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S2 E44 - Listening to Our Listeners · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
0:11
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there, too.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Stephen Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Johnny and Jeff.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: Great to be back in the studio here.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: You know, I I was a little surprised that Johnny was able to enunciate so well because I when I saw him on the way in, boy, he looked like somebody punched him in the mouth.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: I think you're right.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what happened, but it doesn't didn't look good.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: It looked like he got in a fight or something.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, whoever he fought with, I don't think it was a fair fight.
0:46
SPEAKER_02: Do you know I doubt it?
0:47
SPEAKER_02: No, because it doesn't look like I mean his knuckles were like pristine.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: I it was this all in the face, you know.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't care about his private life.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: I really don't.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: I've seen him paint those things, those knuckles, and oh yeah, yeah, kind of reminds me of this woman I used to go out with.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: But, anyways, how you how's it going, Steve?
1:05
SPEAKER_02: We had a little preview of the the listener email show last week when in reviewing the listener email, lo and behold, one of them showed up in the studio, and we actually had we had that guest on.
1:17
SPEAKER_02: But tonight we're finally gonna get that listener email show done.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: It's so overdue, Jeff.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: We've got so many listeners who send so many emails.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: I was shocked.
1:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh to be honest with you, I wasn't really ever looking at the stuff people send until until last week, you know, when we reviewed the one with Paper Girl, Paper Girl, yeah, stripper.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: Paper girl slash stripper.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: It's stripper.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: If you if you wonder what we're talking about, ladies and gentlemen, listen to last week's show.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: It really would take the whole show to explain, so I we can't, but just listen, it it's out there.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: But I digress, Jeff.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, uh but but yeah, so now I'm really excited to go back, and it looks like we've got some good ones.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: It seems as though people are taking these emails to us a lot more seriously than they did when we took them last time.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: Has it been a year since we've done I think it's been a year, Jeff.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: I I looked back, I did a quick scan, and you know, it's not an exhaustive scan because I'm old and my attention span goes places, but I did a quick scan of our shows this season and I didn't see one.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: I think it's been a year since we've done one.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: Well, in that case, it actually it's impressive than it's been a year, but and you know, you know, Jeff, you're you really haven't missed anything by not reading the emails because most of them are obscene.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, but absolutely I saved I save those in a special file and you know, read them later.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: But we got some really good ones, Jeff.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: We got some listeners that really care about the issues, about the concerns, about the problems, about the projects, about the things that people should be concerned about.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I guess.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I really don't give a shit, but I'm excited to see what other people think.
2:53
SPEAKER_01: I can't believe I just said that you'll edit that out, right?
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Because let me just let me restate this.
2:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm so excited about what people are thinking about the people that have listened to our show, and yes, I cannot wait to listen to this.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: That's so much better.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: Even if you don't care about the issues, you gotta pretend like you care about the listeners, Jeff.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: It's all it's important.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: You really gotta at least pretend.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: I love theater of the mind here, this audio world that we live in.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: So these are emails, ladies and gentlemen.
3:24
SPEAKER_02: These are on a computer that makes absolutely no sounds whatsoever.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: You click other than click it clicks, you know, it makes the usual computer sounds.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: But I'm gonna reach into the mailbag, Jeff, just because we love we love doing that.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: Reach into the mailbag.
3:41
SPEAKER_02: Careful.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, reaching up mailbag.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: And I've got one here.
3:47
SPEAKER_02: I should we should we get started, Jeff?
3:49
SPEAKER_02: We should yeah, let's just dive in.
3:51
SPEAKER_02: Let's dive in, you know.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: This one says, Dear Stephen Jeff, it's Jan from Omaha, right here in Omaha.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: Look, look at that.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: I just want to tell you how much I enjoy your podcast.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: I used to listen to that other guy, you know, the wrestler, the MMA comedian guy, but you are so much funnier.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: Well, Jan, of course, we are, but but I digress.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: I especially love how you put a joke into every show right off the bat.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Always puts me.
4:19
SPEAKER_02: Always up for tonight.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: I mean, this well, and of course she's listening tonight because we're gonna read her email, right?
4:25
SPEAKER_02: So of course she's listening tonight, right?
