Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Grow Your Self Awareness and Expand Your Love | a conversation with Your Enneagram Coach

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Grow Your Self Awareness and Expand Your Love | a conversation with Your Enneagram Coach · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Amy Wicks and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: All things Enneagram and helping you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Medwest.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was alone and without family or community.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord, He didn't let me stay there.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn my broken-hearted moment into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I share broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plans so you can live a life full of confidence and abundance.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal, mixed with a little bit of Enneagram coaching.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry or hit the treadmill or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And be ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, I'm so glad you're here today.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: This month we're focusing on topics which inspire us to wholehearted love.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Today's guest doesn't need much introduction.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Beth McCord is known as your Enneagram coach, and she is back with us today to talk about loving ourselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: One of the best ways that we can grow our love for God and others is to take time to grow an awareness of who we are.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: We need to be asking ourselves what do we like?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: What do we dislike?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: What brings us joy?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Where do we even come from?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: What is our story?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: You all might be under the assumption that you are very self-aware, but I'm gonna be the first to confess that recently I have learned how long the self-awareness journey may take, and how not self-aware I have been.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: A recent addition to her family has actually revived a ton of old emotions, which are helping me understand my personal Enneagram adventure.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know there'll be more to share on that in the future, but for today, Beth is going to share how writing our story and using the Enneagram can help us on this journey.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, as you listen, you may discover that there is more you would like to know about the Enneagram.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram may be overwhelming to you, and it is sometimes hard to know where to begin.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I have created my Easy Enneagram resources to help you make this journey so much easier.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already, get your Easy Enneagram Quick Start Guide where I give you the next steps with easy to find links and resources.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you want to learn what the Enneagram is, what it can do for you, and what can be dangerous about the Enneagram, the Easy Enneagram video guide is for you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Check out easy Enneagram.com or the links that are available in the show notes with all the information.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, Matha McCord is going to be talking about all the amazing resources that she's created that you will want to get your hands on today.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in to this conversation.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I want to dive in to this conversation about the Enneagram journals because now I know after talking to you that I might need to get a different one.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that'll be good for me.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we're this month, we're talking about wholehearted love.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we're having a ton of fun talking about God's love and loving others.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the most important elements in this whole process, I think even before we can love others is loving ourselves.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And in this culture, it's really easy, I think, for us Christians to hear that love ourselves and think that this is a message that is about, you know, self-worship or navel gazing or anything that would bring us unhealthfully further away from the Lord and into ourselves.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm talking about is just seeing the best path of growth that the Lord has for us.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's knowing ourselves and understanding ourselves and um, where do we come from?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: What's our story?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So would you share how writing our story and using the Enneagram can help us on this journey?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's so important.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So often we really don't know our journey.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think we think we know our journey because we're in it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but it's only when we take a step back and we pause and we kind of look at it in a sense from afar.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: So like being in the forest versus looking at it.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so often we don't even know how far into that forest we are.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we can take some time to pull back and look at it from a fresh set of eyes, I think we'll be surprised at how much we are going to learn about ourselves to grow in a new journey, a new path, versus being so inundated with all of these trees and where am I?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you're looking around, and just it all looks familiar, like nothing looks different.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: But so I think the journaling process is so important and to break things down into these bite-sized lessons, it allows you to focus on one element of your personality and your strategies of living versus kind of being in it all, you know, because there's so much to the Enneagram that we can kind of There is so much.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: It just takes years and years.
