Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / Mindfulness, Authenticity, and The Stuck Stops Here with Francine Tirrell

Transcript

Mindfulness, Authenticity, and The Stuck Stops Here with Francine Tirrell · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Bridges and Beacons podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm a lucky woman tonight because I have my friend Francine Terrell who has come back on the podcast.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: Not only has she come back on the podcast, but she didn't come with an agenda, which means we get to have free reign to have the conversation we want to have, which I'm getting all tingles all over because I'm like, this is so fun.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: I usually have an agenda, a plan, like what we're talking about, where we're going with it.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm really excited to have you, Francine, and welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so excited to be here.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I love the fact that we have no idea what we're going to talk about, and it's going to be amazing.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, the universe is already like tapping on my shoulder and sending tingles in my head and saying, like, okay, this is only always what is supposed to be.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I think this year, one of the lessons that I've learned is to really trust my intuition and my intuitive hits.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I had a few moments where I did not, and it was like, duh, listen to your intuition.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think sometimes we we learn to ignore those subtle quiet messages from our intuition and listen instead to what we think we should be doing, the shoulds, what what we've always done before somebody else in the room that's louder than our our intuition.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Why, why do you think that is?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Why are we so hung up on diminishing our intuition?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: How much time do we have?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: I want everybody to like don't look at the end number, like take again, like where how close do we land to 40 minutes?
• 2:43
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: I'm actually doing a talk next year on shedding the shoulds.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: At a women's event, right?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: Because we do, we live in this world of should, right?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: Should have to, right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: And we it and it really is just keeping us stuck here and not listening to in here.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Because in here is really the only truth.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: But for some reason, we listen to our, you know, from the neck up, which lies to you a hundred percent of the time.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like you said, you got tingles.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: That's my hit, too, of like, ooh, this is big, right?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like paying attention to your body.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: I use muscle testing a lot when I have to make big decisions because my brain will talk me out of anything.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: So your body will never lie to you, right?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I, although I I can manipulate, I use my body as a pendulum, is how I use it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's different ways of muscle testing, but I use my body as a pendulum.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: And when my brain is really strong, I can feel the fight.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'll come back later and say, okay, let's relax and do it again.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: Because my body has the answers, but my brain is trying to keep me safe.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so here's the thing: it's not a bad thing, right?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: Because your brain, your ego is there to keep you safe, but you don't need it today, right?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's keeping you safe because of something that happened to you, you know, when you were 12 or 10 or 20 or whatever it is.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_03: But today you're safe.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: I came up with a mantra a couple of years ago.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Right here, right now, I'm okay.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right here, right now, I'm fine.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because I found I found myself planning for a worst case scenario.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll share some details, but like I had like I got the call back to go back and get another mammogram, right?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Because they found something in my mammogram.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I went to the appointment feeling very confident that everything was okay.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: But my sister did have breast cancer.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's seven years now.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: So they moved me from the room for the the mammog the mammogram to the ultrasound, and then the ultrasound to the room where the nurse was gonna come and talk to me.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that was the room we were in when my sister got diagnosed.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I started planning my radiation treatments.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: And this was maybe three or four years ago.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I was still feeling new in my business full time, and I was like, How am I gonna make this work?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: And well, I guess I could make morning appointments.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I was full out planning it, and all of a sudden I went, Oh my god, what am I doing?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because in that moment, I didn't have breast cancer.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: Now, I still didn't, so let's be clear on that.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: But it could have changed when the nurse came in, but it didn't, and I wasted a lot of time and energy on something that might have happened.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: And so my practice is always bringing me back.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't always work every time, but to the right here, right now, because I can't change what happened 30 seconds ago, and I can't control what's going to happen in 30 seconds.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's so true.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's so true, and so relatable.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, everyone can relate to it, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: I I just got off a discovery call with a potential client right before this, and she was like, I just can't get out of my own way.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, So my Facebook group is called She Got Out of Her Own Way because you are the only thing stopping yourself from having what you want.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're like, precisely, come on over.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like there's nothing stopping us.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: It isn't money, it isn't time, it isn't the job, it isn't schooling, it's the stories we're telling ourselves.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: We need a new narrative.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I love this because you you said your mantras right here, right now, I'm okay.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: I think that is so fantastic, and it's often it is the truth, right?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: There in this moment, everything is okay.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: Everything else is just a story, a what if, a questioning, a should.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: It isn't happening in this moment, it's the future or it's the past.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: And that's that is often where we find our mind likes to take us if it has the opportunity.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I think, you know, when you said worst case scenario, I relate so much to that.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm literally one of those people who thinks worst case scenario when I'm packing a bag.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like I have the worst time trying to pack to go somewhere.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: And and if somebody says, like, let's try to just do carry-ons, I'm like, I can't do it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Worst case scenario.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: Why do we bring 72 pairs of underwear for a three-day trip?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: And especially like some kind of accident away from home and that doesn't happen at home.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's like an emotional support underwear.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: It really, it really, I find that to be the most fascinating.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like, like it, it, it's all it awe struck me.