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a video to watch when you_re sad · Motivation study

0:01
Speaker 1: What will sometimes haunt my dreams still is just like
0:06
Speaker 1: a general feeling of morose anxiety.
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Speaker 2: Everyone experiences a version of anxiety or worry in their lives.
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Speaker 3: I don't know why I opened up and talked about it,
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Speaker 3: but I guess I was just sick and tired of
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Speaker 3: just having it inside.
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Speaker 4: Of me for 20 plus years and I was ready
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Speaker 4: to make a change.
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Speaker 5: What helped me the most that I want to impress
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Speaker 5: upon all of you, is that I realize that part
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Speaker 5: of my identity is saying no to things I don't
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Speaker 5: want to do. And you are all in school and
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Speaker 5: you all have a lot of teachers and a.
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Speaker 6: Lot of people around you that tell you all day
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Speaker 6: what you have to do, but it is your right
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Speaker 6: to choose what you do and don't do. It is
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Speaker 6: your right to choose what you believe in and what
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Speaker 6: you don't believe in. It is your right to curate
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Speaker 6: your life and your own perspectives.
1:03
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with you. To be a sensitive person
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Speaker 2: that cares a lot, that takes things in in a
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Speaker 2: deep way, is actually part of what makes you amazing.
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Speaker 7: We all go through dark times. We all have obstacles
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Speaker 7: in the way.
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Speaker 8: We all have days and weeks where just everything, one
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Speaker 8: thing after the other, just keeps going wrong.
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Speaker 7: You keep getting knocked down. You keep getting knocked on
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Speaker 7: your ass. Setbacks. Things go wrong. Things don't work out.
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Speaker 7: This is just life.
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Speaker 9: I know you're going through some hard times.
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Speaker 10: I know life at times might feel rough or you
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Speaker 10: might feel weird or things might be frustrating, but it's
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Speaker 10: not going to always be like this.
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Speaker 9: Your condition is not your conclusion.
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Speaker 7: You just keep pushing through.
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Speaker 8: If you keep getting back up, if you keep going,
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Speaker 8: you're going to get through it. There is always, always
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Speaker 8: light at the end of the tunnel. You got to
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Speaker 8: believe that.
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Speaker 7: You have the power to make it better.
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Speaker 11: You see, Nothing changes unless something changes.
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Speaker 12: My mom would be at all my sporting events. Let's
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Speaker 12: say I was playing football, okay? My mother would be
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Speaker 12: on the sidelines, and if the play on the field
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Speaker 12: started going one way, my mother would run along.
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Speaker 9: Like, Mark, get him, get him!
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Speaker 12: I'd be like, oh my gosh. I'd get in the
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Speaker 12: huddle with the other guys, they'd go, Mark, is that
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Speaker 12: your mother?
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Speaker 13: I'd go.
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Speaker 12: No, I never saw her before in my life. The
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Speaker 12: greatest gift my mother ever gave me, she believed in me.
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Speaker 12: I have overdosed on drugs on three occasions where I
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Speaker 12: should have been dead. But I believe I was kept
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Speaker 12: here for a reason. You show me your friends, I
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Speaker 12: will show you your future. How do I know this?
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Speaker 12: I hung out with losers and I became the biggest
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Speaker 12: loser of them all because I gave up everything I
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Speaker 12: dreamt about as a little boy because of who I chose.
3:01
Speaker 12: surround myself with. My friends would drive me home at two, three,
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Speaker 12: four in the morning. We'd be drunk and high, laughing
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Speaker 12: in the car. We'd pull up in front of my
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Speaker 12: house in New York. They'd go, Mark, Mark. The light's on.
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Speaker 12: I go, oh man, my mother's up. See, my mom
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Speaker 12: wouldn't go to bed until she knew her son was
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Speaker 12: still alive. I'd walk in, she'd say, hi Mark.
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Speaker 9: Hi Mark.
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Speaker 12: How was your night? I go, it was good, Mom.
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Speaker 12: I'm just going to go to bed. She goes, can
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Speaker 12: I talk to you for a minute? I go, Mom,
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Speaker 12: I'm tired. I'm just going to go to bed. She goes, Mark,
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Speaker 12: I haven't seen you all day and all night. Can
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Speaker 12: I please talk to you? I said, man, just leave
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Speaker 12: me alone. You bug me. I slammed my bedroom door
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Speaker 12: on the one person who believed in me. I was
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Speaker 12: on a worldwide tour when we were wrestling overseas in Japan.
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Speaker 12: After my wrestling match, I went upstairs to my hotel
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Speaker 12: room and I fell asleep. there was a knock at
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Speaker 12: my door at three o'clock in the morning. I got
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Speaker 12: out of bed and I looked through the safety window
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Speaker 12: and I could see it was a Japanese promoter. So
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Speaker 12: I opened the door and he said, Mark, you need
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Speaker 12: to call home. There's been an emergency. I went and
4:03
Speaker 12: got in the hotel room phone. I called back to
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Speaker 12: the United States.
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Speaker 7: And said, hey, what's going on?
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Speaker 12: They said, Mark, I don't know how to tell you this.
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Speaker 12: I said, just tell me what happened. All of a
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Speaker 12: sudden they started crying. They go, Mark, I can't tell you.
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Speaker 12: I said, just say it. He said, Mark, your mother died.
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Speaker 12: I just threw the phone down. I ran out of
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Speaker 12: my hotel room. I took the elevator to the lobby.
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Speaker 12: When the doors opened up, I just ran out into
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Speaker 12: the street. I mean, there was no cars. There was
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Speaker 12: no people. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. And
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Speaker 12: I walked down the middle of a street in Hiroshima, Japan.
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Speaker 12: And I remember looking up and just saying, Mom?
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Speaker 15: Mom?
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Speaker 7: I am so sorry.
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Speaker 12: I flew home for her funeral and I was so
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Speaker 12: nervous to walk up to her casket. So I just
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Speaker 12: stood way in the back and I kept looking from
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Speaker 12: a distance. I kept thinking to myself, mom, please wake up.
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Speaker 12: Please get up. And then I finally got the nerve
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Speaker 12: to walk up to her. And as I got closer,
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Speaker 12: I could see my mom for the first time. I mean,
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Speaker 12: She was so beautiful. She was dressed in white. I mean,
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Speaker 12: she looked like an angel. And I just stood over it.
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Speaker 12: I said, Mom, you are my hero. Everything I am,
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Speaker 12: everything I hope to be was because of you. You
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Speaker 12: love me so much. You gave me a life. You're
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Speaker 12: the only one that ever believed in me. How did
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Speaker 12: I repay her? By getting drunk, by getting high, by
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Speaker 12: getting stupid, by hanging out with losers, for what? All
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Speaker 12: she ever wanted to do was talk to me. I
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Speaker 12: wish I could talk to you now, Mom. I wish
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Speaker 12: you could see what I'm doing. Why couldn't I have
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Speaker 12: been a better son? We are defined by our choices.
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Speaker 12: But if you surround yourself with people involved in drugs
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Speaker 12: and alcohol and pills, it's a dead end. I'm not
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Speaker 12: here to preach to you. I'm here to tell you
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Speaker 12: I live that life. It leads to broken hearts, broken relationships,
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Speaker 12: broken dreams, and death.