4:26
SPEAKER_02: But says this joke always puts me in a great mood.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where you get them from.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: Well, various recycling centers and dead comedians and comedians who probably won't sue us.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Uh, but that so I don't know where you get them from, but I thought I could help you with a couple of jokes I made up myself.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Wow, okay.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, we got that joke writer who really hasn't delivered.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: No, and I'm excited because you know, I I just I'm automatically assuming Jan's hilarious.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: Well, and maybe Jan can be the joke writer, you know.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: It says if if you think they're funny, feel free to put them on the show.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Well, Jan, okay, thank you so much.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay, here it goes.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, before I read the joke though, Jeff, it's always a little risky to read a listener's joke, you know, because we try to keep things really funny at the funny level.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, how should I put this without sounding like you did when you were talking about the listeners?
5:23
SPEAKER_02: One one, you know, not every listener might be at that comedic level, you know, you know, you know what I'm saying?
5:30
SPEAKER_02: Some of them, well, I I don't know.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I think everybody has a skill.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: Ours is to be incredibly funny and creative, and theirs is to listen to us be to be incredibly funny.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: To be funny and creative and creative.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: So this is kind of a flipping of the roles here.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'm hoping this will work out, and who knows?
5:49
SPEAKER_01: Like, maybe we can we won't have to write jokes anymore, and hey, um, our listeners will do this for us.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: Well, that works out.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: You know, let's see, let's let's let's try it out here.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: So okay, all right.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: So here's the joke.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: So it turns out the Russians also had a presidential election, is your right go figure, right?
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: Uh gee, I wonder if we sent bots over there, but I digress.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: Uh so Russians had an election after all, votes were tabulated.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: So Putin met with his staff and they told him, Vlad, we have some good news and some bad news.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: So Putin, you know, he acts tough.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: He likes to act tough.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm not scared of bad news.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: I've wrestled bears, tigers, even a small rhino with my bare Russian hands.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: Give me the bad news.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: So a staff member says, Well, count the votes, and your opponent, Sergei Polchiski, or whatever, got 51% of the votes.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: So Putin says, That's terrible news.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: What what could possibly be the good news?
6:53
SPEAKER_02: And the staff member says, You got 52.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, okay, all right.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, and and it's a joke that probably half the country doesn't find very funny.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Putin's a very popular politician, seems to be very popular with some people.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: And what's not to like about him?
7:12
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he's great.
7:13
SPEAKER_01: All he wants is peace.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: He's all about cooperation.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: As long as you surrender, he'll cooperate with your surrender.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just he's all about peace.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: And respect and tolerance.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, yes.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: It's all about what world.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you can smell it on him.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: That's uh you can smell it.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: I can smell it right here.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I smell it right now, in fact.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: But uh, right.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Another joke here, right?
7:39
SPEAKER_02: That was a good joke though.
7:41
SPEAKER_02: That was, that was, Jan.
7:42
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you're off to a good start.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: This is this one.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: A sheriff and his wife are talking.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: The sheriff's wife is on her deathbed.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: On her deathbed, she confesses to the sheriff, to her husband, that she cheated on him three times, but swears it was always for a good reason.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's a little shaken.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: I was dying and this news at the same time.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: So so he says, Well, tell me about it.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: What happened?
8:07
SPEAKER_02: What are the what are the occasions?
8:09
SPEAKER_02: What are the reasons?
8:11
SPEAKER_02: So, well, first time, you remember when Dr.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: Smith said we couldn't afford the operation, and then he changed his mind and did it for free?
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Sheriff says, Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, well, I forgive you.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: So, what was the second time?
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Second time, she says, You remember when our boy got a DUI and the judge led him off with probation?
8:33
SPEAKER_02: Says, Yeah, yeah, okay, I forgive you for that one.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Uh what was the third?
8:39
SPEAKER_02: Said, Well, you remember when the polls had you about a hundred votes shy of winning the election for sheriff?
8:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, you know, it's one of those things is it's sequence, not quantity, I guess, is what they're going for there.
8:52
SPEAKER_02: It's event.
8:53
SPEAKER_02: Event, not quantity.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: So you know, Jan, keep up the good work.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: That was that was great.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, in fact, she says in her email, keep up the good work.
9:02
SPEAKER_02: Love you guys.
9:03
SPEAKER_02: I knew I I knew I read it somewhere.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, I I like that both of them very much.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Jan.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Maybe those those jokes will appear in a future episode.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Well, or even in this one.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: We'll see.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: We'll have to see.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: We'll see.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: We'll have to see.
