Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / Is Your Digital Mess Causing You Anxiety?

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Is Your Digital Mess Causing You Anxiety? · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

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Speaker 2: We had a whole bathtub stacked with more boxes of photos
0:05
and photo albums and, you know, like graduation diplomas and announcements
0:10
and cards, and it was just sad.
0:13
It was sad to open up the bathroom door and see all of that stuff and
0:18
not know what to do with it, and not know who a lot of those people are.
0:21
Then you have the guilt on top of the sadness on top of everything.
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So it was just, it was right where I was at the moment.
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And like I said, she didn't have a lot of digital clutter, but it caused me
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to come back and look at, you know, when I eventually do die- I don't know
0:41
if anybody would even know where to start with all of my digital clutter.
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Speaker: Hello, and welcome to the Christian Homemaking Podcast.
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I'm Misty Winkler, homemaker, homeschool mom of five, three graduates now.
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I'm a grandma, author of the book Simplified Organization: Learn
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to Love What Must Be Done, and host here at Simply Convivial.
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Convivial means doing life together with joy, and that's the kind
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of hospitable atmosphere that we want to create in our homes.
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My goal is to see as many women as possible become engaged, competent,
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and cheerful Christian homemakers.
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And today I'm joined by someone who's been doing things on the internet
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as long as I have, Kerry Dunker.
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Speaker 2: Hey.
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Speaker: Kerry is a wife of 30 years, former homeschooler.
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She's graduated all three of her boys.
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She is grandma to three, and she says an inconsistent blogger.
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She has the Journal and Doodle Bible Studies, Biblical Meditation Journals,
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and she has retyped and republished an excellent memoir of Susan Albion.
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Uh, do you want to tell us maybe, just real quick before we jump into the
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topic we're gonna do today, tell us a little bit about that book project.
2:01
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
2:02
It was a book I stumbled upon, uh, quite a few years ago, and it was
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from my son's co-op lit teacher.
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When we went and visited her, she had this falling apart book, and I had just flipped
2:16
through a few pages of it and I read a few entries and thought, "I need this book."
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And of course, it's nowhere to be found.
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You can't find it online.
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So I found an old used book, uh, store that mailed me a copy that was falling
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apart, and I was reading it and just loving it, and I thought, "I don't
2:34
know if it's legal to underline and highlight in an almost 200-year-old book."
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So I thought, "You know what?
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I'm done homeschooling.
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I will just sit down at my computer and type this out for myself,"
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because one, it'd be good practice for increasing my typing skills and
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paying attention to details, and I would have a paper copy for myself.
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And then when I got it all done, I had a whole bunch of people help me edit it
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from my blog who were wonderful editors.
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And then I thought, "Well, I'll just go ahead and put
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it on Amazon and publish it."
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And then I had a real copy that I could keep in my hands and
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highlight and underline, and it's all falling apart now too.
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But it's such a great memoir of such a godly woman who for, she lived to be
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41, but for 20, I think it was 21 years of her life, was so sick with what they
3:29
call consumption- Mm-hmm â¦ which now I think it w- I mean, it's any number
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of things, but she was completely debilitated and unable to even walk
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downstairs for the latter half of her life, but yet had this vibrant life,
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this wonderful relationship with the Lord, reached so many people for Christ.
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We had â¦ She had Henry Clay come and visit her, and I don't know how
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to say his name, Adoniram Judson-
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Speaker: Oh
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â¦ Speaker 2: the missionary.
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Speaker: The missionary, yeah.
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Speaker 2: Yes, came and visited her, and like, it was just incredible.
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I'm like, "This is like all of history coming together in one life," and
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how she just used it for the Lord.
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It was
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It's absolutely an astounding memoir.
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So it's 690 some pages, but-
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Speaker: It's a big book.
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Speaker 2: We got it done.
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Speaker: So I will have a link to that biography in the show notes
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for sure, as well as a link to Carrie's site, ordinarycarrie.com.
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So I asked you to come on the podcast because you had a post inside the Scalley
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Sisters community, the sistership, talking about how you were decluttering,
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especially while going through your parents' estate and processing things,
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and how that was, you know, changing your thoughts about stuff and, you know- Yeah
4:55
management of our resources.