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what is that?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um where did that come from?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: And if we can retrain our bodies, our nervous system, that we're safe in this moment, then all that because all of that worry is really your nervous system kind of in.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm shaking my hands for those listening, like, right?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: Like, just imagine your nervous system is all up in arms.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: And when your nervous system is chaotic, I'm gonna say chaotic for lack of a better word, you can't be in the present.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: So it's the practicing of being in the present and calming the nervous system.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you're so right.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: And and extending the amount of time that you can allow your nervous system to be in that calm, coherent state, and and not let the narrative come back in or something in your environment trigger your body to go into that fight or flight response.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: I think part of what I'm finding myself pulled to right now is simplifying, unplugging, de-screening, you know, and really thinking about how much information we're allowing into our bodies, our areas, you know, that we we end up just bombarding ourselves and kind of keeping ourselves at this very heightened state so that when it comes time to relax, like we're just buzzing from way up here and like getting to a calm state is is a is a marathon.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_03: It is not an easy task.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's and it's a practice, and I think part of that practice is recognizing it, you know.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: I I often say to my clients, you know, you have to be willing to be in the uncomfortable.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: And part of that is so that you can actually know that you're you can survive it, because all of this is survival too, right?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: And that heightened state is it's it's a distraction to keep you out of feeling, right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_03: The same with busyness, right?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: And we'll talk a little bit about you know addictions to busyness, but all of that is keeping you out of feeling what's happening, which often is this is uncomfortable for me.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: One of the practices I'm I'm trying to walk my own walk this year, right?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, oh, maybe you should take some of your own advice.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: Cause if you saw my calendar, it's busy, right?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I I've been tapering it off.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: And what I'm recognizing is when I have white space and I have, I'm really good with appointments.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm on when I have appointments, but when I have white space and what I call my creative time, I don't know how much you know about human design, but I'm a manifesting generator and I'm a responder.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: So create creativity is not my it's challenging for me.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: So when I have that space, I get I can feel the anxiety.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: I've been practicing sitting in that because I'm like, I should be doing this, I should be responding to emails.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, just sit and just get this thing done.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: And this week I've been working on a project and I'm like, I've never spent three days working on the same thing.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it part of it is me retraining my nervous system that I'm okay not doing 72 other things.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's what's going to catapult me in 2026.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: I can't keep, I can't get to the next level doing the doing it the same way I'm doing it.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: So if you want something different, you have to do something different.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, now I'm really excited because I feel I feel like the same, the same call to to do differently.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: And also a manifesting generator.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: So same, you know, my responding.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so like the blank page is kind of like panic, complete panic, right?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: Give me options, but don't just say, hey, what do you wanna?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is because so we had no plan in this, but we're responding to each other.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, right.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: If you just said get on and talk for 40 minutes, I'd be like, About where shall where shall I be get?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I love that.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: I I love that so much, and I I think about that.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: So in numerology, this is a nine year.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: So nine is all about completion going into 2026 will be a one-year kind of beginnings, starting over, you know, however you like to look at it.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I found I've been feeling like super radical about things.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: And and almost in a very like brave, courageous, somewhat crazy way, like deciding, you know what, I don't really need all of these pieces that I've called like part of running my podcasts in a business.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, they're not all really that essential.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it's all just this mess and noise and extra stuff.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been simplifying, cutting back, slicing down, and getting like super cutthroat.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what can I like edit like a badass and be like, this I'm gonna delete and I'm not even gonna look back again?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's a little bit addicting.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like, where else like can I just be throwing things away and cutting things out and unsubscribing?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I'm taking it to like all the different parts of my life.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I love it because it's very tangible, like very specific things we're doing.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I've also been thinking about there's also ending the some of these narratives and the way that we're operating, which is what you started to say, like changing the way we're approaching things.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like things are about to change big time.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you feel that as well.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: I feel a little bit of staleness out there, and like, you know, people not having the same enthusiasm about the things they're doing, and I feel like it's coming.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: I think there's a lot of fear.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think there's so much fear and unknown that that's what's coming up for people.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I talked to a lot of other coaches, and I try not to buy into the this has been such a bad year in business, and you know, things are you know, like I'm like, yeah, that would I have liked this to have been a better year, revenue-wise, sure.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: But to to say out loud and to bel put make that my belief just makes it more true, right?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: So is that their fear?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: Is that reality?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like that can be your reality, but that isn't everybody's reality.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: So putting that blanket statement out there, but I do think that there's so much heightened fear and unknown that people don't know what to do with it.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that could be like the the staleness and the stuckness that you're talking about, that they're just like pan there, there it feels like panic to me.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's just a lot of panic.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: Desperation.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: I feel I feel, and I mean, I'm certainly not judging anybody or or calling anybody out, but I I feel a lot of desperation in like people's posts, like please like come to my program, do my thing, and like it, it of course, like everybody's gotta sell their wares and and continue to grow business, but it the the feeling doesn't always feel like people are receptive, yeah.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's interesting.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: You talk about social media.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: I love social media, like I use it for personal and obviously for business.