• 5:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think often people think, oh, but I want to know it all.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so they dive into reading all of this information, which is super fun.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: But then all of a sudden you're inundated with so much information that you don't even now know where to start or where to go.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And what to do with it, right?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is this actually going to be beneficial?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it that's where the journals can be super helpful because kind of like a GPS, and I always talk about how the enneagram is like an internal GPS, you might see, you know, like when you you're you have your current location, which is your main enneagram type, and when you're using a real GPS, and let's say you're trying to get, let's say I'm in Franklin and I'm trying to get into Nashville, like it's going to show me a couple paths, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and then you pick the one that you can.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: But so you can see the whole thing as you know, from a broad perspective, but then once you select it, it takes you turn by turn by turn.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's good.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: You have to go through this path, this journey in order to really get to that healthiest destination.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really what these journals or coaching does, is it takes you on a very specific path that is easily digestible versus overwhelming.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's the overwhelm that people then shut down, they really don't implement anything, right?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: They don't know what to do with it.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: But if you just break it down into a daily or weekly bite-sized lesson, then it's like, oh my gosh, I can totally see I need to turn here, or I'm veering off course here, I need to get back on the right path, then it makes it easy to understand.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: And once you learn your lesson in one little category, then you're like, it's just like playing a game, right?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, totally get now that I need to jump over that hurdle.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the next time I see that, I just need to do that.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so then you move on to the next, you know, the thing you'd have to learn.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I just want people to realize this is a process, it takes time, it's complex, it's deep.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Each of our stories are very different.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: All of the Enneagram types, though, the books will show you the overarching concept.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about every type one that picks up the journal has their own story, their own preferences, their own likes.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, yes, their core motivations are the same, and a lot, there's a lot of similarities, but we're unique, we're different.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so each person has to take the time to go through that journey, that process, that turn by turn in order to really understand what's going on so that they can stay on their healthiest path and becoming more like Christ.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so good.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we can become aware of those shortcomings and what we tend to repeat and we don't mean to repeat, I think a lot of that can come through in our writing because we can go back and we read, right?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: When we're, you know, sometimes flipping through and revisiting those things, or we know that we've had the same question or experience previously.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So we go back and we read those insights there and we go, hmm, there's a pattern, or oh, this is what the Lord said through this, or this is how I self-corrected and had a better outcome compared to maybe how I've experienced in the past.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's really good.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Could you give us a little just a picture of what these journals look like and what we could expect as we read through them and work through them?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: So the journals are a 21-day kind of gift book journal.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: So they're kind of small in their size.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um which is good.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: We need something that we can do.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: In 21 days, that sounds good.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's fun.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's they're not long at all.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So if people have studied the Enneagram for a long time and they're thinking this is going to be a thick book just on their type, and it's going to take them through all the nuances, that is not what this is designed for.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, good to know.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is yeah, this is designed to basically simplify the Enneagram into 21-day bite-sized lessons.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, even if you've studied the Enneagram all the time, this is still applicable to you.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: But it's not going to go through all the nuances that we could ever go through.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: This is really for people that want to go deeper, think and process their kind of the core elements of their type, okay.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then to go through that journey.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So there's 21 days.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Each day is about a page and a half, two pages.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: So again, it's not very long.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and but then there's journaling prompts on that very thing.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you could space it out instead of it being 21 consecutive days, maybe you have a day or two in between.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: So you can kind of watch yourself in your everyday life.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Do some observation.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, with that concept, because sometimes you don't even know, like, um, like, I didn't even know I did this.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And like, do I do that?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden you're going through your day and it's gonna pop up, right?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna recognize it because you're like just for thinking about it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh my gosh, I do this all the time.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just had someone ask a question, I'm trying to remember what their type was.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it was a type six, and they were going through their defensive mechanism, and this was in my coaching course uh coaching um on their type, but their defensive mechanism, and they were like, when do I actually do this?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the same thing.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you've been in the forest so long that it's just natural to you.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas take a step back, and I gave her some insights and stuff of what that looked like, um, but see it from a different perspective, kind of that non-judgmental observation of your life.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: When you bring judgment into the process, because a lot of us are natural human, like, oh, I do that again, and you know, that only makes you spiral down out of control.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can be compassionate and gracious to yourself, like, you know what, I am gonna stumble and fall.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Christ has redeemed all things, he will get me on the right path, he is renewing all things, he's reconciling and restoring all things, then you can go, yep, there I am again.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we can laugh at it lightheartedly, but we can also own it and ask for forgiveness, knowing that he has us on that journey.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: So, what we want people to do is again, whether it's they do it in 21 days or they spread it out over a course of time, it's 21 days worth of understanding why you do what you do, but going at a deeper level so that you can use that concept kind of like a rumble strip on the highway.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Those things that alert you, wake you up when you're veering off course.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: So take the concept of one of the things that we teach is when you're under stress, you're going to take on the attributes of a very specific type.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so I show you that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: So, like for me as a nine, when I'm under stress, I can take on some of the unhealthy or average attributes of a type six.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what does that look like?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't become a six, but what does it look like?