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And I think that's just a phase of life that we would all be better off if we
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thought about it ahead of time a bit more.
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Mm-hmm,
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Speaker 2: yeah.
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Speaker: And ifâ¦
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It often hits us, um, you know, if you have to care for your parents or,
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or deal with their stuff, it comes upon us at a vulnerable time, usually
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some kind of grief or processing of illnesses or, you know- Yeah
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all kinds of things.
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And if we aren't prepared for it, it can be a lot to handle.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I think somebody posted on there that she was struggling with digital
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clutter and how you organize all of that, and it- it's right where we are right now.
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And Cori, so it's my husband's mom that passed away, and she's such
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a godly woman and so dear to us.
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And, and it was as, you know how it is with sickness, it's fast but slow.
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Mm-hmm.
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And so it was fast because we didn't seem like we had
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enough time with her, but slow.
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And so you didn't wanna spend the time that she was sick going through her
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stuff and saying- Right â¦ "Now, Mom, we need to get rid of this stuff,"
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or, "You need to tell us who all these people are in these pictures.
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Let's getâ¦"
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You know, you wanna just be with them and enjoy them.
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And so we did that, but then after she passed, we have boxes
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and boxes of physical stuff that we all took some of it.
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You know, Cori has, uh, six other brothers, and so
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there's a, a large family.
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And we all took some boxes.
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But I have a vivid picture in my memory of when we were getting
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ready for the estate sale.
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We had a whole bathtub stacked with more boxes of-
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Speaker: Hmm
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â¦ Speaker 2: photos and photo albums and, you know, like graduation
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diplomas and announcements and cards, and it was just sad.
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It was sad to open up the bathroom door and see all of that stuff and
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not know what to do with it, and not know who a lot of those people are.
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Like, and then you have the guilt on top of the sadness on top of everything.
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So it was just, it was right where I was at the moment.
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And like I said, she didn't have a lot of digital clutter, but it caused me
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to come back and look at if I were, you know, when I eventually do die- I don't
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know if anybody would even know where to start with all of my digital clutter.
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So it was such a good question, and I loved that question, and I
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understand the heart behind it.
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And I just, um, before, when mom was sick, I had started kind of thinking
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about my digital clutter and realized, like, I have a photo, um, like Canva.
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It's not Canva, but like that.
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Mm.
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Like an online photo editor, and it just stores all of the pictures
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that you've ever edited in there.
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And then I have Dropbox, which has our whole life in it, and Google Drive,
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which is where the boys did all of their homeschool, you know, papers
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and spreadsheets and all of that.
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And then the hard drive on our computer, which is just overwhelmingly full.
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Mm.
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And so I justâ¦
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I sat down and thought, "I could do this little by little."
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I could haveâ¦
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We have four weeks generally in a month, so then I have four different
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areas that need to be decluttered.
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So on week one I'll do Dropbox, and what I'll do is I'll go in
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there and I'll get rid of all the stuff that I know I don't need.
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So I'm leaving the stuff that's a maybe, maybe someday I'll refer to
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it, and then try to organize that.
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But right now I am just deleting 25 files in each week in each area.
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Okay.
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And then if it's a maybe, I'm leaving it until I get through all of that,
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and then I'm just left with the maybes.
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I don't know what I'll do with that.
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I haven't got there yet.
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But I figure this is just narrowing it down, and then I'll revisit those.
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So our, um, so that's the four areas that I'm doing, and
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yeah, trying to delete just 25.
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And usually it ends up being more than that, but if I can just set it
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for that, then that's been helpful.
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And I have seen a little bit of a difference in how cluttered it is,
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so it's making progress on that.
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Speaker: Yeah, the idea of, you know, photo albums and all that where the,
9:21
the people inheriting those don't even know who is in the photos.
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That was just, that image- Yeah â¦ really struck me 'cause I'm like,
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I've seen that in my grandparents' f- I mean, I wasn't the one who had
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to deal with it, but you know, to see the photos and like, well, hmm.