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Speaker 9: For what?
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Speaker 7: To get high?
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Speaker 12: If you have a mother or a father, when you
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Speaker 12: go home, tell them how much you love them. See,
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Speaker 12: my whole life was about being rich and famous.
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Speaker 7: I had to be a millionaire.
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Speaker 9: I had to win the race.
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Speaker 12: I had to win the race, the expense of my marriage,
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Speaker 12: my family, my friends.
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Speaker 7: For what?
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Speaker 12: To be all alone in the world? I learned what
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Speaker 12: is truly important, and that is how precious this gift
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Speaker 12: of life is and our families and how quickly it
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Speaker 12: can be taken away. See, I no longer live in time.
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Speaker 12: I live in moments. See, it's not what's in your
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Speaker 12: pocket that matters. It's what's in your heart that truly matters.
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Speaker 9: Love.
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Speaker 12: Love is just a word until somebody comes along and
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Speaker 12: gives it meaning. You. You're the.
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Speaker 9: Meaning.
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Speaker 12: You're the meaning. you've got to reevaluate and attack life again.
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Speaker 12: And it's tough, it's hard. It's like being knocked back almost.
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Speaker 12: Even though you're successful, it's like being pushed back again.
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Speaker 15: Yeah, whether you win or you lose, the depression still
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Speaker 15: sets in, right?
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Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah.
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Speaker 1: The number of teens, Gen Zers, 20-somethings suffering from depression
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Speaker 1: and anxiety and loneliness.
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Speaker 12: Loneliness is through the roof.
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Speaker 1: This is one of the biggest issues that they're dealing
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Speaker 1: with on college campuses. We rise to our maximum potential
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Speaker 1: when we're of service to others. Going back to anxiety,
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Speaker 1: going back to depression, going back to loneliness, I truly
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Speaker 1: believe that's the answer.
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Speaker 7: That's the way out of any kind of mental illness.
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Speaker 1: It's like, I'm going to make myself a better person.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to make the world a better place. And
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Speaker 1: everything that I'm doing, I've got these two chariots and
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Speaker 1: I'm going down this road or I'm going down this
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Speaker 1: road or I'm going down both together.
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Speaker 3: I've been there a lot in my life, especially before
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Speaker 3: my car accident, my teenage years. Then the first woman
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Speaker 3: I ever loved, we had a big breakup. And that
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Speaker 3: breakup sent me down into depression and suicidal planning. And
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Speaker 3: it's tough to dispense advice to people other than get help.
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Speaker 3: And I'll share why. Because that time in my life,
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Speaker 3: I had so many people coming up to me, You know,
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Speaker 3: my friends would come into my dorm room.
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Speaker 9: Let's go do something.
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Speaker 3: And you just, there's just, the hope is lost. And
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Speaker 3: what people, I think, make the mistake of trying to
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Speaker 3: do is hype people up.
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Speaker 12: Everything's going to be okay.
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Speaker 3: You're going to be great. And what people need who
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Speaker 3: are suicidal is serious psychological intervention. They need to seek
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Speaker 3: support and help. And outside of that, when they do
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Speaker 3: get that support, the first thing a great therapist is
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Speaker 3: going to do outside of the emotional reflection work of
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Speaker 3: why are you here and what has caused this sort
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Speaker 3: of pattern for you, they're going to get you starting
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Speaker 3: to get some momentum. The most important thing is when
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Speaker 3: you are super down, outside of finding that emotional reasoning
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Speaker 3: for where you are, is to start getting momentum. Because
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Speaker 3: with momentum comes hope. With momentum comes motivation. With momentum
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Speaker 3: comes that feeling that there's a reason for tomorrow. And
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Speaker 3: so it's as simple as just saying, okay, what are
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Speaker 3: three things I'm going to do today? And I don't
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Speaker 3: mean that like a lot of personal development guys.
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Speaker 9: Would say like, what are your three big goals for
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Speaker 9: the day?
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Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, sometimes that first goal is I'm going
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Speaker 3: to shower today.
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Speaker 12: I'm really in the shower today.
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Speaker 3: I'm going to walk to the library.
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Speaker 7: I'm going to come home.
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Speaker 12: And that's all they got. Like literally, that's all they got.
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Speaker 3: And you got to honor that struggle when you're in
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Speaker 3: that place. Like know that where you're at, it is okay.
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Speaker 9: That you're there.
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Speaker 12: And now you're going to need help.
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Speaker 3: And now you're going to have to set up some
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Speaker 3: daily practices just every day.
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Speaker 16: Win a little bit.
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Speaker 9: Not like win your dreams. Not like crush through goals.
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Speaker 7: Not like be a badass.
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Speaker 11: Not like, no.
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Speaker 14: Momentum.
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Speaker 3: Most of the guys I've dealt with in that position
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Speaker 3: who were suicidal, outside of their therapeutic work, I said.
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Speaker 4: The most important thing you can do is win the morning.
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Speaker 3: I don't want to ever be flippant with the advice
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Speaker 3: to people who are dealing with that situation outside of,
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Speaker 3: get some help, get some momentum, and be okay if
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Speaker 3: that momentum is really small.
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Speaker 7: Because it will build.
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Speaker 3: Trust that that momentum builds, and trust that those gloomy
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Speaker 3: and bad, dark days, trust that those are going to
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Speaker 3: be there. They'll get less and less and less as
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Speaker 3: you learn how to cope, but they're going to be there.
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Speaker 3: And so when they're there, it's one of my, I mean,
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Speaker 3: outside of teaching people to bring the joy in my life,
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Speaker 3: I teach people to honor the struggle, honor the difficulty.
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Speaker 3: When we honor the struggle instead of hate the struggle,
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Speaker 3: we can really achieve extraordinary things because our mindset's in
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Speaker 3: the right place. As soon as you honor the struggle,
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Speaker 3: you accept that, oh, of course, there should be struggle here.
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Speaker 3: I should honor this process. When you go to the
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Speaker 3: gym to work out, you honor that this is going
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Speaker 3: to be hard and honor that process of getting better.
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Speaker 3: And the more that you bring honor to it, the
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Speaker 3: more your psyche builds with strength and you get a
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Speaker 3: little bit of that esteem back because you see yourself
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Speaker 3: engaging something versus avoiding it and running away. You see
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Speaker 3: yourself connecting with something and giving it reverence. Like, I
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Speaker 3: have reverence for the difficulties of life.
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Speaker 9: They may be better.
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Speaker 3: So I don't want a friction-free life. I'm not interested
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Speaker 3: in it. I like to say sometimes that the journey
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Speaker 3: to greatness begins the moment that our deep desires for
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Speaker 3: comfort and ease are overpowered by our desires to connect
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Speaker 3: and contribute.
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Speaker 2: When there are really hard times, there are so many
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Speaker 2: tools that you can use to help yourself in those times.
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Speaker 2: And it does get better and easier as life goes
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Speaker 2: on and you start to get to know yourself more
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Speaker 2: and what will trigger certain instances of anxiety and where
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Speaker 2: you feel comfortable and safe. So I'm just saying, don't
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Speaker 2: ever feel like you're a weirdo for it because.
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Speaker 12: We're all weirdos.