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I lay it out in the book, and then I can have journaling prompts, and then for the next couple days, I can go, okay, when I'm stressed, I'm gonna try to recognize what naturally happens without putting myself down.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna observe.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And now that I observe it, I'm like, oh, yes, totally.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: I see it now.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then I can move in that direction of going, I'm sorry, family.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Mom is stressed, mom is stressed again.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: I now can see it.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm owning it.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: I apologize.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: I may not be able to change it right away, but hopefully in time the Holy Spirit will work in and through me.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: But at least I'm owning, I'm not shifting the blame, I'm not defending, I'm not stonewalling.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm able to say, by God's grace, I can admit right where I'm at, knowing that I'm still free and loved by him.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that helps us to then transform and change, becoming more like him, which is what he wants for us and is working in us.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how we want people to use the journals.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, instead of beating yourself up for when you're messing up, because it's bound to happen.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I also think that because I know you are a coach, as I am a coach, I, you know, I go through material, I've written material specifically for moms and just highlighting some of the wrestle that we uniquely experienced, especially for those of us in the earlier stages of motherhood, that this would be a great companion to actually get the homework done that we talk about in this session, because it's really helpful because we sometimes we have the answers in us.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: We just need someone to ask us the right questions.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And and kind of shine a light on it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so then I would imagine that this would then help take those insights a little bit more into action on a regular basis.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is gonna be that thing that highlights things, brings it up to surface, reminds you on an ongoing basis of what's really happening, and especially because it's short enough, you're gonna be able to kind of flip through it on a weekly or monthly basis and just refresh yourself real quickly of what you've already learned.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wouldn't just use it once, I would have it kind of on your bedside or on your desk to just really kind of highlight, or like let's say you're stuck for some reason, you're like, what is going on?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just kind of thumb through and go, oh, right.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's this thing that's really happening.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then to use that insight, that aha moment to course correct.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when basically we have to surrender and depend on Christ to work in and through us, versus us pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps once again and trying to fix it or trying to force others to change.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now we can go, okay, I see what's happening inside me.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can own and I can ask for forgiveness, and I can have Christ move in and through me.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that is where the real power comes from.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Now we walk in faith, right?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like we actually obey and we do those things, but we have to have a disposition of Him doing the work in and through us.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so good.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on one second.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I I know that you and I both see the the meaning and the importance and the value of all of this, but I imagine that we each maybe have a hang up about going through this process or even taking the time to journal through it.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so would you maybe give us a quick insight for each type, what either maybe would prevent us from diving in or what we could, I always like to hear what the benefit is, maybe, you know, what is that carrot?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe even the stick to get us going in the right direction and and take this process for us.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: So for the type ones, the moral perfectionists, they're gonna get hung up on uh two things probably.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: Are they are they gonna do it the right way?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Are they gonna get it done in a precise manner, or is it gonna feel too much where they will feel like they didn't do it good enough or right enough?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And this is more about morals and ethics.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um and or the other thing that can trip them up is they're going to see by journaling more of their imperfections.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so what can trip them up is their own inner critic that is kind of harping on them.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so, all the more the ones are going to have to really um really hang their hat on Romans 8, 1.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's now no more condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and hopefully in the journal, my my passion and my desire is to show them that, to guide them through that.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's not to highlight all of their worst attributes so that they feel it all the more.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually the opposite.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, you have the grace and the freedom of Christ to grow and to learn, but that can't trip them up.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: The type two, um, it's really hard for twos to see where they um aren't doing well because they fear that others will reject them.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so for them it can be hard, it's kind of like a one, but hard for them to see some of these um imperfections um because it only highlights to them all the more of where they could be rejected.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so to recognize, and this all goes in in the book, they'll see this.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: This all goes into the day, the chapter on how Christ satisfies their core longing.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's going to be important for the two to recognize you are unconditionally loved.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And this is based off of what Christ has done, not that you can show others that you shouldn't be rejected.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so for the twos, it can be that.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the other thing that twos need to recognize is they can get hung up on there's others they need to focus on.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I see.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: So we need the twos to know first put your oxygen mask on and then you can help those.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you can help everybody else.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and but here's the thing, like just like on the airplane, you're you're not, even if you have the oxygen on you, you can't get up and run around to help everyone.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's such a good guy, right?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Has allotted you only those that your oxygen mask can can reach, not everyone.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: God will take care of those he wants to take care of.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: He has given you just a few around you.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now the two's like, no, I have to help everyone.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: I sense need something.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: No, let God just give you a few that he has called you to.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we want two to do that.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: The threes are going to get tripped up on are they gonna do it this um in a successful way?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, could they fail at this somehow?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And what does failure look like?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that's tricky because there's really not failure in this.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so now I'm of course everyone can in their mind think of what failure looks like.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: But this is just a self-journey processing.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's no really right or wrong.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think the only thing is just not doing it, you know.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: But even that, it's like, well, has God called you to do it?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I mean, right, is it if he hasn't?