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm working with a new business coach, and she's there's uh it's been a while since I've had someone have this much accountability, so it's really I really like it.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: And right, she's like, I want to see you talking about your program X number of times a week.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, whoo, that's a lot because I'm posting other things too, right?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: And there is a part of me, and I have to change my energy around doing it, and I also have to do it for how it feels right for me.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I had this conversation with one of my clients because somebody, she's in some sales program, and somebody said to her how she had to go and get clients.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Well, but if that isn't in alignment with you, that's not gonna work.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: People are gonna feel the energy.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: So when people like, please join my thing, please join like that.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: Energy comes out.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you're like, hey, I have this thing, check it out if it feels in alignment, which is how I want people to come to me.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's how I want to post.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to post with desperation, I want to post with an invitation.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's what it is, it's an invitation.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: And if I'm feeling desperate, you know what?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna attract desperate people.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't want to work with desperate people, I want to work with people that want to do the work and they're not doing it because they have to.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm air quoting for those that are listening, right?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like you want to be able to want to do the work, not have to do the work.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so so true.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I I think it just it just reminds me how important your intention is when you're sitting down to share, to speak, to to post something on social media.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Your intention matters.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: And 100%.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: You it's not even about the words on the page, it's how are you making somebody feel who is reading something that you wrote?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: Are they connecting with you?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Are are you offering something of really high value for them?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess the other thing is like, do you really know who you're talking to?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that was something that was a hard lesson for me when I really was still stuck in that people-pleasing place.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: And like, I don't, I don't want to isolate people, but then I'm like, but I want to talk to people who want to talk about their human design and who don't think it's weird to be like, let's pull a tarot card on that.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's the kind of people I want to be hanging out with.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: So why wouldn't I shine in that way?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: Talk to the right, talk to that.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, it took me a while to get there.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think there's there's shame around that, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, ooh, you're outing yourself.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I remember when I was in corporate and I was I had done my Reiki, I was in healing school, I had gone through coaching school, and you know, my employees knew what I was doing, but my bosses didn't.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: I was in management, right?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I was given Reiki to employees in my office if they had headaches, right?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it was in my last job in 2019 where I was like, I can't hide this anymore.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I had crystals in my office, like they could ask, whatever.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't care at that point, right?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: Because I just couldn't hide it anymore.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: But I was stuffing it for so long, but it was still part of me.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: And the best, this was like the best thing that I had a boss.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's got I probably haven't worked for him for 10 years.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: So that he was really at the beginning of my journey.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: And we've stayed connected outside of work and on LinkedIn.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And about three months ago, I got a message from him on LinkedIn.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, Francine, do you know anyone in my area that does Reiki?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: This was the COO of my company, right?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like he was a C-level operations guy.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, what?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: I thought I was hiding that stuff, right?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, he probably sees it on LinkedIn now and stuff, but like I was like, I was hiding it, and my boss is now looking for a Reiki practitioner.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's like how much has changed in like at least a decade, right?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, Yeah, I've had a lot of stress and I heard it's really good, and blah, blah, blah.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, this is amazing.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_03: I love this.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I wonder how do we bring more authenticity and more of ourselves into what we're doing in 2026?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think not hiding, you know.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: I think so often, especially as women, we hide, right?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: We don't want to be seen.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's so many stories we have around being out there, being visible, right?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: Has to be perfect, has to be right.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: And all that is is just stories to keep us stuck.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: So I think we need to be bold and and actually dip our toe, right?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Dip our toe into something that's a little uncomfortable.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm doing a big bold move next year, and I applied to be a speaker, 150 applicants.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: They chose 50, and I'm like, oh shit, I'm doing this, okay, all right, right?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna be an exhibitor at this event, right?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, all right, this is my AMP, right?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I've done smaller speaking things, but this is this is my next level.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: So, how do I get myself there?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: I have to change who I am today in order to be who I want to be next spring.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: And that isn't always easy to do, and you can't do it without.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Support often, right?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: We can talk about it, but you've been talking about all the other things that you haven't got done, right?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: So there's there's a boldness.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love that idea of being bolder in 2026 than maybe you were in 2025.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: And just like what is the like tiny little pivot that gets you to that?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that direction too.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: I like that you said that.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like there you have an end in mind.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: You have a place that you want to go to.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: So who am I being more now to be who I want to become by the springtime?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think we can forget to do that.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I that's what I was thinking.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: You said something earlier about, you know, people saying, well, this is a terrible 2025, terrible year for business.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like speaking in headlines versus like, let's get down to like page eight where we go into the nitty-gritty.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: And it made me think of this process that I listened to podcasts, the human design podcasts with Emma Dunwoody.