9:17
SPEAKER_02: Jeff, why don't you why don't you pull one out of the mailbag there?
9:20
SPEAKER_02: All right.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: You want the sound effect?
9:21
SPEAKER_02: I'll give you the sound effect.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: I don't cut yourself.
9:28
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: All right.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: Got my hand deep in that bag.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm pulling it out.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: So here it is.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: So I would say something, but it's so obscene, I think I would even have to cut myself out, you know?
9:40
SPEAKER_02: All right.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: So, dear Stephen Jeff, I listen to your podcast every week, and I always come away smarter.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm a 56-year-old divorced mother of two, and my ex-husband, their father, has moved out of state and is no longer around and has not been in contact us with us for over three months.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: Sucks.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's bad.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: So, my question is when making chocolate chip cookies, how do you get the cookies to stay nice and thick?
10:10
SPEAKER_01: Good question.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: You know, that is a burning issue.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: That is a burning issue.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: You know what my mom used to do?
10:16
SPEAKER_02: This is so wild.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: She would keep the cookies nice and thick.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: She liked them thick too.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: I always liked them a little thinner and soft.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: She liked them really thick and long.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: She's like hers weren't round.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: I think they oh no, no, she made different shapes.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: But what she would do, you remember, I don't know if you remember in like the 70s and 80s, there was this big thing about you know, they put this foam into your walls, this insulation.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: They'd like drill a little hole and they'd shoot.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: You remember that?
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Do you shoot all those foam?
10:42
SPEAKER_02: I think they later they later found out that the stuff is like fatal.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: So so that that popularity kind of kind of went away.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: But for a while there was big.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, she got a bunch of this stuff.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: We never put it in our walls because she didn't like it.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: She was originally she was a little attracted to one of the salesmen, but then uh it didn't work out.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: So we never got the stuff, but she she wound up getting a bunch of the stuff, and she would like she'd put that in the cookies, and it made them so soft and night, nice and thick, too.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: And yummy.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, very good, yeah.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: High fiber.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they're very good, very good.
11:15
SPEAKER_02: So, anyway, what do you think about what she could do here?
11:18
SPEAKER_02: She didn't give her name, really.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: That's interesting.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, you know, it was a set it's a sensitive issue.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: You know, she's gone through a lot.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: I know this for me.
11:26
SPEAKER_01: My mom, what my mom did for her chocolate chip cookies was to freeze the batter after you take it out and you you add all the ingredients, you freeze it, and then you bring it out later, and that way when it's cooking, it doesn't flatten out as quickly.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: So I would suggest that maybe get a divorce attorney at the same time, yeah, you know, to help out and get somebody who can kind of collect the money so that she can afford to make the cookies.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: That would be my tip.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: What about you?
11:57
SPEAKER_02: I I think that's great advice, and you know, all that I would really add to that is I would think if I was making cookies and I said, gosh, I wish I could make these thicker, I'd probably make brownies, you know.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: You know, those are thicker in general.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've seen some really thick cookies, I guess, but in general, a brownie is gonna be thicker than a cookie, right?
12:18
SPEAKER_01: And I make good brownies, Steve.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: I think you know that.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you do the office, oh you do, they they just go down so smoothly.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: So uh remember the time we ate the entire pan.
12:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, literally the pan.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: We ate it.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: We ate the pan.
12:33
SPEAKER_02: I think I saw Peter pan later, right?
12:35
SPEAKER_02: So he was flying around the room.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it was oh, that was a good time.
12:38
SPEAKER_02: Let's find out what another listener has to say.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: All right, I think it's your turn.
12:42
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is from uh Samantha from Detroit.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: Ah, so dear Stephen Jeff, I'm Samantha from Detroit.
12:47
SPEAKER_02: See, that's how I knew it was Samantha from Detroit.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: In the past, you have helped me with so many issues just by listening to your show.
12:56
SPEAKER_02: See, that's where we are healing people, we are in the healthcare field, Jeff.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: We're entertainment, but we're healthcare.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: Look at this, look at this.
13:03
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I remember when you had the dream lady on.
13:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh, we we've had a couple, yeah.
13:07
SPEAKER_02: And she really helped me understand that what I was eating.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's the eating dream lady, okay.
