know, you know, I'm
36:11
probably not going to say it, you know, because I totally
36:15
agree with you and I feel like it's more than that as well.
36:17
Like one of the things I started realizing about myself, is that
36:22
I found myself getting too, judgmental.
36:25
Mmm. And I was like, well, you're not
36:28
perfect, you've made mistakes. You've done things wrong, you've
36:32
hurt people, or makes you so perfect, you know.
36:35
And when you start being that kind of honest with yourself
36:38
it's hard but it's incredibly hard not I know still to this
36:42
day I'll post something on my story and the reason why I post
36:45
like 20 stories a day but 16 get deleted is because I posed and
36:50
what I imagine is Sitting on with their phone going like
36:53
like? Well, that's silly boy.
36:55
You know? Like, I just imagine someone
36:57
really laughing at it, and I think it's gone.
37:00
I'll stop you there. I mean, go back to what you were
37:03
saying before you go to do things for you man, you know?
37:05
Yeah. That makes sense for you.
37:07
Like I totally understand where you're coming from, you know.
37:10
Sometimes I wonder like, what did my friends and family?
37:12
Think of all this is because they never really say anything.
37:15
I got the old comment here and there but mostly I get the
37:18
impression that they just think it's all some big Hobby.
37:21
Me and just a bit of nonsense and it hurts me.
37:25
But at the same time you know they're not me, they don't feel
37:29
the same way about these things that I do.
37:32
They don't necessarily get what I'm trying to do or my goals.
37:36
And I'm not only talking my, because my, my friends get it,
37:40
they all support me. But like family and family
37:43
friends and stuff, don't don't necessarily, and it is what it
37:46
is. But my point is, you can't worry
37:49
about what other people think. I just know to do what makes
37:53
sense for you man. Yeah, I mean what's that thing
37:55
that I caused a lot of my tic tocs.
37:57
I like gin oriented like on Tick-Tock and one of them was
38:01
kind of like a little quote. It said something along the
38:03
lines of, you know, you're the only person that knows your
38:08
dreams aspirations, but you let someone who hasn't lived a day
38:11
in your shoes, you know, affect you with a sentence, you know.
38:15
And I think it's the kind of thing that if you go, if you got
38:20
something you want to chase, hell, you know, stand up and
38:23
Chase it and give it a go because Why not?
38:28
You know, that's what I said when I was doing my gear guy.
38:31
Still, they cut and the audio they cut me talking to the
38:34
audience, like, they just recorded the songs but I just, I
38:38
remember, I started off. I was like because I only
38:40
thought well what makes you going to say to them?
38:42
And then I got there and I was like, this is one of mine
38:46
because why not? And then I just started and I
38:49
was like, you can't do that. You got to be a bit more
38:51
engaging, you know. But I was just like, why not?
38:54
You know, it's just like I was saying, It when we were first
38:58
brought up like you know you got to find your own Rhythm, you
39:01
know what works for you. I don't think there is any right
39:03
or wrong. I mean there's there's cliches,
39:06
there's things that they said I don't try not to talk too much
39:09
between songs but then again you know what like it's your gig
39:12
like you've got the opportunity to be up there.
39:15
You're still going to play music like why can't you talk like,
39:18
you know, I don't know. I mean it's It's subjective,
39:22
isn't it? Everyone has a different game.
39:24
I, that's why. That's why I always, I always
39:25
found the Arts, very sort of the most intimidating.
39:29
Thing was activity because I did an art a level at school.
39:34
And I remember, you know, I would give my portfolio to this
39:38
teacher because we had two teachers, I would give it to
39:40
this teacher and she would be like, This Sam.
39:44
This is just incredible. This is a star level stuff.
39:46
I, you know, insane. I'd give it the other teaching
39:49
to be like, okay, we need to go back to the drawing board on
39:52
this. And I think I'd be like, this is
39:55
why it is very difficult to be a teacher of art because there's
40:01
your really, you know, someone loves it, someone hates it,
40:03
someone's always gonna love it and someone's always gonna hate
40:06
it. You know something as well as
40:07
that. Like they always say oh you need
40:10
to learn how to take criticism, right?