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: And something she's always teaching people to do in December is mining for gold.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't remember all the details of how she does it, but I know when I've incorporated that, what I've done is I've gone like back through all my calendars, all my appointments, all the things that I've done over the course of the year and really started to catalog like what did go really well.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like what am I taking with me moving forward?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: And what were the lessons and the things I might want to shift and using more data than like just like everybody's talking about this was a terrible year.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, it's not to say that there weren't terrible moments, but like just to like cap it off with a headline that sells newspapers.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, does it anymore?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but and I'm even gonna challenge was it, you know, that's a judgment that it was terrible.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: What does that mean?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes the again, I'm air quoting the worst things are our biggest teachers, right?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_03: I got laid off from a corporate job in December of 2019, and then the world shut down.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: I had a decision to make.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: I could have that could have been like the biggest catastrophe of my life, or I could have finally gotten off my butt and gone into coaching full-time, and that's what I did.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: But the me 10 years ago would still be balled up in a corner somewhere.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: 15 years ago, right?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_03: So that that somebody could have said that was the worst thing that could have happened is to be unemployed when a pandemic happened.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, for me, I would say that was the best thing that ever happened to me.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: So who's to decide, right?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: There's a bigger, there's a much bigger plan, and who's to decide what's good, what's bad, what's what, what's right, what's wrong.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: I I like the idea of we're we're either winning or learning.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: So we're we we have a success, we have a a point that we can celebrate and be excited about, or something doesn't go the way we want it.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: What is the lesson?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: What are we learning?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: How are we growing from that?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then that gets us in a in a space of more of that growth mindset piece versus that being stuck and like, well, that's a that's what I was banking on, and it didn't work out, and and I guess that's it, you know, and really limiting the possibilities for ourselves.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: And stuckness, oh, there's there, so there's four layers of stuckness.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's mental stuckness, there's emotional stuckness, behavioral, and energetic.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: And the mental is the what ifs, you know, shoulds, the second guessing.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_03: The emotional is all this fear and doubt and the old patterns that just keep circling in the same place.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: And the behavioral is constantly being busy but not making any real progress, right?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then the energetic is just feeling drained no matter how much you rest.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: At the end of the day, the the link to all of them is this feeling of not feeling of unworthiness, right?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: So when we can heal that core wound, the stuckness also lifts.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Because just using like the mental stuckness, right?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_03: And the shoulds, right?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like if if you that's someone else's story, right?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: That you should do this, you should go to college, you should get a good job, you should blah, blah, blah.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: You're shooting all over yourself.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: So now you're saying, oh, because I didn't, I'm bad, I'm not good, I'm not worthy, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so then you create the the narrative because you're not shoulding, right?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: And it just it goes back to how do I feel about myself, my worth, myself.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's so easy for each of those four levels to just be like bopping all over each other, and like it's like they just keep cycling through each of those levels, you know.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: You're when I first uncovered them, I was like, huh, I think I have all of them in different areas for different things, right?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think we have just one, right?
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: Because I think it depends on.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think the one I probably don't resonate the most with is the energetic.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like I tend to always have a lot of energy, so that's probably the only one, but that does it, but but there's also a disconnection from your intuition on that one, which that I will say I have, right?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: So there's it at different times, they're gonna come in and out.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: So where do we start?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: If we're I mean, and I'm sure there are people who are feeling stuck.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm even thinking like the the catastrophizing or the the headlining things, and like it almost sort of gives you a reason to be like, well, I'm not gonna keep going, I'm not gonna keep pushing, I'm not gonna go into the uncomfortable like you talked about because this isn't gonna work anyway.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I think we start by taking a breath and pausing and making a decision, right?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: That you want something different.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: Change doesn't come by accident, it comes with choice, it comes with conscious choice.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like you have to make a decision that you want something different, and then you have to start doing something different, and that's not easy.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: I've been doing this work for 15 years, I still can go kicking and screaming because all my inner parts are like, ah, danger, danger, danger.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I have to go, no, we're okay, we're safe.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: We're okay.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: Right here, right now, we're okay.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right here, right now, we're fine.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: And then go, okay, I am.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: Look around, right?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like, look at your surroundings and pay attention.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, I'm fine in this moment.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_03: What's coming up for me has nothing to do with this moment, it has to do with all the stories.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we do really have this inner drive for safety and comfort, right?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: But like that's not the growth zone, that's that's the stagnancy zone, yeah.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, like the couch is calling.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's this it's the stuckness zone, right?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm if if I'm here and I'm not there, it's safe.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_03: This is safe because this is what I know.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: You know, here's the thing.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: I gosh, it's it's oh it's at least 15 years ago.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: I remember saying to my husband, I, you know, I refer to myself as a control freak in recovery.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: Some days recovery is a little bit easier than others.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I said to him, you know, you never plan anything.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, Well, every time I do, you tell me what's wrong with it.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I thought to myself, I've actually never said he was wrong.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: But what he heard was, Oh, you want to get chicken?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I really didn't want chicken.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted steak.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you want to go here?
