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I'm back! What felt different about this maternity leave · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

• 0:40
  Okay, y'all, I'm back. Did you ever think you were going to hear this voice again?
• 0:47
  I am back, and so today I really want to talk to you guys just about what's
• 0:52
  been going on since I left here to have a baby and how this maternity leave has been,
• 1:02
  such a breath of fresh air, definitely different than any other maternity leave I've ever taken.
• 1:09
  And it's truly because this time around.
• 1:15
  I was living out of a place of grace and like peace instead of living out of
• 1:21
  that hustle, hurry, do it all,
• 1:24
  and then, you know, spiral and then seek grace after you spiral kind of thing.
• 1:29
  That I have always been prone to.
• 1:32
  Even when I had Sarah Mason, you know, she is 11. I did not have a business
• 1:38
  when I was pregnant with her and out on maternity leave. I actually worked for a company, you know.
• 1:43
  And it was like, even during my maternity leave with her, I still could not shut it off.
• 1:49
  I still was like feeling like I was behind. I needed to do something.
• 1:53
  I needed to help somebody. I needed, you know, to check in with the people at my office.
• 1:58
  And so the fact that this maternity leave was so fabulous really just says a
• 2:04
  lot. And so today I want to talk about that.
• 2:08
  And I want to talk about kind of how I feel, you know, what got me there,
• 2:13
  like give you some practical things.
• 2:14
  Not everybody's getting ready to go out on maternity leave right now,
• 2:17
  but I think more than anything, it was just this next season that I had entered
• 2:21
  into, I was fully equipped to be present in it because of the past work that I had done, right?
• 2:28
  And so I want to talk a little bit about that today and how that looks for me
• 2:32
  and can look for you, you know, or at least look similarly. But first, let's back it up.
• 2:37
  We had our sweet Evie May 28th. Y'all and her due date was May 29th. This was the first.
• 2:45
  Like this was the longest I have, I have ever been pregnant.
• 2:49
  So both my other two came at 38 and a half weeks and Evie was just,
• 2:53
  she wasn't ready to come out yet. And so with my age and my doctor was getting
• 2:57
  ready to go out of town, there was a lot of things going on.
• 2:59
  It was a little stressful there. I wish I could say that at the end of my pregnancy,
• 3:04
  I was living out of, you know, the utmost peace and, you know, whatever.
• 3:08
  But it, it wasn't until the very, very end, only probably a few days before
• 3:12
  she came that I got to that peaceful place.
• 3:16
  I recognized, you know, that I was getting back into old habits and really like
• 3:20
  kind of course corrected myself.
• 3:22
  And then of course, those last few days, I was so calm. I was so peaceful.
• 3:26
  I was so just, you know, okay, Lord, it's in your hands. And then of course
• 3:30
  she came because that's when it happens, right? When we let go a lot of the time.
• 3:34
  And so she came, it was the fastest delivery. It was the best delivery.
• 3:39
  It was just the sweetest time, right?
• 3:44
  And so with that, that was just the beginning.
• 3:52
  It was the first time in 10 years, y'all, like from the time that I started
• 3:59
  this business, it was the first time that I have not worked.
• 4:03
  When I had Glory, Glory is six. And so when I had Glory, I obviously had a business,
• 4:08
  but I was very much a one woman show.
• 4:11
  And so back, some of you will remember that time, kind of took a couple weeks to go.
• 4:17
  But it was at the, it was at the like mercy of my clients.
• 4:22
  Like they knew I was just taking a couple of weeks and all several hundred of
• 4:27
  them were like, take your time, girl.
• 4:29
  You know, they were so kind to me. They were so generous, but like there was
• 4:32
  still this urgency, like, okay, if I'm not working, the business isn't businessing, right?
• 4:37
  And so I quickly ended up getting back to work.
• 4:40
  And actually, then we moved right into COVID pretty much, and my work took off during COVID.
• 4:48
  So that season of maternity leave and infancy looked very different from the
• 4:57
  jump compared to kind of what we're living in right now over here.
• 5:02
  This time around, I've got Sweet Stacey. If you're a client, you know her.
• 5:07
  And I've got Angie. And so they have been holding it down. So the business has
• 5:14
  been businessing while I have been mothering.