40:13
and, Here's the thing about criticism, I don't think people
40:17
always realized the way you deliver that is so important.
40:22
Like I've had plenty of harsh criticism Fair, criticism over
40:28
the years, still get it to this day, but even that, yeah, I'm
40:32
still human being every once in a while, I'll get a comment.
40:35
And it could be from a friend, it could be from a stranger,
40:38
whatever. And I know that it's just trying
40:42
to help me But it still comes across as very blunt and okay.
40:47
I guess what I'm trying to say is like, let's say, I do know
40:50
exactly what you mean, you know, I don't mean but I know there is
40:53
you don't know what I mean. Let's say I was going to comment
40:54
on some of his music and I said Samuel, I like what you've done
40:59
here, although one thing I think would really help make it a
41:04
little bit better or Etc would be.
41:06
If you may be tried this or have you thought about this, right?
41:10
And it's kind of like good news, bad news, good news kind of
41:12
mindset or Just just kind of putting a positive spin on it,
41:16
like not just saying, oh this is total shit.
41:19
And is why I think that, because, and here's the thing
41:22
because other people will say, oh, but I didn't say that, like
41:25
I said, you know, this and I'm trying to help you.
41:27
And it's like, yeah, but the way you frame that is everything, of
41:31
course, some people can take it like brutal and sometimes, hey,
41:35
even I asked but brutal honesty from people like when I need and
41:39
it's important, but yeah, at the same time, Maybe maybe it's
41:43
different with with our because it's personal.
41:46
It's part of you, you know, like there were songs that you've
41:50
written. I've listened to that.
41:52
I really like you can tell. It's like I think there's one
41:58
that you wrote about your granddad.
41:59
Well I want to know. Yeah yeah.
42:01
Yeah and I think it's actually got some voice recordings of him
42:05
on. Yeah the voice the voice mails.
42:08
Yeah and it's like I'd imagine if someone like criticize
42:12
something like It's fair criticism is always, welcome.
42:16
And it's and it's always but like, the way you deliver that
42:19
is everything in my being, these songs are part of you, as part
42:22
of your. So it's almost like they're
42:24
chipping away at your soul. And it's yeah, well it's being
42:28
vain. You're being very, very
42:30
vulnerable, you know, you're because because I think, you
42:33
know, there is a certain especially with mail that, you
42:36
know, males. There's there's a very I went to
42:39
an all-boys school as well. So I have it ingrained in me.
42:41
It's very much like dry your eyes.
42:44
You know, put your collar up and get on with it.
42:46
Kind of thing that and I think going through lockdown
42:49
especially I sort of realized that no, that's not the way you
42:53
don't just pick yourself up, forget it and move on, you know,
42:56
feel it. Listen to listen to what your
42:58
body's telling you, listen, to your emotions, try and calm
43:02
them, you know, try and try. And treat the The problem, you
43:05
know, trying to treat the whole thing instead of a symptom, you
43:08
know, just but I do know what you mean, and it's being very
43:11
vulnerable. And I think that the ability to
43:14
be vulnerable is, you know, and, and vulnerable in a in a way
43:20
that is satis creatively, satisfying, you know, because
43:25
it's, you know, you could turn the microphone on and just start
43:28
crying into it and say, you know, but to be vulnerable in a
43:31
way that is, You know, I've conveyed this message that I
43:36
wanted to convey. I've kept some level of
43:38
composure, you know, and I'm proud of the creative thing that
43:43
had, you know, I'm proud of this in the end of it.
43:46
And it's something that, you know, I think I think that that
43:48
takes, you know, I can I know from experience and I know
43:52
people that have done similar things, in musical circles and
43:55
stuff and I think that takes a serious level of Humility is
44:01
maybe the word, you know, serious level of like we said,
44:03
leave your ego at the door and do it for you, you know.
44:06
I totally agree. I've had friends even recently
44:10
just tell me like, you know, They've said, you know, you need
44:14
to kind of focus on you and being you and make that your
44:17
focus. And, you know, I, I've had a
44:20
tendency to unleash it. Let it all out and stuff.