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Speaker 14: My father left school in the third grade to help
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Speaker 14: out on the family farm, but just because he left
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Speaker 14: school doesn't mean his education stopped. Mark Twain once said,
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Speaker 14: I've never allowed my schooling to get in the way
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Speaker 14: of my education.
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Speaker 7: My father taught.
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Speaker 14: Himself how to read, taught himself how to write, decided
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Speaker 14: in the midst of Jim Crowism, as America was breathing
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Speaker 14: the last gasp of the Civil War, my father decided
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Speaker 14: he was going to stand and be a man. Not
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Speaker 14: a black man, not a brown man, not a white man,
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Speaker 14: but a man. He literally challenged himself to be the
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Speaker 14: best that he could all the days of his life.
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Speaker 7: I have four degrees.
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Speaker 14: My brother is a judge. We're not the smartest ones
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Speaker 14: in our family. It's a third grade dropout daddy. A
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Speaker 14: third grade dropout daddy who was quoting Michelangelo when he
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Speaker 14: was a cook at Cal Maritime, saying to us, boys,
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Speaker 14: I won't have a problem if you aim high and miss,
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Speaker 14: but I'm going to have a real issue if you
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Speaker 14: aim low and hit. You see, it takes knowledge. and
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Speaker 14: wisdom combined to grow your influence so that you'll make
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Speaker 14: an impact. You'll be a shipmate that others can count on.
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Speaker 14: I learned that from a third grade drop.
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Speaker 7: Simple lessons.
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Speaker 14: Lessons like these. Son, don't judge people. The tendency of
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Speaker 14: a person is to walk away from somebody that's different
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Speaker 14: from them.
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Speaker 9: You stay there and you get to know them.
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Speaker 14: Never judge. Then he dropped Jonathan Swift on me, who said,
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Speaker 14: vision is the ability to see the invisible.
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Speaker 9: Don't judge.
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Speaker 14: Another lesson from this third grade dropout. Son, you'd rather
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Speaker 14: be an hour early than a minute late. My father
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Speaker 14: had the breakfast and lunch shift here at the academy.
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Speaker 14: He had to be at work at five o'clock. We
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Speaker 14: lived on Louisiana Street, 15 minutes away. My mother said
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Speaker 14: for nearly 30 years, my father left the house at 3.45
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Speaker 14: in the morning. One day she asked him, why daddy?
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Speaker 14: He said, maybe one of my boys will catch me
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Speaker 14: in the act of excellence. I want to share two
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Speaker 14: things with you. Aristotle said, you are what you repeatedly do. Therefore,
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Speaker 14: excellence ought to be a habit, not an act. Don't
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Speaker 14: ever forget that. The other thing I want to share
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Speaker 14: with you is Harvard Business Review, September 2004. The article
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Speaker 14: is titled Deep Smarts. Here's the thesis.
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Speaker 9: Lecturing.
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Speaker 14: What our universities are based upon is the worst kind
15:26
Speaker 14: of teaching method.
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Speaker 7: That if you want to get the intended message across,
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Speaker 7: model the behavior.
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Speaker 14: My daddy, a third grade dropout, a cook, was modeling
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Speaker 14: excellence for his boys. Combining academic knowledge and old school wisdom,
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Speaker 14: that's what makes an impact. An impact as you go
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Speaker 14: all over the world. You're not interested in making a
15:52
Speaker 14: nice impression, you want to make an impact. Lesson number three, son,
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Speaker 14: make sure your servant's towel is bigger than your ego.
16:00
Speaker 14: I want to remind you cadets of something as you graduate.
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Speaker 14: Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity.
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Speaker 14: Pride is the burden of a foolish person. You'll never
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Speaker 14: be a great shipmate. You'll never be a great executive.
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Speaker 14: You'll never be a great teammate if it's all about you.
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Speaker 14: Let me take you back to two days before Trina died.
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Speaker 14: No hair because of chemotherapy, cadets. A tummy pooched out
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Speaker 14: because of a liver no longer working. She weighed about
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Speaker 14: 75 pounds. I'm in the kitchen so I can keep
16:32
Speaker 14: an eye on her in the family room. She's surrounded
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Speaker 14: by pillows. Our then youngest son, Andrew, walks up with
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Speaker 14: a shirt that he wants mommy to fold. And this
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Speaker 14: is what I hear from Trina. Andrew, mama not always
16:50
Speaker 14: gonna be there to help you. She was saying goodbye.
16:56
Speaker 14: And I was so moved, I waited for Andrew to
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Speaker 14: leave and I walked over and I sat next to
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Speaker 14: her on the couch. And as clearly as I'm talking
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Speaker 14: to you today, these were some of her last words
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Speaker 14: to me. She looked me in the eye and she said,
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Speaker 14: it doesn't matter to me any longer how long I live.
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Speaker 14: What matters to me most is how I live. Cadets,
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Speaker 14: I've come here with honor, with bells on. to ask
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Speaker 14: y'all one question. A question that I was asked all
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Speaker 14: my life by a third grade dropout. How you living?
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Speaker 14: How you living? Every day ask yourself that question. How
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Speaker 14: you living? Here's what a cook in the dining center
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Speaker 14: would suggest. That you would not judge. That you would
17:45
Speaker 14: show up early. That you'd be kind. That you'd make
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Speaker 14: sure that that servant's towel is huge and used. That
17:53
Speaker 14: if you're going to do something, you do it the
17:55
Speaker 14: right way.
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Speaker 7: That cook would tell.
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Speaker 14: You this, that it's never wrong to do the right thing.
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Speaker 14: That how you do anything is how you do everything.
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Speaker 14: And in that way, you will grow your influence to
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Speaker 14: make an impact. In that way, you will honor all
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Speaker 14: those who have gone before you, who have invested in you.
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Speaker 14: From teachers to grandparents to mom and dad. And when
18:17
Speaker 14: you combine that academic knowledge with that wisdom, oh my goodness,
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Speaker 14: you will change the world. It is with great honor
18:27
Speaker 14: that I say all your life, look in those unlikeliest
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Speaker 14: places for wisdom. Enhance your life every day by seeking
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Speaker 14: that wisdom and asking yourself every night, how am I living?
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Speaker 14: May God richly bless y'all. Thank you for having me here.
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Speaker 9: Think of anxiety just as a peculiar sensation, like.
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Speaker 12: When you have an itch. When you have an itch, you.
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Speaker 1: Scratch it if you can, and if you can't, you
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Speaker 1: just let the sensation pass.
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Speaker 9: Try to do the same thing when you're feeling anxious.
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Speaker 9: Mindfulness meditators talk about that. Okay, just let it come in,
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Speaker 9: don't resist it.
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Speaker 12: You can just feel it, breathe through it, and if
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Speaker 12: you don't allow it to hijack you, it will just
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Speaker 12: pass like just another sensation.
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Speaker 7: What's on the other side of this?
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Speaker 13: These are a lot of things that, you know, in
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Speaker 13: my past I used to struggle with a lot, letting
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Speaker 13: my mind race and race and run. And truthfully, that
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Speaker 13: for me is where anxiety lives.
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Speaker 7: It's where anxiety is born.
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Speaker 13: It's where anxiety begins to find itself taking a hold
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Speaker 13: of me, of not taking control of what I can
19:41
Speaker 13: only control.