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I
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Speaker 2: don't know.
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Yeah.
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It's a cool vintage photo.
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Speaker: Right.
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Speaker 2: But what do we do with it?
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Speaker: Uh-huh.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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And we did â¦ So a few years ago I did pull out those big dusty bins that I
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keep under the bed that have the photos from before we had digital cameras.
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Speaker: Yes.
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Speaker 2: So when my boys were born till about three years
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old, and I sorted through those.
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And again, I, I got rid of, I got rid of a big stack, and then I divided
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the other ones up into four piles.
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One for each son and one for us.
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And then got rid of all the duplicates.
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'Cause you know how when it's like the first birthday you take 80 photos-
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Speaker: Oh, yeah
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Speaker 2: of every moment.
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And-
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Speaker: Well, and it used to be when you developed your film you
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did usually get two of every photo.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
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And then all the photos that are grayed out or have a thumb in them
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and yeah, so and I kept all of those with the negative slides.
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Remember the negative slides that came in the- Mm-hmm.
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So I got rid of a bunch of those, and then I, um, yeah, doled them out to each of
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the boys, and then kept a stack for us.
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And that was good.
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And now I'm trying to do that with our digital photos, which is
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just â¦ I mean, it's from when they were three till, my youngest is 23.
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So 20 years-
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Speaker: Wow
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â¦ Speaker 2: of digital photos that I'm trying to just sort
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through, and it's overwhelming.
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But I have a goal from now on out, any time I'm at event, in an event,
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I am going to try to tell the story of that event in seven photos.
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So I can, I have the freedom to take as many photos as I want, and then when
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I'm going through them I'm gonna try to narrow it down to the seven most,
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like, important moments of that event.
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Because seven's a good number to text people if they're
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like, "Oh, send me pictures."
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It's not a photo dump of 30.
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And I think seven would be good for, like, if you were gonna do, like, a memory book.
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Three on this page, maybe four on this page.
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It seems like it would be a nice layout.
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And seven is the perfect number, or number of perfection.
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Complete.
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So, so that's what I've been trying to do, and it's been kind of a fun challenge.
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We went to a wedding a month ago, and I was able to tell the
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story in seven photos- Mm-hmm
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that are, like, the best photos.
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And then we, after the wedding, we stopped at the Redwoods over in
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California, and there was a thousand photos, but I told, you know, narrowed
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it down to the best of the seven.
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And I feel like that's a great number to strive for.
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And it's hard to delete, like you're going, "This one or this one?
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This one or this one?
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This one?"
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Yeah.
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But it's a really good practice to really kind of be concise with
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your storytelling through photos, which has been a fun challenge.
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Speaker: Yeah.
12:29
I know my photo album is actually full of things that
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are just, like, price checking.
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Like, or do you want this?
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Or reference, or, like, maybe s- it's-
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Speaker 2: Yes
12:40
Speaker: would be really random.
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It's like, oh, I really should go through there and, like, that
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was just a reference picture.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
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Yes.
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So many Costco prices compared to the, the- Right â¦ store's
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prices, or this spider that was incredibly huge next to my thumb.
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Like, that's- Yeah.
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I don't wanna keep that, but I have it.
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But I have, as part of my weekly review too, I do have delete 50 phone pictures.
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Speaker: Oh, okay.
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Speaker 2: And that, yeah, I thought, oh, I'm gonna run out of pictures to delete.
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No, it, it goes way back.
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So then again, I'm doing the this one or this one, this one or this one for the
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people pictures, but then there's a ton that's just, yeah, reference, not needed,
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screenshots that I sent to somebody, not needed, and they just stack up in
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there, and then it's overwhelming again.
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So as part- Yeah â¦ of the weekly review, just delete 50 and then move on.
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Speaker: Yeah.
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And so as you sort through, like, files on Drive and Dropbox, or photosâ¦
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You said for photos you have the seven, to tell a story in seven, so that's like
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a framework or a principle for picking.
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What um progress do you see as you delete those?
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How does it how does it help to have deleted the clutter?
