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607. How to Honor Your Future and Build Your Confidence · Be It Till You See It

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: The root of people's lack of confidence is they're not showing up for themselves because here's what happens is We're lying to ourselves.
0:09
[SPEAKER_01]: We say I'm going to wake up and go to the gym or I'm going to this is the year I'm going to start eating healthier or I'm going to floss my teeth every night like pick a commitment You've made to yourself if we continually break these commitments time and time again We'll guess what our brain recognizes.
0:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't trust me
0:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Welcome to the be it till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
0:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor and fitness business coach.
0:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
0:45
[SPEAKER_05]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
0:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
1:01
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
1:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Hi, be a babe, how are you?
1:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh my gosh, okay, we have a blast from the past.
1:13
[SPEAKER_05]: An amazing person every time I hear him speak, I'm just like, yes, yes, that, yes, this, yes, that, oh say that one more time.
1:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So you guys are gonna wanna repeat this.
1:21
[SPEAKER_05]: This is an episode on perfectionism, procrastination.
1:26
[SPEAKER_05]: overthinking, confidence, beer, it's really good stuff.
1:31
[SPEAKER_05]: And I guess it's John Malora.
1:33
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm really, really excited.
1:34
[SPEAKER_05]: And if you haven't heard from him on episode 120, I highly recommend, after you listen this one, go listen that one and just see how far people come in such a short period of time.
1:44
[SPEAKER_05]: We think three years is a long time.
1:45
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's like, it isn't.
1:47
[SPEAKER_05]: It happens quite quickly.
1:49
[SPEAKER_05]: So anyways, you're amazing.
1:51
[SPEAKER_05]: John's amazing, this episode is for you.
1:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Here you go.
1:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Be it babe, we have a blast from the past.
1:55
[SPEAKER_05]: And like the past, I cannot believe that it's, I can't believe how long this podcast has been on because it feels like I just got started and I'm like still getting my groove.
2:04
[SPEAKER_05]: But John Malora is our guest today.
2:06
[SPEAKER_05]: He was from episode 120.
2:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh my God, okay, John Malora and Casey Bulle, haven't been with us since episode 120.
2:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Can you remind them?
2:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And you should go back and listen to all this if you have not.
2:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, they're going to have to because I think we're going to share what I'm excited about is to share a journey like whenever I have a guest back on it's like we get to like see where you are.
2:27
[SPEAKER_05]: And people get to go, oh, wow, behind, like you don't see behind a scene very much.
2:31
[SPEAKER_05]: And you know, like we just think like things just happen in the lights, which just turns on and everything works out.
2:35
[SPEAKER_05]: So tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at now.
2:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, everybody.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So second time guest here on the Beat Pod with my good friend Leslie and fun fact is I actually live right up the roof from her hubby's parents in the first state of Delaware.
2:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really hilarious, right?
2:55
[SPEAKER_01]: The small world, small world.
2:57
[SPEAKER_01]: So what I am up to you, I am a personal coach, and no one is more surprised to see me in that position.
3:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And then me, I don't know.
3:08
[SPEAKER_05]: I had to be really on.
3:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, go on with your because.
3:10
[SPEAKER_05]: But I just want to say, like, your talk lasts like three years ago about imperfection was so good.
3:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Like to me, you were like a coach over a photographer.
3:20
[SPEAKER_05]: But anyways, tell everyone why you're more surprised.
3:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I'm talking like longer than like the time you and I have been bodies, but like just your on my entire life dude.
3:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I like force come to my way through like I've never really had a plan and I came to realize the reason why I I never had a plan is because if you didn't have like a plan and a target and goals guess what you could never fail And I was so afraid of failure like I never wanted to you know put my name on something like this is what I want to do
3:51
[SPEAKER_01]: So that is why I say I'd like four scut my way through and I'm surprised I'm here because it was never the plan because I never had a plan.
3:59
[SPEAKER_05]: This is so fascinating.
4:01
[SPEAKER_05]: I think people just freaking like were like caught like that like caught.
4:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, because you just said, if you don't have a plan, you can't bail.
4:10
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm afraid of failure.
4:11
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think there's a lot of people who have been to like,
4:19
[SPEAKER_05]: you can do that for so long and at some point like there's a calling that you have the universe is going to enforce you.
4:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Do you feel forced?
4:32
[SPEAKER_01]: So I like to call them two by four moments Leslie and these are those moments in life where the universe or God or whomever you believe is kind of orchestrating all this.
4:41
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're not paying attention enough, they whack you
4:48
[SPEAKER_01]: you're just forced into these changes and, you know, you don't have to answer the call, but the price you pay is that you just have this just spiritual discontent with inside of you.
5:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is such a yucky and exhausting feeling.
5:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it really is like, and I think anyone listening like I can think of times when like I feel like I got hit by a back truck and then you're like why didn't you tell me before the mac truck came and then you look back and you're like There was a little flashlight right there and then there was this like thing over here you ignored those so I had to hit you with a Mac truck to get your attention.
5:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
5:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there is a story that I like to tell when I'm doing like a small group and it's like, people are like, you know, they end up at the pearly gates and they're like, God, why didn't you save me?
5:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And what are you talking about?
5:46
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I said, I told you to leave the house before flooded.
5:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, yeah, the news report and you didn't listen.
5:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And then when you climbed on your roof, I sent you a boat saying, hey, get in the boat and you said, no, and I sent a helicopter like what else do you want?
6:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
6:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So we don't, we don't pay attention to these signs all along the way.
6:05
[SPEAKER_05]: We're expecting it to say, John, this is for you.
6:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, Leslie, this is yours.
6:10
[SPEAKER_05]: And the truth is, is that like, we all get choice.
6:15
[SPEAKER_05]: That's what we were given.
6:16
[SPEAKER_05]: We were given this choice to listen or to not to listen.
6:19
[SPEAKER_05]: And those choices have consequences.
6:21
[SPEAKER_05]: So if you choose not to listen, you get hit by a two by four hopefully before you drown.
6:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Hopefully, you've paid attention before you run.
6:28
[SPEAKER_05]: So, can you take us back to some of the two by fours that kind of shoved you this way?
6:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
6:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So, my career, again, starting back with my career, after I graduated engineering school from Penn State in 2001, shout out Netanyahuians, we are.
6:45
[SPEAKER_01]: is I ended up working in the space program.
6:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
6:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
6:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like so badass.
6:51
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like the, I mean, it's what every kid grows up to one I mean, an astronaut.
6:54
[SPEAKER_05]: You got to do that.
6:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
6:55
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, without going to space, but like,
6:57
[SPEAKER_01]: space cadet, yes, astronaut, no, but I did get to work with them.
7:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And the reason why I literally fell into that job was because I lost out on an internship with Disney in college and taught rock climbing for the summer.
7:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And that actually was what bubbled me to the top of the guy who hired me who was former special forces.
7:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, hey, look, I'm like, why'd you pick me?
7:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I had like a decent grade, but other than my shining personality and, you know, rape your wit, why'd you pick me, skip?
7:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, I don't need another, you know, gosh darn egg head on this team.
7:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I need someone I can send out into the field and not get me or themselves killed.
7:36
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, you're smart enough.
7:38
[UNKNOWN]: What the heck?
7:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So, again, like, you know, I wasn't planning on ever being a rock climbing instructor, but I was offered the jugs.
7:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I know there are options.
7:47
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what bubble meets at the top where I've worked in the space and defense industry for 15 years.
7:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Being test operations for NASA and working with elite military units.
7:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And a big two by four moment came in 2009 right after first child was born where like I really felt like I wasn't going to be a good dad just because of my past trials and traumas and then right after that one of my best childhood friends intentionally overdosed and passed away and I was I was a mess I was an absolute wreck.
8:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I can remember thinking, well, maybe he got it right.
8:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe I shouldn't be here.
8:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And for whatever reason, I said the Serenity Prayer.
8:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it popped in my head.
8:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, how do we all know that prayer?
8:34
[SPEAKER_05]: We all know, like, at that prayer is like right there.
8:36
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like so, like, like where I feel like we're born with it, like it's so good.
8:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
8:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And for those of you, you know, here's a variation.
8:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I love his, you know, except what is, let go of what was in half faith and what will be, you know,
8:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Like as soon as I finished it like if I was just warm sensation and like, you know, that's when I found like true religion and freedom, but it wasn't like all unicorns and rainbows and stuff like that, it was quite the opposite it was where like the proverbial scales fell from my eyes and I realized what an A whole I was in life to protect myself so that started me on this journey of faith and getting my, you know, just seeing how the world saw me.
9:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'd build up this like superhero exterior, but really it just to protect the wounded person inside and as I really came to terms with that and started healing.
9:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I started realizing that, wow, this job that I have, like you said, which is like every kid's dream, like, you know, former's 80s kid, like you, grew up watching Star Wars and, you know, all the things like that, I was like, this job isn't satisfying me.
9:42
[SPEAKER_01]: This isn't where I'm supposed to be.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good at it and world class at it, but man, I'm just not happy.
9:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
9:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's a gay Hendrix would call from the big leap.
9:51
[SPEAKER_05]: He would call like your zone of excellence when I was on a genius and like it's uncomfortable to be in this on a excellence for a long time.
9:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, people think we're weird, but like you just don't like you're like I can do this in my sleep, but it's not challenging me.
10:05
[SPEAKER_05]: It's not making me feel satisfied.
10:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
10:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
10:09
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not bringing life into me.
10:11
[SPEAKER_01]: So I went, you know, did the responsible thing and
10:15
[SPEAKER_01]: as a now father three and got another higher paying job in engineering and was even more miserable out of alignment just wanted to make sure yeah just want to make sure this is definitely not for you so almost almost eight years ago to the day we're recording this in early April on April 7th of 2017 was what I walked away from corporate life in turn my side hustle photography and my full-time gig and
10:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It, you know, it was filled with a lot of ups and downs.
10:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I had the opportunity like National Geographic's featured my stuff.
10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I photographed my Grammy winners, like all the cool things, but it never really took off.
10:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
10:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
10:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, we're already up to two, two by four moments.
10:58
[SPEAKER_01]: There's, you know, the death of my friend and my spiritual awakening.
11:02
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, realizing this like dream career wasn't serving me.
11:07
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, you know, so if you're counting along us, two, two by four, so the head, I don't catch on real quick.
11:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And then actually, our initial conversation and I looked it up was in January of 2020 too.
11:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Shout out, brand builders.
11:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, I know my God, that is, that is, I mean, we met, I guess, that is crazy.
11:27
[SPEAKER_05]: This podcast has been on for a long time.
11:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
11:30
[SPEAKER_01]: That wasn't even about the podcast.
11:31
[SPEAKER_01]: That was not a webinar.
11:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You had this like zany idea to be like, hey, does anybody want to talk about imposter syndrome?
11:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
11:38
[SPEAKER_01]: What's that?
11:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So I like Google, I'm like, oh my god, that's what I had.
11:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Even like as I was getting like letters accommodation from the military, like I felt like I didn't deserve it.
11:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like one screw up away from like failing.
11:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And like everyone seeing I was I was faking it.
11:54
[SPEAKER_01]: So.
11:55
[SPEAKER_01]: during this photography career as the photography was starting to slow down, that came into my life, that came into my path.
12:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And then that turned into a keynote.
12:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the keynote turned into another keynote called elite level confidence.
12:11
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
12:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And that started getting traction.
12:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, my photography business is going down.
12:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I'm going to challenge you on that second two by far.
12:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I think that the second two by far is a door, like a bridge or just like a guide.
12:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I think like you would never have been in the room that you were in.
12:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so I feel like maybe there's a second two by far and just like, hey, this photography thing is a beautiful hobby and you're really good at it.
12:36
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's another zone of excellence, but like we're calling you over here.
12:39
[SPEAKER_05]: But I just think like I think like everything happens for a reason and you were in that room because of photography.
12:46
[SPEAKER_05]: you know, or maybe there was something inside you that was like calling you to go for more.
12:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I maybe you knew about this coaching thing sooner, but I think like I wonder, like you would do gone from engineering till level coaching.
12:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I, you know what I mean?
12:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I, right.
13:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I know it all falls together, you know, when you're looking back at the path that's like, oh, that makes sense.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, in the moment you're like, what the heck?
13:07
[SPEAKER_01]: going on here.
13:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so okay, I remember because I get your emails.
13:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I remember when you're like, oh, I'm not doing this for, I'm close to my studio.
13:14
[SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, wow, I hope he's not going back to engineering.
13:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
13:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I was so happy you're not.
13:21
[SPEAKER_05]: But you know, like, I was just like, oh, because I've been in this world long enough and like, it's really,
13:26
[SPEAKER_05]: It is really difficult to, whatever your passion is, whether you're a photographer listening, they're not like, when my dear friends like she makes her magic happen as a photographer, but it is, you absolutely can get paid for your passion, but you also have to remember it's still work.
13:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, and if it's not, if it doesn't serve you and your family, then it's not serving you, and you have to like change it.
13:47
[SPEAKER_05]: So, okay, how did you be it till you see it from photographer to coach?
13:53
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, like, how did you address that?
13:55
[SPEAKER_05]: How did you come to terms with your heart?
13:57
[SPEAKER_05]: How did you tell your family?
13:58
[SPEAKER_05]: How did you tell people that I feel like people get stuck on like that?
14:01
[SPEAKER_05]: But what are people going to say?
14:02
[SPEAKER_05]: What how do I explain why changed again?
14:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
14:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was a lot of internal dialogue when I was like, man, I'm starting to feel this just spiritual discontent again.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I've wrestled with it.
14:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, are you kidding me, John?
14:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, like, you already had like a dream everybody wants.
14:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you worked in the space program.
14:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You literally worked with astronaut, I was in fighter pilots, like how cool's that?
14:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I did photography again, a lot of people like that, like my dream is to be a photographer for full time.
14:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I don't know if this isn't really filling me up anymore.
14:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So that was something I really wrestled with, Leslie.
14:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,
14:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I didn't even want to tell my wife.
14:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's been on this like rollercoaster with me.
14:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, cause I was embarrassed.
14:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what is wrong with me?
14:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Why am I just such a, like, you know, then all the negative voices start, right?
14:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you're a mouth content.
14:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You're never going to be happy, you know, all the things.
14:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And, but what I realized what I really leaned into was the truth of the matter was, especially after COVID because the photography I did, like head shots, portraits, things like that.
15:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was always working with people.
15:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And I saw such a change in people's demeanor.
15:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I get it, being photographed is not anyone's favorite past time, really.
15:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
15:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Like they're like, I love it, but I'm weird.
15:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
15:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's a very small percentage of people, but, you know, every photo she would start the same.
15:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Good book, you're in your good picture of me.
15:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, okay, yeah, that would work.
15:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But there was something different, especially after COVID, where people just had this just lack of confidence.
15:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they do.
15:38
[SPEAKER_01]: So I started realizing, like, I was doing coaching sessions with people just to get them comfortable being in front of the lens with the photoshoot, they paid big money for.
15:47
[SPEAKER_05]: That's insane.
15:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:49
[SPEAKER_05]: I can totally see that 100%.
15:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
15:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's that's what I really started leaning into.
15:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So my first coaching program that I came up with a couple of years ago was called Authentic Man of Action.
16:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Because, you know, Roy Vain, who actually brought us together, whose brand builders was, he always says, you're best suited to serve the you that you used to be.
16:11
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
16:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, God, I was a mess.
16:14
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so.
16:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought, let me create this program to work with men, to really help them take action and get after what is important to them and best serve people that are in their lives.
16:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, a kind of took off, but then like women started reaching out, like their girlfriends and my ex and they're like, hey, can we get in on this?
16:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, okay.
16:36
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, of cute wall limiting beliefs.
16:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
16:40
[SPEAKER_01]: You're up and up like, oh, you're going to know what to say.
16:41
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to know how to help people.
16:42
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like, you know, when they hit the button, you're like, okay, here they are.
16:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, just come at me.
16:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
16:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
16:49
[SPEAKER_01]: In my wife's like, she's like, you know, you're a father to two daughters.
16:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You're, you're a great husband.
16:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, why don't you just see how it goes, John, and quit over thinking this.
16:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, so that I open the coaching up to the women and then the keynote started with which turned into elite level confidence, you know, and it's just been a beautiful progression of just listening and seeing what the need is and then answering the call and not letting those limiting beliefs stop me.
17:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I think it like it takes.
17:24
[SPEAKER_05]: In the ideal world is like, each time you get to know yourself and what you want more, and that each time you be it till you see it, like the space between hearing and limiting beliefs and still taking action, ideally gets shorter.
17:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I actually don't think that you, they just go away.
17:40
[SPEAKER_01]: they never go away.
17:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I think if you're not a narcissistic egotistical sociopath, like if you are never go away, you just recognize that you're like, oh, I know this station.
17:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I can actually just turn it off.
17:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Like thank you, you know, like I get to turn that off now.
17:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I think that's so interesting.
17:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I also like was one of highlight, like I do think that there's a massive confidence problem.
18:02
[SPEAKER_05]: And no one is like, you know, the coaches I've worked with because I worked with a lot since I'm in the fitness world, there's a lot of people who are like pretty fitness programs so women feel confident.
18:10
[SPEAKER_05]: And the truth is, as I coaches correct, no one is actually Googling how to get more confident, right?
18:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Whether they're Googling like weight loss or whatever.
18:18
[SPEAKER_05]: But what they are wanting, the byproduct is confidence.
18:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Now that we've on the other side of COVID, I do think there's a lot of people who record who are like defeated.
18:26
[SPEAKER_05]: you know, and and because especially people are age who like, you know, graduated, like, went to college in 2001, graduated to the recessions.
18:41
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, then once we start again, our legs under us, then COVID hit like it kind of can feel like if your evidence is every few years you get knocked down, you may as well stay in the safe place, which doesn't make you more confident.
18:55
[SPEAKER_05]: It makes you have some dissonance and that is where a lack of confidence comes from.
19:00
[SPEAKER_05]: So I do think that more and more people are needing it and even more aware, but they're using the word imposter syndrome and.
19:06
[SPEAKER_05]: and other things to describe it.
19:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, you've done speeches before because like you've had the career with space and all that stuff, but like what was it like to give your first keynote under this like this iteration, this like next level, this be it till you see it version of you.
19:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, one of one of my coaches told me something that really resonate with me and now I share it with with my clients that one of like do keynote speaking, they said the best thing you can do to reduce the nerves is not to focus on yourself because if you go out there with this mindset of like oh my gosh, I need to I need I need to I need to not forget any lines I need to to to hit my marks on the stage.
19:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to I need to just just just crush this.
19:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's when it gives completely sideways, because it's all inward focused.
20:00
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So being switching the mindset of like, okay, I'm going to go out here.
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm well rehearsed.
20:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done the preparation that I need to do.
20:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm doing that not so I look awesome, but so I can best serve everybody.
20:17
[SPEAKER_01]: That's out in the audience.
20:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So the first time I gave that talk,
20:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I did like the rotary thing where I talked to rotary groups and and get my legs under me and refined it.
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: The first official time I gave it was to a group of people that had just completed a year of service with AmeriCorps.
20:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And they were transitioning out of that volunteer space and now, you know, going, love them going back into whatever organizations they helped with, but also taking the knowledge and going forward and they've changed.
20:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, during this year's service.
20:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, because they were when they started it, it's very different person, you know?
20:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
20:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So I partnered up with AmeriCorps because they were the leadership realized that when people would leave, they were kind of rudderless because they weren't the same person going back to their lives they had before.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: So they brought me in to speak to them and it's a very beautiful thing about ways we can sabotage ourselves.
21:19
[SPEAKER_01]: with, with just, you know, whether it's perfectionism or having this kind of lone wolf mentality, building walls in our relationship, you know, focusing on like perfectionism that leads to procrastination and overthinking all the things.
21:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It was helping them see and just be aware of these, these things that will pop up.
21:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
21:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I, I, I, I, sorry, I think like,
21:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Understanding how we sabotage ourselves is one of the biggest things we could ever do for ourselves.
21:50
[SPEAKER_05]: So you mentioned perfectionism, lone wolf, what are some of the other ways we can sabotage ourselves?
21:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Because we look at it as like it's happening to us, but really we're doing it to us.
22:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:03
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and that's where, you know, my newest free resource that I've is on my website for people, it's the six leverage points for success.
22:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And it talks about, you know, creating legacy for yourself, like how to honor this future you, that is out there, you know, how to build your confidence.
22:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll we'll chat about here in a moment about like the like the real reason, like why a lot of folks confidence is lacking.
22:30
[SPEAKER_01]: talking about the ways that we can put more structure into our relationships.
22:36
[SPEAKER_01]: because people don't like to say, I'm gonna put boundaries up because that seems like they're keeping everything out.
22:42
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, no, it's not about putting walls up around.
22:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about putting walls up, but then putting some gates in with some quality guards.
22:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, better than that.
22:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, there's a lot of freedom in a boundary.
22:53
[SPEAKER_05]: But people don't see it like they see it like as a cement wall and it's like, well, it's actually just like a guideline.
22:58
[SPEAKER_05]: How about you go through the thing?
22:59
[SPEAKER_05]: In this situation, but okay.
23:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
23:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And then helping people understand the value of focus
23:06
[SPEAKER_01]: because so often when we're on these journeys like, what are we doing?
23:10
[SPEAKER_01]: We're looking to that person over there and then we're looking at their Instagram account and then we're, you know, next thing you know, you're completely side, you know, you've spun yourself into the ground because you're looking at everybody else and said keeping your eyes ahead.
23:22
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
23:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And then finally talking about helping people get into action.
23:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of the ways that I've realized people have been sabotaging themselves.
23:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, this is what they are heads up because awareness is so powerful.
23:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, I mean, like I think like every time I think like something is like not working, I can actually fight us like take a moment after being upset about what's not working, so.
23:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I actually tried to do this by myself, or I got it this focusing on like where my marks are.
23:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Where am I doing this as opposed to like, how is this impacting them?
24:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Why is this the thing that they need?
24:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I can see like where I got inwardly focused and sabotaged myself when really like, I know the answer and to guess what the cool thing is, you can actually pivot.
24:13
[SPEAKER_05]: You can actually just make changes.
24:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Once you're aware, but you have to be aware of these things to see them.
24:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
24:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and there's there's there's another component to that, which I found this is really powerful is that it's not just being aware, then it becomes very important that we're not judging ourselves with our awareness, because when you're judging yourself and you're aware, like I call that like that that's where the critic lives, like the these are the people that have had their heart stomped up on and they're like, never this is never going to work this won't work.
24:45
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's going to want it like that's being judgmental and aware.
24:48
[SPEAKER_01]: where we want to be as we want to shift into like what I call being the secret mindset, which is where you're aware, but then you use I know when you're very favorite words, which is curious.
24:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
24:57
[SPEAKER_01]: where and curious, man, that's where beautiful things happen, right?
25:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's where we're like, we're a secret, and we're like, this is where I want to go.
25:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not really sure how I'm going to get there, but I'm going to start embracing this journey and seeing what resources and people I have that can help me get to there.
25:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And spoiler alert, that there is probably going to shift a little bit, but at least you're going towards that with awareness and curiosity.
25:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I love that you called out the judgment because I think we can it's so easy for us to like then be I'm aware.
25:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, here I am being my lone wolf and like just like continue going on the judgments on which is not where creativity nor confidence can live by the way.
25:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Like judgment and gratitude can't live in the same place.
25:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Like so yeah, it's a whole it's a whole those energies don't call it this very well.
25:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
25:40
[SPEAKER_05]: So can we talk a bit about confidence because like I do like
25:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I find, first of all, I'm always shocked that people think that people like you are I struggle with confidence and I think like, it's really hilarious because like,
25:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I just personally think that they see in us what they want for themselves.
26:01
[SPEAKER_05]: And so there's a projection that's happening.
26:04
[SPEAKER_05]: And us just doing the thing, scare-chitless, like, come as, it's what they think is confidence.
26:14
[SPEAKER_05]: And really it's like, well, I'm not going around with a sign on my shirt saying, I'm scared-chitless.
26:18
[SPEAKER_05]: What I'm doing this, but also I am doing this because I know that if I do this sooner than I think I'm ready, I'm going to get feedback.
26:27
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to get feedback, I can get better.
26:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Like that's actually, and then confidence is a by-product.
26:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Can we because I feel like people have a misinterpretation of what true confidence is?
26:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
26:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So what confidence is, you know, the definition is a belief in yourself, a belief in your abilities.
26:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to start this with a question.
26:49
[SPEAKER_01]: If I ask you or most people, I'm sure your listeners are all lovely, wonderful people, if I ask you or your listeners like, when you make a commitment to somebody, like do you show up to that person you've made the commitment to?
27:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
27:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Pretty much 100% right?
27:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What if I tweak that question and said, how get are you at showing up when you've made a promise just to yourself?
27:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Hmm, see this is interesting because this is where like I'm really good with myself, but I also know that like the time of firstborn Firstborn daughter firstborn grandchild there's like the opponent in me is real like if I I don't have to tell anyone to do some I'm gonna do it, but that is also where perfectionism lives so I have to be very mindful of that of like am I doing it because I'm trying to be perfect or am I doing it because I
27:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I said, I would do it.
27:43
[SPEAKER_05]: So, but I actually know from studies that like the most people listening, they don't, they don't keep it to themselves.
27:51
[SPEAKER_05]: They keep it for everyone else but themselves.
27:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
27:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And that right there is the root from all the research I've done.
27:57
[SPEAKER_01]: That's actually the root of people's lack of confidence.
28:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there not showing up for themselves?
28:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Because here's what happens is we're lying to ourselves.
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: We say I'm going to wake up and go to the gym or this is the year I'm going to start eating healthier or I'm going to floss my teeth every night like pick a commitment you've made to yourself.
28:19
[SPEAKER_01]: If we continually break these commitments time and time again, we'll guess what our brain recognizes.
28:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't trust me.
28:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, there it's that's it.
28:29
[SPEAKER_05]: That's confidence.
28:30
[SPEAKER_05]: It's the ability to trust yourself.
28:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
28:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
28:36
[SPEAKER_05]: That's so good.
28:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
28:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
28:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And people when when when we get into this headspace of like, why can't I just do the thing?
28:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, why can't I start working out?
28:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Why can't I start this business?
28:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Why can't I have this critical conversation with somebody?
28:52
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, I don't want to understand what's wrong with me.
28:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I work with them all the time that they say this.
28:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say, what's causing it is obviously the root is you're not keeping promises to yourself on whatever it is.