19:42
Speaker 7: I don't know what tomorrow holds.
19:44
Speaker 13: I don't know what's next. I don't quite understand the
19:48
Speaker 13: landscape of everything that's happening. But what I do have
19:52
Speaker 13: and what I do know and what I can control
19:54
Speaker 13: is right now. And seeing my life in the proper perspective.
19:59
Speaker 13: I always say perspective changes kind of our perception. And
20:05
Speaker 13: For me, the best way that I've been combating the anxieties,
20:08
Speaker 13: the unknowns, is being present in the moment. Being present
20:13
Speaker 13: with knowing how can I use this time to grow personally?
20:17
Speaker 13: How can I be better at dealing with certain areas
20:20
Speaker 13: in my life?
20:22
Speaker 8: You know, everything was telling me just to give up.
20:25
Speaker 8: I was in a dark, dark place. I didn't know
20:27
Speaker 8: how I was going to do it. I didn't know
20:28
Speaker 8: I was going to push through. I had great people
20:31
Speaker 8: around me, but more importantly, I just, in my own brain,
20:34
Speaker 8: which all of you have the ability to control, in
20:38
Speaker 8: my own brain, I told myself that I could do it,
20:40
Speaker 8: and I just kept pushing through. And it actually became
20:44
Speaker 8: my biggest strength. My biggest weakness at the time became
20:48
Speaker 8: my biggest strength. It became my biggest driver. My biggest
20:53
Speaker 8: inspiration was that shit. I managed to use that as
20:57
Speaker 8: a driver to drive me forward. And get me to
21:01
Speaker 8: where I am today. If it wasn't for those times.
21:04
Speaker 8: If it wasn't for that shit. I wouldn't be sitting
21:06
Speaker 8: here today.
21:07
Speaker 7: Where I am today. With the people around me that
21:09
Speaker 7: I've got today. No way.
21:12
Speaker 8: So the dark times are always going to be there.
21:15
Speaker 8: But I promise you.
21:16
Speaker 7: I promise. If you just keep pushing through. You're going
21:19
Speaker 7: to see the light. So what if?
21:24
Speaker 11: What if you change your narrative? What if you put
21:27
Speaker 11: your phone down. And start living without worrying about. about
21:30
Speaker 11: what everyone else is doing? What if you stepped out
21:33
Speaker 11: of your comfort zone to meet new people in new circles?
21:36
Speaker 11: What if you studied half an hour longer each night
21:39
Speaker 11: to get into that program? What if I filled my
21:42
Speaker 11: heart with gratitude instead of filling my mind with worries?
21:47
Speaker 11: What if I stopped worrying so much about life and
21:51
Speaker 11: just started living it?
21:53
Speaker 7: And I want you to say this over and over
21:55
Speaker 7: and over and over again until you believe it in
21:58
Speaker 7: your heart of hearts.
22:00
Speaker 12: I am enough. I am worthy.
22:05
Speaker 9: My life matters.
22:09
Speaker 7: I forgive myself.
22:11
Speaker 9: I can and will be happy.
22:15
Speaker 7: I can move on. I love me some me. And
22:20
Speaker 7: it's not over until I'm smiling again.
22:30
Speaker 9: I was depressed.
22:31
Speaker 7: I was tired.
22:32
Speaker 10: I was struggling. I felt like I was an accident. Like,
22:35
Speaker 10: what's the purpose of life? Like, why am I here?
22:37
Speaker 10: You know, I felt like I couldn't fit in. When
22:39
Speaker 10: it was time to read, I didn't want to read
22:41
Speaker 10: because somebody was going to tease me because I wasn't
22:42
Speaker 10: a good reader. We was always getting into fights. People
22:45
Speaker 10: was bullying me. Then there was a time when I
22:46
Speaker 10: was the bully.
22:47
Speaker 9: Like, I just struggled.
22:48
Speaker 10: And I was like, what's the point of it all?
22:51
Speaker 10: And my mom's a great mom, so she moved me
22:52
Speaker 10: to another school. So now I'm at the school now
22:55
Speaker 10: called Huntsville High. This is my third school for the
22:59
Speaker 10: ninth grade. Now I'm at this new school, and I
23:02
Speaker 10: don't know how to explain it to you, but I
23:04
Speaker 10: got a group of teachers.
23:05
Speaker 9: I felt like they were weird. They were saying stuff like, Jeremy,
23:09
Speaker 9: we believe in you. I'm like, me? One teacher was like, oh, yeah,
23:13
Speaker 9: Jeremy Anderson.
23:14
Speaker 10: I taught my man, ah, this is going to be
23:16
Speaker 10: the best year ever.
23:18
Speaker 9: I'm like, okay.
23:21
Speaker 10: One teacher, I had to ask him, I was like,
23:22
Speaker 10: wait a second. Y'all are way too enthusiastic. Did y'all
23:25
Speaker 10: get my transcripts? Like, y'all got the right Jeremy? They
23:28
Speaker 10: was like, yep, we got the right Jeremy, but you're
23:30
Speaker 10: in a new season now. So you don't have to
23:33
Speaker 10: worry about the past. I was like, yeah, but you
23:35
Speaker 10: do know about last year.
23:36
Speaker 14: Yep.
23:37
Speaker 10: I said, you know, that's my third school. They was like,
23:38
Speaker 10: we're not worried about that again, Jeremy. You're in a
23:40
Speaker 10: new season now.
23:41
Speaker 9: So let's not.
23:42
Speaker 10: Bring old things into a new season. And they began
23:46
Speaker 10: to speak life to me. They began to encourage me.
23:48
Speaker 10: They began to affirm me. And because I was young
23:50
Speaker 10: and I was immature, I kind of felt like, well,
23:52
Speaker 10: you don't really understand my story. You don't come from
23:54
Speaker 10: where I come from. And I try to build a
23:56
Speaker 10: wall up. But you know what knocked that wall down?
23:59
Speaker 7: It's love.
24:01
Speaker 9: You know what knocked that wall down? It was perseverance.
24:04
Speaker 9: You know what knocked that wall down?
24:06
Speaker 10: It was like unwavering commitment and support. And I realized
24:09
Speaker 10: you can be black, white, purple, blue, green.
24:11
Speaker 9: We need each other.
24:12
Speaker 10: And if you're showing up because you believe in me
24:15
Speaker 10: and you see great things inside me, like maybe, just
24:18
Speaker 10: maybe I could do great things. Your mindset, your belief
24:24
Speaker 10: system is everything. And it is so powerful. And so
24:28
Speaker 10: I came all the way from Atlanta, Georgia to tell you,
24:31
Speaker 10: you are not a mistake. You are not an accident.
24:33
Speaker 10: You are here for a reason. I know you're going through.
24:36
Speaker 9: Some hard times.
24:37
Speaker 10: I know life at times might feel rough or you
24:39
Speaker 10: might feel weird or things might be frustrating, but it's
24:42
Speaker 10: not going to always be like this.
24:43
Speaker 9: Your condition is not your conclusion.
24:46
Speaker 10: There is so much more that's going to take place.
24:48
Speaker 10: There is so much more power that's inside you. If
24:50
Speaker 10: you make up in your mind, I choose to believe
24:53
Speaker 10: that I can do great things.
24:55
Speaker 9: And I promise you, my young friends.
