Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S2 Ep1: Gender Reveal Gone Hilariously Wrong 🤣
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_01: The number one question, of course, everyone wants to know, is boy or girl.
- 0:05SPEAKER_01: That is all anyone gives a shit about, right?
- 0:07SPEAKER_01: They see you and they're like, hey, boy or girl.
- 0:09SPEAKER_01: Uh I don't know, by the way, which drives oh thanks.
- 0:13SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 0:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it drives people crazy.
- 0:16SPEAKER_01: No, it drives, like, people are just like, what do you mean?
- 0:19SPEAKER_00: You must know.
- 0:21SPEAKER_00: You have to know.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: How do you not know?
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: But what do you think it is?
- 0:24SPEAKER_00: You must have a feeling.
- 0:25SPEAKER_00: What do you have?
- 0:30SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, alright, you know, like, alright, I found out it's transgender.
- 0:34SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna give it a nice, like, politically cool name, like open, open Eisenberg.
- 0:41SPEAKER_01: That's pretty amazing.
- 0:44SPEAKER_01: Or equality or Black Lives Matter, you know, something.
- 0:51SPEAKER_01: Or Katie.
- 0:55SPEAKER_01: But then there is the really inappropriate questions, which are amazing that people just feel okay asking them.
- 1:02SPEAKER_01: I actually had someone just say to me, uh, how long were you trying?
- 1:07SPEAKER_01: Right, that is a very intimate question, right?
- 1:10SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh my, but you feel like you have to answer.
- 1:15SPEAKER_01: I was like, uh, I think like six, seven minutes, or like Game of Thrones was on pause, I remember that.
- 1:35SPEAKER_01: It's very funny bumping the microphone with this.
- 1:40SPEAKER_01: Uh or um, or someone someone just went, congratulations, and then I just went, in vitro?
- 1:48SPEAKER_01: And I was like, no, in dico.
- 1:50SPEAKER_01: Uh it's a older method, very effective, very traditional.
- 1:59SPEAKER_01: But then there is also just because I don't know if it's a boy or girl, there'll be that person.
- 2:03SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you'll meet these people at a party every once in a while, the person that wants to break it down with you.
- 2:08SPEAKER_01: You know, they'll be like, come over here, I just want to ask you a question.
- 2:10SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, just you and me.
- 2:12SPEAKER_01: Like, really, tell tell me the truth.
- 2:14SPEAKER_01: What are you hoping for?
- 2:16SPEAKER_01: What are you hoping for?
- 2:17SPEAKER_01: Boy or girl.
- 2:18SPEAKER_01: Like, what would you rather have?
- 2:20SPEAKER_01: Right, which is really just what do you what would you be more disappointed by?
- 2:24SPEAKER_01: Uh and I will be totally honest, I feel really like either would be fine.
- 2:30SPEAKER_01: I feel when I really think about it, babies, all babies are are cool, boy or girl.
- 2:35SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, I feel like that is even playing ground.
- 2:37SPEAKER_01: But as an older child, what would I prefer more?
- 2:41SPEAKER_01: You know, would I prefer a destructive idiot or a manipulative bitch?
- 2:45SPEAKER_01: You know, I I see the merits in both.
- 2:49SPEAKER_01: I see the merits in both.
- 2:52SPEAKER_01: Which I think should be the signage in stores for uh where you buy your clothing and your products and your toys.
- 3:01SPEAKER_01: Just look at them and be like, well, yeah, you are a manipulative bitch.
- 3:04SPEAKER_01: I mean, I knew I was.
- 3:07SPEAKER_01: Uh and I live, I moved to Park Slope.
- 3:09SPEAKER_01: I found out that this was happy.
- 3:11SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know, but that's embracing the cliche, right?
- 3:13SPEAKER_01: Moving to Park Slope.
- 3:15SPEAKER_01: Actually, when you pee on a stick in Brooklyn, uh, it just says Park Slope or Bushwick.
- 3:25SPEAKER_01: So you know where to live if you can figure it out.
- 3:33SPEAKER_01: Actually, I feel like it's a little too much because I was I just wanted a coffee one cup a day.
- 3:38SPEAKER_01: Um, but I wanted a coffee.
- 3:42SPEAKER_01: And I went into uh, you know, a place, the coffee, whatever the coffee place was called.
- 3:47SPEAKER_01: Uh it was kind of new.
- 3:48SPEAKER_01: There was no menus up.
- 3:49SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, hey, uh, I'm trying to order coffee.
- 3:51SPEAKER_01: What do you have?
- 3:52SPEAKER_01: And the guy, I go in, there's no menus.
- 3:54SPEAKER_01: And he goes, no, no, no, it's a conversation.
- 3:56SPEAKER_01: I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
- 4:01SPEAKER_01: He's like, what are you looking to get out of your coffee?
- 4:03SPEAKER_01: I was like, really?