44:23
And I've realized that's a mistake, like the best way to do
44:25
it is to put it into your art, make it make that something and
44:31
also to confide in friends, whatever.
44:33
You know, it's not, it's not, it's never week to to show your
44:37
emotions, but wasn't it? I think it's important.
44:41
To to manage them as best you can.
44:44
And it's incredibly easier said, than done, you know, like, like,
44:48
you know, just just saying the word, you know, confide in
44:51
someone is something that you say to someone, you know, my mom
44:54
always has a problem. Shared is a problem halved and
44:56
it's like on the surface level, that's great, but actually going
45:01
to someone and saying, you know, that's why, you know, if I now
45:05
looking back, you know, you learn lessons in life and
45:08
they're very important lessons and you're glad you learn them
45:10
and looking In back. If during the last two years, I
45:13
had gone to someone I loved and I had said, look I'm having a
45:16
real tough time here, you know, can you help me out?
45:19
Things could have gone far smoother but you know, it's
45:23
things like you know that now, you know, it's difficult,
45:26
sometimes knowing Who to talk to all, you know if you can you
45:33
know because I've had that situations like that where I've
45:36
confided in people that maybe I've confided in before and for
45:42
whatever reason. It was different when I when I
45:47
when I confided in them, when I really needed it.
45:49
And then I found out, I can't confide in this person anymore
45:52
then there's other there's been other people who I never
45:55
confided in and then one day I did and it was the best thing I
45:57
ever did. But is it is difficult to do and
46:00
it's I think as men it can be tough to show how much.
46:09
I mean I get a lot of comments from from got quite a female
46:14
audience on things like Tick-Tock and stuff and they'll
46:17
often say like it's commendable seeing a man showing emotion and
46:22
you know, I often don't think much about it because I'm just
46:26
like this is just the type of man I am, you know, it's how I
46:30
think. But when I look back at my life
46:32
especially when I was growing up, I had similar experiences to
46:35
yourself where lots of toxic masculinity.
46:38
I was exposed to bullying, you know, even stuff in family and
46:46
family friends and stuff where you couldn't act that way.
46:50
Like if they saw me the way I am now, I'm sure they'd have some
46:55
Choice. Remarks probably not very
46:57
pleasant. And when I was growing up, you
47:01
know, it's difficult, when adults are saying to you, you
47:03
know, this is how you need to be.
47:05
This is how a man needs to be the digital to do and then you
47:08
grow up and you realize, actually, no.
47:11
Yeah, like there's lots of different types of men.
47:13
And, and actually, I think, a lot of what being a man is about
47:17
is, is kind of I think. I think it's up to.
47:31
People to figure out for themselves.
47:34
Yeah, I don't, you know, I don't think that.
47:35
Yeah, I don't think there's one term that can cover a populist,
47:39
you know. Mmm.
47:40
And I know for a fact, you know, met, you know, I think and, you
47:45
know, there's not a lot of there's not the most resources
47:48
out there in terms of mental health help from men, you know,
47:52
in especially, especially for something like an eating
47:54
disorder, you know, it is, you know, it's largely there, you
47:56
know, teenage boys, I just don't think like to admit it, and, but
48:00
I know that when my Brenda did pass away recently.
48:04
I sorry for your loss. Oh, thank you.
48:06
Yeah. Thank you.
48:07
You get a real, you get a real perspective on the people, you
48:10
love. And, and I remember thinking to
48:13
myself walking home from the pub, with my dad because we are
48:16
a little celebration of life thing and I thought, you know, I
48:21
give my mum hugs. I get I tell my mom, I love her,
48:24
you know, I give my mom like you know peck on the cheek or
48:27
something you know and you know I tell my sister I love her.
48:31
Her tell my brother, I love him. And I don't, you know, I really
48:35
when do I ever got up to my dad and say these things.