24:56
Speaker 10: I got to a point in life when I was like, man,
24:58
Speaker 10: I got these teachers.
25:00
Speaker 9: They must really care.
25:01
Speaker 10: Like when you start having teachers that get diagnosed with cancer, but.
25:04
Speaker 9: They still show up to school.
25:05
Speaker 10: One of my teachers had arthritis so bad, she couldn't
25:08
Speaker 10: even write on the chalkboard. Other teacher was going through
25:11
Speaker 10: a divorce. Another one that just buried her child. I'm
25:13
Speaker 10: looking at all these teachers that's going through life just
25:16
Speaker 10: like you, just like me, but they kept showing up.
25:20
Speaker 10: So something inside my brain said, maybe I am worth it.
25:25
Speaker 10: Something inside me said, maybe I can do great things.
25:29
Speaker 10: For them to jump through all these hoops and go
25:31
Speaker 10: out of their way to kind of connect with me,
25:34
Speaker 10: for them to make these sacrifices, maybe it is possible
25:37
Speaker 10: for me.
25:37
Speaker 9: It's the same way with you.
25:43
Speaker 10: Sometimes I go back to like being that little boy
25:45
Speaker 10: in the hallway that ever heard that teacher tell my
25:47
Speaker 10: mom that I wasn't high school material.
25:49
Speaker 9: Then I have to remind myself like, no, no, no, no, no.
25:52
Speaker 9: That's not true.
25:53
Speaker 7: I am that.
25:54
Speaker 9: I can do that. I can achieve that. Sometimes I
25:55
Speaker 9: have to remind myself, what am I telling you? Like
25:58
Speaker 9: life can be hard. Life can be rough, but there's
26:00
Speaker 9: something special.
26:01
Speaker 10: And there's something powerful about the human mind and about
26:05
Speaker 10: the human.
26:05
Speaker 9: Spirit and about the human will when you tell yourself,
26:08
Speaker 9: I won't give up. I won't surrender. I won't quit.
26:10
Speaker 10: I'm going to show up every single day and do
26:12
Speaker 10: the best that I can.
26:14
Speaker 9: And here's the beautiful.
26:15
Speaker 10: Thing about you is while you're going through your process
26:20
Speaker 10: and while you're trying to navigate these waters and while
26:23
Speaker 10: you're still, you know, trying to tweak some stuff within yourself.
26:26
Speaker 10: you still got the power to save somebody else's life.
26:29
Speaker 10: You got the power to speak up for others. You
26:32
Speaker 10: got the power to be the voice of reason for
26:34
Speaker 10: someone who might be on the verge of doing something
26:36
Speaker 10: they shouldn't do. You have the power to brighten somebody's day.
26:39
Speaker 10: Your words are powerful. Your energy is powerful. And so
26:43
Speaker 10: I don't want you all to think that you have
26:45
Speaker 10: to have it all together and everything for you has
26:47
Speaker 10: to be perfect in order for you to be a leader.
26:49
Speaker 9: No, no, no, no, no, no. You can make an impact.
26:51
Speaker 9: You can make a difference.
26:52
Speaker 10: You can save somebody's life right now by you just
26:55
Speaker 10: being unapologetically you and you walking in that calling and
26:59
Speaker 10: you speak life and you affirm and you let others
27:02
Speaker 10: know I see you and I'm with you and I
27:04
Speaker 10: got your back and you're not by yourself and I
27:06
Speaker 10: will hold your hand as you go throughout this journey
27:09
Speaker 10: and even though I'm struggling, I don't mind fighting on
27:12
Speaker 10: behalf of.
27:12
Speaker 9: You and we're going to figure this thing out together.
27:18
Speaker 9: Key word, together.
27:19
Speaker 10: We're going to figure this thing out together. There's something
27:25
Speaker 10: beautiful about us having that mindset.
27:27
Speaker 9: Of us being together. You know what I'm saying?
27:30
Speaker 10: Not black, white, Asian, Hispanic, not Republican, Democrat, independent, not
27:35
Speaker 10: gay or straight, not like male or female, like us
27:38
Speaker 10: coming together saying, man, we are human.
27:40
Speaker 9: We are here.
27:41
Speaker 10: And I believe that there is more that makes us together.
27:45
Speaker 10: There is more than we have in common than we
27:47
Speaker 10: have that's not in common.
27:49
Speaker 9: And I believe that our differences is.
27:51
Speaker 10: What makes us so doggone amazing.
27:55
Speaker 9: Our differences.
28:02
Speaker 7: And I woke up in a hospital bed. The paramedics report,
28:09
Speaker 7: it said this.
28:12
Speaker 16: It said when they arrived on scene, that there was
28:16
Speaker 16: only one person in the vehicle, me.
28:19
Speaker 7: And that I hit the tree going anywhere.
28:21
Speaker 13: From 60 to 63 miles an hour.
28:23
Speaker 9: There was no brakes. I didn't even try to stop.
28:28
Speaker 13: And when I hit that tree, that case of beer bottles,
28:30
Speaker 13: that was behind her.
28:34
Speaker 7: Catapulted forward at impact. And that woman named Priscilla who
28:42
Speaker 7: didn't have her seatbelt on.
28:44
Speaker 13: Catapulted forward at impact.
28:48
Speaker 7: And that thing called the windshield in your car.
28:52
Speaker 13: And that case of beer bottles met with Priscilla in between.
28:58
Speaker 13: And she slid down to the floorboard and her neck
29:01
Speaker 13: rested on the middle console.
29:04
Speaker 7: So I stayed up all night that night. You know what?
29:06
Speaker 13: The paper had read to Lifeline in a serious accident.
29:11
Speaker 7: Took him to Parkview Hospital.
29:13
Speaker 13: Nobody would tell me if she was alive, if she
29:15
Speaker 13: was dead.
29:16
Speaker 7: I had no idea. But I knew the paper said
29:18
Speaker 7: something that morning. And if she was alive or she
29:20
Speaker 7: passed away, the paper.
29:21
Speaker 13: Would probably say something the next morning. The paper man
29:26
Speaker 13: shows up at like 4 a.m. He comes driving by.
29:30
Speaker 13: Everything slows down like a movie. He rolls the window
29:34
Speaker 13: and he throws the paper, it hits, boom. I jump up,
29:38
Speaker 13: grab it, I rip open the rubber band. I roll
29:40
Speaker 13: it open, and there's the headline. Crash Victim Dies.
29:47
Speaker 7: At 23, I was responsible for for taking her life.
30:04
Speaker 7: Never did I think when I was in the fifth, sixth.
30:06
Speaker 13: Seventh, eighth grade that at 23, I'd be responsible for
30:11
Speaker 13: taking the life of somebody.
30:14
Speaker 7: What happened though, is the family wanted me to contact
30:16
Speaker 7: them right after that. And I called and what do
30:18
Speaker 7: you say to that? You know, what do you say?
30:20
Speaker 7: I'm sorry.
30:21
Speaker 13: But I called and the family said, Nathan, listen, Priscilla
30:25
Speaker 13: was sober.
30:25
Speaker 9: It was her vehicle.
30:26
Speaker 13: We can't put all the blame on you, which I
30:28
Speaker 13: didn't agree with.
30:29
Speaker 7: I was solely to blame.