13:13
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: Help me understand that what I was eating was the reason for certain dreams I was having.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, yeah, sure is.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: So since then, I only eat cereal.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Captain Crunch, to be exact.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: My question is, what types of cereal do you eat?
13:30
SPEAKER_02: And can you share some of your dreams with me?
13:33
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: Hey Samantha, I I don't know if we know each other well enough for me to share dreams with you.
13:38
SPEAKER_02: If you'd like to, you know, come over for a weekend and we'll we'll drink, you know, a case of vodka and maybe I'll share some dreams with you then.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: But you know, you mentioned cereal and Captain Crunch.
13:49
SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously, I love Captain Crunch.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: You know, one of the reasons I love Captain Crunch, I I get the peanut butter one, you know, and the peanut butter crunchy goodness.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: I mean, uh, what's not to like, that is so good.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: However, I also like it because you know, the Captain Crunch character on the box looks like my grandfather, looks like my my dad's mom, my dad's dad, I should say.
14:10
SPEAKER_02: You know, looks he looked just like the captain.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: As a kid, I would eat the cereal, and then I had these dreams about him.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: Plus, I'd eat a bowl right before bed, and then I'd also dream about him, but then I also dream about the movie Officer and a gentleman.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, and I with Richard Gere.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: You know something?
14:28
SPEAKER_02: Fun fact.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, I'm kind of a movie geek, you know.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: Well, fun fact, Richard Gere during the filming of an officer and gentleman, ate nothing but Captain Crunch.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: Most people don't know that.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: Very, very true, very true.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: I did not know that, but now all I can think about him, I think when I have my dream tonight is about Richard Gere.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: So you might have that dream more often than some.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: Handsome man.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: And the other thing is Captain Crunch.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: Is it me, or is Captain Crunch looks like like a a brother to Captain Kangaroo?
15:01
SPEAKER_02: He does, he looks a lot like Captain Kun.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: You know, in that that one movie uh with the that had mini me, you know, had the bad guy and mini me.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh huh.
15:09
SPEAKER_02: He's like Captain Kangaroo's mini me, if you want to think of it that way.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: Because he's a little guy, you know, on the box.
15:14
SPEAKER_02: Well, the box is only like a foot tall, so he's gotta be little on there.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: So I maybe he's taller than that in real life.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't but full disclosure, Captain Crunch was not my favorite.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: Uh maybe it's because I married an Irish woman, I'm not sure, but Lucky Charms was my go-to, especially when uh when I wanted to have some interesting dreams, and you know, a lot of them had to do with sex and uh little people if I can.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's that's half Irish.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: That's half Irish, the little people part's Irish, the other part, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: What was weird though is that oftentimes I would have these dreams, these powerful dreams, and I'd wake up sore.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: And I I don't know where that came from.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: Sore in some uh some places, well, you know, where my lucky charms are, you know.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: So that maybe that I I don't know if that has anything to do with anything, and maybe were were things rearranged or missing in your room afterwards, Jeff.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: I I this is this could be a whole show.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: You you realize that, right?
16:14
SPEAKER_02: Well, it could be.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: I know that it was surprisingly delicious, and 'tis luck to catch a leprechaun.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: Jeff, you want to why don't you try one?
16:23
SPEAKER_01: All right, good.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: Dear Stephen Jeff, with the election near, I was hoping you would give me your opinion on who you're gonna vote for and who you think will win.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Donald.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: I don't know who that is, but uh it's a good question.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: This is how they this is how they do polling these days, I guess.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: Let's let's write into a podcast and ask.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, Donald, excellent question.
16:53
SPEAKER_01: We don't do a lot of politics on this show, and and it's for good reason.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to alienate people who listen to it, but uh at the same time, I I feel like I need to answer the question.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: So I was watching uh the Democratic convention last night, I saw the Republican one too, and without question, I think Obama's got a good shot at being president.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: I just get this feeling, I think he'd make a great president.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: You know, I saw the Republican convention, and it made me think that maybe George Bush has a shot too.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: So I would say it would be between those two.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: Obama was kind of more the charismatic guy, and George Bush, you just wanted to have a beer with him, yeah, just really liked him.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: So I would say I don't know who would win, but I think it's between those two.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: You know, Jeff, uh that is interesting because for me, I I've just always liked Clinton, the Bill Clinton.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: I mean, uh something about him just makes me trust him.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: You know, my granddad, you know, the Captain Crunch guy, right?
17:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he always used to say, you know, when he he'd do the Captain Crunch voice sometimes too, but when he wasn't goofing around like that, he would he always used to say that the way that you can really tell if someone's trustworthy is would you leave him alone with your daughter?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: And I think somebody leaves Bill Clinton alone with their daughter, what could happen?
18:15
SPEAKER_02: No worries, right?
18:16
SPEAKER_02: He passes that test.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that helps or not, Donald.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: I think those are three good candidates, right?
18:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh out of the ones that are that are running.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how many people actually run in these elections.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: I hear that sometimes they have these things.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: I are they called primaries?
18:33
SPEAKER_02: It could be hundreds, Jeff.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: It's like the Boston Marathon.
18:36
SPEAKER_02: I mean, they're running there like you know, all kinds of people could run here.
18:39
SPEAKER_02: This this is unbelievable.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: We've got time because they don't make decisions, you know, the they don't count the votes until after January, like the first week in January.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: So we've got till the end of the year to figure it out.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: So there's plenty of time.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: And so except you know, you know, Jeff, after November, the betting odds go go away.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: You're it's really hard to get a good play on the betting odds after November, but correct, that is correct.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: I I happen to see one here that we were just talking about political names, and this is one from a lady named Hillary.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Now, I don't think it's that Hillary, okay.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: Lady named Hillary, she is from Washington, DC, however.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: Now there are probably a lot of Hillary in Washington, DC.
19:20
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's not her, but okay.
19:22
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, so this is dear Stephen Jeff is Hillary from Washington, D.C.
19:25
SPEAKER_02: That's how I knew.
19:26
SPEAKER_02: See, love your show.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: My favorite part is when you have Jim Fowler on with exotic animals.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's yeah, we've done that like zero times, I think.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, uh, I just loved when he brought a monkey on the show and he crawled on top of Jeff's head.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: Monkey kept falling off for some reason, but hilarious.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, okay, yeah.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: I I think it's amazing that people can clearly remember stuff that never happened, but I did we'll we'll we'll address that with maybe with another show here.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: But well, so Steve, I I just have a general question.
19:57
SPEAKER_01: So, do you think anybody that listens to us knows who Jim Fowler was?
20:01
SPEAKER_01: Or I didn't, I don't know if he's still live, but yeah, didn't he?
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Was it the San Diego Zoo?
20:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, he was Wild Kingdom, he was the guy in Wild Kingdom.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: Is that Omaha?
20:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Omaha, yes, that was.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: So there you go with that connection.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: So that makes total sense.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.
20:17
SPEAKER_02: Hillary goes on here.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: So anyway, I am hoping you can answer a question for me that I've been wondering for years.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: It has to do with Claire.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: Now, she Hillary, you should have said Miss Claire.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say Miss Claire.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: It has to do with Miss Claire.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I used to go to high school in Council Bluffs back in 2015.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry to hear that.
20:37
SPEAKER_02: And I remember a classmate of mine that looks so much like Miss Claire.
20:41
SPEAKER_02: She was in my shop class for a while, but was expelled for burning off Bart Glazer's finger with a soldering gun.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Those those things happen.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: Wow, yeah, you've got to be really careful in shop class.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Does sound a little like Miss Claire, but but anyway, but I still remember that crazy laugh as the police escorted her out of class.
21:05
SPEAKER_02: But the strange thing is that I'm quite sure her name wasn't Claire.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: I think it was Carrie, you know, like the movie.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
21:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: Could she be a relative or changed her name?
21:17
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
21:18
SPEAKER_02: Well, Hillary, yeah.
21:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm glancing over to the production booth even as we even as I answer this.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: Uh hi, Miss Claire.
21:27
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing?
21:27
SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, I don't think that's the same person, Hillary, just like you're not the same person as that Hillary.
21:33
SPEAKER_02: This isn't that Claire or that Carrie.
21:36
SPEAKER_02: But from what we do know about Claire, or Miss Claire, I should say, uh, as far as we know, she grew up in uh Joliet, Illinois, in the shadow of Stateville Penitentiary.