• 20:10
  unknown: Right.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: So not everybody in the world has to do these journals, but if God's calling you, just step into the process.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna be um perfect.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: And allowing that kind of imperfection of not being perfectly successful or whatever, just allowing it to be what it is, and they'll learn through the that journey for the three what that looks like because it's a kind of a scary but also exciting process of just being versus always doing.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Now, obviously, they're going to need to do the the journal in order to get there.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that excites them, but the process we're trying to get them to is to just be instead of just doing.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'll explain that to them in that.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the fours they're gonna get tripped up on is the fours feel like there's something flawed and defective inside them.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And because we're also bringing out and highlighting some of the weaknesses of any of the types that can almost be super reflective on them.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, see, I am defective and flawed, see.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now, obviously, as I'm coaching them in the book, I'm pointing out how they were uniquely designed to be exactly who they are, and God delights in his design.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but at the initial onset, that um feeling of something being defective can be so high that they might not want to actually go through it.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: But the good thing about the fours is that they love to dive deeper.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: They do, and they're good at that.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're willing to examine the hard things.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I think more than a lot of types, they'll actually press in and go deeper.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I don't think a four would actually struggle too much with diving into these, but if they did, it would be because of um The envy, the struggle with envy and feeling defective and flawed would be there.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: The fives, um, they might struggle with this process um because they might feel like there's not enough information.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: They want they want all of the bells and whistles and the nuances instead of a simplified way.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think if they trut if they can trust me that there's a reason and a and a way for this, then there's always books to go further and deeper.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: The the other books that are further and deeper are definitely for the mind, which they love.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: But this is for the journey.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is for personal growth step by step, which isn't something that they're always necessarily doing.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: They're wanting the knowledge, the hoarding of knowledge, and thinking that's going to make things better.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas this is a process that I can guarantee them that if they'll go through it and journal, that they will actually experience an outcome that they never thought possible with less information.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think even because they always there's almost that element of needing the outside source where this is going, you know, you have the the resource in you already that we're just pulling out instead of trying to take in more.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's good.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Really good.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then the six, um, I think they could possibly be suspicious.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Would this really help them?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, yes.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: If they really know in general, the coaching in general seems that seems to be a big hint for them.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's understandable.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I would say the same thing to the sixes, trust me.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my my mom, my son, my husband, my best friend are all sixes.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, you got a lot of them.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've got enough input from them, um, but also coaching so many sixes that I even though I'm not a six, um, to trust me in the process as a coach, um, that I will guide you in a trustworthy, respectable way to highlight the things that are tripping you up, but also to guide you in a path where you feel safe and secure.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that's good.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's just what I would I would just ask them to trust the process.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And sevens, they're gonna love this.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's um maybe.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Except for the painful part.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So what's gonna trip them up is if they smell any hint of being having to go into emotional pain or highlighting negativity of any kind.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and again, I would ask them to trust the process that this out of all the things I've developed is the most simplified, easy to do, quick process of going deeper without it being overly negative.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, that's good.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sevens anything that is a deep growth process can feel negative because it's just is what it is on this side of heaven.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I think they'll be very delighted that these are short, quick excerpts that may not be always super fun, but I think as they trust the process, they're gonna find so much more joy in ways that it we're not talking about happiness, we're talking about joy.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And joy is really what they're after, but they are always satisfying for happiness.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so if they can trust the process they have them, they're gonna find that deep satisfaction for themselves.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's good.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Eights, well, eights will probably what I would say is eights are gonna be different because they're gonna want to just plow through it.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I could see that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Get it done.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say, again, trust the process.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: They might want to do it quicker than other types, which is fine.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I would still ask them to slow it down more than what their personality wants.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: So they don't have to, yeah, they could do it maybe in less time than 21 days, but I would just ask maybe you do two a day, but you still need time to observe it.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: But they're so quick in their mind that they're gonna be able to connect the dots faster than some of the other types, and that's perfectly fine.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, interesting.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: Still trust that there is a process and a way of doing this to take time to observe than just plowing through it.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then the last, the nines.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um love you nines.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: You all are so great.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's my type.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um nines actually are the most involved with the Enneagram when it comes to the work I do.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I see that.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: Whether that's because I'm a nine or not, I don't know.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I would just say nines, keep learning, keep going deeper, wake up to yourself, yeah, and then voice, like know yourself, clear the fog of the internal fog, clear the fog, and become your own self as you also do a great job adapting to others.