30:30
Speaker 12: I was the driver.
30:31
Speaker 7: I don't care how drunk I was. It was my fault.
30:35
Speaker 9: But they said, listen, there's no reason for two families
30:38
Speaker 9: to be destroyed.
30:40
Speaker 7: We want you to know that.
30:40
Speaker 13: We love you, even though we don't know you. We
30:44
Speaker 13: forgive you, even though we don't know you. But do
30:46
Speaker 13: us a favor. Just try to make the world a
30:48
Speaker 13: better place. Try to don't let Priscilla die for nothing.
30:53
Speaker 13: Just make a difference. What I do, my life speaks
31:04
Speaker 13: louder than words because when I begin to change my life.
31:08
Speaker 13: I'm going to learn to make good choices. I'm going
31:10
Speaker 13: to learn to be responsible. I'm going to be dedicated.
31:13
Speaker 13: I'm going to have good characters and morals and values.
31:16
Speaker 13: I'm going to own up when wrong. I'm going to
31:18
Speaker 13: be truthful. I'm going to stand up for what I
31:20
Speaker 13: know is right. And I won't let anybody change me.
31:22
Speaker 13: And maybe that's not where you're at right now, but
31:24
Speaker 13: you can get there.
31:25
Speaker 7: And these are the attributes of success, man. If you
31:28
Speaker 7: want something in life. You got to be willing to
31:31
Speaker 7: do what nobody.
31:31
Speaker 13: Else has done. If you keep doing the same thing
31:34
Speaker 13: you've always done, it's the definition of insanity.
31:37
Speaker 9: If you want to change, you're going to have to
31:39
Speaker 9: be willing to change.
31:43
Speaker 13: Good choices will always have good results.
31:47
Speaker 9: And I was making a lot of bad.
31:49
Speaker 7: Choices and a lot of bad decisions.
31:51
Speaker 13: And I was basing my value, my worth off your opinions.
31:56
Speaker 7: And I learned something.
31:56
Speaker 13: Listen to me, everybody in here, I want you to
31:58
Speaker 13: understand something.
32:00
Speaker 7: Your value is never based off.
32:02
Speaker 13: Any of the opinions of anybody in this room. Who
32:06
Speaker 13: cares what anybody thinks or says about you?
32:08
Speaker 7: They are not your merit system.
32:10
Speaker 9: They are not your system of worth.
32:13
Speaker 7: You are who you say you are by your actions.
32:19
Speaker 13: But the choices and decisions that we make have consequences,
32:22
Speaker 13: good or bad.
32:25
Speaker 7: When I went to prison.
32:29
Speaker 16: At 23, listen, I came from a broken family. I
32:32
Speaker 16: had been labeled and I marked and identified. I had
32:34
Speaker 16: battled hurts and pains and wounds. I had suicidal thoughts
32:37
Speaker 16: and I had battled self-harming. Drugs and alcohol had consumed me.
32:40
Speaker 16: I had lost all dreams and goals. I felt like
32:42
Speaker 16: I had made too many mistakes to change.
32:44
Speaker 13: Listen, I felt like I had every reason to say,
32:47
Speaker 13: you know what, life is too tough and I quit.
32:53
Speaker 13: I live with these three principles, and I promise you, man,
32:56
Speaker 13: they will change everything about who you are.
32:58
Speaker 7: Hard work works. Make good choices. Good things happen.
33:02
Speaker 9: And value people.
33:04
Speaker 13: I decided 10 years ago, literally, when this all happened,
33:08
Speaker 13: and I went to prison, I wanted to be... I
33:09
Speaker 13: was like, you know what? I want to make this promise.
33:11
Speaker 13: I want to keep it to this family. I come
33:13
Speaker 13: from a lot of brokenness. I don't know where to start.
33:15
Speaker 13: But what I do know is the importance of the choices.
33:17
Speaker 9: That I make.
33:18
Speaker 13: And so literally... I wrote the word, changed the world,
33:21
Speaker 13: and I slapped it on my little prison cell window.
33:23
Speaker 13: And every single day I woke up and I realized,
33:28
Speaker 13: make good choices.
33:29
Speaker 9: Great things happen.
33:31
Speaker 7: Aim small, miss small. Make good choices, great things happen.
33:37
Speaker 13: You see, every choice that I can make, listen, I
33:40
Speaker 13: can't control what you think about me. I can't control
33:42
Speaker 13: your opinion of me. I can't control what you say
33:44
Speaker 13: about me. But I control how I react, respond, and
33:47
Speaker 13: what I do with my life. I'm in control of
33:49
Speaker 13: my life. I don't let external factors control me. I'm
33:52
Speaker 13: in control of my life. Because sometimes life can be tough.
34:01
Speaker 13: Life can be challenging. And sometimes the obstacles in front
34:05
Speaker 13: of you seem like they're too big and it's easier
34:07
Speaker 13: just to lay down. But you know what I remember?
34:10
Speaker 13: I remember when my dad used to look at me
34:11
Speaker 13: when the kids said, listen, Nathan, life is never going
34:13
Speaker 13: to give you anything. But if you make it and
34:15
Speaker 13: if you build it, nobody can take it from you.
34:19
Speaker 13: Because hard work and tenacity and refusing to quit and
34:22
Speaker 13: chasing your dream, you'll get there, I promise you. Maybe
34:24
Speaker 13: you don't hit the start, but you'll land on the moon.
34:27
Speaker 13: You just don't give up and you go after it
34:28
Speaker 13: and you stop caring about the opinions of people around you.
34:30
Speaker 13: Stop blaming everybody from your hurts. Take ownership of your life.
34:34
Speaker 13: Take off your mask.
34:35
Speaker 12: Don't feed the bear.
34:36
Speaker 9: Make good choices.
34:37
Speaker 12: Be a best friend.
34:38
Speaker 7: Encourage somebody.
34:39
Speaker 13: Be a voice of hope and inspiration.
34:44
Speaker 7: This is your moment.
34:49
Speaker 17: Look, you never look good trying to make someone else
34:53
Speaker 17: look bad. I don't care what the circumstances are. You
34:57
Speaker 17: never look good trying to make somebody.
34:59
Speaker 9: Else look bad. And I'm telling you, people are going
35:01
Speaker 9: to try to do it.
35:02
Speaker 17: And especially, especially if you shine, especially if you're handling
35:07
Speaker 17: your business, especially if you're successful, you become a target.
35:13
Speaker 17: You know, you got people who, unfortunately, they're not happy.
35:16
Speaker 17: They're not where they want to be. And so they're
35:18
Speaker 17: going to dog you out. Or try to bring you
35:20
Speaker 17: down because some kind of way it brings them satisfaction.
35:24
Speaker 9: Look, stay on your post. Keep doing you. Don't come off.
35:27
Speaker 17: Look, don't come off A's to pay them no attention.
35:31
Speaker 17: Don't come off being no honor roll student to pay
35:33
Speaker 17: them no attention. Don't come off of you had dreams
35:37
Speaker 17: and goals. You're trying to accomplish something, get something done.
35:39
Speaker 17: You're trying to execute. You know what I'm saying? You
35:42
Speaker 17: try to make it happen in your life. You're going
35:45
Speaker 17: to get off your success. You're going to get off
35:48
Speaker 17: your journey.