21:45
SPEAKER_02: And from there, uh went to, well, it depends on when you ask her.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: She went to an Ivy League school.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: It could have been Yale, it could have been Columbia, it could have been Council Bluffs Community College.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: She went somewhere.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: We don't know really much about her relatives.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Since at least according to her, they've all mysteriously died from a variety of tragic accidents.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, but Hillary, most of them in shop glass.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: And you think shop and poor poor Bart Glazer.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: But you know, Hillary, uh, thanks for the email and keep listening.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: And hey, who knows?
22:17
SPEAKER_02: We might have you on again.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: If you're still around.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: If you're still around.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: You never know.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm glad Hillary didn't give her last name.
22:28
SPEAKER_02: Uh oh, yes.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: She sounds like a nice woman.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: This one is from Joe from Delaware.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Again.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: It's probably not that Joe.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: No, no, I'm sure it's not.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: It's probably not Dad Joe.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: Dear Steven Jeff, love your show.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm always surprised at how smart and knowledgeable you are.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: Everyone kind of.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me too.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm shocked as well.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, it seems like no matter the subject, you have strong opinions that seem to be based on either fact or real life experiences that no one else has.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: Can you share where you are from and how you got so smart?
23:03
SPEAKER_02: You know, Joe, that's a great question.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: And I think it really is.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: I think we should explain all this to our listeners.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: So, Joe and the listeners at home or in the car or wherever you might be, as we've talked about on previous shows, I was born and raised Peoria, Illinois.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: I was born to an Amish family of 15, 15 kids.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: We raised lambs, although we lived in the city.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it was the 60s.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: And so you remember the Dick Van Dyke show, how their living room looked?
23:32
SPEAKER_02: It had the step down and then sunken couches and all.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: We had that house.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: That was the how we lived in that house.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: That was exactly and we raised the lambs in so the lambs would like trip over the couch, trip over the ottoman, kind of like Dick Van Dyke would do, you know.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they did that all the time.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: You know, it was always a challenge to raise them and stay true to our beliefs.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: You know, the Amish, the Amish way is is not easy, and I can still, boy, in my sleep, sometimes I sometimes still hear the slaughtering of the lambs.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: The late great guy who said that, but I digress.
24:09
SPEAKER_02: Interestingly enough, though, you know, it's funny because I maybe it was the Amish roots.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: I never used electricity until I went to college.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: But then, like a lot of people that abstain and then go to college, I kind of went wild with electricity.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: So I actually studied electrical engineering.
24:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, I just I really I got I went overboard and then I I came back and decided I'd go into podcasting.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: Uh, how about you, Jeff?
24:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, I was born in Indiana, small town called Ligoneer.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: Ligonier, that's where Ligonier's disease comes from there.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, Ligoneer is about 40 miles south of South Bend, Indiana.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, sort of sort of Amish country.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, although I was Jewish, I was a Hasidic Jew, which means I dressed in black and we sort of lived off the land.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: And and I bet you missed having those curls, the earlock curls.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: I miss every curl that I used to have.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: So I don't really have any at this point.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: So I digress.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: But fortunately, those curls would come on the sideburns, and I do still have sideburns.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: So cool.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's I got that working for me, which is nice.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: Which is nice.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: So um, but anyways, so I kind of looked Amish, even though I was Jewish.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: And I need help.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: And that's how we met.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: That's how we met.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: We met an Amish tractor pull.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, it led to the friendship with Steve and I.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it took a little while before we actually realized that we were actually of different backgrounds, and even though we looked somewhat similar.
25:40
SPEAKER_01: And then the thing that kind of brought us together was uh Steve, I don't know if you remember, but I think you came over to my house and we had to shave.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, we were we were fairly young at that point, and and you had uh you wanted to use the electric razor, yeah.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: And I remember how excited you were using the electric razor.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: I was always an interesting thing.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to use yeah, and I wanted to use that electric massager because you know, you know, so I think you know common.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: I I think we both know why I wanted to use that thing.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: So that's really how it happened.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: That's how we became friends, and and we've been friends ever since.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: And we still get together every once in a while and shave and and plug in that massager, and and that's really kept us close.
26:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: I think we each have time for one more, maybe if we yeah, zip zip along here a little.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: This is for Stephen Jeff.
26:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm Aaron from Lincolnshire, Illinois.
26:33
SPEAKER_02: Lincolnshire, right?
26:34
SPEAKER_01: I know Lincolnshire well.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I know people in Lincolnshire.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: I think my question can be a touchy subject, but one thing I learned from listening to your podcast is that this is a safe space to express yourself.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, Aaron, we have had so many unusual and off-beat, if you will, opinions on this show.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's a totally safe space.