• 5:19
  And I cannot, like, I will get emotional just talking about it.
• 5:23
  Like, I cannot express what a blessing that has been for me.
• 5:29
  Y'all, I'm a control freak. I have come such a long way, but there are still
• 5:33
  things that I'm just so, I have, I have a tight grip around and this business is clearly one of them.
• 5:39
  I mean, I built it with my bare hands, right? And so it is, it's something that
• 5:44
  I have, even though Angie and Stacey have been with me for a while,
• 5:47
  I have never fully let go of my grip on some things or around all the things, you know?
• 5:52
  And like with this, I had to at first. I mean, a woman can only hold so much at one time, right?
• 6:02
  I had to at first. And then it was like, oh my gosh, why have I not done this
• 6:07
  sooner? Like they've got it. Like they love this business. Like I love this
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  business. Like they are rocking it.
• 6:14
  Stacey really just took off. And I just cannot, I cannot express what a blessing
• 6:22
  it was for the first time in 10 years, for the first time since I created perfectfitnutrition.com.
• 6:30
  Have I been able to wake up?
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  Whether y'all, and I'm talking Saturday, Sunday, anything. If you're a business
• 6:35
  owner, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 6:37
  For the first time, have I been able to wake up in 10 years and not think about that business?
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  For the first time in 10 years, I woke up and thought, oh, what's Evie need?
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  Oh, I wonder what my kids are doing. Oh, I wonder what my husband needs today. Right.
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  And so that was just such a blessing to me. And it also revealed,
• 6:56
  you know, priorities to me, like, okay, you shouldn't have been waking up for
• 7:00
  10 years thinking about, you know, anyway, that's, that's a different,
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  different topic for a different day.
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  But it was, it was an incredible time.
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  Also, I forgot what it was like to parent a newborn.
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  Imagine that. I mean, Glory is six. And so it's so funny.
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  Like my sisters are younger than me and they have younger children than I have.
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  But I have been really relying on them for advice and questions and different
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  things because you just forget.
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  You don't think you're gonna, but then you do. And so it's been kind of fun
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  to like me and Jess both talk about how like, oh, my gosh, we feel like new
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  parents all over again. Like, is this OK?
• 7:45
  Should we should she be doing this? You know, but then at the same time,
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  it does come with that that like deep wisdom and knowing, yes,
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  she's going to be fine. You know what I mean?
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  It's really a beautiful and fun thing. But then pair that with sleep deprivation,
• 8:01
  obviously, and breastfeeding. So I was just like constantly hungry.
• 8:07
  I had some nerve issues. And so like that's something I'm going to talk about
• 8:11
  a little bit on the next episode. But that kind of that kind of threw me for
• 8:14
  a loop. Obviously, the hormones were going as well.
• 8:18
  Summertime in general. So kids were, you know, not in school.
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  We did send them to camp a good majority of the time, but still.
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  And just the reality that three kids are way more than two.
• 8:30
  Right. So all of that to say there was just so much going on this summer.
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  There was so much going on during my maternity leave. Like it was a lot.
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  Okay. And so with that,
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  I would usually, like my MO would be, to go into full-on like control freak mode, right?
• 8:52
  Like, we're going to plan every hour. We're going to prepare how we can.
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  We're going to, you know, rush around and get everything done so that we don't
• 8:58
  have to worry about it later.
• 8:59
  So that just in case this happens, I'll be prepared, blah, blah, blah.
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  Like, you know, that's where a lot of us as moms, like we wear that mental load
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  of, you know, not only dealing with what's in front of us, but dealing with
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  what we anticipate could be in front of us or what was left unfinished in the past or whatever.
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  And so that is where I think any other time of my life I would have gone.
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  I would have gone to that place of...
• 9:25
  You know, eagerness, urgency, which many of you probably know,
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  turns into like frustration with everyone else around us. Like not even,
• 9:34
  you know, even our husbands, like, because they'll, I love our husbands, y'all.
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  And they pick up slack in areas that we could never, but they'll never pick
• 9:44
  up the same slack that we have to, that we have to carry, right?
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  Like we each have our own lane of things to carry. And as a mom of a newborn,
• 9:52
  like just, just can't whip out a boob.
