Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are a Senior Leader
Transcript
- Lucas: Let me start with a scenario. You are a vice president of product at a company with about three thousand employees. You've been at this level for four years. You run a team of sixty. Your CEO respects you, your board knows your name, and you are very good at your job. Luna: That sounds like the dream, right? So why would you need a mentor? Lucas: Exactly the question most senior leaders ask themselves. And the answer is — because the higher you climb, the fewer people around you have done what you are doing. Your peers are competitors. Your direct reports look to you for answers. And your boss, the CEO, has a completely different set of pressures. Luna: So you end up in this weird isolation where nobody can give you honest, unvarnished feedback. Lucas: That's it. And it's a well-documented problem. A 2023 study from the Center for Creative Leadership found that executives at the vice president level and above report feeling 'mentorship deprived' at nearly double the rate of mid-level managers. The very thing that got you there — expertise — becomes the barrier to finding someone who can stretch you further. Luna: So what do you do? Cold email someone more senior? That feels awkward when you're already a senior person yourself. Lucas: It can feel awkward. But there's a structure that works really well, and it's called the peer mentor swap. The idea is simple: you find someone at a similar level — but in a completely different industry — and you agree to meet monthly to act as each other's strategic sounding board. Luna: Different industry, that's key. No direct competition, no internal politics. Lucas: Right. I talked to a VP of marketing at a B2B SaaS company — let's call her Sarah. She was feeling stuck on her team's go to market strategy. Every internal conversation went in circles. So she reached out to a VP of marketing she knew from a previous conference — this person works in consumer packaged goods, completely different world. They started having a ninety-minute Zoom call every second Tuesday. Luna: And what changed? Lucas: Sarah told me that within three sessions, the CPG peer pointed out that her team was over-indexing on product features and under-indexing on brand narrative — something obvious in consumer goods but invisible in B2B SaaS. She restructured her entire launch plan. That quarter, their product launch saw a thirty percent higher conversion rate than the previous one. Luna: That's a concrete win. And it came from someone who didn't know her industry's assumptions. Lucas: Exactly. The peer mentor swap works because it gives you a mirror that isn't clouded by your own industry's groupthink. But you have to structure it right. Set a recurring calendar invite. Come with one specific problem each time. And commit to giving the other person the same level of focus. Luna: I've also seen a variation where you do a quarterly 'strategy review' for each other — like a mini board of advisors, just the two of you. Lucas: That is a great upgrade. Some executives even formalise it with a one-page memo they send forty-eight hours before each meeting, summarising the decision they're wrestling with. That forces clarity before you even talk. Luna: What about the option of mentoring someone junior? I've heard that can also be a way to get fresh perspective. Lucas: That's the other pillar — reverse mentoring. And it's not new, but I think senior leaders underutilise it as a learning tool. The classic model pairs a senior executive with a junior employee who is fluent in something the executive isn't — social media trends, AI tools, Gen Z workplace expectations. Luna: Right, it's not about the junior person getting advice. It's about the senior person staying current. Lucas: I interviewed a chief financial officer at a Fortune 500 insurance company who did this. He asked a twenty-six-year-old analyst on his team — someone he barely knew — to meet with him for thirty minutes every two weeks. The analyst showed him how the company's internal communication was failing on platforms like Slack and how younger employees actually wanted to receive financial updates. The CFO ended up revamping the quarterly all-hands format based on that feedback. Luna: So the CFO got a direct line to a demographic he was completely disconnected from. That's valuable. Lucas: And it cost nothing but time. But here's the catch — reverse mentoring only works if you go in with genuine curiosity and zero ego. If you treat the junior person like a novelty or a pet project, they'll clam up. You have to say, 'Teach me. I am the student here.' Luna: And you have to make it safe for them to be honest. If they think criticising the company's culture could hurt their career, they won't say a word. Lucas: Absolutely. So the CFO made it explicit: 'Nothing you say leaves this room. I want your unfiltered take.' And he meant it. That trust is the currency. Luna: Let me ask you this — what about senior leaders who feel like they don't have time for any of this? Their calendar is packed, they're travelling, they're in back to back board meetings. Lucas: That is the number one objection I hear. And my response is: the cost of not having a mentor at that level is higher than the time investment. A bad strategic decision because you had no outside perspective can cost millions. A thirty-minute call once a month is cheap insurance. Luna: Plus, you can combine formats. Maybe you do a peer mentor swap on a quarter cycle and a reverse mentoring session on a month cycle. Spread the load. Lucas: That is exactly what one COO I spoke to does. She has a peer mentor swap with a COO in healthcare — they meet every six weeks. And she has a reverse mentor, a twenty-three-year-old data scientist, every three weeks. She told me the data scientist has taught her more about how to use AI tools in operations than any consultant ever did. Luna: And the data scientist probably gets a huge career boost from that exposure too. It's not one-directional. Lucas: It is genuinely mutual. The junior person gets visibility into how an executive thinks, builds a relationship that can become a sponsorship, and learns strategic framing. That is the kind of relationship that can vault someone's career. Luna: So, big picture — if you're a senior leader and you feel like you've outgrown the traditional mentor model, you haven't. You just need to redesign the container. Lucas: Exactly. Peer mentor swap for strategic blind spots. Reverse mentor for fresh perspective and cultural fluency. And maybe an external coach for the really personal stuff — but that is a different episode. Luna: We should note that this is also something the podcast itself relies on in a way. We get notes from listeners who are at all stages of their careers, and that feedback loop keeps us honest. Lucas: You're right. And it's actually a good moment to mention — this show stays ad-free because a small group of listeners chips in through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That support is what lets us keep doing deep dives like this one, without any sponsor pressure. Luna: Yeah, it's a pretty straightforward model. People who find value in the show can throw a few dollars in the virtual jar, and that covers the production costs. No ads, no affiliate links, just the content. Lucas: And we really appreciate that. It lets us spend time on topics like this — which might not be the flashiest, but we think they matter. So thank you if you're one of those supporters. Luna: Alright, back to senior leadership mentorship. One last angle I want to touch on: what if you try the peer mentor swap and it doesn't click? How do you know when to walk away? Lucas: Good question. I think you give it three sessions. If after three meetings you don't feel a spark — if the conversation feels forced or you're not getting actionable insights — it's fine to politely say, 'I think I need a different perspective, but I really valued our time.' No hard feelings. Luna: And be specific about why it didn't work. Maybe the industry gap was too wide, or the chemistry was off. Use that to refine your search. Lucas: Exactly. The goal is not to collect a mentor. The goal is to get the right input at the right time. And sometimes that means rotating through a few different people over the course of a year. Luna: So the takeaway for our senior leader listeners: you are not too experienced to need a mentor. You might just need a different kind. Lucas: And the path is simpler than you think. Pick one peer from a different industry, set a recurring date, and come with a specific problem. That's your starting point. Luna: I like that. One step, not a whole system. Lucas: That's the spirit. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.