48:38
So, on the walk back, I basically just, you know, you
48:42
swallow your atoms up. When you say looked at, and I
48:45
bet, you know, you basically could say like I really love you
48:48
man. You know, I, you know, I you
48:50
just great and I gave him, you know, I just sort of said, stop,
48:53
you know, I just gave me a big hug and I was like I value.
48:57
So, you know, I love you, you know, that kind of thing, you
49:00
know. And, and, you know, we might not
49:02
say it again for bloody good. Probably like another eight
49:05
years. But, you know, the thing is, I
49:06
never say that to him and I was thinking, why don't I say that
49:09
to him? Is it because we're just both
49:12
men, you know? And we can't say, I love you,
49:15
man, you know? And so I just thought, you know,
49:18
death gives you a really great perspective.
49:21
And I just thought, you know, I, you know, I I've never been one
49:29
to say to people, what I feel. I've never been able to say, I
49:34
love you. You know, I love you very much,
49:35
you know. And, you know, I have purse.
49:39
I have a very sink, one single sort of big regret in my life
49:43
that was revolved around that. And I just thought, you know, I
49:46
got to say, I got to start saying in this, you know,
49:48
because people can't mind read, you know you got to start.
49:52
So I did. I think you are throwing your
49:57
granddad right there. Yeah.
50:00
Yeah. The the thing was my granddad
50:05
was my best friend, you know. He was, he was like my second
50:10
dad, you know, I grew up with him.
50:13
I'm sure he's some influence on why I dress the way I dress, why
50:16
I listen to what I listen, you know, and he had been in, you
50:20
know, he'd been very ill for a few years and As these things do
50:25
with health, you know in the last sort of week the Domino's
50:28
kind of top when everything happens really quick like that
50:31
and I couldn't I couldn't see him.
50:34
I you know I I couldn't bear myself to see him in that way
50:39
and that Monday night I remember there was a geography social at
50:42
Uni and I thought my whole family were going around to his
50:44
house to sort of like see him. And I said, I can't do this, I
50:48
can't do it. So I went to this crappy little
50:52
geography social and I said to my mom that night Night Tuesday
50:55
night I'm going around. I'm going to say everything I
50:57
need to say because I hadn't seen him for a few weeks before
50:59
that and lo and behold. Tuesday morning, Mom comes down,
51:03
I'm eating cereal. She says, He's gone, you know,
51:09
and I sort of think, you know, you never never said it so that
51:15
I that was why I went to my dad that night and I basically said
51:19
I just love you so much. You know, I have a similar
51:22
experience, it's a bit different.
51:24
I've never spoken about it, but my grandmother and my on my
51:30
dad's side, I never really had a relationship with.
51:34
There were various reasons and they remain private, but When I
51:41
met her for the first time, I was a teenager and I was very
51:45
unpleasant to her and I was only doing so because of what I
51:51
understood about the situation and why she wasn't around and
51:54
stuff. It wasn't me and it wasn't.
51:57
Okay? And she understood and you know,
52:02
other people understood but it just wasn't, okay?
52:04
And I was ashamed of myself years later and I never really
52:08
made an effort to To get to know her get to find out what she was
52:15
like. You know I have an idea of how
52:16
but I never made the effort because I was angry because you
52:20
know, I thought that wasn't fair and you know, she wasn't around
52:25
and did a and then, A couple of years ago.
52:32
I was living abroad and it's funny how things work.
52:37
This is what I this is why I believe there's more work in
52:41
life than we realize. A sitting in this flat in
52:46
Tallinn and Estonia where I was living at the time and I was
52:49
just on my computer and I thought I should message her.
52:54
I should reach out. And I knew that in more recent
52:59
years at that point she'd had health problems, but I didn't
53:02
know to what degree, but I'd that specific moment.
53:06
I hadn't thought about it. And I went to message and then I
53:09
found online through her husband that she had passed away on that
53:16
day. and, I was just blown away by, I was filled with immense
53:29
regret and disappointment in myself.
53:34
And it was just very different to your situation.
53:36
But similar in the sense that, of course, yeah.
53:39
Through death. I understood that life kind of,
53:42
you know, the beauty. Yeah.