• 9:54
  Like he just cannot, you know what I mean?
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  And so I think usually that has caught up with me, you know,
• 10:03
  and obviously in maternity leave seasons, but also in just higher pressure seasons.
• 10:10
  And this time around, I was able to just be, like I was able to just let it
• 10:18
  go and not live under the pressure and just say, yep, that's just how it's going
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  to be. You know what I mean?
• 10:23
  I will not forget this. We were pretty, pretty big hermits during the summer,
• 10:28
  obviously, but we did take an adventure and we went to the lake with my family.
• 10:36
  And my mom and dad ended up not going, you know, my mom usually is the hustler
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  and bustler and she usually does a lot.
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  And so does my dad. Like they usually are like the ones that are cooking and
• 10:46
  cleaning up and all the things. And so when they didn't end up making it,
• 10:50
  my mom was sick. And so my sisters, I remember sitting there holding Evie.
• 10:55
  The week before had been kind of a nightmare with Evie. She was not sleeping
• 10:58
  at all. Like she was sleeping in 45 minute increments. It was terrible.
• 11:02
  And my sisters were both in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, hustling around,
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  you know, just, you know, providing for all of us, you know,
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  and all of our children or whatever.
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  And they have young kids too, you know, the oldest, but both my older two are
• 11:17
  older than all my sister's children. And so...
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  And I remember thinking like, okay, I need to get up.
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  Like I need to get up and help. And because that's like what a good person does.
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  That's what a good sister does. That's what I always would do,
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  you know, is pull my weight around here, you know, and, you know,
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  And then I thought to myself, okay, but my sisters are physically healthier.
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  I mean, at this point, I was still very, you know, fresh from delivery.
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  And they're physically healthier.
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  They're in a better mental state than I am. They have had more sleep than I
• 11:51
  have, you know, for the most part.
• 11:53
  All their kids are kind of sleep is wonky too sometimes, you know.
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  But still, I was able to kind of like zoom out and look at the situation,
• 12:02
  not as like me putting pressure on myself, but zoom out and look at it and look
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  at all three of us and this and the situations that we were currently living.
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  And then I was able to say, okay, Constance, no, like this is okay.
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  Like, can you just let yourself, can you just let yourself not,
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  you know? And so I did. I just sat there and let myself not.
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  And that for me is huge, right? Not even just like the act of sitting there,
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  but also the act of like not being so stressed about, oh, are they frustrated with me?
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  Did they mad? My sisters wouldn't be, you know, but sometimes we can get in our heads that way.
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  And like, you know, I just got out of my head and I chose to not force myself
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  to do something that I knew I really like didn't have to do in that moment.
• 12:52
  And so all this to just say like the way you experience your life,
• 13:00
  can change even before everything around you or everything that you do changes
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  right so I could tell in these months weeks after maternity leave that the work
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  that I had been doing over the past the previous two years right
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  for this this calm this peaceful this you know undoing of
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  expectations of myself or habits that maybe weren't so healthy mentally, you know,
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  all of that work that I had been doing was,
• 13:29
  was now like the fruit was coming through in this maternity leave, right?
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  Because in the past, I would have overcompensated for the exhaustion.
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  I would have overcompensated for the overwhelm. I would have really tried to just push past it.
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  And this time around, I was able to just say, no, okay, this is what it is.
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  And I'm just going to be okay with that instead of trying to like smother it
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  out with yet another task or another thing that will eventually,
• 14:00
  you know, break me, honestly, you know.
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  And so it was the same in our seasons, like being at home.
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  I, you know, have in the past been so used to physically being with my family,
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  while mentally doing a hundred other things, right? Like I know, you know, that feeling.
• 14:21
  We can be cooking dinner, but we're also thinking about, okay,
• 14:23
  we got to make sure so-and-so gets a bath and then we got to make sure we get
• 14:26
  the homework done. And then we, oh my gosh, tomorrow I'm in charge of bringing
• 14:28
  this to work and like whatever, you know, all the things that all of us hold.
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  And so in the past, I've been so, so bad about sitting, sitting down, but
• 14:39
  mentally like reeling, you know, and this season of my life while holding a
• 14:45
  baby often, you know, could and has with the past two kids really presented
• 14:50
  an opportunity for that to flare up.