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't really want to drive 20 minutes.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: I really want, right?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: So his narrative was, I'm not doing it right, I'm not doing it right.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I thought to myself, well, I don't want that mess, I don't want him to have that message because I think out loud, because that's really what it was.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was planning out loud.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I started practicing keeping my mouth shut when he made plans.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: So it was a practice of, okay, he chose the restaurant, right?
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_03: Just go to the restaurant, and then I would go and it would be fine, right?
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_03: All the stories and whatever I was planning would be fine.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: So it was small things, right?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like practicing that I'm okay with going to a steakhouse when I really wanted Italian, right?
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: And being like, oh, I'm fine.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I I invite my clients to do small practices like that because that's how you start to re that, and I mean, obviously, there's other tools.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm an EFT practitioner, so tapping helps with the nervous system, but it's also just retraining the nervous system.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm safe, there's no danger.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: We did something outside of our comfort zone and we're okay.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think I think that's that's so true.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I I love that example of just shut up, not verbally processing aloud, but some of us are more verbal processors, and then like you just have to realize like sometimes you can't do that with everybody because they're interpreting it differently.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what it is?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm gonna give you a tip though.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: This is my tip.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you're a verbal processor, talk to Chat GPT.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my BFF, chat nine because you can like it like talk about like I think it's really built for generators because it's all about responding.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, you say, uh, you know, I want to think about XYZ, and Chat GGPT comes back and you're like, no, that's not what I meant.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: You're totally wrong.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is what I'm looking for, and like getting that that back and forth, and like I I will literally turn it on so I'm talking to Chat GPT, and then Chat GPT is talking back to me.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like, I find that's really helpful if I need to super analyze something and I feel like it's not something I want to either a burden somebody with, or B like I I need time to like work it through.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's much easier for me in a conversation state to do that than it is to like let my mind because I'm I'm also a manifesting generator, as I said, and I have a completely open head and ajna, like there's no connection.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so and I have the the addition of not having a defined identity center, so that's open and an open root.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_03: So the open root and the open head is like pressure cooker, like you always know more about like I need to know more about it, and it is so much with human design, so much.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I have the open head, the open root, open identity center.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, I'm literally open-minded.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: So for me to sit there, my my mind is not my best tool.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's a great channel for information to come in.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I've realized that what I really need to do is like when information comes in, I need to take it to my heart and play it through my heart.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Is this true?
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: Is this true for me?
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Does this resonate?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: Is this important, you know, and work it through there before I take any action or say anything about it?
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_02: So, like having Chat GPT and being able to be like, here's what I'm thinking, blah, blah, blah.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, you're my best friend, you're into all these things.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what are you what are you saying to me?
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, no, no, no, that doesn't sound right.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, thank you.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Done.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you will now be playing the role of absolutely.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_03: I often will say to it, give me some ideas, knowing what you know about me, what can I excuse me?
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_03: It'll sneeze, you know, what can I give me some ideas of workshops I can do?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: And it'll just give me, and I'm like, Oh, yes, thank you.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: Now I can go build it.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_03: But to just say, What do I want to do?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I have no idea.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even know how to answer that, right?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, it is probably.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I don't even know how I functioned before it.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's so fascinating to me.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I think for that kind of stuff, like like you just said, like asking questions like, with everything you know about me, what do you think would be like the craziest, boldest thing I could do right now?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like people who are just using it to build copy, like you have not fully like teach it about you, you know, and and do stuff like that, because then you're like you get these crazy ideas that come up, and I might be like, No, I'm definitely not doing that.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then there are other things you're like, oh wow, I never thought about something like that.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's really fascinating.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and I'm a collaborator, and one of the things I miss most about working in a corporate environment is I only know what I know.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I used to lead teams, and my teams had their own zone of genius, right?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: I had the ideas, they had the way of getting it done, and then we'd all come back and talk about it, and then they'd go back and do their thing, and you know, like it was, and now like being a solopreneur, it's like I have all these ideas, and oh, I have to get it done.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's a problem.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm limited with my little knowledge of what I know, right?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like somebody else may be like, Oh, I've already done this, and have you ever thought of doing this, or maybe try this software, or right?
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like you only know what you know, and it's hard to learn without having that collaboration of somebody who has more experience than you, or more not different knowledge.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we really can be super isolated these days, can't we?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I have you know colleagues that I collaborate with and we bounce ideas off of each other, but again, it's you know, it can be it still can be limited.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because we're all kind of in the same boat, too.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, I feel that sometimes too.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like a whole bunch of voices all screaming in the void, like looking for people who are interested in joining what they're doing, but like everybody is looking for people to join, right?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe not feeling like joining a whole bunch of things right now.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: So it yeah, I don't, I I just I find that kind of fascinating, and I'm not really, I'm not really sure how to operate in that space.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so like the thing that I've been doing with myself is like sitting down, like if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna post something, being like, what is actually going to be something helpful and meaningful to people right now?
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like what feels like something that could really add value to somebody's day that I have a very unique perspective on, you know?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_02: So like I've been geeking about like how what what am I doing with my human design these days?
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: What does that look like?