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a both and don't just give up your voice, give up your presence, have your full presence as you come alongside others.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: And this journal will help you help them to do that.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it really will help them maybe even identify those desires that they often suppress and you know, put aside for the better good, which we love about you, but we want you to offer what you have to the world.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much goodness there.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is awesome.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think this will be super helpful.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think also just, you know, like one more action point for us is that for me, I've really been reclaiming celebration this year.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's been seems to be the theme that the Lord has had me on.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And um, not that I don't like to have fun and celebrate, but you know, adult life can get kind of cumbersome, and so we forget and we lose that.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are some of the ways that you've made self-awareness, not only your journey but others, a little bit more positive to encourage others to get on that road of of growth?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, and that's I think the thing about the Enneagram that's hard for me to understand how others use it without the truth of the gospel.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because the because the Enneagram will highlight everything, and we're talking about all the good, but all the bad.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think as humans, we naturally when we see the negativity in the bad, we part of our flesh, part of I think uh the evil one wants us to just really focus in on that, and then it spirals us down deeper and deeper to a point to the place where we're not able to grow, we're not able to get out of that rut.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but here's the that's why I always pair it with the gospel, because that's not the trajectory that God has us on or wants us to be on.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're driving down the highway, you don't want to land into those common pitfalls time and time again and then just stay in them.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's why we need to not repeat.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why we create these rumble strips.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: So each of these days, each of these little entry points, um, lessons, if you will, are new rumble strips that you're putting down as you're driving down the highway or of life.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: And we're wanting to create these rumble strips so when you when you come up against it again, instead of putting yourself down, shaming yourself, condemnation, all that stuff, you can go, oh wait.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: As my personality, if I keep thinking, feeling, and behaving in this particular way, which I have done my entire life, I will fall into that same common pitfall.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: And therefore, I have a choice.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: What do I choose?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, there are sometimes we still just choose.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we will land into that common pitfall.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: But even when we do that, we can still have, we need to own it, we need to apologize, whether it's to people and God or to God, whatever it is.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to own it, but we can also step back into freedom.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: We're not, we don't have to stay there.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: Christ always puts us back on the path to become more like him.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so even if we do make these mistakes, there is always grace and freedom.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's now no more condemnation.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: When God came to rescue us in Romans 5, 8, it says that he knew we were sinners.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that works for the world.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: He's not surprised.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he came for us while we were sinning.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: So therefore, that doesn't mean we just do whatever we want, but it lets us know he's not surprised.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: And therefore, we can always come back into this safe, secure, loving, compassionate relationship with God, owning our stuff, surrendering, depending on him.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what I do in that in those these books and in my courses is always showing how Christ satisfies each of the type's core longing.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that is what gets us back on the right path because otherwise we think we have to find the satisfaction ourselves in relationships, in careers, food, whatever it is.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, shopping, I mean, you name it, we're always looking to satisfy ourselves in this one specific way.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if we recognize, oh, he's already done it, it allows our hearts to calm down, it allows us to drink from the spring of living water, and it allows us to move in growth much more with freedom and grace and joy than trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, which never works.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then just walking through this really hard path.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: He's done it for us, and we can join him in that process.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Beth, I always love talking to you.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is so good.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so incredibly grateful that the Lord allowed me to be in your life and to learn from you and um and just be able, from my point of view, champion on this great work and participate it in the little way I've I've been able to do it.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: So this is good.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's so good to talk to you again.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, we're just gonna have to do it more and more.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love that.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be great.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Beth McCord is always such a fantastic guest, and I am really grateful to have her share her expertise once again.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know you'll want to get your customized Enneagram journal to continue your self-awareness journey today.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're gonna continue our conversation about wholehearted love with nine keys to winning your child's heart.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And just a reminder, I would love for you to use my new messaging feature.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can leave a voice message for the Simply Wholehearted podcast with your questions.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to do a whole show or even answer a question every week, whether it's about the Enneagram, motherhood, or relationships.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's a link in the show notes that will connect you right to it.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to hearing those and answering them soon.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've enjoyed this episode as you continue to navigate this month of wholehearted love.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: It would mean the world to me to have you share this podcast with your girlfriends and leave a rating with a review so others know what to expect, and that they are welcome to join this community.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you can always email or tag Simply Wholehearted on social media, or send me a direct message if you have questions, or you just want to share some encouragement.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, until next week, let's invite others to join us to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for us assembly a wholehearted life.