26:54
SPEAKER_02: So she says, I remember listening to your episode on furries and thought how open you were to different lifestyles and welcoming to all people.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, that's just that's how we are.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, and we like cats and dogs, right?
27:07
SPEAKER_02: Right, completely ecumenic.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't, we don't have a we don't have a dog in that fight, so to speak.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: No, we don't.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: Right.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: It was as if you were a blank slate and were hearing things for the first time.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: That wonderful attitude allows me to ask you this question without fear or judgment.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: So I'm a 40-year-old woman who has always been close to my parents.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: In fact, I still live just minutes away from them to this day.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: Recently, it seems like my dad is starting to forget things, like birthdays, appointments, names of his grandchildren, even my name.
27:42
SPEAKER_02: I try to broach the subject with him, but he gets very angry and is in total denial.
27:46
SPEAKER_02: I really think he has something wrong with him.
27:49
SPEAKER_02: He spends all day eating Captain Crunch in his underwear, pretending he is some kind of podcast celebrity.
27:56
SPEAKER_02: How do you suggest I get him to accept there is a problem and to get him some help?
28:01
SPEAKER_01: Aaron, I think the problem's with you.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: Because I just want to be honest and upfront, uh, he sounds like a wonderful man.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: And you know, who's not in love with Captain Crunch?
28:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: We all have our guilty cereals that we eat, and Captain Crunch is one of the best ones.
28:15
SPEAKER_01: All the lucky charms is is pretty darn good.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: But I'm but on the chance that I'm wrong, I would contact an expert and see what they think.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, ask people online, maybe go to your famous pot your favorite podcast and ask somebody there.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, Jeff, she sounds kind of familiar.
28:32
SPEAKER_02: That whole scenario she laid out sounds kind of familiar.
28:34
SPEAKER_02: And Aaron, kind of familiar name.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: It's funny because my daughter's name is Erin.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: And I just hope that if Erin ever needed help, that she would feel safe enough to come and ask me about it as her podcast expert or you know how we're related.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: I I think she's my daughter.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: I think you've been told.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, you've been told.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've been told.
28:55
SPEAKER_02: Jeff, you want to you want to take us into the last one here?
28:58
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: It's wonderful to be able to reach out to you every now and then for advice.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: I remember a while back I was very depressed and really thought my life wasn't worth living.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: But then I listened to one of your episodes, I think it was the Smash Davis episode, and realized that so many people who are living today are even more worthless than me.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: And that has been so helpful.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: See how see how helpful we are?
29:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: I love that, Steve.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: In me, that is what life is all about finding somebody worse than you to make you feel better.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, she says, um, recently I I have found myself in a dilemma.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: I've been married for 20 years to a good man, but recently we have drifted apart.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: We used to enjoy similar things like bowling and Greek food, but not recently.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: Plus, I have found myself looking at other men at times, wondering what it would be like to be with them in bed.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: You know, I know I've always liked bowling and Greek food, but if you throw the Euros right down the center, it they stick a little bit in the lanes.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: But but I digress.
30:03
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: I know this is normal for the mind to drift sometimes, especially since we've been married for so long.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to stay positive.
30:11
SPEAKER_01: I have asked them if we could go on a nice vacation to maybe rekindle that spark in our relationship.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: So my question is should we go to Wisconsin Dells or the Kentucky Lakes?
30:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm torn.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, excellent question.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: I would go with Cooperstown, New York.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: How about you, Jeff?
30:29
SPEAKER_01: I would go to either of those.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: I think that you're on the right track.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: Go somewhere where you can be outside and they have fudge.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: That's oh yeah.
30:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: And you know, they're gonna throw us out of eccentric gladian studios here in a second, but I think we need to get something nice for all these people that sent emails, took the time to write to us.
30:47
SPEAKER_02: So, Johnny, what do we have for all these nice people?
30:51
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, Johnny, oh Jeff, Johnny is having some trouble talking.
30:56
SPEAKER_02: I tell you what, we'll have some stuff.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: We'll just we'll mail it to you, okay?
31:00
SPEAKER_02: Just just sit tight, don't worry, and and please keep those emails coming in.
31:04
SPEAKER_02: We love hearing from our listeners.