53:44
Like sorry for your losses. Well, you know that it's, you
53:49
know, it is what it is. And as I sell, I was never, I
53:52
never had a relationship with her, but I think I just was
53:56
disappointed in myself. And I wish that I had Made the
54:01
effort and gotten to know her. And And that was a regret and
54:05
one thing it did teach me actually, is that you have to
54:09
put the past in the past. Yeah.
54:11
With the people, you love with the people, you care about, no.
54:14
None of us are perfect. We make mistakes.
54:16
We do things that we regret, and that's life.
54:20
And you always have to look at people's overall intentions and
54:26
who they are and what they're trying to do and what they mean
54:28
to you. And make that your focus and
54:33
kind of just give people a chance to make mistakes and and
54:40
again, I'm Takin, you know, yeah.
54:43
And it's like, it's okay to make those mistakes and it's okay to
54:47
to get it wrong. And you can't kind of be judge
54:54
jury and executioner and every single person and I think
54:56
through that particular experience, I learned to A lot
55:01
more understanding and forgiving and nicer to the people that are
55:06
here and and also to myself as well, this expectation of being
55:12
perfect all the time it's unrealistic, you know, we are
55:16
not using you but like everyone is there were stun critic.
55:20
You know you will always judge yourself far harsher than the
55:24
majority of people will judge, you know?
55:26
Yeah we're floored by Nature. That's that's what we are the
55:29
human. Appearances are everything and I
55:31
think that's pretty beautiful. You know, I've always said, you
55:33
know, I've always kind of said, you know, to my sister and stuff
55:37
because she talks to me quite frankly about things were very
55:39
close. And I've always said, how
55:41
perfect is being imperfect, you know?
55:43
Like, isn't it just an incredible thing?
55:45
You know, if everyone was perfect, everyone would be
55:48
clones and everything would be 1984, you know, how perfect is
55:52
it? That we are all just you know
55:56
unique. I like us.
55:58
Well, how sometimes Yeah, there's an old expression that
56:01
Opposites Attract and yeah, I've seen that play sometimes and
56:06
it's beautiful. Sometimes when you see like
56:08
certain people form a relationship and they literally
56:11
form a hole through their floors through the things that they
56:16
lack, they find in the other person than they kind of balance
56:19
each other out and that's really beautiful.
56:22
And a any, it's true. You know, people always say But
56:26
Opposites Attract and whatever, you know, but at the end of the
56:28
day, you know, my personal belief is that, you know, we are
56:35
animals. You know, we are animals aren't
56:37
perfect and, you know, you wouldn't expect any other being
56:42
to function from the moment they wake up to the moment.
56:44
They go to sleep in a robotic like I said, you know, dystopian
56:48
kind of like clean teeth eat breakfast.
56:51
You know, you wouldn't people are going to fall down the
56:53
stairs. People are gonna Bill cereal
56:56
down there new trousers, you know, these things are going to
56:58
happen. So just kind of when it happens,
57:01
go. That happened, you know, she's
57:05
got a big butt move on, you know, it's like we were saying
57:07
earlier, you know, past is the past, it's gone.
57:10
You know, I can't I can't jump back in the time machine.
57:12
I'm not like dog, you know, I can't get back from change it.
57:15
So who's this, imagine that big with some wood?
57:18
And this is just spilling cereal down yourself.
57:21
It just walk up to them. You're like, well, that happened
57:24
that Bloody happen. Look at this.
57:33
Let's briefly talk about what are your goals for your music
57:36
career, what you're aiming to achieve?
57:39
Well I think my you know you like like with things like the
57:43
gym and whatever you set short-term and long-term goals
57:46
and my short term goal is to make a song that I feel totally
57:51
satisfied with. You know I have never made a
57:55
song And listen back to it. And thought you know because
58:00
like you said when you do make music you I can't listen to
58:04
music and appreciating the same way because every time I listen
58:07
to music, Big artists of mine at the moment is Mac.
58:09
DeMarco anytime I list. I love math.
58:14
Sorry, I'm a massive. Massive make the microphone and
58:17
you can totally hear the John Lennon it, right?
