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FOCUS: Simple Steps in Learning to Release Control in Order to Manage Your Burnout. · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: So firstly, what is burnout. Burnout is mainly referred to
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: in a work sense, in a work environment, because most
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: cases of burnout are you know, it's people reporting or
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: talking about a lot of stress related to their work.
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  Speaker 1: So that is definitely the case for a lot of
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  Speaker 1: for most people with burnout, I would imagine, But burnout
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  Speaker 1: is not exclusive to your work. It can happen in
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  Speaker 1: many other areas of your life and it is all
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: work related. But you've got to look at what, like,
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  Speaker 1: what do you deem work to be. There's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of unpaid work that people do. You know, you could be,
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  Speaker 1: you know, overwhelmed with the amount of you know, you're
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  Speaker 1: doing all the house work, the all you know, the parenting,
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  Speaker 1: or you could have someone you could be someone with
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  Speaker 1: a sick parent and you are their full time career
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  Speaker 1: and that is a huge workload. But it's not a
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  Speaker 1: paid job, but it's to work, Okay, So it ultimately
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  Speaker 1: does come down to work. But keep in mind that
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  Speaker 1: work encompasses a lot more than what people initially might
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  Speaker 1: think of. Okay. So technically, burnout is described as a
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  Speaker 1: state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion, So where
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  Speaker 1: you constantly feel swamped, it's difficult to engage in activities
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  Speaker 1: that you normally would find entertaining or you normally would
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  Speaker 1: find meaningful. You don't care as much about the things
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  Speaker 1: that are important to you. You're feeling hopeless, you have
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  Speaker 1: a short temper. You also don't dedicate time to things
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  Speaker 1: outside of this work that I'm referring to, whether it
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  Speaker 1: be your job or whether it be you as you know,
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  Speaker 1: at home or as a care you don't dedicate time
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  Speaker 1: to things outside of that because this thing is consuming
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  Speaker 1: all of your energy. You're kind of feeling like you're
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  Speaker 1: drowning and shit to do, and you also have difficulty sleeping. Okay,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Now this is currently not in the DSM five, but
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  Speaker 1: it is reported alongside a whole lot of other things
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  Speaker 1: like stress and things like that. Now it happens due
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  Speaker 1: to ongoing, prolonged and excessive emotional, physical, and mental stress. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: Now let's talk about the difference between stress and burnout,
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  Speaker 1: because they are closely related. Burnout is not completely separate
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  Speaker 1: from chronic stress, but instead you want to look at
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  Speaker 1: it as the far end of the spectrum of chronic stress. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so at the very end of chronic stress, when you've
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  Speaker 1: been under chronic stress repeatedly again and again and again
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  Speaker 1: and overwhelm. Okay, then you're going to have these symptoms
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  Speaker 1: of burnout. But stress can exist on its own without
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  Speaker 1: you being burnt out. And that's where you know, you
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  Speaker 1: could be highly stressed, but you still want to engage
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  Speaker 1: in activities outside of it. It's you know, some people
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  Speaker 1: have a very highly stressful life, but it doesn't cut
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  Speaker 1: out their enthusiasm for other areas of their life, and
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't cut out their willingness to do things, and
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily make them feel hopeless and things like that.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: So that's where it differs. But you kind of want
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  Speaker 1: to look at burnout as being a form of stress,
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  Speaker 1: but it's the extreme end of stress where you are
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  Speaker 1: just you've completely depleted yourself and then you're feeling all
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  Speaker 1: these symptoms that I just mentioned. Okay, but I wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: say that they're separate things because they're certainly not. Also,
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  Speaker 1: is burnout depression and is it linked? Burnout can cause
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  Speaker 1: a depressive episode, but depression does not cause burnout. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so they can be associated, but depression isn't causing the burnout.