29:03
[SPEAKER_01]: But because you keep your promise to everybody else, you're brain kind of short circuits.
29:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it's like, wait a minute, I do keep my promises.
29:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, no, you don't.
29:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's this weird dichotomy going on in your head.
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I say, so the only way to rectify that is, just start keeping promises to yourself.
29:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And start giving your brain a new set of data to work with.
29:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of this old set of data that you with these promises that you've broken to yourself.
29:33
[SPEAKER_05]: we get we allow our phones to get new data all the time.
29:36
[SPEAKER_05]: We allow scientists to give us new data.
29:39
[SPEAKER_05]: We allow so much grace for people to bring in new data.
29:42
[SPEAKER_05]: And yet for ourselves we're like, no, I'm going to go in that old operating system.
29:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, you're like, we're going on a Commodore 64.
29:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
29:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah.
29:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
29:51
[SPEAKER_05]: So this is the fun example.
29:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So we've we got a use car.
29:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Car my dreams.
29:55
[SPEAKER_05]: It's used.
29:56
[SPEAKER_05]: And it is amazing.
29:58
[SPEAKER_05]: It is a 2015 that has more technology than my 2020 does.
30:02
[SPEAKER_05]: And we, but we were like Bluetoothing to it, which is kind of amazing for a 2015 car to have Bluetooth, right kind of amazing.
30:10
[SPEAKER_05]: And we're like, oh, it's skipping.
30:11
[SPEAKER_05]: I wonder how we update this thing.
30:13
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's got, you guys has a DVD player.
30:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, it has a player.
30:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Cars and DVD player.
30:18
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't know.
30:18
[SPEAKER_05]: I was like, oh, it's got a CD player.
30:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Where people play in CDs.
30:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't even know how to do it.
30:24
[SPEAKER_05]: No, it doesn't connect to the internet.
30:26
[SPEAKER_05]: So it cannot update its system.
30:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, Hannah, I'm going to have to find some dude.
30:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm sure it exists here who can change an operating system.
30:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, at least that part of the car, right?
30:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm sure it exists where I live.
30:38
[SPEAKER_05]: But,
30:39
[SPEAKER_05]: it cannot change.
30:41
[SPEAKER_05]: However, if we look at that, like since 2015, how much has technology changed, how much have we changed, how much have you learned about yourself?
30:49
[SPEAKER_05]: And if you're still operating off the 2015 version of you, that is going to, that is not going to be fun and also going to cause a lot of issues because the whole world has updated 10 years.
31:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
31:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and the beautiful thing is it might sound daunting like, oh my gosh, I don't want to have to like reinvent myself and how am I going to keep promises to myself, you know, I haven't done the thing that I said I was going to do how am I going to even start doing it now and I say the beautiful thing is about your brain is it doesn't recognize the magnitude of the promise you keep yourself like it doesn't recognize the difference between the promise of like I'm going to climb out Everest.
31:29
[SPEAKER_01]: or I'm going to floss my teeth every night.
31:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You are called.
31:33
[SPEAKER_01]: All it's doing is ticking the blocks, saying, done, done, done, done.
31:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And then eventually you're going to hit like a critical mass where you're like, wait a minute.
31:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just kind of doing things that I said I was going to do.
31:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's wild.
31:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's the beauty of taking small consistent actions.
31:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
31:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it's like, I love that you brought that up.
31:56
[SPEAKER_05]: We think we need like some sort of big goal to get going.
32:00
[SPEAKER_05]: And really, if you are not already consistently hitting things you say you were going to do, that is like a recipe for disaster.
32:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Like that is a self-sabotage in itself.
32:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Like it is, like if you are like wanting to like just make sure you put another sabotage, you'll put a goal on.
32:15
[SPEAKER_05]: You'll put a habit on.
32:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Like if you don't go to the gym every day, you're like, I'm going to go to the gym five days this week.
32:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't even need to crystal ball to tell you that you won't.
32:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, right.
32:23
[SPEAKER_05]: It is impossible to go from never putting your gem bag in the car, going to the gem, hitting the red lights, getting out, knowing where the equipment is to get an indescent workout, to get the dopamine high that makes you want to go back and get like, it doesn't work, but you live in my town every other day, there's a new construction site.
32:42
[SPEAKER_05]: So you don't even get to go the same route.
32:44
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, so like, it's bad, but you have to,
32:46
[SPEAKER_05]: make it small so it's attainable.
32:49
[SPEAKER_05]: That's where, you know, that perfectionism stuff lies because then people are like, well, if it's not, if I don't do it, if it's not all or nothing, then it's not worth doing.
32:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, how do you talk to yourself about doing a small thing?
33:00
[SPEAKER_05]: What did you do?
33:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
33:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of that comes down to like that, like you hit the nail on the head where people are like, well, I don't have time to get in my hour long workout.
33:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to do it.
33:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do it tomorrow because you know, I strive for excellence and I if it's not done right.
33:21
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth doing it all, which I say time out like what's better.
33:27
[SPEAKER_01]: 45 minutes of exercises and maybe you don't do the squats and the overhead press for another set or zero like yeah it's perfectionism this this kind of all or nothing mentality and I call these the big three Leslie there's perfectionism there's procrastination.
33:45
[SPEAKER_01]: and then there's overthinking.
33:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Those are three big things that just derail us from doing the things that we want to do or the things we say are so important from us.
33:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And the good news is about these three perfectionism procrastination and overthinking is they all have the same root.