35:53
Speaker 18: I get tired of being associated with someone who is
35:58
Speaker 18: bullied because I don't allow that to happen anymore at all.
36:02
Speaker 18: I'm proud of kind of where I'm at now because
36:04
Speaker 18: the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage
36:07
Speaker 18: of me or isn't kind, I have the option to
36:12
Speaker 18: walk away now, which I didn't when I was a kid.
36:16
Speaker 19: You know what's crazy to me? The fact that 7
36:19
Speaker 19: out of 10 young people will have a cyberbullying experience
36:22
Speaker 19: before they turn 18 years old. Now don't get me wrong,
36:24
Speaker 19: I'm all for the growth of technology, but the fact
36:27
Speaker 19: that cyberbullying allows the bully to be more aggressive and
36:29
Speaker 19: it can cause long-term effects in victims such as mental
36:32
Speaker 19: health and self-esteem problems is kind of concerning. If you
36:36
Speaker 19: or someone you know is being affected by cyberbullying in
36:39
Speaker 19: any way or any kind of bullying, really, please reach
36:42
Speaker 19: out to a trusted adult and try and solve the issue.
36:45
Speaker 19: Of course, if you're more comfortable with talking to someone
36:48
Speaker 19: over the phone or you're just too shy to reach
36:50
Speaker 19: out to somebody in your life, please try calling one
36:52
Speaker 19: of the following hotlines on screen or the ones in
36:55
Speaker 19: the description. And the biggest thing to remember is that
36:58
Speaker 19: mental health matters. We have to normalize asking for help
37:01
Speaker 19: and getting access to affordable mental health.
37:03
Speaker 8: Care and support. It's so important.
37:10
Speaker 20: So there was a group in my church who was
37:13
Speaker 20: having like a, just to get together, going to a pool.
37:16
Speaker 20: And I was so incredibly excited because I loved to swim.
37:19
Speaker 20: It was like that place where I just felt total freedom, right?
37:22
Speaker 20: Especially in the water.
37:23
Speaker 12: And I.
37:25
Speaker 20: Was so excited to show off my skills because at
37:28
Speaker 20: the time it was like, I loved to perform. I
37:30
Speaker 20: love to force everyone in my family to watch me
37:32
Speaker 20: like do dances and sing and all of that. I
37:35
Speaker 20: was that annoying.
37:35
Speaker 12: Kid in the family.
37:37
Speaker 20: And so went to the pool, was so excited about
37:40
Speaker 20: going off the diving board to show all of my
37:43
Speaker 20: friends what I could do. And my crush happened to
37:46
Speaker 20: be there who I was obsessed with along with these
37:48
Speaker 20: two other girls that were in my church and they
37:51
Speaker 20: were super thin. And I remember looking at them again
37:54
Speaker 20: at such a young age and comparing my body to
37:56
Speaker 20: theirs and being like, why am I not thin like them?
38:00
Speaker 20: Why can't I just be thin like them? Because I
38:01
Speaker 20: knew the boys liked them as well. So I got
38:04
Speaker 20: up on the diving board, And I remember just hearing chanting,
38:08
Speaker 20: like all of a sudden hearing chanting from my friends.
38:11
Speaker 20: And I tuned in and I was like, oh my God,
38:15
Speaker 20: they're saying whale. They were yelling whale, whale, whale. And
38:20
Speaker 20: in that moment, it was just like totally deflated. That
38:24
Speaker 20: was the moment that I realized that words are so
38:27
Speaker 20: energetic without knowing that's what it meant. And it was like,
38:31
Speaker 20: it just slayed my heart. And I jumped into the
38:33
Speaker 20: water because there was nowhere else to go. And under
38:36
Speaker 20: the water, I just, I was bawling, thinking, I'm not
38:39
Speaker 20: going to come back up. I don't want to come
38:41
Speaker 20: back up. This was my friends. Like, the only people
38:43
Speaker 20: that I had ever known are now basically criticizing me
38:48
Speaker 20: because of my body. And now I'm feeling that I'm
38:50
Speaker 20: just a body and that I'm useless if it's not
38:52
Speaker 20: the body I want. So there was a moment, though,
38:56
Speaker 20: it was like I remember sinking and sinking and feeling
38:58
Speaker 20: the bubbles and hearing that wail in your ears. Have
39:00
Speaker 20: you ever had those moments where you just hear your
39:02
Speaker 20: own pain?
39:02
Speaker 9: And....
39:04
Speaker 20: There was this moment, and it was like, just wait.
39:09
Speaker 12: Just wait.
39:10
Speaker 9: It was like, I'm going to show you.
39:11
Speaker 20: And that was it. It was like something went off
39:13
Speaker 20: in me that was, I will never feel this much
39:16
Speaker 20: pain again.
39:16
Speaker 4: Truth of the matter is, whether you're growing up, you're
39:22
Speaker 4: a foreigner like I am in this country, and you're
39:23
Speaker 4: growing up against bigotry and hate and being broke and
39:27
Speaker 4: moving around from school to school and being bullied and
39:29
Speaker 4: picked on, or you're an entrepreneur and you're trying to
39:33
Speaker 4: build your business, turn your idea into a dream and
39:36
Speaker 4: help people, you're going to come across adversities, challenges, setbacks
39:42
Speaker 4: and you've got to have a reason why and most
39:47
Speaker 4: people who succeed ultimately have a strong reason why.
39:50
Speaker 17: I tell a story about my daughter. She went to a,
39:57
Speaker 17: she transferred, I think it was her seventh grade, yeah, seventh,
40:02
Speaker 17: eighth grade, she transitioned to a predominantly white school. So
40:06
Speaker 17: she went from a school that was very diverse, very diverse,
40:11
Speaker 17: you know, to a predominantly, and I remember her first,
40:14
Speaker 17: you know, few weeks there was a tough transition. She
40:16
Speaker 17: didn't know anybody.
40:18
Speaker 9: You know, we just moved into the neighborhood.
40:20
Speaker 17: And I remember, you know, she was just talking about
40:23
Speaker 17: some of the kids were racist. Some of the kids
40:25
Speaker 17: were making, you know, fun of her. You know, they
40:28
Speaker 17: they wouldn't embrace her.
40:31
Speaker 9: And it was one kid. I don't remember the kid,
40:32
Speaker 9: but the.
40:33
Speaker 17: Kid had a little influence. He had a little juice,
40:36
Speaker 17: you know, and he said to, you know, whoever it
40:39
Speaker 17: was like, oh, this ain't right. You know, we got
40:41
Speaker 17: to do right. And I remember my daughter coming home
40:44
Speaker 17: geeked up like I'm. I'm with the popular kids. I
40:47
Speaker 17: was like, whatever that means. But it was a major
40:52
Speaker 17: moment for her. And then I remember maybe a few
40:56
Speaker 17: months later, a student came and was going through what
40:59
Speaker 17: she was going through. And I remember my daughter expressing
41:02
Speaker 17: it to me. I was like, yo, you know what
41:03
Speaker 17: you got to do, don't you?
41:05
Speaker 7: She's like, no, what?
41:05
Speaker 9: I'm like, come on, you know what you got to do.