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'Cause it's like- Well- â¦ not taking up act- visible space
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Speaker 2: Right.
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I, I think it's taking up a lot of head space.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
14:10
' Speaker 2: Cause every time I go into, let's say, uh, my photo editor, it's
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like I have so much stuff in there.
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If I wanna find a specific thing, 'cause sometimes this, their
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search thing doesn't really work-
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Speaker: Yes
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Speaker 2: or I don't put the words in there that I need to.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
14:25
Speaker 2: Um, it's overwhelming, and it makes me sad.
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Like, do I have to start this all over again?
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Or, or I'll never find this, or that whatâ¦
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You know, so if I can really streamline it and narrow it down, yes, I've probably
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deleted some things that maybe I shouldn't have, but it's not, it's not life ending.
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Like- Mm-hmm â¦ I can â¦ And I, and I don't really know that I have.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
14:51
Speaker 2: Like, there's some stuff that I've deleted maybe I shouldn't
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have, but I've forgotten about it, so it doesn't- â¦ really matter that much.
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But I just think just knowing that when I go to do a project, to go to
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edit, you know, like, a, a label that I'm making or something, I don't have
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to sort through 120 different labels.
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I can just see, okay, that's that one, that's that one.
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I can use that one.
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It just helps my in the moment mindset.
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'Cause it's not, it's not in my head when I'm just going about life, but
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when I need to access that thing, it gets overwhelming, and then I, I feel
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like, well, I've messed this all up.
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I'll never get through it.
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It'll never get better.
15:30
Everything's awful.
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I think- Mm-hmm â¦ I'm just gonna go watch a show.
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So it's causing distraction, overwhelm, sadness.
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Like, yeah, it's, it's not an everyday thing, but it's in the
15:42
moment thing, and it's helped that.
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It's helped me just to kind of â¦ Eventually I'll be able to
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stay focused and not overwhelmed.
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It's not yet, but it's getting there.
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Speaker: It's true.
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I have wondered before how much time I actually spend looking for a file.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
16:00
Yes.
16:00
Speaker: And it feels like the search features everywhere are
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worse than they used to be.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
16:06
Thank you.
16:07
Now that they- I think it's true.
16:09
Yes.
16:10
Speaker: Yes.
16:10
It's like they â¦ Because I'm searching for what I am searching
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for, but it says, "Oh, well maybe you also meant this other thing."
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It, it's like predicting- Yes â¦ and it's also now searching the whole
16:23
file and not just the file name.
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And it's like, no, I just â¦ Give me my file- Yes â¦ that's called this, and
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Speaker 2: And I know- â¦ it's not even in here â¦ it's in this name.
16:31
I know I put this name on it.
16:33
Yes.
16:34
It is so frustrating.
16:36
I didn't even think about how they had changed that because I, I simply
16:40
cannot find emails that I- Yeah
16:43
know I have kept.
16:44
Mm-hmm.
16:45
And I know I have them, and I cannot find them.
16:47
So I'm thinking, you know, I do have like folders in my inbox, like
16:51
divided up into reference and stuff.
16:53
I need to go through those too because if I- went through those, I wouldn't
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have to sort through 500 files to find the one that I know I have-
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Speaker: Yes
17:03
but I
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Speaker 2: can't find.
17:04
Speaker: Yes.
17:04
So
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Speaker 2: hopefully.
17:05
That
17:06
Speaker: was a couple, it was a couple months ago, my husband sent
17:08
an email to me and then our adult children about our Google s- like,
17:14
account with our email addresses.
17:17
Because he said in five days the plan is gonna jump up to the, you know, the
17:23
one that's like 10 times as expensive.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
17:25
Speaker: And we're not doing that, so delete your files.
17:29
Speaker 2: Yes.
17:29
That's true, too.
17:30
They're doing that now.
17:32
You don't have unlimited anything.
17:35
Yes.
17:36
Mm-hmm.
17:36
And that's frustrating.
17:36
Speaker: So I had to go through and figure out how am I gonna figure
17:39
out how to delete emails, 'cause I usually just archive in Gmail.
17:44
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
17:46
Speaker: So.