34:03
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't focus on perfectionism because we really care so much about whatever it is.
34:09
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't procrastinate because we suck at time management.
34:12
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the story we tell ourselves
34:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we're not doing this.
34:16
[SPEAKER_05]: There's plenty of proof that you've nailed some things on time, like, yeah, right.
34:20
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't overthink because, you know, it's just so important to us that we think of every considerable contingency.
34:26
[SPEAKER_01]: The root of procrastination perfectionism and overthinkings, it's fear.
34:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And if we get a handle on fear being the root of procrastination perfectionism and overthinkings, now we can get honest with ourselves.
34:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
34:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
34:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, that's the question of the day.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
34:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
34:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And it, and it goes back to when we first started here, I said, I never became up with a plan because if you don't have a plan, you can never fail.
35:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:01
[SPEAKER_01]: You can never miss your target.
35:03
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's the same with if procrastination or perfectionism.
35:08
[SPEAKER_01]: We find, I bet if we're honest with ourselves, a lot of things we procrastinate the most on or we're getting tangled up in perfectionism and everything, are the things that are probably the closest to our hearts.
35:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And perfectionism, procrastination over thinking are so convenient ways to hide, because if you procrastinate for long enough, you never do the thing.
35:32
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
35:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can never fail.
35:33
[SPEAKER_01]: If you try to keep making it perfect, which spoiler alert perfection doesn't exist everybody excellence does not perfection.
35:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we never have to do the thing.
35:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And the reason why these are usually so coupled to the things that are so important to us is because One of our greatest fears is humans.
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, like we're social creatures, right?
35:56
[SPEAKER_01]: one of our deepest fears of everybody is just the way we're wired is to be kicked out of the tribe, the village, the clan, whatever it is.
36:03
[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot of times we resist, most putting the things out that show the most of us, because we don't want people to reject us, reject what we're doing, because that taps on a very primal fear.
36:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes, oh, I mean.
36:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean so much, so like I remember not wanting to put out a YouTube video, my husband's like, you should be on YouTube.
36:29
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like, you know, 2014, that's like, no, no, no, because people are going to hate it and they're going to wonder who they are, who am I to do this, there's other people who in my industry who have been teaching longer and they should have the time.
36:42
[SPEAKER_05]: And he goes, I don't know who those people are.
36:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't care.
36:45
[SPEAKER_05]: You need to be on YouTube.
36:46
[SPEAKER_05]: And I remember, I mean, so scared, and I did the thing because I had to do it kicking
36:52
[SPEAKER_05]: And no one actually got mad and I was like, oh, then what am I actually afraid of?
37:00
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, like I was afraid of being kicked out of like the industry, like people would think that I have some narcissists who think she knows everything.
37:07
[SPEAKER_05]: And really,
37:10
[SPEAKER_05]: what I do get instead because I did it is that people love how I show things imperfectly I'm quite honest and candid about where I am I'm very direct and I invite them to go it's actually like your body's going to look different doing this and so because because I was because I should have as me and focus on like the person viewing it versus like me it actually turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done because it's so much more authentic and
37:37
[SPEAKER_05]: in fact I got brought into the community more you know like and that's but you know here's the thing it is true that whatever you want to do you might get kicked out of your tribe
37:47
[SPEAKER_05]: You might.
37:48
[SPEAKER_05]: There are, there are people who are assholes.
37:50
[SPEAKER_05]: And then probably if you ask yourself like, do I really like want to be in this tribe not being my authentic self?
37:56
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
37:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I, so you're going to get a 2 by 4 to the head is really what's going to happen.
38:02
[SPEAKER_05]: But your tribe might come with you.
38:03
[SPEAKER_05]: You'd be surprised like how many people were like, whoa, John, or Leslie really did the thing.
38:09
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm, I'm inspired by them.
38:11
[SPEAKER_05]: They actually might join in.
38:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's a quote by C.S.
38:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Lewis that I absolutely love, you know, the due to wrote the Chronicles of Narnia is, he says, Friendship is born.
38:23
[SPEAKER_01]: That moment that someone says, wait a minute.
38:27
[SPEAKER_01]: You two, I thought I was the only one.
38:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Hmm.
38:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
38:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, well, don't I could talk to you forever about confident and impossible.
38:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I really do love this topic.
38:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm so freaking glad this is what you're doing because your journey is brought you here.
38:43
[SPEAKER_05]: And one of the reasons I wanted to have you back on the pot is like, I think people get so hung up on like, well, I said I was going to be the photographer.
38:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So I've got to be the photographer.
38:53
[SPEAKER_05]: I made that switch and the reality is is like,
38:58
[SPEAKER_05]: That could have just been the first next step for you.
39:00
[SPEAKER_05]: And so I really want to people to see like, what can happen?
39:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Look what can happen in three years.
39:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Like that's kind of insane.
39:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, it sounds like a long time.
39:09
[SPEAKER_05]: It's not a long time.
39:10
[SPEAKER_05]: I can't believe this podcast has been on this one.
39:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like I just started it.
39:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So even though... Man, that's really hitting you deep, isn't it?
39:15
[SPEAKER_01]: It really is.
39:16
[SPEAKER_01]: It's time you mention.
39:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, I'm like, well, you know what I'm saying?
39:19
[SPEAKER_01]: What does hack that?
39:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, here's what it is.
39:21
[SPEAKER_05]: The unpacking is, I actually don't think I'm getting older.