58:19
Yes, yes, yes, I said that, so my mom I said, like can't you
58:22
hear Lennon in these sort of ballads and I listen to his
58:26
songs and all I can think, when I listen to this song is a Dan.
58:31
This is really good. Be, I don't think I'll make
58:35
something this. Good and see.
58:36
Okay, what's his drum? Beat?
58:38
How, you know, what? What notes is he using his
58:41
Baseline? There was his chord progression.
58:42
You know what, what effects is a using on his voice?
58:45
You know, because I want to implement them and I want to
58:48
create song because I when I listen to Mac when I listen to
58:51
The Beatles, I am totally satisfied and calm and I'm
58:54
enjoying it. And maybe it's because I am the
58:58
one creating it, but I would love to listen to. of mine, pop
59:02
it in my headphones and think Hmm, I'm proud of this.
59:06
You know, I you know, I'm proud of everything.
59:08
I'm proud of all the songs I make, but I would love to listen
59:10
to One think. Good job.
59:13
You know, like, okay, I get where you're coming from, but I
59:16
really do feel like you you're onto something, I mean with your
59:20
music so far. Like, I mentioned that song that
59:22
you wrote for your grandfather. I think there's some really
59:24
clever interesting and deeply emotional stuff in there.
59:29
And then your, your music right now is it's like, any artist
59:32
when they're first starting, which is you're still figuring
59:36
out. Who am I?
59:37
What am I doing? And there's some really that I
59:39
release that, oh no album. And the thing is this old world,
59:44
the one that just came out was very much me in terms of my
59:48
style, you know, it was like my family always said.
59:50
It's very country in a weird way.
59:52
You know, it's very kind of like folk.
59:54
See it's just sort of like the guitar.
59:57
It's your voice. There's No Effects.
59:59
You know, there's a little, like, box drum beat, and a
1:00:02
baseline, like a bum bum, ba, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, you
1:00:05
know, and then, yes, seven is Beatles is this?
1:00:11
Yeah, I'm like, this is In man, this is like what we would have
1:00:14
heard if they'd stayed together man, so that gives me such a
1:00:18
warm feeling inside, you know. But with something like, oh, no,
1:00:21
the album at that time, that was when I was at my Peak Mac,
1:00:25
DeMarco love. So everything I was doing was
1:00:28
like, okay, we're going to drop the acoustic guitar now, and
1:00:30
we're just going to use since, and we're going to eat and I
1:00:34
would send. I have a collect, I have like
1:00:36
four or five people on WhatsApp, but I basically sent every
1:00:39
single demo makes I've always got about 30.
1:00:42
Demos on the go, like I've got 30 songs on my laptop right now
1:00:46
that I could potentially release but I don't and I send the, I
1:00:50
mean, I know these people so damn much because I said every
1:00:53
day, I send them about 20 voice notes, each one, maybe the basis
1:00:58
point one, decibel higher. And I'm like, did he sound good?
1:01:01
Does it sound like you know? And the thing is, when they
1:01:05
listen to that, a lot of them said we, you know, we really
1:01:07
like your guitar stuff for, you know, we like you're a bit early
1:01:11
stuff, but I was at sort of peak match Level there announced
1:01:13
like, no, no, no. We're gonna Reverb synth and you
1:01:16
know, Distortion and chillwave, you know, but as is everything
1:01:22
in life, everything is a balance of moderation.
1:01:24
So I think to strike a balance between the two of, like,
1:01:28
Ragtime skiffle Band mixed with maybe that kind of chilled, you
1:01:34
know, synth kind of sound, I think that would be a really
1:01:38
beautiful thing to try and incorporate, you know, but like
1:01:41
I said, everyone's tastes are different.
1:01:42
Current. So, If you feel satisfied with
1:01:45
it, you feel satisfied with it. And in that, a beautiful thing,
1:01:48
you know, What's the best question you've ever been asked?