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  Because not only am I forced to not physically be busy, you know,
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  my mind is able to like mentally like spiral while I'm sitting.
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  And so this time around, I have been able to just be more present,
• 15:10
  less like thoughts about, okay, this is what I should do, or this is what's coming.
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  And just like actually pay attention to my children, you know,
• 15:20
  a little bit more in depth, actually,
• 15:23
  like notice Evie while I'm nursing her instead of like scrolling on my phone
• 15:28
  trying to figure out, you know, X, Y, Z, whatever it is that's on my mind at that time, you know?
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  And so I think what's really cool about this is this is something that I have
• 15:38
  always chalked up to as a personality trait.
• 15:41
  Like I'm an achiever, right? I love to see things happen. Like I love to make things happen.
• 15:49
  And I don't think that's a bad thing. But I also kind of started labeling it as like ADHD.
• 15:56
  You know, I was actually clinically labeled as ADHD. ADHD, you know,
• 16:00
  maybe some anxiety in how I perform, just like a go-getter, right?
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  And these were the things that were attaching to my, that I was attaching to my personality.
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  And so then I was excusing that behavior, right? The inability to sit still
• 16:18
  in my thoughts, the inability to just let things kind of be, right?
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  And so, and two, it's even funny because like I've always taught like.
• 16:30
  Like if you want to become something or someone, if there's someone,
• 16:34
  a type of person that you want to become, you need to create that space,
• 16:38
  right, to become that person.
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  For instance, like if you want to eat healthier, well, you can't eat healthier
• 16:43
  if all you've got in the cabinet is little Debbie.
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  You know what I mean? Like you need to get you some fruit, girl,
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  you know, if you want to start eating healthier. And so in this circumstance,
• 16:54
  the space was available to me, right? Like the slower days, the peace, the calm.
• 17:00
  And I actually had to take that choice to step into it.
• 17:06
  You know what I mean? Instead of busy my brain and come up with excuses why
• 17:11
  I couldn't, which so many of us do, right? With the eating healthy thing specifically,
• 17:16
  we can manifest, you know, reasons why it can't work out.
• 17:21
  And so it's the same for me. Okay, like I finally got all this slow,
• 17:24
  slow pace and space available to me, even though there's still a lot of stressful
• 17:30
  things going on around me.
• 17:32
  So am I going to use the stressful things going on around me,
• 17:35
  the sleep deprivation, the constant need to be fed, you know,
• 17:38
  by Evie, you know, my hormones out of whack, the kids, you know,
• 17:42
  just being a little more stir crazy in the house.
• 17:43
  Like, am I going to use that as my excuse this time to not be able to enjoy
• 17:48
  this, this calmer space or am I going to step into it?
• 17:52
  And so I was able to step into it, right? I was able to truly open my hands,
• 17:56
  surrender the days and admit that like I have no control.
• 18:00
  Like I can sit here and pretend I'm in control all day long by letting my thoughts
• 18:04
  stay busy and somehow letting that make me feel like I'm being productive.
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  But at the end of the day, I have no control, right? And I was able to just
• 18:12
  accept that in these moments.
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  And so I think it was just a really cool time because in one of the most overwhelming
• 18:19
  times of my life, I was experiencing the most peace I had ever had.
• 18:23
  And it really was because I had made that choice to do so. You know what I mean?
• 18:27
  Instead of making the choice to think about how this sucks so bad because I
• 18:30
  can't have any peace because everybody's home and everybody needs me, you know?
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  And I think that it was a result of the fact that I had been practicing this.
• 18:41
  Peace and presence take practice. We cannot
• 18:45
  go from being in a go-go-go, on-on-on, I got to do this, I got to do that kind
• 18:50
  of world and person in general to, you know what, I think I'm just going to
• 18:55
  be chill for the rest of my life.
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  It is impossible for us, especially us as women, to just flip a switch in that
• 19:03
  manner. And so it takes practice, which is what I'm working on with a lot of our clients right now.
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  If we want to be this kind of person, we have to practice being this kind of
• 19:14
  person, even if we see that maybe life isn't going to line up perfectly for us to do so, right?