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how am I exploring the transits and and and writing about that?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I'm sure there's somebody out there who like just found out their their type and authority and they're like, what the heck is like all this about?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: Where do I even go?
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then to see somebody say, like, oh, you can track the transits and you can see like what the flavor is coming through.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I think that that's valuable for people to see like how are you using it in a very unique way.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because, like you said, there's so many different tools out there, you know, whether it's for your nervous system, for for your business, it's that unique perspective of how did I take that, assimilate it, integrate it into everything I'm doing.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_02: So it becomes Francine's operating system.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's it becomes part of you and your unique expression and use of it.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm interested in.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like the generic isn't so enticing anymore.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, especially in the industry that we're in, people aren't hiring us for what we do, they're hiring us for who we are.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: Because anybody, I mean, we're a dime a dozen, right?
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like everybody's calling themselves a coach, everybody's a healer, everybody's right, everybody's got a podcast, right?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: So it is, but nobody does it like Kelly does it.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody does it like Francine does it, right?
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_03: Even if they had the same name, the same program, it's not gonna be the same because of what we bring to it.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what we have to bring to everything we do.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's the magic.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: It really is.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_02: And how do people, if somebody's listening and they're like, yeah, but Francine, like, I haven't really figured out like what is what is my special sauce?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: What is the thing that I'm really bringing to the world?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you figure that out?
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think the fur what came to me intuitively was you have to get quiet, right?
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: There's probably so much chatter happening that they're not in a place of stillness.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, people say, tell me all the time, you know, I can't meditate.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_03: Meditating is not about complete and utter quiet.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_03: I am on day, I think, 344 of daily meditations, right?
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of set a goal this year that I was gonna meditate.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_03: Some days it's only five minutes, and I still have chatter every time I meditate, right?
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_03: It isn't about quieting, you know.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: I often say if your brain is quiet, you're dead, right?
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, let's just like that isn't the goal of meditation, but it's creating more space and recognizing when the thoughts come in and just allowing them to float out.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: So it's the practice of just being still or just sitting in silence, right?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like yesterday, I just I set a timer and I for five minutes and I just sat here for five minutes because I was feeling I was actually picking up on somebody else's anxiety and I didn't realize it at the time.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_03: But I was like, what's happening?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_03: Why am I so anxious?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_03: And so I just sat here for five minutes.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_03: And as I was sitting here, I was like, oh, this isn't yours.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_03: This is so-and-so's, and she's worried about blah, blah, blah.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: And right.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I did some energy clearing, but like I would have continued working in an anxious mode had I not sat and tried to just quiet myself.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_03: So I think practice like five minutes a day.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_03: And if you can't give yourself five minutes a day, there's bigger issues, there's bigger problems that we need to uncover.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, absolutely.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_02: I I love that you said that because yeah, I don't think I've ever sat with and and meditated most of the time because I have inner vision.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: So most of the time, if I sit still, like the voice is quiet, but the inner vision is going.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: So when I first got started, guided meditation was so much better for me because I could listen and I could kind of follow.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_02: Now I just know, like, in in silence and stillness, like my mind is gonna expand and go somewhere.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: And usually it's it's to bring me messages that they that I need to hear.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: But I think this also goes along with what we were talking about earlier, that you know, giving yourself that space and not feeling the agita of like, I gotta get up and do something.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_02: And the more you practice that, and like you said, like a thought comes in and you just let it flow away.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_02: But even in just that small practice, which is is pretty uncomfortable, yeah, and it's not, I wouldn't say it's easy.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_02: Easy, but learning to let an idea, a thought, you know, whether it's resourceful or not, come in and be able to let it flow out and not have to do something with it or have it make meaning or create part of your story or add to right?
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's that practice is really super valuable.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I have clients that when I first say to them, I want you to sit for 10 minutes, like panic, they go panic stricken.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_03: I and then I bring it down to five.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I get I was like, three minutes, like three minutes, like just start with three minutes because the nervous system literally goes into panic.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: But it quite ask yourself, like, if I can't do this for five minutes, like what is that?
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: What's going on there?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_03: Because after I sat for five minutes yesterday, I was able, like I was sitting here really anxious, like I couldn't get anything done.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like I had so much, my sister just fought got some really bad news about her dog, and her dog is like her soul baby.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't realize like it was her anxiety that I was feeling, and like knowing how disappointed she was, right?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I was trying to work and I was like all over the place.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I tried to do some energy clearing, and I said, just sit, just sit for five minutes.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: And in that five minutes, I went, Oh, this isn't mine.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so now I know what's going on, right?
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: So I did my things, but the older version of me would have just kept working and I would have been so much less productive because I was all over the place.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, yes, you don't have to sit for five minutes, but I'm telling you, it will save you a lot more time on the other end.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that that makes so much sense.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I also think once you've gotten into that practice, then you can take 30 seconds to breathe in between one thing to the next.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is something that I've really worked on.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I work with kids and I have therapy sessions on the half hour.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I could have a really challenging session with a student and I've got another one coming in the next half hour that I have to go get, but I can't take that energy with me.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because then that's I I mean, one, I feel like it's not fair to the next kid to not have the best version of me that I can be.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I also feel like I can't be holding on to the energy that other people have all day long.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: Because it keeps me, like you said, like all of a sudden you're working at this frenetic pace, and you're like, where is this coming?