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  Speaker 1: Although some people may have burnout and depression. Okay, so
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  Speaker 1: now that we understand what burnout is, and if if someone,
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  Speaker 1: I think a lot of us would have experienced burnout
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  Speaker 1: in some way, shape or form, and it's very it's
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  Speaker 1: a different experience for a lot of people. So for
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  Speaker 1: some people, it's you know, very specific to one big
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  Speaker 1: thing that was happening in their life where they were
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  Speaker 1: overwhelmed with a lot of stress. Maybe work was just
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  Speaker 1: really really full on at that time, maybe they just
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  Speaker 1: weren't things weren't going well for them, they were chasing
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  Speaker 1: their tail, they were really like inundated with a lot
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  Speaker 1: of work. And then after a few months it eased up,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: and then of course they burnout also went away because
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  Speaker 1: they found balance again in their life. And then there's
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  Speaker 1: people who you know, seem to live a life where
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  Speaker 1: it's just constant and they're always in this state of
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  Speaker 1: burnout for a very very long time. And normally, if
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  Speaker 1: you're in a state of burnout for a very long time,
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  Speaker 1: you're you're likely to have more physical symptoms, symptoms and
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  Speaker 1: possibly health issues as well if it's for a very
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  Speaker 1: very prolonged period of time. But now that we understand burnout,
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  Speaker 1: I think most of us can be like, oh, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I've experienced that at some point in my life, or
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  Speaker 1: I know someone who definitely has experienced it, or my
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  Speaker 1: partner's currently going through that or whatever. Like it's it's
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  Speaker 1: something that I think most of us could relate to
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  Speaker 1: directly or indirectly. So now I want you to there's
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  Speaker 1: a few steps that I want to go through for
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  Speaker 1: how to deal with with burnout. The first one is identified.
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  Speaker 1: So I've given you all the symptoms of what it
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  Speaker 1: looks like, what could cause it. Just take a moment,
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  Speaker 1: and if you think that you are experiencing burnout, ask
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  Speaker 1: yourself those questions and really like work through those questions
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  Speaker 1: and see does this resonate with me? Do I'm like, yes,
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  Speaker 1: that's me. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. So
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  Speaker 1: the first one is to identify. The second thing that
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  Speaker 1: I want you to do. I've got eight points here, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so good terms. The second thing that I want you
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  Speaker 1: to do is to write down everything right now in
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  Speaker 1: your life that you believe that you are responsible for.
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  Speaker 1: This could be work tasks, especially if you believe your
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  Speaker 1: burnout is work related. Get specific on what all these
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  Speaker 1: tasks are. Don't just write work right. I've got to.
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  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be in charge of this, I'm managing this.
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  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be doing this on a weekly basis.
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  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be submitting this, like, write it all down,
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  Speaker 1: work home tasks, life admin tasks. Your finances. A lot
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  Speaker 1: of financial stress could create more of a burden, which
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  Speaker 1: then increases your burnout in another area. So your finances
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  Speaker 1: and other responsibilities that you have that you feel like
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  Speaker 1: you that are weighing you down and making you feel
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  Speaker 1: this way. I want you to write it all down,
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  Speaker 1: ideally on like a big sheet of paper, so it's
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  Speaker 1: all in front of you and it's clear, almost like
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  Speaker 1: a big chart. Better than a list. I think it's
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  Speaker 1: better than doing a list because you're able to kind
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  Speaker 1: of look at it all. And the reason I said
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  Speaker 1: to write it down is because when it's all in
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  Speaker 1: your head, you'll be focusing on one thing and forgetting
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  Speaker 1: something else. Then you focus on another thing, you forget
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  Speaker 1: about the other thing. You want to lay it all down,
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  Speaker 1: get it off your head and onto paper, or out
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  Speaker 1: of your head and onto paper, and then we've got
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  Speaker 1: something to work with here it's in front of us.