17:46
Speaker 2: And so now you have to delete.
17:48
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
17:48
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:49
That's so tough.
17:50
Mm-hmm.
17:51
And then it's panic because you only have this much time, so if I could just be calm
17:55
and just go through it, like weekly w- on my weekly review, then I don't have that.
18:01
Speaker: Yeah.
18:01
Speaker 2: And then we don't have to pay for the newer amount, and
18:03
then after we die the boys aren't stuck with, "Why is she paying
18:07
99 cents to Apple all the time?"
18:09
You know?
18:09
Yeah.
18:09
Like, oh, just so irritating.
18:14
So it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't help, like on my day-to-day, but it definitely
18:18
helps when you're at crunch time because they're gonna increase it or you have
18:23
to do something and deal with it.
18:24
Speaker: Yeah.
18:26
Well, I like that idea of like, just 25 files a week in different areas and- Yeah
18:34
um, 50 photos during the weekly review.
18:36
I think, yeah, that's just c- a consistent approach instead of treating
18:41
it like a project that I have to get all figured out and put together- Yeah.
18:47
Speaker 2: Right
18:48
â¦ Speaker: the best way right now.
18:49
Speaker 2: Yes, and quickly because they're gonna raise our rates.
18:52
Yes.
18:53
And I was thinking, why, why am I doing it, um, like Google Drive
18:58
this week, Dropbox this week?
19:00
And I, it's actually because normally I'd be like, "Okay, I'm gonna attack
19:04
Dropbox, and I'm gonna do everything in Dropbox, and then I'll move on."
19:07
But it's been really good to do this way because I see that I have double files.
19:11
Speaker: Oh.
19:12
Speaker 2: Some of them are- Yeah â¦ on our hard drive and in
19:14
Dropbox and in Google, Google Drive so then I can be like, "Where does it
19:18
make the most sense to keep these?"
19:20
And then it's way more i- I can just delete them in the other places.
19:23
Yeah.
19:23
'Cause I know I have all of my son's graduation pictures on the external hard
19:27
drive, so I can delete them everywhere.
19:29
That's a good point.
19:30
I don't need them all the places.
19:32
And so if I was just doing one at a time, I probably
19:35
wouldn't have even noticed that.
19:37
Speaker: Yeah.
19:37
That's a good point.
19:39
Speaker 2: So.
19:40
Speaker: Well, thank you, Kerry.
19:41
I think this is hopefully not- doesn't feel like something people are like,
19:45
"Oh, that wasn't on my to-do list, and now I need to put it on my to-do list."
19:49
No.
19:49
But it is something to think about, and, like, just to notice those
19:53
friction points and- Yes â¦ and think more about what we are keeping.
19:58
Speaker 2: Yes.
19:58
Yeah.
19:59
Speaker: And make it a doable thing to tackle.
20:00
It's not something that has to be solved overnight.
20:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the, the lady that posted the original question.
20:06
She's like, "There's a huge part of me that's like, 'Just delete it all.
20:09
Burn it all down.'"
20:11
Speaker: Yeah.
20:11
Speaker 2: But she realizes that's not probably realistic.
20:14
And that's how I roll too.
20:15
I'm like, "You know what?
20:16
I'm just gonna delete all of my Dropbox.
20:17
I don't even care anymore."
20:19
But you will, and maybe there will be other people that care, so let's be a
20:23
little bit more reasonable about this.
20:25
But I totally understand where she was coming from.
20:28
Speaker 3: Carrie's strategy for dealing with digital clutter is completely doable.
20:33
But if you feel like you're in a place where you just can't even do that much
20:38
right now, then you might wanna start with my Smile and Start challenge.
20:45
It's a three-day process.
20:47
You'll get one email per day with a small five-minute task that you can
20:52
do that will help you gain clarity and calmness, and even cheerfulness about
20:59
your own real-life responsibilities and circumstances right now.
21:05
You can find that by going to simplyconvivial.com/smile
21:09
or find a link in the show notes.
21:12
Whether it's our attitude, our homes, or even our digital files
21:17
we need to repent, rejoice, repeat