• 19:20
  We still have to put the next foot forward and practice being the kind of person
• 19:25
  that we want to be, right?
• 19:28
  And so for the longest time, I had been the person who spent,
• 19:32
  you know, so much time trying to do enough to then earn the peace on the back end, right?
• 19:39
  Like if I just get this, this, this, this, and this done, then I can have five
• 19:42
  minutes to myself, right?
• 19:44
  But this time, instead of treating the piece like a reward, I treated it like
• 19:51
  the foundation, like a lifeline, right?
• 19:54
  I chose to hold on to it on the front end instead of earning it on the back end.
• 19:59
  And that has been such a game changer for me, like just to be present and to
• 20:03
  act and to have a lot more joy in these days of absolute chaos,
• 20:09
  you know, around here, you know, because things are really unpredictable with a newborn.
• 20:14
  If y'all, if you've been out of this season for a while and forgot,
• 20:17
  like, you know, you can expect the day to go one way and it goes a whole different way.
• 20:22
  And so I, you know, a six-year-old who wants to do and be all the things at
• 20:26
  all the time, you know, she wants to play the game.
• 20:28
  She wants to watch the show. She wants to go to this place. she wants to cook
• 20:32
  this, you know, and then add in an 11-year-old who is stepping her way into
• 20:36
  the hormones and all the emotions. It's a lot, right?
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  And so I have been, literally my main goal every day is to prioritize peace.
• 20:47
  And it has truly, truly been the most amazing thing I could do for myself. And so...
• 20:55
  I want to talk about this a little bit and how it can like pertain to your life,
• 21:01
  how it does pertain to everyone's lives. You know, if you are any,
• 21:05
  if you're a female today, I feel like it pertains to your life, right?
• 21:09
  Because the noise is not going anywhere. The world is telling us this is just
• 21:13
  how it is, right? This is how we have to be in this season of our lives.
• 21:18
  And so it's a lie. It's a lie from Satan.
• 21:21
  And you, but you have to step into that and truly believe it and truly believe
• 21:25
  that it can be a different way, right?
• 21:27
  Because that opportunity to hustle or to rush around or to do the next thing
• 21:32
  instead of rest will always be there.
• 21:35
  And if your brain is saying like, yeah, this is the way it has to be done.
• 21:39
  Well, then yeah, that's the way it's going to be done.
• 21:42
  So the only way to get to a place where you don't feel that nudge,
• 21:47
  you don't feel that urgency all the time is to decide that like,
• 21:49
  I'm not going to do this anymore.
• 21:51
  Like I'm not going to do it this way anymore and actually putting the piece
• 21:57
  into practice. Right. And so I want to talk about three ways that I feel like
• 22:01
  are just super helpful for that.
• 22:05
  And keeping in mind, right, again, it's practice and gosh, it's a practice to
• 22:09
  me. It's going to be a practice for the rest of my life.
• 22:12
  Like, I don't think I will ever become a professional and do this without,
• 22:16
  you know, being intentional.
• 22:19
  But again, the reward is just so great that I'm willing to continue to do this work.
• 22:25
  So keeping that in mind, you know, because some of us want to put something
• 22:29
  in place for a week and then expect it to exist for the rest of our lives.
• 22:32
  And that just may not be the case here for you.
• 22:35
  And so I've got three things here, really easy things, actually,
• 22:39
  but they also can feel really hard. Like we can feel some major resistance to
• 22:43
  some of this stuff. And so the first thing that I want to just kind of talk about is noticing.
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  Noticing is the number one act that can help you, right? Because a lot of times
• 22:56
  when things are happening around us, we just want to push it down.
• 22:59
  We want to push it aside. We don't want to read it for what it is.
• 23:02
  We just want to kind of ignore it and assume this is how it's supposed to be.
• 23:05
  And so by stopping and noticing,
• 23:09
  okay, in the moments that they're actually happening, Like if you notice yourself
• 23:14
  absolutely spiraling over what's going to be for dinner, like notice that like,
• 23:18
  okay, I am spiraling over dinner.
• 23:22
  Like we have plenty of food in this house. People are going to eat.
• 23:25
  So what is the reason that I'm feeling so urgent here?