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  Speaker 1: Then The next thing that I want you to do
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  Speaker 1: step three is to find areas where you can surrender
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  Speaker 1: some level of control. You don't have to completely get
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  Speaker 1: rid of certain things. That's later in the list of
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  Speaker 1: things to do, but there's certain things where you can
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  Speaker 1: surrender some control, like offloading certain responsibilities, like you can
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  Speaker 1: still be a part of a task, but giving part
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  Speaker 1: of those responsibilities to somebody else. And a prime example
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  Speaker 1: of this, I was talking to a friend of mine
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  Speaker 1: who is a mother, and she was saying that this
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  Speaker 1: is months ago, and she was saying that she was
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  Speaker 1: feeling quite burnt out, and she was had young kids,
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  Speaker 1: a baby and a kid like a toddler. Probably was
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  Speaker 1: stay at home, took care of the home. And she
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  Speaker 1: said that even when her husband was home parenting, looking
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  Speaker 1: after the kids, she still felt that she couldn't relax
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  Speaker 1: because she was so used to being at home and
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  Speaker 1: taking care of the kids. Every time her husband would
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  Speaker 1: be caring for the kids, she'd be telling him what
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  Speaker 1: to do. She'd and she was like, he's not even
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  Speaker 1: asking for my advice. He's doing his own thing. He's fine,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm there telling him, no, if you do it
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  Speaker 1: this way, it's quick oh, you're taking too long doing
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  Speaker 1: it that way. And then she realized she's like, wait
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  Speaker 1: a minute, he's gonna get it done. The kids are fine, Like,
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  Speaker 1: it's just not getting it done my way just because
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  Speaker 1: I've got a better way or a faster way of
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  Speaker 1: doing it. I need to relinquish some of this control.
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  Speaker 1: So then she started every time she you know, if
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  Speaker 1: the husband was at home and he was with the kids,
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  Speaker 1: she'd be like, I'm just gonna leave the house now,
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  Speaker 1: because if I'm in the house, I'm trying to control
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  Speaker 1: something that I don't need to be controlling. Like that
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  Speaker 1: he's got it under control. I'm causing more stress on
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  Speaker 1: myself than necessary. She would then leave the house, and
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: she started doing that more and more and more until
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  Speaker 1: it got to a point where she's like, I'm not
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  Speaker 1: thinking about it anymore. I know they've got it under control.
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  Speaker 1: And then she was able to then be at home
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  Speaker 1: around watching him parent different to how she would do
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  Speaker 1: things differently. Maybe it's you know, not the way she
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  Speaker 1: would want to do it. But then feel like, I
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  Speaker 1: don't have to control this situation. They're fine. I just
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  Speaker 1: am stressing because I feel like i'm a bit of
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  Speaker 1: a perfectionist, and I need to have everything under my
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  Speaker 1: kind of control. So that's an example of a way
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  Speaker 1: that you can kind of release control just because someone's
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  Speaker 1: not doing it the way you're doing it. Is there
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  Speaker 1: something that you can offload to someone else and be like,
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  Speaker 1: I'm okay with you doing it differently to how I
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  Speaker 1: would do it, but please just do some of this okay,
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  Speaker 1: and I promise to not control you when you do it.
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  Speaker 1: Is it help with your children? Is it help with
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  Speaker 1: your job at work? Is there something I've got a
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  Speaker 1: good friend of mine and she's always under so much
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  Speaker 1: stress at work, and it gives me just just hearing
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  Speaker 1: her talk about it makes me feel like, oh stress
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  Speaker 1: that I can't even help her. And I always say
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  Speaker 1: to her, I'm like, you need to speak to your
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: boss and say I'm good at these things, and I'm
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  Speaker 1: sending good at these things. Where do you want me?
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  Speaker 1: Because I can't do it all? You know, like, you've
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: got to speak to your strengths and tell your managers like,
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  Speaker 1: I do very well here and I can make some
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  Speaker 1: changes in this business here. But if you're spreading me
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  Speaker 1: too thin, I can't shine and I can't make the
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  Speaker 1: improvements that you want to see in this area. So
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  Speaker 1: you know it's one or the other. But I can't
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  Speaker 1: be brilliant here and also do all these other tasks.
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  Speaker 1: It's okay to say to your employer, I cannot do
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  Speaker 1: the workload that you are asking me to do. It
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  Speaker 1: does not mean that you're a failure, and it does
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  Speaker 1: not mean that you're not good at your job. If anything,
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  Speaker 1: I would respect someone coming to me saying, look, it's
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  Speaker 1: just too much. However, I'm brilliant at this. I know
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  Speaker 1: I can perform on this. Let me focus on this,
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  Speaker 1: you know. Give me a chance to make this my
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  Speaker 1: baby and relinquish all these other responsibilities and watch how
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  Speaker 1: I can really make a difference here. Okay, So that's
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  Speaker 1: another example.