39:23
[SPEAKER_05]: I think I'm the same age I was when I moved to Vegas.
39:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I actually, we moved here in June of 2020.
39:27
[SPEAKER_05]: So, and two months, this will have loves here for five years.
39:31
[SPEAKER_05]: And it shocks me every day.
39:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I feel like we just moved here.
39:36
[SPEAKER_05]: And so when things like this happen or I meet my friends kids I haven't seen a few years.
39:40
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, oh, I have gotten older and like not that I'm scared of being older.
39:45
[SPEAKER_05]: That's my name at all.
39:46
[SPEAKER_05]: It's just that I actually haven't noticed that I haven't noticed how much time is flown and I think One, it's good to notice that because you can celebrate all that you have done in the last few years.
39:58
[SPEAKER_05]: It's kind of epic right and then two
40:01
[SPEAKER_05]: time is always going.
40:03
[SPEAKER_05]: And so, what are we doing with that time?
40:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, if you are procrastinating on something, I hope that the five times I mentioned, like how long it's been, you realize if you were with us on episode 120 and you still haven't done the thing you wanted to do, like this is your sign.
40:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, here's your sign.
40:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, here's your two.
40:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
40:26
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, like, I think that's really the unpacking.
40:28
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like, I hope that people who have have listened from that episode on have either noticed their sabotaging moments or are going, oh, my goodness.
40:39
[SPEAKER_05]: It has been three years.
40:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
40:41
[SPEAKER_05]: What can I do today?
40:42
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, like, what can I do to be a Ticy today?
40:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, that's what I hope.
40:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, I'm going to get this because anyway, we're going to take a brief break.
40:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And we're going to find out what people would find you follow you work with you.
40:50
[SPEAKER_02]: You're doing
40:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Hi, John.
40:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Where do you hang out?
40:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Where can they take your group or your coaching or we're going to watch a keynote?
40:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Where's it all happening?
40:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
40:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So they can go to johnmalord.com.
41:01
[SPEAKER_01]: JOHN M-O-L-L-U-R-A.com.
41:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And there is a fun little button there that says, scheduling free call with John.
41:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is truly that.
41:10
[SPEAKER_01]: It is a free call with me.
41:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I just love to chat with people and see where they're at.
41:15
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not a sales call, it's just, I love having conversations with people about that.
41:20
[SPEAKER_01]: So, Johnmalore.com, they can also download the free resources as a six leverage points for success that I talked about and they can also get my lead level confidence blueprint.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So, there's actually two free resources there.
41:31
[SPEAKER_01]: They are on there the free stuff tab creatively titled, but
41:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just love to connect with people.
41:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I post regularly on Instagram.
41:40
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll daily things there.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: My thoughts and musings and sometimes they're just funny stuff or bloopers.
41:46
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so John Malora on Instagram.
41:49
[SPEAKER_05]: I love it.
41:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I love it.
41:56
[SPEAKER_05]: OK, you have given us so many things.
41:59
[SPEAKER_05]: And obviously, those freebies sound like a beat action of all of themselves.
42:02
[SPEAKER_05]: But what bold, executable, intrinsic or target
42:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
42:07
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you face these decisions, moment to moment, minute to minute, hour to hour day to day, when you hit those decision points, you need to ask yourself, is what I'm going to do or not do going to cause me to be a hero to the future you?
42:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Zigg, is it what I meet the future you?
42:31
[SPEAKER_01]: In the future, is it going to be standing there like downtrodden, tired, disappointed that we didn't go after it, or when you meet the future you, is it going to just like I find you and give you a big hug and say thank you for honoring me thank you for doing this thing in that moment.
42:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I love that.
42:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, that's so fun.
42:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's great.
42:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I think that's such an impactful way to explore the fear, too.
42:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, guys, how do you use that tip in your life?
42:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Make sure John knows, make sure you show it to be a pot.
43:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Also, it's kind of the step of the way the friend.
43:03
[SPEAKER_05]: You know those friends who like, keep overthinking the thing or procrastinating, send it to them.
43:09
[SPEAKER_05]: They will only notice at this moment that why you're sending it to them.
43:13
[SPEAKER_05]: But like, you know, sometimes people need to hear it from someone else in a different word or just a different time.
43:19
[SPEAKER_05]: And so that's how we actually all rise up.
43:22
[SPEAKER_05]: We need to do it together.
43:23
[SPEAKER_05]: That's what makes your sandbox with your boundaries of more playful place because everyone is understanding where that's coming from.
43:29
[SPEAKER_05]: So thank you for listening, John.
43:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Thank you for being here.
43:31
[SPEAKER_05]: I'll find a kept up with you.
43:33
[SPEAKER_05]: It's so good.
43:34
[SPEAKER_05]: We have to have to see each other in real life at some point.
43:37
[SPEAKER_05]: But you guys, you know what to do.
43:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Until next time, be it till you see it.
43:41
[SPEAKER_05]: That's all I got for this episode of The Be It Tell You See A Podcast.
43:45
[SPEAKER_05]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
43:49
[SPEAKER_05]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
43:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Be It Pot on Instagram.
43:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I would love to know more about you.
43:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
44:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Help us and others be a tell you see it.
44:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Have an awesome day.
44:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Be it till you see it as a production of the blue pod cast network.
44:12
[SPEAKER_05]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
44:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
44:28
[SPEAKER_05]: It is conscribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at Desenio.co.
44:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco-Chilfe.
44:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
44:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.