41:07
Speaker 17: She's like, what, dad? I was like, you have to
41:09
Speaker 17: be for that person. what somebody else was for you.
41:14
Speaker 17: You got to be that bridge, baby girl. You got
41:16
Speaker 17: to be that bridge. You can't be that one, not
41:19
Speaker 17: only who's, you know, ostracizing them, you know, and making
41:24
Speaker 17: fun of them, right? You got to, you can't be
41:27
Speaker 17: the person who neutral either. You know what I'm saying?
41:29
Speaker 17: You can't be the person that just sit back and
41:31
Speaker 17: watch and don't say nothing. So you know how I
41:33
Speaker 17: felt for somebody to defend you, for somebody to vouch
41:38
Speaker 17: for you.
41:39
Speaker 9: You know what that felt like. You know that feeling.
41:42
Speaker 17: Know that was a major transition and so do that
41:46
Speaker 17: for somebody else.
41:50
Speaker 13: When you feel it and maybe you're in the middle
41:53
Speaker 13: of it and maybe it's uncomfortable but when you feel
41:57
Speaker 13: that thing called depression and when the collars are more
41:59
Speaker 13: bland and you don't want to get out of bed
42:02
Speaker 13: you've got to roll out of bed man and you've
42:04
Speaker 13: got to make yourself go get out of the house
42:07
Speaker 13: go surround yourself with somebody and i know you don't
42:09
Speaker 13: want to feel like it i know you don't feel
42:10
Speaker 13: like it sometimes man But you've got to.
42:14
Speaker 9: Don't.
42:14
Speaker 13: Because if you don't, you isolate. You stay in your room.
42:18
Speaker 13: You start building all of these stories. What happens is,
42:22
Speaker 13: here's a principle of life, man. What you focus on,
42:26
Speaker 13: what you think about is always going to grow. Whatever
42:30
Speaker 13: you put your time and your attention into is always
42:34
Speaker 13: going to grow. And so when you're looking in your
42:37
Speaker 13: room and you're isolating and you're looking in the mirror
42:39
Speaker 13: in your room and you're isolating yourself, what you think
42:43
Speaker 13: of is going to grow.
42:44
Speaker 7: And so when you isolate yourself and you're.
42:46
Speaker 13: Kind of building these stories about your struggles and your
42:49
Speaker 13: hurts and your pains and your past, it just gets
42:51
Speaker 13: bigger and bigger and bigger. And you wonder why it
42:53
Speaker 13: seems like it's this giant that you can't slay or
42:56
Speaker 13: this monster or this demon that you can't get rid of.
42:59
Speaker 9: Because you're always focusing on it.
43:02
Speaker 3: I don't want to ever be flippant with the advice
43:04
Speaker 3: to people who are dealing with that situation outside of
43:07
Speaker 3: get some help, get some momentum, and be okay if
43:10
Speaker 3: that momentum is really small. Because it will build.
43:13
Speaker 19: Trust it.
43:14
Speaker 3: That momentum builds. And trust those gloomy and bad, dark days.
43:19
Speaker 3: Trust that those are going to be there. They'll get
43:24
Speaker 3: less and less and less as you learn how to cope.
43:26
Speaker 3: But they're going to be there. And so when they're there,
43:28
Speaker 3: It's one of my, I mean, outside of teaching people
43:30
Speaker 3: to bring the joy in my life, I teach people
43:33
Speaker 3: to honor the struggle. Honor the difficulty. When we honor
43:37
Speaker 3: the struggle instead of hate the struggle, we can really
43:40
Speaker 3: achieve extraordinary things because our mindset's in the right place.
43:43
Speaker 3: It accepts, like, as soon as you honor the struggle,
43:45
Speaker 3: you accept that, oh, of course, there should be struggle here.
43:48
Speaker 3: I should honor this process. When you go to the
43:50
Speaker 3: gym to work out, you, like, honor that this is
43:52
Speaker 3: going to be hard and honor that process of getting better.
43:55
Speaker 9: And the more that you bring honor.
43:57
Speaker 3: To it, the more your psyche builds with strength and
44:00
Speaker 3: you get a little bit of that esteem back because
44:03
Speaker 3: you see yourself engaging something versus avoiding it and running away.
44:07
Speaker 3: You see yourself connecting with something and giving it reverence.
44:13
Speaker 3: Like I have reverence for the difficulties of life.
44:16
Speaker 9: They may be better.
44:18
Speaker 3: So I don't want a friction-free life. I'm not interested
44:21
Speaker 3: in it. You know, I like to say sometimes that,
44:25
Speaker 3: you know, The journey to greatness begins the moment that
44:30
Speaker 3: our deep desires for comfort and ease are overpowered by
44:36
Speaker 3: our desires to connect and contribute.
44:40
Speaker 4: What was motivating that? Was it a positive feeling of,
44:43
Speaker 4: I have the sense that I can get better? Or
44:45
Speaker 4: was it like, this hurts so much, I just need something?
44:47
Speaker 15: It was, it was, that's a great question. So for me,
44:52
Speaker 15: what my analysis was very much about Like I was
44:58
Speaker 15: just in denial for a long time about like I
45:01
Speaker 15: refused to accept that I was scared or lonely or sad.
45:08
Speaker 15: I mean, even intellectually I would, but emotionally I wouldn't
45:10
Speaker 15: connect with that, right? The difference between me now and me,
45:14
Speaker 15: let's say 10 years ago in this realm is that
45:17
Speaker 15: now the emotions don't go away, right? So anyone who
45:20
Speaker 15: tells you that they have a way for you to
45:22
Speaker 15: control your emotions or get rid of your emotions is
45:24
Speaker 15: is either lying to themselves or lying to you and
45:26
Speaker 15: trying to sell you something. So it's not that any
45:28
Speaker 15: of this goes away. It's that now I recognize it.
45:31
Speaker 15: I recognize the feeling. I accept that it's there. And
45:35
Speaker 15: I can not let it overwhelm me or let it
45:38
Speaker 15: control me without understanding. For most people, the only way
45:41
Speaker 15: you can get past this stuff is to bring it out.
45:44
Speaker 15: Let it have its voice.
45:48
Speaker 13: Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, but
45:50
Speaker 13: here's what I've learned. Now, these days, anytime that I
45:53
Speaker 13: feel that inkling of a thought of depression and that
45:56
Speaker 13: thing trying to wrap its way around me to hold
45:59
Speaker 13: me hostage and to paralyze it, I've learned to punch
46:01
Speaker 13: it in the face, man. And what I mean by that,
46:04
Speaker 13: every time, every time I begin to feel it, I'm
46:06
Speaker 13: the first one that's going to get on my phone.
46:08
Speaker 13: I'm going to call my friends and say, hey, man,
46:10
Speaker 13: I got to get out of the house. I need
46:11
Speaker 13: to go do something. I don't let depression wrap around
46:15
Speaker 13: me and tie me up.
46:17
Speaker 9: Anytime I feel.
46:18
Speaker 13: It, and even though I don't want to sometimes, and
46:21
Speaker 13: even though it takes everything in my power to hit
46:23
Speaker 13: the send button and to talk to somebody and to
46:26
Speaker 13: say I'm struggling, I refuse to stay in my room
46:29
Speaker 13: and let my mind war against me. You've got to
46:34
Speaker 13: be willing, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.