• 23:30
  Like why do I feel so urgent about what's for dinner, right?
• 23:36
  Or whatever the topic may be, just really take in a minute to sit in that.
• 23:39
  And obviously you may not be able to do it right in that moment.
• 23:42
  But circle back to it later on in the day. Like, why did that feel so heavy to me?
• 23:50
  And then noticing in the same sense, like, okay, is this showing up often?
• 23:56
  Like, am I always losing my mind as I'm preparing dinner?
• 24:01
  And if so, what could be the root cause of that? You know, how could I shift
• 24:06
  things around a little differently so that maybe I can prepare dinner in a calm and enjoyable manner?
• 24:13
  Is it because this is something, this is like a true story for me, y'all.
• 24:16
  I, at one point, was trying to cook dinner while Sarah Mason was doing her homework at the counter.
• 24:25
  So, like, I'd be trying to find a recipe, and then she'd be asking me questions,
• 24:29
  and then we'd have to, like, Google it. And then, you know, next thing, my chicken's burning.
• 24:33
  And, like, I recognized that, that, okay, dinner time's really stressful because
• 24:37
  I'm trying to multitask, you know. And then I noticed myself do it again this
• 24:42
  summer after, you know, all the lovely meal train type stuff stopped.
• 24:46
  I noticed myself when I started cooking dinner trying to like multitask with Evie.
• 24:52
  The evening is like her most fussy time. And she's such an angel,
• 24:56
  y'all. It's really not even that bad. But still, you know.
• 24:59
  And also still trying to cook these dinners that I've always cooked that take
• 25:04
  a little extra time. And so I had to say, okay, I'm spiraling at dinnertime.
• 25:08
  What can I change? And like, I've noticed what's happening. I've noticed the
• 25:12
  root of it. It's because I'm trying to hold too much at one time.
• 25:15
  And so what can I change? Well, your girl is cooking more frozen dinners than ever out here.
• 25:21
  And that is okay in this season, right? Because a present and a peaceful and a joyful mama is
• 25:29
  better for my family and better for me than some kind of scratch made 12 step
• 25:35
  fancy recipe that I love to usually make.
• 25:37
  Right. It just is what it is. So that's number one.
• 25:39
  Just noticing it. Okay. Really diving in on it.
• 25:44
  And then the next one is pick one like experience or one moment that you would
• 25:51
  really love to be more present. for. Okay, so like.
• 25:56
  Maybe it's dinner. You know, maybe we were talking about this at my Bible study group this morning.
• 26:01
  Like maybe you spend so much of dinner obsessing over whether your toddler is
• 26:07
  going to eat and what they're eating, how much they're eating,
• 26:10
  telling them to eat, telling them to eat, telling them to eat,
• 26:12
  that it ruins your joy and it ruins your peace.
• 26:14
  And next thing you know, dinner's over and you're spiraling about how little
• 26:18
  Jimmy is never going to grow and he's going to be nutrient deficient because
• 26:21
  all he's going to eat is his roll at dinner every night.
• 26:23
  Like, okay, can we make up our mind that at dinner, we want to experience it
• 26:31
  more? That is like one of our few times at home with our babies and fully present with them, right?
• 26:36
  So can you just make up your mind that I want to be peaceful here?
• 26:41
  I want to be present here. I want to enjoy this time. And like,
• 26:44
  I'm going to trust God with Jimmy's eating habits and his growing, right?
• 26:50
  You know we're gonna give him a you know milkshake or something to help him
• 26:55
  boost his growth if it becomes a problem
• 26:58
  you know because for most of us I'm tickled about it obviously if your kids
• 27:01
  have like a growth issue then that's a whole different story but for most of
• 27:04
  us it's just us us worrying about it there's been no medical you know,
• 27:10
  requirement for them to eat and all toddlers for the record you know this is
• 27:15
  a side note y'all all toddlers go through phases where they refuse eating,
• 27:19
  like all of them. Okay, so no panics.
• 27:22
  Anyway, but can you pinpoint a certain experience that you would like to fully
• 27:29
  be present for and then make that effort in those moments?
• 27:32
  And yeah, it might require some biting of tongue, right?