1:01:55
And why. Wow, the best question I've ever
1:02:00
been asked. Probably like when people ask,
1:02:06
like I get a lot of questions by people who maybe follow me,
1:02:10
Instagram, whatever and they say, what is the meaning behind
1:02:13
the song? Because people love, and I love
1:02:16
to know, I love to know what the meaning behind the song is, when
1:02:19
I listened to it, you know, like him watching him Fade Away by
1:02:22
Mac, you know, that kind of like oh it's the father units and
1:02:25
people love to know and I love it.
1:02:26
When people message me and they're like, I love this.
1:02:29
So and so, especially from the older acoustic, you know, the
1:02:31
acoustic stuff and they say, what does it mean?
1:02:33
And I'm like I always say, well you know, what does it mean to
1:02:37
you? But there is a meaning
1:02:39
obviously, but I just sort of say like you know what does it
1:02:42
mean to you? And I just sort of throw it back
1:02:45
there and but I love I love being asked because every you
1:02:49
know, next to me right now, I've got seven or eight note pads and
1:02:52
they're all filled with songs. That means something you know,
1:02:55
like and all the songs on my Spotify, the dear one,
1:02:58
everything they've all got they had a story behind them.
1:03:01
They came from a place but I love it because Cuz I think that
1:03:04
is one of the beautiful things about music is that someone can
1:03:07
listen to a song like watching him fade away and that can
1:03:11
actually be applied to someone in their own life.
1:03:13
It's not just about Mac DeMarcos.
1:03:14
Father, you know, it could be about your father could be about
1:03:18
your dog. It could be about, you know,
1:03:19
could be about anyone in your life because the meaning is
1:03:22
totally unique. You know, after I saw music with
1:03:25
you though this is just making me very inspired right now and
1:03:30
what's the best advice you've ever received.
1:03:33
Best advice I ever received. Well, I credit my branded for
1:03:42
bringing me up in a way that I feel proud of and I, you know,
1:03:46
my granddad was a very, very wise man.
1:03:49
I, you know, I always wanted to, I was 22 aspire to be like him,
1:03:53
you know? Because he was just that great.
1:03:55
And the best advice he ever gave me was apart from, don't have
1:03:59
kids, it's the best. Advice, he gave me was he always
1:04:05
used to say, Sammy you just say you're so happy.
1:04:07
Being yourself, is you, huh? And he used to go, don't ever
1:04:11
stop being you, you know, because I used to come in
1:04:16
dressed in some pretty weird stuff and he give him a chuckle.
1:04:19
We'd make a cup of tea. He'd listen to my music.
1:04:21
We used to watch Family Guy, do with the old movies and he said,
1:04:26
you know, just operate. If I had to summarize it, I
1:04:30
would say operate in this one, you know, summarize what you
1:04:32
said. Operate in this world in a way
1:04:35
that when you go to bed at night when it's just you laying in
1:04:38
bed, yes. You're going to feel some
1:04:40
turbulence. Yes.
1:04:41
You're going to feel unease. You're going to feel discomfort.
1:04:44
You're going to fill all these natural, valid human emotions,
1:04:48
but maybe one day, if you can go to bed and you can thing, You
1:04:53
know what? I'm actually pretty happy,
1:04:54
right? You know, if you can feel, you
1:04:56
know what, I feel the water's feel calm, you know, the stormy
1:04:59
seas feel calm despite you know, because you are the only one
1:05:03
laying in bed. There's well, maybe, you know,
1:05:05
there's no your circle of friends aren't there, you know?
1:05:10
Every all your uni friends, your teachers your, you know,
1:05:14
everyone's not there. It's just you.
1:05:16
And I think so often you go through this life and you talk
1:05:18
to people and you can be easily influenced by someone naturally,
1:05:22
you know. Sponge you take in information,
1:05:25
but when you're on your own there's a real kind of unease
1:05:30
because you think now, I have to focus on my own mind here have
1:05:33
to focus on what I'm thinking. And if and if you know, and I am
1:05:38
not saying I can I think again, it's something easier said than
1:05:40
done. But if you can lay down close
1:05:42
your eyes and think, This is no life, pretty cool.