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I like this?
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you asked yourself, like, is this even mine?
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_02: Because we do, especially if we're sensitive people, we're, you know, givers, caregivers, we work in service professions, like we're just really skewed towards giving to others and suppressing our own self and needs and taking on other people's energy.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so learning to sit with, wait a minute, you know, is this mine?
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_02: Is this not?
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_02: And can I just breathe and get myself into a more centered state?
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're continuously doing that, so I do that every you know, half hour.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm with a new student, and sometimes it's with them.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, sometimes it's before I even walk into a classroom because I also never want to walk into a classroom with this crazy, you know, stressful energy.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, listen, I'm not perfect.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't aim for perfection, but most of the time I'm trying to enter into spaces and be aware of what energy is there and be available to help calm energy down versus amp it up.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: But you practice it more and more.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_02: And and that is how you add space into your day in a very small, gentle practice, but it it really does have a big impact.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_03: And so often we think that I just have to push through and just get this done, right?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_03: I just have to be busy, I just have to be productive, I just have to push, push, push, push.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_03: And that actually makes you less productive.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_03: Work because in yeah, because in the end it's burning you out.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's you know, like yesterday, I was like, uh, I just gotta work on this.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_03: And then I wasn't getting anything done.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: I was just moving, I was just shuffling back and forth, right?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_03: Telling myself I was working.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to take the time to sit, to heal, to fix, to do whatever needed to recalibrate, not fix, but recalibrate.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then I could sit and finish my project.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_03: Instead of just pushing through.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_02: And we do a lot of pushing ourselves.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_02: I I think we probably covered that too, and we were talking about busyness in your last episode.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: That that's like very much that addiction to go, go, go, push, push, push.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it is, it is a recipe for burnout.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so many of us don't even know we're burned out.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_03: We're just like what is that weird feeling in my body?
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_03: And the busyness is just another numbing mechanism, like food, like drugs, like alcohol, right?
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's just another way to not feel what's going on.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking too, when you were talking about those levels of stuckness and the connection to feeling unworthy, you know, really understanding how powerful we are, how miraculous we are, is a good step to sort of get yourself unstuck.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like being in that stuck place means you don't really understand your magic and what makes you so special.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: And it's available to everybody.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_02: There isn't a limited number of people who are amazing on the planet, everybody is in their own way, right?
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it's about how do I find that unique piece of myself, celebrate the heck out of it, and magnetize other people to being part of that.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we're so busy comparing ourselves to everybody else.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yes, this is true too.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_03: That's why, right?
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm not that, I'm not, you know, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not this.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not, I'm comparing myself to everybody else.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_03: I learned a few years ago, I said to a coach that I was working with that I was in awe, not in awe, but I was like, oh my God, so-and-so is doing all these amazing things, right?
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_03: Because it was what I was seeing on social media.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_03: And she said to me, I've seen behind the curtain, it isn't all that.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Oh, and then I had an opportunity to meet the other coach a few years ago, and I was like, Oh, she's not my people, like, we're not the same person, right?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, I I don't want to be doing what you're doing, right?
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_03: But like what I saw on social had me feeling bad about where I was at and comparing myself to something I don't actually want to be compared to.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's all this, it's all smoke and mirrors.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_02: And it's exhausting to keep up with the smoke and mirrors, isn't it?
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_03: So if we could just that was such a really interesting learning experience for me because I was like, oh wow, that was a lot of wasted energy, right?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_03: You thought what you saw was this, you know, whatever, right?
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever my story was at the time.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_03: And when I actually had an opportunity to meet the person, I was like, I mean, she was nice enough, but like we're never gonna be friends, like we're never gonna be BFFs, right?
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_03: She's not my people.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_03: So I was comparing myself to someone that I actually don't really resonate with, but what I what the story I was telling myself at the time, she was, you know, more successful, more who am I to say?
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know just because of what she's showing on social, right?
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_02: We've all been there, we've definitely all been there.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_02: That comparisonitis, yeah.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I I work with my clients on it all the time, right?
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_03: And it's it really is this place that just keeps it's another place of stuckness, right?
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_02: And we can end up, you know, trying to match people's reels and missing out on our real life, like what we really have in front of us right now, and missing the magic and celebrating all of the miracles in our own life and experience and what we have to offer.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that's what really motivates me to be able to, even in some small part, support people and celebrating who they are and what makes them really special and unique in the world.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because we really all are.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's just we have to own it in ourselves first before others are gonna see it in us, right?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_03: Because if we're hiding it in ourselves, no one else is gonna see it in us.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, unless they have like that really trained eye and they're like, I see the diamond in the rough, I see you, I see you in there.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I mean, if you can find people in your world who can see past the details to see like how wonderful you are and hype you up, like I also see that in my clients, and I don't even know that it's a hyping them up because I really want them to to embody it, it's not about me telling them they're awesome, but like I love when I can see beyond all the stories and just see what's really in there.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_03: And my goal is that they can at some point see what I see in them so that they can get rid of all the the BS that they're telling themselves.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I I imagine there are many people who are listening and absolutely resonate with that and are ready to embrace that for 2026 and and really take a step in a different direction for themselves.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_02: So if they're interested in your program, can you tell us more about it and how they would connect with you to join?