• 27:36
  It might require reversing some habits that you've gotten used to,
• 27:39
  like bad habits of saying, eat Jimmy, eat Jimmy, eat Jimmy a hundred times.
• 27:43
  You know, that might be something that's going to be a challenge for you, right?
• 27:48
  And it might just require some good prayer right before you sit down.
• 27:52
  You know, Lord, let me be present here. Lord, let me surrender the things that
• 27:57
  I cannot control about Jimmy's eating habits to you.
• 28:01
  Like, open my eyes, open my heart. Let me be here with my family because I know
• 28:06
  that when Jimmy is 23, I won't be so consumed about the fact that he didn't
• 28:13
  eat, you know, dinner when he was three years old.
• 28:16
  And so I want to be able to remember these sweet moments with Jimmy at three
• 28:21
  at the table, you know, whatever it is.
• 28:23
  And so picking a moment to experience more fully. And then the third one.
• 28:28
  This one is so big for me. This one is so, so big for me.
• 28:31
  Practice coming back to yourself, okay? Because it's so easy to like start the
• 28:37
  day and be like, okay, I'm gonna be so present and blah, blah, blah.
• 28:41
  And then of course the day comes at you.
• 28:43
  And next thing you know, I notice this about myself all the time.
• 28:46
  I'll be like holding my breath and I won't even know why.
• 28:50
  You know, after several hours of just like getting things done and accomplishing
• 28:54
  tasks and talking to people and whatnot, then I'm like, oh my gosh,
• 28:58
  I'm sitting here eating my lunch, but I'm holding my breath.
• 29:00
  Like, why am I doing that? Right?
• 29:03
  So just practice coming back, bringing that attention back to yourself.
• 29:09
  Right? Take a beat.
• 29:11
  Notice what's around you. Take a few slow breaths. Like really say,
• 29:15
  okay, I am coming back to myself.
• 29:18
  I am here. If you went on my retreat in the winter, you know,
• 29:22
  like I had stickers made that said, I am here, to just put somewhere you see
• 29:28
  often to remind you, like,
• 29:30
  you're no longer in the meeting that you were in an hour ago.
• 29:33
  You're not yet your kid's school to pick them up from daycare. You are right here.
• 29:39
  So can you be fully present here? You know, and that is a practice,
• 29:44
  y'all, that I have got to do daily, multiple, multiple, multiple times a day.
• 29:51
  And so this was something that was very, very powerful for me when evie was
• 29:57
  was obviously born and every day after that to go like okay.
• 30:01
  Yet we had some dermatology things with her. I had, you know,
• 30:06
  some issues with myself physically.
• 30:09
  And so there was a lot that I could have worried about. There were a lot of
• 30:12
  things that, you know, I could have, you know, researched and dove off into and stressed.
• 30:17
  And so I had to constantly remind myself, OK, yes, yes, it could be this,
• 30:23
  that, another. Yes, Google could tell me that this is the answer. But I am here.
• 30:28
  I am right here right now. I am rocking my baby, my baby who is three weeks
• 30:34
  and two days old, and tomorrow she'll be three weeks and three days old.
• 30:38
  And so I want to remember being here during three weeks and two days old, you know?
• 30:44
  And so that is the one for me that will really just be a lifelong effort.
• 30:51
  But I will say, like, it really does pay off and it really does start to come
• 30:56
  like more naturally, more easily.
• 30:58
  Just, it was so funny. I'm so thankful for my husband because he like reinforces
• 31:03
  the effort That have been doing and I don't even think he realizes sometimes
• 31:07
  that he is doing that for me that he's like boosting me up and reminding me how far i've come but.
• 31:13
  Friday last friday i've been trying to keep evie home on fridays and really
• 31:17
  on any day that like I just want to keep her home While she's this little and
• 31:21
  so on friday, I kept her home and he was home He was working from home that day, too,
• 31:26
  and his phone just rings like crazy on fridays and,
• 31:30
  We were talking about it on Sunday night. And I was like, I may keep Evie home,
• 31:35
  you know, on this day and that day.
• 31:36
  But I know I'm for sure keeping her home on Friday. And he said,
• 31:38
  babe, Friday, like, did you not feel like overwhelmed and stressed out because
• 31:44
  she was home and you were also like working and you were doing stuff, you know?