- 4:04SPEAKER_01: Really?
- 4:05SPEAKER_01: This is the all right, fine, fine.
- 4:07SPEAKER_01: I'm looking for a bit of a boost and uh to take a shit.
- 4:11SPEAKER_01: All right.
- 4:19SPEAKER_01: What do you suggest?
- 4:25SPEAKER_01: I feel like Fourth Avenue, I'm right near Fourth Avenue, Fourth Avenue has sort of, it's got a lot of, it's sort of up and coming in some places.
- 4:32SPEAKER_01: I am actually surprised that Brooklyn hasn't totally embraced its own little artisanal culture.
- 4:39SPEAKER_01: Uh, and that you just see some strip club where exotic dancers is crossed out and it just says local dancers, you know.
- 4:47SPEAKER_01: Source within 15 miles.
- 4:51SPEAKER_01: Free range girls, vegan options available.
- 4:55SPEAKER_01: You know, like why someone's missing out on that.
- 5:01SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, to fit in, uh, and because it's available, I decided to take prenatal yoga.
- 5:09SPEAKER_01: Prenatal yoga is one of the most amazing things that I have ever done with my life.
- 5:15SPEAKER_01: Uh, I, you know, I will tell you something.
- 5:17SPEAKER_01: You know how like one ladybug is adorable?
- 5:21SPEAKER_01: Uh, but 30 ladybugs like coming at you as a creepy infestation, perhaps trying to kill you.
- 5:29SPEAKER_01: One pregnant woman, whatever.
- 5:32SPEAKER_01: 30 crammed together in a room is one of the most creepy, disgusting things I have ever been part of.
- 5:42SPEAKER_01: Like, you feel like you're in a breeding experiment sponsored by the government to like create the next wave of soldiers that are gonna fight the free world, or like some sort of uh reproductive initiative to like repopulate Israel.
- 6:00SPEAKER_01: It just is very odd.
- 6:03SPEAKER_01: And you're all in there, and nothing, nothing makes you more aware that this isn't a a special journey that you're on than being crammed in a room with like 30 other like miserable, uncomfortable, pregnant women, all of us in like old navy leggings holding our bellies.
- 6:21SPEAKER_01: Like the it the only thing special about it is like we're like, oh, we're special because we all said you don't have to pull out.
- 6:26SPEAKER_01: You know, that that's the joins us.
- 6:31SPEAKER_01: And there's different ages in there, so uh, you know, the older ones judge the younger ones, and the younger ones judge like I look at the younger ones and I'm like, what are you, 30?
- 6:40SPEAKER_01: This is your big choice in life?
- 6:42SPEAKER_01: So what you decided to do, you decided to move to Brooklyn and just get knocked up?
- 6:45SPEAKER_01: That's your grand plan?
- 6:47SPEAKER_01: You're throwing away your entire life.
- 6:51SPEAKER_01: And they're looking up at us and being like, nice that you squeezed it in at the very last second.
- 6:58SPEAKER_01: They're little wrinkled egg, somehow you got it in there.
- 7:04SPEAKER_01: Good luck with your body bouncing back, sister.
- 7:13SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't take a lot of yoga because I don't particularly like it, but if you even ask, I think the biggest yoga enthusiasts, and you go, What is your favorite part of the class?
- 7:23SPEAKER_01: They will all say the same thing.
- 7:24SPEAKER_01: They go the end when you lie down.
- 7:26SPEAKER_01: That's what everyone says.
- 7:27SPEAKER_01: The whole hour leading up to that is all just like, when do we get to that part where we all get to lie down, shavasana?
- 7:33SPEAKER_01: That should be the entire class, by the way.
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: People should just go into a room, lie down with strangers for an hour in their Lululemon, very expensive garb, while someone plays some wind chimes, then you all get up high five.
- 7:45SPEAKER_01: Great workout,$40, you know, and then you leave.
- 7:49SPEAKER_01: And prenatal yoga is kind of like that.
- 7:54SPEAKER_01: It is very low-key, plus, you're allowed to eat and go to the bathroom as many times as you want.
- 8:00SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's really free.
- 8:01SPEAKER_01: Like you can write a memoir or play an instrument or catch up on calls.
- 8:06SPEAKER_01: People are doing crafts.
- 8:08SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's also very touchy-feely because it's Park Slow Prenatal Yoga.
- 8:14SPEAKER_01: So it's very touchy-feely.
- 8:16SPEAKER_01: Uh, and at the beginning of every class, you have to share.
- 8:21SPEAKER_00: Share.
- 8:22SPEAKER_01: So you go around the room, and the instructor's like, okay, everybody, welcome to prenatal yoga.
- 8:28SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna go around the room, and everyone's gonna say their name and where they are in their pregnancy, and what you're craving.
- 8:37SPEAKER_01: Let's find out what you're craving.