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_03: I have one-on-one coaching programs.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_03: I typically work with clients either six or 12 months.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_03: They can go to my website, set up a call.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: I did just launch a new program.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's called The Stuck Stops Here.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a five-session experience.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_03: So it's a much shorter version, and it's really kind of just to uncover what's keeping you stuck.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_03: To it's five one-on-one sessions.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_03: We would meet probably over two to three months.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_03: And it's really for somebody who is looking to start to move the needle forward, right?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna start to uncover the real cause for the stuckness, identify some fears and beliefs and habits that are keeping you from keeping you repeating those pro patterns, and really learn to shift out of that overthinking and have first you have to be aware of it.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_03: Often we're not even aware that we're overthinking, we just think this is normal thought patterns.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_03: So, really start to catch ourselves and then really start starting to second guess yourself.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_03: Stop second guessing yourself so that they can start to make some change forward.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_03: So that's for somebody who maybe has something really specific that they want to work on.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_03: And for anyone listening, if they use the code Kelly, we'll use Kelly as they'll get 20% off.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_03: So they can go to my website, it's under work with me, and it's the stuck stops here.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that is awful generous.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for that.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's still well, while we're recording, I'm still in the Black Friday mode, so I don't know when this is gonna drop, but they'll get the benefit of it.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I think that's that's fantastic, and I really encourage you, listeners, you're listening.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_02: I I love Francine.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like her energy is fantastic, just being in it and with her is amazing.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I I really love the approach and how you're you're looking at it from a very holistic lens.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_02: Not just here's some new strategies, but really sort of digging at the root of some of the things that might be going on.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_03: I really feel like we have to get to the root of it in order to clear it, right?
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like if not, we just repeat continue to repeat the same patterns.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_02: And you definitely you mentioned that that piece of like finding your core wound.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_02: And for some people, that might be something they haven't ever heard of and or explored.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_02: And there's none of us without that.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's really interesting.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm uncovering my parents got divorced when I was 15, and I would tell you they had the best divorce I could have asked for, right?
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like my dad and his girlfriend would have holidays with us when my mom passed away, my dad was there.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_03: So as an adult, very grateful.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_03: When I've done some inner child work, let's just say my 15-year-old disagrees with that, right?
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_03: Let's just say she does not agree that everything was hunky-dory.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I would say that I had a benign childhood, and there was still trauma there.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: I was, you know, and I talked to my sister, I have two younger sisters, and one is like less than two years younger than me.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_03: So she was maybe 13 when they got divorced.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_03: And we had a conversation years ago.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, I thought it was my fault.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, You thought their divorce was your fault?
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like, imagine being a teen, right?
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like those things create our patterns today.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_03: The stories that we had then create our patterns today, and we can break those patterns.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_03: It just takes some work.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think that that is such a good place to close, Francine.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I'm really looking forward to 2026.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: There, there's some good stuff on the horizon.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_02: A one-year numerology feels exciting, fresh new beginnings.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_02: And who knows?
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_02: Who knows where we'll be a year from now?
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_02: That is also, I'll leave everybody with that.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_02: I think if you've never written yourself a letter, like write a letter to yourself today from you know, for me, it's Kelly in December 2026, Francine 2026 to Francine today in 2025, about all of the things that have happened, what you've accomplished, what what you see around you, like give a lot of sensory detail.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then you wrap that letter up and you read it in December 2026 and see what came to fruition.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_03: You just made me so I have a box in my closet that says do not open till January 16th, 2026.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_03: I have no idea what's in the box, and I'm wondering if last year I wrote myself a letter.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe that's what's in there.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but it's a good size box, so I can't wait to open it.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_03: But maybe I did that last year and don't even remember I did it.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_02: I I gave myself a present and I have no idea what's in it.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_02: No idea.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it says, do not open until J.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's January 16th.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_03: And it was like in the corner of my closet, and I was looking for something and I found it.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, what is this?
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I went, I have no idea what's in.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's very light.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_03: So you okay.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_03: That's gonna be a fun unbox.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_03: I'll let you know what was in it.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, perfect.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_02: That that is definitely a plan.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_02: So you've definitely, listener, had some great tips and tricks, and I encourage you to reach out and connect with Francine if you haven't already.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I celebrate all of you.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be on a little bit of a break from the podcast until I start recording episodes in January of 2026.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for being here.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_02: And we'll see you next time.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: Bye for now.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_02: You are so welcome.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_02: This was a pleasure.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, everybody.