• 31:48
  Because I was, I got a lot of things on my to-do list done on Friday.
• 31:53
  And I was like, no, not at all. Like, you know, and he and he was like,
• 31:59
  you know, we were just kind of talking about it, kind of talking about how I
• 32:02
  had set expectations for myself that were within the window of keeping a baby at home.
• 32:07
  You know, so they had to be a lot lower than expectations for when I'm home
• 32:11
  by myself working all day.
• 32:13
  And like also just this posture of my heart that like, OK, if it doesn't get
• 32:18
  done today, then it's not meant to get done today. Like if Evie has other plans,
• 32:23
  then OK, we're going to have to go by those.
• 32:25
  And he just sat there and listened to me. And he was like, this is insane.
• 32:30
  This is absolutely crazy the way you have changed in that way.
• 32:35
  Because I used to be just this like, oh, if it doesn't get done today, it's the worst day ever.
• 32:41
  My whole day was ruined because I didn't get X, Y, and Z done.
• 32:44
  And I had said I was going to do X, Y, and Z.
• 32:46
  And he just kind of sat in it and was like, wow. You know, he said the word wow.
• 32:52
  And I was like, oh my gosh, wow is right. You know what I mean?
• 32:56
  Obviously, I'm not perfect. And obviously, I have days where I'm still just
• 33:00
  like, oh my gosh, I cannot, you know, deal with another thing, right?
• 33:05
  They're not all beautifully put the way that that Friday was.
• 33:08
  But there is more room for days like Friday in my life. And so that creates just love.
• 33:17
  This feeling of like groundedness and peace and joy, like as I walk through
• 33:22
  more days, you know. And so it's just, I cannot explain it.
• 33:27
  It is the most freeing thing. And honestly, it is something that like we weren't designed.
• 33:35
  We were not designed to be hustling ourselves to death, right?
• 33:39
  We weren't designed to be put on. Yes, God put us here to do work,
• 33:44
  but God didn't put us here to lose our minds every day. trying to work.
• 33:49
  There's a huge difference. And when we're working from a place of capacity,
• 33:54
  a place of space, a place of peace, a place of ability to be present because
• 33:59
  we haven't piled 100 things on our plate.
• 34:03
  That's the work that the Lord finds the most joy in, right?
• 34:06
  That's the work He can actually use us the most because we're not distracted
• 34:10
  and overwhelmed and rushing to the next thing and missing it, you know?
• 34:15
  And so it's just been like a really beautiful thing to kind of be here after
• 34:20
  11 years of being a mother and a working mother at that and just get to see how different,
• 34:29
  it feels because of a few practices, you know, that I started putting in place
• 34:36
  to change the way my rhythms go.
• 34:40
  So anyway, that is all I really had for you guys today. Obviously,
• 34:46
  if you've been paying attention to my emails and,
• 34:49
  social media. Like this is something I'm really, really passionate about.
• 34:53
  I am so passionate about getting to the root of overwhelm and changing it because
• 34:59
  I think it is the root of all,
• 35:03
  struggle with women, specifically mothers, working mothers.
• 35:09
  The world is telling us we have to go, go, go. And we are go,
• 35:12
  go, going because what other choice do we have?
• 35:15
  And, you know, actually zooming out and realizing you have a choice and the
• 35:20
  choice can look different than hustle culture will tell you it should look is
• 35:26
  life-changing. And it has been 100% life-changing to me.
• 35:31
  And which we will talk about in episodes in the future, it's life-changing for your health.
• 35:39
  Like it's absolutely life-changing for your health.
• 35:43
  Our bodies fight back for that kind of rushing, that kind of urgency,
• 35:48
  that kind of pressure and stress.
• 35:50
  We're not, again, we were not built to hold it all.
• 35:54
  And so, you know, this is where we're headed, y'all. This is where my passion is.
• 36:00
  And I would love to kind of hear from you. Like if this is something that you
• 36:04
  struggle with, if you want to ask specific questions, I'd love to talk through
• 36:08
  the specifics, so definitely reach out. But I'm back.
• 36:12
  So I'm so happy to be back. And I can't wait to keep diving in on this conversation with you guys.
• 36:20
  And as always, y'all remember to say grace.