1:05:47
Then I think, you know, you've really reached a place that
1:05:51
he'll, you know, tip my hat to you.
1:05:53
And I respect you a lot for that because I think it's an
1:05:56
incredible especially in this noisy old world that we live in
1:05:58
a you know, isn't it a beautiful thing too?
1:06:01
I just want a bit of peace every now and then, you know, he
1:06:06
really is a long-lost Bo, isn't it?
1:06:08
It's just weird. It's weird, it's weird.
1:06:14
Actually be like a long-lost child baby.
1:06:18
Maybe a amazing and thank you. What's the biggest life lesson
1:06:26
you've learned so far? Well, that would be from the
1:06:29
last two years, for sure, because all of my growing up has
1:06:32
done in the last two years and my biggest life lesson would be
1:06:36
Obviously it would be to me apart from confidence and stuff
1:06:40
like that. It would be the body that you
1:06:43
possess is Your Vessel through life.
1:06:47
It is what carries you through life. and, There is no one way
1:06:54
that our body can be healthy and a body isn't healthy purely on
1:06:58
how it looks. And looking a certain way is not
1:07:06
everything there is to life, there is so much Beauty tube
1:07:09
life and you know, you know, there's so much.
1:07:12
There's so much value in peace to life and it's just the kind
1:07:15
of thing that if I could go back in time and tell my younger
1:07:18
self, I would say. Calm down.
1:07:22
Relax. You know think about something
1:07:25
else that's a little bit more important, you know?
1:07:26
Yes, it was a very unique time in the world but also, you know,
1:07:31
I would stay that loving, you know, loving who you are at the
1:07:34
end of the day. There's no better thing, you
1:07:39
know? And you can, yes, you can go out
1:07:41
and you can try and be in as many relationships as you want.
1:07:44
But if you don't love yourself, how the hell can you ever expect
1:07:48
to give love to someone else? You can't even give it to
1:07:50
yourself, you know? So if you can give love to
1:07:54
yourself, then I think you really really are, you know, an
1:08:00
incredible human being, you know, because I think it's
1:08:02
something that I really strive for.
1:08:04
I'm not there yet. I don't I think a lot of people
1:08:06
aren't, you know? But And if you can do that, how
1:08:09
I think you can pretty much, you know, do about anything, you
1:08:11
know. Then you're on your way to big
1:08:14
things. So I'm your traffic things you
1:08:17
do, man. Podcast blasted.
1:08:19
We'll see. We'll see.
1:08:20
Thank you so much for a period on the show.
1:08:23
It's been a real pleasure. Having you on the show, do you
1:08:25
have any upcoming projects or final thoughts that you'd like
1:08:27
to share with our listeners? I have some new songs out next
1:08:31
week on the old Spotify music your YouTube, you know, it they
1:08:36
they go out everywhere. And but mainly, you know,
1:08:40
feedback to me is to it's an important thing.
1:08:42
Like we said I love to know where I'm going right?
1:08:44
And he'll you know I kind of love to know I'm going wrong and
1:08:48
the feedback in the comments are always the greatest thing, you
1:08:54
know like this morning I received a very lovely comment
1:08:57
and you know Comments are far and few between, you know,
1:09:01
people would they leave likes and stuff.
1:09:03
But comments are real special thing and I value them greatly,
1:09:06
you know, and I got a lot of love for anyone can listen to
1:09:11
something and find a little bit of meaning in it.
1:09:13
You know, I got a lot of love for that.
1:09:14
So if you can do, if people can keep doing that then, you know,
1:09:18
just fantastic, you know? And that's all I can really say.
1:09:23
Thank you, Anna. It's been a pleasure man.
1:09:26
I've been, yeah, it just loved talking to you getting get into
1:09:32
your mindset. Sharing your story and can't
1:09:36
wait to see what you do next in a blast man.
1:09:39
Same thing with you, man, and to all the listeners of the
1:09:42
Christian Reef podcast. As always, I hope you enjoyed
1:09:44
the show. Be safe, be well, and I'll see
1:09:47
you in the next one.